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Thank God that there is neuroplasticity

Hi! I really enjoyed your videos especially on relationships and self development. Do you have any books to recommend besides attachment trilogy? I couldn’t really find the book actually

Hey man, you have a great insight in this video! It would be nice if you showed your face and used your real voice, and not just an AI generated one! I've watched a few videos on your channel, and I can see it has great potential! It's really important in today's world to show you're a real person who creates real content, based on real knowledge, and not just AI generated nonsense! Keep up the good work! 😊

Your partner is upset you don’t have something for you both to do this weekend. You ask what would you like to do. They’re then disappointed that you’re not surprising them with a plan. You create, ask, pay for a plan which they then judge. You want to connect, you’re willing to give. They contribute nothing. Occasionally they spontaneously surprise you. You roll with it. You don’t show up late. You have no choice. You don’t judge or complain. What would be the point. Its really all about their needs. You need your efforts appreciated by reciprocation or you stop making them. Then the only relationship you have is no relationship.

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

Oh poor me, my mommy & daddy didn't love me enough, so I'm going to be nice to everyone hoping to secretly control them with good works & deeds! What a huge pile of garbage & psy vomit!!! It's not that freak'n complicated... I'm nice and do nice things cuz it feels good. Sometimes, that thing that looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck really is a freak'n DUCK!!!

In my opinion the premise of true love puts a lot of pressure on people to find the perfect match, but relationships, like individuals, are not meant to be perfect. The question is, is a relationship worth maintaining or not?

ouch - this is good... and me...

Not for me if he is not giver bye 👋

For many this still doesn’t matter. Mobbers hate you if you are the looser or if you are the best. If you are rich or poor. If you self developed or not. The problem is your distinguished horoscope and a society ruled on mediocracy. Who wants the guy who healed from traumas?!

Give something to somebody with pure intention to please Allah not to please anyone or you yourself.This is the true Give and take policy.

So true, my ex bombed me with gifts and expected me to please him emotionally in return, this was so uncomfortable, no wonder our relationship didn't last for long.

Thank for sharing your wisdom ,i have request can you teaching us how to lower defensive attitude of a person because now days we are becoming more self absorbed

We create what we hate. I've tried to explain this reality over and over again, but to someone that doesn't have to deal with it, it simply doesn't make sense it. This also enables the cycle to continue because to most "you are the problem" seen as toxic and bad luck. However, that's not the truth. We just haven't been properly loved and cared for. Still, those that are "healthy" don't want to be involved with that. I believe this is part of why so many now are choosing to be alone.

“No good deed goes unpunished”

Wow I’ve listened to a lot of Trauma childhood podcasts and yes my husband of 36 years wasn’t or willing to address these issues he was addicted to porn had Madonna complex made for a very tense unhealthy marriage I’m still working thru my own issues of why I made choices not healthy for me

If the other person has no need for it I won't bother and it won't affect me. However, when you give it is right for it to appreciated, what is life without appreciation? The Lord gave us life and we appreciate him every day for it. And he does more.

The material in the video is drawn from the first volume of "The Attachment Trilogy," titled "Attachment," which explores the essence of the mother-infant relationship.

I finally have overcome this by doing deep inner work. I’m becoming wildly successful in my career and surpassing anyone in my family. I’m hoping I can find a loving romantic relationship, but if not, I’m just glad I’m no longer in an abusive relationship and survived to live life. 🫶

You more describe entire consumeristic society ...then just "* her parents". We live in a very fast and thus superficial society , where speed determines : a lack of time to go into some depth ... . so Entire society is Superficial Narcissistic Manipulative Exploitative and Additionaly ... full of nice , positive TALK =[(*gaslighting). Good Luck 🍀

The problem is that sometimes the abused find a great person but they get them out of their life because of fear or traumas.

👌🙏

Amazingly succinct - I like your style.

Thank you! This is so brilliant!

Experienced every bit of it, learnt it on my own tho. And fixed a lot of those issues but I had to go through hell to understand that.

Love

Thanks for knowledge 🤜 I am learning a lot about this manipulative world.

