HOW to Pursue YOUR EX PROPERLY To Get Them Back (WHEN & HOW)

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  • čas přidán 8. 09. 2024

Komentáře • 324

  • @akishashoy6896
    @akishashoy6896 Před 6 měsíci +51

    I hear you, but me reaching out to him is a no no. I’m sticking to the NC for me so I can focus on my mental and spiritual wellbeing. I hope he does the same for himself. I still love him and I know he loves me but he has trauma he has to deal with.

    • @user-ke9tc3ue7f
      @user-ke9tc3ue7f Před 6 měsíci +8

      Me to sis fawk em what's meant to be will be especially if it was a long term relationship..... If he can forget me after 4 yrs then so be it 😂good luck sis 🤞

  • @Godanointed_1
    @Godanointed_1 Před 6 měsíci +72

    No contact gives me peace

  • @tanvirhussain7355
    @tanvirhussain7355 Před 6 měsíci +56

    I aint never going back. I am never gonna chase. Sure Its hurts. But It will hurt more if i let her do this again to me.

    • @GaryRSpicer
      @GaryRSpicer Před 6 měsíci

      Narcissistic people are not avoiding us, they are avoiding accountability for what they do and how their actions affect us.

    • @Colorado303Adventures
      @Colorado303Adventures Před 6 měsíci +3

      I feel this^

  • @kidyoda
    @kidyoda Před 6 měsíci +12

    "Scarcity creates value." Boom.

  • @HojaFPS
    @HojaFPS Před 6 měsíci +31

    ​​Its been 3 months now, I improved SO Much, lost so much weight.. got a nice job (before no job) i m... I m getting so much stronger. I start to feel more secure. I wanna be 100% secure tho before I reach out. I wanna get my license, I wanna buy a car, I wanna have a six pack (those are material things but I want them FOR ME, cause I always wanted it). If i m confident in myself. I want her back. She loved me. I felt it but she knew i wouldnt be able to change anything and she was right. I needed it to happen.

    • @sriarmyjibts4783
      @sriarmyjibts4783 Před 6 měsíci

      Did She broke up with u...?

    • @alex_skyd
      @alex_skyd Před 6 měsíci +2

      When you will achieve all that you will not need her anymore :)

    • @HojaFPS
      @HojaFPS Před 6 měsíci

      @@alex_skyddoesnt feel like i need her anymore its more like giving her the Chance and me aswell to grt to know esch other again when i m actually my self. Its hard to explain cause u obv dont know my whole back Story. But u are def right

    • @Usernameblankslate
      @Usernameblankslate Před 6 měsíci +2

      I’m glad you are working on yourself. I’m sure she still has love for you, but these things happen for a reason. You seem to be learning from it and it’s more than most people can say. Good for you.

    • @HojaFPS
      @HojaFPS Před 6 měsíci

      Thank you for your words. I learned ton of it, honestly my life had a 180 turn - it feels good to actually get forward in life. I never felt as good in my body as now and i m not even close to what i wanna achieve with my body. Same goes for other things in life. Its just weird to see on a rational side that she kinda had no choice. Because if she stood, then i d be still the same. I needed that. Eventho I never wanted it. I m still not ready but I think if i m becoming stable then ... idk she was the right person @@Usernameblankslate

  • @blacademic
    @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +13

    Watch the video through to get the FULL context. Do not break no contact if you are the dumpee.
    The video explains mainly what to do when the dumper reaches out. Especially when looking at the masculine essence in the relationship.
    After the dumper reaches out, how do you move things to where YOU want it to go without chasing them

  • @destiny2092
    @destiny2092 Před 6 měsíci +26

    Oh my goodness, it works! My guy and myself are back on track again! I thought we were done but communication is KEY!

    • @xannecorinnex
      @xannecorinnex Před 6 měsíci +2

      How long did it take him to reach out to you?

    • @destiny2092
      @destiny2092 Před 6 měsíci +1

      @@xannecorinnex things between us had been ongoing for a while, meaning not speaking. He reached out around my birthday (Dec) to wish me a beautiful day and that he missed me. I responded nicely but didn't really feel totally secure. They're was no more communication at that point until recently on Valentine's Day that's when we had a very serious heart to heart. A lot of it was miscommunication for both of us. I'm still taking things very slowly to make sure that we're both doing the right thing and so far I feel we are. Time will tell...
      One thing we both know for sure is that we love each other!

    • @jorgetremel3614
      @jorgetremel3614 Před 6 měsíci +1

      Can you describe your situation?

    • @destiny2092
      @destiny2092 Před 6 měsíci +3

      I will definitely give an update, I have a very busy schedule during the day. Later on this evening I will definitely reply. Thanks!
      I had given an update, it's deleted, not sure what happened 🤷‍♀️

    • @CatwalkPurz
      @CatwalkPurz Před 6 měsíci

      Updates please? 🙌 also, yes communication is important but •comprehension• is MOST important 😉

  • @LaTashala1080
    @LaTashala1080 Před 6 měsíci +12

    I don’t want him back. I truly know my worth and he never deserved me or my time🙏🏾✌🏾💪🏾

  • @rbgsista9236
    @rbgsista9236 Před 6 měsíci +73

    How about y'all wait to watch the video first before assuming

    • @Originalman360
      @Originalman360 Před 6 měsíci +3

      Naw they are too angry for that 😂 they are looking for a landing spot for their anger, hurt and misery! I was doing “no contact” but my wife and I are separated, not divorced! It wasn’t working for me because there are signs we can reconcile so no contact wasn’t working for me! Plus faith is belief AND action…

    • @CatwalkPurz
      @CatwalkPurz Před 6 měsíci +3

      Same but all that separates you and others is a piece of paper. No contact works. Here’s why… It allows you to disconnect and THEN see the big picture, clearer.

