10 Lessons I've Learned in my Late Teens/Early 20s
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 12. 09. 2024
- Hi, friends - let's chat đ€ Wanted to take some time to get a bit deep & personal today.
I'd love to know which lesson resonated with you most đ«¶
This video ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, I originally was going to dive into 15 lessons.
Let me know in the comments you'd want to see a part âïž
TIMESTAMPS:
0:01:16 friends come and go
0:02:36 you donât need a ton of friends
0:03:26 setting boundaries is key
0:06:22 partying isnât all itâs cracked up to be
0:07:56 confidence is quiet, insecurities are loud
0:10:32 be conscious of where you seek validation from
0:13:59 reacting defensively often indicates a core issue
0:16:18 everything is a balance (work/life balance)
0:19:00 in any relationship, itâs you two vs the problem, not you versus the other person
0:20:05 holding in anger is never the solution
đ» Editing: Cerberus Inc. (editors@cerberus.inc)
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This video ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, I originally was going to dive into 15 lessons đ LMK you'd want to see a part âïž
Don't worry! It has been worth every minute. I'm sure that this video will help many people like me by inspiring them for a best life đ
@@mistic.111Iâm so glad to hear that, thank you! â€
pleasee make a part twoo â€â€.
Pt 2 pls đ
1. Friends come and go
2. You don't need a ton of friends
3. Setting boundaries is key
4. Partying is not all its cracked up to be
5. Confidence is quite, insecurities are loud
6. Be conscious of where you seek validation from
7. Reacting defensively often indicates a core issue
8. Everything is a balance
9. In any relationship, it's you two vs the problem, not you vs the other people.
10. Holding in anger is never the solution
Thank you.
Yes!! Part 2 plzzz. A lot of the lessons you summed up were very relatable. You should make a video of lessons you've learned throughout the years together as a couple with your fiance! If he's down to be a part of the vid of course.
Love this idea!! Writing it down in my ideas list đ«¶
Relatable. I've learned all this throughout my 30s. At some point we all realize what is important and what isn't. And "Us vs. the problem" is such an insightful way to approach an issue rather than holding a side. Great vid.
Thank you! I shouldâve credited that one to Jason, he was the one who truly made me realize that concept 𫶠tbh most of the lessons Iâve learned is through him đ€
Ya I agree
you speak to me on so many levels! i look up to you like an older sister and this advice really helps me think about what challenges i face and can relate to you. â€
Awhh youâre so sweet, Iâm so happy to hear that! Means a lot đ„čđ«¶
these are really true, thank you for sharing the realities of whatâs coming! i feel like i was listening to a peer and a friend bc iâm turning 23 this month and itâs very surreal for me. iâm excited to see where this decade will lead you and what you will learn along the way!
Iâd love to see more vlogs like this on your channel. I found you on shorts and Iâm not a fashion person but found it interesting. Content like this humanizes you, shows youâre far more unique and special than a model. Respect for learning all these lessons so young. â
Youâre doing great work! I got my teen daughter to follow you. Iâm in the mental health field and this is important stuff!
Yes! Two heads are always better than one †you know what they say - teamwork makes the dream work đ«¶
being in my late teens this helps so much and helps me move on with things i might not be comfortable with.. such as friends leaving me or even getting over a relationship. thank you so much
Thank you for sharing. I can definitely relate to all these points except #4 (for some reason partying never sounds that great to me). It helps to hear others who went through the same struggles and gather lessons from it and how to move forward. Thank you.
I'm the same age as you and I recently learned some of the lessons you talked about! I was also a chronic hardworker and used to think that I always needed to work hard no matter what. I recently realised that I continued working hard not because I loved it as much as I thought I did, but because that was my primary mode of self validation. When I felt insecure, I would tell myself how much of a hardworker I was, and so it was a confidence boost. I had to get rid of that because it meant, to me, that if I was not working hard at all, I wasn't worth it at all.
Def need a part 2!! You feel like a big sister! And I also love hearing from different perspectives cause itâs super important and interesting to learn
It was really helpful for me. I recently went through a friendship break up with someone that I thought would always be my friend. She decided to block me and end our friendship without any notice or what I might have done to upset her. It has been difficult but I feel so much better. Friendship really do come and go.
Oh, that must be tough... hope you're alr
I can tell my story similar to yours but in my case I was the one who blocked her. I noticed that latelyI was always the one to invite her to come over or somewhere to hung out or the first to send messages... It felt I was the one trying to do or talk about something... I didn't see anything like that in return..... So I stopped texting her. Months passed. I understood that we were slowly losing touch and decided to cut it off completely. Maybe I'm wrong for cutting off her like that, but idc. Friendships come and go. In the end, you're always alone.
