Sweden Hates Small Talk
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SOURCES & FURTHER READING
Why Swedes Don’t Talk To Strangers: www.bbc.com/travel/article/20...
Why Small Talk Is Important: www.forbes.com/sites/juliawue...
Peaches & Coconuts: www.fastcompany.com/3057241/h...
Are You A Peach Or A Coconut?: www.trainingcq.com/are-you-a-...
Small Talk Topics: www.verywellmind.com/small-ta...
How Swedes Avoid Small Talk: hejsweden.com/en/small-talk-w...
Pros & Cons Of Sweden: karenroldan.net/pros-and-cons...
![Small Talk Survival Guide for Introverts [Exclusive Video]](/img/n.gif)
Do you enjoy small talk?
No.
Meh maybe 😕
I don't enjoy it or understand it, it seems like a waste of time. Maybe I'm Swedish.
yes, especially when people talk to me i like listening
guess im a peach guy lol 🍑 😉
Swedes do a lot of smalltalk, we just don't like talking to people we don't know or have any real reason to talk to.
Just talked with a swede about this...as a Finn I have to say swedes like to diskutera too much.
Yeah exactly! I often heard that Finns, Russians and Japanese are the ones who hate small talk. I remember growing up with adults keep nagging at me to be always polite and greet others all the time.
Mera Mera diskutera
This is so weird. Well-adjusted humans do not describe interactions with friends & relatives as small talk! Small talk applies to strangers, casual acquaintances, maybe coworkers.
Swede here. I think it’s tied to lifestyle. Unless you’re a busy diplomat with lots of different stuff every time to talk about, small talk just ends up being repetitive and even ruminative, as it doesn’t get anywhere and just becomes theatre for its own sake.
It can be viewed as that but is also a type of grooming just like chimps do when they take out each others bugs, ticks and lice, it's like a reckoning of, oh! you're human too let's engage in something to reveal we are not in opposition with harm intentions to each other. because you don't perform small chat with opposite tribe/different species, so it's a fast way to calm down and sense where the other person intentions lay in a non physical non invasive way, once you both agree/realize there is no weird tension or bad intentions you can relax and not feel threatened by the other human and in most cases you end the chat there too. I know you hate it because you are basically a community of all the same people with constant police surveillance, that wasn't the case for most of history and humans came into contact with other groups constantly so they figured that way, to not make it that direct, it's kinda like flirting but for safety purposes, if you go, hey! are you opposition/enemy? straight away in a non smooth way the other person will tense and might engage in violent behavior towards you, but if you're smooth nothing will happen. A good example is women in a taxi, they jump into one and they wanna make sure you're not a weirdo that can do harm, so they do small talk and they figure out, if they sense something wrong they leave the taxi, because the taxi driver being a man has the upper hand on strength and it's also the one driving, so much can go wrong out of that.
Europeans in general don't make nearly as much small talk to strangers. The primary reason for this, is the US has long had a transient culture, where people try & make friends at least on the surface, as soon as possible, because otherwise, they'd be too vulnerable to the many dangers in the new unknown, spreadout land. A person is more likely to lookout for you or otherwise help you, if they've made smalltalk with you, or even just nodded in acknowledgment or waved.
If Europeans think of this, maybe they wouldn't feel so uncomfortable, when Americans whom they've never seen, strike up a conversation.
Imagine being so mal-asjusted a government initiative is needed to increase saying hello to neighbors. Tragic! 😂
Swedes do small talk, but not usually not much with strangers. We don't want to bother or force ourselves on others and make them feel forced to talk to us as we generally highly respect people's privacy.
Plus, bragging and oversharing is kind of frowned upon in Sweden
@@ucube33what is considered oversharing in Sweden? There is an older cashier at one of my regular supermarkets who has told me she is divorced; about the beautiful cactuses and succulents they had in planters over a railing over the living room which were, unfortunately, all killed by something an exterminator sprayed and, being divorced and working as a cashier, she cannot afford to buy need plants. There are weeks when I know what she is eating on the weekend or how long she had been sick. To some, that is oversharing. To me, she is a real person with a whole 3D life and I am fascinated to hear people's stories and I hope it makes their day better having someone listen.
