Is there something I missed about ghosting in this video? Do you think ghosting is going to become more common? Have you been ghosted? So many questions!
Sounds like what you experienced was hurtful, and I'm sorry that happened to you. Please consider that ghosting isn't always a bad thing, and in many cases, it's necessary, such as when the person being ghosted is excessively toxic and/or violent. Whether ghosting is good, bad, or somewhere in between depends on the particular facts and circumstances. Additionally, ostracism is significantly different than ghosting. For example, in the ball tossing clip, 2 individuals continued tossing the ball in front of the third person, who was originally a participant but was later excluded, and this seems intentionally cruel. On the other hand, ghosting typically involves only 2 individuals, and the one who pulls the plug on the relationship often doesn't knowingly do anything in view of the person who was ghosted.
@@gellopudding You make some great points here! Maybe I'll do a follow-up video about when ghosting is a good idea. :) Thanks for writing and watching my video!!
I most definitely think ghosting is going to become more common. On the surface, at least, technology, especially if it’s the primary source of communication in a relationship, makes it all too easy to click and *poof* disappear. 👻 Having been ghosted, I have been reading around this whole concept. I think what could be an interesting video would be more of the impact ghosting has upon the ghosted, and also what research says about the impact on the ghoster… I have found a few pieces on both but much I can’t gain access because it’s not available here, in the UK.
Several years ago a very close friend ghosted me. I tried to reconnect with no result. One day I saw her walking down the street and I ran after her. I confronted her. She couldn't get away from me. She made excuses but nothing that was a clear explanation. Months later I ran into her husband. I asked him about it. He stated that one night the two of them were sharing a little pillow talk and the subject came up about who they would cheat with if they were going to cheat. Her husband named me. I was shocked. In the same breath he propositioned me. I walked away. Haven't seen either one of them since. As sad as the situation was, learning the truth gave me great piece of mind.
Wow! It sounds like those two had a lot of issues going on that you weren't aware of. I'm sorry you had to go through this. You must feel like you dodged a bullet in the end.
@@socialneuro Yes I dodged a bullet. I feel its more important to understand the reason for being ghosted. Just like real ghosts, being ghosted haunts you.
Her loss, a trait of ghosters is low self worth and poor communication aptitude. You can now get on with life and make friends with emotionally stable people. My best friend did the same thing to me after she told me she had been ghosted her whole life that she would never do that to anyone. She ghosted me on Christmas eve. It took me a long time ,lots of tears and suffering, but I now know our relationship had no value. My advice is to never make friends with people who say they won't ghost. They will
Ghosting can also be a way of controlling another person. No matter the purpose, it is very childish. There is a lack of accountability. Thanks for your great video and good luck finding a new best friend
I’ve been ghosted by a close friend & it recked me. I had many losses in my life & this was that one friend who was there for me since childhood. I just wanted closure. I knew she was going through her own hurts & issues but ending the friendship so insensitively broke my heart. It’s better to let the other know by email, letter, text a call or in person conversation.
Having been abandoned by the ghost er, he denied me to meet others,continued to ghost me, why? No one believed me the horrible residue of such ongoing Ghosting. Consequences. I have no support, lonely, OLD, woman.
I actually got ghosted recently!. I had a friend for three years. We will talk on an off . Here an their throughout the years . This January we hit it off and she disappeared!. She told me she had an emergency and had to leave!. She never came back!. The Interesting part! The day before i got ghosted!. We had a wonderful date in super romantic!. What us amazing to me!. Is that i didn't want a relationship at first! She would say we make a perfect couple! She would say " i dont make it clear im really happy". Its reall hard at the moment!. Im hoping that shes is going to text or call ,but i know she is not!. Its so messed up ,because i would have been fine. I been wondering for close to a month. The very few last text message were a lie. She said im glad i make you happy because you deserve to be happy!. .She also texted me 10 days after she left saying that her phone broke and she doesn't know when shell be back ,but she is glad im doing well!. I last saw her 1/24/24. Dam i miss her . Im more stress because i would love talking to her as a friend. Im fucking sad.
It hurts so bad!! He ghosted me three weeks ago. We just got back together and had a great weekend. That makes it so fast harder. I don't think I will ever know why.
Happend to me in 2023, reached out to person, and now its happening again being ghosted again, tired of it by now. Sorry friend we are done I guess. If they cant control me they ghosting me, really. ... how rude.
I ghosted someone because she was difficult to speak to.. i was constantly gaslighted.. and the constant mind f.. forced me to just walk away quietly...
Noone deserves to be ghosted... (unless its about real harm) to disappear without explanations. And being hurt by this way more than whatever uncomfortable things she did with the other person..
@@anthonyr7208 still you can say at least one sentence before you click on blocking... I was connected with toxic people many times. There was one whom I really trusted and she totally backstabbed me. Still I gave the chance to her to explain.. and as she just made it worse I said goodbye and disconnected - bot not blocked! Blocking like making someone like not exist.. its so much cruel.. and what is the sense? As you can make disconnection and saying goodbye. Why you still have to click on that blocking button with which you desrespect and humiliate them..
I was ghosted by my wife of 20+ years. She flew back to Australia while I was at work. With only a text that she said she was unhappy with her life. No discussion or a chance to work on the marriage. Just disappeared. We have 2 grown sons together that are currently in college. One in L.A. the other in Sydney, Australia.
