Forgiveness And Reconciliation In Marriage | Paul Friedman
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Forgiveness and reconciliation in marriage.
Settle down, open your heart open your mind so we can talk about this. The first one is forgiveness. This is one of the most misunderstood things in the world. I can forgive. You can forgive but when we take that on with the meaning that is generally accepted it puts us in a place of superiority that we don't own. We don't really get to forgive only God can forgive. If someone errors, and this is very important for you to see it this way, when you air, when you make a mistake you pay for it. There's no way out. You walk into a store, you touch something
it falls to the ground and breaks. You own it that's sort of how karma is because that's what we're talking about here.
No matter what you do, there's cause and effect 100% of the time so when you make a mistake
you have to pay for. When you do something good you benefit from it so it's not just crime and punishment. It's a balance in the universe. It's how things work so let's pretend you are the wife. I know you might be a man watching this but let's pretend is a wife and as a wife, your husband
cheated on you and boy are you mad and there's a lot of reasons.
Why?
There's betrayal need I to go further and now you've reached a point where you go, "Well, I'm not going to give him up," for whatever reason. It might be because of the kids. It might be because you're very invested in the marriage a lot of years, maybe you still love him so much you can't stand it but he cheated on you. So you know you need to forgive him as a first step. Well, let me tell you something that you already know but I'm just going to bring it to the surface. He made a huge mistake. He hurt you but he hurt himself much more because it's treacherous. He has to pay for that and he may not even be thinking that. Most of us don't let's face it but there's no way he gets out of paying the price.
The thing to do and this is a workaround, we're going to get back to the forgiveness which is
what you really mean but the workaround is to infuse your mind with compassion for your husband knowing that somewhere down the road in his future he's going to pay. You want to pray for him that he becomes a better man -- that's selfish. That's not even close to forgiveness.
Pray for him that he learns so that he doesn't get burned again and again and again by making the same mistake -- that's cool. So you need to really see this from up here. You've got to take yourself out of the victim role in this scene and see him more objectively and understand that he stuck his hand in a beehive to get some honey. And he got a little honey but he's also
getting stung, and there's no avoiding it.
There's no getting around it for him. He will pay. Now some women go, "Good." That thought creates bad karma for that woman because worse especially if it's your husband, you promise to love him for the rest of your life to be of service to him, didn't you? And if you're that woman
who says good, he's going to pay for it -- not good. So the act of forgiveness which is what you're talking about is you're really saying, "How do I get past this? How do I take him off the hook in my mind?" Well, what we just talked about is one way that you understand what he did he didn't do to you. He did it to himself and so replacing this feeling of being victimized in the feeling of wanting revenge, in the feeling of wanting him maybe not revenge but you want him to come clean. No, don't want those things. So now the next question is, "Well, how do I not want those things? I'm only human."
It's a very interesting thing that we're moving into. We're going deeper and deeper in this subject and it's necessary. We are not taught ever in our lifetime until we seek it later in our lifetime maybe. We're not taught that the mind is a possession of ours. We are souls. We're not the mind. Some people who are atheists they go, "Well, I'm not a soul." Fine, you're consciousness.
The point is the mind is a possession how it thinks, how it perceives how it responds, reacts
all of that is up to you because you have free will. So the first step in the healing is for you to start gaining control over your reactions because even when you say, "I'm not reacting, he did this a year ago." You're reacting to the memory is the stimulant and the habit reaction is the problem. You have to gain control over that or there is no way to forgive him. You have to learn how to control your mind otherwise, you're just stuffing things which is not cool.
Watch the video for more.
#marriage #forgiveness #reconciliation #marriagetips #angermanagement #marriagewithoutdivorce
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Im a muslim woman ! (I start my comment like that bcuz it’s a lot of prejudice lately) i love the fact that he always bring it to the simplest way. We are a soul, we are love. And very religion matched this facts! Since I am watching his videos I learned so so much! I can say that he saved me cuz I have so much temperament and I drove my poor husband crazy. Thank you very much!
I have been through the course twice and listened to many of them many, many, many more times. I listen to many of your videos over and over and over and just want to say a HUGE THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO!!! I wish this had been around 30 years ago. Though I do believe when "the student is ready, the teacher will appear" 😀 My prayer is that this reaches EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. May you be abundantly BLESSED
We are all abundantly blessed aren't we 🙏 Thank you for your loving support of our work
I am in the course right now and I love it
Every marriage needs this
“I want what I wanted in the first place”, yes.
Thank you, Paul Friedman, for living such a powerful example and teaching us all.
I’m in Week 8 of 12.
⚡️💛⚡️
It is my honor to serve my friends 🙏
@@TheMarriageFoundation Thank you [praying hands]
I really appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to be a blessing! Thanks so much
It is my mission to serve 🙏
Thank you very much Sir for this wonderful message, I pray that I overcome the pain that I've fell today.
Thank you .I really like the way you make me thinj differently about my marriage. I wish i knew this before i messed up my marriage
Thank you so much, from Montreal Canada
An awesome staff more blessings
Thank you so much.
Thank you very very very much
"Set your mind on things above...renew your mind....the mind of the Spirit is life...." says the Holy Bible. Might I suggest we all read it daily and do what it says
There are many great scriptures and remembering God loves us by reading them is uplifting, indeed
Amen!!!
Thank you 🙏
Thank you!
🙏
thank you
ty & God bless!
God bless your marriage 🙏
I'm finding it difficult to connect back to the love for my husband who's long distance from me, after he yelled at me. How do I use my free will to control my mind to feel the love, and compassion for him? My habit is my drive to survive, I don't want to keep getting yelled at, even as a feather with the bowling ball I want to cuss out the bowling ball. Signed - Trying to control my mind!
One does not give up mastering the mind just because the mind tells them it is difficult, nor make excuses for not succeeding. One keeps up the effort until they are in tune with their heart's love, period.
Mr. Friedman, thank you so much for the wonderful insights. I have been married for 8 years but my husband and I are on separation for almost 2 years now. He messed up greatly with multiple infidelity, very proud person, so unfaithful with money when dealing with people, habitual and chronic liar and so immature. We have four kids and we got separated because he became abusive. There’s pressure on me because most people are asking me to forgive him and reconcile but he isn’t remorseful and already seriously involved with someone else or other people. Please what do I do?
It is impossible to know so much so that I can give advice BUT even if you are seperated of course you must forgive and make sure the children have that example of love even when it is unrequited. We are here to learn to love, to seek God in all and our marriages are a great gift, even when they are so only for the challenges/lessons
@@TheMarriageFoundation Thank you very much for your response.
@@TheMarriageFoundation He hasn’t done anything yet to show that he is still interested in the marriage but however, he has introduced his new girlfriend to the kids and I guess he is now in another serious relationship. Should I wait in hope that one day after many years he may come to himself and come back to his family or I should consider letting him go and finding my place elsewhere?
Just "waiting" without changing yourself will not produce anything positive even if she dumps him or he, her. You ought to take the course for women and that way you will be doing...doing all that you can, and should, and it will change your life no matter what happens.
@@TheMarriageFoundation Sounds great! Am interested how do i begin the course for women?
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Where is the Bible in all this? Is this Christian ?
Do you ask that when you go the dentist to fix your teeth? God is omnipresent and guides our teachings and work.
God ultimately is Love