    • @rbgsista9236
      @rbgsista9236 Před 6 měsíci +2

      No contact worked for me, I made and still make changes I realizes I needed to evolve. Things I thought I worked on. But he has expressed interest again so it did work as far as attraction increasing.

    • @HolyDiver-dx6px
      @HolyDiver-dx6px Před 6 měsíci

      Ok

    • @Gbb93
      @Gbb93 Před 3 měsíci

      @@Originalman360and you’re the man. Men pursue.

  • @gangbang9024
    @gangbang9024 Před 6 měsíci +15

    No contact let me don’t have to deal with a delusional individual immaturity disrespect and it bring me peace ☮️

  • @Ishvone
    @Ishvone Před 6 měsíci +27

    It's that "you have to get what you want" vs "if it's meant to be then it will happen" and that was where I struggled. But there's always a power dynamic. Breaking NC often exemplifies their reasoning in breaking up with you.
    I broke no contact and reached out after a year and half but it put me on that "lower pedestal hierearchy" because it gives them the impression that you are nothing without them. That you're weak and they're all that you're thinking about even if you have your life in check in all areas - job, school, family, friends, status, etc.
    Personally the relationship will flow better when the dumper reaches out but sometimes you can't deal with avoidants.

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +13

      Watch the video, I am not saying you should break no contact first. This is ALWAYS after they reach out to you

    • @ninaziva4639
      @ninaziva4639 Před 6 měsíci +8

      ​@@blacademicUnfortunately most of the time avoidants won't reach out first. They're convinced that there's always something wrong with others but NEVER with them.

    • @DeaDellaFortuna
      @DeaDellaFortuna Před 6 měsíci

      @@ninaziva4639 not necessary. They will when they will feel save and they have a high interest level.
      They are not chasing but they will reach out.
      It can be different when the dynamic in your relationship was more that the non avoidant chased.
      There are severel reasons, but it doesnt mean that they wont reach out.

    • @DeaDellaFortuna
      @DeaDellaFortuna Před 6 měsíci

      wow, I think there should be a timelimit of chasing. If nothing happens within the first 6 month, you have lost the battle and should move on.
      Maybe, you finally should move on.

    • @alchemicalsoul
      @alchemicalsoul Před 6 měsíci +2

      ​@@DeaDellaFortunaAn avoidant I was involved with reached out after 7 months. Then ran again after 3. It's a cycle.

  • @mohammedaslam70
    @mohammedaslam70 Před 6 měsíci +10

    Today I finally gaveup on getting my ex back . I’m exhausted , haven’t slept well for 2 months . Now I’m working on moving on . My heart hurts . I have accepted and made peace with my heart . If someone knows any methods of moving on please help . Being a man I have responsibilities which I’m not able to fulfill . No one understands my pain not even my family . Never thought loving someone truely would be this painful .

    • @djTeKniiQ
      @djTeKniiQ Před 6 měsíci +1

      The pain leaves when it’s done teaching you!

    • @user-ke9tc3ue7f
      @user-ke9tc3ue7f Před 6 měsíci

      Sameeee 🎉🎉🎉

    •  Před 6 měsíci

      Make a list of 101 goals and start working on them! That will make you occupied and even give you a boost of confidence and motivation. In the meantime you will heal and you will notice a change in your perspective of that person.

    • @jovangarcia532
      @jovangarcia532 Před 6 měsíci +2

      Find hobbies my guy. Takes your mind off of things and you can meet new people. Been 3 months for me and it does get easier, but you'll still have cloudy days. Just keep swimming and working on you. Cry when you have to, wipe the tears and keep swimming.

    • @mohammedaslam70
      @mohammedaslam70 Před 6 měsíci

      @@jovangarcia532 Thankyou SOO much ! I’m on it 🫂

  • @user-or8zf2mh2r
    @user-or8zf2mh2r Před 6 měsíci +14

    I respect your videos. i do enjoy them. On this one, i disagree. Some people are just cold-hearted and selfish. They don't want to accept accountability for their actions of the part that they played to cause the break up to take place, nor were they willing to fix it while you were still in the relationship with them. That's a person who is showing you that the relationship for whatever reason has ran it's course 💯. We need to face reality, which is the hardest thing that the relationship is over, and that person didn't love you as much as you thought that they did. Not all the time, no contact works, and i can testify to that in getting back involved with that person. That person already has their mind made up that you were the worst person they ever met all because they don't want to accept accountability for their own actions. They don't acknowledge the good times that you had nor when you went up and beyond for them. All they remember is how you told them flat out how you felt and what you needed from the relationship that they just didn't care to do.

  • @FTBALLSTAR04
    @FTBALLSTAR04 Před 6 měsíci +8

    One method that I found to work is to. Yes, initiate and maintain no contact. But that doesn't mean no contact completely. Give them 5 or 10 days to themselves to think. Reach out once, don't be pushy to say. Hey, I've been thinking about you. I've been wondering you know. Would you like to meet up for coffee and converse? Whether they say something or not have that small conversation or not, and move on for 4 or 5 10 days if this repeats for a month Or 2 months and they don't say anything. It's really a time to move on. You need to give them the entire in space but you also need to reassure them that. Hey, I'm here. I care you're interested in them will create interest in you but to pour your power out. Every single time you talk to them is going to push them away. You have to meet in the middle. We're all human. We all miss. We all desire and we all deserve.
    And every couple and relationship is 100% different.

