What is the Sociopathic Stare? | Is it really a Psychopathic Stare?
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- čas přidán 25. 06. 2024
- This video answers the question: What is the sociopathic stare? sometimes this is referred to as the psychopathic stare, which may actually be a better name. We've heard the sociopathic stare referred to by a lot of descriptors: cold, detached, emotionless, lifeless, dead, blank, empty, icy, intense, piercing, and penetrating. There are a lot of different adjectives to describe this particular phenomenon. To understand the sociopathic stare or the psychopathic stare, we need to understand a little bit about psychopathy versus sociopathy and how that relates to antisocial personality disorder. Psychopathy has two factors: factor 1 and factor 2. With Factor 1 (interpersonal/affective), we see traits like superficial charm, grandiosity, callousness, unemotional, fearless dominance manipulativeness, having a lack of empathy, shallow affect and pathological lying. Factor 2 (social deviance) has a different set of characteristics: excitement-seeking, parasitic lifestyle, impulsivity, irresponsibility, poor behavioral controls, and criminal versatility. Factor 2 psychopathy is much closer to the diagnosis in the DSM of antisocial personality disorder than Factor 1 psychopathy. A lot of times when we talk about sociopathy we're really talking about factor 2 psychopathy, which is why the sociopathic stare is really probably better referred to as the psychopathic stare. A lot of the characteristics with Factor 1 psychopathy appear to line up with this particular type of staring.
The stare of fearless dominance is unmistakable..............It is the first stage of intimidation.
To me, if the eyes aren't moving, I get the feeling that they aren't thinking about anything I have to say.
They're not smart. They think they can be manipulative and dominant but in reality they're dumb gorillas. They think and behave just like animals not humans. Actually slightly wrong. Wild animals actually have shown they have feelings. Psychopaths have none. They are worse than robots. Lying manulipative irresponsible cowardly cold fake robots.
Reptile behaviour
Is it the look like they’ll eat you?!? That they could hurt you and feel nothing? Like they want complete control? What if they stare at you during sex? That freaks me out
Mike Tyson
My theory regarding impaired eye contact is that the stare has nothing at all to do with eye contact. My observation is that their mind is too overwhelmed with thought in that moment to control what’s going on with their face. They’re evaluating and judging and calculating potential responses, and more importantly they haven’t decided what emotion they want to display so they display none. Its like a frozen webpage.
"...they haven’t decided what emotion they want to display so they display none..." I think that, in many cases, this is precisely what is occuring. Your observation dovetails with the nearly universal "lack of affect" displayed by such persons. I can conceive of that split second as being a "manipulation algorithm". Serious food for thought.
That makes perfect sense to me
Yeah if my boss is talking too Mee about a job, I notice he can see me not making a face, I'm trying to think ahead of me details of the job and what I might go wrong, when he stops talking sometimes I don't completely answer the question but I do ask about a specific details I am concerned about
When i sociopath stare, im often in two places at once concentrating on everything im seeing whilst imagining what i want. I'd describe it as augmented fantasy.
Ozma337 I think you’re righg
That soul-less gaze that strikes terror to your core. Once you see it, you can't forget it. It's almost inhuman.
My ex did that 😮it was so cringe and scary
How can it be inhuman if it comes from humans...
@@jayslungsbloodclot2733 when their definition of "inhuman" is "not descriptive of the average human" 😂
Because there's no humanity there. Call it soul. Call it whatever we have evolved that makes a difference between man and our apelike ancestors. These people are devoid of that, they are soulless animals without anything in them that makes them human.
Stepfather would do that with the car rear view mirror. He'd adjust it to keep staring at me in the back seat.
As ex husband attempted to strangle me, his eyes became dark empty holes. Once seen , never forgotten.
Jay Ell my ex boyfriend did the same thing & I saw a similar thing. It’s like their soul drains & its something inhuman staring back at you. Startling to experience
They have an unclean spirit inside, now I understand the phrase, eyes are the windows of the soul, run away from those people!
Downright satanic isnt it?
@Soda Pop you know...
@@kimyoung2748 not necessarily, devoid of satan, worse
Once you've seen it, you don't doubt it exists.
@Raphael Miller yes....me, too. And it can not be explained very well, but it's mindblowing and we surely didn't just imagine it.
@Dennis Helgi every new word is ...
I've seen it twice. From the same person. You never forget that stare.
Once you've seen it, you can't un-see it.
So true! I experienced it YEARS ago. I felt someone staring in my direction. I casually looked over and made split second eye contact with this person. It literally pierced me to my core and still haunts me to this day!
Dead eyes, it's like they're looking at a object instead of a person.
Sociopathic stair: when the next step inexplicably appears or disappears
Took me a minute. I like it
I hate it when sociopathic stairs use my past trauma of stair falls against me.
😂
Lmao
Ascending or ?....psychopathic stairs only lead down..they also never stumble or trip
I call that 'demon eyes'. It is very easy to see, even if they are pretending. It is cold, dead, dark, evil - that look in the eyes - and often very piercing and intense (and not in a good way) - and can send chills down the spine.
Growing up in 80's / 90's Los Angeles I know the look. A lot of older gangsters have those eyes. Of course it all comes together when you notice the crude prison tattoos and paranoid demeanor
exactly
i am so sorry to hear. Be safe.
PJ Holland has stared at me like this. I thought if you lay one finger on me it's on buddy! It's fucking on!!!
Most are pretenders. Just trying to bully others. They back down when they know that they will lose.
Run first, diagnose later.
Grace RC Great advice!!!
Best Advice Ever! Oh and don't forget the can of Raid for Eye spraying those huge Parasitic Bugs out walking around!
that's what concealed carry is for
@@ab935 lol
@keith cunningham Stuart is that you? 😂
It's predatory and menacing. It's telling the one being stared at I don't care if you are annoyed by what I do, I'm going to violate your boundaries and make you feel uncomfortable and there is nothing you can do about it. It's hostile.
it's that evil look in their eyes!
You described it perfectly!
There thinking and visualising a very messy outcome for you....look away now!!
My boss gave me this stare twice yesterday when he was threatening me. I refused to look away. I consider it like staring at a dog, his eyes were just dead & I’m glad that I stood my ground! But I’ll be gone soon...
@@jaszi33 I hope that your situation improves
My dad gets a stare that completely changes his face, esp in anger, like he's not even human... just the embodiment of murderous rage. It was terrifying growing up with it. I'm thankful I survived childhood long enough to get out. The trauma and mental/emotional damage are my battle even now after being free from him for years. They are like rabid predators who assault your mind and body at random over nothing. So incredibly toxic and destructive. I know this stare all too well. It is a real thing.
my dad the same . crazy
Yep, same with my father.
Concur
sometimes I wonder what the mothers saw in them? because sometimes the mothers are far different than the fathers
That’s exactly how my mother can often look at me. Especially when she’s mad. It’s like I’m not her daughter. Everyone thinks that her being a sociopath is too “far-fetched” and I’ve been told when describing her characteristics that “maybe she’s autistic and that’s why she seems to not have empathy”. This video made me cry because I finally feel more understood. I was just watching videos with autistic adults, trying to see in their eyes what I see in my mother’s but it’s not the same. My father has many characteristics that could associate him with sociopathy too, but I haven’t seen him in years and I’ve tried to forget everything about him so I can’t seem to remember how he looked at me, but I know it was blank. I don’t know if it had the “murderous” as you said element though like my mother does. Can I please ask you how you understood that your father is a sociopath/psychopath? I mean does he have a diagnosis, is it based on characteristics that you read? Or is it just the stare that you can recognize in him and not the entire disorder? I’m asking because I’m doubting myself so much about this and I can’t seem to find a good answer. I feel like understanding my parents’ disorders could really help me find peace within myself at least for a bit. I’m sorry if that’s not something you want to talk about. Thank you for your comment🤍
One of the scariest moments of my life was witnessing that stare from someone I used to know. Nothing behind the eyes, but pure, predatory evil
What was the reason why the person psychopathically stared at you?
