15 Wedding Registry Tips
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
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my tip as a newlywed would be to look at if things are dishwasher safe! this is coming from someone who has kitchen utensils and lots of other kitchen stuff that have to be hand washed 🙃
Yes!!! That's an amazing tip! My husband's grandmother and mother reminded us of this when figuring out what we needed, even though or wedding was gonna be small and we were making it more as a future list of things we wanted or needed later. Thanks for sharing this with other engaged couples! 💜 Also congratulations!
Great tip! Thank you!!
Not engaged.
Not dating.
Still watch this because I find it inexplicably entertaining😄🍦
Same! 😅
Same girl same!
Hearing that “Well hello lovely humans.” Just puts me in such a good mood 😁
I JUST GOT ENGAGED!!!! Now I have to rewatch all your videos and pay extra attention! I appreciate you so much!
Congratulations! 🍾🎉
Congrats! Just relax and enjoy the ride don't stress too much!!! This is gonna be a fun time for you!
@@cjmccullers thank you!
@@lizpoison7205 We are going to have a 2 year engagement, so I am definitely going to go slow and enjoy every minute!
@@imnewhere9 that's us too! Just got engaged at the end of May! Happy planning :)
Please do a video on what u know/how to plan an engagement party
Erin Smilley ooh yes this would be so helpful!
Yes please, or something about a bridal showe
I would be so interested to hear your thoughts/advice on a honeymoon fund registry rather then a gift registry
Same here! I don't want/ need more stuff. But I could definitely use financial gifts/ help.
Same!! That's what my fiancé and I are planning to do!
If you make a wedding website through Zola, you can add a page for the registry and only list your honeymoon fund on the registry. That’s what I did.
There are all sorts of honeymoon registry websites, you can just google search it! and then you would add the website link to your invitations just like a regular gift registry
I think you should only register for things you actually WANT, and if that’s a honeymoon - then absolutely you should ask for that! There are a ton of options out there for funds too. Some sites have where you can register for gifts and have a honeymoon fund on there as well. Best of both worlds!
One of the best registries I heard of was a couple who was renting and decided to have their registry at a hardware store so they could build their home. Asking for financial gifts is also a great idea
Can you pleeease make a video about wedding websites and how you feel about them?
I would be interested in this as well. Great idea!
Don't store your Kitchenaid mixer on it's side! The lubricant will leak out and you'll have to get it repaired. Trust me, I learned the hard way.
Also don't lift it by the head! Always from the bottom or the back.
Here in Belgium it's becoming mostly the norm to give cash gifts with a card or another fun way to present it. The last couple of weddings I went to even just had a bank account number on the invitation and I honestly kind of love that.
Sure, it's less "romantic" or whatever, but it's very convenient for both the guests and the couple. And if you're going to gift money anyway, it's easier and safer for everyone to not have to deal with the cash. I just make sure I get a really nice card to give the couple at the wedding itself so they do have some physical "gift".
Same in NY
please do a video explaining all the parties we have to throw from engagement to wedding! SOS I don't even know where to start!
I agree with the wide range of wedding gift prices,I was one of those guests who was in school/ working part time so I went straight to the least expensive albeit important item and bought the blow dryer 🤪my friend was happy . To supplement the gift I also bought her favorite hair products and accessories
I *love* buying one or two items off a person's wish list and then using those as a springboard to think of other things to go along with them. Kinda like a themed or personalized set. Did that for my cousin for Christmas (we draw names, so we only buy a gift for one person within a specified budget). I got her a feminist cross stitch pattern book and a magnetic needle keeper from her Amazon wishlist, and a "girl power" zipper pouch and dog-themed tote from Blue Q to go with them. So half the items were things she outright asked for, and half were things I was reasonably sure she'd like and use.
Rehearsal Dinner video PLEASE!!
Watching in 2021...when she mentioned she made bread once...SOURDOUGH to be exact...I was like, "Ahhh...sweet Jame....just wait...bread baking will come." :)
Please, please, please, send out thank you notes for both the wedding and bridal shower. My sister-in-law decided to wait and send thank you notes after the wedding to save on postage and stationary, but so many people felt as if their gifts weren't appreciated or that they weren't received at all and it was a total nightmare for my mom (who received many comments about how rude it is not to thank someone for a registry gift). Even if it's an email, please show your gratitude for the gifts and sharing your special day!
