Reshape Your Dating Standards! (To Attract a Relationship)

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  • čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
  • Are you ready to level up your life emotionally, romantically, and financially?
    Join me, MJ Harris, bestselling author and global influencer, as I help you embrace your feminine energy and take control of your relationships, personal growth, and financial empowerment. With millions of views and features on ABC, The Tamron Hall Show, Black Enterprise, and USA Today, I’m here to share the strategies you need to elevate your life to the next level. 💫
    Whether you're mastering the art of feminine energy, looking to attract high-value partners, or taking the steps to financial freedom, this channel is for you! Feminine energy coaching, confidence building, and high-value dating tips are just the beginning. Let’s break through your barriers and level up together.
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    Malcolm "MJ" Harris is a bestselling author, entrepreneur, and global influencer, helping millions of people to thrive emotionally, romantically, and financially. With appearances on Oprah, USA Today, and Black Enterprise, MJ reaches over 20 million people every month. As the CEO of the MJ Harris family of companies, one of America’s largest Black-owned financial services firms, he is committed to empowering lives through relatable content and actionable insights. Grab a copy of my bestselling book at www.MJHarrisSpeaks.com and join me for motivational storytime, relationship advice, and life-changing financial tips.
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Komentáře • 201

  • @MJHarrisSpeaks
    @MJHarrisSpeaks  Před rokem +19

    What are your dating deal breakers?

    • @BlueFanLady
      @BlueFanLady Před rokem +8

      If they cheated in their previous relationships ... No thank you! Sending best wishes from London 🙏🏽✨

    • @DinFL
      @DinFL Před rokem +9

      Lies

    • @sheissunshine
      @sheissunshine Před rokem +10

      No more narcissistic for me. No more emotional screwed up guys. I Just Can Not!

    • @SelenaT
      @SelenaT Před rokem +4

      Same employer!

    • @DinFL
      @DinFL Před rokem +3

      @@sheissunshine- Ditto from me!

  • @Trombonegoddess86
    @Trombonegoddess86 Před rokem +15

    You are so right about missing out due to excluding an entire race. I definitely preferred tall, black men. The darker, the better. But I ended up marrying a short man who is the whitest of white you’ll ever meet 😂😂😂 he didn’t even think I was interested because we were friendly coworkers and he knew my preferences which he obviously did not fit. I told him those were my PREFERENCES, not ABSOLUTES, and I thought he was cute, so let’s see where this goes. We’ve been together 14 years (12 married), and have 6 children.

  • @Self-helper415
    @Self-helper415 Před rokem +27

    It’s lowering my standards when I stay in a relationship with someone I am not compatible with. I definitely know myself and who I’m compatible with and who I’m not compatible with.

    • @cool_cat007smoove3
      @cool_cat007smoove3 Před 7 měsíci +1

      He's not saying lower your standards for non good men. It's being realistic about your standards, most women's standards are not based in wisdom. Most women have high standards that will keep them single.

  • @ms.ashley7643
    @ms.ashley7643 Před rokem +6

    I’m on my way to a fully paid Santa Barbara trip this weekend. Knowing I’m gonna look like his daughter.

  • @csstudio3648
    @csstudio3648 Před rokem +51

    Love this conversation MJ! I agree with you about dating men outside your race. I'm a recently divorced white woman at 65 after a long marriage. I'm pretty fit, lots of energy, good libido. I'm currently with a slightly younger latino who can match my energy. There's plenty of polarity, which is great if you know what I mean. There are cultural and socioeconomic differences that need to be navigated, but that could happen within your own race, too. Love the idea of going out with the man, not his race.

    • @MJHarrisSpeaks
      @MJHarrisSpeaks  Před rokem +9

      Absolutely! I am happy for you!

