Boyfriend BREAKS HER DOWN, But She Won't Leave I Steve Harvey
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- čas přidán 2. 07. 2024
- She feels trapped in her 12-year relationship with her boyfriend. She wants to leave him, but the thought of her kids growing up in a single parent household is holding her back.
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"Kids would rather be from a broken home, rather than to live in a broken home" : Steve Harvey.
AMEN
My kids have said the same thing. My husband has been verbally and mentally abusive for years and we separated last October. They’ve said I’m happier now than before.
A broken home isn't the one without both parents I grew up without both my parents just my mom my aunt and my mom's best friend helped each other raise me from birth until now I'm 28 married with kids of my own and I can tell you one thing there was nothing broken about my upbringing❤
I like that, Steve my man
facts. facts.
Staying teaches your children that it’s normal to be unhappy & to undervalue yourself. Having 2 happy homes is better than having 1 dysfunctional, unhappy home.
sometimes the BREAK-UP is the BLESSING!!!!!🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💯
Agree 100 percent
I was that kid as well. I even begged my mother to leave my dad, i was barely 10. The day she left was honestly was one of best days of my life! I was so sick of seing my mother sad and cry all the time. I learned a lot from observing my parents' relationship, especially what to NOT tolerate from a man. And one thing about me darling, I will leave!
I don't think a 10 years old boy wrote this. If they agree, don't push your parents to separate.
Same here, my siblings and I were so happy when my mom left our father, everything got so much better.
Same here, I was even younger when I asked them to give it up already 😂 at some point we have to be realistic. Don’t let your kids get to that point before you do.
So true
I hope she finds the strength to leave this man.
Those women were so supportive great advice I was that kid wished my mom left😢
I always think it’s pretty funny how the men that’s apparently so horrible are never here on the show to say their side of the story?! 🤔🤔🤔😏😬😂
@@hawaiianrussian1047yeah,I get what you're saying,&&,I low-key agree!💯
@@andreajones886 just shocked that no one else in the comments seems to point that pretty obvious and glaring fact lol
@@hawaiianrussian1047because no one wants to hear the excuses and lies from the men. Period!
@@DivaRemy oh you mean the way women love hearing the lies and excuses from other women?! 🤔😏😂
Yes ladies. Don't lose yourself in a relationship. Because it takes awhile to find yourself again after it's over.
I knew my first marriage wasn't it at 3 years. At 8 years I knew I wanted out. Stayed 15 years for the sake of the kids. When I decided enough was enough, the kids said this...."Mama, being married is no different than being divorced". My kids saw no difference because he was never around any way. My resolve to make the best life for my children became stronger, made us stronger as we grew closer to God.
You know what’s hilarious….if we just switched your exact scenario and make it a guy instead that was like “ ya know …I actually wasn’t happy with her and knew my marriage wasn’t it by 3 years it ……but I stayed 15 years just for the sake of the kids “ I’m yelling you we as men would just get “ ok so she clearly wasn’t that bad if you chose to stay!!! 😡🤬” and a WHOLE DIFFERENT REACTION then the one women would give towards your claimed scenario 😂😂
@@hawaiianrussian1047 I did quite understand your message. However, my children are all adults now with their own families, homes, and careers. I'm happily remarried, could have retired a few years ago but love my job. I said that to say, life goes on and becomes what you make of it. Hopefully men and women going through temporary tough situations come out of them better.
@@carmengooden4162 nah I get it and if everything your saying is true good for you , I’m just saying that we as men would never get some type of weird credit that women give other women for saying the old “ I wasn’t happy but I just stayed for the kids/im a loving person 😢” thing that women ALWAYS say lol if use that same line you know what women tell us … “ well you stayed with her so obviously she wasn’t that bad !!! 🙄🙄😡” but some how you could use the exact same like and all of a you get praised and cheered 🤔🤔🤔😬😂
The fact that she's allowing her boyfriend to verbally abuse her is showing her children that it's ok for people to treat you like dirt
Allowing is not an appropriate way to frame it- abuse is subtle…and complex.
@@1ofwonAllowing is the perfect word in my opinion.
@@kristinakellogg1732 ignorance is bliss. It’s a progression- takes time to see things clearly.
Some people don’t understand they have power and choice. No matter the age. They need to know it’s okay to leave. It’s okay if they go and grow.
Fear is at the core of this all and some of you women actually push women back into the corner by using blanket words like “allowed”
Learning and understanding is a progression.
