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Telling your husband with words “I’m so glad I’m married to you” will be not terribly effective while you show him with your choices that his desires and feelings mean squat to you.

She's not much to look at herself but I'm sure she overlooks that lol

Worst of all this selfish B is filling women's heads full of crap that they never would have come up with on their own.

Some women don't like sex guys, make sure you do not marry one of these.

I’ve been through this video three times trying to find something that I can agree with. Just can’t. If you’re feeling unsafe *and* your husband hasn’t hurt you or used you or coerced you(*actually* coerced - being disappointed in your repeated rejection isn’t coercion, it’s human), the TRUTH you need to honor isn’t your feelings, your feelings don’t reflect reality. The TRUTH you need to accept is that you *are* safe. You need to work through your feelings of unsafety and come to believe the reality which is that your husband desires to please you and thinks you’re awesome. He delights in your companionship and your beauty. He doesn’t want to hurt you and in fact would be horrified to know that you feel unsafe around him. He would be insulted, as he should be. Women, stop believing your feelings when they lie to you. Do the right thing for your marriage and for *yourself* and observe reality. Do not listen to this presenter. She gets a lot right in many of her other videos but she is SO FAR OFF in this one.

Im not getting married I swear

This lady is so full of BS. Why is it they feel “safe” when they meet a strange man suddenly they are hot for it immediately.

Marriage and sex don’t work when BOTH partners don’t strive to be more than they are or “want” to be. Stretch a little and watch what happens when your husband sees the effort, when your wife feels the investment. This whole idea of “you’re perfect just how you are” is not helpful. Nobody is perfect, nobody is without room for growth.

This woman is delusional.

Question - and this is not necessarily an accusation, just for the sake of clarification - how is it that women should have the power to define what makes the ideal man, and why then do men not have the right to define what makes the ideal woman? Aside from that, I came here after watching one of your much newer videos, looking for some context. I’m finding a lot of your earlier videos to be very agreeable, even though I suspect we would disagree on a great many things regarding gender roles, the meaning of marriage and the level of responsibility that husbands and wives have to one another. Respect and mutual service/“sacrifice“ are not at odds. I still think you’re off base about sex and how good it can be for both partners, but I very much appreciate particularly your understanding of what is an important to a man, and how much we value our wives’ approval.

The narcissist is now content, having fully demonstrated her control over her enabler.

It’s true. We do love to serve and care for our wives. We love to know what you want so we can provide. Parallel to this: one big danger of the “do it all yourself” mindset is to believe that your way is the only “right” way of doing things. You will become intolerant of your spouse’s contribution because of course… he isn’t you. Consider this - your spouse folds and puts away the laundry, does the dishes and puts the kids to bed. A healthy person receives this help gratefully. Every dish she does is a dish I don’t have to, every load of laundry I handle is one she doesn’t have to, and so forth. An unhealthy(controlling or intolerant) person disdains their partner’s efforts because he didn’t fold the pants the way she would or the kids’ lights-out time was a little after he’d prefer. Recognize that you are living with another human being who isn’t you. After my own experience I have come to the conclusion that the “weaponized incompetence” buzzword of today has more to do with men giving up on pleasing their extremely demanding perfectionist wives than it has with actual laziness. And it hurts both spouses and the children.

He gave her everything and she only cared for herself and her friends.hd should have left straight away.

well this is why your wife is never in the mood, shes not into it, your that wife, never cheated on my wife, cold you are to the advances of your husband. thats about 90% of married life hoping shes in the mood

Thank you

Another great example of why men should avoid marriage at all costs. Imagine getting stuck with this woman for the rest of your life. Stay single lads.