Wow...That's so shocking 😢 I'm already devastated from being ignored after talking 4 months to someone. He often goes quiet 3 days but this time it feels different. I think he's gone and it hurts physically in my heart. His last text was that he missed affection too and missed having me near My energy is gone. I feel drained from wondering thinkng. I tested him yesterday no reply. He is starting a business abroad and is very busy. I understood but this is just cruel..he knows it hurts but still ignores my text. Idk if he is gone or not. It happened before and i texted him about my confusion. He replied 3 days later: I understand your doubts but im still confident we will meet soon, i didn't read your message om purpose bc I wahted to keep my positive feekihg about you". That last part made me wonder bc it felt manipulative but ai cared about him. Benefit of doubt. I can only imagine the hurt of betrayal after years of marriage. Traumatic. Best wishes
I’d just make sure that she’s ok. Sometimes people are kidnapped or murdered and the killer sends texts like that to make sure people don’t go out looking for the victim
I’m so sorry!! Some people just don’t have the guts to be honest. Some actually feel so bad about it, they avoid being honest. So are plain selfish and don’t care. Some go through personal crises and are so overwhelmed by that they can’t communicate. Some meet someone and they never expected that to happen and they grab the opportunity with both hands. Unless there’s an obvious answer a good question to ask can be “what else could this mean” not to give false hope, but to expand the view point.
Ghosted by people who I thought were friends. Im very direct with people if I feel that someone is being disrespectful of me. Then boom!!! ghosted!!!! Blocked etc.... I just think people are fickle. They move on to ' the next best thing' and can't be accountable. Easier
I was ghosted after a 5 year relationship with no warning , just up and completely ghosted me. Did not even love me enough to communicate with me. but instead left me with heartbreak, despair, depression and pain. Blocked me on everything , but still watched my social media.
I've been ghosted numerous times. Family, jobs, relationships. It does seem like it's a normal thing to do. The last couple years I've learned that it's not ok. But the real issue is. Can other people learn the same? In my experience that answer is no. Or it's very rare.
I’ve been ghosted twice, pre-social media. One was a male friend and one was a female. In both cases I had a pretty intense friendship relationship for several months followed by no contact. It came out of the blue and to this day I have no idea why contact ceased suddenly.
Many times it’s because someone values your relationship as a matter of their own convenience. Meaning they only respond to text or phone calls when they either need something from you or it’s convenient for them. Those people deserve to be ghosted. They are not your friend. Even if they are, they are not the type of friend that you would ever want in your life. Bottom line is if someone doesn’t value your time, then they aren’t worth yours. I have ghosted/blocked several people in my life over this type of behavior and I’m better off for it.
I am not sure whether I was gosthed or not as he provide me with some explanation when he broke up with me. We agreed upon 2 months no contact at that time, after that time, I have reached out 3 times in total but he never responded. Each message was very respectful, in last I asked whether he would be able to consider to allow me to say goodbye as I did not realised that over break up conversation was the last one. I considered him the closest friend. Regardless what people might think about the situation, I felt like a was ghosted. It is still so painful, especially that for whole of my childhood I suffeed social group exclusion and he knew about this aspect of my past. I am in therapy since break up but no once heart that regardless what and how strong his reasons were, that was very cruel act. It is so hard to put myself together.
Not sure why my comment got removed. Too much identifiable information in it? I'll try again with (much) less. I got ghosted by a close (female) friend after I "came out" as homosexual. She accompanied me through my entire coming-out. After I was certain about my sexual orientation, she was gone. My assumption is that she had feelings for me and when I was certain, all her hopes were lost so she probably felt rejected. Had I known about her feelings, I would have tried to "let her down gently", but she never told me. It's just that after I was certain, she was gone without any explanation. It hurts, especially when it happens to you while you're already in such a vulnerable phase.
Very insightful video, you have provided a very well-structured overview on Ghosting. It certainly made a lot of sense to me since I was ghosted few years ago. I was so confused because it happen out of the blue...I wanted to have a closure so bad but I was never given a chance. I still think about it sometimes but have moved on. I think ghosting leaves a long-term effect on the person experiencing it since your mind will keep trying to find a reason for it. I am sorry you got ghosted too, I think social media makes it too easy, that's why people do it out of convenience. If you know the person in real life and there's a chance you would run into them or have mutual friends that would find out, they wouldn't do it. But when you know the person only on social media, it is too easy for them to do it to avoid having the conversation.
Unfortunately that's not true. I got ghosted last year by someone I know in real life who there's a chance I could run into and we have friends in common. It's mind boggling but it happens 🤯 It's so hurtful and demeaning, it changed my life. A year later I still obsess over it and cry sometimes and I now avoid going places where I might see him. I get uncomfortable anytime I have to go to his area of town
This is such a good explanation connecting ostracization research with the experience of being ghosted. But, how can our understanding of these mechanisms help us develop better interventions for the grieving processes? As you said, there's a grieving process similar to losing a friend to death without having been able to say goodbye, but it's not the same. Have their been studies comparing the effectiveness of typical grief counseling techniques on ghost -grief? Or, more specifically: why does the thought "but that person chose this!" make emotional recovery and reframing so much more difficult? In any case, thank you so much for sharing this. It's a valuable connection between life and theory.
Thanks for your comments and very interesting questions! I don't think anyone has really looked at counseling techniques for ghost-grief yet, as we hardly found anyone even really looking at the phenomenon itself. If I do come across it, I will definitely bring it up on my channel!
I was ghosted by an ex boyfriend that had become a friend after we broke up. We were together for over 3 years.He communicated daily via text and we would meet about once a week for coffee or lunch. I really enjoyed that we were still available to each other at least at some level and this continued for about a year and a half. One day out of no where- cut off all communication with me and even my family(whom it communicated with somewhat). I cant tell you the pain i experienced. Physical, emotional, and mental pain. I wish he would have said goodbye, thats all. I never thought he would do this to me. Thank you for the video.Ghosting is awful.
I started texting a girl, we went out 4 times, everything was going good, but them she ghosted me, I gave her some space, and occasionally text her about things I knew she like to see if we could restart a conversation, but it didn't went further them a few replies, so I didn't try anything anymore. At the beginning she still liked my instagram stories, making me think she still might be interested in me, but now she just watches. I really don't know if I should ask her about why she stopped texting me, or I should just move on and forget her. This is really painful, cuz I really like her and I thought things were going well between us.....
