Straight Talk: Women Making the First Move
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- čas přidán 25. 01. 2019
- Studies are showing that with online dating, when women make the first move they stand out more. Does that mean chivalry is on it’s way out?
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“Show up as who you are, and stop playing these games” 🎯
Thank you
And being forward doesn't scare off the right person. Only the wrong ones.
Yea right. Tell your first date that you have a bad record, you have 4 kids by 4 different mother/father and one woman that's currently pregnant, and you have a false pedophile claim on your behalf and see how of these people that could have been right for you run away. You have to be reserve on certain things when you are meeting someone the first time. They don't know you so of course they going to run because they won't know what to expect. You can't share too much information with someone you barely know.
@@rikanejose2611 In that situation the people you think are "right" for you will be wrong for you. A woman with multiple babies from different men, who is currently pregnant with a baby by another man might stick around.
To all y’all who think you’re too good to pursue the guy and wanna be pursued. Wel you’re gonna miss out on a lot of options. If you want something. Go get it. Thank god my girl pursued me. She knew what she wanted and she got it. Foolish pride will inhibit so many experiences for you lot
Where is "your girl" at now? Im guessing yall didnt get married.
In the beginning I think both guys and girls should make the first move but after the first 2 dates I would like him to persue me and make it known to me. I personally love it whem a man does that. But I'm not lazy either, I will put effort in our moments together and I love to take care of him and suprise him or something. But that's later on for me...
They do this out of insecurity. They are so insecure that they want to be persued to feel good about themselves.
Absolutely man !! I will be more serious with her if she approaches me , thats a FACT !!
@@orlando1145 that doesnt mean they will get married the other way around either
Its not about the first move, its about presenting the opportunity for the person
I think when a girl makes the move first, and it could just be a confirmation that I'm attractive, I absolutely love that because I don't have to spend so much time (Because I'm pretty shy) trying to find that out. When you let me know I instantly calm down and then I'm showing my true self and seeing if this can work
Yall want someone who wants you, but I would also want someone who wants me too. And its weird because some women will entertain men even when they don't like them because they like the attention.
are someone to pay for their meal. LOL
Same with "men"
women entertaining men thats very rare
Tyra Wideman
We like attention, but we don’t date women just for the attention.
preach
Of course they're more likely to stand out women rarely ever make the first move so when she makes the first move on him he is surprised because it rarely if ever happens. Making your moves doesn't scare off a guy btw, those thoughts that you have about rejection ladies men have those same exact thoughts when we approach you.
You stole my comment!.
Preach!
True!
It scares off them punks
Tyra Wideman looks like the gym scared you off
Cari to friends: Go On The Date
Cari to self: I WILL NOT MAKE THE FIRST MOVE 🤷♂️
Please don’t let your show be cancelled Steve 🙏🏾 your show brings me so much happiness I would be devastated if it was cancelled!
Totally agree with Cari ! I think online dating as a woman already makes you look vulnerable, and I prefer a man to pursue me, because I want to be sure that he is really interested....
Yall want someone who wants you, but I would also want someone who wants me too. And its weird because some women will entertain men even when they don't like them because they like the attention.
@@SplendidNinja Yes of course, but not all women are like that. Me I'm not like that !
@@theinfamous2492 You can tell by how we respond...
Couldn't I use that same argument as a male?
According to the Gillette advert it's not cool. We are sorry but approaching women has gone down by 78.3%
All these women wanting chivalry and tradition...when it suits.
I’d steer clear of the lot of you as you’re all hard work for no reason than selfish me, me, me attitude.
Jog on.
I you see someone you like ask them out it goes both ways dont complicate it
"Chivalry is when he picks up the check....." lol, I guess I want the cake and eat it too mentality is always there. That's not chivalry, that's feminism.
Women were never the PRIMARY focus of chivalry; they were only a secondary, if not last focus of chivalry.