@@MrBernardhard I think most people are using extreme confirmation bias here
anyone engaging in a violent situation likely will have a "psycho" stare. it's more due to the intensity and mindset of the moment.
@@Koraxus No... I think you have not experienced it. Psychopathic stare is really something else.
@@araro7735 If you had time and could keep mental frame to analyze all that on the spot, it clearly wasn't scary enough
Sorry Sister
Im here because this is my wife. Get to know the person really well before you marry people.
Sorry to hear that. It's difficult, mine was very troubled and vulnerable which made it difficult to leave. Best wishes, I'm free now and life has returned.
If she’s a sociopath , she may love you. But if she’s a psychopath, RUN.
same..... pray for me pls 🙏🙏🙏🙏
The Jack English Project Jack get out if she is a narcissist and go no contact anyway you can do it. I hope you do.
AdiK are you stupid
After talking to 700 people a day in the mcdonalds drive thru. You get this stare 😂😂😂 😶
bigmanforce 😂😂😂😂
haha good one
That will do it
Facts they be so entitled I’m like I’m not that worried about getting fired to not catch your fade real quick pussy
At least once a day
I've seen this stare combined with a delighted grin in two people who turned out to be sociopaths.
Eww yes you're correct, my mom stared at me and had the wackiest grin on her face while we passed each other in traffic. My husband at the time was with me and he looked at me and said oh wow that was some look. I also always had a strange feeling around her, like something deep in me was telling me to keep my distance. My brother passed away under her roof and to this day we don't know what happened. A healthy 17 yr old kid died in his sleep. I may be wrong but something tells me to keep away from that thing.
@@nikkib473 Oh shit dude… rip to your brother. Stay away from her trust me, I had to deal with my father that is like. Stay safe
Sounds like Duper's Delight, a real giveaway. 👀
Yes the arrogance....
Turned out to be or always were??
When you unmask a psycho or sociopath they may give you that stare. Bloody hell it's incredible. The death stare is what I call it. Intensively creepy to say the least. Yet you see first hand how much they put into their acting.
Once you see through them the acting is actually so cringe worthy bad!
How do you differentiate it from an autistic stare?
Some of these are narcissist I feel like lol. They’re the ones who put so much into acting
Just don't laugh as I did! 👀
How awful.
I’ve seen this first hand several times. It’s very real. The feeling you get is horrifying. You feel like the person that gives you this stare has no soul and is a source of pure evil. Like you’ve just made eye contact with a sinful soulless being.
My friend is a psych nurse and she described this very thing after shaking my ex husbands hand during our divorce, child in need of care and pfa hearings, where he convinced everyone I was dangerous and should never see my kids again.
Oh don't be so dramatic...
@@tonyjohnantonio3441 who talked to you
@@tonyjohnantonio3441 understandable have a nice day
@@tonyjohnantonio3441 attention seeking weirdo
To everyone with anxiety in the comments that are affraid they have this stare,,, YOU DONT when you see this stare you will know
Believe.
Well fuck
Not wanting to be a bad person disqualifies you I would think.
I definitely got this stare and I'm proud of it
This. It's like totally plastic eyes.
Strictly anecdotal, if you've ever been on the wrong side of a psychopathic stare, you don't doubt it. You don't forget it. It stays with you. Always.
At least you can spot when it happens again and be warned!
Stg I know this on a personal level
Just wish it wasn't my bio mom.
@Chris Lloyd When you are broken, beaten and had your life threatened by someone with that stare, it's not giving them too much credit. It's a warning to others to be aware that these types of people are real. They exist. People should know that there are real consequences that have real damage and life threatening potential. If you see that stare, don't ignore your instincts, don't give them the benefit of the doubt. Get out of the situation immediately and don't look back.
Yes it stays with you, ALWAYS. I'll never forget that stare
If you haven't experienced the narc/sociopathic stare, just like with anything else , you won't get it. I had this happen to me and I knew to avoid this person. They were looking at me the way a predator looks at prey. They were sizing me up to see what sort of supply I was good for. They let me know exactly what they were because I was aware of the stare to begin with. It was weird.
@filthy animal Sometimes it's intentional, but many times it is because lack of empathy makes the sociopath unaware that constant eye contact might make someone uncomfortable.
@filthy animal hmm, i hold eye contact a lot, and i have to look away because i dont know how to but i needed to to come off as normal. id also try to manipulate my body language so id look normal, like looking to the sides when they are talking to fake laughing to fake caring, because i dont feel anything for anyone going through a ruff time or when something sad happens so them, i sometime don’t know what to do since i had no empathy and so id stand there while they cried on my shoulder wishing they’d shut up and leave but then i knew that that pushed them away from me so i had to act and learned how to fake care and say things that would calm a person and seem like i cared when in reality i didnt care. When its my turn to speak i do break eye contact i don’t think its Necessary to hold it because i know it might come off as lying in certain situations so id look maybe right when remembering something and then hold eye contact and say it, and when they are speaking id hold eye contact to show I’m listening when i dont really care unless if its something i need to hear and use. Idk why I’m commenting on this but i dont think there’s nothing wrong with me so there’s no problem.
@filthy animal so would it mean I’m not a psychopath? I do like to watch people hurt which would make me sadistic and i was diagnosed with ODD which is linked to aspd, i also looked at a traits list and i had about 10+ of the 15 on the list and i dont feel empathy for people. If you aren’t a psychopath and you do the same then i guess I’m not and its normal?
@filthy animal ok, then everything makes sense, well I can’t be diagnosed yet so I can’t have them do what ever they do to diagnose someone with aspd. So if you have aspd and you do all of what i do that would make me a possible psychopath. Which then i would need the diagnosis to confirm it. The wait is ridiculously long unless there’s an alternative which by what iv researched there is none, but I feel the wait will strengthen all the traits and tendencies i have. Idk what to do tho.
Isn't looking for what you are good for a normal thing? Everyone do that sort of social interactions. It's just less subtle especially with extroverted individuals. More obvious with introverts.
I've noticed three different "creepy looks." The first is what I've termed "Dead Man Eyes" (blank, cold emotionless). The second is "The Death Ray" (sheer, naked hostility). Third has been mentioned by others: "Duper's Delight" (the involuntary smirk when they know that they have fooled and/or hurt you). None of them seem to indicate a healthy personality.
Ive never heard the term "dupers delight". I spent a good hour or so reading. Glad i came by your comment
Nobody makes eye contact without a motive.
The hostile/ contempt filled stare can also be delivered with a smile, for example in photos, and the smile comes across first while the contemptuous stare can be missed entirely unless one looks closely. Due to this things like these they manage to pull off looking harmless pretty well..
@Sentient being Really? Stop trolling dude.