@AmericanRX I'm so sorry 😞. It's a ghosting epidemic out here. A few friends told me they were ghosted and then I got ghosted unexpectedly with no explanation and I didn't see it coming. This one really got to me. Still healing. Hope you heal. It hurts 😥.
I was ghosted in 2023 still haven't healed from it and now it's affecting my health I see my therapist tomorrow she was my close friend for 5 year's. It really hurts. Don't know why I can't move on its been a year
Yes it is v v hurting experience ,I am now understanding about it luckily survived encountered some compassionate caring souls who stood by me n blessing of Devine n Jesus.I have moved on in life constantly clearing my system of negativity n looking forward in faith God is good I know.
I recently ghosted four people in my life. It was scary to do because i don't have a lot of friends. I just got tired of people dumping their drama on me and saying hurtful things when i didn't respond the way they wanted me to. I'm too sensitive, too much anxiety, tired of having my day destroyed over THEIR drama. So why didn't i explain this to them? Why ghost? I tried. I really did. They'd behave for a while and then go right back. I am so much happier without them. I guess i should mention that these were real life friends, not online. So ghosting has involved more than not answering messages. More like not answering the door.
and I don't , especially when someone start explanation with I am to sensitive. You might have your reasons to end relationship but there is always choice to communicate someone your decision. I heart today a great analogy : you might have a reasons to want to ghost someone, but so do people who want kill someone yet many just not act on what they want.
@@antygona-iq8ew I agreem i will only ghost when I feel really unsafe. I once talked to a guy who said he will cut ppl who cut him. That freaked me out and I blocked him on WhatsApp. I still felt guilty but I knew he would discuss and he waa intimidatung in the earlier conversation so that was an exception to block.
I was ghosted by my sons girlfriend. Because of this I havent seen my grand daughter. I miss her so much! I am very sad since I offered my sorry if there was any misgivings but no feedback was given to me. Very sad that the other party
My boyfriend said I don't communicate properly or listen after a conflict rather than working with me to find a resolution. Then he ghosted me and cut all communication, blocking me on all social media without explanation... Crazy making. First time I've been fully ghosted. Would like to know more about how likely it is that someone who has been ghosted will be ghosted again. I'm never online dating again.
I didn’t even know this was a thing .. we were dating for two months and then I told home I was going out of and and he responded with enjoy your travel and that was it.. poof gone..sad
Thank you for your insight 🙏 I have recently been ghosted and it has left me both confused and sad. Ghosted by someone I have known in real life for around 30 years! I haven’t seen this friend for a good 15 years however, because I moved away but we have always stayed in touch. We weren’t communicating every day but fairly regularly. Our last conversation was brief and a little strange. I complimented his new profile picture, he said thank you and then said he had not seen a picture of me in a long time (which was the strange part). I responded saying I have shared the most recent ones I have some months ago but when I have a photo taken next I be sure to share it. Great, he said. In a previous conversation he said he would call at the weekend. He never did. I didn’t think much of it because life gets busy. A couple of weeks past and in that time I noticed that his profile picture had gone from our messages which was strange (only because he would typically have ‘a’ picture there) and so I thought I would message and see how he is … I was blocked. No reason, no rhyme… that I am aware of. I’m not sure how I am supposed to feel. But I do know I feel confused because I can’t figure out the why, and sad because I have seemingly lost a life friend.
Such a sad story! I am so sorry this person ghosted you. It’s so hard when someone doesn’t let you have some sort of closure when the relationship you had was once special. I hope the hurt eventually wears off, like it has for me in my own ghosting experience. Thank you for sharing!
@@socialneuro Thank you, and likewise. Thank you for sharing your experience and insight. I guess it is going to be ‘time’ as the healer, because in these circumstances, what else is there 🤷🏼♀️ I am glad the pain has eased for you. Take care.
@@socialneuro Thank you ☺️ I really hope that you do too… there is no thought for the impact on those being ghosted… if only there were more awareness of that. Thanks again, and all the best!
I’ve been ghosted and I have ghosted. When I was younger, since I had been ghosted, I didn’t think it was necessary to tell someone you weren’t feeling them if it wasn’t longer than 3M. Most of the time I ghosted it was due to lack of maturity and a fear of confrontation. The past two years I’ve been ghosted twice and the pain really made me regroup ghosting. I’D rather just tell them what’s up. I actually recently was upfront about no longer being interested and no blood was shed the door closed with no issues. However, I did have an incident with a guy who I ghosted bc he gave me a really unnerving feeling. Like if Ted Bundy had stared into the pit of my soul. He got ghosted bc there was a previous incident where he made me uncomfortable and after I told him he did he didn’t regard it all. So this go round I felt no need to be communicative. Overall, ghosting is hurtful, but if the person has made it clear they won’t acknowledge how you feel anyway or there is an issue of safety, I think it is fair.
What if a guy ghosted you more than one. And manipulated you and left for 7 months. Then decides to come back into your life. Then you ghosts them to protect your sel emotionally.
My ex ghosted me twice. I will not give him the chance to do it again no matter what his excuse is. That's if he even comes back. It's been three weeks!!
My father has done this because I question his double standards and gaslighting he doesn't like that it hurts when someone you thought loved and cared about you does not really love or care about you it's just all about them . Like a cut that just doesn't heal it's really harnful to your well being 😢.
It’s sad that ghosting exist I didn’t know all this until a couple of days that my ex boyfriend wanted to get back with me and he started doing all those crazy behavior but ghosting really hurted me so much because it has never happened to me before so to me is like something new in 2024😢 sad but yes that’s how I feel torn apart
I was ghosted no explanation at all but a messagw came in my consciousness that itvwas a good thing and something better was on its way and i didnt need that type of person for a future mate .god had other plans for my life for the better 😊
This is increasingly happening to parents with adult children. Totally cutting off all communication without any explanation. And will do so to other parents or siblings if those people question the behavior
If you’re “ghosted”, relax. You can send a birthday card but not ask for any reply; just write “Happy Birthday!”. Leave them to decide when they want to reach out to you.
