DECENTERING MEN THE SERIES: EPISODE 1
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
- In today's video,
I start a series on my channel "Decentering men the series".
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“It’s not about hating them. It’s just, they’re not the focus of my life, I’m the focus of my life, ME. The real me, not the me that they find attractive. The me that matters.” 💯🔥🙏🏼✨✨✨
sheesh!!!!!
The me that matters ❤
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
❤❤❤❤❤
💚🪶🙌🏾
An associate asked about a man I purged from my life a few years ago. I told her that I don’t speak about him or relationships anymore. Told her, I travel, have hobbies and so many positive experiences to talk about. She replied, “but I want to talk about relationships. She also said, we are woman, so it’s natural for us to talk about relationships.” Moral of the story is, you will get push back from women who don’t want to broaden the scope of their communication with you.
They're definitely not for you to be around.
✂️ em off
Same. I’ve got a friend who literally tries to talk bout her baby daddy. To where I had to explain to her we already know what time he on( bs time) and I’m
Not doing any readings on him for her. And that I don’t wanna talk bout the baby daddy drama.
It’s too damn much. Especially me being 27 no kids I can’t relate but I’m not gonna bash him all day. I told her focus on baby and goals/hobbies. She’s 4 years younger and she’s has the ideology that once a new guy walks in to her life that he’ll try to run back . I told her that shouldn’t be her focus .
I’m at a point where I can be out and about and I REJECT MEN DAILY. To where they get so mad and can’t believe I’d reject them. Tbh I’m slightly repulsed by bm now cause it’s always the same bs. So I let them know upfront we can be ACTUAL FRIENDS but I will not date/screw you. Not my type. ( the push back I get until I say it out loud I’m a swirler.) Like I don’t want them and have always been this way. If they can’t bring nun to me outside of seggs ( I need someone who has peace stability and integrity ) cause I provide myself that . If they don’t have that, I don’t want them. The ones who offer only seggs usually are chaotic and I clock em immediately. The ones who immediately ask “ you smoke/drink” or offer “ body massage” 😬 horndogs and predatory . I like being by myself it helps me focus. Like I’m purging friendships who aren’t in alignment.
So I’m with yannie and genz is getting on this time
Update:we don’t speak anymore and I’m making plans to move out of my current state for more dating variety
@@naiya.nicole__*massages ❤
“We already know what time he’s on, BS time” lol! I love this.😂
No kids and no man is like a life hack! No stress and all finances spent on me.
Right! My life is mine!!❤❤❤
Please discuss the down side as well . There’s pros and cons to all of it.
@@lelo46 she's not going to more than likely smh.
@@lelo46 what is left to explain? Downside only an individual can determine this for themselves! F them kids! Seems to be self explanatory! 🤷🏽♀️
Amen! The best life ever
Women worldwide would have accomplished WAYYY more if they focused on themselves.
My daddy told me to be selfish and focus on myself. I didn’t listen at first but ever since I decided to take his advice I’ve been THRIVING!!!!! I’m rich, gorgeous and unbothered!
Most delusional thing i heard all day 😅
FACTS! The dis service to ourselves is, we often figure this out later in life, instead of in our youth (20's).
If young women accept and apply this self focus early, they will GREATLY benefit.
@@coreythomas3633 you wish it were delusional but the truth sounds delusional to delusional people! Stop projecting! ✌🏾
@@myshanamakisi6063 absolutely!
Ladies, it's time to focus on building friendships, building wealth, buying a home or finding the right apartment that adds to your peace, traveling, focusing on your hobbies, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, working out and planning for the future.
Well said!!
🔥👏🏽
Most importantly doing for one's OWN happiness and improvement of quality of life, not because it makes you more attractive to others. A lot of people do the things listed just to appeal to other people, rather than for the merit of it improving their own life (not saying that was what you meant, it's just something I've seen people do in general). Decentering others allows one to center self 😊
All of that.
@@StelmariaonE7 Go into the comment section of a video where they're talking about educated, high-earning BW not wanting to date and marry bus drivers. List all the things I listed and BM will dog you out. They'll tell you you're selfish and you don't want to build with a BM and that men aren't interested in women who are so focused on themselves.
Everything I listed is for a BW to focus on QUIETLY, to bring peace and contentment And I've been doing these for years - before there was even a internet. They are not things to brag about. Women of all races and ethnicities do these things every day. It's the BM who have a poverty mentality who think doing and having these things are a flex.
Literally, everything you are talking about, I BEEN feeling for the last few years. I’m so sick and tired of the rhetoric behind men and dying alone. Idk who needs to hear this, but whether you are partnered or not at the time of your death… you still will be dying alone. Everyone dies alone so that never should have been considered a threat.
True!!!!
This is a Golden comment!😊💯
Exactly!!!!!