That depends on ones definition of "healthy". How many geniuses, or very successful business owners also use drugs of various types? That sounds unhealthy to some, but to others it's perfect because they know just like these "stare" scenarios that the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
very comprehensive. so misdiagnosing can be disastrous.... a socially awkward person can be misinterpreted as someone scary...
A socially awkward person can also be a scary person. The two aren't mutually exclusive.
@@matilda4406
You're welcome to believe that but my life has been proof you're wrong.
@@skaldlouiscyphre2453 your life isn’t proof of anything, what an ignorant thing to say
Recognizing the stare and being in tune with my discomfort, unease and confusion about it fueled me to move on from someone I was dating. I initially questioned if everything was okay with him because the moment felt off. His response was odd. He listed the qualities of a good women. Since I had those qualities he was in love with me. It was like a robot from a 70's sci-fi low budget film response. No passion. Just emptiness. He said our meeting was lucky for me since I'm an older woman. He would express joy when I shared difficult things from my life. I shared my Dad was diagnosed with late stage prostate cancer. All new to our family. He said, Good! Nobody has to worry what's going to take him out. He was upbeat and jovial as the conversation proceeded. Trust your discomforts. A few days later he returned to the conversation. He pushed a narrative of concern, care and love for my entire family. As if someone told him how he should have responded the first time.
When I was a kid, some of the bullies in school had this kind of stare. Cold, dead eyes with hooded lids, but with an expression like they could watch you die with no regret. I’ll never forget those faces.
They grew up to be PSYCHOPATH...guaranteed.
When I was a kid some of my bullies saw that stare. For some reason most of them picked new targets shortly afterwards.
@@Thenormalguy11
Don't you have people to punish for being exactly the way you made them?
@@skaldlouiscyphre2453 You scared them with the "angry and abusive dad" stare.
Predatory animals do this...they stare before they pounce
Patrick Porco most things stare before they do something.
Actually it's more a blank stare than focused stare
Odd, because I have been told I have the eyes of a panther or a shark.
Stop making psychopaths seem like mythical beings
Humans are predators
Once you’ve seen it, you know it.
Your pretty
Promise you
I was a mental health counselor for twenty years and had one incident with a paranoid schizophrenic. He had it in his head that I and his roommate were stealing from him. He came to the office to confront me and got to within a foot of me. His pupils filled his whole eye and he stared THROUGH me, not at me. Truly unforgettable, but I managed to de-escalate the situation and had him leave. I should have received a bonus.
The stare makes you think they know all your dark secrets and aren't afraid to exploit them to their advantage.
The "serial killer stare".. it can be intense. The moment they slip up and for a moment reveal their true character, then quickly change it once they realize you're not reacting the way they want you to.
I experienced this stare from a murderer on a witness stand who caught my eye as a juror. He had stabbed a professor to death and we were to decide on degree and his state of mind at the time. I will never forget his cold, dark stare. I’m not one to be intimidated by nature, but I was the first to look away and will never forget it.
I feel contempt towards that murderer.
U still alive?
The stare, and then there's the smirk. I always found the smirk more disturbing.
"Physical argument": an unusual definition of "fight".
My anxiety sometimes makes my eye contact seem "intense" or "penetrating" because I hate eye contact when I'm anxious, yet I try to force it even though I desperately want to look away. So it might come off like a sociopathic stare, and this misinterpretation makes me depressed to think that some people might think I'm a sociopath.
People, please don't be so immediately judgemental and realize that you might be wrong about some people.
Indeed.
@Galaxi so did I. Except I get anxious so i try to force myself to stare and other people get uncomfortable and look away. But i'm only trying to better myself at eye contacy
I have the same problem on the autism spectrum... I'm always afraid people will interpret my lack of eye contact as disinterest, so I try to look but get so uncomfortable that I forget to actually pay attention to what they're saying. I also have to fight back random facial expressions like smiling at the worst times, so awkward. ugh.
If it's not natural to you.. Don't do it.. Don't conform to social norms that are not normal to you.
I could never hold eye contact for years.. And I still can't.. unless I'm comfortable, if I'm in control, or find the person engaging these day... I'm cool with that.. But if I feel intensity or anxiety, I don't force it.. I just act comfortable with not wanting to.. This allows me to still project myself confidently lessing the anxiety of others "supposed" expectations.
A lot of retarded responses telling you to not follow the social behavioral norms, but this is exactly what makes people socially isolated and miserable as they don't pass the image of someone trustworthy. You need to strike down the anxiety and try to live normally after that, not just accept it and live excluded from the society.
This stare is very real and is common of sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists.
Again I will refer you to my Mother
Dissassociation
Most people who work in security are this.
I agree with you 100%
Based on what? Can you support your argument as well as Dr Grande?
I used to work with a guy who would stare at me non stop. He lacked empathy I noticed and over time devoted much time trying to control me or hurt me emotionally. It was very intense...
I have seen a stare that I would characterize as "serial killer stare" as the stare communicated to me that they had just discovered their next victim and they were relishing the thought of it. Luckily for me, their fantasy did not occur. It happened to me twice at work with two different attorneys, years apart. Another time happened at the grocery store. Another time it happened at a car dealership in the parts department. It is a look that cuts you to the bone and sets off your intuition alarm. Very creepy.
👀They ABSOLUTELY can tell who is susceptible to them. And from personal AND professional experience I have to wonder if you had a traumatic childhood, possibly at the hands of a Narcissist or Sociopath? You don't have to answer, but if you have I do hope you've gotten specific help about these predators. Best to you. ❤️🙏💞
@@lulumoon6942 No I haven't had such an experience. Just keen intuition/awareness of my surroundings and of people's behavior. I believe that intuition/awareness has kept me from becoming a victim of such. Thank you for your concern.
@@rebawasswass3716 Glad to hear it, as previous victimization seems to be a factor in their choices. Best to you.
PJ Holland has stared at me like this over trivial matters, I thought if you lay one finger on me it's on buddy! It's fucking on!!!
Sometimes i zone out and stare into nothingness like a weirdo i hope people dont think of me as a sociopath
I think once in a while everyone does it if you have too much in your mind.
That's just dissociation.
It's kind of the same thing essentially but it's normal. Psychopaths can get fixated or not know what emotions to fake at that time. You have a reptilian mind but a mammalian one as well. Psychopaths don't have a properly functioning mammalian mind but still have reptile qualities like the predatory stare.
@@savagetruthercritic8646 Nah.. Disassociation is just zoning out and staring blankly into space. A predatory stare is full of hatred and contempt. Hardly the same thing
Zoning out can also be an autistic trait, probably having to do with disassociation. Was part of the reason I couldn't pass school. I can only take so much of a social situation, and then if I can't physically leave it, I'll do it mentally without even knowing it.
I was in a deep psychosis for a long time, I developed blank stares, once I accidentally saw my reflection in the mirror and my eyes were dark, I scared myself into self care, haven't looked back since. I was raised by a narc mom, then married into a family that honestly, was like it's own cult. Now, after journaling, crying, dancing, music, yoga, water, meditation, healthier food, AND CHANNELS LIKE THIS....Im better than ever before! If I can do it, anyone can! I'd go many moons without talking, eating, sleeping, cleaning, showering, utter DARKNESS, I crawled out!
