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Julie Shafer
United States
Registrace 7. 04. 2016
Hi, my name is Julie and welcome to my channel! I'm a psychologist, coach, and author of Loved: Relationship Rules for Women Who Thought They Knew the Rules.
I help people break free from people-pleasing. I was caught in this cycle and so are most of my clients. In my videos I talk about how to get out of the cycle through better boundaries, better communication, emotional growth, and understanding yourself and others. If you get a lot out of this channel, you'll also learn how to navigate conflict better.
If you are ready to start healing yourself and your relationships, then hit the subscribe button so you don't miss out on valuable information that could change your life.
Hope you love the videos and that they help you create happier relationships and more success in your life!
All my best,
Julie
I help people break free from people-pleasing. I was caught in this cycle and so are most of my clients. In my videos I talk about how to get out of the cycle through better boundaries, better communication, emotional growth, and understanding yourself and others. If you get a lot out of this channel, you'll also learn how to navigate conflict better.
If you are ready to start healing yourself and your relationships, then hit the subscribe button so you don't miss out on valuable information that could change your life.
Hope you love the videos and that they help you create happier relationships and more success in your life!
All my best,
Julie
4 Strategies for Managing Your Emotions
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions or found it difficult to manage your feelings in challenging situations? Do you often prioritize others' needs over your own, even when it leaves you feeling drained?
Your emotion regulation skills determine how you express and act on those emotions. Developing these skills allows you to break free from the people-pleasing cycle and prioritize your emotional health.
In this video, I explain emotion regulation and people pleasers' struggles, such as suppressing their own needs, avoiding conflict, and seeking validation from others. I also offer practical strategies to improve emotional regulation, including mindfulness, self-compassion, cognitive reframing, and setting healthy boundaries. I hope this video will help you prioritize your emotional health and break free from people-pleasing habits.
00:00 Introduction
01:07 Challenges for People-pleasers
01:43 Suppressing Needs
02:11 Avoiding Conflict
02:55 Seeking Validation
03:37 Developing Emotion Regulation
04:05 Mindfulness
04:27 Self-Compassion
05:10 Cognitive Reframing
05:45 Setting Healthy Boundaries
06:11 Conclusion
Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to stay updated with more insightful videos. Your support means the world to me!
See you in the next video!
Get my FREE GUIDE Saying it Right: Your Guide to Confident Communication: www.drjulieshafer.com/free-guide-to-confident-communication
Get expert advice - FREE! Do you have a burning question or situation that you need advice on? Submit it today and get expert guidance on navigating relationships, personal growth, and more. www.drjulieshafer.com/ask-dr-julie
Find support and advice and learn how to love better to have the Soulful Relationship you want and deserve: groups/663443891245495
Website: www.drjulieshafer.com
Facebook: JulieShaferPhD
Instagram: drjulieshafer
Buy my book LOVED: Relationship Rules for Women Who Thought They Knew the Rules: www.amazon.com/Loved-Relationship-Rules-Women-Thought/dp/0960009108/
Or find it at your favorite bookstore.
Start your self-development journey by starting a journal. A notebook and pen work great, but if you'd prefer an app, check out this one: www.reflection.app/partners/julie-shafer
** Disclaimers **
When you buy products or services through links on my site or in my emails, I may earn a small affiliate commission. However, I only recommend products that I would use for myself and those I care about.
All videos, articles, and statements made by me (Dr. Julie Shafer) and/or published by me anywhere online are for information and educational purposes only. Because everyone’s situation is different, please consult the appropriate professional before taking action based on information from this site or other publications by Dr. Julie Shafer. Reliance on information contained on my site, emails, or other platforms (e.g., FaceBook, CZcams, Medium, etc.) is solely at your own risk.
Your emotion regulation skills determine how you express and act on those emotions. Developing these skills allows you to break free from the people-pleasing cycle and prioritize your emotional health.
In this video, I explain emotion regulation and people pleasers' struggles, such as suppressing their own needs, avoiding conflict, and seeking validation from others. I also offer practical strategies to improve emotional regulation, including mindfulness, self-compassion, cognitive reframing, and setting healthy boundaries. I hope this video will help you prioritize your emotional health and break free from people-pleasing habits.
