Things no one told us about marriage....
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
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Hello friends,
Welcome back to CBT or if you are new here WELCOME to Coffee and Bible Time :) In today's video, Johnny and I talk about all the things no one told us about marriage - hoping that we can be an encouragement to you! We have gone through our fair share of arguments and tears. We are not perfect and learn so much every day! Thank God for His Grace!!!!
Blessings and love to you my freind,
Ash
#newlyweds #marriageadvice #marriage
After 14 yrs of marriage, my hubby and I have figured out, the first one to the cross wins. That means humbling yourself and, definitely, apologizing. Also, another amazing thing we've done is after an argument, with Holy Spirit prompting, the offender will often wash the other person's feet. A very humbling and intimate experience.
Wow that is incredible !!! Thanks for sharing!
That humbled me just reading this.
That's a God ordained Marriage right there ❤️
Oh wow, yes thank you for mentioning this.
@@HannahJohnson-th4th Aww thank you, but we were not followers when we first got married. God has taught us what it means to be pure and holy in marriage. He's also taught us what love is and is not. Love is not a feeling, it's a choice we make everyday to "love" each other. I had questions on HOW to love my husband, especially through difficult times and HS directed me to 1 Corinthians 13. I put my name in every place it says love and I expressed those characteristics to my husband. Like this "J is patient and kind towards him"
@@jglassStrengthDignity
Jesus spoke Corinthians to me right before I read this hallelujah 🔥
I'm going to be preparing more every day until I meet my husband ♥️ Thank you this was encouraging.
I wanted to mention about Going to bed angry...My mom died and I left the house and didn't say goodbye and I didn't give her a hug goodbye. Because as a human I thought I had ALL The time in the world but in reality we don't in the physical world. If my mom had died under circumstances where I wasnt angry and I had said goodbye I probably wouldnt have so much GRIEF from it!! So my advice is DONT LEAVE WHEN ANGRY!! ALWAYS SAY GOODBYE!!! And say I love you even if you dont mean it in that moment because your mad remember thats the LAST thing the other will hear before Going to bed or leaving or the end of the argument. You wont ever regret that but always regret if you dont!!
please pray for my husband and I. we have been married officially 1 year as of March 9 and have been apart for 11 months out the year….. the military lifestyle is hard. please pray we reunite soon! thank you all, love you.
Amen
How’s the marriage been so lately??
@@TeeAhhhna we've been reunited since May of this year by God's goodness. thank you for asking!!! ❤️
Thank you so much Johnny for saying, “Brag about your marriage”. Im single and all I’ve heard through my church family is…”Marriage is a lot of work, no need to rush, it’s not like the fantasy Disney/hallmark movies(giving me a reality check) which is good and all BUT that’s all I would hear. I wouldn’t hear the good stuff, the blessing of it…it made me not want to get married. It seemed to me Christian marriages are no different then the world marriages. Also, Ash thank you for encouraging us with “its incredible to be on this journey with your best friend” your whole ending was amazing. Yes yes yes!!! Thank you guys this is encouraged me so much. ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ thank you friend!!!!
Hi Ashley! Hi Johnny! The first year is all about learning. Learning about each other, likes and dislikes, and finding a happy middle ground. Love you both. Remember the two become one. You both are on the same team. Love each other Unconditionally and always try to put the other first. ❤️❤️❤️
More like the first 7 years.
Thank you so much for sharing :) You are so right. It tales time to learn about each other!
Amen
When my husband and I renewed our vows at 25 years, we met with our pastor at the time. In that meeting he talked about what love was. He said that it wasn’t the fuzzy feeling that people feeling the beginning, that thing that attracts each other but it’s the thing that is after that fuzzy feeling has lessened. It’s the choice of sacrifice. It’s the choice to sacrifice one’s selfishness for another. To put your spouse before you. When we got married we were not Christians, so this was a new concept for us both. But it’s the one piece of advice that we hung on to that has brought us to year 32. We also decided long ago that divorce was not an option and we had to work things out, no matter what. We still hold that decision.