They act like we can take a man hand on our death bed and say, “die with me baby!” 🥴 and we all know that most of they weak a%* ain’t about to say I’m coming with you. 😂 They’ll bury you on Saturday, be at the Social Security building on Monday, and at the bar by Wednesday picking up the next chick in a new shiny mid-life crisis car! 😂
💯💯
6 months ago I started my Decentering Men Journey. That was the last time I allowed a man to manipulate and disrespect me. I feel so much better not worrying about a mans needs and feelings. That lifestyle to please men will stress you and age you in the face. Men are unnecessary risks. I love being single and childfree, makes my days easier. I value being alone now. I feel so bad for women wearing mask to please MEN. SMH
Ladies, you can talk about broadway shows, movies, vacays, current events around the world, new restaurants, concerts, books, investments, learn a new language, new recipes (I know that’s house wifey but you can do dinner parties with friends and family), makeup (if you’re girly btw Yanie love the look), fashion, sports (if you like genuinely watch because you like it), and career moves with your friends.
Develop you personality please you might just learn to like yourself.
Facts! There so much things to talk about. Literally i have a few married friends and all they talk about is marriage and who is getting married and what another person is up too.. genuinely I do not care. I need to politely derail the convo sometimes. Also dont ask me after not seeing me for a while if im talking to anyone. -_-
“Develop your personality”👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽that is a great one. Cut a girl off for this exact thing. She only wanted to talk about her dude and gossip. She had to go. No personality at all.
Exactly 💯 they can talk about hobbies lol
And don't forget giving back! There are so many great causes to get behind. We are all standing on the shoulders of those who came before. It feels so good to pay it forward.
@@tcg1972 I love the Give-Back point.
I am so glad we are moving on because I’m tired of talking about BM in every conversation. At my big age I don’t date problematic men anymore. I want to talk about my healing and successes and how other women won and healed and are thriving. Thanks Yani
that part, i’m in a happy relationship but i just want to hear about positive content for black women, don’t care to hear about bm really at all. not my business, nothing to do with me. i’m rooting for black women!🤷🏾♀️
I know women (grown women over 35) who literally every move they make is for male attention, male acceptance and male validation. The way they dress, act, talk is all driven by their need to be acknowledged by men. And as someone who has been in a long-term relationship and can’t think of anything I did special to get into it, I just don’t understand. 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
Exactly. And the reality is none of it matters. There is always some new ass for them to look at, lust after or chase. Who cares at this point?🤷🏽♀️
I have a friend like that. She has not made decisions because of what a POTENTIAL man (not even one she has yet) might think. Exhausting and sad!
I agree. I love living alone, its very peaceful. Even when i do get into relationships, i never move in with the guy because i need my own space to recharge. & the mere thought of cooking/cleaning up after a man everyday makes me exhausted! Unless hes very rich, i dont mind living alone forever lol
Girl who you telling?😂 Not I, somebody gotta do it though and hold it down and take one for the team. I support wives. You go Sis!!!!🎉🎉🎉😂💅🏾
FKING SAME!!!!!!!!!!!
Right...after living with my very demanding ex for 10 years, I've never been as happy and as at peace as I am now. I live with my 2 sons and I'm NEVER gonna live with another romantic partner ever again. My current bae can stay at his place and I stay at mine. 😂
I’m in a relationship but I’m 27 with no kids. I plan to invest my money, travel, and enjoy my life before having kids. I enjoy talking to other women and giving them advice on how to invest and save their money and I love getting advice from women who I inspire to be like. Also, I know this may sound “ classist “ but as someone who was homeless before after my mom lost her job in 2008, I believe people shouldn’t have kids until they are financially stable. 🤷🏿♀️
That’s perfectly normal and logical to say. That won’t happen though. Even in third world countries (worse poverty than the U.S.) they have multiple babies with no system or accountability. We have birth certificates to help women here to make the father be accountable.. I think about those abused girls and young women who don’t have that option or chance
I'm classist and I agree lol. Nobody cares about the quality of life for the children, they just know that they want kids 🥲
Good on you! I’d like to suggest looking into freezing you eggs. You never know when everything will line up and in 10 years you could run into issues if you haven’t had kids already.
@@LifeofAkosthis!!! The QUALITY OF LIFE for the child. Treating children like damn toys
I feel the exact same way. I get so sick and tired of women feeling like life is not worth living unless they have a man. I am also sick and tired of hearing them talk constantly about "MEN". Going forward, I'm only making friends with women who are HAPPILY SINGLE and want to STAY that way. A man is NOT the be all that ends all, and women need to know that they have WORTH and so much VALUE and it does not depend on whether you have a man or not. I'm SICK OF IT!
