Alexithymia: What it looks like in a relationship.
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
- Im Ambivalent Alexithymic. I have Alexithymia. This Channel will be about that topic. I will be giving my insights as an Alexithymic person. The Good Doctor video clip is used under the Fair use law for educational purposes. I do NOT own this video nor receive monies for it. All rights go to Sony Pictures, ABC Channel & David Shore
This is one example of it. It can be complete opposite where you rationalize everything instead of allowing yourself to feel the emotions bc you don’t know what emotion you’re feeling or had a hard time putting a label on it.
Yes. Well said.
Yes this is common. Stressfulness however IS emotion. You should explore that to see what makes you that way.
I have to write a paper about alexithymia but had no clue what it looks like. So I was happy to see this clip to help me understand it better. Thank you!
Oh wow cool! You in college? This give me hope because I thought no one was trying to study this still. We need all the help we can get. Were on Facebook and reddit in groups struggling to feel and show partners love.
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic Yes I am :) I'm in a communications class and I had to look up stuff from a distinguished journal, and that particular journal had brought up alexithymia in one of their articles. It was pretty fascinating.
And yeah, it is hard trying to get the word out, but you got one person to look (me), and I am grateful that you put up clips for better understanding. So just keep trying, keep putting stuff out there. It may take months, years, who knows. But you never know who will need this.
@@clyk48 great. I'm also writing a book about Alexithymia. I'll probably never finish because I keep finding new stuff.
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic I want to read it!!!
I'm nowhere near as severe as this character but i recognise parts of how he acts. The hesitation before intimacy (or any activity that requires emotion to make a decision) and his "I don't know". I say that a lot in my relationship when my partner asks how I feel. It became a bit of an issue and we delved more into do I really not know or can I find out but digging more. Turns out if I examine the details I can identify how i feel, but it really is like climbing down into a complex cave system with the answer at the bottom
Yeah exactly!
This is scarily accurate. Except you can also internalize everything like I do!
It doesn’t help when you’re asexual and everything is already more confusing due to that. It’s all really complicated and knowing why quality time sometimes feels. Wrong? It’s beyond me, and makes it really hard to enjoy my relationship without constantly overthinking everything.
Good point!
Can’t wait to see what you do next. You have done an amazing job on both the videos.
More to come!
Wow I have 1K views. I didn't think I would. Thanks All!
It seems that to date these days, people have to be pseudo therapists, and aware of too much psych stuff. At least that is what my most difficult experiences point to.
Trying to be so aware may possibly lead to dating disillusionment or dating fatigue.
Yes i agree.
Don't have to be therapists, just have to learn patience and tolerance to find the true cause/a solution when something is wrong
I can appreciate the need for patience and tolerance in romantic relationships,@@peachypeachypeach
Romantic relationships seem to take more than patience and tolerance, imo.
Lastly, I stated "pseudo therapist", instead of a 'therapist'.
To be perfectly honest Shawn deep down didn't really care for Carly, because every time Layla came in the picture, he felt pretty calm and more attached to her, so his condition had nothing to do with this video in particular, it's just due to the fact that he really didn't have any deep affection for Carly to begin with.
I don't aquiesce. Shaun was learning how to date and have a relationship with Carly. She is still a stranger to him whereas Leah was already a friend who had gotten past the touch barrier because they already had a non sexual relationship. He would have done the same thing with Leah because he never had been in a sexual situation before.
As someone who isn’t familiar with the whole show, this small scene did provide a good example.
Shawn doesn't have as much trouble as this when he was getting it on with Lea because deep down he loves Lea. He was also addicted to having s*x with Lea plus he willingly adjusted his schedule, routine and environment (eg. Shower placement) just for s*x with Lea. That's a big thing for autistics.
As for Carly, Shaun just didn't really care and just tried to make things work out because Lea was not an option for him at that point in time.
Carly tried her best but still Shaun will not love her the way he loves Lea.
Even as autistic and alexi, we do have preferences and I can see that in Shaun lol
@@ayuu. which once again proves my point that we all have preferences and standards on the type of person that we romantically desire, a person that says that they don't have a preference is the same as a person that says they like all types of music, which is a complete load of BS.
@@frankfarmer7706 yes, I'm supporting your point for the very first comment you posted that Shuan prefers Lea if you didn't realize.
As for "don't have a preference", it's not bullshit because I do met people who doesn't have a preference sexually and literally just take anyone coming their way. So yeah. Whatever rocks their boat.
As for the music reference you mentioned, I'm a working musician and play all sorts of music. I don't have particular hate/dislike on any genres because every genre and songs has its pros and cons. It's always something to learn for me and I love that.
To you it's BS because you haven't met people or versatile musicians
who are like this. To me it's not BS because I do met them. Thus to each of their own.
You're putting a lot of the burden on the other character. And I think that sucks. He should have been the one reading all the books and not making the mistake. Not her. External locus of control. Take responsibility should come first.
Yes but he doesn't have knowledge of Alexithymia just like she doesn't. He knows about his autism but not Alexithymia. There is not alot written about Alexithymia especially helpful books.
i am responsible mom and dad i am !!!! oh wait nvm wtf hehehe lol
The the way she turns around and lays down, so sensual.
I wish I could have figured it out in 8 seconds, it took me 30 years!
Thanks
Seen it in bpd and npd but didn"t know about autism. I've never worked w people who have autism.
Yes blends in so well that people think it's apart of Autism but it's a separate thing.
I was just wondering if it's often found in Cluster B! It is very common?
@@timefortee yes they have no clue as to their core values are. So they look to people in the environment and copy them. Character trait acquisition it is called. You have blond hair all the sudden they have blond hair or you like this sport or band all the sudden they like it also. Agnosia is basically a neurological term meaning lack of insight.
