I initially thought this video was going to be about 'being bold' and women should stop appologizing - this video isn't that at all and is way better! Loved the video - I thought a more suitable title might be 'What To Tell Someone When They're "Sorry" ' . Leila articulated this so well it's everything that I try to tell people who've appologized to me in the past - but she just made it so clear - going to be sending this to anyone who throws me an empty appology.
I have a growing problem with the unaccountably some people exhibit when not owning their mistakes and/or misbehavior, and justify their not apologizing. I agree the apologizing is not an indicator of a change in behavior. That said, IMHO, the act of offering a sincere apology often isn’t as much about the person apologizing as it is about being accountable (humble?) to a wronged individual or party.
🙏Unsolicited advice: I get that, but use caution. If they know words are meaningful to you, manipulators will fake apologize…so still focus on what they DO, not just what they say 🙏🫶
@@ameliamorningstar I agree. From my own experience, I avoid people who don’t (won’t) apologize. It’s binary- a person either recognizes when they’ve done something wrong or they don’t. I look for people who are accountable for their actions AND work to change their behavior. (…and I aspire to be that kind of person, too.)
I agree. Take accountability for your actions and then do something about it. Humans are often so prideful that they don't acknowledge what they did to create the mishap or the problem in the first place, and then make changes to shift their behavior. To be able to STOP and acknowledge is often the first step in true lasting healing, development and transformation in anything. Apologizing is not for the other person; it's for the person who is saying it. It's up to the other person to decide how they want to receive the words. @@ISpiers
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:15 *💬 Overvaluing apologies fosters a culture where repeated harmful behavior is excused without genuine change.* 00:57 *🔄 True apology involves committing to a plan for behavioral change rather than just saying sorry.* 02:34 *⚖️ Lack of consequences or feedback for repeated harmful behavior perpetuates toxic dynamics within teams and organizations.* 05:21 *💭 Focusing on the future and actionable steps for improvement is more productive than dwelling on past mistakes or emotions.* 13:02 *📈 Verbal apologies should be accompanied by a commitment to behavioral change and future-focused actions for effective resolution.*
My parents don't even say "sorry". Saying the word at least shows acknowledging your wrong which is the beginning of any behavioural change. I'm literally at level 0 with that thing, trying to extract a sorry from their mouth but it seems very painful to them. Update: I took action on your content: just left a meeting with my family with an action plan for everyone
If I could give this video more than one like I would!!! You give great advice. It's awesome that you understand how to lower your own emotional reactivity by utilizing emotional intelligence. This is an area of life that most humans could improve and benefit from. I whole-heartedly agree that actions speak louder than words and I do appreciate when people are able to acknowledge a mistake they've made, learn from it, and do better moving forward. That is the ultimate sincere apology. Thanks for the video! ❤❤❤
Apologies are interesting, because they’re often ostensible. Very rarely do they align perfectly with their dictionary definitions, which includes an expression of regret. I think the definition is where a lot of the “calls to action” to change behaviour are coming from, because regret typically implies remorse and a desire for atonement. However, since a lot of apologies aren’t really rooted in regret, there isn’t the same compulsion to change. Consider, for instance, the scenario where someone utters a hurtful remark. They might genuinely regret their words and offer what appears to be a sincere apology. Yet, it’s equally plausible for an apology to act primarily as a conciliatory gesture. This is akin to when I apologize to a grieving friend or family member at a funeral-not to express regret, but to extend solidarity. This discrepancy underscores the importance of engaging in actual conversations rather than relying solely on gestural apologies, especially when a change in behaviour is necessary. However, I think the significance of acknowledging a situation shouldn’t be undervalued. As others have pointed out already, failing to acknowledge an issue often becomes a barrier to any form of action.
i don't really know how to say the following without sounding sexist or condescending: but holy shit, Leila, you have more balls and brains than most of the men I once considered smart,intelligent.
saying you are sorry is an acknowledgment that you have done or said something wrong to the offended person. that is necessary. But her/him is right about taking action to change bad behavior.