Excellent video again. everything your share is just amazing. just enjoyed the whole video. thanks to CZcams's lazy algorithm to introduce this channel to me. this should have discovered way before covid times but youtube's profit system wanted something else.
I think we just lose interest with each other. I know I have done so many times in my life. If we can lose interest with hobbies and interests, then why not people too.
I’ve never been in a relationship but I ghost friends since Middle school & im 2 yrs out of college. The recent ghosting friend was from nursing school. We just graduated & she’d call me weekly. One day I randomly stopped answering. She went as far as tracking my mom to say she was worried I disappeared as I don’t have social media. Once I ghost someone it’s permanent. As a result I have literally ZERO friends. It’s weird bc I’m very kind, make friends easily, can fit in with all types of friend groups. & when I have friends they always compliment how sweet,uplifting, non judgmental I am. The problem is i have a low self worth. I really do not like myself inside & when ppl get close I have to leave before they don’t like me either.
That's no excuse for ghosting.How can you go on with your life, finding it o.k. to hurt people?If you can't continue the relationships for any reason, tell them what's going on.That's at least fair.
Don’t listen to these people. I ghost people ALL THE TIME. Nobody owes anyone anything. You don’t owe anyone any explanation. You don’t owe anybody friendship. You don’t owe them excuses. You don’t owe them lies. You’re free on this planet. You can do whatever you want as long as you recognize the consequences. That’s life. They will recover. I think your reason is perfectly understandable- I ghost people because I don’t lie. If I tell them the truth, it will hurt them more than being ghosted. Let them find a ghosting support group 😒 they will be fine. Signed, A marriage and family THERAPIST. PS Please go to therapy to work all this out for YOURSELF.
@@christinacreates2393 Ghosting is disrespectful.Nobody should do it. Freedom is non- existent without moral obligations. Without it,it's anarchy. You owe the world a lot. Without it, you wouldn't exist. Without healthy relationships, you're becoming a narcissistic monster. You can't violate the laws of existance.If you do, Karma will catch up with you.
I ghost relatives all the time. It goes both ways. I ghost people when I don't see interest in them in having a healthy friendship and have excuses for everything.
face it. You're no longer interesting or useful to the other person. Alternatively the "other person" may be feeling withdrawn (at best), its not all about you.
First, my dad left us when I was 10, so ghosting has always been around in some form. Second, sense this current generation wants IMMEIDATE response from a text, it is leading to an all or nothing communication syndrome.
Sometimes, it's to spare someone from degrading conversations. The last guy I dated earned 1/3 of what I make, I live in a better neighborhood, better automobile etc.To make matters worse. He was older, physically less attractive(other men always hit on me while I was him, which never happens when I'm with a good-looking guy) He asked me to move in with him, which I somewhat considered. But on a surprise last-minute visit to his house, the toilet in master bathroom was a SHIT storm. I was so disgusted, couldn't imagine living under such dissmal conditions. I'd reached my concessions limit, so I ghosted him.
I have been a ghostee and a ghoster. Before being a ghostee I always tried understanding people and gave them a chance. I saw the good in them. I really was close to the person who ghosted me. After being ghosted I stopped giving others chance, I ghosted anyone who annoyed me the slightest.
I've ghosted a few,because they were posers,scammers,cyber stalkers or keyboard hoes,so tell me again aboit hurt feelings,granted there are times when it's not proper but a 2 edge sword for sure
Are you receptive to hearing personal stories to serve as potential subject matter for future videos? If so, what is the best method of getting in touch with you?
Is there something I missed about ghosting in this video? Do you think ghosting is going to become more common? Have you been ghosted? So many questions!
Sounds like what you experienced was hurtful, and I'm sorry that happened to you.
Please consider that ghosting isn't always a bad thing, and in many cases, it's necessary, such as when the person being ghosted is excessively toxic and/or violent. Whether ghosting is good, bad, or somewhere in between depends on the particular facts and circumstances.
Additionally, ostracism is significantly different than ghosting. For example, in the ball tossing clip, 2 individuals continued tossing the ball in front of the third person, who was originally a participant but was later excluded, and this seems intentionally cruel. On the other hand, ghosting typically involves only 2 individuals, and the one who pulls the plug on the relationship often doesn't knowingly do anything in view of the person who was ghosted.
@@gellopudding You make some great points here! Maybe I'll do a follow-up video about when ghosting is a good idea. :) Thanks for writing and watching my video!!
@@socialneuro Thanks for your reply!
@@socialneuro Yes Please, part 2 or maybe 3
I most definitely think ghosting is going to become more common. On the surface, at least, technology, especially if it’s the primary source of communication in a relationship, makes it all too easy to click and *poof* disappear. 👻 Having been ghosted, I have been reading around this whole concept. I think what could be an interesting video would be more of the impact ghosting has upon the ghosted, and also what research says about the impact on the ghoster… I have found a few pieces on both but much I can’t gain access because it’s not available here, in the UK.
One of my Great Rules of Life is that if someoone doesn't value my friendship theirs is worth even less to me.
Several years ago a very close friend ghosted me. I tried to reconnect with no result. One day I saw her walking down the street and I ran after her. I confronted her. She couldn't get away from me. She made excuses but nothing that was a clear explanation. Months later I ran into her husband. I asked him about it. He stated that one night the two of them were sharing a little pillow talk and the subject came up about who they would cheat with if they were going to cheat. Her husband named me. I was shocked. In the same breath he propositioned me. I walked away. Haven't seen either one of them since. As sad as the situation was, learning the truth gave me great piece of mind.
Wow! It sounds like those two had a lot of issues going on that you weren't aware of. I'm sorry you had to go through this. You must feel like you dodged a bullet in the end.
@@socialneuro Yes I dodged a bullet. I feel its more important to understand the reason for being ghosted. Just like real ghosts, being ghosted haunts you.