    • @DeaDellaFortuna
      @DeaDellaFortuna Před 6 měsíci

      Well, as far as I understood it, everyone is going to some phases of separation. The one who left you, doesnt realise that you are gone as he first is in the relief phase. He/she/it feels empowered and shows NO Interest level. Contacting now just would do 2 thinks:
      1. he/she/it wont realise that you are gone as you still stick around
      2. you confirm with your action that he/she/it does the right thing.
      Moreover, you do not generate the needed interest level.
      this phase everyone is going trough. The difference only is the time every person needs for every phase.
      Therefore, you really shouldnt commuicate during at least the first month. However, I struggle, if there are committments like children and flatt etc.

  • @OghenekomeNelson
    @OghenekomeNelson Před 6 měsíci +28

    Why should you pursue someone who left you in the first place? You showed them how much you loved them but they left anyway. If anyone one should be doing the pursuing then it's your ex. And if they choose not to, then you forget about them and move on.

    • @Originalman360
      @Originalman360 Před 6 měsíci +7

      Tell em why your mad Son 😂😂😂 u know u can simply NOT follow this page right? You know u can simply keep it moving right? I never understood folks blasting people on their own page but yet you made the choice to click on his page! Goofy 💩

    • @CatwalkPurz
      @CatwalkPurz Před 6 měsíci

      6:25

    • @user-or8zf2mh2r
      @user-or8zf2mh2r Před 6 měsíci

      EXCATELY and manipulators & narcissistic people have no heart they are cold. They also have double standards best to keep it moving!!

    • @Gbb93
      @Gbb93 Před 3 měsíci +2

      Unfortunately life and relationships aren’t black and white. Women expect men to pursue. And sometimes women break up because they want to feel like the man cares enough to put his pride aside and go after her. Believe me, it baffles me too

  • @MissSarahGM
    @MissSarahGM Před 6 měsíci +11

    This is maybe relevant for guys but not ladies. If your ex boyfriend (dumper) reaches out several times, as a woman you don't help him by offering a meet up or anything, nor do you say "let me know if you change your mind" : do not helps men (dumpers) to put you on the shelf and back burner. Especially if your dumper is avoidant attached or emotionally unavailable. If you position yourself like that, you set yourself up for ever breadcrumbs potentially. Coach I think you underestimate how male dumpers will reach out over months and even years to their exes, (and no, not within one month like you suggest, but more scattered reach outs), because they are still undecided, confused and like the validation.

    • @nicoleevaherbst7306
      @nicoleevaherbst7306 Před 6 měsíci +2

      Agreed completely. Even though I was the dumper and my ex boyfriend the dumpee he broke promises and did some pretty shitty things towards the end of our relationship. If you're a woman who broke up with a guy due to bad behavior/unchanged behavior or some betrayal then I don't think opening up the space for him to send breadcrumbs of insincere remorse is the ticket. This advice works if a relationship was more or less good but stuff like timing, lack of alignment or different goals pulled you guys apart. And even then in some cases these relationships come to and end and should stay that way. Reconnecting? Maybe. Getting back together? Probably not.

    • @robicelus
      @robicelus Před 6 měsíci +3

      I see cats for your future ladies and that's ok.

    • @nicoleevaherbst7306
      @nicoleevaherbst7306 Před 6 měsíci +2

      @robicelus I see you don't understand that isn't an insult anymore lol

    • @robicelus
      @robicelus Před 6 měsíci

      @@nicoleevaherbst7306 you're right dear. Cats need loving too

    • @robicelus
      @robicelus Před 6 měsíci

      @@nicoleevaherbst7306 you are right dear. Cats need loving too

  • @jenniferh.994
    @jenniferh.994 Před 5 měsíci +2

    The last 5 minutes, EXTRA IMPORTANT information on how to handle things. ❤

  • @lmart16
    @lmart16 Před 6 měsíci +3

    Don't do this. Reach out if you're the dumper, yes, but then just let them do their thing.

  • @stephenblock4319
    @stephenblock4319 Před 3 měsíci +2

    Man I’m so thankful that Coach is making these videos. He is helping me more than he could ever know

  • @joshuarenode8130
    @joshuarenode8130 Před 6 měsíci +3

    Im trying to attract my wife and family back I first thought experience in our marriage she runs out and it's was something that could be fixed I'm just hoping I get another chance with her again

  • @FrankiesFire
    @FrankiesFire Před 6 měsíci +1

    It’s been nearly 2 months since she dumped me and her last words were “we both needs to move on as we both deserve”. She appears to have moved on. I’ve been in no contact, but she has unfriended me on all social platforms and probably blocked my number. I’ve lost 25 pounds since breakup. I’m anxious, she’s a DA. I don’t think she will have a change of heart.