Omg you're videos help me feel less sad about not finding a true good hearted man
It's Aunty Sheila. I WISH you, Mel, Burb, Mel Hamlett and Joules Lo Well would do a collaboration Vid. Get us the Pink Avengers in here and pronto. Love yall!😍
These shorts are crazy cause when im with my friends or sisters i talk about EVERYTHING 😂 from my hair growing to a werid dream i had to food to conspiracy theories we really be into our heads with each other
Yep! Same with my sis and I. We talk about everything!! 😊
I love this! ❤️
For a year now, I haven’t had a desire to be in a relationship. I enjoy my peace in my single season. It’s refreshing to hear you say the same thing. I was starting to think something was wrong with me but now I think something is wrong with the women that make men their whole life. I still talk, flirt, go on dates from time to time with men, but being tired down is not my heart’s desire at this time. I want to stay focused on me and my desires. If a relationship comes naturally, I’ll welcome it in.
you took the thoughts right out of my head and paraphrased it so well. enjoy your journey girl!! I too have been and still am enjoying my singleness 💕🫶🏽
I don't know why women never choose these
Exactly!!!! We all need to be like this!!! It’s healthy!!!
@@Datb2 men don’t like it. They try to shame me haha won’t work
Right I got family who do the most for a man but their family/kids they penny pinch or put on back burner. Itso ludicrous to me when my sister breaks up with a guy and suddenly pops up talking bout “ heyyyy” now I’m showing her I’m not an option when she is single. Consequences. She doesn’t understand how I’m so at peace alone.
Hell my own father keep saying “ oh you need a man to help you”. I said “your projecting, you need women to help you. You’ve never been single always had multiple women to help run your life. We not the same “
You “get” it!!!! New Subscriber here! I am 49 years old, 7 years single & celibate! My ENTIRE youth… was wasted on, “ok, be like this, sex like this, look like this, be quiet, join church, act like this, dress like that, books and rules and patience and prayers and fasting and crying.” AND ULTIMATELY, developing a mental problem of inferiority! Worthlessness! Rejection, Abandonment! OMG! At the tender age of 49, I am currently in therapy undoing the trauma society forced me into.
Young, beautiful, Sister… you “get” it!
Bloom & blossom! Learn and love who YOU are! Who is for you will come when they are supposed to and you will not need to compromise who you are! You “got” it! I’m on board for the series!!!!! 🙌🏽🤩 As women, we all need a younger healthy lady to look up to… It reminds us to not waste another second and to embrace all of LIFE!!!! And a man SHOULD NOT be the measuring point of how that looks to us! 🎉
LOVE your comment! 👍🙏
wow, sounds just like my youth
I realized how I obsessed I was with following dating advice and dating coaches for the last few years and seemed to be getting no where. I’ve started to delete and unfollow all things that focus on men , and my life is so much more peaceful and I’m focused more on what I want.
I started by deleting male CZcamsrs and I did a mass unfollow on insta. So now all I follow is black girl luxury pages watch content from black women about fashion, hair, art, cinema anything else but men. 😂😂
Yep did the same years ago… relationship coaches, books on relationships = EXHAUSTING!!!
Same
Girl fr and now I can’t stand Adrienne Everheart. She literally had me out here embarrassing myself. I watch her and all other dating coach videos in disgust now
Me too
I haven't finished the video yet, but this is why I prefer talking to myself as insane as that sounds 😭😭😭 I have some dope convos by myself
Ah, so I'm not alone. I'm always talking to myself. I reach epiphanies that way.
@@gloryonyeugbo5398 you're definitely not alone sis!
Same!!! I do it anywhere
Same here. I’m my best friend 😊
Me too. I talk to myself out loud but I try to keep it a secret from my family because they'll think somethings wrong with me.
Right now, I’m focused on working out, decorating my home, building my wardrobe, volunteering, being great at my career, networking and having fun with my 3 year old daughter. Life is so much fun when you decenter men. I love my life!
As a gay woman, I really go out to have fun and watch other people have fun. I have 0 expectations when I go out. To know that others don’t think like this, is mind blowing. Men irritate me as a lesbian and I still don’t understand how they take up so much head space in peoples’ mind 😂.
Don't go acting like women are perfect because you're not.
That's the path I'm on right now, decentering men...I haven't had sex or involved myself with men since the start of this year. I go on nature walks alot now. But what annoyed me recently, I was on my daily walk...and this guy stopped me and we talked. We talked about our life and our aspirations... Then he walked me home. He asked to see me at weird times...couple of days ago he asked if I wanted to be "sneaky link" . BOYYYYY BYEEEE I BLOCKED TF OUTTA HIM. THAT WILL BE MY LAST TIME TALKING TO ANY MAN.
Not a sneaky link 😂😂😂😂
It’s almost like they are motivated by something below their waist 😅
Girl, you felt safe letting him know where you lived? Good thing he wasn't dangerous or anything like that and we can't mistrust every man but ...