I am sorry you went through that but your friend did you a favor. Be glad you got away from them. Great on getting closure.
@@joannelauderYes, because they actually did you a favor and that's the way to look at it. You don't need that s***
Her loss, a trait of ghosters is low self worth and poor communication aptitude. You can now get on with life and make friends with emotionally stable people. My best friend did the same thing to me after she told me she had been ghosted her whole life that she would never do that to anyone. She ghosted me on Christmas eve. It took me a long time ,lots of tears and suffering, but I now know our relationship had no value. My advice is to never make friends with people who say they won't ghost. They will
Anyone who ghosts you doesn’t belong in your life.
Ghosting can also be a way of controlling another person. No matter the purpose, it is very childish. There is a lack of accountability. Thanks for your great video and good luck finding a new best friend
Sorry to hear that happened to you- it’s a very painful experience for empathic people.
I’ve been ghosted by a close friend & it recked me. I had many losses in my life & this was that one friend who was there for me since childhood. I just wanted closure. I knew she was going through her own hurts & issues but ending the friendship so insensitively broke my heart.
It’s better to let the other know by email, letter, text a call or in person conversation.
Ghosting must be a paragraph in the criminal law.
Ghosting and Caspering after having a face to face relationship is performed by the gutless. I agree that being ghosted is awful.
I had a friend who would never plan any meetups. I decided to see what would happen if I stopped reaching out to her. I never heard from her again.
You read that right, then. She just didn’t need the relationship. 🤷♀️
Having been abandoned by the ghost er, he denied me to meet others,continued to ghost me, why? No one believed me the horrible residue of such ongoing Ghosting. Consequences. I have no support, lonely, OLD, woman.
I actually got ghosted recently!. I had a friend for three years. We will talk on an off . Here an their throughout the years . This January we hit it off and she disappeared!. She told me she had an emergency and had to leave!. She never came back!. The Interesting part! The day before i got ghosted!. We had a wonderful date in super romantic!. What us amazing to me!. Is that i didn't want a relationship at first! She would say we make a perfect couple! She would say " i dont make it clear im really happy". Its reall hard at the moment!. Im hoping that shes is going to text or call ,but i know she is not!. Its so messed up ,because i would have been fine. I been wondering for close to a month. The very few last text message were a lie. She said im glad i make you happy because you deserve to be happy!. .She also texted me 10 days after she left saying that her phone broke and she doesn't know when shell be back ,but she is glad im doing well!. I last saw her 1/24/24. Dam i miss her . Im more stress because i would love talking to her as a friend. Im fucking sad.
I’m so sorry.. I feel your pain it happened to me😢
It hurts so bad!! He ghosted me three weeks ago. We just got back together and had a great weekend. That makes it so fast harder. I don't think I will ever know why.
Happend to me in 2023, reached out to person, and now its happening again being ghosted again, tired of it by now. Sorry friend we are done I guess. If they cant control me they ghosting me, really. ... how rude.
I ghosted someone because she was difficult to speak to.. i was constantly gaslighted.. and the constant mind f.. forced me to just walk away quietly...
Unfortunately, some people deserve to be ghosted
Noone deserves to be ghosted... (unless its about real harm) to disappear without explanations. And being hurt by this way more than whatever uncomfortable things she did with the other person..
@@eszterzsolnai9209 I disagree….
Some people or situations are toxic and
for your own sake and mental health you have to disappear…
@@anthonyr7208 still you can say at least one sentence before you click on blocking... I was connected with toxic people many times. There was one whom I really trusted and she totally backstabbed me. Still I gave the chance to her to explain.. and as she just made it worse I said goodbye and disconnected - bot not blocked! Blocking like making someone like not exist.. its so much cruel.. and what is the sense? As you can make disconnection and saying goodbye. Why you still have to click on that blocking button with which you desrespect and humiliate them..
Did you express how you felt to her ? Did you raise the concern ?
I was ghosted by my wife of 20+ years. She flew back to Australia while I was at work. With only a text that she said she was unhappy with her life. No discussion or a chance to work on the marriage. Just disappeared. We have 2 grown sons together that are currently in college. One in L.A. the other in Sydney, Australia.
Wow...That's so shocking 😢
I'm already devastated from being ignored after talking 4 months to someone.
He often goes quiet 3 days but this time it feels different. I think he's gone and it hurts physically in my heart.
His last text was that he missed affection too and missed having me near
My energy is gone. I feel drained from wondering thinkng.
I tested him yesterday no reply. He is starting a business abroad and is very busy.
I understood but this is just cruel..he knows it hurts but still ignores my text.
Idk if he is gone or not.
It happened before and i texted him about my confusion. He replied 3 days later: I understand your doubts but im still confident we will meet soon, i didn't read your message om purpose bc I wahted to keep my positive feekihg about you".
That last part made me wonder bc it felt manipulative but ai cared about him. Benefit of doubt.
I can only imagine the hurt of betrayal after years of marriage. Traumatic.
Best wishes
Omgod so sorry
I’d just make sure that she’s ok. Sometimes people are kidnapped or murdered and the killer sends texts like that to make sure people don’t go out looking for the victim
I’m so sorry!!
Some people just don’t have the guts to be honest. Some actually feel so bad about it, they avoid being honest. So are plain selfish and don’t care. Some go through personal crises and are so overwhelmed by that they can’t communicate. Some meet someone and they never expected that to happen and they grab the opportunity with both hands.
Unless there’s an obvious answer
a good question to ask can be “what else could this mean” not to give false hope, but to expand the view point.
How to deal with people who are breacrumbling me??
Ghosted by people who I thought were friends. Im very direct with people if I feel that someone is being disrespectful of me. Then boom!!! ghosted!!!! Blocked etc.... I just think people are fickle. They move on to ' the next best thing' and can't be accountable. Easier
Because they are cowards
I was ghosted after a 5 year relationship with no warning , just up and completely ghosted me. Did not even love me enough to communicate with me. but instead left me with heartbreak, despair, depression and pain. Blocked me on everything , but still watched my social media.