@@sarahrosen4985That's too much, yes. It's hard to give a clear exemple, but Americans love yapping about themselves and what they have going on to people that did not ask them, to me they just seem full of themselves, everyone has problems in their day to day life.
@@ucube33Is it really being full of themselves if they expect you to have the spotlight as well while giving you the same amount of attention they asked of you?
@@EspeonMistress00 they usually don't do that
If only the UK knew about the Viking's weakness.
".... how 'about this weather eh?"
Scandinavians: RETREAT!!!!!
"Snow and rain ja it happens every year"
If only there was a U.K. when the Vikings were raided,stealing property and people. They would have had an army to fight them.😂
In Sweden we have a tale about our neighbours in the east.
A man returns to Finland after migrating to the United States having been gone a decade or so. He knocks on his brother's door and his brother lets him in. The man's brother pours them each a glass of Vodka and they drink, the brother pours another glass of vodka and they drink. Then after the brother has poured him a third glass of vodka the emigree asks his brother: "So, how is our mother?" The brother irritatedly responds: "Did you come to talk or to drink?"
"Ska vi suupa eller ska vi praata?!"
Puhutaanko me vai juodaanko?
Another cultural difference to look at is Yes culture vs No culture.
Japan has yes culture. In their social interactions, one usually tries to find a way to let the other person agree with you, and disagreement is avoided. Putting someone in a position where they have to object or say no it's considered extremely impolite. This is true to a lesser extent in some levels of British culture as well.
In No culture, the opposite is true. People are assumed able to define their own like and dislikes, so you have to say No to stop people from encroaching on your boundaries. Mediterranean and Middle Eastern cultures exhibit this to some extent.
Great idea!
Does this concept go by another name? Googling "yes culture vs no culture", and derivatives of that doesn't give me any results. I really want to read more about this since this just opened a mental door for me!
It's like the New York subway, everyone just wants to get to work or go home.
As the latin phrase says: "aut tace aut loquere meliora silentio" (speak only when your words outperform silence).
The ancient Arabic proverb "speech is silver, silence is golden" is also considered a classic swedish proverb in it's swedish form "att tala är silver, att tiga är guld".
Back in school, one of the swedish idioms that I best remember, and our teacher often used(as finnish, swedish is mandatory in schools) was "tomma tunnor skramlar mest".
"empty barrels make the most noise".
Swedes hate small talk? Bah. Finns hate talk.
If you think Swedes hate small talk, welcome to Finland. You will immediately change your mind.
As a Finn I get anxiety when going to Sweden since they do more small talk as we do in Finland...
Is that why Finns drink so much, it's the only way they get chatty?
I'm an American who prefers the Scandanavian and Dutch approach to communication. Say something if there's something you need to communicate, but don't, in an elevator, asking me how it's going and accept nothing other than "good and you," at which point the initiator is socially obligated to also say good. Communication is fine, but the whole game of never-say-nothing-with-vibrating-throats just to decorate the air with meaningless soundwaves is dumb. Also, it's a little unnerving because I can't really tell when I'm supposed to be normal and give actual honest answers and when I'm supposed to play the game.
Sometimes they switch it up on you. They say "how's it going?" you respond with "hi," understanding that the question was actually just a greeting. Then they say "so is that good?" and you're like "God d@mmit, now you switch it up on me. If I'm supposed to take it as a greeting but also answer it like a question, I'm dumbfounded." This is exponentially harder if you're on mushrooms and with someone who declares himself a "trip sitter" and won't let you walk away.
Well that escalated quickly 👀
We do have small talk in Sweden, but practically never with strangers and 95% of the time, if its more than a hello, its about the weather.