Thanks! That is one of the best lessons anyone can learn. Anyhow, chasing people drives them away. And over-graciousness erodes self respect.

This is true because it took me three years to get up on my feet and stable and always from our toxic household.

"Niceness" in a nutshell:

This sums up my relationship with my mother. Her making me favours I don't need and didn't ask for so that she could feel happy, needed and me to feel guilty and obliged to her. And I can't repay ever - first of all its exhausting. Secondly, I didn't need her to cook me dinner. I didn't need her to come to my house. I didn't need her to clean my windows. I didn't need her to carry heavy packages - I just needed a moment to do it safely by myself but instead I just had to witness her pain as she was walking. Thanks mom! Good thing is at least I recognize these subconscious manipulations even when she doesn't. So I can turn off my guilt really quick. But I still can't forget how she made me cry for trying to help her carry a packet with things. So much aggression for trying for help that I bowled my eyes out. And that's the reason I don't help her anymore - I was taught that helping is bad, it's a conflict and its always an emotional stress

Life is so complicated

😀👍🏻

I might be over-giving likes here, on youtube, 😂😂😂

I definitely enjoy the series

A lot of BS being thrown around here. Generosity is the essence of humanity and empathy. Too bad it is at odds with a culture of individualism. Individualism leads to narcissism Narcissists cannot deal with their own shame when they need help. It is not the fault of the giver who gives from their heart.

Omg this is tooo much misleading to be an a nice person can force someone to be the bad person this is a very creative joke! Are u serious not all theory applied in human behaviours in psychology what kind of nonsense it is ! If you deal with people in integrity and value them it's clear indication that this is the treat you want to yourself! A person who can not bare to be low educated emotionally and less consideration over and over will admit to be the bad person to cut the road and the effort for himself to start from the basics ..we all know people who is not mature emotionally no one will last with them even if you start yalling and say what is your right! They will still use it against you when they feel in danger or angery of you ! Or you pissed them off ..those people don't want to make the work for themselves and from wisdom to see the end of road before it's start and not wish someone will change by time or for you ! You are overthinking of yourself when you think like that we all know the bad and the right and yes we are Human we can flip side here to there but to cut the road and not elevate or self and mind intellectually or emotionally and say this their problem they didn't ask for what they want they where super nice and they want to be perfect okay I will do the job and be the bad person for them ! Can you imagine how cruel and not mature that can be the person who is kind and polite and considerate he is the one whom will bring to himself the problems in this life and can't find way of his happiness because of an idiot people constantly doing wrong and don't want to do the job for themselves and be considerate.. it's basic in all over the world in all religions and cultures whom is doing the right thing and say the right thing and act in kind way and understandable way they will be rewarded with peaceful mind soul and even life afterwards..no one is perfect so people whom they are acting bad should understand that not the way back ! Me myself if i saw an understandable person a kind person a nice person I will respect his way in living and I will respect his decision in whatever he wants even if I saw that he shouldn't be upset on such situation but if that how he look like I will respect his desire to exclude me from his life ..the world now is exploding with narcissistic people psychopaths and etc.. it's going down day by day wars killing manipulation we need to stand and embrace goodness in people and protect and stand with people in need ..if we feed people minds with this and am not talking about the nice people the bad people this is like a green light to be worse if they saw a sense of honesty or kindness cause this their fault

That make so much sense, a bit too late for me tho But thanks for the wise advice ❤

Morality has two pillars: 1. Reciprocity (Fairness), 2. Compassion (Empathy). So think and act accordingly.

Enlightening 👍🙂

Thank you so much ♥️

Pleasers attract controllers

Excellent video

Very informative, thank you.

Thank you! ❤ And this is exactly the eneagram number 2 personally! 🎉 😢

If someone gave a lot I would reciprocate and match their effort. But people are unappreciative hence stupid.

Confusing

I think the main takeaway from this video is that giving must be done altruistically other than transactional relationship. I give you Super Thanks $ and hope you don't mind replying with a "Thanks!" or even a longer reply. 😂

When do you feel like overgiving? When you slightly start to resent the other for not reciprocating! That's the moment i stop everything and fill my own cup❤

Woww! Spot on.