Dr Goosebumps I always preach this.......Society has it twisted. Chivalry started during the Renaissance, shortly after, If not during the Medieval Period......It was and should still be defined as a code of conduct for Nobility and Knights.
Being a Gentleman goes way beyond how a man treats a woman. It’s how he presents himself to everyone he comes in contact with.
@@EugeneMungin1984 exactly. It's about reverence, honor, patience, faith etc. Keep preaching that message; more people need to hear it.
The most attractive and desirable men are the ones who treat people well and have honor/integrity BECAUSE IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO, not to impress someone, out of obligation or to get some tail. Those men are truly wonderful and should be praised and admired. It doesn't happen often but there are still some men out there who have those qualities.
They haven't been tainted by internet dummies/incels/social media.
@@Asad_Thomas Chivalry is a warrior code of honour among Knights. It is meant to lay the boundaries of battle. Similar to Bushido, the Japanese counterpart for Kenshi/Samurai. Nothing to do with women, just combat.
It is often mistaken for Gallantry, which was the code for being a gentleman to women, because women were possessions back then, so treating her well meant you increase her value, which is in the man's interest because he owns her.
Not many people know of the misuse and original meaning of the term.
@@ThePsychicFish yeah... Its kinda sad those women weren't taught WHY men paid back then... It was because men literally owned women
I'm with the middle woman, my purpose of dating is to find a husband if you are not on the same page. I'd rather be out doing something fun with my friends. I want a spouse, I don't need a spouse.
Stop playing you know deep down you need a spouse
At your age, you need to find a husband fast, or you’ll be just like my mom. Single forever.
Am also looking for a relationship
@@newlife45692 to have kids yes i need one but ultimately it is a choice not i need
@@duck5336 life isn't a race and there is nothing wrong with bring single
This is a matter of who is doing the pursuing. From personal experience I can say it is better for a woman to start by liking a pic or two of a guy rather than messaging him first. This is a lighter way of letting know you are interested. And it still gives him the feeling of being the pursuer. If he feels you are pursuing him, it will probably make him less interested.
but didn't the women make the first move and pursue by liking the first pic.?
He should have these three back more often. They're a good trio.
Too much work with these women, LORD HAVE MERCY ON MEN
Plastic work.?
@@acharich Add that too (plastic surgery), they talk like they are a catch all men dying to have. and above that all they demand from men chivalry,paying there date dinner, and other bunch of demand that third wave feminist movement destroyed it decade ago.
Bass Hart ...and if this is all the work you have to do on the 1st date, just imagine spending the rest of your lives with them 😂😂🤦🏽♂️
@@25mrkeys literally a life time nightmare. RUN FORREST RUN.
It's exhausting even listening to them.
dating in America nowadays is like a game... you gotta know tricks this and that.... Apparently coming up to a girl and say "excuse me, do you have a minute ? i find you very attractive and i'd love to take out to get you to know you better if you're interested" considers being creepy or clingy or too simple and got no game.
This is ridiculous. Not all guys are alike just as not all girls are alike. Some guys know what they want and they want transparency. My hubby and I stayed up late on our very first date talking about everything. We even talked about marriage, kids, finances. Find you a guy who will be transparent with you from the very first date. Some people like playing games and some of us want to know from the very beginning.
This conversation is very much helpful to me cos am really shy to approach woman. Hey Steve u doing a great job, keep it up love ya
Cari : I am afraid of online dating
Me: thank you Cari, well said
Hey I am here to wish you guys have a good day 😊
That's why...I always say say first date dont take her for food. GO GET COFFEE OR LIBRARY/CAFE SPOT and just get to know each other.
Cheap
I agree with coffee as well. And I am a woman. It removes the pressure. I mean 1st date you don’t know each other + coffee date there is no alcohol involved so that means better assessment also
women do not want the responsibility of pursuing, initiating, or making the first move. their egos are too fragile to handle rejection.
