Advice To Someone Going Through Divorce | Dr. Omar Suleiman | Ask Me Anything
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- čas přidán 3. 07. 2023
- #divorce #islam #muslim
Disclaimer: This is not a substitute for one-on-one counseling. But many questions I've received are from sincere brothers and sisters navigating divorce. This is some advice that I hope is beneficial as they trek through very difficult waters.
“O Allah, I hope for Your mercy. Do not leave me to myself even for a blink of an eye. Correct all of my affairs for me. There is none worthy of worship except You.”
Thank you Dr. Omar. , I’ve helped me fall in love with our Deen , they way you teach Allah’s words is beyond beautiful. You made me not to fear Allah but to love him. ; for that I’ll never be able to thank you. May Allah continue to bless and protect you and those whom you love ❤️.
Fully agree. It is a delight to hear Dr. Omar's teaching in this day and age
Ameen
AMEEN.
Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu Mashallah brother Sh. Suleiman you’re such a blessing to our shared Umma and to humanity! I recently went through a divorce after 19 years of marriage and 4 children, the kind of divorce that had to happen due to safety reasons. It has been extremely difficult, however Alhamdulillah due to the fact that I have been holding tight to the rope of Allah and the Quran, Alhamdulillah. I would never have chosen divorce if I had a choice. This is the first time I heard any Imam talk about divorce with so much hikma and kindness, it literally made me cry. I needed to hear this. Jazaakumullah Khairan May Allah Tallah continue to bless you and your family fee dunya Wal aahirah Ameen.
I feel most of the divorces are coming from women. Which tells me, that men need to change and behave better and treat their wife’s better. I don’t think any women would like to choose to be divorced. It’s easier for a men to get a new wife then for a women. I can only repeat myself, men need to change. Women need to raise good men. Fathers need to cooperate with their wife’s in order to raise good men! Everyone is envolved in this cycle!
I think only a father can really raise a good man. We need more involved fathers. Women raise boys.
@@deedeee6271 it depends on your definition about a man. My understanding of a man, is someone who knows his responsibilities, is nice towards his family and others because of his good character, someone who is trying to achieve his goals, is passionate determined focused and trustworthy. Someone who has his own thaughts and knows his only one creator. This person can be definitely raised by men and women. So both of them are involved! A women can definitely raise a good man :) and vice versa.
@@zezaaa123I agree, and yes I think women can contribute to the raising of a good man. I am just commenting on whey you said that "fathers need to cooperate with their wives in order to raise good men". To men, it seemed like women are in the forefront and me are helping. I think in this regard, men must take the forefront and raise boys, not be on the sidelines.
Women have made themselves WORTHLESS by preventing four marriages. The issue is with the WOMAN not the man. He cannot assign value to something worthless. These women have been raised by bad hindu mothers FULL STOP and then Allah is going to throw more women into hell than men. Because preventing four marriages comes under the category of showing un gratitude to your husband.
Some communities give marriage courses for the youth and I have taken one, it all seems to boil down to 2 things, live a healthy life (purposeful, curious and fulfilled) and be open to getting help.
BarakAllah fik, thank you for the reminder.
Gem for me : 'The other person may be more invested in the marriage. Don't play with their life like that. '
Specially that respect is important
It's truly remarkable the amount of truth and peace you feel when listening to Dr. Omar Suleiman. He upholds great sincerity and pureness which you can hear from his heart as he speaks. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and for teaching it to the ummah. We all are grateful for it. May Allah continue to bless and reward you Ameen🤲🏼
Brother Omar Suleiman It's the kindness in your soul and the qualities of our beloved Prophet Muhammad S.A.W I see everytime you speak or are interacting with someone 💚
JazakAllah Khair dear respected sheik!. BarakAllah Feek. Wonderful advices . Ameen .
Masha Allah, Sheikh Omar, you are a truly inspiring scholar who has provided guidance and knowledge to me and countless others, enabling us to learn and deepen our connection with our faith.
Beautifully Put. Jazzakallah khairan
Right after seeing the title of this video, I was expecting that you will say something on taqwa ... and alhamdullillah (and not surprisingly) you did! Jazakumullahu khayran, Shaykh.
The command to have taqwa in Surah At-Talaq reminds me of another verse where Allah said, "Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to immorality (fahsha) - while Allah promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allah is All-Encompassing, All-Knowing" (2:268).
The connection that I see here is that, during or after a divorce, people tend to operate according to a "loss" frame of mind. They think that getting divorced may result in a reduction in their food, income, support, rizq, etc. (and this may then compel them into making an unethical decision).
