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Woooo, that's exciting Sarah! I watched the interview and it was a pleasure! I loved hearing about your INFP friend because it's another almost mirror-like sensation with you and I, and what I mean is it actually hit me with a touch of jealousy and melancholy because I had a very close guy INTP friend (I am an INFP for those reading), and honestly losing that friend is probably the saddest thing that's ever happened to me. You might also enjoy knowing that I went to a fancy all-boys high school, and I was never 100% certain of how negatively it was impacting me, but suffice it to say that I haven't found a shortage of people who think going to an all-boys high school messed me up at least a little. And also! Thank you for sharing that Frank James is the one who typed you as an ISTP! That. Is. Hilarious! It would be so, so funny if he typed me as an ISFP. I guess it's safe to mention that I am not Frank James least critical viewer.
Thanks for watching it! That's rough about your friend. Can I ask why you stopped being friends? Did something happen? I recognise that this isn't your experience and I am only referring to friends who drift apart but it made me think of an INFP friend. I am interested because I think one of the differences between these two types is that INFPs, like my friend, seem to get quite emotionally attached to people to the point that they get upset if they drift apart, even if it's perfectly reasonable to, such as they have a family to focus on. I'm being quite specific here with a friend of mine. It's never really happened to me that I would get upset over losing friends. Occasionally, I look back at friends I had a connection with but in a nostalgic (mostly pleasant) kind of way. Of course, this doesn't apply to romantic relationships. I used to think something was wrong with me but being an INTP totally makes sense in this regard and I can be more careful as to not hurt my friend the way they feel others have done. I remember watching a video by INFP HD it was about being a male INFP. I think maybe same-sex school will one day become a thing of the past. I like Frank James and I think he makes funny videos and I am not an expert, but his typing methods are definitely not fool proof!
@@FindingYourSerenity So you touched on why losing this INTP is especially weird for me. So maybe on some level we know there is an ocean of people who kind of drift in and out of relationships in a way that appears impulsive, but is probably natural and healthy, but I suspect that with many INFPs this just isn't the case. What I mean is, I have a small group of friends that will sometimes feel close or sometimes feel distant for some length of time, but in the end they are always unmistakably there, like they are obviously life-long friends. If you would have told me a handful of years ago that I would lose my close INTP friend, I don't think I would have believed you. There was no circumstance that could have possibly made sense where the line of communication between my INTP friend and I was simply permanently over. It seems basically inconceivable for some relationships to end, and perhaps that's an INFP sort of sentiment. I also realize how weird it is to at the same time realize I am Schizotypal, because for some reason that sensation of connectedness starts getting more and more complicated, but I find a way to kind of jolt it back to life when I need it most desperately. I heard that there is at least a possibility of them removing Schizotypal from the DSM, and I can kind of sense why, but it still feels relevant to me. It would be funny if they did do that though, because it would mean I was essentially right when I described people questioning if they are autistic as basically neurotic INFPs. It's so wild interacting with Schizotypals, because some of them really are just like me, which is of course super exciting, but then quite a few of them are just absolutely terrified of everything and everyone, and any type of relationship actually appears to be some scale of warfare. Such a complicated one... And you can definitely ask me whatever you want Sarah! It's just a matter of what I should type right here and what I should maybe possibly just say to you in like an email to your buymeacoffee account. I guess the short version is there were complications in the relationship that aren't totally free of relitigating, like this INTP was faaaaaar from perfect, but if I really boiled it all the way down, the fact is that alcoholism really was killing me, and it finally killed off what I thought was my most permanent bond. The problem with alcohol, is to an alcoholic, it probably can be better than life itself. Sure, when you are hammering away at shots you know that you will probably win the dice roll and successfully not lash out at anyone and just enjoy some game or music, but, with alcohol I would always lose the dice roll eventually. I can at least say that I never physically harmed anyone, like I wasn't the brand of alcoholic that tore up bars or swung my fists, but I was the sort of alcoholic that would start mean-spirited arguments over text messages that would run the risk of really hurting my target emotionally. Sometimes this would seem appropriate because I would really tear into Trump supporters mercilessly, but then of course nothing constructive would come of it and the end message was simply that I lost control. I wish I could paint this in some positive light, and it's easy to blame the fact that huge amounts of alcohol can produce genuine aggression out of thin air, but I think where some of us end up is realizing that there is a monster living inside of us, and I don't know if there is some graceful way to really deal with it. Jordan Peterson would explain that to be the best person you can be you essentially have to become one with your monster, and it's not about killing the monster, but controlling it as an essential ally. But, I can feel my monster like a dagger that I can't completely pull out of my chest, and, it sucks... Maybe this is why the Schizotypal label feels right, because I can be on guard with myself even though objectively I probably am a good person in the end. In fact, if my CZcams channel has helped a few people feel better about themselves instead of worse, then that really does mean the world to me... Sorry, kind of intense, and it scares me a little to imagine that telling you this has a good chance of cutting your own trust in me down, but, it probably is true that I have pretty decent control of it in a way that I just didn't in the past, and I really want people to feel better, and I want it badly. Whew, now I am nervous.