  • @yorosandrine2844
    @yorosandrine2844 Před 4 měsíci +1

    You teach very well.
    Everything you say makes sense and is well balanced. Both keeping dignity and also respectfully seize opportunity with intelligence

  • @babyluvjr
    @babyluvjr Před 6 měsíci +6

    Im sure Coach knows what he's talking about, i believe we r reading the title wrong

  • @gokuwufei99
    @gokuwufei99 Před 6 měsíci +12

    Ooooh lunch break about to be FIRE! Coach Blac trolling us now!? 🤣🤣🤣

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +8

      lol watch the video, my philosophy has not, and will not change. No Contact certainly works

    • @gokuwufei99
      @gokuwufei99 Před 6 měsíci

      @@blacademic I was there for the live, you're the best at what you do Coach :)

  • @cortinajordan9688
    @cortinajordan9688 Před 6 měsíci +3

    This information was ever helpful, but it’s been 2 months and 3 days and I’m at 19 days on N/C…. I believe myself it’s to early to break no contact

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +2

      Do not break no contact if THEY have not reached out to you first. Please watch the whole video. Don’t set yourself back by breaking no contact unprovoked

  • @randy-lg5xr
    @randy-lg5xr Před 6 měsíci +3

    An EX is an EX for a reason. What split yall up will always come back at some point. Please make a video about moving on, self improvement and how to be ready for the next relationship at the right time. I love your content but why is it always about an EX and not the next chapter of life

    • @DeaDellaFortuna
      @DeaDellaFortuna Před 6 měsíci +2

      Well, during no contact you are suppossed to work on yourself (aka self improvement) otherwise you will have trouble to get your ex anyway.
      And there are several reasons for a break up eg depression or overwhelmness- why should you end a more or less good relationship because of temporary issues? Nontheless, there are ppl who will always fight for love- this way they are able to proceed better (for a next relationship).

  • @junation7619
    @junation7619 Před 6 měsíci +24

    My ex is falling for the rebound. We were together for five years. Just last summer she told me I was her soulmate, now I don't even exist in her life.

    • @lastdragonx
      @lastdragonx Před 6 měsíci +6

      MOVE ON

    • @lyricmuzik5695
      @lyricmuzik5695 Před 6 měsíci +12

      Move on! But remember this. They always come back. You just wont want them when they do. Move on and be the King you were meant to be! Trust me I''m going through it now to bro. Fight through it. When you start remembering and hurting go straight to the gym. Put in the work out music (eye of the Tiger for me LOL) and wear yourself out. Then go home exhausted and rest then wake up and do it again the next day. You will never forget but you will get to a point where it gets numb and you're able to go and daily without thinking of them. Once the relief stage passes they will start to re-think their decision. Granted you we're not some abusive a-hole or something :) Hold your head! Peace King!

    • @alchemicalsoul
      @alchemicalsoul Před 6 měsíci +2

      As a woman, offer that you move on. Take all that energy and rebuild yourself. Learn the spiritual hermit path. Your heart will guide you.

    • @user-ke9tc3ue7f
      @user-ke9tc3ue7f Před 6 měsíci

      Same fawk em

    • @MrRobot15x
      @MrRobot15x Před 6 měsíci

      @@lyricmuzik5695 that is exactly what i am doing

  • @theieisbabbas765
    @theieisbabbas765 Před 6 měsíci +2

    No contact is ONLY good for realizing that you definitely are NOT in love , NOR do you love your ex partner. You never walk away from the person you love. Only love defeats evil so figure if everybody is into "let them go" motto and thats what everybody is doing think how much evil is winning between good and bad. I repeat, NEVER LET GO OF YOUR LOVE.You think Jesus ever walked away from Love? It stops the flow of love throughout the world and these days i can tell.

  • @zandilebusakwe7487
    @zandilebusakwe7487 Před 6 měsíci +5

    I watched all your videos and as hard as it was of not talking to him I still maintained my distance… today I tried to reach out but I get from him is silence. and it’s killing me inside I’m really hurt
    I wish I saw this earlier to hear your advice today.

  • @ITSMETWIZZY
    @ITSMETWIZZY Před 6 měsíci +7

    Every video i watch of yours i end up liking! My new relationship coach. Subscribed!

  • @azazel3944
    @azazel3944 Před 6 měsíci +9

    Tbh no contact is not for all

  • @ace1007
    @ace1007 Před 6 měsíci +5

    Im sure he will explain the exceptions in which this is applicable..

  • @karabobrian6693
    @karabobrian6693 Před 6 měsíci +8

    "If your ex reaches out it is okay to reciprocate" should be the title of this video, any how is going 12 months no contact and I have fallen out of love and on to better things, should the ex reach out I am not taking her back....i needed this detachment..it was very unhealthy for me and my mental wellbeing

  • @shorty.pop.
    @shorty.pop. Před 6 měsíci

    My advice coming from my experience just move on it's a peaceful feeling when u surrender to the loss of them there is healing power in letting go just like death we all gotta go at some point let go

  • @GoofyEnergyGoodVibeZ
    @GoofyEnergyGoodVibeZ Před 6 měsíci +3

    This is just too much. No contact, then do contact. Pull back, but then don’t pull back too much. Smile but don’t smile too much. Sounds like to many games to me. Why can’t you just be honest instead of playing these mind games. Playing these games, will cost your relationship and your future with them. Just be honest and upfront. If it’s suppose to be, it will be. All of this is confusing, and can cause more harm trying to do or be something you’re not. Just be transparent with them, let them know how you feel, and if it’s meant to be it will be. If you didn’t think they were of value or deserving, you wouldn’t have given them the opportunity to be your partner to begin with. Just my two cents. Especially since everyone operates differently. My ex is completely different than most men, so these tactics, games, and strategies will not work on him.