Hello isn't small talk that's micro talk
Europeans in general don't make nearly as much small talk to strangers. The primary reason for this, is the US has long had a transient culture, where people try & make friends at least on the surface, as soon as possible, because otherwise, they'd be too vulnerable to the many dangers in the new unknown, spreadout land. A person is more likely to lookout for you or otherwise help you, if they've made smalltalk with you, or even just nodded in acknowledgment or waved.
If Europeans think of this, maybe they wouldn't feel so uncomfortable, when Americans whom they've never seen, strike up a conversation.
It depends very much on the area. On the whole England is a coconut country, but in the north of England, especially in Northumberland people are extremely chatty. I was once with some friends looking at a map of the metro station in Newcastle, and all the way from across the other platform a friendly man called out to ask if we needed help. It's also the only place I've been to where strangers will give you a cheeky wink as you're walking past them.
I come from a place where small talk is virtually mandatory (Hawaii). As a gruff introverted guy I was once brought into the office for a talking to by the boss because I would acknowledge people small talking at me with a grunt and a nod and going back to what I was doing instead of talking to them. I kind of wonder where my homeland is. A place where you use body language and the absolute minimum of words to get the point across instead of clucking and crowing about like chickens all the live long day.
I like it. Love when strangers beside me talk to me on a train or in a movie theatre to ask my opinion, or when my college professors just talk to me about everyday life. makes me happy. Makes me smile.
Is that sarcasm? Or do you really like that? Sounds horrible to me 😅
Strangers talking to you in movie theatres during the movie for any other reason than to ask to pass by you, should be outlawed. Please don't speak during the movie, especially not to strangers trying to enjoy the movie!
@@Call-me-Al I meant about b4 and after the movie.
@Call-me-Al for the example I used it was an old man who told me not to worried if he gets too scared during the alien covenant movie
@@hollowkid97 okay that's adorable
There's a line in the country separating norrland (Northland, the northern 60%) from the rest of sweden. People from norrland, called norrlänningar, northlanders, are stereotyped as hillbillys by the south but still well respected, just different.
Northlanders are very friendly but they're not into this false niceness type of lackluster conversation. Genuine niceness in small talk is well recieved, but the type of small talk that's just filling the air with sound is met with a disdain of the type "I see what you're doing, stop embarassing yourself ffs" attitude.
German here: no, I hate smalltalk. Just get to the point
Reed are good, while I like grass, it’s not green enough. Anyways, how about I don’t.
Looking forward to seeing this one! As I’m a Swede that loves small talk and will take any chance to engage in small talk 😂
Where were you when I was in Sweden!!?
@@RockiesSwedenThey were standing super close to you at the bus stop, only 3 meters away. But you didn't pick up on the invitation to small talk.
@@lakrids-pibe The other social cue is the eye contact that lasts over one second. You nod quickly with lips ticked into the mouth a little smile. If the eye contact doesn't stop there, you may engage in a short conversation. Nature is amazing 😅
its a generalization that could also be applied to us other Nordics, my fathers side of the family is very open and eager to talk, BUT that is almost always in relaxed social circumstances where they know most of those they are talking to already and the "talk" is often a bit more focused than what I would call small talk.
Icelanders don't agree in my experience, they were so curious about everything me. They were friendlier than Germans, Brits, and even New Yorkers! They were practically like Italians or Mexicans.
@@Warriorcats64 sounds true enough from what I have heard, the exception that proves the rule maybe?
I'm Greek but I 100% identify with the Swedes on this part.
As a swede this is something I like about Americans. They're way more talkative and open.
This is also true for games I've noticed. If you join a European server hardly ever do you hear someone use voice chat. If you join an American server there's always at least 2-3 guys using voice chat.
Hello from Denmark.
I have the impression the other Nordic countries think of us as the "crazy italians" of the region - and it's not a compliment! Haha!
But danish culture is pretty far on the coconut side of the spectrum in my opinion.
I really don't want to impose on people and bother them with the incredibly boring details of my life. It's much more polite to leave people alone and give them space.