Jessica Lynn when I hosted a bridal shower for my sister, I had envelopes on the gift table alongside a sign saying “please write your address on here”. After the shower, handed my sister the envelopes and she just had to pop her notes in. She still had to make thank you notes and write them (i guess you could also make the notes if you wanted to so she could just fill them in), so it doesn’t sound like that much of a time saver but she said it was really helpful. (Plus I think it’s a bit of a prompt! “Here’s the envelopes now go home and fill them!”)
I personally love cards...i hate it when either people dont send a card or think saying “thanks for all the gifts” on the Facebook album is good enough.
Just buy all your stamps at once. Account for 3-4 stamps per household when dealing with wedding. (Save the date, invitation, rsvp or bridal shower thank you card and finally a wedding thank you card) but remember it’s per household not per guest.
I just got engaged two days ago😁😁😝!!!!!!! Ahhhh now I’m watching all of your videos and definitely paying attention😘💖💖
The idea of thank you notes baffles me! Where I’m from they are not a thing and I was so confused when I first heard americans have this tradition... sending people a card to thank them for coming?
Why not just thank them there at the wedding?😂
the thank you notes she's mentioning isn't for coming to the wedding, its specifically for the gift. A lot of time people just send a gift and don't go to the wedding for whatever reason, so a thank you card is nice to say you appreciate the gift.
Have multiple registries. A honey fund that doesnt charge for cash and online contributions and a website where you can add items from across different sites into one registry.
Hello Jamie! Can you offer some insight on doing a sweetheart table with the wedding party sitting with other guests and their dates. We are less traditional, but we do have a wedding party. I like the sweetheart table idea, just working on the other details. Thanks!
You have been the MOST helpful youtuber!! I love watching your videos!
I added tools, drills set, ladder, air purifiers, a sparkling water machine, fridge organizers lol 🤷🏻♀️
Love your videos! Please please do a video on lunch weddings. Thoughts, concerns suggestions, timeline and anything else. I would appreciate it so much! Getting married in 2 months 😁
3.5 years of marriage. Our guests were disappointed in our registry BUT we were living in postage stamp studio. I wish we would have gotten the new pots and pans still using my sister's college set lol
I can relate to much to the utensil part! My fiance and I bought our own utensil set and I'm so glad we went in person. I didn't know that I'd a prefer a heavier not flat piece but I did! Good thing we picked them up in store!
We put gravity chairs on our registry 🤣 we don’t even have a yard to put them in yet... but someday when I have a yard and a deck I will CERTAINLY be wanting those awesome gravity chairs!
Congrats on 40k! I did my registry super early and now the more time goes by I keep second guessing stuff and considering adding more locations, so I needed this!
Congratulations on 40,000!!! What?!!! Thats awesome! I will continue watching every video even though we're married now. I love LOVE your videos and they inspire me so much still to help other brides create their dream weddings, which I hope some day to do 💜💜💜 Your videos made planning our wedding so simple and easy, compared to what a mess it would have been if I hadn't found them! Thank you for helping us even if you weren't there in person! We love you Jamie 💜💜💜
Hi Jamie, I’ve been a subscriber and watching your channel since your backyard wedding video. Could you possibly do a venue themed video like your dinner style video. I’d like a wedding in a conservatory or a barn, and I know many people like the churchy banquet hall style venues. I just want to know the pros, cons, ins, and outs of different venue options.
Hi Jamie.. Congratulations on 40k. You deserve 1mil easily.
1. Thank you for your videos. You have no idea of how your videos bring me back to some form of sanity in this wedding process.
( I am from a different continent altogether, so our wedding culture is rather different and I am not able to directly apply your advice,
but your voice and enthusiasm and sensibility just makes me feel better when I want to pull my hair out.)
2. I did find a number applicable and sooo educational. Keep it up.
First comment YAY! Hi from Canada :) Getting married in September and your videos have been amazing! CONGRATS ON 40,000!
My wedding is in 2 months and we did a honeymoon fund. We bought our house 4 years ago and are paying for most of the wedding, so we're broke! lol So we are hoping this will allow us to go on a honeymoon!
Dear CZcams algorithm,
I'm watching a video on wedding registries. Chances are, the advertisement for any dating apps are completely and entirely irrelevant to my current or future needs.