Dear Vanessa,
Your advice, insights, and testimony are so beautiful and powerful, like you! Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. You are a gem.
I too, learned these same lessons, but later in life than you did! I believe my upbringing was similar to yours, so it makes sense that we both went thru needing to learn these in young adulthood
This was amazing to be apart of. May I just say a few words that may or may not help but something I just feel like expressing.. Iâm proud of you Nessa! âșïžđđ»ââïžđ
Great video - passing it onto someone I know that I think would appreciate. Perhaps consider doing this once a year....a video on what you've learned from the previous year and how it affects you now and going forward (just a thought). Keep up the great work.
I didn't know how much I needed to hear these:) Thank youâš
I always told my Daughters number one distraction is friends. it's not that they are bad but you move on for the better of you. Life goes by fast real fast. so be you. MY oldest Binky when she dresses down she works like nobody. She learned that confidence comes from with in, now dinner parties are awesome and by the end of the night I go home so proud but I do say some thing like your make up made your head big tonight just to see if she is bothered. I can't wait to see your show when your Daughters take over. yeah sorry that's coming let's see twins ok i'll start praying
BTW this part about keeping stuff to yourself and building up resentment. It happens for a reason. It's usually because the person you have an issue with isn't sufficiently emotionally mature to accept what you're saying and you're afraid they're gonna gaslight you again. Happens to me all the time. And I'm fine with it. I just ghost those people once I've had enough. No point in talking it out. People with personalitiy disorders can't change.
Edit: After hearing the final point, maybe you weren't even the issue, at least from what I can see here you have some level of self awareness and maturity, but your "friends" were probably too jealous and insecure. It's usually easy to notice if you did something wrong and if someone is mad at you, you can apologize and move on. But the people who lie to your face pretending everything is fine just to keep having your company when they're bored and have no one else and to have your help with assignments, they have a special place in hell.
Love this. I can relate 100% as Iâm a lot like you especially w the type A. Iâm years older so the fact that you learned this so much earlier than me, kudos to you! they are really great lessons you touched upon in this video and I definitely want to use them in a lesson with my high school students. Thanks for the inspiration! Congrats on your success and your recent engagement! đč
3:22 this is jus my personal experience, but I usually have a small group of friends that I hangout w. Obviously, Ik yk that popularity can really affect people/their self image. For me though, what matters is being able to have a connection or being able to spend time with friends. (If itâs reciprocated.)
Plz make a part 2 I love this it made me feel good after learning these lessons
Wait until you become a parent. That's a real change of gears...
You might be a little young to remember/know of a song by Baz Luhrmann; Everybody's Free (To wear sunscreen.) One of the quintessential lines is:
"Understand that friends come and go, But a precious few, who should hold on."
That song's full of great advise that you don't really appreciate until you do get a few years under your belt...
I love how articulate and mindful you sound.
Iâm 55 and this is all outstanding advice. Great job
I adore you... Your a great person and full of energy. If only you where my age or I was your age. Knowing your 23 and engaged I follow you more as a father figure. I truly care about you and love always hearing how your doing and your success with social marketing. You always put a smile on my face. Keep doing your thing and growing as a person.
Youâre so kind, thank you for your words and support! Means a lot đ€
hi V.H. ! I like your vids, they have a whimsicality and lightness that is never boring. You're a great video editor too. Keep at it. Push your creative boundaries in whatever direction appeals to you ! We'll keep watching. thanks !
This vid is a really good reminder cause I think some of these lessons can be easily forgotten tbh. Anyway! I was wondering do you think you could make a video on what you did to get to where you are today because I honestly aspire to be like you (fashion influencers) but I donât really understand how to or what to do to get to that position.
Wise words, great reminders for me as a 32 year old as well âșïž
i love this so much! you should do youtube videos like this more often (but obviously that's probably hard to balance that with tiktok haha) !!
Thank youuuuuuuu for this I needed it
Spot on about the internet/social media, people can get intoxicated with likes and †emojis to the point that it becomes addictive and the opposite is also true that you can be torn down psychologically by peoples trolling. In order to realize our true self we must be willing to live without being dependent upon the opinion of others - Bruce Lee
Such a relatable and informative video đ also I need that sweaterâŠ
Never be silent, great stuff!
I love how well spoken and posed you areâ€
Hey! Sister I really really love your contents so so so much and I love your vlogs so so much you are my inspiration and I wish you reach 2 Million Subscribers very very soon!đ«đâșïž
Thank you so much for your words and your support - youâre so kind! đ«¶
Being that you are engaged to someone I hope you both take the time and do a personal finance course together that way you can make informed choices for the future
Thank you for the time you spent with us take care and good luck
10/10 video. Happy you shared this!