    • @one2inV
      @one2inV Před rokem +1

      Be careful with this. Being a cougar has its pitfalls

  • @fikileerroliamabena6131
    @fikileerroliamabena6131 Před rokem +8

    MJ is in SA!!!! All my SA sisters lets gather here and welcome this man in town!!!! 🥰

  • @jacquelineenglish378
    @jacquelineenglish378 Před rokem +3

    MJ, I understand where you are coming from. My man is paralyzed, but he has a good job, I don't want for anything. He is kind, caring, compassionate, opens doors. Is a real gentleman in every sense of the word

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Před 8 měsíci

      That's highly different tho. He's actually a contributing partner (great for you!). A lot of these jokes ain't tho.

  • @Jakilyn
    @Jakilyn Před rokem +21

    Totally agree with everything you say in this video! The one thing I can't settle on, is a man not showing up and stepping up! A man who knows what he wants & makes plans for us. I just want a man that undeniably wants me too. ❤😊

  • @tanyabarnes4899
    @tanyabarnes4899 Před rokem +5

    Not the bald-headed best friend?! Im dead.

  • @wilmariematos1755
    @wilmariematos1755 Před rokem +2

    If he has some skills like plumbing, mechanic, electrician, chef, yard work,etc and treats me well, it doesn't matter how much he makes because every skill is valuable

    • @cool_cat007smoove3
      @cool_cat007smoove3 Před 7 měsíci

      Indeed. Women don't want to do the dirty and gritty things.

  • @one2inV
    @one2inV Před rokem +6

    MJ, I’m listening to your but I have overlooked money and these ppl end up resenting us. The money emasculates then anyway. Ima have to just start lying. Ima say I make 30k starting today

  • @blessedchild7276
    @blessedchild7276 Před rokem +6

    MJ, I've started asking men that I meet! Are married, single, divorced, living with someone, just getting out a relationship, GAY, HAVE GAY TENDENCY, like to get you azz locked, like to be on top or bottom!!!! He will fall in one of those categories!!!!!!

  • @lakeyiawright
    @lakeyiawright Před rokem +3

    The “burnt edges manuscripts” threw me off 😭

  • @lovinlifewithlaine
    @lovinlifewithlaine Před rokem +3

    I dated a short man once, and everything about him was short.

  • @harrisbrownnurses
    @harrisbrownnurses Před rokem +8

    I am open to dating a great man that is going to be HONEST, faithful, loyal, knows GOD looking for marriage... come on people are you here looking for love??? Too much loneliness in this WORLD of 8+billion

    • @BL3SSed-Bliss
      @BL3SSed-Bliss Před rokem +2

      I love this.❤‍🔥
      However, while your _sentiment is_ valid, the accuracy is not.
      Out of 8BIL humans: half of that is male, half of _that_ are actual adults [>age 25], and roughly half of _that_ are of your desired sexuality...and roughly half of _that_ are single.
      Now subtract homeless, insane, and imprisoned... You're only looking at roughly 250M available in your dating "pool" *GLOBALLY.*
      *Edit: Also remember that most of the world's population is in China and India.*
      Many folk stick only with their own kind (race, color, religion, etc.). The good news for Americans, though, is that we rank 3rd in the world's population; but that includes U.S. Territories, _and_ equates to only 25% of _each_ of the aforementioned countries; so about 13% of both.
      Now...add _physical access_ due to geography, [dis]ability, issues with traveling including financial & paperwork [i.e.: passports]...your pool gets smaller still.
      *That's not even taking into account religion, values, personality, number of children/dependents, lifestyle- including addictions, habits, kinks, etc.*
      I, too, used to utilize that *"8BIL"* quote a lot. But, realistically, when you do the actual, true math (like MJ did here, with other groups and stats)...you'll see *just how small it **_actually_** is.*
      *May we all **_not just meet, but also be happy with_** the love we seek, desire, and deserve.*
      Best & Blessed Wishes.💖

  • @trilliontrillion8087
    @trilliontrillion8087 Před rokem +7

    MJ you hit the nail on the head with this one , I'm guilty of this myself i know realistically I'm not going to fine a rich man where i live. But as long as he's got a good job and has himself together with no babie momma issues ill be fine .

