How It Feels to Be Single at 35
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- čas přidán 13. 09. 2024
- My 35th birthday is this week! I've been feeling a lot of freedom in this area and just wanted to share this with you. If this resonates, please like and leave a comment!
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Hi Colleen! 35 is still young. You have time for marriage and kids, if that’s what you want. I know how you feel though. I had a cut off for myself too-mine was 30. After several failed relationships (2 engagements), I thought it wasn’t in the cards for me. But then I let a friend set me up with his best friend and that best friend is now my best friend and husband. We didn’t get married until we were both 35 (we met at 32) and we had our daughter at 38. We’re now 52 and he honestly is my soulmate. We laugh together every day and accept each other’s quirks and allow each other to have our “me time”. You are wise not to settle. I almost did and can’t imagine my life if I had. I love your videos! ❤
Thank you! I'm glad you've had a journey that you're happy with :)
Hi Colleen! I've watched lots of your vids (mostly freelancing ones) and I really like you plus I'm envious of your life. I'm a 43 yr-old woman and got married at age 27. I'm not saying marriage isn't great, but whichever path you choose, you miss out on a lot. The grass is always greener. If you do get married, at least having had a long stint of singleness, you won't have to wonder or have regrets about what kind of life you could have had if you'd been single for longer, like I do. My sister was an "old maid" but I think her "year of no return" in her mind was age 40, rather than yours of 35. And of course what happened? The second she turned forty she found someone and got married and had two kids. The relief you feel might be a removal of a psychological block that's going to bring your husband to you. And if it doesn't happen, you're happy anyway, so what could be better? I'm glad you are happy. You seem like you deserve it.
Thank you! I appreciate you.
Hey Colleen! I’ll be 40 later this year. I stopped dating once everything shut down for COVID four years ago. In a way I’m sort of grateful for that experience because it allowed me to take a step back and ask myself why I felt it was necessary to date. I came to realize that I actually prefer being single for all the reasons you laid out in the video. Almost everyone I work with is constantly bitching about their spouse and kids. Haha. I know now that that is a life I could never live. No thank you. But like you, I’m open to the idea of meeting someone someday should that person come along. I’m just not going to spend my time worrying about it. For now I’m so grateful that you posted this video. It’s certainly comforting knowing there are others out there who are completely satisfied with being single!
I'm glad! That's why I made this video!
I love sitting here eating the kind of icecream I like. At 1030 at night.
I love getting up at 730 am, putting my silk kimono on, and blasting a music documentary about hippies in the 1970s in California and dancing in the living room.
I love love love being child free.
I love honoring my true self, living my best life and being CHILD FREE!!
I love doing whatever the hell I want for work. Whenever the hell I want.
My extra rooms are all little hobby centers.
I don't have to go to baby showers or bridal showers or hang out with people I don't like.
I don't have to go to kids birthday parties.
I can go do whatever I want anytime I want. The only pressure I feel from anyone is when my two cats want some of my food, and so yeah, cats, you can have some ice cream too.
I never meet people I'm attracted to either.
I am totally dating myself and I love hanging out with me. I'm awesome and I love my sense of style and sense of humor.
Nobody's leaving my kitchen or bathroom gross. I'm not finding popcorn in the carpet next to the other side of my bed or random socks everywhere. But if I did, I'd just smile and think affectionately, "I live here."
Once during a dishagreement, I watched a dirty dish sit in the sink for a full 30 days until I placed a flag in it that said, "I'm one month old today!" This will never happen again.
Yay for nobody moving up in here. I can sleep at night diagonally in my bed and decorate my flat like The Gilded Age, move furniture around once a week and play Sonic Youth as much as I want.
Yes, Colleen! Yes to being single. I'm 45 and it JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!
I love this comment so much!!!!!
My aunty got married at 37
40 years ago.
And she is a grandma now.
🎉
I was married literally most of my adult life (from 18 to 45). I didn't expect a divorce and certainly didn't want one. After that first year of recovering financially though, I can say that even though I loved (or thought I loved) being married, being single is way better. Way, 100%-million times better and I haven't dated once, nor do I want to.
I'm so glad you've found happiness :)
Well, at least someone desired😢 you at some point in your life. As a 38 year-old woman who has NEVER been in ANY KIND of romantic relationship, I feel cheated out of life. At least YOU have a point of reference to choose from. I, on the other hand, have either been passed over or have only been seen as a side piece option to which I decline. In other words, always the bridesmaid but never the bride. Now do you get it?