@@1ofwonThose are HER issues that she is trying to put on the blame. Come on a woman either has self esteem and self love and understands healthy relationships IF she doesn't then guess what she repeats same pattern with a different man yet it's " always" the mans fault. She had 3 kids with this man yet says she's stuck well why keep popping out kids especially with no marriage. She is not stuck she chooses to be in her own mind so her actions follow
@@kristinakellogg1732 life isn’t perfect and maybe that’s exactly the issue- she doesn’t yet understand what she deserves and what healthy relationships look like. I get your point of view- what I’m adding is- learning is a progression. Where she’s at- she believes staying is better and until that changes- nothing else does. I don’t believe for a second she’s using them as an excuse. She’s been in that relationship for some time, he or someone may have told her it’s as good as it gets. There’s so many nuances and variable. My point is that, specifically, when WOMEN BLAME WOMEN instead of looking for understanding and context, the harsh judgements and criticisms don’t help. They push women back into the very position they’re trying to convince themselves is better to be out of. If she had to deal with his bs which is familiar or someone like yours which isn’t- she knows how to survive with his-
Stormi talked about how her mom got into relationships to find love and she doesn’t want to follow those footsteps but yet she’s GETTING a divorce and already living with another man and is engaged . I think she’s following her mom’s footsteps 100% . Steve is correct “ take time to find love within yourself “
Exactly
*Cheating and bad relationships* should always be dealbreakers. It’s refreshing to see people challenge the folks who make excuses to stay in horrible relationships and tolerate disrespect.
The worst thing you can do for your kids is stay in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship
He isn’t your husband. Leave
Took me almost 10 years to realize this myself, now being a single mom of 2 its hard but been the best thing for me tho. I was in a unhappy marriage and a abusive one at that. My kids have been alot better off also as well I can tell they feel relaxed
Y’all both were abusive and separated so good 😊😏😬😂
@@hawaiianrussian1047 What you are you laughing at? That's a dick thing to do.
Twelve years, years too long. You need to leave. Pack and wipe the dust from your feet. Kids are smart.
…it’s pretty funny because I swear if a man DARED to do the same thing and go on national television to whine about his girlfriend of 12 years and talk about how she’s apparently so horrible to him I swear wouldn’t most women just be like “ well you chose her and still with her so she must not be that bad! 🙄” ?! 🤔🤔🤔🙄
@@hawaiianrussian1047what's your point?
@@luananana4679 oh I’ll explain easily it’s the fact that women do not keep that same “ blunt / tell it like it is “ energy towards women the same way they do with men 😊😂 anytime a man complains about his other half especially if they’ve been together for a long time women will just be like “ well your still with her so must not be that bad! 🙄 “ or “ hmm I wonder what she has to say bout you ?! “ but yet a grown woman could cry a sob story and women will believe whatever she says and give a totally different energy..that’s my point 😊😂
smart and RESILIENT
@@hawaiianrussian1047I agree 💯
The HELL NO 😂 after Steve said “can you do 12 more years?” She’s such a strong lady.
Steve gives the best advice. As a man who's been thru divorce, he's the first to admit he wasn't the husband he should have been. This is not just the man's fault in the relationship. We force ourselves to stay and struggle and be the martyr, when in truth we are showing our kids that we don't value ourselves by accepting being treated any kind of way. Trust me, I stayed. And it was a MISTAKE. And I threw away 37 years of my life. Men will always think of themselves, and women fault them for it, when WE should be doing that for ourselves.
Is it okay for the woman in the relationship to think of herself first as well?
@@PHE-nomenon what? Lol
@@PHE-nomenon ABSOLUTELY. I didn't, so I taught my kids, especially my daughters, that women who are unhappy should stay in a bad situation, because we don't matter. That's what I modeled for them.
No he doesn’t. He never holds the women accountable. They’re just queens and deserve the best.
@@aubriellemorgan Who's forcing you to watch? All we ever hear about black men is how they are disrespectful to women, and they are absentee fathers. Steve is neither of those. Yet he's still can't do anything worth commending? Smh
My husband & i hv been married for 11 yrs been together for 18 yrs. We hv a 5 yr old & 6 month old. I am my biggest critic & i am constantly saying i feel like i dont do enough for the newest baby, i dont pump enough, i dont make enough milk & my husband is always encouraging me. You are enough, u do enough & u make enough babe. He is the best ❤
That’s 50%. 50% is an F at all schools. Love all of the advice and the compassion and empathy.
Two happy homes are better than one unhappy home💚💛❤
Self Care And Self Love, I had to find to give that to myself.