I agree, yet you’re also still communicating the words of humility to say you’re sorry. I believe the words still matter but def agree it needs to be followed with concrete plans to change.
I agree about saying sorry vaguely. Especially when you have no fault in a scenario. I had a boss say I lacked 'empathy' bc I did not say it. She could only see me as wrong and not try understand my perspective.
The information is great. I’d recommend some softer lighting, maybe some colored key lights and less contrast on the footage color correction. Chris Williamson is a great example of this sort of lighting. Specifically his interview with Eric Weinstein.
I REALLY HATE being interrupted when I am in a season of No. People will have genuine intentions to connect but I can't help myself but be pissed. Not apologizing just made me seem like an asshole, which stopped people from reaching out to me, which helped me skyrocket my business!!!! There's a reason you are an asshole. Don't apologize for it.
what a ridiculous piece of advice. you say sorry when you make a mistake and as an adult there is clear expectation that you will improve it. you are not a child lol. this is like just made up advice for people who are gullible.
Bruh... I thinks you didnt understand properly. She clearly said people says sorry just to excuse their self for that moment but they don't change their behaviour.
"Don't apologize - change your behavior"
-My grade school social studies teacher
The best apology is changed behavior.
I initially thought this video was going to be about 'being bold' and women should stop appologizing - this video isn't that at all and is way better! Loved the video - I thought a more suitable title might be 'What To Tell Someone When They're "Sorry" ' . Leila articulated this so well it's everything that I try to tell people who've appologized to me in the past - but she just made it so clear - going to be sending this to anyone who throws me an empty appology.
I have a growing problem with the unaccountably some people exhibit when not owning their mistakes and/or misbehavior, and justify their not apologizing.
I agree the apologizing is not an indicator of a change in behavior. That said, IMHO, the act of offering a sincere apology often isn’t as much about the person apologizing as it is about being accountable (humble?) to a wronged individual or party.
🙏Unsolicited advice: I get that, but use caution. If they know words are meaningful to you, manipulators will fake apologize…so still focus on what they DO, not just what they say 🙏🫶
@@ameliamorningstar I agree.
From my own experience, I avoid people who don’t (won’t) apologize. It’s binary- a person either recognizes when they’ve done something wrong or they don’t.
I look for people who are accountable for their actions AND work to change their behavior.
(…and I aspire to be that kind of person, too.)
I agree. Take accountability for your actions and then do something about it. Humans are often so prideful that they don't acknowledge what they did to create the mishap or the problem in the first place, and then make changes to shift their behavior. To be able to STOP and acknowledge is often the first step in true lasting healing, development and transformation in anything. Apologizing is not for the other person; it's for the person who is saying it. It's up to the other person to decide how they want to receive the words. @@ISpiers
I’m all for changing behavior to show your apology is genuine. Learning not to react off emotion is a challenge. I win more than I lose 😊
Sorry... I'll try not to apologise so often
Are you Canadian? 🇨🇦😂 You sound like one of us w all that apologizin 🤣
@@ameliamorningstar Ironically, I almost never say sorry
You need to change the behavior and demonstrate what you’ve learned and what you plan on doing next. 🙏🏾
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:15 *💬 Overvaluing apologies fosters a culture where repeated harmful behavior is excused without genuine change.*
00:57 *🔄 True apology involves committing to a plan for behavioral change rather than just saying sorry.*
02:34 *⚖️ Lack of consequences or feedback for repeated harmful behavior perpetuates toxic dynamics within teams and organizations.*
05:21 *💭 Focusing on the future and actionable steps for improvement is more productive than dwelling on past mistakes or emotions.*
13:02 *📈 Verbal apologies should be accompanied by a commitment to behavioral change and future-focused actions for effective resolution.*
My parents don't even say "sorry". Saying the word at least shows acknowledging your wrong which is the beginning of any behavioural change. I'm literally at level 0 with that thing, trying to extract a sorry from their mouth but it seems very painful to them.
Update: I took action on your content: just left a meeting with my family with an action plan for everyone
Exactly don’t apologize DO something about it.