So, in Surah At-Talaq, Allah reverses this loss mindset into a gain mindset by telling us about the miraculous gains that can occur for the people who are God-conscious: Allah will make a way out for them, He will make everything easier for them, and He will provide them with aid and rizq from unexpected places.
I shared more related thoughts on this idea in the following post on QuranReflect:
quranreflect.com/posts/19138
Allahu Akbar 🤲🤲🙏☝️😘🥺
Lovely instructive important khotba full of lessons May Allah grant you paradise
Thank you so much for bringing this topic
May Allah help us all
Jazakallah khair imam
I stopped my kid from seeing her alcoholic, drug addicted, physically abusive father. No regrets
Jazakalah Khairan
Thank you Sheik Omar for this advice about talaq
Assalamu Alaikum to all...choukran to you brother and Imam Omar for this message it is definitely needed.
Divorce 😢 often an ugly situation speak process. I believe that if two adults have a clear and honest mind and respect for themselves and their partner and families, they can make something positive with these shuddered pieces. IN'SHALLAH
These were their partners wives husband's mothers and fathers of their children, and they still have a responsibility. But if the marriage was not healthy, how can the challenge of a divorce be healthy? Hate and arguing and bad talk are not basics of Islam..what do you children see..what you want them to see? Two respectable adults with dignity and respect for each other and all parties involved
Thank you dearest brother 🙏
Jazakallah khair brother to give small talk on this topic. May Allah protect us from shatan’s wispers and guide us to the right path. 🙂
Ameen
Jazakallahu qairan for the advise
Great information ,presented very humbly
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
Please keep me in your duaas, as I just found out my husband (who I’m sponsoring) has gotten married back home. He was planning on divorcing me as soon as he got his conditions removed from his greencard… now I am going through a fraudulent marriage claim through immigration… it’s depressing on so many levels, I was a strong proponent for those who come to the USA legally and how hard it is for people to get here legally… now I’m dealing with this, and for clarification I’m not opposed to plural marriage, but I’m definitely opposed to abusing the system and using people
So sorry to hear what you going through. I pray Allah guide you in this hard time, I had gone through same scenario once upon time, no fault of mine immigration thought it was a sham marriage . Now this man put me through such a mess. Now his in another country married happily with a kid. ALLAH help us.
Always remember Allah azzawajal will always give you something better. Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah akhi, good advice for couples going through a rough patch
Shaykh Omar jazakallah Khair for addressing this important topic. I have been looking for a book on divorce that explains how to tackle and handle it with Ihsan. Please can you write a book/let about this.
May Allah swt reward you for your hard work.
Ameen
Jazakum Allahu Khayran. I'm terribly devastated by my divorce. I cannot get over it and am so depressed yet he moved on.
Inshallah you will find something so much bigger and more beautiful than before 🤲🏽
May Allah Almighty ease your pain , Ameen!
الحمد لله رب العالمين💚
سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنة عرشه ومداد كلماته
Subhan Allah wa bihamdihi 'adada khalqih wa rida nafsihi wa zinata 'arshih wa midada kalimatih
Ameen 🤲🏾
MashaAllah.
Ameen 🙏🏽
Ameen Ameen Ameen.
Well that’s advices are when divorce isn’t for a major reason exemple kofr apostasy. a man who make bad actions and don’t have fear of Allah swt you can not say to the women to think about what good he have done during the nikah… wa allah o a3lam maybe I don’t have the ability to think like you said on the video. Jazakallah ustad.
Subhanallah
Ameen 😢
Wa Alaikum mus Salaam wa Rahmatullahi ta Ala wa Barakatu
Ask me anything,so I just want you to make a video on how you manage time,obviously full time job for your deen,other than that I just want to know everyday routine and if you’re not in this field like serving islam,helping others understand religion etc I just want to know if you weren’t in this place what job you would have taken ?Just want to know your routine,forms of dhikr,how much time you allot to family and oll
If you could just wrap up it in even 1min short that also would be a lot of help😊
Assalamu alaykum! Could we pray duhur qadha in Asr?
Which prayer time convention method is one supposed to follow in Mumbai, India? (There is no mosque in my locality. It's a non- muslim community)
What if one doesn't want to get married. Is it obligatory in Islam?