  • @romo3418
    @romo3418 Před 6 měsíci +1

    I chased on and off for almost 2 months post break up.. she’s severely avoidant. We hooked up after I broke NC the first time. Now 3 months post break up. 3 weeks back in full no contact. She keeps randomly unblocking me on IG for a day or two then reblocking. It’s happened two or three times now. She always has a story posted. I’ve never looked. I’m not feeding in to her. Those small signs make me feel good. Even if they shouldn’t and it’s not a big enough reason. At least I know she has feelings. Whatever they may be.

    • @grubzygaming7408
      @grubzygaming7408 Před 6 měsíci

      My ex also unblocked me on ig but never has reached out or seen my stories so I’m not sure what I should do

  • @imarhiagbe
    @imarhiagbe Před 6 měsíci +2

    My brother from Nigeria 🇳🇬 you are very right ▶️ of this issue ⚠️

  • @kaitlinmontgomery2750
    @kaitlinmontgomery2750 Před 5 měsíci

    I JUST had the thought that synchronicities are happening to me and like attracts like etc. The literal MOMENT you said you have a plane flying over you i looked up and saw a plane flying over me walking home rn. I CACKLED 😂✨️

  • @Tvshownerd3
    @Tvshownerd3 Před 6 měsíci +3

    I have read in many articles that avoidants never reach out even if they miss you. They expect you to chase them even if they are the dumper. What should I do in this?

    • @13sprintuser
      @13sprintuser Před 6 měsíci +2

      Same question from me! My ex gf is an avoidant but I can’t chase her after she broke up with me. She needs to do most of the work

  • @OnLyMaNdIs
    @OnLyMaNdIs Před 6 měsíci +1

    My situations a little different. We have been together for 1 year and 9 months, almost 2 years. He has been legally separated for 2 years and his divorce is final at the end of this month.... He said he has been fighting hate in his heart the past couple weeks and needs to work on himself alone... He said hes not looking for anyone or anything different and doesn't know if this is the right decision and is leaving it up to God to lead him in the right direction. Our relationship was great, but a few things were not ideal at the moment. He did get in his head from time to time and would go silent and I know that would upset him.
    He just asked me to please let him go and let things work out they way they are meant to. It's only been a day, and im strong enough not to reach out to him, but it's not what I want, and it is so hard... I know in my heart it's not what he wants. Any advice would be so helpful ❤

  • @misscooks601
    @misscooks601 Před 6 měsíci +3

    All of your videos add value. I did almost 1 months of no contact but I wished him
    A happy Valentine’s Day and broke it 😥

  • @user-dm2ey6ey1f
    @user-dm2ey6ey1f Před 6 měsíci +1

    After my 20 days i realize i don't want her back

  • @issacmchaunmiyeaacon5189
    @issacmchaunmiyeaacon5189 Před 6 měsíci +4

    Hey coach it's Issac sorry I showed up late but you're advice has helped me a lot and really changed my perspective I appreciate you

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci

      Great to hear man! Keep it going 🙏

  • @thebackbencher005
    @thebackbencher005 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Key point 19:15 .... that’s the crux to understand

  • @bipbop7231
    @bipbop7231 Před 6 měsíci +3

    Coach….Mr. Stylin and Profilin! 👍 Spittin facts and looking great doing it. Have a great weekend. ☺️

  • @1npaac
    @1npaac Před 4 měsíci

    On the other videos you said to text them back and show no fear of losing and wishing them good life. And know u saying to make a time and meet when she reaching out

  • @forzatodos9373
    @forzatodos9373 Před 6 měsíci

    I was so shock when i saw the Title of this video that i had to sit and listen😂😂😂😂 to it

  • @Makeitorbreakit1111
    @Makeitorbreakit1111 Před 24 dny

    It's been 10.5 weeks and he's been trying to get my attention by actions on line, and trying to befriend mutual people he couldn't stand before. Because he knows I hang out with them. I'm going to finally "bump" into him. As my sign I'm open to let him contact me.

  • @taylorturntime4170
    @taylorturntime4170 Před 6 měsíci +1

    this was such a plot twist: after all the NC rule was so strong.

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +3

      Hmm how so? I do not say not to do the no contact rule, just don’t miss opportunities when your ex comes around. If they are showing high interest, that is the time to take action without fearing rejection

    • @Beth1300
      @Beth1300 Před 6 měsíci

      I don't think it is. It's more about how to progress beyond initial no contact, something most channels don't seem to address

  • @emanuelmajstorovic9457
    @emanuelmajstorovic9457 Před 2 měsíci

    You are amazing man. The way you present and explain is great value for me...

  • @pearls2733
    @pearls2733 Před 6 měsíci +2

    Maybe they are not worthy of being pursued! After breaking someone's heart and abandoning the person ,they can get stuffed!

  • @Gbb93
    @Gbb93 Před 3 měsíci

    My ex came back and we hit it off for 3 months, and she told me she loves me. Then she backed away (she’s avoidant) and said we should just pursue with caution and play it by ear. Pretty sure she was also dating another guy casually. Since then, she’s told me she thinks we need to move on completely 3 different times, but she isn’t serious with anyone.

  • @vondawilliams6260
    @vondawilliams6260 Před 2 měsíci

    Well sometimes people break up because of an argument not that they are not interested

  • @cj_8686
    @cj_8686 Před 6 měsíci +2

    @coachblac
    My wife and i are temporarily separated and doing no contact we have 2 boys. We set a date from the gate to meet up to see where we stand. What are your thoughts was that the right thing to due? By setting a date prior to going into our no contact

  • @idekcommenter
    @idekcommenter Před 6 měsíci

    we’re back in contact and she’s initiating conversations and calls

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci

      Are you setting in person meet ups?