We're not suppose to make the first move. Beta men want you to chase.. period
I think it the opposite
So not true, now days women has more balls than men
@Taz Saalim I guess I'm one of the few but I got rejected before, I'm like ok next! Lol
@@naomigates30 💀💀💀
Great debate ,thanks Stive
Heather Monahan was the realest one on there! She was right when she mentioned men and women should be MORE REAL on dates and stop putting up a facade!! I love me some Kandi😍😎. Michelle look good too!!
i aint paying the cheque if she got picked up on a dating site
for me it has made me look desperate whether online or in person, it never works out
Right? I'm not sure how to go about this in the future I don't want to seen as desperate either
You doing it to the wrong guys
Just go about your life and you will eventually mere someone and when you do let him pursue you, call you, make the dinner or movie plans.
Welvome to a mans world. With time you'll master it to make you look not so desperate. Its what we go through with rejections and all, but you learn. Just keep doing you, you'll find the right one eventually.
sharon hillman nahhhh
Idc i take charge and I’m strong and confident. Take it or leave it. 🤣😂💀
Cari nailed it!
Honestly, I find it weird how being the type of person that I am, which I hold myself to very high standards, especially when it comes to the way, I believe people should treat one another, which is just overall being a good human to people, whether it would be not being hateful judge mental resentful, holding grudges against people, accusing or assuming things about people without actually any facts behind it but most importantly, just being humble, open minded, respectful, supportive, honest, accepting loving, caring, kind, straightforward, communicative, spread, peace, joy, and equality to everyone! I think it’s very important when you’re getting to know someone new, whether it’s to get into a relationship with them or even just to build a friendship you need to have those qualities towards one another and you need to actually take the time to get to know someone and be fair to them checking on them to make sure they’re doing fine lend hand in any way that might be helpful and beneficial to their life if needed in our look out for each other communication and all those things I said above are such a big part for a relationship, especially not hiding things from each other. You have to trust the people who are important to you in your life. I know this might sound a bit cocky, but honestly, with the high standards that I hold myself to about how you should treat just people in general, I think that I would be the perfect match for a lot of women, and even for a lot of people who just need a friend if anyone is ever in need of just someone to talk to you or an ear to listen as well. Feel free to reach out to me. I’d be happy to be there for you. My Facebook is Robert Shayne Smith with a picture beside me that says every child matters, my number is 289-828-9304. My Snapchat is theconcertman13! I hope everyone is doing well and I just want everyone to know never stop loving the people who are important in your life and looking out for your fellow human being because everybody in this world goes through tough times and we need to be there for each other
That blue glitter skirt 😍
None of them are worth the trouble.
Me personally have always approached women. I like to take my fate into my own hands. However an attractive woman would have a much easier time if she approached because 9 times out of 10 the guy won't say no.
The person that approaches has the advantage. The reason is that they can approach who they want and select who they feel is the best. The person that waits to be approached can only "hope" that what's best for them approaches.
The fact that you are on online dating site that alone to me is a move already. So just go on and do whatever brought u there💁
*Whether you make the first move is irrelevant*
*...if you're attractive.*
Things that need to go! 1) how many days should you wait to call? none, if you're into them text that same night, or even the next morning. 2) guys going to your friends /fam about you to see what your about. No! You need to go to the girl, because friends /fam aren't always going to give you an accurate answer. You can go off with just asking the friends if I'm single but that's it, the rest you have to take a chance. 3) altimatums: 1st conversation :when a person wants to get to know you first before becoming your boy/girlfriend don't get defensive & demand a relationship, being needy is a turn off!
Some dating site just give two options x or ❤, can't do much with that. There's nothing wrong with women making the 1st move cause some times they have to because the guys where i live don't make an effort to even start or maintain a descent conversation. But if a guy can, then he should make the 1st move instead of complaining about being in the friends zone.
Kandi has a very distinctive voice. I put the video on and instantly knew it was her lol
Let's just say that men are tired swiping right and getting no response.
Im not scared to approach or make 1st move but I'd RATHER the man do it. Most of us would..but it's fine either way
And we RATHER the woman do it. We have been doing it for decades. Your turn.