Please give advice to us reverts. I am in a position where I know divorce is necessary even though I don’t want it but my husband is pushing for it. I live alone in a Muslim country and I fear that going back to the U.S. with my children may cost not only my akhirah but my children’s as well. I fear going back as I don’t come from a Muslim family, I always wanted my children to be surrounded by Muslims and for that reason I have been trying my best to make this marriage work but it is only I putting in the effort and he is adamant on divorce. How can we make the best decision for our children and their upbringing? I would not bear the pain of leaving my children behind in this country so it isn’t an option for me but I also fear them going astray in the U.S. I don’t have a Muslim community to go home to or even Muslim family to feel comfortable enough to raise my children around. I am truly shattered.
Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu sister 😢My heart goes out to you and your family. I just went through a divorce and I don’t wish it to my enemy. I was born and raised Muslim and I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. Please be careful and find someone who you can trust to support you but most importantly trust Allah. Also read Surah Baqarah as much as possible even daily if possible. May Allah Tallah show you the way and protect you and your family AmeenAllah
Call upon Jesus, Who will answer you. Be blessed!
Sister, is he a good Muslim and a good father? If no to both, then leave him, take your kids, and work hard at raising them to be good Muslims, in your own country . Allah will provide, and protect them
I'm in a similar situation with 2 children ,don't know what to do& I have no support system.
My husband wants a divorce, he thinks i was not a good wife, he thinks i was financially irresponsible and he does not want to be answerable to me, he tells me he is not answerable to me. I have 2 boys, 9 years old autistic child and a 6 year old neurotypical son. He is adamant on divorce. All these years he has been verbally and mentally abusive too. No even i have made up my mind for a divorce. He is ready to do security for me and is ready to provide for me and my kids. We both live in different country. I moved to USA for my autistic’s son’s better support and therapy. He comes with a family baggage and anything i suggest goes against me. Whatever bad happens in is life he blames it on me. Recently has been used a lot of harsh words and when i get angry he says he has work pressure because he is working on financial stability for myself, kids and parents. And i also doubt that he is cheating on me. Caught him as well once in the past so now I don’t trust him.
Algamdoelielah. All that ribald against my name is clear . During my divorce. Allah Akbar. I wnt going to do it again
Assalamu alaikum Dr.Omar,
Is it ok to do Arabic calligraphy with Quran verses on canvas or something and keep on my wall?
Taqwa is a two way street in a relationship!!!
I can forgive my spouse but I cannot surrender my life.
I still love them, care about them, pray for them and will remember them for the rest of my life.
I cannot give them the KEY to ruin my life if they decide to divorce me down the line with kids involved.
I live in Canada - and I believed it is better to end it now because I did not wanted to live a suffocating live where my feelings and mental health didn't matter. What the point of a relationship if there is no transparency, no trust and above all it mainly one sided!!!.
I have people depending on me and I cannot go to jail on false charges or become a servant to the government.
The details at immense and I still pray to Allah that it could have worked out and my heart aches everyday. If there was a way to hold my spouse to their promises then I would get back together immediately. I want nothing from them other than sincerity, guidance, care, kindness and love.
Allah SWT knows best.
All that riba is clear.algamdoelielah
We from the subcontinent very anti devorce culture , but mixing with arabik or wahabi culture it seems like devorce is lovely it's the best u can ever do its like devorce is better then marriage.
When u go through a divorce .it's not easy . When u marriage failure, then the two persons can't communicate with each oither . I went through a divorce. I went for taleck , go through 3 times. I get the fasag cz my husband,, he made a child outside my marriage. He brake all laws of Islam. He went back to Christian. U thing u no your partner u married for 21 years , but u dnt no what they really are . When I come by my 3 times . He asked to go me back . Then i get the fasag . I give him another chance. He said he wnt do it again. After a week, he start again . I walked out of my house . Then I get a lawyer, for a divorce. If u partner step out of the house. Then he remarried someone else . My partner was blaming the religion, for his own fault.
Me and my parents are very stressed. I recently got married. Me and my husband we both work. First, he asked me for 50% financially contribution in our mutual expenses like food, rent, bills,groceries. I didn’t want that and refused. he started threatening me for divorce so, I said okay. Then he asked me to give up my personal bank account and to put my salary and his salary in one joint account. I didn’t want that. I told him that we can have 4 accounts.1 account for mutual expenses, 1 account for savings and 1 his personal account and 1 mine. He doesn’t agree and says that if I can’t give up my personal account we can’t live together. He will consider that I don’t trust him and since then he is telling me that we can’t live together. I have spoken to his mother and his parents support him and I’m living at my parents house. What should I do? Should I get a khula?