Same, but 9 years together & 17 months later still a mess. Good luck on your healing journey ❤
Terrible!!! Maybe they were a bad person to be on relationship with? Maybe despite the pain you have been saved?
I've been ghosted numerous times. Family, jobs, relationships. It does seem like it's a normal thing to do. The last couple years I've learned that it's not ok. But the real issue is. Can other people learn the same? In my experience that answer is no. Or it's very rare.
I’ve been ghosted twice, pre-social media. One was a male friend and one was a female. In both cases I had a pretty intense friendship relationship for several months followed by no contact. It came out of the blue and to this day I have no idea why contact ceased suddenly.
It can be such a mystery!! I hope you have no more ghosting in your future!
Many times it’s because someone values your relationship as a matter of their own convenience. Meaning they only respond to text or phone calls when they either need something from you or it’s convenient for them. Those people deserve to be ghosted. They are not your friend. Even if they are, they are not the type of friend that you would ever want in your life. Bottom line is if someone doesn’t value your time, then they aren’t worth yours. I have ghosted/blocked several people in my life over this type of behavior and I’m better off for it.
I am not sure whether I was gosthed or not as he provide me with some explanation when he broke up with me. We agreed upon 2 months no contact at that time, after that time, I have reached out 3 times in total but he never responded. Each message was very respectful, in last I asked whether he would be able to consider to allow me to say goodbye as I did not realised that over break up conversation was the last one. I considered him the closest friend. Regardless what people might think about the situation, I felt like a was ghosted. It is still so painful, especially that for whole of my childhood I suffeed social group exclusion and he knew about this aspect of my past.
I am in therapy since break up but no once heart that regardless what and how strong his reasons were, that was very cruel act. It is so hard to put myself together.
Not sure why my comment got removed. Too much identifiable information in it? I'll try again with (much) less. I got ghosted by a close (female) friend after I "came out" as homosexual. She accompanied me through my entire coming-out. After I was certain about my sexual orientation, she was gone. My assumption is that she had feelings for me and when I was certain, all her hopes were lost so she probably felt rejected. Had I known about her feelings, I would have tried to "let her down gently", but she never told me. It's just that after I was certain, she was gone without any explanation. It hurts, especially when it happens to you while you're already in such a vulnerable phase.
Just happened to me after 9 years of friendship over a simple argument.
If that happens I delete them from my contacts. They can call me, but I won’t call them anymore.
Very insightful video, you have provided a very well-structured overview on Ghosting. It certainly made a lot of sense to me since I was ghosted few years ago. I was so confused because it happen out of the blue...I wanted to have a closure so bad but I was never given a chance. I still think about it sometimes but have moved on. I think ghosting leaves a long-term effect on the person experiencing it since your mind will keep trying to find a reason for it. I am sorry you got ghosted too, I think social media makes it too easy, that's why people do it out of convenience. If you know the person in real life and there's a chance you would run into them or have mutual friends that would find out, they wouldn't do it. But when you know the person only on social media, it is too easy for them to do it to avoid having the conversation.
Thank you very much for your comments and for sharing your own experience. Social media has its ups and downs, that’s for sure!
Unfortunately that's not true. I got ghosted last year by someone I know in real life who there's a chance I could run into and we have friends in common. It's mind boggling but it happens 🤯
It's so hurtful and demeaning, it changed my life. A year later I still obsess over it and cry sometimes and I now avoid going places where I might see him. I get uncomfortable anytime I have to go to his area of town
This is such a good explanation connecting ostracization research with the experience of being ghosted. But, how can our understanding of these mechanisms help us develop better interventions for the grieving processes? As you said, there's a grieving process similar to losing a friend to death without having been able to say goodbye, but it's not the same. Have their been studies comparing the effectiveness of typical grief counseling techniques on ghost -grief? Or, more specifically: why does the thought "but that person chose this!" make emotional recovery and reframing so much more difficult? In any case, thank you so much for sharing this. It's a valuable connection between life and theory.
Thanks for your comments and very interesting questions! I don't think anyone has really looked at counseling techniques for ghost-grief yet, as we hardly found anyone even really looking at the phenomenon itself. If I do come across it, I will definitely bring it up on my channel!
I was ghosted by an ex boyfriend that had become a friend after we broke up. We were together for over 3 years.He communicated daily via text and we would meet about once a week for coffee or lunch. I really enjoyed that we were still available to each other at least at some level and this continued for about a year and a half. One day out of no where- cut off all communication with me and even my family(whom it communicated with somewhat). I cant tell you the pain i experienced. Physical, emotional, and mental pain. I wish he would have said goodbye, thats all. I never thought he would do this to me. Thank you for the video.Ghosting is awful.
So sorry you went through this. It is horrible.
I started texting a girl, we went out 4 times, everything was going good, but them she ghosted me, I gave her some space, and occasionally text her about things I knew she like to see if we could restart a conversation, but it didn't went further them a few replies, so I didn't try anything anymore.
At the beginning she still liked my instagram stories, making me think she still might be interested in me, but now she just watches.
I really don't know if I should ask her about why she stopped texting me, or I should just move on and forget her.
This is really painful, cuz I really like her and I thought things were going well between us.....
Well, if you need a volunteer for your new research, I've just been ghosted 🤷🏾♀️
So sorry to hear this! :(
Same, 2 weeks ago.
@AmericanRX I'm so sorry 😞. It's a ghosting epidemic out here. A few friends told me they were ghosted and then I got ghosted unexpectedly with no explanation and I didn't see it coming. This one really got to me. Still healing. Hope you heal. It hurts 😥.