  • @glendarelli
    @glendarelli Před rokem +4

    I just enjoy watching MJ, he's so cute and funny.

  • @ms.ashley7643
    @ms.ashley7643 Před rokem +5

    I love this grown as real chat

  • @IAmTheQueen87
    @IAmTheQueen87 Před rokem +6

    This video was so funny and so necessary!!! Def makes you think about things and evaluate what you’re asking for. This is one of the main reasons I always say I don’t have a type cuz I like who looks good to me and treats me well. My main thing that I look for is character and mindset and that’s where my issue lies. I feel like the mindset, character and values of people these days are very low. So not only are you dealing with low character but they broke and got small peen too? That’s what a lot of us are dealing with. 😩

  • @MandingMusso
    @MandingMusso Před rokem +2

    I feel attacked😩 he made me happy but my focus was how financially stable he was not & my energy was too masculine… I drove him away 😔

    • @Trombonegoddess86
      @Trombonegoddess86 Před rokem +3

      What do you mean by not financially stable because depending on the definition you have, you may have dodged a bullet. Being with a person who is financially unstable is a rough and frustrating life. It can be worked out if you’re already in the relationship, but if you can see it before committing, it’s a red flag for me to run the other way.

  • @dianemurphy9412
    @dianemurphy9412 Před rokem +1

    I like the way you think!!! I am 68 and I have seen the many changes in the women of today. What is going on? My father taught me well when it comes to the man's money. He said that it is none of your business whats in a man's wallet but in your purse is. He also said that if the man is into you, you don't have to ask, he will give to you any way. That thought was very true.

  • @nomondekananda_
    @nomondekananda_ Před rokem +5

    I just discovered your channel and I love your energy. Genuine, honest and positive. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.❤

  • @keyf6845
    @keyf6845 Před rokem +4

    I genuinely love your content, so real, honest, and comical.

  • @ms.ashley7643
    @ms.ashley7643 Před rokem +2

    Have a credit score above 800 it’s not hard you just have to pay your bills on time. And pay credit cards off in full each month.

    • @Trombonegoddess86
      @Trombonegoddess86 Před rokem

      And no student loans 😅 if I didn’t have student loans, my credit would be beautiful.

  • @bridgetevans2188
    @bridgetevans2188 Před rokem +6

    If his situation were different, he might not want you!! Just saying!! Some people want you for what you can do for them. Or what they think you can do for them!! Something to think about!! Men pick women that are going to benefit them as well!

  • @j-tenn226
    @j-tenn226 Před rokem +1

    I have standards set, it’s just a matter of meeting men and getting asked out and going out on dates.

  • @kaybelletv3659
    @kaybelletv3659 Před 5 měsíci

    “Put him in some platform shoes & you wear some flats”! -MJ 😅😂🤣😭 MJJJJJJJ😭😭

  • @Desie380
    @Desie380 Před rokem +7

    Thank you MJ you are truly speaking to my spirit I will change my approach for the qualities I look in dating because honestly my method ain’t working ❤

  • @besslee7905
    @besslee7905 Před rokem +4

    Never, lower your standards just be realistic.

    • @cool_cat007smoove3
      @cool_cat007smoove3 Před 7 měsíci

      Ask yourself.... What are your standards based in emotions and wisdom.

  • @nmooregreene
    @nmooregreene Před rokem +7

    😂I love to hear you talk junk and educate at the same time ❤

  • @indiamoreno4859
    @indiamoreno4859 Před rokem +2

    I agree I lost my best friend because she was asking about my husband and what he doing for me I M muslim very well.taken care of by him ❤❤❤❤you ate so right

  • @aprilgreen62
    @aprilgreen62 Před rokem +1

    You should try the Dior lip oil. It is so wonderfully hydrating with very little color of any and gives your lips just that kissable glow that would looks so good on you. 😉

  • @aletham.harvenph.d.7907
    @aletham.harvenph.d.7907 Před rokem +5

    Love you MJ! Thanks for today’s LIVE! 💕

  • @EBad-ko8zy
    @EBad-ko8zy Před rokem +1

    That was a testing for “Live” feed that what it states.