I'm only 18 and single, and in the last couple of months I've seen marriage as something really boring and hard (sometimes I do desire to get married and sometimes I don't ) ...
Thanks for the video, I feel God used you and gave me a word of encouragement.
Thanks friend :) you have encouraged us too ❤
I'm 24 and I still feel the same way!! Whatever God's will is... He'll show you a person to marry if it is glorifying to Him.
And the other thing is that marriage does change over time because people do grow over the years. It's beautiful to watch your spouse grow over the years and vice versa
❤
One word. WOW! You both are more settled and have growth than married couples I’ve known for years. Honored to share a small part of this journey with you. Many blessings
awww THANK YOU for that encouragement ❤❤❤
Let’s go sacrifice the kitty 😂😂
You two were meant for each other! It’s nice to see this new chapter in your life
God is so Good!! Because my husband feels the same way.. I have never asked for so much apologies.. Definitely through Jesus Christ our marriage have gotten so stronger.. Thank you for sharing ❤❤
Love what you guys said at the very end, about bragging about how great it is to be married. I completely agree with this! The world puts such a negative view of marriage out there, “the ball and chain,” “my old man”, how it keeps them back from fun or their life goals and potentials, etc. It’s very sad and heartbreaking. When the Creator is the Leader and Center, and we obey the Scriptures and how we are instructed to treat each other, everyone wins! I feel bad for so many that don’t genuinely have the Lord at the helm and center of their marriage...they’re truly missing out on the joys of how marriage is designed to be for everyone! Thanks for sharing this wonderful video and your lives with us! God bless you both on your journey!
It's awesome that Jesus is right in the middle of your marriage & you know what the enemy is up too! 💖💖
When you are purified by Abba God Holy Spirit bad habits , fights are just a minor which happen sometimes but great thing about marriage is the conjugal agape love Abba God Yahweh put in between two that the world can never offer !!!!!!!!!!! ♥️🔥🔥🔥♥️⛪💒⛪♥️🕯️🕯️🕯️♥️🕎🕎🕎♥️🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱♥️with lots of love dear sister from Namrita
Such a beautiful couple! May God continue to bless you both💕💕
Very interesting video
8:34
👋🏼 Awesome:
How do we compromise in a way that is selfless, in a way that is loving in a way that is gentle😊
Thank you for the ending. I'm scared about getting married partly because all I ever hear in Christian circles is how difficult it is.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Your vulnerability is beautiful. I will always remember this advice ❤
So glad you two are able to understand that at times it is hard, but always always cherish one another even in anger. We never went to bed mad, we talked it out or at times cried it out. My husband and I were together 35 1/2 years before he went to be with Jesus in 8/2021. I have to tell you when we were married he said that it was the happiest day of his life. He called me his wifey for lifey. I think back and I cry because I was his wife for his life, but now I am alone with memories and pictures. I know the Lord has a plan for my life. I am just Thankful I got to be my husbands wife for his life but today I am just grieving and missing him so much and just feel so lost without him. May God Bless you two always.
❤❤❤
Thank you guys for being so honest about marriage. I've enjoyed watching your journey together from single to married. God Bless you both! I look forward to seeing what God does in your lives. You're an amazing couple. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much friend!!!
This is so real. One of the rare videos. It feels like I am sitting in the living room with you guys. May God bless you more and more. 😍
:) Thank you friend !
I always liked your channel because you show that life is not all roses and good times but it's really hard and full of lessons, and in comparison to other couples I watch on CZcams that they say "all things are perfect" and they show us things that are not true, you show us things that are true you are not afraid to be real. Keep it up and keep it real ❤
Thank you friend! That has always been one of my biggest goals! :)
Thank ya'll for sharing...very insightful 💜
Johnny that was preached Brother (about the enemy) "Punch him in the stinkin face"...AMEN 🙌🏾
NOT TODAY satan NOT NEVER!!! VICTORY IN JESUS!!!😊🙌🏾
hahah YES!