I'm so very proud of your strength and dedication to making a better life than you were given. I pray that you're still on a healing path, with lots of unexpected joys. ❤️🙏💞
Welcome to the light! 🙏
So strong and self aware💖💖✨ Keep choosing self care, you're amazing ⭐️
I pray you are still doing well and are healing from this. I don’t know if you believe in Jesus but I want to tell you He loves you so much. God is the best parent one can have. I know my relationship with Jesus is the best decision I ever made. He is my best friend, so loving and always there for me with open arms even when I mess up (which I often do). He still loves and cares for me and I don’t know how I would have gone though so things without Him by my side. I know you are so precious to Him and that if you ever want to turn to Jesus, He is right there with opens and loving arms. I pray for you to have peace, love, and joy each day. God bless you ❤️
thank you
A guy I dated very briefly described himself as easy going with a moral compass. One evening as I was lying on the bed out of nowhere he slapped me and then grabbed my face. While he gripped my face he homed in on me and had this extremely intense blank stare that slowly examined each of my eyes individually back and forth multiple times without saying a word I could feel a force of distain coming from him. I was completely none reactive. It was like I had been stunned. I then whispered ‘what are you thinking?’ He calmly replied ‘You don’t want to know’. This is my only experience of what I think is a sociopath/ psychopath.
I will never forget the look my ex gave me when he said without any emotion “I could kill someone, even a member of my family and not feel a thing” terrifying.
My father stared at us children with small round cold eyes before he hit us! We called it "the squirrel look", Once he almost killed my sister. We knew, when he's switching to that stare, we have to run and hide anywhere to protect ourselves. Once I locked myself in the bathroom and since he couldn't catch me, he destroyed all my paintings in my room.
Wtf
It is so much worse in a parent. I hope you and your sister recovered from that horrendous experience.
Mireille Claire good times had by all
I really hope you are happy!! No one deserves this
Your father was a sick man. I hope you have health from this obvious abuse.
Its a predator's stare towards their pray. When you see it you will know it
I had the misfortune to see a real psychopathic stare.
It exists but it's not what movies show or people believe it is. Psycho and sociopath experience very weak emotions and emotions make your eyes move or blink. That's why they tend not to move their eyes from your face. All people look at the interlocutor's eyes, but people with strong emotions unconsciously tend to move their eyes, but psychopaths don't. High-functioning psychopaths don't have this stare because they learned to hide that
maybe learn how to spell "prey" before psychoanalyzing social situations. k THANKSSSSSSS
@@hoonta0h687 How empty ones life must be to have the need to make irrelevant comments hoping that someone will pay attention to them.
I've seen it before. It's alarming and dismaying to realize you are a target.
@@hoonta0h687 Funny you should say that - I was just about the post a comment about how they wait for you to say something they can use AGAINST you. They are paying GREAT attention - just WAITING for you to say something that will give them a chance to demean, belittle, criticise, devalue or humiliate you in front of others. And you have just provided me with a PERFECT example! Thank-you!
It’s literally the same as a predatory animal staring at you, such as a lion or a tiger. It’s very creepy.
EXACTLY.
I sincerely hope you never stop making videos. This has been very informative, thank you.
I experienced this psychopathic stare from a man in line at the coffee shop. I interpreted it as an attraction but soon found out it was manipulation. He was trying to lead me to a parking lot and then his car parked in a dark corner. The stare turned into a conversation about real estate while we walked. Unbeknownst to me the talking took me to the beginning of a parking lot away from others the he said I got a business card for you in my car which was further away in a dark corner. At that point my street sense kicked in and I could see what he was really trying to do. I froze and then turned around going back towards the people. He was gonna get hurt cuz I’m not the one.
So glad you avoided the"nice girls don't offend" trap that so many do, to their end! Stay safe, strong sister. ❤️🙏💞
smart thing. your safety comes first. Go back to the place of business and report him.
A fascinating discussion. I like the fact that you don't oversimplify. Clearly there are several different phenomena here that have been lumped together under the portmanteau term 'sociopathic stare'.
Most people find a hard stare disconcerting, but there may be a number of reasons for it. (Of course, anxiety is not a neutral state from which to judge the other person's intent, and some will always assume the worst.) But there is definitely what I would call a 'predator's stare'. It resembles the gaze of a predatory animal looking at a potential lunch. What is striking isn't so much what is in the stare as what is absent: any recognition that the object of the stare is another thinking, feeling human being. Assessment without empathy.
Thank you!
This is why I limit my interactions with strangers 🤣
NO WAY would any "normal" person interpret that stare as "attraction". Once you've seen it, you'll NEVER make that mistake of "misinterpretation" again. That stare absolutely penetrates you, and whatever is behind it is evil.
Um, it's called eye fucking. Women and men have been doing that for centuries with no problems.
Y'all are just overly sensitive snowflakes.
@@Un1234l No - it's called the natural gaze of a neutral person.
It’s the scariest thing I ever saw .
In my experience, those who stare like this are sizing you up. I don't think they even know they are doing it sometimes. I've seen it a few times, it reminds me of the unblinking stare of a death adder before it strikes.
Snakes can't help being unblinking. They don't have eyelids.
Congrat's, there Bunny, a little "over the top" maybe... BUT you've come about closest to the essence of a generic "stare" that I know.
I've faced down more than a couple obvious socio-paths... I won't pretend to know purely the academic differences between socio/psycho... nor try to lead you on with some babbling nonsense about any diagnostics...
In my experience, however, a stare in essence is just that... study. Whether someone's sizing you up as prey or a resource, adding a depth of perception about your roles in bystander or confronter, whatever else(?)... It's study.
There are rare exceptions when "the stare tactic" is employed to unnerve you, to "rattle your cage" so to speak by patiently repeating the act until you meet their gaze... and I've been "there" too, but outwardly, there's little or no relevant difference to perceive.
You can ONLY know that you're being stared at... probably measured. (even as a bonus simply for trying to non-verbally challenge you)...
Importantly, regardless of what it reminds you of, at the time, it's worth understanding that you have limited choices in the situation. You can challenge it. You can ignore it (at your peril). OR You can go on about life, simply noting it.
It takes some dubious levels of personal confidence and consideration to make an appropriate and effective choice. AND it's worth admitting that nobody gets it "right" ALL the time. You can't exactly diagnose based on a stare, however vacuous or glassy-eyed.
"At your peril" is to say, totally ignoring someone staring at you is probably the single worst choice to make, most of the time. While you can't exactly diagnose them from the stare, better to at least recognize that you're either being measured up for something (plotting on you at least) or directly challenged. Ignoring a challenge is as dangerous as retorting "Sure, I'll play along!" without knowing what the hell game you're volunteering to play.
Sociopaths and Psychopaths find their own "fulfillment" in measures and ways that we "normal people" don't even understand. It's really just that simple, and without turning into an "Us versus Them" kind of derogatory filth-fest, we don't have to openly invite disasters just because those disasters have intellect and will of their own.
How to effectively navigate or circumvent a "lunatic" (umbrella term for aggressive enemy, regardless of psychological balance or impediment) is a damn dubious thing at the best of times. It's only really useful to point out that it CAN be done in most circumstances, and for those remaining (where it can't be circumvented?)... You should definitely learn how to defend yourself physically. At some level EVERYONE should do that much, not because being a pacifist is "dumb"... BUT because the world at large is physical, and there ARE really horrible people around who mean you harm, simply to mean you harm. ;o)
gnarth d'arkanen - very useful & interesting information, there - you've put a lot of thought into this! I will bear all your analysis in mind. Thanks for the help.
@@BunnyUK, You're certainly welcome...