  • @tarahbruno3793
    @tarahbruno3793 Před rokem +1

    We need real talk like this! ❤❤

  • @COUNTZ8975
    @COUNTZ8975 Před rokem +2

    Im loving the way you talking 😅😅😂😂❤❤❤❤❤

  • @wilmariematos1755
    @wilmariematos1755 Před rokem

    Life is a mirror. So, are you in love with yourself? Do you like yourself? If not, then how do you expect to find someone like you.

  • @boujimobbin9530
    @boujimobbin9530 Před rokem

    Trustworthy, funny or witty, positive , intelligent, considerate, appreciates my creativity & love for animals, goal oriented ❤

  • @PINKDiva88
    @PINKDiva88 Před rokem +2

    I guess I gotta give the old men that harass me a chance. At this point I might as well date my damn self

  • @SDC8686
    @SDC8686 Před rokem +3

    Lol ❤bald headed girlfriends.... I love you!!😂

  • @deidreritter1165
    @deidreritter1165 Před rokem +3

    I just got off a date with a man a lot shorter than me and I’m really holding myself accountable and refusing to let his height get in the way of all the things I like about him so far… I will remain hypergamous though because I’ll be damned if I make more than a man while existing in a patriarchal society

    • @MarciaRain
      @MarciaRain Před rokem +6

      I’m dating a man who’s pretty short but babyyyy when I tell you that man is a hard worker. And he spoils me.

    • @Trombonegoddess86
      @Trombonegoddess86 Před rokem

      ⁠@@MarciaRain my husband is taller than me, but short overall. I preferred tall men (the guy I dated before my husband was 6’4), but I gave my husband a chance because I thought he was cute. We’ve been married 12 years. 6 kids 😅😂🥰

  • @jojb411
    @jojb411 Před rokem +1

    ok but why do I find the man at the bodega sexy lol... I luv u MJ lolll

  • @suekennedy4716
    @suekennedy4716 Před rokem +5

    I'm retired... It gets harder at this age, really does

    • @lavernsexton7009
      @lavernsexton7009 Před rokem +6

      Yes, it does, but concentrate on yourself because sometimes we bring problems on ourselves by accepting the wrong type of men in our lives. Good luck to you.

    • @marcerradalyah5018
      @marcerradalyah5018 Před rokem +1

      @@lavernsexton7009❤❤❤ well said

  • @fanniehayes9351
    @fanniehayes9351 Před rokem +3

    Oh my dearest MJ this particular topic is excellent to elaborate on. I love you so very much best friend 😊❤

  • @nancyhutanu8028
    @nancyhutanu8028 Před měsícem

    Mj you have literally saved my life with your videos!!

  • @carolkirkland819
    @carolkirkland819 Před rokem +2

    Thanks MJ, life is about choice and the consequences of your choices♥️

  • @dorisforbes327
    @dorisforbes327 Před rokem +4

    MJ you really broke it down❣️❣️❣️

  • @anaisd3735
    @anaisd3735 Před 10 měsíci

    I agree for all what you say
    Re shaping our standarts BUTTT i disagree if we are not at all attracted to a guy but we love him as a bestie even tough they want us badly. Finding a balance

  • @princesses278
    @princesses278 Před 8 měsíci

    I’m not having any problems finding tall attractive men that are wealthy who have big package 📦 but I can tell you how they treat u is most important ❤❤

  • @livingmybestlife1208
    @livingmybestlife1208 Před rokem +3

    Agree MJ , love your talks, you are so wise and always have great advice ❤and you are hilarious to😂