Thanks for being sooo honest...thanks for being an example...
You two have this!!! With Jesus in the center! You both love the Lord so that journey is helping you understand how to love sacrificially as you had mentioned. ❤ So proud of you youngens still looking at one another with dreamy eyes even through the irritations! It is beautiful! ❤
A great tip is pretty much what you said toward the end, Ashley. When a couple in marriage, fight and argue and one is focused on the negative things, you can bet EVERY TIME, when that frustrated one prays, God will say, "Name one thing you love about your spouse."
And when you begin to list what you LOVE about them, that love overtakes the negative within your heart. ❤❤❤
Communication is always evolving, as you learn to put the other first, then you will able to talk through the issues in a productive way.
Again, so proud of you standing together and working through!!! Powerful! Your marriage will be an example of Christ and His Bride.
I love what you said: "when you begin to list what you LOVE about them, that love overtakes the negative within your heart" SO INCREDIBLE!! Thank you!!!
So much truth mixed with humor 😂😂. I love this!
Love this video. I’m so glad you all mentioned how the world and especially people with platforms will water down marriage or just denounce it and make it sound dreadful. I know the Lord puts the desire for marriage on my heart in my single season because it absolutely grieves me when people do that.
Also I love the longer videos yall do. Keep them coming ! ☺️
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
much love ❤️ from Tanzania ,east Africa .. I pray to receive a man who love and can connect spiritually ,mentally physically . It's Good to have a man who fears God and loves Jesus . ..I was told once if a man submit and loves Jesus he will love and cherish his wife and neighbors
I have been following you since before getting married. Now that you are married, I’ll tell you. I love how your husband visits your channel.
… you are both so lovely…❤thank you for this vulnerability, May the Lord continue to bless your family! Amen 🙏.
Great video. Shh... don't tell Johnny but I totally get his sense of humor. We're an expert now😂. The first year of marriage is a doozy. It's the best of times and the not so best of times. I cried more then I had ever cried. Moved away from home too. We found out that we both liked to walk so we walked and talked that first year. Been married 31 years but I remember that 1st year of marriage more then any other year. Praying family are the best. We were not the strongest Christians but I still see God's hand through that first year.
Thank you both for being so honest! I have been married for 16 years this August and we still don’t have it figured out. 🤪 And kids add a whole new dynamic that makes things even more tough. Praying for you both as you grow in your love for each other!
Hi Ashley and Johnny! May the Lord keep blessing you both in your new marriage! My parents are still married for almost 43 years and I still learn from them because they want me to find a Godly man who loves Him first! Thanks for sharing this video!
I relate so much to your cat issues throughout this video😂 esp 4:03 when i got married in 2021 we got a cat 🐈 and now we have two. Thank you for this video it was filled with so much truth!
Ashley & Johnny, thank you for being a true witness in your journey. All vocations have their own set of character building struggles. It sounds like you're both growing in holiness together & striving to get each other to Heaven
✡️✝️🛐 🙏🏻❤️🔥Be encouraged. James 1:2 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,"
Ashley and Johnny I am new to you’re channel and I find you very encouraging. As a single women waiting for who Jesus has for me has been hard I know he is faithful and I will see my husband soon. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Praying for you my friend! That you would soak up this season of singleness with gratitude, joy, and contentment. I know it is very hard. God sees your hearts and loves you so deeply.
Thank you so much for you’re prayers. Do you recommend any books?
Bus stop and bicycles by Taryn Rose, she’s a christian writer
@@alinealine4592 thank you.
Thank you for this.. My husband and I have been married for just over 1 year now, so still new at it.. It's encouraging to hear other believers talk about the challenges of marriage honestly, as well as the bliss.. It felt good to relate..
My husband and I are going for 5 years now and we still have little spats about my messiness and his cleanliness! 🤣🤣 he always puts everything in its place and I am the worst in that. But marriage is dynamic. It always changing as you grow and change. Marriage is a gift and we have so much fun together.