But that approach feels cold and super rude from the perspective of a peach person. It seems like I don't LIKE them, like it's something personal about them.
If you're a foreigner/refugee/minority from a peach culture in a country full of coconuts, it probably feels like constant rejection and exclusion.
every sentence ends with euuh
In Norway, if you have a bad day and someone asks you how you are, you either stand confused and wonder why a stranger wants to know how you are or if you know them you might tell them that you're having a bad day and then go on why it's a bad day. There's no reason for prolonging the talk by waiting for the other person to ask why it's a bad day as that would be the next expected question, you wouldn't say that you have a good day just to be polite.
While you may think you could "lie" about your day to protect the convo and not appear impolite, it would be considered more impolite if they find out at a later point that you weren't honest. Even if they don't find out, you would feel uncomfortable about the conversation in whole because it contains lies. After weighing these pros and cons, you understand why it's not that common to ask this question to a stranger.
I love the coconut peach analogy, I'd never heard that one before! Great video
As an autistic person I highly relate to Swedish people hating it. It makes me anxious and mad, I'm bad at it but am a good actress. I do everything to avoid it even if people find me weird and/or rude.
Same, they should really stop seeing people who just don't like talking as bad, like it doesn't even affect them in anything to not talk about this pointless stuff, however we do get really exhausted from this unnecessary social interaction, especially if it's with strangers.
Swede here, actually brought up in Luleå! From my experience, the farther north and inland you get, the less small talk.
When I visited Nashville I wound up in a 20 minute conversation with a random guy, all from stepping into an elevator and him asking "what floor?". Would NEVER have happened inside the borders of Sweden.
Did you enjoy the elevator conversation?
@@sarahrosen4985 yeah, I did!
👏👏👏👏@@antongustafsson402
I was going out with a Dane when I lived there and he had to tell me to stop waving at people when we were going out for a walk & he was one of the more sociable ones
Waving at strangers sounds really unhinged, yes. Where are you from? What's the point of targetting strangers like that?
To elaborate, I'm Swedish and I wouldn't think waving at acquaintances or actual friends is weird. Just waving at strangers for no reason is confusing.
I agree. Waving at random strangers sounds really weird. And I'm American. Small talk (gag gag) is a big thing here.
Europeans in general don't make nearly as much small talk to strangers. The primary reason for this, is the US has long had a transient culture, where people try & make friends at least on the surface, as soon as possible, because otherwise, they'd be too vulnerable to the many dangers in the new unknown, spreadout land. A person is more likely to lookout for you or otherwise help you, if they've made smalltalk with you, or even just nodded in acknowledgment or waved.
If Europeans think of this, maybe they wouldn't feel so uncomfortable, when Americans whom they've never seen, strike up a conversation.
@@Call-me-AlI dunno, I say hello and wave to my neighbors even if we don't chat much. I think it's nice to make someone's day a bit brighter even if the conversation isn't that deep.
Finland is worse than Sweden for not liking small talk. The Finnish language does not even have a word for small talk.
I’m Swedish, and I break the stereotypical norm. I seek contact with people. Especially clerks in shops. Poor people 😂 No, I have frequented some good people for being a ”stammis” (frequent visitor) and we can talk about stuff beyond just a ”Hi”.
as a swede i see no use with asking "whats the weather today" just look outside and when strangers say hi to me i just get uncomfortable or stressed and i dont know my neighbors so well or at all so it doesnt help
It's like "Shit, do I know this perso? Why can't I remember them". Stress ensues lol.
I don't do small talk, but I do enjoy deeper conversations. And I do make exceptions for elderly ladies at the super market looking for someone to talk to for the day, we are not completely heartless XD
I thought it was the Finns. At least that's what we Finns have been taught. Instead, it has been said that Swedes small talk so much that it annoys even English speakers. But maybe there are just different opinions and different experiences about this. It would at least clarify why we are taught this way in Finland.
Obviously you haven't been to Finland. Swedes are smooth schmoozers by comparison.