    • @idekcommenter
      @idekcommenter Před 6 měsíci

      @@blacademic i plan on asking her in a few days, i don’t want to move too quickly we’ve only been in communication a few days

  • @iamtyleek_8911
    @iamtyleek_8911 Před 6 měsíci +1

    My ex n I broke up 3 months ago, we’ve talk and met up sometimes and he was still hurt and upset about the things I’ve said after the breakup. We’ve only done at least a week no contact since then and he broke it. We spoke this Monday and he told me that he still healing from the things I said and that he don’t see a future with me. I told him if he truly believes that and want nothing to do with me to block and delete my number. He said okay, we slept together the night before he left. In the next day I sent him a little text to see if he blocked me, he didn’t. I’m applying no contact now hoping that’s going to give him sometime to heal from the hurtful things I said to him.

    • @NevilleStClair
      @NevilleStClair Před 6 měsíci +1

      I had this interesting thought that was confirmed through a video I saw a few days ago...When a relationship starts with all the excitement and it feels like it's "the relationship ",when the excitement fizzles out,I believe that is when the relationship is actually starting it's permanent beautiful journey. The problem is people think it's a sign that they have fallen out of love. People give up so easy on love these days. If one truly falls inlove,there is no way you can fall out of love...If you feel you don't love that person anymore, you actually never loved that person in the first place. Hooking up after a breakup without knowing where you actually stand is an unhealthy place to be. You are both adults and should be straightforward with how you both feel about each other. One of you is in it for a good time and the other is in it for the long time. The answer lies in who initiated the horizontal dance...

  • @MrRobot15x
    @MrRobot15x Před 6 měsíci

    This is a great video. My x dump
    Me on the January 2nd i immediately went nc on the 4th once i realized i was being dump with no explanation she sent a couple of breadcrumbs didn’t fall for them. Than went on a 20days not texting. on this Valentine’s day she send a text happy Valentine’s day and enjoy your day. I did reciprocate by saying the same thing and went back to nc. This video is great but i wish also it covers the parts where if she reached out multiple times and you decided to hang out for a couple of times at what point you asked to go to the next level assuming all the vetting come out positive and how to react if she doesn’t want a relationship still. Plus i also do believe you can’t move forward without fixing the prior issues that cause the break up i really wish coach put a video covering these.

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Did you actually hang out?

    • @MrRobot15x
      @MrRobot15x Před 6 měsíci +1

      No we have not . Since January 24th, Valentine’s day was the first time she reached out just saying happy valentine day hope you enjoy the day.
      The hang out part was for the future if she started to reach out often than i will ask to hang out

  • @annsumrall2593
    @annsumrall2593 Před 6 měsíci +1

    I am the woman who was dumped. He pursued me for a year and a half after totally loving him for a year next month he wanted to marry then all of a sudden before valentine's day he said we are done. I am devastated but no way am i going to reach out to him. Unfortunately i have to see him at a hospital where i go for a brief time everyday so he still visually sees me but wont speak or text. 😢

  • @carlaboyd7407
    @carlaboyd7407 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Love your videos and your coaching techniques but I’m sorry the title was very convoluted

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate the honesty. Did you watch the video all the way through?

  • @Ericgodisgood
    @Ericgodisgood Před 6 měsíci +2

    Wow now no contact my ex said she moved on in I should to

  • @PeterHealthyLifestyle
    @PeterHealthyLifestyle Před 6 měsíci +1

    Bro you got me confused

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci

      Come to my live tonight! Definitely watch the whole video first. But come to the live. 7PM CST

  • @amyl894
    @amyl894 Před 6 měsíci +1

    If we’ve been in no contact for almost 10 months, separated for a year and he had a new gf that was a mutual friend within a week of us “breaking up” BUT we’re technically still married, should I just give up hope entirely and just get the divorce after we were and technically still are married for over 10 years?

  • @MF25192
    @MF25192 Před 6 měsíci +2

    Im just gonna reach out in 6 months if i dont hear from her till then

    • @CatwalkPurz
      @CatwalkPurz Před 6 měsíci +1

      This channel does talk about a final “hail mary” (what I thought this video might be about) but there are still some other things to consider when doing this Hail-Mary

  • @passportninja2994
    @passportninja2994 Před 4 měsíci

    Once you conquer the no contact rule, you'll win either way..

  • @Beth1300
    @Beth1300 Před 6 měsíci +2

    This is very helpful, thanks

  • @sheldonvintage9023
    @sheldonvintage9023 Před 6 měsíci

    Coach, appreciate your wisdom! Are you able to do a sucess story series or two seperate episodes of these stories for each gender pls

  • @STARSENMT
    @STARSENMT Před 6 měsíci

    OHHHHH FRESH CUT, FRESH CAMERA 🔥🔥

  • @ifeanyianyanwu5319
    @ifeanyianyanwu5319 Před 6 měsíci

    Hi Coach blac, I follow your series on CZcams and must say you are amazing and your teachings work like magic. I went on NC with my ex and he reached out to me countlessly to check up and to ask for meetings of which we met thrice and hooked up and recently? The last time we met? I got to know that he wants to start a new relationship and is considering one guy and one girl he is presently hooking up with and he spoke highly about them and wants to make a decision on who to go with this week coming, as he is bi and we were together for almost 5 years. We even got into a brief argument concerning him saying as a bi guy? He cannot just be with one gender sexually and that it’s impossible but I kept telling him that it was not and I we had a back and forth and I left his place and he sent a message to me that he is setting me free and that we were having a back and forth again and all he wanted was peace and that I can do whatever I want and hopes I find love again. What can I do?