We don’t mind the ranting and long videos ! Love this though, not married yet but I’ve seen so much on always trying to out serve your spouse and I think that’s great advise ❤️
We’ve just celebrated our 36th anniversary…& we are here to say that through all the ups & downs, good times & hard times…our love just grows stronger. Here’s to your next thirty years. ❤
Congrats, we also have been married the same lenght ;)
Thank you so much for this beautifully vulnerable video. My husband and I got married shortly after you guys and it was so helpful being able to relate to each point you shared and know that the friction we have faced and do face is because we really are two different and sinful people coming together in a union, but that this can and does work because we have Jesus humbling us every single day. I love the positive note you ended on, marriage truly is a blessing and a gift, as is singleness. We can delight in where the Lord leads each of us in His plan, because He is a good, good Father! Have an awesome day you two and thank you again xxx Much love from Cape Town, South Africa
Thank you so much friend! You are not alone! :) Blessings and love from Johnny and I
@@coffeeandbibletime ❤️❤️❤️
I love that you guys were so transparent, thank you so much. I was soo blessed and inspired. God bless your journey together, may you have many fulfill years together with the Lord.
❤ I love your honesty and transparency.
It is beautiful to see God working in your hearts and marriage.
Hey Ashley and Johnny! Yep! Marriage is a humbling thing. But there’s joy! My hubby and I are going 9 years in December and there’s been a lot of fun, a lot of adventure, a lot of breaking, but a lot of growth. Thank you for sharing with so much rawness. I feel like you guys are my friends.☺️ God bless you two! -Hanna
Awwwww thank you friend ❤❤❤
I'm glad to have viewed this because it's my desire. Johnny is patient and it's good to see you both because of the dynamic it brings. The length of the video was nice and it's good to freely hear you both. Please take your time and follow his lead.
Thank you friend!
“Marriage does not improve your singleness, it exposes it.” - Pastor Michael Todd; Transformation Church ❤
The most corrupt “pastor” of our day 😍
@@HannahBirzes yes Did you see the Easter Service???
Hi Ashley and Johnny! I appreciated how you both shared your hearts authentically. I think it will be helpful for many people who have questions or ideologies about marriage. I do want to encourage you that the first year of marriage really is the hardest. Blending two individual lives together is a process and it tests every bit of us at times. I can say that after 11 years of marriage, it's been a beautiful journey and after a while those things that might have driven you crazy about in the beginning will make you giggle when you look back. Love is very sacrificial and it's so rewarding to die to self for one another. The joy that is birthed through that makes it worth every moment as you find your new norm that's part of God's beautiful plan for your life 🙏💕🥰
Love the idea of bragging. I love being married and it’s easy to brag!! Thanks for sharing with us ❤
Your first and last point ar so good! I recently got married and for me its the same: the worst part is missing my family and the best part is being married with my best friend
Going to bed angry.
I was looking into some Gottman psychology- and the way to not go to bed angry- practically-
Is a “repair attempt”
It sounds simple. But just find a way to say- hey I love you. We are a team, we are just being silly again. Let’s not fight.
I do not exactly condone psychology but when it supports the Bible I like it. It helped me make sense of the word.
Gracias por terminar el vídeo con una nota positiva 😄
Saludos y bendiciones desde Honduras!!!
Gracias :) ❤❤❤
Love the true reactions to each other’s comments. 😊
Ashley is frugal.
❤ Love this
Loooved this video! It is such a pleasure to watch you two. Your honesty and humor is refreshing 💗 Thank you both for being willing to share your lives with us! God bless everybody please know what a blessing you are in this world 🦋
I was working and on my own when I met my husband...at work! The first year together is very hard. It's full of learning experiences about each other and how to live with each other. After you get over the first year things will start to smooth out and as you each get into your own routines and your routines together it will be much better. You're both wonderful people and it's going to all work out because the Lord is taking care of everything! Smooches to Neo!