Splitting the bills 50/50 is fairly normal now a days.
However do not share all your money with him and don’t put all your money into a joint account, he can take all of it. Your point of 4 accounts is reasonable. If he is against it, he is just trying to take your money. I would end it
Sis do you actually think that he's a real man by asking for money in this way? In Islam it is not allowed for a man to take his wife's wealth without her permission. He cannot force her to give her money to him either. He's being manipulative by mentioning divorce on such a trivial issue and also telling you that you don't trust him. I will suggest you watch DanishBashir's videos on CZcams. He is a narc coach and a psychologist and I feel like your husband is a narcissist. He might or might not be one. Search for the signs. They are pretty apparent. Go through those videos I suggested. Such men are insincere, parasitic and manipulative. I have dealt with many people like this. Did you marry to live a life that you are living now?or you got married for attaining peace of the heart and mind? Sis this person will use you for his benefits, abuse you in other ways and dispose of you like he would a tissue paper if he is a narcissist. There is one solution to your problem and that is divorce by having full Tawakkul in Allah that He is the Provider and Best Disposer of affairs. HasbunAllahu wa Ni'mal Wakeel. If you can get a job that's good or try to open a small online business to support yourself and gain independence from this person asap. Before it's too late. Recite, Surah Furqan verse 74 in Arabic and focus on the meaning: “Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.”
Divorce in anger ? Which is valid please ?
I am divorced in Shariah but not on papers. Wasn't a good wife, he lost his temper , said I divorce you a couple of times and now I am a single mother of 3 and he not able to move on to a new marriage😢
Bismilllahirahman neeraheem ASALAMU ALAIKUM Warahmattulahi Wabarakatuhu Shiekh was I married to him the Shiekh that recites
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
@@DarylSimpson58 Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
@@Kurt5Dobson Her name is *Victoria Lee hess*, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
@@DarylSimpson58 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
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👍🏻
Salam, I would say people entered marriage not with high expectations but rather unrealistic expectations
Asalam Alaikum brother. I have a question. Are women allowed to travel alone in islam or she must travel with her mahram? Can you please talk about this in a video 🙏🏼
Please talk about this, and for hajj and umrah jazakallah, women group do hajj and umrah please advise what is sunnah, to much confusion
Ustadha Maryam Amir addressed this topic. She is on YT under her name.
@@deedeee6271 thank you so much🙏🏼
@@zahidavally6193 yesss I really wanna know if it’s permissible to travel alone for trips or with friends and hajj etc…
No they cannot. The fact that price salman allows it for hajj and umrah is simply because he now has a way of making profit from women.
Shahana Dhagha, ICNA, ISB represtative first told me about a marriage of 2006. It wasn't me. Had no idea who is this person or where she got this info. Nasreen Rahman, ICNA specialist work together with Shahana Dhaga. My ex husband said, police knows how to find me. Now, this Muslim community in Waldorf, keep telling me SHOULD WE CALL 911 FOR YOU? How do I response to them? Where I have no address, no court filing yet, what I am going to do calling 911?
Do you have to observe Iddah in situations where the husband has been verbally abusive and also physically violent?
Don't forget your abuses
I'm sorry for my behavior. I feel 😪 bad . Forgive me .
I feel problem is not who raise who,
But how you raise your child (boy/girl)
You speak with them in English when they are babies, preparing them for this duniya only, successful docs and engineerings etc., thats it...thats the problem
Assalamu Alaikum ...I lastly met my husband before 3 years I was taking care of my bedridden mother she died before 6 months...He and his mother didn't support me ...finally through Fasah procedure we got divorce.. I am not clear about what is the iddah period for Fasah procedure and how to be in iddah period can i stay in my home during my iddah period... Someone please clarify URGENT..
Walaikum assalaam sister
Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods,
2:227) And if they resolve on divorce,247 surely Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing. (2:228) Divorced women shall keep themselves in waiting for three menstrual courses and it is unlawful for them, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day, to hide whatever Allah might have created in their wombs.
Assalamu Alaikum! I have a question please can you answer me? In our country they don’t allow women to wear hijabs at schools or work places. I went to study abroad without knowing that it’s not permissible to travel alone, I found out about it a month ago and told my parents that it’s sinful and I don’t want to be sinner but they don’t listen to me and forcing me to go and continue my studies! Please can you give me advice 🥺
My wife want divorce me because she claims im a low life and i don’t have good credit score and she think she doesn’t see any future with me, is this valid divorce or im in wrong?