It just seemed "about time" on this thread for someone to put something interesting and useful, rather than accuse you of symptomatic behavior or flat out lying about animal biology...
I'd be disingenuous to suggest that there aren't some stares and moments that totally unnerve us (me, too?) BUT it's not exactly like Hollyweird and others suggest "like porn' you just know it when you see it" either...
In any case, I'm just glad to have offered some relief to the obvious frustrations of someone who (not too different from myself) is honestly trying for an academic understanding of things. ;o)
gnarth d'arkanen - that is so thoughtful and kind of you, and thanks for being nonjudgemental. :)
Follow a Correctional Officer on his rounds. You will see the "stare" in about 25% of the inmates.
More like 60-70%
@@ari-jv Yes, depending on the unit and the sex of the officer it could be that high.
Sounds like a look I saw in my ex’s eyes once, when he didn’t realize I saw it. I turned around fast and surprised the look on his face and it was absolutely chilling! Like a demon was looking out of his eyes. He immediately poured on the charm but I knew then I had to get away from hi,.
That stare is like looking into the eyes of a snake. There is nothing behind the eye. A blank look on the face and penetrating, evil, hostile stare. Meant to intimidate, and threaten the normal person. I have experienced the stare from my sister, who is a narcissist, of the worst type. Knew what she was, and just ignored the staring. Needless to say I cut all contact, and have no regrets.
I've also seen the stare & it is ice cold & make you shiver & look away.
those may be people with some big problems in their life.
True
It’s a look that stops you in your tracks, the hair stands up on your arms, and you feel guilty doing nothing. I’ve seen in on 2 occasions. Scary look
Perhaps you weren't "doing nothing" and got the cold penance stare of the holy spirit convicting your soul of your crimes.
I think i may have the stare people can't look into my eyes more than 5 seconds and my son eyes are also wide as nickels
I've seen it on two occasions myself both were sexually abused as children by fathers from broken homes. It leads me to believe the trait is possibly genetic as well as trauma induced by breaking the very soul in children eliminating their ability to feel trust or empathy. I say genetic because I imagine it takes a lack of empathy to molest your own child.
Sorry lady, but you met a human that looks in eyes and see your SOUL, so WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG ?! Cheated your husband, LYING ? Steal smthng ? Hmmmm....
Or just annoying because it appears to be a challenge
I strongly remember this stare from an ex friend who is a covert narcissist. It was just a dead stare, emotionless, and I thought it was so odd and she didn't look away when I'd look back and she'd just keep staring. I wish I had known before becoming friends with her.
@Ark15-47...I haven't met a covert narc yet that I haven't also sensed had a solid degree of psychopathy in them.
Yeah, the inability to get them to snap out of it is frightening. They don’t react to anything they just keep staring.
This was really interesting. I work in mental health and I can say I’ve seen indications of this before. I’m sure it’s situation and person specific to a degree, but my intuition is that it has to do with predatory behavior that is often relegated to the “shadow” as poorly-socialized behavior. As it tends to make others uncomfortable, “normal” people are uncomfortable staring in such a way. The one thing I can say about it is that it is powerful, and definitely indicates dominance behavior or a challenge to norms or authority. I even noticed it in myself on one occasion when I was having fun with a friend at dinner and the waiter was brusque and condescending about how silly we were being. I remember at that point my facial expression went from jovial and polite to what I recognized in myself as this “psychopathic stare,” and accompanied by a shift in posture from relaxed to dominant. It definitely had its intended effect in making the waiter uncomfortable and apologize for his remarks. The way I processed it later was that it was the moment when the persona drops and the social mask falls. I no longer cared if this person liked me or not and my goal was to at least subconsciously assert dominance. When one stares like this, it is definitely something to be considered by the observer. If I’d seen it in a patient, I would have surmised that it was a precursor to violent or manipulative behavior.
"I asserted dominace by sitting up straight" what a joke lol
Usually the ones putting the mask on are the biggest hypocrites
I've been the recipient of the psychopathic stare, and it left a deep impression on me. It was sustained for such an inordinate amount of time and the intensity was hypnotic... mesmerising. I honestly felt like my brain was melting. It's an unusual and highly effective way to assert dominance.
Sounds like a vampire
I think you're projecting and exaggerating.
Honor yourself I had this done to me too. It was bizarre. I had been on a jury that found a guy not guilty, and after the trial the federal district judge came in and talked to us. Apparently he was surprised that I had voted not guilty possibly based on my background and after talking to us for a while, turned and stared at me without speaking for a good 10 seconds. The whole room seemed stunned. I had no idea what he was doing but the psychopathic stare seems to explain it now.
Well we don't do it so that you can forget about it an hour later. We want it stuck in your head so you lose sleep thinking about it.
That’s interesting :)
I’ve experienced the stare with several people with NPD/BPD traits when I haven’t given them the answer or response they want - it’s like they just glare, waiting for the “correct” response.
Sounds like you are describing the police.
You know you've just put BPD in the same category as sociopathy. I hope you can appreciate the total irony of that. In the generalist and simplistic of terms; one is a.lack of any substantial emotions and the other is the overabundance of emotions. I'll leave you to figure which one is which.
But my.point is, please don't lump people like me who has been afflicted with BPD for whatever reason, with that of a person with no empathy. I'm very empathetic.
Perhaps they know if you're lying or not...so if you tell them a lie...they start glaring at you because they know you're being dishonest.
Oh shit I do this when I don’t hear what I was expecting lmfao
llriv still not the same thing as aspd and wouldnt be classified as a completely different disorder with specialized therapy if it could be lumped in as any other personality disorder :/
A woman thought i was a psycho because i was just staring at her without blinking for two minutes. Good thing she didn't realize i was just trying to get the courage to ask her out 😭
So that settles it: Owls have sociopathy.
well they are predators so yeah very similar, love that ahaha
Underrated comment!
Nah, they're just chill.
If you tame one it will not peck your eyes out for fun - like a human psychopath would do. Clearly owls are superior beings.
it's nothing at all like that. Bless you you have clearly been spared one of the most horrifying experiences a person can have of another person.
I prefer the term "shark eyes".... but Tony Soprano nailed it when he said to Richie Aprile... "Every time I press you on anything, you give me those MANSON LAMPS". Ha hah.
Lol
😂😂
Deplorable Cat or when he contemplated killing Paulie on the boat
@Deplorable Cat For me the Sopranos could me renamed to "why narcissistic personality disorder will eventually destroy you."
Just watched that episode yesterday lmao classic!
Saw it again just today on med round. So grateful for those steel bars. Prey is exactly the right word. When u become their prey u can feel it. Its so inexplicably different from all the other kinds of uncomfortable.... Weird..... Socially awkward or inappropriate kinds of staring and peculiar affect.... It's a visceral reaction. Your brain screaming FLIGHT FLIGHT FLIGHT!!!!!!
@Mark Zaney Don't! I have a "friend" whose only concern is undeserved recognition & vicious retribution to those that have harmed him... and yes, he has been irrevocably harmed & psychologically damaged. I can only tolerate minimal doses of him. I am on autism spectrum & he also is. He was pushed into psychosis resulting from hideous childhood abuse.