I was ghosted in 2023 still haven't healed from it and now it's affecting my health I see my therapist tomorrow she was my close friend for 5 year's. It really hurts. Don't know why I can't move on its been a year
@hasinapatel1233 I totally understand. I wish you the best on your healing journey and hope you feel better soon 🙏🏾
Great content!! Very insightful
Yes it is v v hurting experience ,I am now understanding about it luckily survived encountered some compassionate caring souls who stood by me n blessing of Devine n Jesus.I have moved on in life constantly clearing my system of negativity n looking forward in faith God is good I know.
This video speaks absolute facts
Omg. It’s been over a month since I’ve been ghosted. It’s the worst feeling. Traumatic. I wish him well tho. 😢
Mine has been three weeks. Not sure if I will ever know why he ghosted me. I'm not giving him another chance!!
I recently ghosted four people in my life. It was scary to do because i don't have a lot of friends. I just got tired of people dumping their drama on me and saying hurtful things when i didn't respond the way they wanted me to. I'm too sensitive, too much anxiety, tired of having my day destroyed over THEIR drama. So why didn't i explain this to them? Why ghost? I tried. I really did. They'd behave for a while and then go right back. I am so much happier without them. I guess i should mention that these were real life friends, not online. So ghosting has involved more than not answering messages. More like not answering the door.
I can certainly understand this! When I make another ghosting video I plan to take the POV of the person doing the ghosting.
and I don't , especially when someone start explanation with I am to sensitive. You might have your reasons to end relationship but there is always choice to communicate someone your decision.
I heart today a great analogy : you might have a reasons to want to ghost someone, but so do people who want kill someone yet many just not act on what they want.
@@antygona-iq8ew I agreem i will only ghost when I feel really unsafe. I once talked to a guy who said he will cut ppl who cut him.
That freaked me out and I blocked him on WhatsApp.
I still felt guilty but I knew he would discuss and he waa intimidatung in the earlier conversation so that was an exception to block.
I was ghosted by my sons girlfriend. Because of this I havent seen my grand daughter. I miss her so much! I am very sad since I offered my sorry if there was any misgivings but no feedback was given to me. Very sad that the other party
Wow very current content. Nice perspective!
Glad you think so!
My boyfriend said I don't communicate properly or listen after a conflict rather than working with me to find a resolution. Then he ghosted me and cut all communication, blocking me on all social media without explanation... Crazy making. First time I've been fully ghosted. Would like to know more about how likely it is that someone who has been ghosted will be ghosted again. I'm never online dating again.
My ex boyfriend ghosted me twice. If he comes back I'm not answering!!!
I was ghosted 2 days ago went to dates twice a week ago.. He does not chat or call like he used to. I'm also quiet not texting at all....
That Very Sad How I Feel About Close Friend Ghost On They Friend 😔 Very Sad
I didn’t even know this was a thing .. we were dating for two months and then I told home I was going out of and and he responded with enjoy your travel and that was it.. poof gone..sad
Going through this atm. Its horrible
Being ghosted is confusing,I was ghosted by a female.She jus stopped texting, I'm sure she found someone else.
That's the worst part. If they found someone else at least tell you they did or break up with you. Not saying anything is terrible!!!
Thank you for your insight 🙏 I have recently been ghosted and it has left me both confused and sad.
Ghosted by someone I have known in real life for around 30 years! I haven’t seen this friend for a good 15 years however, because I moved away but we have always stayed in touch. We weren’t communicating every day but fairly regularly.
Our last conversation was brief and a little strange. I complimented his new profile picture, he said thank you and then said he had not seen a picture of me in a long time (which was the strange part). I responded saying I have shared the most recent ones I have some months ago but when I have a photo taken next I be sure to share it. Great, he said.
In a previous conversation he said he would call at the weekend. He never did. I didn’t think much of it because life gets busy. A couple of weeks past and in that time I noticed that his profile picture had gone from our messages which was strange (only because he would typically have ‘a’ picture there) and so I thought I would message and see how he is …
I was blocked.
No reason, no rhyme… that I am aware of.
I’m not sure how I am supposed to feel. But I do know I feel confused because I can’t figure out the why, and sad because I have seemingly lost a life friend.
Such a sad story! I am so sorry this person ghosted you. It’s so hard when someone doesn’t let you have some sort of closure when the relationship you had was once special. I hope the hurt eventually wears off, like it has for me in my own ghosting experience. Thank you for sharing!
@@socialneuro Thank you, and likewise. Thank you for sharing your experience and insight. I guess it is going to be ‘time’ as the healer, because in these circumstances, what else is there 🤷🏼♀️ I am glad the pain has eased for you. Take care.
@@socialneuroHi there, I wanted to drop in here to let you know that this week, I have had resolve. Communication has been made 🙏❤️
@@legaleagle4947 how fantastic! I hope I have similar news one day. 😎
@@socialneuro Thank you ☺️ I really hope that you do too… there is no thought for the impact on those being ghosted… if only there were more awareness of that. Thanks again, and all the best!
I’ve been ghosted and I have ghosted. When I was younger, since I had been ghosted, I didn’t think it was necessary to tell someone you weren’t feeling them if it wasn’t longer than 3M.
Most of the time I ghosted it was due to lack of maturity and a fear of confrontation. The past two years I’ve been ghosted twice and the pain really made me regroup ghosting. I’D rather just tell them what’s up. I actually recently was upfront about no longer being interested and no blood was shed the door closed with no issues.
However, I did have an incident with a guy who I ghosted bc he gave me a really unnerving feeling. Like if Ted Bundy had stared into the pit of my soul. He got ghosted bc there was a previous incident where he made me uncomfortable and after I told him he did he didn’t regard it all. So this go round I felt no need to be communicative. Overall, ghosting is hurtful, but if the person has made it clear they won’t acknowledge how you feel anyway or there is an issue of safety, I think it is fair.
Hurt ppl hurt ppl
What if a guy ghosted you more than one. And manipulated you and left for 7 months. Then decides to come back into your life. Then you ghosts them to protect your sel emotionally.
My ex ghosted me twice. I will not give him the chance to do it again no matter what his excuse is. That's if he even comes back. It's been three weeks!!