Sincerely,
A bride-to-be
What are your thoughts on not having a gift registry at all?
Rally Stanoeva -yes, would love to hear her thoughts on this as well.
Rally Stanoeva everything I’ve read says that guests really don’t like this. They will still feel the desire to get you a gift but will be shopping blind with no idea of what you want or need.
If you really don’t want any gifts, I recommend you recommend a donation to your favorite charity(ies) in lieu of traditional gifts. ☺️
My husband's culture thinks that registries are rude, so we aren't doing one. We had to explain on our website that due to us holding a specific cultural wedding, we were upholding certain traditions, and the lack of registry was one of them. People are starting to get their invites and the older generation from my side are calling my mom confused. Good thing we explained the whole thing beforehand!
Yeah, pretty uncomfortable asking for anything and we really, really don't need any more stuff.
Whitney Lessem in our family/friend groups people just give money. So the lack of registry just sort of indicates that. Every wedding I’ve been to, I’ve given a cash gift
Could you please please please do a video on how you organized your decor and designed your legend/map for your venue?? I need organizing help!!
You literally read my mind creating this video! I was just trying to look up registry tip videos earlier today and all I could find were mostly haul videos (so not helpful). Thanks again and keep up the awesome content :) p.s. Le Crueset Dutch ovens are so worth it. I bought mine using credit card points several years ago and it is easily one of the most used items in my kitchen #treatyoself
Le Creuset (leh crih-say). You can find them at Marshall's/TJ Maxx or any outlet store 🙂
In my wedding experience, most of the physical items are given for the bridal shower, and guests give money for the wedding itself (usually to “cover their plate.”) it’s interesting to see another point of view.
Would love a video on specifically honeymoon funds! :D love all your videos keep rewatching them! (From the UK)
The “be yourself” advice is something that I’m doing. It pays off tremendously!! I ended up registering with Zola and since my fiancé and I are huge Disney fans, we added Disney home items from shop Disney and so far people have purchased all of them! I’m so happy! 😃
This channel has being very helpful for my wedding, it's next year. I did have a lot of questions about the register, since we can only afford a small wedding and can't pick that many things
Congrats on 40k! Here in Ireland, people generally just give cash and that's widely accepted and the norm(at least in my experience). I'm quite happy with that because we're living together now but in a small house and I'd rather put that money aside until we have a bigger house and can use it towards furnishing that.. Plus not having to worry about a registry is one less thing to do while wedding planning 😂
Great video! How would you suggest "registering" for contributions toward a down payment on a house? We're already living together and have nice stuff but could use help upgrading our place more than anything.
Yes! my fiance and I are just about to finish our registry!!
I appreciated the Pirates of the Caribbean reference!!! 😂❤️
Making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who was really nice. Thank you notes will be coming there way.
I have already made mine I just need to get married, then and if gifts were given then we can fill out the names and send them off.
Girl you’re at 40,000!!!! Congrats!!!!
Woo!!! I just gave you a virtual high five! *** getting married in November... sending save the dates this week...updating registry umm NOW! thanks for the great info and video :) keep on keepin on!
First time commenter! I've been engaged just over a year. Our wedding is September 1st (9/1/19 it's a palindrome!) And one thing I know I am SO glad I've gotten and already made use of is a gift log, I just got a simple basic one on amazon, so it's not wedding themed or anything, but it has a place for the date recieved, who gave it, what the gift is, and whether or not you've sent a thank you note! I know for sure it's going to be helpful going forward as well as making sure I DO send all my thank yous, and I'll be able to look back on it in years to come and see who gave us what
Girl, I've already made a registry like 3 years ago before I even met my fiance!!
Messaging You and Yours RIGHT now! This would be the perfect place for my wedding reception. Thank you so much for this video!
Love these tips! Another great video to send to my brides! Love ALL of your positive and informative content! You are passionate and fun and inspire me so so much! Thank you!
Omg! Its so funny you said that. I love a heavy fork. It makes me feel rich. 😂😂😂
Le Creuset "crew-say" its french. I absolutely love them. I used to work in wedding Registry. You did a great job with this video.
Just found your channel, getting married summer 2020 and you've been really helpful! Wondering if that hold registry function exists on the Knot or Zola registries? Trying to pick a wedding website host!
May bride here! Yay! Hope you're having fun and taking it easy but going into action already!