@Mark Zaney They have a very limited emotional cycle: Hate ➡ Arouses Feeling of Satisfaction ➡Hate ➡ Arouses Feeling of Satisfaction - ad infinitum. The satisfaction they feel when hating sustains them emotionally , as would a feeling of love and happiness in a normal person. They are actually content in their cyclical dysfunction, so wouldn't even be able to understand (in fact it would enrage them) that we are feeling any sympathy towards them. We can feel pity for them occasionally, but why waste our time when they would *Thrive* on seeing us suffer in any way whatsoever
I'm here because my son did this. He no longer lives with us, but he definitely did this for years. My husband works 2nd shift so I was often left alone in the evening with the kids. I had two younger children to protect, so I had no choice but to show no fear. I know I sound like a terrible mother, but I am so glad he is out of our house.
sometimes its familiar--genetic--think of who else in HIS family is similar or same. I bet there is one.
Man this is a fantastically educational channel. I'm really hooked on the videos
Anyone else actually having an anxiety attack just from the description no just me great lol
It me
My hamster looks at me like that if he's food bowls empty 😨
Sleep with one eye open.
GRIPPING YOUR PILLOW TIGHT
He's an and he's mad at you, maybe a little grumpy.
@@obviouslykaleb7998 begins to humb the pillow while looking at the hamster
I think people need to be careful with mixing up the sociopathic stare with the stare from people with mostly unrelated diagnoses like Schizoid and Asperger's. There can be some similarities, even if the person isn't a sociopath. I'm Schizoid and people often think my stare is sociopathic. Normal staring doesn't come naturally for people like me, so often we have to compensate in maintaining eye contact, which comes off as unnatural... because it is.
I have bipolar, and thankfully it’s treated pretty well for the most part. But if I’m having a manic episode and I’m angry at the same time. My eyes just empty and then sodas my face. I’ve never been able to figure out why.
@@rosalindsongsmith3670 I've seen the bipolar stare. Wide eyed, almost wondering. Can be off-putting. But it's not malicious or predatory so i wouldn't often confuse it for the stare of someone with ASPD.
@@asdfghjkzzxcvbn Believe it or not, I actually have bipolar. LOL. And my family constantly seems to think I’m not paying attention to what they’re saying because I get this look on my face And in my eyes like I’m completely spaced out.
It’s not the same, mate. Not only is it not in the same ballpark, it’s not even in the same universe. The psychotic stare is icy, and dripping in evil. It’s so powerfully menacing that you can even see it in your peripheral vision. My x has BPD, and when she “split”me in a deep psychosis, her stare was utterly horrific, almost defying description in its venomous intensity.
People with Asperger’s don’t stare they acid eye contact
"A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun" - W.B. Yeats
I stare at faces and a person's lips due to a hearing impairment. Now wondering if my counsellor understood my intense concentration on her facial expressions and reading lips due to a hearing deficit.
I’m sure they know, unless you have other traits of sociopaths, and I’m guessing since you are watching this, you don’t. :)
I'm sure you're fine. Inspecting someone's lips and glaring into their being are two different things
Oh, I'm sure you're fine 😊 People stare for many different reasons, boredom, deep in thought etc. But when someone experiences this type of stare, it is absolutely chilling. I've experienced the "psychopathic stare". It is literally haunting...even to this day. You should not worry 😉
Diana Boughner you have nothing to worry about with your context. I have an acquaintance with similar circumstance and it is a different look
@@gickygackers oh, thank you. I wondered if my intense stare would be misinterpreted as what you speak of as the "sociopathic/psychopathic" stare. 🤔🙄😁
Love this guy! Makes many awesome points, trying to make the manifold "constructs" apply to my life, and it's WORKING. Thank you Dr. Grande.
I have watched many of your videos in the last few months during this period of research : being a willingness and a need within myself to understand human behaviour more based on my experience growing up with people who exhibited maladaptive behaviours, thus affecting me personally and in my development as a human being. Somehow I developped great empathy for these people in my life propelling me on a path of needing to understand them. I left the broken and damaged nest very young. I was very fortunate to meet so many caring people along the way. I felt safe and secure in my travels to a better place most of the time. During my teenage years, I felt I needed space from the dysfunction surrounding me in order to grow into a better human being. I knew it was not 'normal'. I will not describe how I set myself on a better path, yet it has had a lot to do with creating a loving space for myself deep inside and by making an effort to exercise positive thoughts. And yes, I learned a lot from random caring adults on my way. At the same time, understanding and compassion for people with maladaptive behaviours continued to grow during the course of my life.
Your videos have allowed me to bring more insight into my experience. I want to thank you for your efforts.
I really appreciate your style of presentation and you are true to the concepts announced in your intros : scientifically informed, insider look into mental health topics. Bravo! You are the best!
In my conclusion, your various presentations have brought me to a point/place where I finally understand that my love and kindness towards the people in my life demonstrating difficulties with equal give and take in our relationship(s) will most probably not bring me the love and comfort I would appreciate in those relationships. You have helped me come to terms with this difficult reality. You have been an amazing support on this end in/of my human journey. I value your objective approach very much. Again, thank you!
I'm pretty sure I was on the receiving end once of the stare. It's something I've never seen before and hope to never experience again. I was in the cashier's line to pay for my goods and a man came up kind of out of nowhere and he wanted to buy a gift card without waiting, he came up to the pin pad I was using and started talking to the cashier, I hadn't finished my transaction it felt really awkward and I asked him if he could just wait a couple of moments till I finished, at that moment I received that stare, very bone chilling, it wasn't an angry stare it was a intense wide-eyed strange stare. That stare gave me the creeps so bad I had a employee of the store walk me to my car.
I’ve started to binge his videos this past weekend. With this, the problem is I’m a Marine and I have been highly trained to have this stare. At this point, I don’t think I can get rid of it if I tried.
Also, I’ve been trained to appear emotionless (I’ll go home and eat some Ben and Jerry’s st night after a hard day) and have a shallow affect. We also are trained not to have much to any fear and distress. I know my staring makes people uncomfortable, so I am actively trying not to do it, and I remind myself to try to do like a quarter of a smile. But, that’s where it ends. No lying (that’s highly punished) being manipulative, and just being an overall tool. Marines are the people who will help a person whose car broke down in middle of the night on a back road. We have been trained not to have much fear, and we do care about people. We risk our lives to save civilians overseas (I’ve deployed myself). My point of writing this, see if they are a vet because it could just be that they were trained to appear that way.
I don’t think I’m a psychopath, but I have been trained to be fearlessly dominant. I give a shit about people, but I think people in the military are trained to be superficially a psychopath, or at least appear that way, lol.
Yea..the speaking in 3rd person is something that's randomly thrown up by random.people like its something to be concerened about.
Lolz
Thats the very first thing we are taught.right after the words.( please..thank you and your welcome) are deleted from our vocabulary
And
If your still reading this
Why does the Marine really smile at the photographer?
It's because he has been trained to kill everyone in the room In 2.5 seconds.
i often wondered if people simply jump into conclusions associating 'stares' that made them uncomfortable as psychopathic.
Not military, but former prison officer, bouncer, private security operative, and support worker at mental health hostels, and I know exactly what you mean. You get so used to turning fear off, your brain just gets used to it.
I think you’ve been trained to disassociate more so than have true psychopathy. You still have the emotions, you just aren’t acknowledging them.
@@Nutmeg142 yep
It's mainly A and C, dominance and manipulation. Psychopaths want complete, absolute control over their environment and no potential threats and they will sometimes do pretty crazy things to maintain that power. If they sense a threat they often go after it. An irony here is that a victim is often simultaneously a threat, the reason being that the psychopath senses that the victim (usually an empath) can see through him and can expose him, as the victim seems to know that the psychopath is in reality a cowardly, worthless shitbag. This is more or less unconscious but it comes out in analysis.