Maybe I've seen too many true crime🥴 stories
@@tyheildes6210 Sis cause they are. It's always giving low level demonic energy. Majority of them are stuck in lust mode., they lack basic social skills and refuse to heal.
Please don't let strange guys know where you live!!!
I found out from experience that alot of women who center their existence around men have little to zero substance to themselves. They have no emotions or feeling about anything unless talking about
Men. This goes for both single and women have partners. I no longer trauma bond with women over drama or problems men create. Single, married, LTR, my friendship with you will not be based on us sitting around talking about our men all day. I don’t have time for it and it’s tiring and annoying and half of the time the shit y’all be on about isn’t even worth talking about. Some of the stuff y’all tell me y’all should be keeping private between you and your man anyways. I have hobbies, I have dreams, I have ideas, I have interests, I have goals. I love men, I love when men love me, I love love, I love marriage and relationships but some of y’all need to get a life.
That’s the issue a lot of people are glued to their phones and have no hobbies.
Yesss....I know some women who literally that's all they post on social media is "my man, my man, my mannnnn" 🙄🙄🙄🙄
“Getting” / courting / sexing a man is very very very easy. Very simple literally requires no thought. But finding a man of valor with good character and integrity and worthy of a relationship is hard. Standards are getting lower and lower and lower it’s scary. Just wanting a man who doesn’t lie is too much to ask for. & Wanting a man to buy you $20 flowers is too much nowadays. Dating to marry is HELL. I blame misogyny. Men don’t see women as human beings. I am so serious when I say this. They see women as an object to please them. They don’t care what women think or how they feel.
lol... muh misogony.... Chilvalry is dead and WOMEN killed it.... Men are running for the hills. NOthing but land whales and headaches these days and women who think they diserve everything
Yeah I feel you. My first boyfriend who was 15 at the time like me said he liked me because I was cute. But then he kept asking me for nudes when I told him no. I broke up with him. We got back together then he broke up with me because I told him to go f off and watch porn. I get if you'd rather see your girlfriend than porn but now that it's been a year and I'm more wiser if any guy asks you to send nudes especially if you literally met him online and you said no but he keeps pressing on that's harassment because yes your boyfriend can harass you and he doesn't actually love YOU.
@@calistaj2284 you are very smart and wise. That is a blessing at that young age!! Yes, no means no and if they keep begging they’re weird and they don’t respect you. Save yourself the trouble and hit that block button. If a guy is begging for nudes after you tell him no, he is degenerate and doesn’t have control over himself. Definitely not someone you wanna be with.
"There has to be more to life than just getting a man." - Yanie
👏
Content like this is so needed. Like you said, it's not about bashing - it's about working hard to build the lives we want for ourselves and pouring into ourselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be the best version of yourself and it have absolutely nothing to do with someone else.
To be honest a lot of married women are extremely envious of single women. When they see you out having fun not having to worry about men and kids it confuses them. Why do you think so many married men and women are trying to join the dating pool with singles. But they’ll never admit to it EVER 😂
All that shaming they do is projection. I just ignore.
It’s kinda like they cant even comprehend or be aware of the jealousy they just dont like u, or are wary of u…cuz otherwise they gotta admit some stuff to themselves that’s really hard to do!
I love these shorts cause notice how calm and chill the women are. Why?! Because the men in their lives ain’t stressing Them the TF out. They ain’t crying, ain’t complaining, no bitching and yelling. I wish men will see the peace they can create when they simply act properly as men. 🤷🏽♀️😌
I know they're mostly for jokes but tbh all I can ever think is that I hope they genuinely have more to talk about than their boyfriends lol. Career goals, finances, travel, wellness routines, family, shit - literally anything other than just men/boys. 🤣
I felt uncomfortable with the shorts on TikTok..it shows how much power men have over women.
That wasn’t the reason Yanie added those clips, her point was why does the conversation have to be about men? The women were sitting in silence because they weren’t complaining about their men…..they don’t have anything else going on in their lives?
@@tiffyq7794 I get that message, but I was looking at it from another angle. So many different ways to look at it.
That’s what I was thinking
my exhusband told me once we get divorced I was gonna die alone I laughed and told him that's exactly the reason for the divorce so I can get back to me and be alone I was married and felt alone now I can cook whenever I want to or go out by myself the only person I'm responsible for now is myself my sons are grown and are so happy for me they have been amazing they said mom ever since you divorced dad your so much more happy and fun we all hang out and the exhusband cheating narc is so upset cause he didn't break me I'm back to being all about me thanx for this post Yanie 😊❤
My mother recently passed and people would call me concerned about how I was. They would then ask me about men. They want to know who I'm dating, who I'm fucking, who I'm entertaining, and it pissed me off. My morher just died, yet the focus was /is STILL men. Needless to say, I've had to cuss people out and I love the idea of decentering men.