The knot is good at combining registries from multiple places and cash funds. We’re using them for our website. Zola I’ve heard mixed things about. Some people love it and some people said the gifts were more expensive than other places and we’re out of stock on a lot of items
Hello can you please make a video on eco friendly wedding ideas? Thank you I love your videos!!
My wedding is gonna be extra intimate, so I'm wondering if I should have a registry at all?
Like literally less than 20 people invited.
Our wedding was the same, and we had two. Amazon for cheaper stuff that we could use now or in the near future, as well as a registry on Zola, which is basically a big wishlist for us. Super close people will get you things, but it's also good to save stuff you like or want for the future, and go back to it later! :) we've purchased 3 small things off of our list so far already, one which we used at the wedding! It's totally up to you, but it's not bad to have a wishlist for sharing. We had gifts from family who weren't there as well, which was awesome. Congrats on being engaged! 💜
YES! You can still have a bridal shower and people will want to know what to get you.
I just got married a week ago and we definitely got gifts from people who weren’t even invited to the shower or wedding! People want to celebrate with you! Another bonus is if you use Target, you get a discount on anything that wasn’t purchased!
If you're going on a honeymoon, someone mentioned honeymoon fund! Maybe that is something your guests can contribute to!
Could you do a video on things that brides don’t think about? Like I was wondering about the exchange of rings at the ceremony. Do you wear your engagement ring like normal, move it to your right hand, or don’t wear it at all? Love your videos!
I love those lamps!!
Once again... I appreciate all the solid tips & tricks! I am a list crazy lady so I'll be using that one for sure. Same time next week?! 💕
Most helpful video on the internet THANK YOU
Is registering for camping gear or kayaks ok? Also do you have suggestions for how to phrase that we would prefer items be sent to our home since we are getting married in a different state than we live in?
I totally would. My registry will pretty much be all power tools, outdoor gear, home gym equipment, and some cooking items hahah. Let the registry represent the items you and your hun truly enjoy in your daily life.
So much wisdom. I love your channel. Getting married fall 2021!
Thank you so much for this video!!! I’m getting married in a few months and this was so helpful!!!!
As an FYI for brides and future brides: just because a store provides a registry service, it doesn't mean the employees or customers know how to properly use it.
For a family member's registry at Target, someone bought registry items for the wedding and random, non-wedding-related baby items in the same order. I think this person was likely shopping for the bridal shower and a _separate_ baby shower at the same time. Because the registry function wasn't turned off after the bridal gifts were scanned, the baby items were accidentally put onto the wedding registry. In the long run, it didn't really come to anything, but we do come from religiously traditional families. Fortunately, nothing came from this registry accident, but if certain people had gotten hold of the information that baby items had somehow ended up on the registry then there may have potentially been a rumor that the bride had gotten pregnant before they were married. Thank God it didn't happen!
Alternatively years earlier, a friend registered at Walmart when she was getting married. At her bridal shower, she ended up with ELEVEN crock pots because the guests didn't let the cashiers at checkout know that they were buying registry items. My friend--the bride in this incident--took the crock pots back and exchanged them for other registry items that she needed.
I would just like to tell you THANK YOU! I have pages of notes from your videos I’m getting married in June of this year and your videos are so beyond helpful!
I don’t want items (apartment living, no updates needed/desired, no room to store more bedsheets/blankets/towels than we already have).
We are currently saving for a house though, so that is the ONLY thing on our registry. What are your thoughts on this? How can I make sure I get the “no items please” across politely? How do you think people may react to this?
It’s open for any sort of amount, so it really covers everyone’s price range. However, my cousin thinks it might be seen as rude because I could see how much money people were spending. But, wouldn’t I see this number on a traditional registry anyways? And, as someone who grew up in poverty, I’m not going to just judge the amount given, I’m just going to be thankful for the fact the person/household gave anything at all.
The idea of saying “just cash” or a cheesy rhyme seem awful. Another person said to not spend so much on the wedding and put that towards a house. I would love to and just get married in the woods with less than 30 people and some tacos. Unfortunately, fairly traditional Italian family on his side means a formal wedding and A LOT more people than I would ever have imagined. I already cut the guest list down to as small as possible without causing world war 3. I’m getting a used dress and married on a Thursday in an off season. The wedding still comes out to around 10,000 for 200 guests. Is it really seen as that rude to ask the cash you give to my house fund? Does it matter the cost of the wedding that might make people question my financial choices? Why does everyone need to voice their opinions on weddings???