As an unsocial hermit, I can confirm, I don't like to engage in small talk with strangers. Although I am both introverted and autistic, so.. go figure.
What would be a nice topic for a video: If people (nations) love to complain.
When something is good in Germany, you could hear something like: "There is nothing to complain."
So a country without a lot of people that doesn't talk to each other ... sounds like a great place.
Norway too hates small talk and the prace you gave Sweden also aplies to Norway. So hearing you talk about how special and great Sweden is without even mentioning Norway physicaly hurt. 🇧🇻
You know how it is, we're too irresistible to mention because half the planet keeps confusing us with Switzerland. Same as australia & austria.
You two need to stop all this small talk
@@langreeves6419 Nä
@Call-me-Al so the reports aren't true! The Swedes and Norwegians do like small talk.
@@langreeves6419 Eh, nä. It just happens sometimes.
Scandinavians*
Yes, I'd heard that it was the Finns who hated small talk!
I'd also heard the Russians don't trust people who smile!
I'll bet both are true for a percentage of the population, but not true for others.
(I'm from UK like Patrick)
*People living more east than Germany
2:29 all those "good topics" are horribly boring. (With the possible exception of hobbies if it's a fellow autistic person, but neurotypicals would hate actually talking about my hobbies). I have no opinions about any of those, and someone else's opinion on the weather tells me nothing about them.
Well, it tells me that they're probably neurotypical (or masking) so unless it's a very obvious pointless scripted conversation (masking) it only tells me we probably won't get along and the fact that they insist on terminally boring topics means I will never get to talk about anything interesting with them.
😅
In fact politics, religion, sex, death, and especially "narrow topics" is the most interesting things in those lists. Who cares if you disagree, at least that tells me something.
Btw, the premise of this video is unfortunately false. Swedes and other Nordic people too, might not small talk with strangers in public for no reason; but neurotypical Nordic people do small talk in social settings like parties and meetings etc. and the ports, food, travel, the weather and general complaining (since we generally complain about the weather) is popular topics. And I hate it... I never know what to answer because I don't have any opinions about it and I forget to ask back because once I have managed to make up some stupid answer to their small talk "interrogation" questions I'm tired and the last thing I want it to hear their opinion on some inane topic.
Yeah I also don't understand what's the point of talking about things that won't get anywhere. I mostly enjoy talking about more personal stuff or common interests (or even complaining about things we both don't like) but most people either don't have the same interests as me or I just don't like them/don't want to talk to them.
In general when talking I always have to avoid oversharing about something personal that has barely anything to do with the main topic lol
Here in sweden (in my experience and as a swede), you do small talk with already established friends. You do not start small talk with strangers, if you start talking with a stranger you have a reason, you do not start a small talk if you do not know that person. I cannot do small talk even with family, I can talk with family for hours but it is more catching up mixed with "small talk". Why would I start small talk with a stranger, why would I start a cold conversation with a stranger. I can do really small talk with like a cashier but it wouldn't really be classified as "real" small talk because the reason it started was because I was shopping a lot alone so it became an awkward silence because a freaking peach was before me.
How do you make friends without small talk and strangers?
This is so weird. Well-adjusted humans do not describe interactions with friends & relatives as small talk! Small talk applies to strangers, casual acquaintances, maybe coworkers.
I have a genuine question. I might be going to Sweden this year in either May or August depending on my schedule because my mom got this flight as a gift; it'll also either be Malmö or Stockholm based when I go. If I were to venture out myself, are there places where I COULD meet with strangers willing to meet other strangers and attempt to talk, like a bar or a social gathering or sorts? Or should I give up as a visitor?
Guy from Bremen: "Moin!"
Guy from Hamburg: "Moin, moin!"
Guy from Bremen: "What are you talking so much?"
Canada would be an "orange" country then. We tend to say hello and talk quickly but we also open up easily and talk about the important things quite freely
It's called "dead talk" for a reason.