Sorry about your mother beautiful 😢! My condolences to you and your family
Sorry to hear about your loss.
I was a tomboy growing up and the girls used to convince me that I should be waking up and going to sleep thinking about boys 🙄 never have and never will
This is right on time. As someone who has been SA multiple times throughout childhood, I developed thos weird "act right" obsession with males. I became so consumed with adjusdting my behavior around them because I felt like they were always watching me. I have this crush on a guy at work thag does not like me the same and is actually not into the type of women like me. And tbh he's not the level of man I should be into. He does however, breadcrumb me. And finally I asked God sincerely to help me with this. I'm tired of being head over heels for males. They have caused me a lifetime of pain. God I'm ready to be myself regardless if a guy thinks I'm weird or attractive.
I have been in the idgaf stage of life for decades now. I refuse to conform and have someone tell me how I should live MY life !! Freedom is a beautiful thing. Best of luck to anyome who is on that journey ❤❤
I am ssoooo glad there are women who share these thoughts..because when I try to express this...I was asked was it because I didn't have a MAN? 🤦🏾♀️
This is a good series. I think many women need to work on depth, really vibrant hobbies, and giving back
Women that center men are imo some of the worst type of women to be around
I’ll be turning 20 in two weeks I’ve had my experiences with men and I don’t care about being single anymore if anything I feel free !
I love hearing this you are still so young and have so many beautiful things to experience. They will rob you of your joy and try to ruin you. Don't let it happen. I didn't. Live your life sweetheart. ❤️
I agree. What happens after marriage and kids? There is more to life than that. Less stress, freeing. Now the smile is real. It is exhausting to chase after relationships. Be free ladies. Love yourself.
Here for it. I agree with Tracee Ellis Ross saying she wants a relationship with a man who adds value to her already wonderful life.
No point in carrying "dead weight" in a man who doesn't add value.
Yes, this series is so much needed. I just told this guy in my inbox yesterday. Why he think a woman’s ultimate goal is to be a wife???? it’s so weird.
Not to make this about men, but I just have to put this observation out about my own experience. Once I had the aura of not centering men in my life, I found myself attracting more men ironically. I think women who exude a sense of free will and being happy with just themselves, are really the most desired. But we don't do it for that purpose of course. Being man free in this day and time is actually a blessing.
Ive noticed the same. Its a bit of a paradox, now isn’t it?!
I just cut ✂️ all my hair off.😅 Finally. After thinking about doing it for years! How y'all doin! 💅🏿😌🍵
Women make men the center of their worlds and men become more selfish. To me, this series is Genius and makes perfect sense.
Recovering people pleaser here. Thank you Yanie for this. IT IS SO NECESSARY❤
Yanie as a man I love your content and it has been motivating. I am on this journey of finding myself I can relate a lot. I am at a point in my life where all I want is happiness, peace and serenity. I want to meet new people and travel the world. The thought of being able to see different parts of the world brings joy in my heart. I just got back from working on a cruise ship where we went to all of the Hawaiian Islands. It was a shock to see how many people on the ship were more so worried about sleeping together or being in a relationship than enjoying the islands. I was excited to meet someone until I realized you are in Hawaii, the amount of creativity and spirituality you can gain from this experience is endless. I believe continuing this path will allow me to walk into my true calling and career. It may be unconventional but I don't care any more. I want to get to a point where all that matters is my opinion and my happiness. On this journey if I find love cool but if I don't then that's okay too. I too want to walk away from social media and all these toxic blogs. Still learning how to listen to my gut and walking by faith, and healing to be happy for me and no one else.
And I don't mean to come into women's spaces, I just love the energy here and feel I have learned so much over time.
Great comment.
I miss having friends that don’t center their life around men too. I miss the cafe trips, shop, talk makeup, fitness and so much more. I feel u on this heavy❤
Youre right girl. I need to stop worying and lamenting about being alone, about not having *my* tribe, *my* man, *my* friends, *my* family. Ita exhausting and it's demoralizing to be 100% candid with you. I need to learn to accept that if i dont have those things, its not because something is wrong with me but rather the fact that im not meant to have them or that im too unique to be understood by most people. Maybe being surrounded by people would just be a distraction from my purpose or the things that need fixing in my life. Either way, the things that are meant for me shouldn't be that hard to get so I'm letting everything go and may what's meant to be be.
I just left brunch with a female friend and we didn’t talk about men at all. Not once. She is engaged and I am ending my relationship and I am moving out when the lease ends in a month. It’s so possibly to do this. You just need to cultivate a life and personality that’s separate from men.
I started to tear up when you talked about ancestors and being the first in your bloodline being able to do this. So true, liberation within the system is very difficult but this is definitely part of it.