HELP
TLDR-I don’t want anything, just a house. How can I get people to gift cash instead of a random hodgepodge of gifts because only contributions to a house fund was listed on the registry?
ModernTarte you can ask... but be prepared for gifts anyway cause maybe Grandma has been saving these lace doilies since you were born or great Aunty Marj wants to get you a “really nice” pie dish cause she still uses the one she got at her wedding. However I would think most people would give cash and you can appreciate the sentiment behind the few items you do get?
If you suspect a lot of your guests are more likely to ignore your request and give gifts anyway... then maybe try to find some things to register for so you have more chance of getting something you want or need?
I don’t think it’s rude to have a cash registry... I think at one point wishing wells had cash put in separate to cards (maybe?) but now we always put cash in the card (so they know we gave a gift and so the cash doesn’t get lost). But as you said, you know how much times on your registry cost so it’s the same really...
good luck!
I’m loving that middle part on you!
Congratulations Jamie!!! I love you tips. You are fun to watch and the tips are helping me so much as I begin my planning. Keep'm coming!
I would love to see more info on honeyfunds! :D Thanks, lovely! I love your videos!
Second this! Which honeymoon fund website is the best one to use - is it better to break out expenses/excursions or have one blanket fund, etc.
this couldn't have come at a better time, trying to finish up my registry now! thanks jamie!
What about a cash registry!
So there's 2 items on our registry.. Honeymoon and new home fund, w/o a min/max amount. Any thoughts on this? Is this rude or is it ok?
Izza Bianca Santos I think it will depend on the guest. Younger guests probably won’t care and will be happy to write a check of some amount. Other guests (typically older) like to get you more traditional things. But you’re definitely not alone. I’ve seen multiple people do this. One suggestion is put different, more specialized, cash funds on your registry. Like the amount of cash you’ll need for a specific excursion on your honeymoon, or cash you’ll need for a nice dinner on your honeymoon. That way it’s cash but people feel like they’re giving you something more specific
I think Jamie has a video where she briefly addresses this, saying it's a great idea to have smaller, more specific funds for your registry, just like Lexy said, such as things for your honeymoon rather than the entire thing. I know that can be hard, especially when you're already planning a wedding plus then trying to plan all details for your honeymoon. I recommend doing this, but instead of being super specific, if you have a place picked out or even booked, look into what services are offered, and what is available in the area, then make a slightly less specific one for a personal couples day, and maybe a special adventure or trying things for the first time like water skiing. Sorry for the long comment haha congratulations!
Hi Izzy! Thank you for posting this as my partner and I are also thinking of having a new home fund instead of physical gifts. I have no idea how to go about doing this so it's nice to see someone else who felt the struggle :)
I don't know if anyone would buy me one but an espresso machine with built in steamer is on the top of my registry. Cause I sure as hell am to frugal to invest in one myself lol.
Literally LOVE LOVE LOVE you! Your videos are so helpful ♥️ thank you!
Help! I’m getting married in September. I’m having a nontraditional wedding. How do I address that? For example, I’m having some brides men stand up on my side. I’m not getting married in a church and I don’t plan to do a lot of “traditional” wedding things.
Thank you so much! I’m getting married next year and you are such a great help!
Would love more DIYs. Loved the one with the sign :)
Love the video! Especially love your lamps!!
Love your look in this video
Soooo, I just sent out my invites and did my registry all online. Should I add more things from an actual store? SOS !!! 😂♥️
Thank you so much for your amazon list! I’m using MyRegistry.com and I’ll be adding some of those things for sure!
I just got engaged on Wednesday June 30, 2021 and I need all the help I can get!
Great video❤
Hi! I just got engaged and I’m watching all your videos! I have a specific question when it comes to registry. Do you register at 1 store or multiple stores, & what’s a safe number? 3 stores? I LOVE your tips in this video & im excited to watch more on my journey to my fiancé & I’s wedding day 😁💖
What if I want to add a store that doesn't cooperate with The Knot?
Oh man this is so helpful Jamie! I was just thinking we don't need to register, lets just have a fund for remodeling. What do you think of the Funds over physical gifts? Hope you hit 50K soon!