I recently was a member at a gym where a man did this to me, but in stealth looking into a mirror. And he had this weird, evil, Sam Harris kind of leer permanently plastered on his face. I would see this man every day at the gym at the same time in the middle of the day. He would stay there and lift weights often for at least an hour, and I suspected that he was unemployed and some type of criminal possibly. I live in New Orleans and there are a lot of bad cops here and I suspect that he was an ex-cop who embezzled drug money. I just had that feeling. Part of the reason I quit this gym was because of this lowlife. Gyms tend to attract narcissistic and psychopathic people.
Daniel Gontar could u explain empaths to me? I’ve been hearing of them ALOT recently. And I’m curious now
@@obviouslykaleb7998 look up Psych2Go vids, lot of info there 👌🏾
Daniel Gontar ...good call brother!.....ignore the haters in the comments....and stick with your gut feelings!.....
Although your theory might be a little off .....on this dude’s life story .....your gut feeling on the Danger ,being in this mentally unstable persons presence was guaranteed accurate!
Our brains are transmitters and receivers on a very deep level which are tied to all of our senses for survival.
When your gut ,signals something isn’t right ....always believe it and analyze the situation and take actions from there ,this might need to be immediately or sometimes over a slow ,smooth period of time .
Cheers 🙏✨
Please tell me how to beat it. I say it because these people aren't even human. They have no emotions or real feelings and if they show feeling its a just fake drama show made to manipulate you. How do we turn these fake lying coward manipulative emotionless robots into humans?
@@prod.sinewavve9419 Little late but the best chance you got is the off chance of them getting diagnosed early in life(ike, childhood type early), and then training them properly from that point onward.
If otherwise, you're unfortunately left with simply hoping they're the type to have found a philosophical reasoning to consistently work against their nature.
Contrary to escalating a situation I believe a true sociopathic / psychopathic stare neutralizes those looking for conflict, almost immediately.
On the show The Sopranos, Tony called this Manson Lamps:
Best box set in the history of the world.
@@maxhammer4067 🤣🤣🤣
"I'll build a ramp, up to your ass. Drive a Lionel up in there."
Technically no. Manson was mentally ill but wasn’t a psychopath. Manson lamps just refers to “crazy eyes”, which aren’t necessarily intimidating. Psychopathic stare is different, it is meant to scare and intimidate you
@@lizc2023 you are exactly correct.
So I get the blank stare. But my experience with a loved one is not the same. This persons eyes narrow, as if judging my ability to attack them or my ability to defend myself. Very much a stare of dominance. This is my cue to distance myself quickly because this person is no longer the person I know and love, this person is now a warrior.
Funny that you say like a warrior because I've seen it in the movie Warrior. Koba does the stare. Like a cat
My mother would have this stare but with shaking eyeballs very weird. I even asked her about it once she got extremely mad at me
I need to find the articles, but the stare has been researched in brain neuro-imaging research associating this to amygdala malfunctioning along with brain characteristics that of reptile predators than mammals. After witnessing this type of eye gaze myself, I believe it is quite distinctive.
Gena P.
You are so right Gena, it is very distinct and feels like nothing else.
Thank you for this comment. I’ve seen it, can confirm it is absolutely nothing like dissociative or socially awkward staring, and the primal fear it inspires is almost indescribable. A reptilian predator stare is the best analogy I’ve read.
Every time I've looked into that stare I've gotten a piercing violating feeling in my abdomen, I'm glad I learned more about it and can handle it better now
One of the most creepy stare,that really looks like it belongs to a crazy serial killer,is the stare of Elizabeth Holmes.Truly bone-chilling
I’ve seen that pure evil chilling stare from my ex husband Narcissist two times. It was bone chilling like two deep dark soulless eyes piercing into your very soul
a demon looking at you.
Bruh come on. Why everybody ex gotta be a narcissist. I'm tired of hearing that. He found better pussy that's it
@@Jay-vy9rn looool ong
@@Jay-vy9rn hahaha 👍
I am sorry. I am aware of what I was doing to you. I hate myself but I just couldn't control it. I did not choose to be this way.
I dissociate, and that causes me to stare without blinking for long periods of time and not know or hear what is going on
Edit: forgot to add, this is under stress, higher the stress the worse it is
I can relate ! Same with me , I dissociate & go through the same !
Sweet, a comment not related to domestic abuse lol.
Yeah I get the dissociation stare. We can still track objects and people, and can see solid stuff, but we kinda half way point of just looking through everything.
Thou....I wouldn't say stress causes mine, but an actual overload of feelings. After my best sex or most romantic loving times, I'll dissociate the next day. The feelings n thoughts just overload so next day I'm just not there.
But also under lot of stress, with the feeling everything's bullshit, I'll dissociate.
"Like, I'm seeing through all this bullshit'
I got diagnosed as bipolar.
But I'm more thinking I'm just sociopathic in nature.
Haha, though it's funny. I'll give my shirt of my back where it seems a lot of others wouldn't in same circumstances. Because it's the concept I grew as a teen.
Show a sad face, say some compassionate words, even if it's altruism, be compassionate. Show love, show care.
I had to teach myself that so I could hang around peers and not be outcasted.
So now I'm the softest guy, giving a shit about everything and everyone, when I don't even like half of it at all.
I made myself it's duty as a morale human being.
Don't listen to the majority of society. But at same time listen hard too it and learn.
End of my day, as much as I fight it and wish for capitalism not to exist, it's a dog eat dog world.
Or is it ?? Is it lies, and everyone just socially manipulated into thinking it's dog eat dog world, and to get in first ? (Hahaha, capitalism is real, and to be naive is not really in my nature at all)
@@JoseRRodriguez No, CPTSD and extreme anxiety
@@TassieJake Very relatable. It took me years to learn how to say no to people, then more years learning it is okay to stand up for myself and F people who want to hurt me.
Caring too much, leads me to sadness and it makes me wish I could cut it out like a tumor since it has not helped out my life much- rather the opposite
Obviously, they is a lot of different types of staring. However, in the context of sociopathy and psychopathy its usually an aggressive dominance display with a blank affect to try and intimidate, but if you have given signs of being intimidated, then it can be associated with a slight smile. In non-human primates (e.g., monkeys), any eye contact in a situation stressful to them can precipitate an immediate attack because its interpreted as a challenge. The reason the sociopath is smiling is because you haven't attacked them when they are challenging you, so they know they are dominating you.
Thank you, Dr. Grande. So much to consider in understanding myself better.
Keep your eyes fixed on the horizon, deep breathing, slight smile on your face, jaw slightly tightened, be a warrior. I grew up in LA around gangsters and was in a lot of dangerous places a lof of times with killers and psychos. When you're around one it's like being around a demon or a tiger. You can't have fear and you have to be steady. I was practicing yoga and martial arts everyday and got to the point where I could walk into a room and slowly scan my eyes around and would only meet eyes with someone if I chose to. Many times a psycho would fix on me from my periphery, and the normal urge would be to dart my head over and look, but I wouldn't until I was sure his gaze was no longer fixed on me. It's kind of a psychic thing with them and you don't want to trigger their interest in you.
parabola yup! There are people you don’t want to make eye contact with.