00:00 Introduction
01:07 Challenges for People-pleasers
01:43 Suppressing Needs
02:11 Avoiding Conflict
02:55 Seeking Validation
03:37 Developing Emotion Regulation
04:05 Mindfulness
04:27 Self-Compassion
05:10 Cognitive Reframing
05:45 Setting Healthy Boundaries
06:11 Conclusion
Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to stay updated with more insightful videos. Your support means the world to me!
See you in the next video!
Get my FREE GUIDE Saying it Right: Your Guide to Confident Communication: www.drjulieshafer.com/free-guide-to-confident-communication
Get expert advice - FREE! Do you have a burning question or situation that you need advice on? Submit it today and get expert guidance on navigating relationships, personal growth, and more. www.drjulieshafer.com/ask-dr-julie
Find support and advice and learn how to love better to have the Soulful Relationship you want and deserve: groups/663443891245495
Website: www.drjulieshafer.com
Facebook: JulieShaferPhD
Instagram: drjulieshafer
Buy my book LOVED: Relationship Rules for Women Who Thought They Knew the Rules: www.amazon.com/Loved-Relationship-Rules-Women-Thought/dp/0960009108/
Or find it at your favorite bookstore.
Start your self-development journey by starting a journal. A notebook and pen work great, but if you'd prefer an app, check out this one: www.reflection.app/partners/julie-shafer
** Disclaimers **
When you buy products or services through links on my site or in my emails, I may earn a small affiliate commission. However, I only recommend products that I would use for myself and those I care about.
All videos, articles, and statements made by me (Dr. Julie Shafer) and/or published by me anywhere online are for information and educational purposes only. Because everyone’s situation is different, please consult the appropriate professional before taking action based on information from this site or other publications by Dr. Julie Shafer. Reliance on information contained on my site, emails, or other platforms (e.g., FaceBook, CZcams, Medium, etc.) is solely at your own risk.
zhlédnutí: 29
Video
Are you passive-aggressive?
zhlédnutí 115Před 16 hodinami
Do you know someone who is passive-aggressive? Has anyone ever accused you of being passive-aggressive? Have you ever wondered what being passive-aggressive means? In this video, I'll explore passive-aggressive behavior and explain its various forms, including sarcasm, silent treatment, backhanded compliments, and procrastination. This episode aims to help you understand and manage passive-aggr...
Unlock The Secret To Balancing Being Nice and People-Pleasing: 10 Signs You've Crossed The Line!
zhlédnutí 101Před 21 dnem
Have you wondered where being nice crosses over into people-pleasing? In today's video, I talk about how to figure out where the line is. I cover 5 issues you might have and 5 issues other people might have if you've crossed the line from being nice to people-pleasing. I’d love to hear your thoughts! What resonated with you the most? Let’s start a conversation and support each other on this jou...
How To Set Healthier Boundaries With Loving Detachment | Watch Now!
zhlédnutí 146Před 28 dny
In this CZcams video, I explore the concept of loving detachment and its role in setting healthy boundaries. I address the challenges people pleasers face in establishing and defending their boundaries. Loving detachment allows you to set boundaries while still maintaining love and care for others. Watch the video to learn more, and remember to reflect on how loving detachment can benefit you a...
How to Be Authentic Without Making a Fool of Yourself
zhlédnutí 122Před měsícem
In this video, I discuss being true to yourself in personal interactions, highlight the importance of staying true to your values and being honest, offer tips on authenticity without compromising your beliefs, and discuss challenges like lack of confidence and people-pleasing habits. Find out what mental gymnastics in a story I share about a client and some changes she was being asked to make. ...
7 Signs You're A People Pleaser
zhlédnutí 179Před měsícem
In this video, I take a closer look at the signs of being a people pleaser and stress the importance of addressing this behavior. I talk about how people-pleasing can negatively impact relationships and stress the need to prioritize your own needs. I share practical advice for changing these behaviors and encourage you to challenge yourself by selecting one sign to focus on. Plus, I provide a t...