  • @Nodaysofff
    @Nodaysofff Před 6 měsíci

    What if the family mad at you specifically her daughter

  • @benergy100k2
    @benergy100k2 Před 6 měsíci

    *So she dumped me but indirectly hitting me up as she's already posted a profile on a dating website! What is it all about? She now even speaks like she has an abundance of men! Why do people do this and they don't just move on?*

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci

      She needs to reach out directly for sure. Like text or phone call

  • @Ducati007
    @Ducati007 Před 6 měsíci

    Never go back

  • @teeteegmail1298
    @teeteegmail1298 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Real question is, what do you do when they reach out multiple times apologising and showing high interest, even asking to meet but still with the rebound person??

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +3

      If they are in a relationship set a boundary and tell them to stop reaching out to you

    • @Beth1300
      @Beth1300 Před 6 měsíci +1

      They're keeping you as a backup option. Don't accept it

    • @tombrady2354
      @tombrady2354 Před 6 měsíci +1

      Maybe the rebound she has is not the man she thought he was

  • @ebcustom2819
    @ebcustom2819 Před 6 měsíci

    That makes a lot of sense you're right. But what about if she's already dating someone?

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci

      Nope. Do nothing unless she reaches out first

  • @jibberjabber2
    @jibberjabber2 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Hey coach I completely understand what you mean by initiating whenever the opportunity presents itself however, what if you know there’s a 3rd party involved and that she’s not only knocking when she’s bored or want her cake and eat it too? Me and her discussed setting a date recently to talk on the phone and catch-up but the night we were supposed to talk she hit me with the “I was going to call you but I’m sleepy now” and went back to living her life. I didn’t respond and I left her on read due to frustration and disappointment 😢 this has been one of the challenges I’ve been facing ever since she broke up with me and me being in NC. Would you please be willing to explain what I should do in situations like this

  • @lyricalstyles
    @lyricalstyles Před 6 měsíci

    Can you do a video about working with an ex? We both are in new relationships but see eachother everyday and can’t get completely over eachother

  • @nickyj2657
    @nickyj2657 Před 6 měsíci +3

    My ex in new relationship for 8 months, said she loves her rebound. Shall I just give up? We don’t really communicate either

    • @jason2723
      @jason2723 Před 6 měsíci +1

      That sucks

    • @bhc5496
      @bhc5496 Před 6 měsíci +2

      Move on mate, really. I did the mistake before to stay, big mistake

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci

      Leave her alone bro if she is with someone else and pushing you away and not initiating with you

    • @nickyj2657
      @nickyj2657 Před 6 měsíci

      @@DavidWayne-gh8zt how?

    • @jumpedintheriverwhatdidise5499
      @jumpedintheriverwhatdidise5499 Před 6 měsíci

      As soon as my ex even text her ex she was out the door. Instant turn off for me. It hurts adjusting to single life again. But don't have Feelings for her any more. Weird how instantly I got turned off. Don't know how guys can go back after their ex is with another man

  • @jgentile34
    @jgentile34 Před 6 měsíci +2

    Sounds kinda like coach Corey Wayne 🤨

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Actually I like Corey Wayne! I don’t agree with everything he says, but his fundamentals are solid and I recommend all men to read his book

  • @asowatanabe2131
    @asowatanabe2131 Před 6 měsíci +3

    If my absence did not bother them, my presence never meant something to them.
    No contact is 4ever dont give a fuck

  • @rohanjadhav38
    @rohanjadhav38 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Break no contact only when the dumper has had reached out. If not, then stick to no contact until the contact happens from the dumper… correct?

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci

      Correct

    • @rohanjadhav38
      @rohanjadhav38 Před 6 měsíci

      I appreciate your response, Coach B…

    • @0220LMB
      @0220LMB Před 6 měsíci

      @blacademic What if the only direct reach out was 6 weeks ago saying they missed me and hoped i could forgive them and then 2 indirect messages a few weeks apart when they pretended they sent an "accidental" message? Breadcrumbs im whici I ignored but now it's been almost a month and nothing at all. Even tho its been a while and it wasn't direct, should i reach out? I think she took it as if i rejected her when i ignored the breadcrumbs. I'm hurting bad missing her and confused. What do I do now? Thank you. Great channel.

  • @akselnielsen8837
    @akselnielsen8837 Před 6 měsíci +2

    hello coach.
    its now a little over a month of nc, and my ex has reached two times, one time just saing how are you, and now asking me if i was home. in witch i responden "no im on vacation" followed by a response saing "oh okay, never mind then" is this a good sign or is she just playing with me?
    i appreciate all you have done for me, thank you

  • @bigboss6867
    @bigboss6867 Před 6 měsíci

    Coach, it'll probably be a while before my Ex reaches out as she exhibits textbook signs of an avoidant attachment style.

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci

      How long have you been in full no contact? No mistakes, no watching stories, nothing?

    • @bigboss6867
      @bigboss6867 Před 6 měsíci

      Been about a little over a year, I screwed up after the initial 60 days (we broke up back in September of '22). At that point I recognized if I kept pursuing, I would have made her recognize that I'd learned nothing. I went full NC afterwards, removed her from my social media, no friends, no stories, no nothing.

