Unfortunately, the same thing happens in families. I was sexually abused by my dad. My mom knew and helped him to cover it up. Even today, no one will accept that it happened. I had to cut off contact with my family because of all of it. Thanks for standing up for victims. We really don't have a voice. Everyone seems to prefer to pretend it doesn't happen.
> Everyone seems to prefer to pretend it doesn't happen. Similar to the violence inflicted on innocent animals for taste pleasure. Humans cannot know peace until we eat peacefully.
Have you read the book the body keeps the score from Bessel Van Der Kolk? You really have to read it, you will find the answers there, you might have to do treatment. I’m starting EMDR therapy next week. Let me know if you want to know what it’s about. You are not alone. Best wishes.
literally sobbing my eyes out because i’ve never felt so validated in my life. thank you for making me feel okay about struggling ever since what happened to me. it’s so important we talk about these things
Came here after seeing Colin on ‘Footballs Darkest Secret’. I was at school with Colin and of course had no idea of any of this occurring. I remember his affiliation with Chelsea. Having sometimes dealt with sex offenders during my career I can appreciate the mental strength he displays here with the aim of bringing these things into the open.
I agree that elite athletes are never schooled in how to live in the real world. I think that my abuse in childhood - made me a very great athlete. However, when I finally became happy I discovered that I did not mind if I did not win races. This was the greatest thing of my life. But then I had to learn to live in the world.
Impressive dealing with difficult truths! Impressive depth, clearity! He speaks about the environment from inside, and has grown so much beyond. Impressive!
The mental side of this abuse can continue forever, you dont have to tell your wife all the details but i hope your speaking to a therapist as they are trained to deal with these things and will help you process what happened. Being abused as a child doesnt make you not masculine as you never asked to be abused and they were an adult and a child would not be able to defend or rationalise whats happened or the implications of it till they are older. Its good others have opened up about it and man or women should always speak up against any types of abuse, i am so glad these men have spoken up because purpotrators thrive due to keeping their victims silence. This is such great progress and the more we talk about it the people would know that its unacceptable.
I live with this long term effect since I was a child I was sexually abused by my brother who is 4 years older than me by 2 miscarriages different dads also my mom failed to protect me because she favoritism’s my brother and my sister over me and my dad plus my mom knew my dad since there where in elementary school thru middle school together also I have suffered from this from a long time because it’s a generational curse on my mom side of family of 15 kids nine boys 5 girls some of my uncles where rapping my aunties including my moms mom also it was past down to my great grandmother men raping my aunties and my grandma also it still goes on to this day my diseased aunt my mom sister was touched by my great grandmother man when she was 12 years old so it’s difficult to deal with.
This says nothing about the long term effects or options for dealing with them outside of his experience in relation to spirts in particular... Not very informative at all
29:09 obviously, being a woman prevents me from understanding male experiences of societal expectations, but I doubt that it's gendered socialisation that makes this difficult.
Unfortunately, the same thing happens in families. I was sexually abused by my dad. My mom knew and helped him to cover it up. Even today, no one will accept that it happened. I had to cut off contact with my family because of all of it. Thanks for standing up for victims. We really don't have a voice. Everyone seems to prefer to pretend it doesn't happen.
Same happened to me. My life ended up getting threatened because I spoke up and I ended up homeless for years
@@notspeakingfornow I'm so sorry to hear that. You didn't deserve that.
> Everyone seems to prefer to pretend it doesn't happen.
Similar to the violence inflicted on innocent animals for taste pleasure. Humans cannot know peace until we eat peacefully.
I am really sorry 😞 this happened to you , hope you find your healing 🙏.
Have you read the book the body keeps the score from Bessel Van Der Kolk? You really have to read it, you will find the answers there, you might have to do treatment. I’m starting EMDR therapy next week. Let me know if you want to know what it’s about. You are not alone. Best wishes.
How are you so brave? When others can barely whisper to themselves that they might have been abused? You are to be admired.
This is one courageous man. I have so much respect for him. It makes it easier for others to come forward and speak of their pain and suffering.
literally sobbing my eyes out because i’ve never felt so validated in my life. thank you for making me feel okay about struggling ever since what happened to me. it’s so important we talk about these things
It wasn't your fault. It never will be.
@@rohitbhushan8855 thank you
This is remarkably brave - well done, Dr Harris
“That explains a lot, doesn’t it…”
I understand. 🙏
Came here after seeing Colin on ‘Footballs Darkest Secret’. I was at school with Colin and of course had no idea of any of this occurring. I remember his affiliation with Chelsea. Having sometimes dealt with sex offenders during my career I can appreciate the mental strength he displays here with the aim of bringing these things into the open.
Only that person with a big courage is able to disclousure this issue as it is seen nowadays. All my respect to you❤
I have so much respect for you.
Two thirds into this lecture and finally a word about the long term effects....wow...
I almost baled waiting for you to get to the point.
Agreed!!!
I agree that elite athletes are never schooled in how to live in the real world. I think that my abuse in childhood - made me a very great athlete. However, when I finally became happy I discovered that I did not mind if I did not win races. This was the greatest thing of my life. But then I had to learn to live in the world.
Impressive dealing with difficult truths! Impressive depth, clearity! He speaks about the environment from inside, and has grown so much beyond. Impressive!
The mental side of this abuse can continue forever, you dont have to tell your wife all the details but i hope your speaking to a therapist as they are trained to deal with these things and will help you process what happened. Being abused as a child doesnt make you not masculine as you never asked to be abused and they were an adult and a child would not be able to defend or rationalise whats happened or the implications of it till they are older. Its good others have opened up about it and man or women should always speak up against any types of abuse, i am so glad these men have spoken up because purpotrators thrive due to keeping their victims silence. This is such great progress and the more we talk about it the people would know that its unacceptable.
He’s telling the truth. Good man.
I live with this long term effect since I was a child I was sexually abused by my brother who is 4 years older than me by 2 miscarriages different dads also my mom failed to protect me because she favoritism’s my brother and my sister over me and my dad plus my mom knew my dad since there where in elementary school thru middle school together also I have suffered from this from a long time because it’s a generational curse on my mom side of family of 15 kids nine boys 5 girls some of my uncles where rapping my aunties including my moms mom also it was past down to my great grandmother men raping my aunties and my grandma also it still goes on to this day my diseased aunt my mom sister was touched by my great grandmother man when she was 12 years old so it’s difficult to deal with.
how can i contact you? im a survivor too , uk
What happened to you 😕?
20:07
Thank you 🙏
A whole bunch of words but very little clear specificity on the topic itself. Next time, please cut to the 'chase scene'.
WHAT TO DO IF A THERAPIST THAT WE GO TO TALK ABOUT THIS ABUSE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF US AND USE US FOR SEX? HOW WE CAN REMOVE OURSELF FROM THIS SITUATION?
This says nothing about the long term effects or options for dealing with them outside of his experience in relation to spirts in particular... Not very informative at all
29:09 obviously, being a woman prevents me from understanding male experiences of societal expectations, but I doubt that it's gendered socialisation that makes this difficult.
S
It isn't about power it's about sex
Thank U, This makes so much sense to Me…I am a Survivor as well 🙌🏾🦾🙌🏾
I choose to run peace