Swede here. I hate talking, I used to purposefully look a bit annoyed all the time just to make people avoid me and now I'm like that all the time, the only time I really get spoken to outside of my family is when students do projects requiring talking to strangers for w/e reason, or the very rare tourist asking me specifically for direction. After Corona, I always wear a mask out (because I like it) and always with a hoodie so you can only see my eyes and I have music in my ears. I hate people and the thought that someone might talk to me Is kind of scary in a sense.
Var hälsad!
I think our collective ability to small talk also has roots in Protestantism. While we're one of if not the most Atheistic nation on the planet, we do have a long history with Protestantism which means we're more business and work oriented. For example; when we go outside, it's usually because we want to get from point A to point B as efficiently as possible. Most of us don't usually take a stroll just for the sake of taking a stroll unless we're early and have some time to kill.
The same idea extends to small talk. Why encroach on someone else's business and privacy just to talk about nothing? Especially if they're a stranger, we have no way of truly knowing weather they're up for any sort of casual chatter and we don't particularly have any questions to ask people we know nothing about. Especially in cities like Stockholm, we might at most merely say hi to a neighbor or acquaintance when we encounter them while leaving the house but that's about it.
Small talk is a big waste of time. It might be why Swedes usually get a lot more done.
but why do we need small talk. like i don't want to talk to someone without pursuing some goal, it just feels like i am waisting time i could use for something else. but then when i want to talk about something i don't just want to say shallow things as why would i want to talk to begin with when i don'T want to discuss something. thats my thoughts coming from a non smalltalk country
Super THANKS!
Same goes in Finland
staying quiet is more common
old people tend to be a little more eager to chatter.
I personally like engaging in "medium" talk (I wouldn't call discussing life experiences or regional infrastructure that small) with strangers who happen to be in the same waiting room if they start the conversation.
It's funny because I feel like I fully revert to American mode whenever a stranger initiates a conversation, especially if they're also American. But I never initiate conversations anymore, having lived in Germany for like 7 months now
We love talking about the weather
BRB, packing my bags and moving to Sweden.
Have an old American friend, who went to visit relatives in Sweden in the early '80's. He sad, that they they said fewer words, than the 14 days, he was there.
A an expat living in the Philippines, i do have many American friends and had force me to learn "meaningless small talk about nothing" but i dont like it ..Australians are more direct on point and are my favorites when it comes to small talk=)
In Norway attempting small talk with strangers is frowned upon and will, in the worst case, result in the police being called.
You got the area wrong, it's ~ 173,000 square miles, not 1,700, so you're off by two orders of magnitude.
Great!
I live in Seattle, also not big on small talk, and people say that's because a lot of people from the Nordic countries settled here. I don't know how true that is, but it's a complete relief to me that I don't have to chat with every random person I come across.
I always find it funny how not doing smalltalk and being introverted (not that it is the same, but there sure is a big overlap), is almost always framed as something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Some people just like communicating that way!
Let's spend more time educating extraverts that not everyone is like them, and that it can be nice if they are just quiet every now and then :-)
I guess I’m a rock, hard on the outside and hard on the inside!
I live for four weeks now in Luleå as an international student and until now I have not noticed random people saying hello to each other.
I’m American and I don’t like talking small. I found it refreshing in many visits to Sweden that they kept to themselves and didn’t chat up strangers. Also, dammsugare, get some it’s delicious
I've been to Stockholm and never noticed an aversion to small talk...
maybe Stockholm changed because it's a center of immigration and tourism
With me, the coconut/peach divide (mind if I call it that?) can be a case of who the other person is, not to mention how I'm feeling on a given day and/or the exact situation. But I'll certainly bear this in mind if I ever go to Sweden (one of the European countries I'd really love to see).
Speak in English and many if not most people will be happy to talk with you, as long as they're not busy or hurrying somewhere. This is like in bigger cities, I don't know what people at rural places would be like.