Hey Jamie! I saw on your Instagram that you were having a hair experiment to tone down the brass in your hair. Another tip is you can boil basil leaves in water and it will release a purple stain and you can add that water (without the basil leaves) into your shampoo and that will help!
What's the best way to do a honeymoon fund? I don't want some company to take a percentage of the money.
Cassie Paderewski
I’m using Zola and you have an option for guests to pay a small fee with their donation instead of you paying it at the end. I first experienced this as a guest and I didn’t mind it at all. It was small, like $2 or something. Just an option.
Hey Jamie. I was wondering if it is customary to have registry for all weddings? Is it appropriate to ask for a list even if wedding is low-medium budget? Thanks 😊
Where do you suggest I put our wedding registry on ? I forgot to put it on your Wedding Invite 😭
I know I'm 2 years late but where do I get those lamps?? Or how do I make them??
Is it tacky or low class to add an "experience" to your registry giving your guests the option to help you pay off debt? I have a lot of student loans and it would be great to knock a chunk off via wedding presents. Thanks!
Emily Boylan I need to know that too! I already have nice serving things, I just want a house and my student loads paid!
Using the fund to pay off your loans but list it as something else. Like “date nights” “honeymoon” or “first anniversary getaway”
People won’t mind giving you money (MOST people prefer it) but I do think people will be a little put off if you ask directly for them to help with your student loans.c
Wow. Beyond helpful.
When would you recommend registering? Im not getting married untill October 2020, but we are sending save the dates December 2019/January 2020 due to alot of out of state guests
In a similar situation as we have a lot of out of state guests that do intend on attending and therefore are going to want to make travel arrangements pretty soon. We're getting married at the end of April 2020 and we're sending out our Save the Dates at the beginning of August 2019. I started my registry pretty much right after we got engaged at the end of January 2019 but not very seriously so perhaps I was waiting for this video lol. So go ahead and register whenever, as in now since you don't have to actually make the registry "public" until you're ready (or it's complete). Also, I don't work for Macy's or have any personal motivation for sharing this other than it's just something I did but Macy's for example had a registry night recently at a local store and I found it to also be very informative so perhaps keep a look out for similar events. Even if it's June 2020, still consider checking something like that out because you have the luxury of time and from watching this, the registry isn't set in stone. Congrats!!
Random question: where are your lamps from? Are they faux plants inside or how do they work?
Does anyone have tips on which stores offer a hold on your registry? My fiance might be moving out of state for a new job soon, so we don't know exactly where we'll be living. It'd be SUPER helpful to wait to have it all shipped to us after the honeymoon, instead of trying to figure out how to get it from my current permanent address to our future one.
Hi Jamie! Recently engaged here! What are your thoughts on wedding registry websites that allow you to pull from a multitude of stores and even cross-compare items and prices? Do you have any recommendations for this kind of registry?
Lol oops my shower is in 3 months and I haven’t registered yet 😬 but we are tmr!!
Hi Jamie! Love you and your videos, I think I've commented before that I refer to you as "my wedding planner" to my fiance, lol. Quick registry question! We have been a couple for 10 years and lived together for most of it. My fiance, Chad, isn't a fan of registries...thinks it's imposing and pushy (even though I've told him guests live for them!) But I found a great alternative...and I don't know how it works! Could you give me some info on Honeymoon Registries!? Do I pay for everything first to reserve it and then get reimbursed as customers pay for things? I love the idea but am confused on the process. 💗 Thanks bunches!
Getting maried in exactly a week, and i still fell strange about expecting gifts and money from our friends and family, especially because it's a super small wedding.
On the one hand, it's only 28 guests, just our favourite people, so it doesn't seem very expensive, but on the other hand, we rented a big beautiful house for three days, everyone has a a bedroom and a bathroom, it's gonna be a long week-end, and the house wasn't cheap. In addition to that, we went with a vegan caterer, which isn't cheap either because there's not a lot of them in France. And for the three days, they won't have to spend a dime on food. In total, it's gonna cost us around 400euros per guest, which is a lot, so yeah, money's welcome. But it was our choice to get married and spend that money, we're thrity, we have jobs and income, why would the guests feel obligated to give us money ?
A long message just to say i feel weird about taking money from the people closest to us. Am i the only one ?