9 Tips for Setting Better Boundaries
zhlédnutí 208Před měsícem
In this video, I discuss the importance of setting healthy boundaries and offer nine practical tips to help you develop and maintain them. I address common struggles, especially for people pleasers, and emphasize that clear boundaries are essential for mutual respect and love. My tips include: ⏺ defining priorities ⏺ regularly assess and adjust as life changes ⏺ communicating clearly ⏺ spending...
How to Know if You Are Selfish
zhlédnutí 1,1KPřed měsícem
In today's video, I explore the fine line between selfishness and self-care. I'll identify signs of selfish behavior versus healthy self-care practices and offer tips on how you can find the right balance between prioritizing your own needs and considering others' needs for maintaining healthy relationships. Plus, I have a free guide on confident communication to help you express your needs ass...
Can Self-Love Really Change Your Life?
zhlédnutí 35Před měsícem
In this video, I interview Abby Kelly, a love and relationship coach, who shares her transformative journey toward self-love and empowerment. Abby discusses overcoming toxic relationships and a cancer diagnosis, which prompted her to rebuild her self-esteem and set boundaries. She emphasizes the importance of daily affirmations, positive self-talk, and enjoying one's own company. Abby also high...
4 Steps to Self-Forgiveness
zhlédnutí 19Před měsícem
In this video, I interview Sarah Schulting-Kranz about her personal journey of overcoming trauma and finding healing and forgiveness through nature. We discuss the three stages of Sarah's journey: victim, survivor, and thriver, and the significant role nature played in her recovery. Sarah shares how the healing power of the outdoors helped her find freedom and healing after a difficult divorce....
Welcome to my channel
zhlédnutí 89Před měsícem
Welcome! I'm Dr. Julie, a psychologist and relationship coach. This channel is all about relationship dynamics and how to do a better job at them so you have the kind of relationship you want.
How Can You Become Toxic-Person Proof?
zhlédnutí 194Před měsícem
In this video, I interviewed Sarah K. Ramsey about toxic relationships. Together, we explore their defining characteristics and emphasize the importance of setting boundaries. Sarah explains how toxic individuals often prioritize their own needs at the expense of others, employing manipulation tactics. We also debunk common misconceptions, emphasizing that toxic behavior reflects a lack of empa...
Living and Loving Fearlessly
zhlédnutí 9Před 2 měsíci
In this CZcams video, I interview Rhonda Britten, who shares her harrowing story of witnessing a family tragedy at just 14. This traumatic event led her to struggle with fear, alcoholism, and self-blame. She discusses her concept of the "wheel of fear" and how it perpetuates negative self-talk and self-sabotage. Despite her past, Rhonda found a path to fearless living by creating exercises that...
What's Self-Love Got to Do With It
zhlédnutí 8Před 2 měsíci
In this interview, Karlita Nabours-Palermo, a coach, focused on self-love, and I delved into the important role of self-love in forming healthy relationships and achieving career goals. We explore common misconceptions about self-love, emphasizing that it's not selfishness but a foundation for authenticity and emotional well-being. Karlita shares her approach to healing emotional wounds through...
Key Communication Skills
zhlédnutí 20Před 2 měsíci
I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Sarah Rattray, a renowned couple psychologist and founder of the Couples Communication Institute. We delved into the complexities of relationship communication, offering strategies for improvement. Dr. Rattray emphasized safety in conversations, tackling one issue at a time, and understanding emotions. She also highlighted the role of active listening in i...
Release the Need for Approval and Loving Who You Are
zhlédnutí 4Před 2 měsíci
Release the Need for Approval and Loving Who You Are
7 Overlooked Rules for Relationships Online Course
zhlédnutí 493Před rokem
7 Overlooked Rules for Relationships Online Course
Tame Your Triggers | Relationship Advice | Effective Communication
zhlédnutí 25Před 2 lety
Tame Your Triggers | Relationship Advice | Effective Communication
Handling Holiday Stress with A Garcia 2021
zhlédnutí 73Před 2 lety
Handling Holiday Stress with A Garcia 2021
Yet another great video with some really helpful nuggets of wisdom! I am definitely going to try harder to do a better job of setting boundaries and saying no. Thank you so much Dr. Julie!
