277. Resilience Begins at Birth feat. Erica Komisar
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- čas přidán 7. 05. 2023
- Mental health disorders have become an epidemic in today's society. Yet, we often fail to recognize the critical impact of early childhood adversity and our relationships with our parents, especially our mothers, on the mental and physical health of adolescents.
Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst and also a contributor, contributing editor at the Institute for Family Studies, journalist, and author. Her recent book “Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety” explores how to raise emotionally healthy, resilient adolescents in a time of great stress.
Erica and Greg discuss how the cultural emphasis, especially in the West, on individual success outside of the home often results in a reluctance to make necessary sacrifices in raising children and why dedicating time to establish a strong emotional foundation for the future generation is a significant and fulfilling responsibility for every parent.
unSILOed Podcast is produced by University FM.
Wow, this is exactly what I needed the puzzles are starting to fit. Parents who want to be a better parent I highly recommend this informational video. There is so much ignorance this video was not about anti-feminism, It’s about caring for your children. We have too much WE generation, we need more care generation!!!❤ Thank you!!
I love this woman and what she does and what shes saying
I think the over-caregiving you’re talking about is a result of guilt from not being there.
Great Interview. I learned a lot from you Erica!
This is great. Thank you
Erica thank you
Your work helps so much
A lot of wisdom.
Such a good interview you two, thank you:)
The part about excitability spoke to me. The night before hearing this I lay in bed wondering if my 8 month old son loves me any less than his father as I didn’t elicit the static screeches and squalls his father does from spinning him around like pizza dough. I’ll let Daddy do thrills and I’ll be the calming source.
Never question if your kid loves you. He loves you more than you could ever know!
A little anecdote, my grandmother was the one who hyped up my mother when she was little. But mom's grandmother lived with them and was the one to calm her down when she was a little girl. Mom is in her 70s now and she still speaks with loving reverence about her grandmother and how much she appreciates that she provided her a calming place and was an important rock for her. Calming rocks are a treasure too and a mix of positive personalities in a child's life can be a real blessing.
08:45
I LOVE Erica. But why is she wearing those glasses
I imagine she likes them and they bring her joy! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Why not wear them?
Eyes age too. She is not young anymore.
"It takes a village to raise a child", African proverb
It is a global village now is how I see it.
The problem with being fascinated by your baby is thst babies -even your own really aren't fascinating. And compared with all the entertainment options out there they are even less fascinating.
So how do you deal with this truth? One obvious thing is to develop your tolerance for boredom.
But just telling us that we have to be fascinated with our babies -who aren't fascinating- in order for them to have good outcomes is not helpful.
We need the actual tools of what that looks like. In terms of concrete behaviors and protocols for daily moments.
I as many other mothers found their baby fascinating I have thousands photos of both in just their first year. I thought they were thw most beautiful babies ever born, now two and seven years after I can see it was just the mother's live blindness 😂😂😂
Are you depressed? I mean you really aren’t into you’re baby at all ? Cause I don’t think that’s normal. They’re not fascinating all the time but I couldn’t stop looking at mine and taking pictures and going crazy over every little change he went through. There were times that were boring and isolating tho , I needed breaks to myself, but if you are just watching the clock then you’re not making the most of it. You have to pick a couple things every day that would bond you or you would like. I liked having him in a cute outfit, taking him in the stroller for a walk in the woods or beach boardwalk, setting up toys in a special way for him, taking him to the pool , trying new foods I made for him. Try to do something different everyday so it’s not the same boring routine but add in what you like. What’s important to you that you can share - I even read books when he was just months old because I like books. I teach him to swim because I like being in a pool. I also breastfed, and co-sleep, and cuddle a lot which I think gave us a very strong bond. Once they start talking it’s a lot more fun.
I too am fascinated with my baby. The interactions and the many things I can learn about them, talking to them and learning about them. Lots of facial expressions and babbling and cooing. People think my baby is a smiling/happy baby. What they don’t realize is I choose to always smile/laugh with her through lots of interactions like diaper changes, showers and also I talk to her about what I am doing as I go through it, what am eating…I smile and laugh and she started doing the same back or just observe. And so every time I see her she smiles and I smile back or I smile and she does the same. So it’s those interactions that I try to make positive, learn to comfort her, (through our interactions I know how to soothe her) despite the fact that she is 3 months and not anywhere close to forming words and us have a conversation, we communicate a lot.
I agree, when that is not what was given to you, then you may not know how to (be fascinated) give it to your child. Dr. Komisar gives examples in her book, so that may be a good place to start. We are all learning.
If you feel your own baby is boring you need therapy.
you know what's NOT fascinating? sitting in a cubicle taking calls all day 9-5 . I'll take being a stay at home mom over my old corporate job any day