….os she’s full of it and wants attention 🙄😂
The question is why would you be a girlfriend for 12 years why didn't he marry her? Im not getting it
I bet shes happy she didn't especially if she saw the red flag in the first year
….ummmm also who is with their other half for 12 YEARS and goes on a national television show to bash him and I swear how is it somehow all the women are always in his show bashing their other halves and the man just so happens to never be their to defend themselves?!? 🤔🤔 do women just automatically believe EVERYTHING other women say whenever they victimize themselves? Lol
@@Deni4Lyfe777…..maybe…….just maybe she doing this thing called…………..lying… 😱🫢🙄😂
@@hawaiianrussian1047 it's become a Tyler Perry movie on Steve Harvey 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@Deni4Lyfe777now,she saw the red flags,child,but,she thought she was at a carnival!!!!!🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
You are so beautiful. Please dont cry 😢
Girl, this man is jealous of you. Leave him.
I was in a really bad marriage for 8 years. I didn't have children with him so I really don't know why I stayed so long. It wasn't physical but it was mental and verbal. Some of my family would say it's
none of their business. I wish some would have just made it their business. It took a a real life changing event with one of my children from a previous relationship. If one of your friends are in a bad situation at least say something.
I agree! It’s sucks when people who are close turn their heads because they don’t want to get involved. Sometimes we need to feel like we have support
A girlfriend for 12 years with 3 kids and no ring? Oh no no no no no. This has got to stop ladies. If it's not heading towards marriage with something great and positive, don't hold onto it.
Thanks STEVE because this conversation is needed to all people. My Dad tried to comeback to us but dealing with my mother was the pits and we were glad when he left again. Thank God for prayers because I have always prayed a better situation and my mother died at 46yrs. I was thankful because I had peace.
Stormy need to take herself to a therapist before her life crumbles. She is still married and committing adultery. See men know these lonely women with daddy issues and take advantage of that. If her fiance loved her, he wont be with a married woman and would wait until she is divorced. I agree with Steve she needs to take some time out to love herself and find the brave stormy. Until then her life relationship decisions will not be good. I am speaking from experience. 🥰
A lot of times even if someone says something you are not ready to hear it. But when you’re heart and mind are on the same page then you can really make the move to change your situation and life. Trust God , don’t waste your life and more years. I lived it as a child and experienced with my kids father. God did and will turn something bad into good. I am a witness. Trust God, get counseling for you and your children for healing, support group or family and friends who support you. It takes a village. God bless
Sorry she kind of did it to herself… on her part why did she CONTINUE getting pregnant by the same man who’s mistreating her?!
Absolutely agree. She's not married to him so she can be working get her own place and move on with her life and have a co parenting relationship with the Dad. It says more about her by doing it this way. It is not healthy for the kids to think " My Dad is a bad man" that's not fair to him or his relationship with his kids .
I also look at life like this, you already wasted 12 years. That’s bad enough. Don’t waste another day
This is the problem with most women who are much more vulnerable to suffer greatly when they give up their body and soul to a man. It’s especially damaging for women in general long term to break free from that entanglement regarding the emotional scars left. Be careful who you give your body to especially if you’re coming from a fatherless background.
I’ll just leave this here: it’s always a good idea, not to have children when you find yourself in a toxic relationship. 👍
All I see is Steve surrounded by little girls that are hurt, him being a father to these beautiful woman. Even me just watching makes me feel like he's my father telling me what I deserve.
If you knew he was toxxic, why have a child with him, let alone 3 children.. NOT including your son..! Theyre all unplanned? come on now!
Precisely. Like 1,2,3 kids accidentally is just insane
It's a mental trap it's easier to say than do its horrible these monster break victims down on purpose 😢
@@God_chose_us A mental trap? Then the issues are with HER and she has mental issues. Not to mention we only hear her side. She was having sex and getting pregnant 3 times . If it was that bad at least go get on a form of birth control or tell him to use condoms .
@@God_chose_us Who's breaking anyone down? She is the one who has the issues yet let's put ALL the blame on the man and HE is the reason for her being a victim
i was in 2 seperate toxic relationships from the age of 18-21yrs and then when i was 23-28... so i spent 10 years in toxic relationships. im horrible at picking men... so i said im not getting into another relationship until i heal, and the next man must read his Bible everyday, Love God with all his heart, be spirit filled, and love God more than me... God sent me this man and he matches all my criteria and more, he absolutely adores me... we are planning to get married in less than a year but my fiance said he wants to marry me faster than that hopefully... God will make a way ladies... dont stay in toxic situation cuz there is a beautiful, stress free drama free life full of love light and new beginnings... dotn settle for the depressed life... when are you going to be set free by Jesus?
Leave that man!
THE FIRST WOMAN NOT MARRIED JUST HER BOYFRIEND OF 12 YEARS
and 2 kids with him. ridiculous.
I would never put up with that from a non husband
Not everyone wants to marry.