For they sleep not, except they have done mischief; and their sleep is taken away, unless they cause some to fall./ Proverbs 4:16
You are trying too hard.
@@johnluke6122 thanks lil buddy, it's better than not trying hard enough.
@@earthbound_one jane's addiction
I have horrible social anxiety and will be thinking in my head about everything and not realize I just so happen to be staring at someone because I am in public and people are everywhere no matter where you stare at. I can’t help it, it just happens
Same
That’s not the same thing.
I wouldn't be concerned about it being misinterpreted. Like so many others have commented it's different. It's a very strange feeling when you get it, it's like the absence of any connection. It's like locking eyes with a crocodile, which I've done. It's not anger in their eyes, you're just a means to an end. You know it instinctively and it's incredibly uncomfortable and all you want to do is get away. A distracted gaze of someone dissociating from social anxiety is more like someone sleeping with their eyes open lol. It doesn't ring every alarm bell in your mind.
The floor is ur friend, I know how u feel
Thank you Dr. Todd, this is so helpful in my recovery from psychopathic abuse
Thanks for these videos. They help so much and your voice puts me to sleep in a good way! Very calming.
Murderous is how I perceived it when the stare was delivered toward me
Yes, the stare of my narcissist was dead and furious.
The stare of a predator
It is a demon looking through their eyes wishing they had the green light to go at you. Tiiiime is on my side....yesitis.
The terror experienced in that moment was something I could never NEVER imagine. I didn’t even know there was that level of fear was possible. I still can’t describe it, because it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
@@etherealbridge999 i did something bad and good
Yes its called the predatory stare. They look at you the way a lion looks at a gazelle
Too many people make that mistake you just made. Instinctive predator staring is very different than blank psychopathic staring. Maybe a rapist might look at you like a lion at a gazelle but never a true psychopath.
@Jeshua Satterlee liar
@@lilylily7072 exactly it's more than a predatory look it's a look of pure evil it's simply demonic
Reminds me of my ex who I believe was sociopathic... our first date he had this gaze and almost didn’t blink. I remember it made me feel uncomfortable but at the time I was struggling with self esteem issues and thought that was why ... should’ve listened to my intuition
@@pinkforeverlove1 they like to hit you when you’re at your lowest
Thanks Dr Grande, great content and a brilliant channel keep up the good work you must be helping so many people
My mother had this look in her eyes. She could scare anyone with that look. It sent chills down your spine. She made my nauseous just looking at her now I know why. She also told me once, she would break my legs if I did something wrong. We both locked eyes at that moment because we both knew that to be true, if she could get away with it and not make her look bad.
My mom used to make me faint by doing that. Children are so vulnerable to their mothers. Of course, you can guess the result when I fainted -- she would go ballistic screaming at me that she was going to "give me something to faint about." Hey everyone, be careful trying to intimidate your kids because you will terrify them more than you know or maybe more than you mean to. All discipline must be carried out with no emotional content attached to it. "You are grounded". Not "I will start your hair on fire." Peace all.
I saw it last week and it looked demonic.
Totally 100% demonic!
Right because it IS demonic.
These people have demons.
i saw it in a 14 yr old boy....and a young car salesman (not mine) who watched a sale that someone else made. It's anger times one thousand. Also saw it in a young man in a store! Is drug use causing more of this?
He was aware of his stare and would boast about it when he was drinking. Being an alcoholic, he was always drinking. The stare could be anything from reptilian to icy to hatred-filled. He has lived a highly criminally diverse life, something out of a movie. Bragged about that as well. I've observed the stare focused on me as well as on other people. The stare is real.
He also self-diagnosed as a psychopath on the Hare test. I would characterize it more as sociopathic. Ticks all the boxes.
Those tests are not to be trusted. 😮 Im diagnosed as a psychopath, but just based on things i have done instead of my actual mental state. 🤔
@Moerlboro Cop No, an actual diagnose made by a professional. Well, biased professional. Thats why i know it isnt a suitable diagnosis for me.
The psychopathic stare is real and i know someone who has it . When you see it you know its not normal and will leave you speechless.
rapists have it and also "dead eyes"
There is also the staring into space by a person with a balance disorder. It’s a coping technique to limit, and recover from sensory overstimulation.
I've seen variants of the stare many times. It comes from a _baaaaad_ place and no good will come from it. I've seen a person not seem to blink at all when stalking and being violent, with no change, even when confronted by the police. I've seen the deadened empathy that comes with emotional dysregulation that seems to come from BPD-style of overwhelm where the person begins to disassociate. I've also seen the stare that comes from anger and control, which is also with a complete failure of empathy, but seems to come together in a way that almost looks to exhilarate and delight, in a purely evil kind of way. It almost feels like if you look close enough, you'll see flames dancing in the pupils like in a cartoon.
Bottom line: Move along! The person's not in a good place and we don't need to dance with the devil, so-to-speak.
@Curteous Stop it!!! You can't fool us!!! You're all psychopaths!!! :)
I get that stare from BPD exactly when I begin to disassociate and am approaching the danger point. I've had multiple ex-girlfriends tell me 'I'm scared of you when you look at me like that'. Little did they know the damage was being done right then and there and would be purely psychological. But neither did I! Dance with the devil is funny... when I was 8 I got the 'Most Evil Camper of the Year' award in camp one year (they called me Damien as in the movie The Omen), and later one girlfriend nicknamed me the Tasmanian Devil, which i kind of like because he's insane yet still cute. He goes absolutely crazy yet never hurts anyone. This is basically me when I'm in the street and for whatever reason am raging, decompensating and looking someone or something to project it on. czcams.com/video/c54SvkgQ04A/video.html
@Curteous nope, so not the same.
Curteous facts
@Curteous it could also just be his way of coping with how people perceive him over something he doesn't exactly have control over. some people are extremely introspective in a toxic way, and it comes from a place of a desire to change/ be better
I worked under a sociopath for 30 years. I should write a book.
Linc Merc what line of work. My boss is a toxic narcissist. He only gives the store to people he targets. To everyone else he turns on the charm and charisma. He is disgusting the way he manipulates. I have to pretend I have no idea what a monster he is. I hate it.
@@overworked1084 I feel contempt towards your boss.
My older brother stared at me this way. He was 16 when i was born and we never really met til i was 16 myself. I thought i was getting to know my other side of my family but all along he was plotting to destroy and confuse me. I’ve always been extremely empathetic and i think this both attracted him and made him want to get rid of me looking back. He began being sexually inappropriate with me and did things that i try my best to never remember. And he had everyone convinced i was making things up to the point my memories still get mixed up even when family verifies and backs me up now that they all are no longer in denial. He did the same things and worse to other underage girls years after i ran away from my family at 17. I think that’s what finally made my family believe me. He was so evil especially to women and girls. He was molested as a boy by his female cousin and i believe that’s what started it. Then he was imprisoned for years which just made it worse. I’m upset that i still feel sad for him and have dated multiple men with similar characteristics always hoping i could save them like i couldn’t save my brother. But i just end up hurt in the end. I hope to break the cycle one day. But it all started with that stare and i definitely know it like the back of my hand.
The narcissistic/psychopathic stare is all about control and intimidation. I've seen it used as a way to express that they know their victim is right in a conflict but they won't admit what they've done or that they refuse to discuss it or refuse to apologize what they've done. "Don't even go there!" It's used to stop the communication and to leave the victim in a helpless state of mind. The victims typically steer the conversation to other issues since they have been left with no other option.