I think a person needs to pursue what they want in life. How many people say to themselves "what if", especially women. What if I would have said something or did some small gesture to let this guy who she thought was attractive know she was interested? Women believe in pursuing everything else in life, a degree, a job, etc. Why not pursue a relationship. That doesn't mean you're throwing yourself at the guy.
I think some people get lucky at love and some don't like me... im just not good at it... I have been fine a single if that's the way it's going to be for the rest of my life so be it....
Steve repeats himself alot lol. I love the show nonetheless 🤣
Mitch Thompson 😂 😂 u right
Cari is so classy.
These women wait until they are old in the 30's and 40's and expect the man/good man to pick them up when they're old?!
To hell with them!
And some women wonder why they are always single. It takes guts. Men are naturally shy. Initiate and see how much he will open up to you. Whats the worst that can happen apart from am not interested. On to the next . You want something you have never had you must do something you have never done. Jst ma point of view .🤷🏾♂️
Men are naturally shy?
@@noonicon9027 I don't think men are naturally shy. But I think there are plenty of men who are naturally reserved. Many women see overt aggression as a sign of strength. But the strongest men I know are actually reserved and quiet. Many of the loud ones seem to have something to prove, and if you look deeper, you may find that its actually a weakness of theirs. Just my experience.
@@awakenow7147 well said 👍🏾
I feel like men are like cats you have to let them come to you. Don't make it so eazy because you appreciate things you work hard for.
Weird anology men aint the same though
If a girl or woman makes the first move, she can no longer play shy or coy and all the cute, flirty things that come with dating. You can give subtle hints and clues that you're interested in the guy, but let him make a move and want to get to know you 😊
Also I think if we make the first move in person it can come off as desperate/tryhard moreso than online
But were thirsty if we do it 😂 double standards
I think there is a difference between making the first move and pursuing. A woman can let a man know she finds him cute or attractive. She can send some subtle signals she's attracted to him. But pursuing him is a desperate move or a gold digger's move. Men are the hunters and women are the prey. As soon as the man recognizes the signal, he should pursue the woman - green light, go.
💣💣💣
Ivaylo Iontchev 🔥🔥🔥
I literally do not care about hunting and hunted. I just want the woman. I don’t care how we meet. You guys need to be confident enough in your masculinity to not feel bad about getting approached. However, if you truly value chasing women, more power to you. Just seems like a headache to me.
I can’t believe this show was canceled did they do a new show to replace it
1:23 Can anyone please to say, to that woman in yellow shoes, not to twist her foot that way? Lady, you are on TV! This position is one of the first signs of insecurity!
Of all the good things you could say about her, that was what u could come up with? Is that the first sign of a negative attitude?
@@glowwe_1st Dear Gloria, talking about good manners is not a negative attitude.Plus, if you reacted on my comment, means I am right :)))
Cari Champion gets it. Her statements in the middle of this video is a prinary reason why so many people are single these days and haven't had any success with dating the last 10 or 15 years...it shows that dating just isn't the priority it once was...
Tell bumble that.
The new me probably would make.the.first move because everything is moving in a faster pace than it was back in the days. Now, back then in my.younger years, maybe not. Let's me explain, things was slower and we allowed the young man to court us. Things was so much different we had time to enjoy the relationship in the older generation. we learn to respect what was going on with ourselves we examine all the odd before even consider going on a date.. So on the flip side, learn you before involving someone else in your misery and learn him. meaning, Y'all do and don't. "Always be safe than sorry." Because what for you is for you.
Retire this rule: man MUST pay on the first date.
Not just this rule; A LOT of rules!
As a guy i totally agree i wish girls would not be too revelling because really i dont want to know what you have. I also agree with the fact that online dating is intimidating because girls ask lots of things as soon as you too are dating online and to me its like i dont know you as you dont to so dont ask.