I’m finally at this place in my life at 48. I have been in 2 jacked up marriages and now I’m free and I truly enjoy being by myself!! I wish I would of experience this years ago….
“This isn’t coming from a place of hurt, trauma. This is coming from a place of PEACE & HAPPINESS.” That’s exactly where I’m at in life. My peace and happiness comes 1st. And a man can’t do that for me right now. I’m focused of SELF & God* & I’m loving it. Less stress. Less headaches. Pockets overflowing.
I'm telling everyone I know pursue life through hobbies 1 social, 1 solo, 1 mental, 1 physical. Learn new things and enjoy the journey that is life.
Thumbs up for the acknowledgment and willingness to speak this truth out loud!!! As you were finishing up, it dawned on me why a female coworker is so rude and obsessed with me. She’s freaking miserable…she is on her 4th marriage and her kids don’t like her. Meanwhile, I am 45 single with no children…living my best life! Men are important in this world as well as women where all forms of life comes through us. However, making men the center of our individual happiness is definitely not the key to life, especially in 2023! I don’t need to keep being told in so many ways, shapes and forms that I am not good enough to…. fill in the blanks! Great talk!!
It struck me when you mentioned how women dim themselves down to make sure they fit what men want. I've definely seen that within myself. When I became self aware of it, I started catching myself adjusting my natural behaviours so often that it confused me. Like, I was living under all of these restrictions this whole time? I could've just been me this whole time? HOW DO I SPREAD THE NEWS? 😂
Now, I'd rather be rejected as myself in some places than accepted everywhere under a facade.
I'm glad to be sharing this season of growth with you Yanie 💞
And if your husband dies before you......your going to die alone! I'm recently out of a marriage of 14 yrs! And I'm loving my own space and my time. It really isn't that serious to have a man for me!
I had this realization a few months ago and I was on the phone with my friend telling her about my new craft project and how I was reading a book about religion. Her tail changed the sudject to ask me about men. 😬😬🙄🙄🙄 I was so mad I hung up
I’m 21 My ex-best friend and got married as soon as we graduated high school during the pandemic. I dropped her recently because all she talked about was her marriage and him and how they were having issues and stuff. Made me think Damn if this is how marriage is I don’t want it. I’ve never dated anyone before, so I didn't know how to give her advice. All I was able to tell her was to go to marriage counseling. I didn’t know what else to say. I had to let her go because I just couldn’t take it. I got tired of listening to her talk about her sex life and marriage (it made me uncomfortable). I just kept getting this weird feeling that I needed to let her go. It was messing with me spiritually and mentally. Now I’ve been focusing on myself, and she was my only friend, but I'd rather be alone with no friends than deal with what I had to deal with.
Thank you for bringing this up! I’ve walked away from so many friendships bc so many of my girlfriends center all their convos on men & their issues, completely dickmatized….and the older we become the harder it is to have deep real convos. And I’m the friend that’s never been in a relationship (actively choosing my mental health over relationships ) so now in our mid 20s it’s like we speak different languages…it’s sad but necessary bc we are out growing each other
I smiled when I saw the title 😊. My pre frontal lobe just fully developed and I’ve come to the realization that this is the best way! Finding peace in my own company ❤
Now this is women empowerment!!!
I am at the point where I block people when they talk too much about their relationship. Lol, I honestly do not care about a man or being in a relationship. I am so grateful that my friends are on the same vibe as me. Yes, I still attract men and quality men, I am a girl's girl, and I prefer to be around women and talk about different things. And honestly, those conversations be miserable af to like yall men don't even like yall fr. Lol please, lets stop, ladies. I also do not have an ig any more and that has worked wonders in my life! Also I just love you Yanie! We need real representation for the girlys that just wanna live, laugh, love.
It’s called emotional dumping. It’s so draining I keep my distance from those types.
Before I even start the video, not caring about men is a sure way to get them to like you more. They goo crazy when you don’t give a fuxk 😂
Which is super weird and annoying. Just go away lol.
it’s almost narcissistic of them; they basically can’t believe some women dgaf about them. they think we all worship and need them. forgetting women only ever acted as though they “needed” men in the past cus a woman had no other way of getting money food and shelter🙄🤣
I love this : I am living that stage . When I see women changing their looks and shaving off aspects of their personality in order to get a man : I simply get that cringy feeling
im getting a flip phone to leave social media.
I was thinking to do the same thing.
I thought I was the only one that was NOT BOY CRAZY. I been decentered men. I'm at so much peace with the Christ I serve and myself. I am healing and I'm loving my new freedom. So to all black woman who are at peace, who love yourselves, and who are free: congratulations!
I was so happy only a few months ago then my friend convinced me I couldn’t be that happy if I didn’t have a man. She convinced me to start dating and I have been anxious since because I feel like the next guy should be my future husband. She is in her dating phase and after several months, I feel like she just needed someone to talk about her dating life to.