Great video you both are inspiring. My hubby and I have been married for 28 years. ❤
Yup, my mom always says, "I'm not cheap, I'm frugal!" 10:00
A growth and learning process and so much change happening at once, thank you for sharing ❤💕
Thank you for sharing your life with us. It really helps me to see, what a young Christian Married couple is going through. It can help us older couples, because there may be a time; when I may have to counsel someone, who is single or young. And then maybe they might reach out to me or ask me for advice?
I pray with the help of the Holy Spirit, to help me to get closer to Him, to learn from Him so that when that time comes, I can be ready to share with someone whoever that might be what I've learned with God so that I can help them most importantly using Godly wisdom and discernment. And for my own Husband too, so that we can both be on the same page, because we should be praying for our spouse as well.
Hi from Colombia. 🇨🇴 I love your videos, You guys are so beautiful! hope God help you in every plan you have ahead.
my father told me that a wedding is nice but marriage is something which you do every day.
This is soo good 💕
Thanks for making this video and sharing your personal struggles. I learned a lot!
I love this , so open and honest. Thank you for your honesty.
I agree with all your discoveries. Because you both are uniquely created, no one can give you a heads up on what to expect...But the best part like anything in life...Is you both have to experience it. Wait until children come into the equation. This is going to be a very beautiful season of uncovering things that you both can learn from and things that you will Love about each other. I've been married 17 yrs and we've known each other 23 yrs. I finally turned to my husband... And said, "Can you be Jesus in our home, so I can be your Bride?" The Lord has transformed our relationship, on this request alone... And of course he answered...Yes. 🤗😂💞
Hi, guys!! Sounds like just one is the Transition to being married...
This gave me some new thoughts on marriage.
You guys are doing great and with Jesus on your side youll get through anything! I can do all things through christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Ashley, i gotta say u look super pretty! You can just see Jesus thru u both. Many blessings
I texted this number yesterday. Not sure if it worked
Thanks you so much for sharing sincerely. God bless you🙏
You guys have learned so much and I believe God will have you use that knowledge in future. I think you both have good senses of humour so that is really needed when we take ourselves or our opinions too seriously. May God bless you both. ❤️🇨🇦🙏
I love the sign with Song of Solomon🥰✝️🥰
😂💁🏽♀️Hubby & I will be celebrating (God willing) 28 years of marriage soon, and we STILL learn to compromise. After all this time, we still find new things out about 1 another.
Love your videos so much! God bless
Hai sis 🌼 thankyou for the video you shared. I love your videos.
Could you please make a video for a new believers in Christ?
I hope you read my comments.
I'm a new believers but I didn't know what to do.. I didn't know what the steps I should take next 🥺
Very well said. Thank you both 🌹
These are amazing points.. We will be married 30 years at the end of the month, and we are still figuring it out. Going to bed angry facts. The wife will wake up angry still because she will not sleep well, while is he sleep great :) The Lord at the center of your marriage and being the solid rock you will stand on. I hated when people would say how is marriage or just wait you are still newlyweds. I still feel like a newlywed he is my best friend. You too are amazing when people ask how is marriage ask them how should it be lol... Then when they answer say yep that is how it is :) Always build each other up.
Great video! Lots of great truth!
Created to be a help meet by Debbie Pearl is a great book, I wish I would have read it before getting married. I think it would save so many marriages. There is a men’s version by her husband as well!
Thank you for that recommendation friend!
No this book is horrible and condones a woman staying with an abusive man, blames the woman and puts the weight of the marital issues on the woman. It will make your marriage go easier because you will be worshipping your husband as if he is God. This book kept me (and many other women I know) in horribly abusive marriages for years. Saving marriages shouldn’t be the goal, saving people should be. God does not our marriage over individuals and their relationship with him.