I would agree with staying at home to watch TV/movies than going on a dating site x
It's sad to me that you feel this way. I'm 54 and a widow. I go out and meet people. My daddy got remarried in his 70's, there's still hope for all of us.
Chivalry is dead. And women Killed it.
Guys paying for dinner has nothing to do with chivalry tho... opening doors and ladies first, yes.
Well, I think if you're honest on any kind of dating it'll turn to a true thing I mean honest that you should show both of your sides bad like the good once
I’m tired of making the first move.
Guess what Cari. Men want to know you want us too, we want to know you’ll put in the effort for us. I think that’s why a lot of good guys these days don’t date anymore. The expectation to be this perfect, confident alpha that all the girls want is just too lofty to strive for and women have so many choices these days that the moment they get even slightly bored. You’re already gone in their mind. *end rant* haha
Truer words have never been spoken
it doesn't have to be this complicated lol
Oh yeah yeah
Hello, my fellow brother.
NOOOOOO! Women SHOULD be upfront about what they want re marriage, babies, expectations etc....if not, it just causes problems for us...
They’re wrong for making that the thumbnail lol
Your 85 and Single.....lollll
The reason why most men dont approach
1. We dont kno if you have a boyfriend nor do you even want one?
2. Most women will reject a man just by the few weirds he says.
3. Once that confidence is shut down... damn XD...
There aint nothin wrong with women making the first move.... its all about finding that right partner IMO
Woman in the middle was the only one with sense throughout the entire segment
Proud prude 🤣👑
Porsha shade😂💅🏾
border wall old ladies with 596000 mileage . old stock
I've been on online dating sites and most of the time, if i hit a guy up first, they automatically think I want to hook up and try to take advantage of me making the 1st move. In real life when I made the 1st move, guys found it to be unattractive or too aggressive because they'd rather be the one to pursue. All this talk of "women should move on who they like" sounds nice, but I've never seen it work out 🤷🏾♀️ js
If they Automatically want to hook up and you don't then drop the person? Its that simple. If you make the first move, you will eventually find a guy who wants to be with you for you and not just causul sex. Find a guy who's willing to put the time and work in to get to know you. Even if it means you making the first move.
Depends on your approach and how you come off.
If a guy is intimidated just because you approached him, isn’t that already a red flag that you probably wouldn’t have worked well with him anyway? You just figured it out in literal minutes instead of wasting time but also gave yourself the opportunity.
Like many people said, if they guy didn’t take it well it just means that it wouldn’t work in either case (even if he initiated). Trust me, a guy (automatically not a sexist) will really appreciate it if the woman initiated and agree.
welcome to the difficulties of men's world.
Just be you and she dont like it there is a girl who is just like u
I think women should make the first move for now on when it comes to dating. Also from what I've learned, women don't like gentlemen.
False !
@@jessicaj.358 Why false?
I kinda agree with that. I think no matter what you do when you date goes against you. Like if you offer to pay the bill some females get offended while others are happy. On a first date I think guys have more pressure then girls.
@@chloegrace3793 That is true, guys do have more pressure, because how are we suppose to know who is interested in us. Jessica J doesn't understand how men are
@@itsyaboi1846 I agree. And the whole thing where men are supposed to chase females is stupid. When people still "courted" each other that was fine. But now females will say stop and a guy stops but then they get mad and say if he really liked ne he would have kept chasing. But when they dont listen men are called stalkers. When it comes to the dating world for men I feel like it is very confusing
Girls are (selectively traditional ) I’ll never pay for a first date .. is also 50/50
I never play games. I'm open about who I am. I don't have a representative hahaahaaa. Waste of time. I would never do online dating. WTF??!!
What I understand from the video is, must of them wasted their life during young age. And now when they turned 30 they want some body to deal with their dramas.
If that's all you got from the video, you are being deliberately obtuse. The point is, Steve encourages men to make the first move. Most women and most men prefer that the man makes the first move.