I had the same problem with a distant E-Mail friend [USA-Denmark] .....but the person is Bi-Polar,.....this explains it all....doesn't it
My father has done this because I question his double standards and gaslighting he doesn't like that it hurts when someone you thought loved and cared about you does not really love or care about you it's just all about them . Like a cut that just doesn't heal it's really harnful to your well being 😢.
It’s sad that ghosting exist I didn’t know all this until a couple of days that my ex boyfriend wanted to get back with me and he started doing all those crazy behavior but ghosting really hurted me so much because it has never happened to me before so to me is like something new in 2024😢 sad but yes that’s how I feel torn apart
Yes it's horrible!!!
Don't even bother explaining to them. Some don't even love themselves. 😂
There is no excuse it’s rude in this day and age where people can contact each other and explain so stupid
I was ghosted no explanation at all but a messagw came in my consciousness that itvwas a good thing and something better was on its way and i didnt need that type of person for a future mate .god had other plans for my life for the better 😊
This is increasingly happening to parents with adult children. Totally cutting off all communication without any explanation. And will do so to other parents or siblings if those people question the behavior
If you’re “ghosted”, relax. You can send a birthday card but not ask for any reply; just write “Happy Birthday!”. Leave them to decide when they want to reach out to you.
Pheboe: Have some pride for the love of god.
you should add to your caption how we could cite this source or use this in an academic setting!
Thanks for this video it really helps
Excellent video again. everything your share is just amazing. just enjoyed the whole video. thanks to CZcams's lazy algorithm to introduce this channel to me. this should have discovered way before covid times but youtube's profit system wanted something else.
Thanks again!
I think we just lose interest with each other. I know I have done so many times in my life. If we can lose interest with hobbies and interests, then why not people too.
This man has wisdom. Thank you for posting this.
My pleasure!
I’ve ghosted someone who was toxic because the toxic cycle was driving me insane
The real ghoster in real life is people who didn't talk to each other.
I don’t be caring about people ghosting me
I’ve never been in a relationship but I ghost friends since Middle school & im 2 yrs out of college. The recent ghosting friend was from nursing school. We just graduated & she’d call me weekly. One day I randomly stopped answering. She went as far as tracking my mom to say she was worried I disappeared as I don’t have social media. Once I ghost someone it’s permanent. As a result I have literally ZERO friends. It’s weird bc I’m very kind, make friends easily, can fit in with all types of friend groups. & when I have friends they always compliment how sweet,uplifting, non judgmental I am. The problem is i have a low self worth. I really do not like myself inside & when ppl get close I have to leave before they don’t like me either.
That's no excuse for ghosting.How can you go on with your life, finding it o.k. to hurt people?If you can't continue the relationships for any reason, tell them what's going on.That's at least fair.
To Dovelunalove: Shame on you for the way you treat people. When you are old and nobody wants YOU, you will regret it.
@@galaxy98765 sadly this is true.
Don’t listen to these people. I ghost people ALL THE TIME. Nobody owes anyone anything. You don’t owe anyone any explanation. You don’t owe anybody friendship. You don’t owe them excuses. You don’t owe them lies. You’re free on this planet. You can do whatever you want as long as you recognize the consequences. That’s life. They will recover. I think your reason is perfectly understandable- I ghost people because I don’t lie. If I tell them the truth, it will hurt them more than being ghosted. Let them find a ghosting support group 😒 they will be fine.
Signed,
A marriage and family THERAPIST.
PS
Please go to therapy to work all this out for YOURSELF.
@@christinacreates2393
Ghosting is disrespectful.Nobody should do it. Freedom is non- existent without moral obligations. Without it,it's anarchy. You owe the world a lot. Without it, you wouldn't exist. Without healthy relationships, you're becoming a narcissistic monster. You can't violate the laws of existance.If you do, Karma will catch up with you.
I ghost relatives all the time. It goes both ways. I ghost people when I don't see interest in them in having a healthy friendship and have excuses for everything.
face it. You're no longer interesting or useful to the other person. Alternatively the "other person" may be feeling withdrawn (at best), its not all about you.
Yes. Always remember it's them not you!!!
First, my dad left us when I was 10, so ghosting has always been around in some form. Second, sense this current generation wants IMMEIDATE response from a text, it is leading to an all or nothing communication syndrome.
Ghoster just want to die off. Illness, depression, narcissist, toxic relationships...I just want to be alone. Life of Introvert 😮
I do it frequently, not sure why exactly? 🤔
Attachment issue maybe?
@@UnexpectedAmy
Thx
I just said simply bye forever 😂❤ and moved on
I ghost people to avoid confrontation.
Wow
Sometimes, it's to spare someone from degrading conversations.
The last guy I dated earned 1/3 of what I make, I live in a better neighborhood, better automobile etc.To make matters worse. He was older, physically less attractive(other men always hit on me while I was him, which never happens when I'm with a good-looking guy)
He asked me to move in with him, which I somewhat considered. But on a surprise last-minute visit to his house, the toilet in master bathroom was a SHIT storm. I was so disgusted, couldn't imagine living under such dissmal conditions. I'd reached my concessions limit, so I ghosted him.
That’s a fair point.
..& Omg the toilet 🙈🙈🙈
AI is going to be so powerful.
I have been a ghostee and a ghoster. Before being a ghostee I always tried understanding people and gave them a chance. I saw the good in them. I really was close to the person who ghosted me. After being ghosted I stopped giving others chance, I ghosted anyone who annoyed me the slightest.
444
I've ghosted a few,because they were posers,scammers,cyber stalkers or keyboard hoes,so tell me again aboit hurt feelings,granted there are times when it's not proper but a 2 edge sword for sure
Lol😂 What is a keyboard ho? I think I like that label!!!
Are you receptive to hearing personal stories to serve as potential subject matter for future videos? If so, what is the best method of getting in touch with you?
cool video mr eric🐸
This video speaks absolute facts