SLAY QUEEN!!! I WISH I HAD YOUR CONFIDENCE AND MINDSET !! PREACHH!!
My god
My boyfriend does that too... At first I feel too much hurt, i don't want to share anything.
I talked about it too. But it was still same, it hit me i am crying baby, attention seeker something.
I remembered myself how I was in my teens i love what I wear how i style. After understanding this it's like a whole new world to me.
Well I am still working on me though
This video is so helpful đ€© ( you told solutions to my many problems) thanks đ
One of the biggest mistakes young people make is getting married too early in life. Especially career driven people. 60% divorce rate for people in their 20's. Big Mistake.
More content like this, please. đ
I really need part2
.Lessons are great, learning is better.
we want a part two!!!!!!!
School used to prepare you for responsible adulthood. Well, they did 20 years ago. I was in college while you were learning to walk. You're learning now when I was in highschool or junior high.
What are you doing here then? Why would a old man watch this video?
Really enjoyed đ
Thanks Vanessa â€ïž
â€â€â€â€â€impressiveâ€â€
I needed thisss
I wish i had this video 10 years ago....
When you're in your 40s, you'll look back at this video and be like, "I was dumb, I didn't know anything in my 20s". It's kinda like watching a 12 year old, who think she got the world figured out.
?? What exactly would your 10 lessons be, if they're so much better?
I mean probably đ as I said, Iâm still learning and growing every single day. Even a 60 year old would look back at themselves at age 40 and realize theyâve learned so much since then.
We need a story time about why your friends were hating on you. Maybe they're jealous that you're fine af đ€đ
There were a few things that bothered them that in my head were inconsequential.
For instance, Iâm a very touchy person, so I would do things like hug their SOâs hello. I considered the SOâs my friends at that point and I hug all of my friends hello đ€·ââïž
Plus, I was already in a very stable and healthy relationship with Jason at that point.
But regardless, if they just brought it up once and told me that it made them uncomfortable, I would have stopped immediately out of respect for them.
But they never once brought it up to me because I âshouldâve known betterâ - so obviously I kept doing it because I didnât know it was an issue.
And then they dropped me. Similar patterns like that đ€š
oh, and they didnât like that I would stop them from driving themselves home drunk đ€·ââïž
@@VIVACIOUSHONEY I love how you take the time to write detailed responses to your commenters â€
@@VIVACIOUSHONEY so long story short yup they're definitely insecure đ
But you didn't hug their SO all hella extra like hang onto their neck then jump up and wrap your legs around them right? đ€đđ
I don't really like hugging female friends even tho I like em, it feels awkward. The only person I hug a lot is my mom. I hug her like I'm still 2 years old even in public, I'm not ashamed. I'm always gonna be her baby boy đâș
As for the drunk driving they should be thanking you for caring about their safety. They're so ungrateful âč
This videos could not have come at the best timeđą
you're so well spoken and sweet! Really enjoyed this videoâș
Beautiful video đđ
i love you so much ur truly the best â€
I love this videos please I need more haha
It is so lovely to hear more about you and your experiences! It's great to know more about you alongside your fashion videos! đ«¶đ
Awhh Iâm glad to hear that - thank you! â€
"Wow" brook: What lead these personal issue's. P.C...?
You have a bright future, i was surprised at your wise words.
Not more than two at a time. I learned that the hard way⊠real hard. And messy.
BLEACHED!
Second part pleaseee!! âĄâĄ
Thanks for sharing sweetie đ„°â€ïž
i love your accent, greetings from Mexico!
Your good inspiration for teen
If you want to live a happy, fulfilled life, get married to a loyal man, make (and wisely invest) all the money you can while you're at your peak (
Your a good person your boyfriend is lucky man!
Family Family and brothers my brother....
ilysm
A lot of personal growth happens between 18-22 and 22-24. Two distinct phases, at least they were for me.
I had the same distinct phases in my life too
Love you from Tunisia đ€
Thank you for your wisdom tiny asian chick of less than 30 years old who makes 5-second fashion videos on youtube
So, I think you're probably wise beyond your years.
æ„æŹăăćżæŽăăŠăăŸăïŒ
Are you really a full time employee?
Music pls????
beauful
What is your mbti
yeah for me the US "college experience", is probably the biggest yikes thing about american culture, from an outsiders point of view. it just seem to create more shallow and broken people
Hi
closet tour?
Lol u dont know what work is
đđđđâ€â€
âșđ
early
now i have to check the feet,...
đȘđšđ
wee stunner