Your analogy with food is pretty spot on. Small talk is the appetizer. So it should be small. You don't have a whole-ass pizza or an endless parade of tapas as an entree or you'll be stuffed before you get to the main course.
Well, this varies _a lot_ depending on where in Sweden you are, and small talk with strangers is more common in more sparsely populated areas. In a city you're more socially cut off, but in small towns and the countryside it's not unusual to exchange a few words with strangers, take a moment to talk to your neighbor or someone you just know indirectly, say hello to strangers you meet outside, wave or nod a little thanks to the driver when you step off the bus, etc.
But focusing on small talk is a bit too zoomed-in. The main thing, to me, is that Swedes form relatively small (but not necessarily less tight-knit) communities, and that strangers don't easily become friends simply because they live or work near one another. It's not that small talk isn't a thing, because it definitely is; it's just that it isn't as common in an area that has cultivated its own brand of individualism for centuries.
We've had other, often formalized ways of coming together, such as an abundance of various forms of non-profit organisations for all kinds of purposes. But this has been fading away for some time now. Social and political shifts in recent decades have pulled us further apart. This worries me.
I found it strange that foreigners say that Swedes hates eye-contact and small talk. I never understand exactly what people mean by small talk as I assume it's just small discussion which we all do. The most common topic is the weather.
However smalltalk is one of the common recommended search on Google when you type in "how to..." and "what is..." in Swedish.
I have always problem with getting new friends and have trust issues from living in a troublesome neighborhood so I though it was just me who's very shy and have difficulties of communicating with strangers. It's hard for me to know what people really think of me as I had already been a target by manipulating bigoted narcissistic peers who love causing drama. There was so many reckless childhood peers who are harassing and judging me for everything I do although they do this for everyone including their own "friends".
I asked everyone close to me for advice to start to know new people and they often reply that we usually don't talk to strangers just randomly out of nowhere unless necessary. It feels kinda forceful and rude. People talking to one another is often assumed to already know each other.
As for the eye-contact thing, it really depends on the context. I was told that it's always important to have eye-contact with those you are communicating to, about to communicate or show interest. However people do find it creepy when some random person stare at you too long for no reason so you get a suspicious and unsure expression back wondering if there's something wrong.
The worst of all is when americans start a conversation with "How are you?!?"
That is almost unbearable.
So americans, if you ever get to visit a scandinavian country, do NOT start a conversation with "how-are-you"!
Regarding the North vs. South difference in the US, I can attest to that. When I was working as a call center agent, I noticed that those from the Bible Belt/Southern states (TN, AL, TX, NC, SC, GA) would always tend to start with a small talk, and the older ones would be a little chattier and will tell you some back story that’s not very relevant to the issue. People from the Northeast like NY and MA on the other hand tend to go straight to the issue and would prefer the conversation to be quick, or at least have a clear cut direction (can this be resolved or needs to be escalated, no in between).
I'm Scandinavian.
People small talk a lot here.
As a Swede, I would rather rest of the world would stop babbling unnecessary stuff and focus on whats important.. If I have/want to say something, then I want to know/hear the answer.
I mean, whats the point of saying something that you really don't want/need to say/hear.
This is mostly a stereotype stemming from the younger generations in Stockholm and a few of the other bigger cities. In the rural half of Sweden, this is far from the truth.
It is not just Sweden but Scandinavia as a whole
We have unfavourable nicknames for small talk here in the UK!
Can't be arsed to look them up though. ;-)
(Some of them have a hint of misogyny - women chatting about nonsense like family and relationships, while men discuss the important stuff like football 😀).
When I lived in Sweden, I noticed the cold, no-small talk a lot less than the internet would make you believe.
I have been to Sweden last year, lovely country. I haven't really talked to Swedes because we were camping most of the time. Jag har också lärt mig svenska, det är det vackraste språket att jag at känner! Apologies if that wasn't correct, my Swedish isn't that good after all.