I need to go back to where I was. I love and miss my old happy single self!
That’s true..some people actually feel bad for moving into a relationship and their friend is not in one..they feel like you have nothing to relate to and it’s like what about all the other bs we been through lol
Welcome Yani! It’s fab over here isn’t it. Men stay or go 🤷🏾♀️ I focused on me and enjoying life. My hobbies my job my family it’s honestly the best thing I have ever done.
Being yourself actually gets you further in life.
Life changes when you realize you are "somebody" waaaaay before you are "somebody's" . Decenter others so you can center yourself, because nobody is going to center you, and definitely not better than you can since you understand yourself better than anyone could ever hope to do. Prioritizing others in hopes of becoming someone else's priority is exchaging gold to receive copper.
the first time I heard about 'decentering men' was from this channel called Charlie's Toolbox. She also has a podcast and her content has really helped me so much. glad more women are having these conversations!
I’m 17 and I’ve never dated nor do I have a lot of friends bc I refuse to make boys my main priority it kind of makes me feel like I’m behind or missing out
Girl, i am 25 and virgin and never been in relationship and never think of boys seriously before. I was busy out and about having fun with my friends, and living life selfishly for myself. It was so much fun!
Ladies the best thing you can do is to decenter men! It’s way to many women who are male identified, male centered, and male worshipping! That’s cuz of there conditioning. I been on this journey for a few years now and it’s so freeing! I do get tired of hearing women talk about men and the problems they always have with dealing with them.
That compilation of videos was trauma inducing. That’s how tired I am of tired of men being centered. When I vent I am usually venting about how men are being overvalued. I am 31 and I relate to you on many levels
I always come back to this series for reassurance that I’m on the right path😅
Amen. It’s been a natural shift in my life I’ve noticed and am embracing. I love this for you as well
De-centering males is equivalent of the addict de-centering the destruction the substances has cause in their live. De-centering anything toxic, troublesome or not good is a must in order to rebuild yourself and mindset with the focus on healthy mental, emotional, spiritual and physical
I’m Excited for this series. I too have decentered men for years now. I thank my parents for forcing me and my sisters to go to an all girls catholic high school. Not having guys around during those impressionable years really never allowed me to get boy crazy bc I existed without really seeing them or being around them for years. When men aren’t your focus, that energy can go to so many other places and non romantic relationships. I wish more women would adopt this lifestyle. It’s more peaceful and fulfilling. When you’re living your life for you, the right man will come in your path, I do believe this. And it’ll be natural and you won’t feel like you’re having to put on an act or devalue yourself. You won’t even allow energy that isn’t for you to even touch your space.
Although I’m in a relationship, I totally agree.
Ironically, Derrick Jaxn’s content back in 2017 helped me come to this mindset. Unfortunate how his situation played out, but back then his vids helped me understand I don’t have to bend over backwards for a man that’s right for me. My mindset since has been: “what’s supposed to happen, will, whether I like it or not” and it helped me to cut all the bs and focus on me.
If a man loves me he’ll be there. I’ve been with my bf for a few years now, but I always remember that he is not my source of happiness and contentment, totally has to come from me.
These Tik Tokety are very cringey. My friends and I talk about everything, except about men. We don’t care.
Don’t take it too seriously there is a message in these clips. 😌
Thank you - I found the fact that people actually felt the need to make those is so annoying. I really hate social media, lol.
The hardest part I have is when I find the actual good, handsome, hardworking man. Then I get scared and self sabotage because it feels like he is so rare.
😮😮I cringed so hard when you mentioned friends only wanting to go out to manhunt, it always felt weird to me. I’ve honestly learnt to enjoy my own company so much that I’m dreading when it will come to an end 😅😂😂. I don’t think there’s anyone on this planet that can make me feel down for being single, lol. I always tell people that it’s not for lack of options, getting a man is easy, getting “The” man is what I’m holding out for. Until then, cheers to the baby girl life, peace, tranquility.
Finally! This is real feminism and it's not about hating men it's about growing as woman!
I used to know someone that all she would talk to me about were guys and the dude she's dating. Everytime i brought up anything else, it was always reverted back to dudes. Its actually tiring. Women only wanna talk about dudes. Never any goals or aspirations. It's always about a dude. Im over it
Yanie is literally me. The spirituality, love of solitude, love of self, beautiful both inside and out, intelligent, bending this realm to your wants and need with EASE. I love it 💅🏾💕
I don't know if this is a personality thing or just getting older because I love being by myself as well. I'm a social person but I haven't met like-minded people with depth. I love being by myself because I truly know who I am and I like me.
Excited to see where this series goes. It’s time to decenter men and be the main character again!