@@Hinsoog Thanks for sharing that Aron. Yes it is a lot but I don't really judge based on things like this honestly. I am more likely to judge whether something makes sense or not over this kind of thing. I believe that addictions are diseases and seeing as I have never had a harmful addiction, I cannot know what that is like. Try not to (easier said that done I know) be so scared of being vulnerable. I've found that in doing so you either help a lot of people to understand you or themselves better. I think you'll find that most people find it humbling to speak so honestly. Most people aren't willing. I've been watching JP recently and he really knows his stuff. He was the one who got me trying to take more personal responsibility in my life.
@@FindingYourSerenity Well thank you for saying that Sarah! It really does mean a lot to me, which I suppose might actually be at least part of the problem, but, I am a human and I am obviously sensitive, so, I guess oh well. And I am excited to hear that about JP! Conversations around him now have all kinds of really unfortunate baggage, and I definitely have heard some stuff come out of a couple of his interview/podcast guests that feel like red flags, but it's clear as day that JP is a great way to explore psychological concepts and even existential philosophers.
Woooo, that's exciting Sarah! I watched the interview and it was a pleasure! I loved hearing about your INFP friend because it's another almost mirror-like sensation with you and I, and what I mean is it actually hit me with a touch of jealousy and melancholy because I had a very close guy INTP friend (I am an INFP for those reading), and honestly losing that friend is probably the saddest thing that's ever happened to me. You might also enjoy knowing that I went to a fancy all-boys high school, and I was never 100% certain of how negatively it was impacting me, but suffice it to say that I haven't found a shortage of people who think going to an all-boys high school messed me up at least a little.
And also! Thank you for sharing that Frank James is the one who typed you as an ISTP! That. Is. Hilarious! It would be so, so funny if he typed me as an ISFP. I guess it's safe to mention that I am not Frank James least critical viewer.
Thanks for watching it! That's rough about your friend. Can I ask why you stopped being friends? Did something happen? I recognise that this isn't your experience and I am only referring to friends who drift apart but it made me think of an INFP friend. I am interested because I think one of the differences between these two types is that INFPs, like my friend, seem to get quite emotionally attached to people to the point that they get upset if they drift apart, even if it's perfectly reasonable to, such as they have a family to focus on. I'm being quite specific here with a friend of mine. It's never really happened to me that I would get upset over losing friends. Occasionally, I look back at friends I had a connection with but in a nostalgic (mostly pleasant) kind of way. Of course, this doesn't apply to romantic relationships. I used to think something was wrong with me but being an INTP totally makes sense in this regard and I can be more careful as to not hurt my friend the way they feel others have done. I remember watching a video by INFP HD it was about being a male INFP. I think maybe same-sex school will one day become a thing of the past. I like Frank James and I think he makes funny videos and I am not an expert, but his typing methods are definitely not fool proof!