@@Janu-lj9hf Then Why she saying she " stuck' and playing victim
This video makes crying a lot because this is what I'm going through
Get out! Be strong..
Listen to Steve's words.
I feel for her because I can't treat a woman I want to marry like that cos I was train by both parents good and she's beautiful.
As a single momma and hardly no friends and what not i realized that im never alone i have god and my baby
Time to “Walk Out”!!!
Stop using your kids as an excuse to stay with a rotten father. The kids are probably blaming themselves for your misery. They’ll grow up thinking they’re responsible for everyone’s happiness and believing their own feelings don’t matter.
Good point
Society treat single mothers terribly, especially men. The fear of being a single mother is valid.
@@Janu-lj9hfNo woman should have a fear about what another man will think of her if she's single. That is simply insecurity and needing approval. Some people regardless of gender want to be single and enjoy it whether they have children or not
She has a belief system- which she clearly stated- she believes it’s better for the kids to be with their father. She’s not “using” them as an “excuse” she said it- she’s stuck between what she believes and what’s necessary. She’s scared. She simply needs support and encouragement, not chastising.
@@1ofwon The children can be with their father . She doesn't have to stay with him if she's so unhappy and stuck she embarrassed him and shames him and their relationship on worldwide TV. She has her own part in this .
She’s not a victim, she’s a volunteer.
A single red flag is enough for one to leave,not just leave but run.
Instead of being on tv, she need to be in therapy figuring out why she’s allowing this
The kids will be fine, leave his ass 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Run! Don't walk away !❤❤❤
I love Steve Harvey’s words of wisdom, he’s always right on 🎯
That's absolutely right Steve. Kids rather be away from this bad relationship, seeing chaos and it's only hurting the kids more
Steve tells Stormie to try being by herself and find herself. However, there are some people who can't be alone. I know a lot of women who are in that situation... sad... everyone is looking for love & acceptance. True love is in Jesus Christ 🙏🏻 ❤️
I love that Steve help encourage good habits for young and old adults who may not know how to do wats best. He is the best. Has he gotten a Nobel yet?!
Its so hard when you want to leave but have no money or no place to go 😞
Mungu akubariki Steve.
Steve kinda missed the ball on the first guest. This lady has sons and daughters who are seeing their father treat their mother in a degrading manner and she is not taking action. Those children are going to grow up thinking it’s okay to treat a woman this way or be treated this way as a woman. I know she does not want that for her kids. I know this episode is probably 7-8 years old. I hope this lady (and her kids) have found the peace they deserve! ❤ 🙏🏻
Boyyy! Steve has a lot of wisdom and knowledge 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️
Stormy nah hear nothing yah say 😂
Poor lady she needs strength and a great support system to take her life back. Look to God.
So true.Rest in peace to my dad,but I never remember a time my parents got along.Kids know.I wanted my parents to stay together,but as a child I think I was relieved when they no longer lived together.
Big up to our Moroccan leather poof in the decor of the studio. Thank you mister Harvey. It is just amazing❤
Ain't gon lie nut have a great support by your side is one of the best feelings !
You don't have to be in a relationship to be okay
Fun is an activity thwt you have to participate in. Joy resides within.
Thankyou Steve 💕
Leave him!!!!
The first lady. He never had good intentions from jump. I wouldn’t be surprised if he cheated and she pays most of the bills.
She won't leave
I needed this 🙌
I love Steve's advise!!
In Spanish we say “ mejor sola que mal acompañada” basically better to be alone to be in bad company. She is beautiful; her kids and she deserves better.
Thanks. My dad has an old saying...never give a man more than a year to pop the question and no more than 6 months to set the date. Leave if it doesn't happen.
@@ebonylady you’re welcome :) you deserve the world. My dad would say the same thing. Hope life has gotten better for you :)
At this point it’s not his fault anymore. You know what’s going to happen and you stay. This is all on you
Sorry but no. He probably tore down her self esteem and made her feel worthless. It’s easier said than done
@@kaoshi_kutie Again that's a HER issue . No one can make you feel anyway. If she is filled with self loathing or has no self love or respect then she will do exactly what she's done...Stay and think this is normal . Why....because of HER issues not his if he even has any. We only hear her side
She’s what 3-4 kids in..I feel it’s harder for a man to step to you because of us women have too many kids. I am praying for her
I wish I had someone to tell me that 8 years ago😢.
I'm still healing
I was literally about to write that down.
I've known this for a long time. Kids would rather come from a broken home than live in a broken home.
When mum finally kicked my father out of the house, me n my brother helped Mum pack his bags. It was the best move/decision mum ever made. Homes Been good sense my father hasn't been in the house.