Assalamualaikum i really want to ask something i am depressed and hopeless everybody say read quran you will find every answer but I don't understand quran very easily please guide meI am 23 year old i work in a school as a teacher i cover myself and my head daily except face i am earning halal I don't talk to boys the environment of the school is good alhamdulillah i am happy and Allah is giving more opportunities day by day by giving me kids to tutor them personally alhamdulillah some people say we can earn like this if we are not showing our body and earning halal some people say prophet didn't liked woman's who go out and earn when they have a man to earn i have dreamed of teaching kindergarten i want to go further but all these things are blocking my mind we woman's are not allowed to do anything to dream to do job to for ourselves for our passions??
Please help me 😭
Sister aisha (r:) was a teacher scholar habibti
@@Ruun533 but she is very pure she covered herself properly she was not doing any job i don't know about anything i want clearrr explanation from Dr omar
@LMNM800 so why it is written in quran that woman should stay at home in chadar and why prophet did not liked woman's who go out without any necessity
@LMNM800 what about jobs? Even if our father husband is alive
شكرا لكم هل أطلعت على القناة الجديده على اليوتوب أسمها سحر الطاقه واليوجا بها العديد من شهادات مدربين كبار تائبون للطاقه واليوجا والريكي والتاروت واليوجا والاكسس بار والثيتا القائم على القناة جراند مستر لهذه العلوم سابق كان قد أمضى أكثر من خمس وعشرون عام فى معابد الصين والهند وكان يعتمد كبار المدربين فى العالم العربي
نرجو منكم نقل محتوى هذه القناة الى اللغة الإنجليزيه للتعريف بخطورة علوم السحر التى تقدم بأسم التنيمه البشريه
Salam alaikum Akhi, is paying spousal support for an ex wife halal in Islam? Not child support. Paying child support for maintaining the kids that came from the marriage and then paying additional Spousal support for an ex-wife. Someone who is probably another person’s wife already for few years as it’s been practiced in the west. Draining the man into financial crises.
Radical Feminism leads to breakups
The main reason is modern women are influenced by feminism, they don't take any accountability. It's not easy for a men to get married again he has to fulfil the financial need of the children in case of divorce, women have much more options, you can say that she will not get the man she want but she will definitely get a man, but it's really hard for a common men to get married again, unless he has finance, in that case by definition he is not common.
This is so ignorant to say 'Any women would like to choose divorce', you are so unaware of the modern women, they will divorce you, because 2 years back there was some fight between you two but it got sorted out. They will just divorce you for that, another reason 'I just don't feel like it anymore' it not how you feel like, they don't take any accountability, they will divorce you take your kid and the expenses of kid of-course, they have nothing to lose, previously the family would keep a check on woman, and shame her, and teach her accountability but nowadays that's not the case, she can do whatever she wants, family unit is broken at it's core.
It was old day that men some men were bad, but modern day men are way-way tolerant and open minded than the olden day (exceptions are always there) but that is not enough feminism punish these good guys. You will do everything for her, the moment you disagree with her on one thing, she will get mad even though Allah says the women to obey her husband not the other way around.
The solution for this is parents teaching their daughters accountability, if they give her everything and don't held her accountable for her mistakes, her character will be of that women I explained above, same could be said for son but the son role will remain same he has to protect and provide which he's already doing (most husbands do that anyways) and due to modern time they are open-minded and tolerant as I explained above.
So daughters need to be taught accountability from her early age, it so hypocritical and double standard to say that "if women leave it's men's fault", "if a man leaves her wife", again it's his fault.
In both cases men are held accountable, this is due to feminism, which our modern muslim women follows, don't take accountability just blame blame blame.
Women these days dont listen to anything what their husband says in that case divorce is the only way ..
Divorce is permissible but the problem is that it damages lives of both persons😊 emotionally. Although there are so many different types of cases but marriage can work beautifully if both persons agree and decide that they won't end it. Actually when it comes to resolving ladies tend to give tough time, not all but some do.
Wy wahabis ar so pro devorce, just like westerners.
It's time men marry a wife rather than hire a wife. Yes indeed it's a contract but a divinely blessed contract.
Thank you Dr. Omar. , I’ve helped me fall in love with our Deen , they way you teach Allah’s words is beyond beautiful. You made me not to fear Allah but to love him. ; for that I’ll never be able to thank you. May Allah continue to bless and protect you and those whom you love ❤️.