@@186itaalia there’s are specific chapters on how to report an abusive husband to the authorizes. There is also a version for the husband. Sorry to upset you. I’m sorry you had a hard marriage.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for being honest 🌷
My son likes a clean house. So HE cleans a lot. I have told him if something bothers you…take care of it. You have two arms , two legs also.
What a wonderful point that the devil will try to destroy the marriage bed of rest and intimacy.
Hi Ashley and Johnny, You inspire me to learn God's words more and more. I am from India and Roman Catholic. Could you please guide to good universities or colleges where I can learn more about God and start my career in God's work?
You should write a book about it ♥️
Hello! I really love your prayer journal! Are they still available?!
I can understand how you feel about the differences in the mess part , I'm from a Mennonite background they are very tidy people and when I got married to my Mexican husband he's even more tidy than me! It was hard and still is hard finding the balance it's a process and when I watch you guys I see us in you we are an interracial couple raised differently my whole family moved to Canada a little bit before our wedding and we live in Mexico!
wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story. :) So encouraging to hear!
Instead of "having to compromise" maybe negotiate things. Find a middle ground where you BOTH are happy with the end result.
If you move in together before you're married, it makes the transition to marriage easier and also helps you realize if you're truly 100% compatible with your partner. Just saying 🤷🏻♀️
Ashley or Johnny this is school related not marriage related but I am writing a paper (not at a Christian college) but I am going to reference the Bible do either of you know how to do a works cited in MLA format for the Bible?
Towel of babel was funny haha
I’ve never understood the whole “marriage is hard” thing. I’ve been married over 6 years and we’ve been together for 10, and it’s never been hard for a second. Like, not even once. No hard work, no second thoughts, nothing. Maybe we are the ones doing it wrong? Lol
Lol...maybe 🤣 naah.. thankfully each marriage is different and comes with its own set of stuff. Rejoice and be glad that you have a problem free marriage
@@natalieduplessis2643 I am thankful every day! 🤗
Me and my husband are the same 6 years on and no issues. We think alike alot which helps.
My fiance keeps a mount everest of clothes in his room 😂
Hey kids….smart decision to not live so close family. This is a time to learn who your life will be shared with. Face it you both (to some degree) are spoiled and satan is going to try to pit you against each other. As Jesus said I hope you both considered the cost. Your relationship will grow precept upon precept. Don’t fall into the old lie… I don’t feel love anymore. You both are mature enough to know a sound marriage doesn’t just happen. Lots of work but it will be worth it. It gets sweeter as you both learn the type of love it takes to say “sorry” even if you were right. The actions after that will say a lot. Laughter is so important! Covenant to never say/ think divorce. Pray pray pray. When God blesses your home with a child… never never make your spouse feel they are no longer needed. They come right under the Father in heaven then children. Happy for you guys on this wonderful road you are on.
We need a couple channel pls 🤗😊
Thats true about people making marriage have a bad rap. Churches do the same for people who dont want to be married because of what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7 about a married oerson is concerned about the world and how they please God and their husband/wife. I dont want to he married because Ive had a lot of relationships doing it wrong and they always take my time away from God. I just want my 100% of my time and energy to God only. So please dont make singles feel bad for being single. Chirches always made ke think I should he desperate for a husband.
No marriage/ relationship is perfect!
The tower of babel 😂
maybe staying together for a month before marriage would be a nice idea so that we are aware of another person's bad habits before it's too late?
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Marriage is such a strange thing. No two marriages are the same. The only thing that anchors us is the marriage of God with Israel--and that marriage failed. We must not take marriage lightly. It can be the best of all worlds, or the worst of all worlds.
Keep learning. Teach us new and wonderful things.
“No stream, tap to retry” keeps showing up but all other videos are loading and playing fine. Not able to watch. Not sure why?
Should be working now
@@genomerc yes it is thanks for your comment! It was posted 22 minutes prior and still not working. Odd. Blessings to you!
Blessed💝❤💌💟💞💙💚💛💛💚💙💜💜🗨💖💖💖