❤❤❤❤
😊
Swede we do actually engage in small talk we just don't do it with strangers on the street. When often reserve our small talk to when we meet new people at events or new places. You can think of it like we want our private space so don't talk with us in public but when at an party or an event then we are more than happy to do small talk. We also use a question to start small talk. Like i was traveling by train and needed to ask a old lady if I was on the right one and after that we talked for a bit
Of course we make small talk.
When we fikar.
And we fikar so often that we have no more time to spend on small talk.
For most of the video I thought you meant to say Finland instead of Sweden. But in the end there was a mention of Finland so I was fine. :) I didn't know that our neighbours were like that too. Maybe we just don't communicate...
On the other hand, the Nords of Skyrim will repeatedly tell you their life story if you just happen to be nearby. You don't even have to be looking at them.
If we reform the Dawnguard irl, we'll break our silence, this I swear.
People in rural areas in Sweden were used to know people in the area where they lived. Who was related to who and who could help you with something. The ones who moved in adjusted to the local culture. That occured until very recently.
But when industrialization took place, people moved to the city and became distant from each other. Likewise people moved out. Demographics had changed and so closeness.
In the 60s there also was an influx of immigrants and perhaps that changed things.
This is def a factor, in the north excluding the big cities like Umeå etc, even other Swedes will react that there is little small talk being made.
I'm a coconut in a peach world.
Me too, Sweden
I've heard about this being an issue in Germany too, and a lot of Europe as well. At least compared to the United States
You have to also take into account that people of the US are very big on small talk, to an extreme.
As an American who is very extroverted, I love to talk, small or big. Lol. I also am a very good listener. I will talk to a complete stranger. I am one of those people who believes that a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet. 😅
It's definitely a survival skill in American culture. I forced myself to learn it by making small purchase at a gas station and trying it small talk if the cashier looked bored. Took me a while to get the hang of it, but it's helped me immensely
When you say you're a good listener, I presume what you have in mind is that you love to elaborate on any topic the other person has mentioned.
Sounds like heaven
It's the weather. Stood waiting for the bus in Karlskrona in -18 c, small talk or any kind of talking is the last thing I want. Also I just worked in Sweeden, I'm not sweedish but I hate small talk. Only talk if you have something useful to say.
An additional video about Spartans is needed. Spartans are famous for talking as less as possible.
I'm with you, Sweden, f*ck small talk! 😁
Isnt the Christian rock band *Jerusalem* from Sweeden?
My only exposure to Swedish culture is Swedish-American culture. My wife is Minnesotan and comes from an area that is predominantly Swedish. This take on Swedish culture is the polar opposite of my experience with Swedish-Americans there, and they see themselves as very Swedish culturally. Their town was basically founded by Swedish immigrants who all came over from the same region of Sweden. The culture there places a high value on small talk, and conversations can meander on forever before anyone ever gets to the point. It’s to the point where privately, everyone will admit that it’s pointless and annoying but no one wants to stop for fear of being rude. I had always thought this was a part of Swedish culture. Maybe this is an overcompensation of people who had to adapt to small talk as a norm. Either way, the way you describe Swedish culture around small talk is nothing like what I experienced in those Swedish American communities.
Consider also that there was probably some variation among the people living in Sweden in the past, and since the migration was voluntary there was probably some over-representation of extraversion among those who picked up sticks and settled in the USA instead. Whether that trait is nature or nurture (genetics or cultural) is uncertain (I'm guessing a bit of both), but in both cases they'll mostly be passed down through the generations. With fewer introverts around to keep the extraverts in check, the Swedish-American community probably coalesced around a more uniformly extraverted communication style.
Let me add that small talk is common, but limited. Like with a cashier or something similar I always small talk, but keep it short and sweet. Also obviously friends and work acquaintances do a lot of small talk, although from an outsider it might seem like we don't. Hell I even small talk a bit on the bus and whatnot. But if it's someone from a small talk-heavy culture, or the rarely seen small talk-loving Swede I'm noping the fuck out.
The swedes are my people, destination acquired.
I think Japan is more coconuts than peaches.