Yup I’m in this boat it sucks.. feels like I’m worthless

This is just an excuse , if we do our part women need to do their part. You want taken care of but can’t take care of us. We stop working and paying the bills and let’s see how you react. After a tough day a man’s needs are simple, he needs some love and some dinner , not too much to ask for , a good man will handle the rest of the families needs. I can tell you in my own experience women are like children they want control and want zero accountability for their actions, it’s all about them, never about the man who gave up his life to serve you and your children. A marriage without sex is nothing more than a friendship , if my wife stops having sex with me then she can figure out how to take care of her self plain and simple. Take the stoic approach men , do not beg and don’t appear weak , she will then wonder why you don’t chase.

This is BS. Just leave the relationship. She’s toxic and controlling.

What a bunch of psycho crap. It's always about the wife's FEELINGS. Great job sending more marriages down the same old sexless road.

This is what has already happened but he won't (nor will anyone else) admit the truth about who he has moved on with.

I try initiating so much, yet my wife has maybe in 5yrs initiated a handful of times. I have talked so much about the lack of intimacy on her part. Now I’ve completely backed off & just taking it day-by-day. I want kids & she keeps pushing it off saying we’re not financially set or got more to explore like I’m so lost.

This is sociopathic.

If your safety is not safe why are you there? Doing all this is a lot to a great husband who there everyday and provides safety. Remember if your not into your husband others are watching to claim what you feel your not safe. Time its not on your side we are aging as we speak.

Ladies...You must learn how to attach feelings of safety in those times of feeling unsafe. Logic alone will not do it. A woman MUST speak out loud and reconcile the internal struggle she is facing verbally- she must let those words, from her mouth, go back into her ears before she can fully process what she is feeling and be at peace. 35 years of marriage has taught me this. Jeffrey Z. in SC

Girls make excuses like these to cheat . Then blame husband .

As @vonkunstler884 said: This is so toxically one-sided.. I wonder after 3+yrs since this video.. Has your husband finally grew a little manhood, and divorced you, and kick you to the curve..

This is ridiculous. Your solution to not wanting intamcy with your husband is to take control over your him and unilaterally set boundaries and conditions to give yourself what you want. Obviously, your husband's feelings, desires and wants are irrelevant. Self- entitled people should not give advice to others.

What utter crap!

0:39 Women never blame themselves... they will always blame (gaslight) their partner though. In this case she admits she wanted to avoid her husband and even punch him in the face (say what?!) rather than make love to him and came up with "not feeling safe" as an excuse. Typical gaslighting for it makes her man think he is not normal

There's a popular saying; if you want to reduce your sex life move in together; if you want to kill your sex life get married. Women avoid intimacy with their partner once familiarity sets it. It happens gradually. First the woman sex bombs the guy into believe she desires to have sex with him all the time. The more the relationship progresses and the more she feels secure the more she will start to withdraw. The reason is that they put put an act; a facade in the beginning. It's not who they really are. They are just acting that way to get the guy to stay. The worst part is that they will come up with any excuse in the book to put the blame on the guy (gaslighting). Women have zero accountability.

I think men who are in a sexless marriage should get a divorce.These women are breaking the covenant of marriage.They are stopping you from experiencing intimacy in your life.

I don't ever feel like being intimate, because my Husband puts me down every single day. He curses me, calls me names, and threatens me...Plus, he is never romantic with me. Plus, I have major health problems. Then, he wonders why I don't want to have sex. 😢

99% of the time the man is the protector and responsible for them feeling safe, so why do they feel unsafe? I don't initiate almost anything anymore. It hurts too much to be constantly rejected. I wait patiently until she feels sorry for me and she throws me a bone (usually about once every 3 month or so). Even then I'm told it better not take too long. I can feel her skin crawl when I try to touch her. It's a bad cycle that knows no solution. This lady appears to have found a solution for them, and I pray they have, but it would never work with my situation. My wife knows how I feel and knows what we should do but it conveniently slips her mind. It's just not that important to her. She's tired, has too much to do, etc. When I slip up behind her to steal a hug, she rolls out of it very effectively. It's just like that lyric in the song by REO Speedwagon, "Time for me to Fly" when he says you've got me stealing your love away cause you never give it. I've gotten used to it since it's been over 20 years now but the loneliness is sometimes hard to live with.