@@FindingYourSerenity So you touched on why losing this INTP is especially weird for me. So maybe on some level we know there is an ocean of people who kind of drift in and out of relationships in a way that appears impulsive, but is probably natural and healthy, but I suspect that with many INFPs this just isn't the case. What I mean is, I have a small group of friends that will sometimes feel close or sometimes feel distant for some length of time, but in the end they are always unmistakably there, like they are obviously life-long friends. If you would have told me a handful of years ago that I would lose my close INTP friend, I don't think I would have believed you. There was no circumstance that could have possibly made sense where the line of communication between my INTP friend and I was simply permanently over. It seems basically inconceivable for some relationships to end, and perhaps that's an INFP sort of sentiment. I also realize how weird it is to at the same time realize I am Schizotypal, because for some reason that sensation of connectedness starts getting more and more complicated, but I find a way to kind of jolt it back to life when I need it most desperately. I heard that there is at least a possibility of them removing Schizotypal from the DSM, and I can kind of sense why, but it still feels relevant to me. It would be funny if they did do that though, because it would mean I was essentially right when I described people questioning if they are autistic as basically neurotic INFPs. It's so wild interacting with Schizotypals, because some of them really are just like me, which is of course super exciting, but then quite a few of them are just absolutely terrified of everything and everyone, and any type of relationship actually appears to be some scale of warfare. Such a complicated one...
And you can definitely ask me whatever you want Sarah! It's just a matter of what I should type right here and what I should maybe possibly just say to you in like an email to your buymeacoffee account. I guess the short version is there were complications in the relationship that aren't totally free of relitigating, like this INTP was faaaaaar from perfect, but if I really boiled it all the way down, the fact is that alcoholism really was killing me, and it finally killed off what I thought was my most permanent bond. The problem with alcohol, is to an alcoholic, it probably can be better than life itself. Sure, when you are hammering away at shots you know that you will probably win the dice roll and successfully not lash out at anyone and just enjoy some game or music, but, with alcohol I would always lose the dice roll eventually. I can at least say that I never physically harmed anyone, like I wasn't the brand of alcoholic that tore up bars or swung my fists, but I was the sort of alcoholic that would start mean-spirited arguments over text messages that would run the risk of really hurting my target emotionally. Sometimes this would seem appropriate because I would really tear into Trump supporters mercilessly, but then of course nothing constructive would come of it and the end message was simply that I lost control. I wish I could paint this in some positive light, and it's easy to blame the fact that huge amounts of alcohol can produce genuine aggression out of thin air, but I think where some of us end up is realizing that there is a monster living inside of us, and I don't know if there is some graceful way to really deal with it.
Jordan Peterson would explain that to be the best person you can be you essentially have to become one with your monster, and it's not about killing the monster, but controlling it as an essential ally. But, I can feel my monster like a dagger that I can't completely pull out of my chest, and, it sucks... Maybe this is why the Schizotypal label feels right, because I can be on guard with myself even though objectively I probably am a good person in the end. In fact, if my CZcams channel has helped a few people feel better about themselves instead of worse, then that really does mean the world to me... Sorry, kind of intense, and it scares me a little to imagine that telling you this has a good chance of cutting your own trust in me down, but, it probably is true that I have pretty decent control of it in a way that I just didn't in the past, and I really want people to feel better, and I want it badly. Whew, now I am nervous.
@@Hinsoog Thanks for sharing that Aron. Yes it is a lot but I don't really judge based on things like this honestly. I am more likely to judge whether something makes sense or not over this kind of thing. I believe that addictions are diseases and seeing as I have never had a harmful addiction, I cannot know what that is like. Try not to (easier said that done I know) be so scared of being vulnerable. I've found that in doing so you either help a lot of people to understand you or themselves better. I think you'll find that most people find it humbling to speak so honestly. Most people aren't willing. I've been watching JP recently and he really knows his stuff. He was the one who got me trying to take more personal responsibility in my life.
@@FindingYourSerenity Well thank you for saying that Sarah! It really does mean a lot to me, which I suppose might actually be at least part of the problem, but, I am a human and I am obviously sensitive, so, I guess oh well.
And I am excited to hear that about JP! Conversations around him now have all kinds of really unfortunate baggage, and I definitely have heard some stuff come out of a couple of his interview/podcast guests that feel like red flags, but it's clear as day that JP is a great way to explore psychological concepts and even existential philosophers.
Nice accent
Thanks, I nurtured it myself
@@FindingYourSerenity is it an english accent?