I found your content looking for help with copywriting and freelance writing, and your videos have been a joy and a lot of help. I super appreciate you sharing your story. I also feel like I laid out too many "this is how my life is *supposed* to go" expectations, but I've realized I personally do better allowing myself the margin to let things come and go as they do and just enjoy the winding road. You're 10 years older than I am, but I have felt like I've failed at life the last few years and it's taken a lot to grow out of that mindset. And I feel a lot of relief knowing *you* feel relief.
At times, I've felt like I am a failure for not doing things I thought I should do, but I'm realizing life doesn't have to be a series of boxes to check off. Life isn't a to-do list. Life is an experience, and sometimes it's messy and uncertain. Allowing myself to not have it all figured it out has actually helped me feel more stable and certain in my own decision making. Giving myself the freedom to do things at my own pace without guilt tripping myself for not meeting the standards of my teen self gives me inner peace.
On paper, I think my sixteen-year-old self would be disappointed with where her life goes. But if we sat down and talked to each other, I feel like she'd be excited about her future. I think she'd also feel relief and maybe allow herself to do things differently and to feel less pressure about performing to wild "societal" expectations where the only person holding her to them is herself.
It's hard to be vulnerable like this, but your courage is inspiring, Thanks so much for being real with us and sharing your story
Thank you! I feel like so many of us feel like failures because we don't live up to the expectations that have been programmed into us by the culture that we live in. But if you really dig in, you may find that you don't actually WANT the life that society has laid out from you. Then the real work of finding out what you DO want begins.
@@colleenwelsch_ Agreed! I feel like mindsets like this make for healthier partnerships and the chances of a marriage lasting are higher when you allow a relationship to come naturally. I don't want to just "get married". I want to have a good marriage where I feel fulfilled and my partner and I are a great, healthy team. Until then, I dont want to put my life on hold. I'm going to thrive and if I meet someone then I'm excited for that new adventure. But for now, my single life is an epic adventure in itself that I'm enjoying :)
I love this! So relatable on the things that I love about being single. Can’t wait to watch more videos 🫶🏾
Yay! Thank you!
24, single, childfree, lovin’ it, and have no plans on changing it for the reasons you stated💖😀👍🏻
It's a beautiful life :)
Turning 35 this year...also childless and single. I hope to meet someone soon even though I dont really put myself at there...
It definitely helps if you put yourself out there. I haven't had any luck with apps, but I do go on dates with people I meet through doing improv.
I've always seen relationships as a growing experience. Growth requires struggle. It one of the reasons we have an amazing marriage of 11 years. We do all the things we love with someone we love and who wants to push us to be the best version of ourselves.
So happy you found that :)
Hey, I'm single at 43, FWIW!
Research has suggested some potential advantages to marriage, like:
1. Health Benefits: Studies have indicated that married individuals experience certain health benefits compared to single individuals. Married people may have lower rates of certain diseases, live longer on average, and show better mental health outcomes.
2. Emotional Support: Marriage can provide emotional support and companionship. A strong marital bond contribute to overall well-being and resilience in the face of life's challenges.
Married couples live longer for those reasons I believe.
I love this video!!! I'm just a little confused about the single for 10 years thing, didn't the one you posted 2 months ago say you just broke up with your bf from improv class?
Thank you! Yes, that was the brief relationship I mentioned :)
@@colleenwelsch_ Oh, okay i must have missed it;) I'm right there with you btw, solitude really IS the best no one tells you this😄
I'm that ex. I'm really glad we gave dating a try, it just took us a little while to realize we aren't a good match for each other, but hey, that's dating. I'm much happier living in a world where we gave a relationship a chance and it didn't work out, than living with the thought of what could have been. If dating me is what it took for you to realize you're happier being single, I'm glad I could be part of that journey for you. I'm proud to call you a friend Colleen, and I'm happy to see you embracing the chaos that is life. Don't let anyone tell you what you should do, or what you can't do.
@@tristanneumann5060 Thank you, Tristan! That means a lot. I'm also glad we dated and I'm glad we're still friends.
Ableton vids?
Your unmarried cause you want to be unmarried
I’ve played Old Maid boring game no offense I’m 46 years do you live in California babe I live in California my name is Nick David Hagen
I hope having a pink xmas tree is worth it. God bless you
You clearly don't love it
Congrats on being the first person to comment on this! I'm sure there will be many more :)
She said she was single for 10 years. .......that doesn't mean she wasn't getting smashed by dudes all those years.