@@edgreen8140 Nice, thanks so much for taking the time to explain! If you have any sources I might learn more about that (alexithymia in cluster b disorders) that you have found truthful, I'd be quite grateful.
im an intp. Does alexithimia have any correlation to this personality type?
I would have to research that type
I'm just trying to learn this because I've never heard of it
Its not well known. It's not treated as a diagnosis or disorder so people don't know about it
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic Right, I read about that
Yeah it's when someone suppresses their emotions to the point they don't feel them anymore can't detect them etc. Or they don't understand the emotions they have and can't tell the difference. Happy and sad may feel the same etc
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic Right, it's like not telling one's heart rate, and not certain if that heighten rate is caused by either anxiety, love, or just from exercise.
@@jalejablonsky2396 exactly. That's called cognitive Alexithymia. Affective Alexithymia is not experiencing emotions like fear during a dangerous situation.
I don't have the same difficulty as Shaun, but I do find it difficult to know what I want, how I'm feeling... to tell others. Does that mean I have Alexithymia?
Yes. That's definitely Alexithymia. Its 2 types of Alexithymia.
Damn, this is me
It's ok. It's me too.
Just curious, besides of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2, I was also diagnosed with dismissive avoidant attachment style, resulting in alexithymia.
What I'm curious about is, could this lead to impotence or erectile dysfunction? I do get aroused. . .But my mood dies really fast. . . It's like a roller coaster, one moment, I'm arpused, and I'm not after a few mins. Is this common?
Interesting. It could be as Alexithymia has to do with Interoception which is knowing what is going on inside your body. Arousal would qualify as interoception. So is say yes. Plus bipolar itself has mood swings from mania to not so that's Also a factor
I wouldn't say it's erectile dysfunction though.
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic but I can't perform normally, doesn't this count as ED, due to a psychological factor?
@@alexong2542 I don't have experience with that to confirm. I would ask a doctor.
I would say performance issues go in hand with alexithymia. I'm not sure if I have depression or bipolar disorder coupled with a personality disorder or asperger's syndrome. Idk I cant tell..... but I know its really hard for me to get used to a new partner sexually. I feel this rush in my heart and breath when trying to get sexual but It doesn't connect to arousal the initial months. I found that slow breathing helps and more slow touching instead of long kissing works because long kissing doesnt really do too much for me and gets boring plus it builds the anticipation too much for your partner and yourself. Also, just jerking it or having her jerking your member to initiate sex is way easier once you are comfortable with her. I say that because as I said kissing and waiting to get aroused rarely if ever works.
After the "getting hard" part is a "breeze" I've found that I have to concentrate a lot to feel/stay aroused. Concentrating on the sensations on my body, sometimes her body, sometimes fantasies in my mind. Just shuffling between those to see which one works that day. It's been a uphill battle in every relationship I've been in to stay engaged sexually with my partner because it really is easier to jerk off and go to sleep.
I can't read that fast.
Sorry. It was my 1st video and the editing was bad.
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic I'm sure your information is excellent but generally, I can't follow your videos. There just isn't time to read snd digest the information before the next slide obliterates the previous one. An easy solution would be to re-edit all of them and add a voice over narrative. The information presented is intense and even if many of us are faster readers, it's one thing to skim read, another thing entirely to digest and fully comprehend an idea before trying to grapple with another. Voice-Overs & Editing would not only improve your presentations, but would serve to far more effectively convey essential information. Many thanks for you work.
Yes I will work on that when I can.
👍👏👏
It's good and all but no way a woman would out so much effort in real life about this condition.
She would try and fail because she doesn't know and won't accept some aspects of it.
Pfft. Nice try. All I feel when I am close to someone is I AM GOING TO BE SICK TO MY STOMACH, except it's just my every fiber, BODY AND SOUL TOGETHER, SCREAMING for a barf bag 😂😂😂😂
This too ^^^^^^^^^
Wait i thought alexithymia was when a person had no emotions
One type is. That's called Affective Alexithymia. This video shows Cognitive Alexithymia The other type. Cognitive is when you have emotions feel them but don't recognize them. Affective is when you know you are supposed to have them but don't.
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic oh i thought there was only one category, thanks for the clarification
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic also a question that popped up in my head a few weeks ago, can a person go from being emotionless to having them? or is that not possible
It's possible but it depends on the circumstances. The more a person knows about themselves the easier it is to display emotions.
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic like, a person really close to them suddenly fainting from a heat stroke?
I’m 20 years old, and may have alexithymia or be anhedonic. I literally cannot tell, I have trouble recognizing people I know that isn’t family or friends, I have trouble stacking things in a balanced way and I literally haven’t felt emotions of any kind since 2019. What is it that I have? Everywhere I ask no one replies, I just want answers so I can get better
Trying to help myself about it does nothing as nothing makes me feel even frustration. I just want it gone and I’ll stop talking about it. I’ll be thankful as well since I really want help for this
Sounds like Alexithymia. There are groups you can join like Facebook and Reddit or Discord. I can send you links I am in all the groups as well.
@@AmbivalentAlexthymic ok, I’ll accept it, I’ve been wanting help for it for long
@@refreshingnoodle8118 discord
discord.gg/cphJVTpy
@@refreshingnoodle8118 Facebook
facebook.com/groups/TheAlexithymiaUnicorn/?ref=share
@@refreshingnoodle8118 another Facebook
facebook.com/groups/264825290531193/?ref=share
Is she dressed like Snowwhite... Is he feeling her through vicarious empathy and her doubts and hers cause undo stresses, She only has to experience her own self doubt... So much to be said
Yeah