Thanks! I'm glad you're finding my videos helpful. 😊
I had no idea that giving someone the silent treatment was considered passive aggressive behavior. Thank you so much Dr Julie for your insights and advice. Your tip sheet is definitely worth reading, and so helpful!!
I’m glad you learned something. I hope it’s helpful 😊🩷
Wow, I had no idea there was such a thing as being too nice!
I bet that gives you something to think about!
Just what I needed to hear 🙌🏻 Your videos and insights about people pleasing are genuinely helping me to set stronger boundaries 🫶🏻
Love that!
I had never heard of loving detachment before, and you explained it so well! My biggest fear is that if I practice loving detachment with my husband, that he may continue to do unhealthy things, like eat unhealthy food, and that will possibly shorten his lifespan. So because of this, I tend to nag him to get him to eat right and to take his medications. I’m on the fence about what to do.
This is a tough one and lots of people (including me) have had to confront this dilemma. The consequences of your husband not taking care of himself hurt you, not just him, and you want him to be healthy, of course! But he's an adult and can make his own decisions. In fact, he probably dislikes being nagged, which makes him more resistant to eating healthy--he doesn't want to do "what he's told." You're best bet here is to explain how you feel and what you are going to do, *one time.* And then let him decide whether he is going to follow through or not. _For example, I want you to eat healthy so you are as healthy and happy as possible because I love you. I'm going to continue to make healthy meals and offer you healthy snacks, but I'm no longer going to insist that you eat them or nag you about not eating unhealthily. It's up to you whether you decide to eat healthy or not. And if you don't eat what I make, that's great because it leaves more for me!!_
@@drjulieshafer Thank you so much for your insight, that helps a lot!
Thank you Dr Julie! Your insight is spot on, as always!
You are so welcome!
as a people pleaser ive always been afraid to be authentic thank you for this insights very helpful
I'm glad it was helpful.
Greetings from Poland 🇵🇱😊
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this. 💛
I'm so glad you found it helpful. 🩷
definitely the people pleasing signs I needed to know!
Your tip number 4 really resonated with me! Thank you so much, Dr. Julie!
Glad it was helpful! 🩷
I love this video! I think it would be really helpful. If you did another video with some specific examples of common situations and how a person could set boundaries.
Great suggestion!
what I needed to hear! Thank you Dr. Julie!
Glad it was helpful! 🩷
❤❤❤❤❤
Having kids in a broken world, instead of adopting, knowing climate changes, possibly harm, handicaps and other miseries that this world has to offer AND THEN judge women who chose to take care of themselves, travel, enjoy their young 20s and 30s , excel in their careers is selfish. More women should learn to be selfish with their time on Earth. Nobody ever asked us to be here, so it is up to us to chose how we want to live it. As long as it is not to harm others there is nothing wrong with saying NO I won't please others so that they are comfortable.
Yes! More women should take better care of themselves with their one, wonderful life ❤
The 'S' word. It's a tough one. I feel like we spend our whole lives undoing the indoctrination of our worthlessness. Thank you for this video, Julie. It's so needed. ❤ (And I love that shirt. 😍)
Thanks @erinlmatlock 🥰
This was a great episode!!!!
Thanks 🩷
Holy shit. I’m not selfish
Does that surprise you?
Self love ❤
Thanks 🩷🤩
Such good information.
Glad it was helpful! 🩷
This is me. Been working on this a lot. Taking time to be alone and get to know myself has been good for me.
🩷🩷
Love this.
Thanks 🩷
Thank you.
You're welcome! 🩷
great insights!
🩷🩷
Great video! Your tips on balancing self-care and considering others' needs were spot on!
I’m glad they were helpful 🩷
Wow, I had no idea that I wasn't actually being selfish! Thank you so much Dr. Julie!
Ideas to live by 😉🩷
Good luck. Try to improve the audio because the sound is very low.
Thanks for letting me know
Learn How Effective Communication Can Improve Your Relationships 👇🏻 www.drjulieshafer.com/effective-communication-guide