He is a narcissistic abusive drunk.
I don't drink because of him.
If I ever become a dad, I don't want to ever put my children through what me n my brother and mum went through, i want be loving a supportive for my children. Good thing I had great mentoring.
My younger brother is a dad of 2, he doesn't drink, and loves being a dad and is loving a supportive for his kids.
Our father checked out the moment we were born. He's loss
Amen....get out now. You do you my lady.
I appreciate such ... in order to help the struggle of women learning to know selfworth ... is very important. Strength to us!🙏💃🏽💃🏻
Great advice Steeve❤
I had a one child with this person one day he went to sleep I walked out his life with my child on my hip never look back never have more children why have 3 more if the relationship is not working get out
12 years with a boyfriend!? YOU are the problem. LEAVE. stop making excuses to stay. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. and how do you expect him to if even you can't love you?
She saw red flags and kept having kids. That makes no sense. She needs to take accountability and control.
She picked wrong twice, not one time, but two times. That’s a pattern that needs to be addressed.
None of these women are leaving they talk a good game
Where can we watch the full episode, please? @SteveTVShow
If that beautiful was my wife everything she should say to me I would be like "yes Queen mam boo"
It's so hurting to be in an health marriage 😢
This made me tear up
he did not marry her. thats a red flag. Still she had more kids by him.
Stormy is a very intelligent and beautiful woman...... The way she's not taking this divorce to her heart instead she's moving on...... I can see why she keeps getting into relationships........
This is because she's beautiful and men might be approaching her here and there ...... Plus she has daddy issues which is making it worse
Yes. Kids would rather be from a broken home than live in a broken home I grew up with both parents. I would rather not have. I kept asking my mum why she stayed, and she said it was for us. I know in that time it was common to stay for kids, but the damage is so far reaching. I really struggled with having a desire for marriage, or a desire for any relationship. My faith in God and therapy has helped me, so I am open to it now though it takes a lot to get over that fear of relationship. Being single is definitely so easy for me and I've been single for all my 38 years. Now that I have met someone from church that is interested, I have really been praying for grace to not have fear and run, but just to take time to learn him as a friend before getting into a relationship.
all these ladies think steve is right!!🤣🤣🤣🤣 he gotta be a pastor
Love doesn't hurt you 😘🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
If my mom didn't leave my dad would ,he will always tell us if someone dint want to be with you dont beg ,dont stay leave, dont be miserable for no one else if they dont want to work on the relationship dont waste your time period. That came from my dad not my mom
Why am i crying 😭 ❤
the second woman is clueless, in one breath she says she is chasing a man, the next she is giggling because she is too ashamed to tell Steve she is already engaged and living with the guy (while still married to another dude). Ladies educate yourself, have a stable profession before you move into a man's home. Do not live together because you are cheap or trauma bonded to men through $3x. Live together because you love each other and because you are creating a stable and safe home together. This girl needs to grow up rather than pr0$titut3 herself. Sad.
Great video Steve
I truly hate staying in a bad marriage mainly because my kids see how little I value myself and I just PRAY that they don’t become like me, I’m not being a good example and I hate that, but I definitely feel stuck too.
...stop collecting red flags...
Desperate Shelly be like 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Amen the break up sometimes is the blessing❤Follow Gods guidance
1yr red flags....stayed 11 more years ....do your children a favour and leave! It's better to be alone and happy, than lonely with someone.
↪️Sometimes you've been in a situation for so long you don't even know where the door is.
↪️"Kids rather be from a broken home than live in a broken home". I come from one and 💯agree: we hear see and feel things.
↪️For me There's no cohabitation before marriage I feel like it's the door for eternal girlfriend/fiancée title
Ummm…..↪️sometimes women will create bs stories that always revolve around making there grown ass selves victims because they know other women will just believe whatever they say and never call them out on their bs
↪️how is Steve Harvey’s show always full of grown ass women just trashing their other halves on national television and other the audience is always full of man hating incel women pandering to her lol
↪️all we have to do is switch it to a guy who DARES to go on national television and bash his other half and complain about his wife if 12 YEARS and all of a sudden watch women switch up they energy and be like “ well you chose her and am still with her so she can’t be that bad! 🙄” 🙄🙄
@@ForMySoulSistas ….yet anytime a man dares to villainize his wife all of a sudden these same women be like “ well you chose to be with her and still with her so she must not be that bad! 🙄” 🙄😬😂
Thank God ♥️✝️🙏🏻 in India 🇮🇳 we don’t change partners and our culture support the ladies and we love to remain as a family . Thank you Jesus Christ 🙏🏻✝️🎊