  • @Millimir
    @Millimir Před 6 měsíci +1

    Need you to go live

  • @thewhitneyagency
    @thewhitneyagency Před 6 měsíci

    What do you do if you were the one dumped and they are in a new relationship and tell you on numerous times they unhappy and come knocking on your door. You’ve hung out a few times but every time they are “good” in their relationship they sort of ghost you. They say they miss you and are open to an “us” in the future but are still in an unhealthy relationship. 😕

  • @Beautifullysaid
    @Beautifullysaid Před 6 měsíci

    My suiation so weird i dont known where to start but hummm dont want to get playied 😊

  • @user-sz4xm3ke1l
    @user-sz4xm3ke1l Před 6 měsíci

    Hey Coach!!. First time on ur live!!!

  • @WineHouse33
    @WineHouse33 Před 6 měsíci +9

    Move on. Once she left, the bond is broken. No contact is for yourself, it’s not to hopefully she comes back one day bullshit! Have some integrity for yourselves.

  • @ordon3858
    @ordon3858 Před 6 měsíci

    He’s called me once every week. I’m in NCT. I want him to value me and to start anew. Setting all my boundaries that are non negotiable. What are your thoughts? I’m happy he’s is not a texting person when we’re not talking.

  • @InertiaFpv23
    @InertiaFpv23 Před 6 měsíci

    It’s 11 🎉 let’s fucking hear this!

  • @tsu1246
    @tsu1246 Před 6 měsíci

    What if them reaching out is extremely low effort (essentially breadcrums)? My ex sent me memes twice during no contact. We had some back and forth but she didn't even ask me about my life or anything like that.

  • @MrSnoop1987
    @MrSnoop1987 Před 6 měsíci

    Me my ex split up like 5 mouths ago as a man I was taught that the man Pursue the female I have done the no contact I tried pursuing her but no Interest she hated me she also a taurus after not showing any interest I stop trying just working on myself now

  • @nekojoe1305
    @nekojoe1305 Před 6 měsíci +2

    So if i do text response "who it is?" Or "What do you want?" .... the guy wont get upset?

    • @Tvshownerd3
      @Tvshownerd3 Před 6 měsíci +2

      You don’t have to be rude unless they treated you like shit during the breakup. If not, just be polite and casual like how you would talk to a friend

  • @jeaneengant6771
    @jeaneengant6771 Před 6 měsíci

    This is going to be interested. can't wait to watch the video. I mean I listen and followed you the whole time during my breakup. i am curious to see what this video is about

  • @Elise_1704
    @Elise_1704 Před 6 měsíci

    Coach.. hoping you’ll reply to this.
    my ex just dumped me 3 days ago. We been living together, even engaged, planned a wedding and all, to end up breaking up due to some heavy arguments. I have abandonment issues, I couldn’t accept it. Been watching your videos ever since the breakup, but it’s very hard to do No Contact. I been reaching out since day one till today. I got drunk tonight , texted and called him but he wont answer and i even went to his apartment and leave a short note letter saying ‘i’m sorry, i love you and please forgive me’. I went back home and just feeling the lowest thinking that he might think im super crazy and all. 😢
    What should i do? I really love him and i still believe in our relationship. I believe that he did love me very much before. Please help me. Been crying since the breakup and im really helpless! I love him so much, I can’t even imagine living the lives without him.

  • @deryckbaird5566
    @deryckbaird5566 Před 6 měsíci +14

    So to be clear. The ex must reach out before this step happens?

    • @deryckbaird5566
      @deryckbaird5566 Před 6 měsíci

      No contact only 2 months

    • @deryckbaird5566
      @deryckbaird5566 Před 6 měsíci +2

      Is there any time I should reach out at all? I’m the dumpee

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Před 6 měsíci +7

      Correct! My apologies if the video wasn’t clear. I may need to remake this if necessary. So many people are so afraid to move things forward, especially when the ex is showing REAL interest. Timing is essential in NO Contact. You Must Strike while the iron is hot

    • @TruSwen93
      @TruSwen93 Před 6 měsíci

      yes

    • @jason2723
      @jason2723 Před 6 měsíci +2

      @@blacademic I fucked it up because I was trying to let her do everything and she got frustrated and left again. Now I feel I have to chase

  • @alijhill
    @alijhill Před 6 měsíci

    Thank you coach ❤

  • @tigergirl906
    @tigergirl906 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Love your content. Is it possible to lose the music 🎵? It is quite distracting and repetitive..

  • @sarahhajjari
    @sarahhajjari Před 4 měsíci

    Hi coach, I have a question. I have avoidant ex, we lived together for a year, moved out 3 months ago not having a reason, talked few times and agreed to start dating but he didn’t reach out on that date and I stopped contacting, it’s been two months since then, my question is can I reach out at any time ? I genuinely love him and want him back, I appreciate your input and advice!

  • @anmm9236
    @anmm9236 Před 5 měsíci

    Ty! 💜🙏

  • @di114n2
    @di114n2 Před 20 dny

    So if she’s already reached out and said she missed me and thinks about me every day but in the same convo said she still doesn’t think it’s a good idea that we talk what do I do in this situation . I never offered to meet but I did hint at it saying it would be nice to see you and she responded with I’d love to in a month or two when we’re fully healed. Haven’t heard from since and this was 8 days ago . I’m just wondering if I should initiate the next text or just wait for her to text me again

  • @hennritasolorzano2215
    @hennritasolorzano2215 Před 6 měsíci

    What ...he has a wife but still I waited until I seen n realized he went to his rebound ex...😢😮...I'm still trying to figure this out