  • @shirleyallman6111
    @shirleyallman6111 Před rokem +2

    That lip s rub did make a difference ♥️running to get me some! Lol

  • @doradoumbia5383
    @doradoumbia5383 Před rokem

    Yes don't be picky

  • @angelaambey5151
    @angelaambey5151 Před rokem +2

    Hey m just love ur channel
    Questions
    Tell me about the available men for 60 n older been single for 3yrs help philly

  • @nicky1682
    @nicky1682 Před rokem +2

    You have no idea the impact this mafe on my personal perspective. I was hesitant to date out of my ethnicity, culture, and never considered.f dating short men. Yet , love is the priority.. MJ you're transparent and real raw insight was received..😊

    • @Trombonegoddess86
      @Trombonegoddess86 Před rokem

      My husband is the exact opposite of all of my preferences. I thought he was cute though, so I decided to give him a try anyway. We’ve been married 12 years and have 6 children.

  • @livingmybestlife1208
    @livingmybestlife1208 Před rokem +1

    So good love your wisdom ❤️ and your so real and hilarious

  • @BL3SSed-Bliss
    @BL3SSed-Bliss Před rokem +1

    *Hold 🆙, now... You got me over here **_tingling for "Tyrell"❣_* 🤩💯😍

  • @SDC8686
    @SDC8686 Před rokem +4

    Girl! I'm in the gym a lot. It does feel like I have to 'settle' in a sense to have a wider dating pool within my age group (30s). For real will date a fit grandpa, lol

    • @MJHarrisSpeaks
      @MJHarrisSpeaks  Před rokem +9

      Go say hit to Mr. Otis! 😂❤️

    • @Trombonegoddess86
      @Trombonegoddess86 Před rokem +1

      @@MJHarrisSpeaks😂😂😂 not Mr. Otis!!! 🤣

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Před 8 měsíci

      Don't "settle" the piss is dispersed throughout the pool

  • @harrisbrownnurses
    @harrisbrownnurses Před rokem +3

    Is there any gentleman here from the Army???

  • @kimben3493
    @kimben3493 Před rokem +1

    I remember them days! W the lights!

  • @danar6950
    @danar6950 Před rokem +1

    Love these keep it real convos when Auntie is cussin’ and setting us straight 🥰🤭❤️

  • @thaliakate444
    @thaliakate444 Před rokem

    MJ’s had enough! He’s cracking the whip now ladies 👏🏼

  • @roea7846
    @roea7846 Před rokem +1

    Love you, MJ! You are speaking the truth.

  • @maryagui233
    @maryagui233 Před rokem +2

    😂 you always make me laugh love your videos

  • @MissFlint4U
    @MissFlint4U Před rokem

    I love your channel. May I request a video on how to keep a man, maintain a long, healthy, happy relationship? Thank you for all of the wonderful info you share regularly.

  • @laneshastanley5034
    @laneshastanley5034 Před rokem

    Help us M.J! You are so right. We needed to hear this. Love you boo❤😘

  • @bsteed3422
    @bsteed3422 Před rokem +1

    You are crazy 😂😂😂😂😂, love you , you are so funny 😂😂😂😂

  • @Trombonegoddess86
    @Trombonegoddess86 Před rokem

    People were ignoring the fact that Tabitha’s husband was a POLICE OFFICER! It’s great that Tab was successful enough so that her husband no longer had to work such a dangerous job.

  • @wilmariematos1755
    @wilmariematos1755 Před rokem

    Don't forget that we are Mortal

  • @rachelreed6829
    @rachelreed6829 Před rokem

    I love your honesty. Most people can’t handle straight shit talk

  • @Princess-ec4cl
    @Princess-ec4cl Před rokem +1

    I cant eat happiness🤣

  • @GlendaGray-xi9uz
    @GlendaGray-xi9uz Před rokem +1

    God Bless you MJ!!! Thank you for your pearls!