Has nothing to do with what you are projecting.
you are crazy @@noonicon9027
Very rarely is anybody actually emotinally or mentally ready for marriage & kids in their 20s. There's a reason why divorce rate is so high for couples who get married so young..ALSO 30 IS YOUNG ..JS
How is it we are so busy do the most natural thing in the world we have lost our minds
Dating in America seems like the middle ages
0:23, no time for dating. The excuse of no time because I work or even go to school is the most load of crap statement ever. Men have worked forever (obviously because in most cases women weren't allowed), and they had time for god damn everything. I hate the I don't have time excuse more than anything in the world. MAKE THE DAMN TIME.
I will never ever make the first move,because a guy that is true/good intentions & sincere about his feelings and really like you will show and prove his love to you...😍😊😍
Damn Caris legs!!!!
Women makes first moved on me before because I grew up as a handsome guy so I don't mind women make the first move on me but she has to prove to me she have qualities are the relationship going to be very short.
Man should pull their chair and pay the check, that woman is stuck in the 50s. I like it when a woman offers to pay. My ex and I used to always take turns.
Cari has a disdain for black men. She can't attain any of these black rich 1% black men, and she has been bitter af about it.
shes too old for them at 43
Which one is that..?
Being lazy is not a dating rule.
The women that have to make the first move are have limited options or are dysfunctional, sometimes both.
Funny how women spend their teenage years and their 20's wasting men time only to turn around in their 30's and 40's and say don't waste my time...Ugh such hypocrites
for some odd reason it bothers me that Cari lays her foot on the side like that.
Girl if u come real at me I come real at you,
I don't like those fake acts either
'I want a man to pursue me, I want to see that he really wants me'. No, ladies. The only reason why you really like that men usually take the initiative, is because you are more scared than us men. You dont wanne risk getting rejected or to feel awkward or any of that. You want men to carry 100 % of the risk. I have no problem with that. I like that hunt. But lets get real here. Fear and ego is the real motivation here. Women like it that men take the risks. Which is why men are usally tougher, more confident, mentally stronger than women. Not because women dont have the potential to be like that. But because a pretty substantial number of men actually leaves their comfortzone. Which makes you stronger, more confident, less scared. 'I like being pursued' my ass. Who doesnt like that. But thats not the driving motivator. Women are simply more scared than men. More easily intimidated, less brave and couragerous. And that says somebody who loves and respects women. But I also say how things are. Without any of that moral superficial political correctness. Thats how it is. Men are mentally stronger because they gotta challenge themselves much more and need to address their fears way more often. A guy, no matter how shy or inexperienced, a guy taht has no idea how to approach a girl, knows that society and women expect him to know all that and be smooth and confident at the same time while diong something which most women fear more than death.
Incorrect. Clearly you know nothing about women.
@@noonicon9027 You are actually really trying to argue that fear isnt a driving motivator? Dood, I cant even take you seriously because clearly you know nothing about humans in general hehe. So, youre just a child. Youll get there little one. Dont worry. And youll understand.
@@noonicon9027 was gonna say same thing!! Lol Boy is he WAY OFF!! 🙄
@@noonicon9027 and clearly you know nothing of men
Responding from the era of Covid-19... nurses, the majority of whom are women, are incredibly brave, and there are a lot of woman in caretaking and community roles who didn't just start being brave during the pandemic.
I sometimes think we all need to get off these things and spend more time in the real world... there are a TON of brave women and men out here whose courage is overlooked every day... but the women are ESPECIALLY overlooked.
chivalry is dead because women are not attracted to that - red pill
No - women are not attracted to YOU. Big difference.
@@noonicon9027 no they don't like it,simple ,stop blaming it on people
Up
The last woman on the end who say she dont like online dating...she got a man???? Why limit yourself for love?
Steve you need to get with the times and stop deceiving women
I mean if shes lazy maybe she dont want to go and find someone? If she wanted someone she would find someone wouldnt she? But is she really lazy?
Man y'all dnt listen to the first lady, she J was on dating website last week she gave ya boy a like
💀😂💀