I want new friends too that’s not centered around MEN. I want to talk about goals and motherhood and discuss ideas without having to hear about Dayquan cheating on you again.🙄💯🙏🏾
I really appreciated it. I love how thoughtful you were with this. I’m on a hiatus from dating/ men. That’s how I describe it. I’ve done this before but I’m older now and this feels right. I’m focusing on me- my workouts, my career, and my happiness. I’m making it a point to travel every month from
March- August with different friends doing different things. So far I’ve started in march and went to Dubai, April was Puerto Rico, may is Maui/ San Fran/ Miami. June is Vegas. July is Houston. And august is Portland. I promised myself that this year the focus is me. More trips, good food, professional education, new workout classes, honing in on new skills and hobbies. I’ve yet to give my number out this year. I tell them I’m on a hiatus. Im
Always hit with “you can’t have a friend. To which I reply….I’m flattered but no sir I can’t. Cheers to you and this new series. I love this ❤
It’s crazy because I never see information for men about how to get and/or keep a woman. Yet, it was always the case that men where supposed to be the ones to seek, find and pursue a woman. But media is all about how women can seek a man. It’s so contradictory.
From a metaphysical perspective, I’m so happy this conversation is being had. I’ve been studying and reading tarot close to two years, and we all know by default women tend to gravitate towards those things. Even the content containing readings are over saturated with love readings “they want you back”, “they regret losing you” “they want to say sorry” etc. Which I feel can keep ppl stuck in a cycle or some sort of obsession. My favorite readings to give or even watch are personal development, reaching goals or overcoming setbacks, and healing and Self love! You know seeking advice that will help you thrive, but women always try to bring it back to love and when I say the love you have or need rn should be for YOU, (not forever just in their current phase) it’s so confusing to them lol. They want to know about romance. Love readings can be helpful, but usually love lacking in other aspects of your life, starts from within.
As a clairvoyant I have visual and auditory gifts. I can read ppl through picture, and I have friends that always send me pics of men! Although I’m spot on, I wish they would have that same energy towards seeing what their current energy is all about and where and how they can show up for or work on themselves lol. Spirit only reveals so much to paint the picture, it’s a lot easier to work with pieces of yourself and build from there than worry about pieces of another, in my humble opinion.
Thank you so much for your comment!
My energy readings are in support of the evolution of the human collective, our species…our being-ness. I stay clear of ego-driven readings.
You are a wise receiver!
Thank you so much for your comment!
My energy readings are in support of the evolution of the human collective, our species…our being-ness. I stay clear of ego-driven readings.
You are a wise receiver!
@@rasheedahsilvertree thank you for yours as well! Exactly my favorite, how can we evolve as a collective and for the collective! ❤️
I’m here for the new path
Its so much easier.
Good girl! I agree with everything. Since I have decentered men, I’ve flourished! I often wonder my purpose and life journey and excited to live my existence unapologetically! Great video!
I’m a man watching this, turning 27 on Wednesday! I’ve watched part one and two and I really enjoyed this!
I love this for you and every other women embodying this energy ❤️🌹
I've been meditating on the exact same thing this past year. I've always been able to manifest anything in my adult life except for the right man. I wonder if it has something to do with free will and that a man is not an object. I've gotten men that I've targeted before, but as far as manifesting that partner to share life with, it hasn't happened no matter what I've done
Step away for awhile. You will feel so much better
Pray about it, seriously
It feels so good…I’m in no rush. Made it out the situation with no kids I’m 38 and feeling great! Lol
This video was a breath of fresh air. I wish I could find women like you in real life. I feel like I’m surrounded by boy/d*ck crazy girls and it’s mentally exhausting…
I have my moments of loneliness, but not often. The nauseous feeling you got is how i feel thinking about throwing myself into another headache lol like i can't.. I love being alone just like you. I was married a long time ago. I literally told my sister-in-law recently, that I'm still a million times more happy than I ever was being married. I think you're on to something... Would love to hangout with you next time you're in KC!❤❤❤
I am reading "The Game the 41 Shades of men".
Me too… I love princellas channel!
Right! The Queen Maker👑Princella 🔥
Thank you Yani!! I was influenced by the nonstop convos of dating. I am a married woman but that is not all that I am. I’m not my husbands wife. I’m more than that. There is so much more to life and the experience than to discuss gender wars. I understand that you will still engage some of those viral discussions because it’s your platform but I know this series will grow and we will eventually shift as an audience or those who can’t cope will leave and those who enjoy just living as theirselves will be here!! You’re a beautiful human being! I personally love all that you do for us women ❤❤
I love this and need this! Life circumstances have shaken me from the fog of being a people pleaser and I'm learning to let that side of me go...this is timely and I'm excited to hear more! Thanks Yanie!
"Hurry up, Girl- better get you a man before you hit the wall..." BAM. Someone needed to criticize this. THANK YOU.