Excuses I can’t take those to the bank. 😂
We have a supplier that opens up every email with “I apologize”, drives me nutz
Insightful as always Leila. ❤
Everyone should read the book "Necessary Endings". Leila's on point with alot of concepts in the book.
Every Canadians worst nightmare 😂 Great Video!
If I could give this video more than one like I would!!! You give great advice. It's awesome that you understand how to lower your own emotional reactivity by utilizing emotional intelligence. This is an area of life that most humans could improve and benefit from.
I whole-heartedly agree that actions speak louder than words and I do appreciate when people are able to acknowledge a mistake they've made, learn from it, and do better moving forward. That is the ultimate sincere apology.
Thanks for the video!
❤❤❤
Apologies are interesting, because they’re often ostensible. Very rarely do they align perfectly with their dictionary definitions, which includes an expression of regret.
I think the definition is where a lot of the “calls to action” to change behaviour are coming from, because regret typically implies remorse and a desire for atonement. However, since a lot of apologies aren’t really rooted in regret, there isn’t the same compulsion to change.
Consider, for instance, the scenario where someone utters a hurtful remark. They might genuinely regret their words and offer what appears to be a sincere apology. Yet, it’s equally plausible for an apology to act primarily as a conciliatory gesture. This is akin to when I apologize to a grieving friend or family member at a funeral-not to express regret, but to extend solidarity.
This discrepancy underscores the importance of engaging in actual conversations rather than relying solely on gestural apologies, especially when a change in behaviour is necessary. However, I think the significance of acknowledging a situation shouldn’t be undervalued. As others have pointed out already, failing to acknowledge an issue often becomes a barrier to any form of action.
Love this! So easy to say sorry and not easy to actually change👏🔥🚀
i don't really know how to say the following without sounding sexist or condescending: but holy shit, Leila, you have more balls and brains than most of the men I once considered smart,intelligent.
saying you are sorry is an acknowledgment that you have done or said something wrong to the offended person. that is necessary. But her/him is right about taking action to change bad behavior.
I agree, yet you’re also still communicating the words of humility to say you’re sorry. I believe the words still matter but def agree it needs to be followed with concrete plans to change.
I agree about saying sorry vaguely. Especially when you have no fault in a scenario. I had a boss say I lacked 'empathy' bc I did not say it. She could only see me as wrong and not try understand my perspective.
I like the new style of content. You guys are awesome 🎉
Action over apologies!
Love the normal narrative.
I so so needed this
Thanks mommy
Sorry Liz i cant! Im Canadian!
The information is great. I’d recommend some softer lighting, maybe some colored key lights and less contrast on the footage color correction.
Chris Williamson is a great example of this sort of lighting. Specifically his interview with Eric Weinstein.
Does she read comments?
PREACH
I’m sorry I left the toilet seat up. Wait - I thought I put it down, so who did it?
my ex was bad at cooking i told her to get better haha
can you do a video going deeper into emotional reactivity?
Fun fact: Alex also sat on that chair
Leila mades good videos yet the cussing is sadly a downside.
That’s part of her brand.. that’s just her. It’s her if she don’t cuss then it’s not her she’s acting then.. it’s her! 💪🏼
Amen
Every Canadian: "Okay... I'm sorry Leila. DANGIT!"
I REALLY HATE being interrupted when I am in a season of No. People will have genuine intentions to connect but I can't help myself but be pissed. Not apologizing just made me seem like an asshole, which stopped people from reaching out to me, which helped me skyrocket my business!!!! There's a reason you are an asshole. Don't apologize for it.
how long do they have to show they changed the behavior....?
“Well I’m sorry I can’t stop being a bitch but how is that my fault” 😂
what a ridiculous piece of advice. you say sorry when you make a mistake and as an adult there is clear expectation that you will improve it. you are not a child lol. this is like just made up advice for people who are gullible.
Bruh... I thinks you didnt understand properly. She clearly said people says sorry just to excuse their self for that moment but they don't change their behaviour.
I’m allergic to your character and videos