Leave Church, Lose Freinds | ChurchDropout | EP.95
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
- In this episode, we have a raw conversation about what happens when you leave a "church". We're unpacking how these connections, often built around church activities, can become strained when the church isn't in the picture anymore.
I’ve worked in a church for 15 years and was so blessed by the friendships I made in the most unlikely places. Friendships across generations and cultures. As an introvert myself I was happy to be able to serve in the church and have my income there, because now that I work in a secular job, I haven’t got the mental energy to start in a new church. And I saw people leave the church over the years and I didn’t run after them to know why, because I wasn’t so close to them. And when it was my time to leave this church only 3-4 people kept the friendship and fellowship alive with me. All this just to say that we need to cover our disappointments with grace because I too need grace from the people I didn’t stay in contact with. And the Church is global, it goes across generations and cultures, and Jesus is the only friend and brother who will never let us down. And I walk with Him out into the world. So much more could be said about this. The podcast really touched my heart! Thank you ❤
Thank you for sharing this. Grace and mercy. Blessings!
On the lighter side: I have found that everyone who walks away is a ‘BELIEVING’ member. I have heard them declare this out of their mouth. As soon as they claim something offends them, they walk out saying, “We BE LEAVING now!”
😂 facts.
😂😂😂... exiting stage left!
Very insightful, fair and true observation of when we leave a church, My mother would always say, Keep your Eyes on Jesus...🙏🙏🙏🙏
Absolutely keep your eyes on Jesus! Good word! Blessings.
My wife and I just went through a similar situation a couple of yrs ago.. We're the Pastor is a good friend of mine, not to go into detail. But I think in the church it hurts more because we expect more out of one another rather than people outside of the church. You don't expect to be mistreated by the people in the fellowship. But I feel that we fail in fulfilling the law of Christ, in loving one another, the Lord said as I have Loved you. A lot of times we say we have been called to the ministry of Reconciliation and we are on a mission to Reconcile the world back to the Father but we have issues being Reconciled to one another in the church. I love my Bro! We are the church, a lot of things we go through is necessary so we will know what not to do and how to treat and intreat others.
You’re speaking truth. I feel you. It must begin in Gods house with Gods redeemed.
We left our last church for several reasons; moved across to nearby town, our children began attending public high school, we wanted the chance to get to know these school families in our new area who attended our new church we chose, and we were ready for a change. Great decision.
We felt it important to call the pastor out of respect and say goodbye, thank you, and where we were going. A group of the guys had started up a twice monthly cards night which continues to this day and some of the women started a Bible study, all friends from that church. We are at peace and felt we honored everyone without cutting them off. ☺️
Awesome! 👏
We used to go to a church here that they taught once someone leaves a church don’t fellowship with them anymore even to the point of you can’t even have play dates with their kids, shameful
That’s crazy. Thats cult like behavior.
@@churchdropout yep totally 💯
Your so right about “small groups” because it feels like “forced “ friendships to me, it never truly felt organic to me
Absolutely.💯
So good, again! You showed my experience from a perspective i hadn't considered. Thank you!
🙏
Thank you for the intro words. First words of comfort heard from someone with skin on in years 💔🤗
Thank you! 🙏
Here’s another thing- how does the church system affect even relationships within immediate family? That would be a great topic to cover because I have witnessed in my own family how church has affected how the husband and wife dynamic works. My ex use to say to me that the church is responsible for teaching our kids about God. I feel church systems completely take over the role in families to spiritually train their own families.
This 👏 right 👏 here 👏 🔥 Yes! Great topic. We will do an episode on this. This is very common belief. The church system takes the role of discipleship and unfortunately we’ve given it willingly.
@@churchdropout yes unfortunately I was left spiritually teaching my kids alone. I am perplexed about how so many will just pass their kids onto society (public school, etc.) or to church to raise their children. Even responsibility is passed onto society as a whole instead of the parents being accountable.
That is because Paul taught Christians to avoid people weaker in faith or those attached to the world But this relative information. Meaning that people stay away from churches based on personal perspective.