I love women. I cant imagine my life without women. I love to breathe in their feminine energy. It rejuvinates my soul.

One day I realized that it's not my fault that I don't have a job and sit on the couch and watch netflix all day, I realized that this is actually my wife's fault because I didn't feel financially safe around her and she didn't have and financial boundaries. So once I put financial boundaries on her and took control, I told her "I am only going to give you what I FEEL like giving you" an AMAZING thing happened: I found a great paying job and now I'm working. As an added bonus she has lost a LOT of weight, since I only feel life feeding her once or twice a month.

This is load of BS and I will urge you all to not listen to her advice at all. She is abusing her position and blackmailing her husband. If the husband do the same she will play victim and that’s not way to deal with this issue. My advice to you all. 1. Love yourself sometimes it’s difficult so let your husband love you, pamper you a little. 2. Keep clean physically, morally means do not go for porn it will make things worst. 3. Talk to your partner which the single most important thing in any relation which is also most ignored trait in bad relations. 4. Don’t share your personal feelings, thoughts and ideas with others. 5. Don’t fall for equality shid thats going on nowadays he is not your equal and you are not his both are special and unique in their own roles. 4. When you are married you are a team so it’s okay to be selfless at times.

Where did the comfort that existed before you guys got married go? Im sure you guys got to know each other really well before marriage. All spontaneous and whatnot. Amost anytime... anywhere. What happens to that energy you had when he was a stranger you where getting to know in the most intimate ways?

So basically you just kept controlling the situation???? And set more rules???

Man want intimacy Woman: im not 100% safe Woman want intimacy Man: no Woman : you are cheating 😢 Double standards

This is a destructive and toxic message. You married another human being, a man with his own feelings and fears and insecurities. Do you only feel "safe" once a month when you're ovulating? Do you think he feels "safe" when you reject him? Do you tell him you feel "unsafe"? Do you know how it makes a man feel when his own wife does not feel "safe" with him? Are you clear and direct and explicit with what he can do to make you feel "safe"? Because I assure you that he will move mountains to make that happen. You have no respect for your husband, and you have insecurities fueling a need for control. If you don't feel "safe" with him, why did you marry him? Leave a man who doesn't make you feel safe so that he can find someone without your baggage and anxieties. If your husband has any self-respect at all he's going to leave you once the kids can drive.

After watching this, I am never getting married. Never. Ever.

Your husband should leave you and then we will see how safe you feel 😅

WTF are you talking about. You sound like Kamala Harris.

Women who do not have strong desire, SHOULD NOT GET MARRIED. For you are to need him, and he is to need you. Hmm- Why is it the male tends not to lose desire- BECAUSE the "always had it and "always will" . Why does a wife not want the pleasure of an orgasm that her huband desires MORE THAN ANYTHING in the World to give her.? Can you create a orgasm on your own? IT IS A HUGE RISK FOR A MAN TO MARRY and then get cut off. So get on some hormones ?? KNOW THYSELF . Every pscychologist offer up it is often to gain power / and TRUST ME- he is going CRAZY more than you, because you are the one than does NJOT have the nagging urge. AN easy solution? She does not want it, but is giggling away with one or two glasses of wine- THAN DRINK IT

This is frigidity.

Remember guys, Divorce is available. Kick them to the curb and get yourself a newer model with lower miles and start sport fucking.

This is really about you wanting dominance, power and control over your husband, not to mention, you probably want to create more of you with other women. In other words, you appear to be a narcissist. Any women who would listens to your statement of stupidity their marriage will dissolve. I can see that you control your husband.

Hmm, complains about gaslighting women. Then goes on to make a case that it was never gaslighting, but accurate depictions.

The real reason is they smashing everyone else. Simple as that.