  • @MindbytesXL
    @MindbytesXL Před rokem

    The percentage section was hilarious😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Love you MJ.

  • @annag3402
    @annag3402 Před 11 měsíci

    Hi MJ, this is my first live!

  • @Arizona_lilly
    @Arizona_lilly Před rokem +3

    If he can pay his own bills 💵 id be happy don’t ask me please 🎉

  • @besslee7905
    @besslee7905 Před rokem +3

    Yall see how that woman got short ugly Kevin Hart. She has to bow to kiss him and she appears to be happy.

  • @lovindelight0
    @lovindelight0 Před rokem +1

    #immarriagematerial defined by a person willing to work on the relationship period

  • @shanetem.5852
    @shanetem.5852 Před rokem

    I've learned to never judge a book by its cover alone

  • @Melody-ih7pp
    @Melody-ih7pp Před 3 měsíci

    Omg your amazing I feel like your the male version of me

  • @malaikaqueen7987
    @malaikaqueen7987 Před rokem +1

    Hey ,I love your CZcams channel ,I have been looking for handsome men to date but it never reached anywhere so should I tried something else.

  • @marianalar1
    @marianalar1 Před rokem

    WOW! Hard truths! Thank you 😊

  • @theinfinitepatricefair
    @theinfinitepatricefair Před rokem +2

    I love this ❤

  • @ttefort3146
    @ttefort3146 Před rokem +1

    Manhattan NY

  • @carmelswt
    @carmelswt Před rokem +4

    Hi MJ. I'm 61yo my son said date younger...what's your best advice for us older ladies?

    • @ormai246
      @ormai246 Před rokem +6

      Date younger, Sis 🎉🫶

    • @MsSadeBrown
      @MsSadeBrown Před rokem +4

      I'm dating younger and loving every minute of it.

    • @DinFL
      @DinFL Před rokem +1

      Younger!!!

  • @thekevinjonesexperience8513

    So true!

  • @rizuejigu7402
    @rizuejigu7402 Před rokem +1

    37-39min mark...😂😂

  • @lf663
    @lf663 Před rokem +2

    Love all of your content ❤ would love to see a video on how to act with a man who you’ve just met, haven’t quite exchanged numbers yet, but definitely can sense you are both feeling eachother. How do we take that to the next level, whilst staying in our feminine energies???
    Much love from London UK ❤

  • @jamaicakindergartenchannel2895

    What about habits such as smoking and drinking

  • @gailberry7005
    @gailberry7005 Před rokem

    Your on a real roll today
    I feel You❤

  • @nichelle6544
    @nichelle6544 Před 7 měsíci

    Preach!

  • @cherylcerejo9740
    @cherylcerejo9740 Před rokem +2

    I JUST LOVE YOU

  • @ceciliajackson1027
    @ceciliajackson1027 Před rokem

    That’s not right

  • @SelenaT
    @SelenaT Před rokem +1

    I simply adore you! ❤
    #Prince

  • @mariagreen1354
    @mariagreen1354 Před 7 měsíci

    Girlfriends always ask about your dude

  • @LuluDirection1m
    @LuluDirection1m Před rokem

    Truths, loving you❤

  • @wilmariematos1755
    @wilmariematos1755 Před rokem

    Hi MJ. Love you

  • @TasyaLynch
    @TasyaLynch Před 6 měsíci

    I agree 💯

  • @Tina_stella
    @Tina_stella Před rokem

    You make me laugh I just love you MJ!!!!!!😂😂😂

  • @meli7315
    @meli7315 Před rokem

    Thank you beautiful soul 💚🧡🦋

  • @ellenringer5236
    @ellenringer5236 Před rokem

    I agree.

  • @ayaali768
    @ayaali768 Před 8 měsíci

    Why do I love you so much 😂❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