Help me understand . Which passage are you referring to here?
❤ I know It's so Sad. It could be thought that maybe they were fake and not truly sincere friendships to base It on membership; wether or not someone Is still a member of that particular "church". I believe It's because Only the "church" membership Is the only thing that's being thought of and not Truly the person/people/friendships. because why should It be that Just Because one Is no longer a member of that particular "church", should they not still fellowship If they were Genuinely concerned about the person/people/"friendship(s)" ❤
If you say why: it’s easy, doctrines separate. In other words, what we believe often separates people. I know this for a fact because it will even separate family. It’s ok sometimes though.
You said - what we believe that often separates people. That’s the tension for me. Are we quick to separate to avoids the complexity and difficulty of spiritual family relationships? are we unifying on dogma and not Jesus?
@@churchdropout first thing, I’m not someone that agrees with separation. The Bible says that the wheat and the tare grow together. I’m just speaking on what I’ve experienced.
For example: Some believe that Christ is just the son of God and they’re equal to the son if they believe and some believe that Christ is God Himself. I believe the Bible is clear on that topic and a different belief separates us regardless of what anyone thinks.
Water and oil doesn’t mix, correct? In some cases, trying to bring someone over to the truth, pushes them further away.
@@churchdropout how can one unify on Jesus if all that go to church don’t know Jesus?
IDK I’m the person that y’all might be talking about. I left the COGOP church 15 years ago because of hurt (most family are there. My grandfather was a bishop of one.) That’s all I want to disclose. I joined my uncle’s COGIC church and left after I started studying the scriptures. I couldn’t go along with their teachings. I went back to my old COGOP church to see how my old church bros and sisters are doing. I shared my beliefs with them and I was pretty insulted and accused of preaching a different Jesus. The worst part of it all is I only mentioned theological facts that most Christians believe and I learned from certain members of that church that they’re now teaching some of the things I’ve mentioned. I didn’t even get an apology or anything. 🤦🏾♂️
I love all my family and friends that go to these churches and don’t have a problem popping up at their events. I’m the one that is look at as an outsider.
I understand. I agree with much of what you said. My questions were more rhetorical. Thank you for sharing some of what you experienced. Sounds very difficult, painful and complicated. I’m sorry this has happened and that you are made to feel like an outsider. I’m thankful Jesus meets us where we are . Rest in him and his love.
Here’s two opposite examples from my life.
At church for 15yrs, ended up falling out of it, got a card from a leader with funny drawing inside saying church without me there was a limb missing. Never heard from them again, even though I worked 5-10mins where they lived.
My friend for 30 yrs, we lost touch for 10 yrs I tried so hard to get contact details for her- reconnecting meant so much. I haven’t seen her for 20 yrs, but I feel closer to her, genuinely loved than I ever did at church. Even though it’s only ph calls and social media.
I 💯 understand the first, am 💯guilty of doing the same, I did not have spare energy to maintain relationships after the connection of church was gone.
I have learnt so much from all this, and want something far different from what was, and I am not prepared to make do again.
It feels like a lie, I want the truth even though I’m not certain what that would look like.
I feel you. The statement you made of not being certain of what it looks like is a difficult space to be in. God will reveal is due time. Keep seeking Jesus!
We got to toughen up! ROTFL, just messing with you 😆
lol! 😂. I was like here we go! Good one!
Hey! I honestly love your content! I run a podcast called “the successful failures podcast” and it hits the same veins that you guys hit. I would love to interview you guys if possible! Let me know if you would be down for that!
Hello! Thank you! Send your contact info. We’d love to chat! Thechurchdropout@gmail.com
Hey can you guys provide scripture to support
Please don’t take this the wrong way but we are not into proof texting. That is finding a verse to support biblical wisdom. Plus this is not a Bible study. All we say is derived from wisdom we find in scripture and fellowship with Jesus. . I will offer this as far as Bible verses are concerned …. How about approximate 59 or so one another in the NT as a basis for fellowship and friendship?