Think about it ladies. If he's getting the BEST of you without treating you right, he's getting the best of you whilst breadcrumbing you and you're treating him as a very important person whilst he's giving you the bare minimum...Why would he change? You'll say to him he needs to treat you better but if he can treat you poorly and still get the best of what you have to offer then what incentive inspires him to do better. He's already getting your best. He can treat you like dirt, breadcrumb, ghost, manipulate, use you and give you his a$$ to kiss and still receive VIP treatment from you. As a former pickme, if I can change anyone can change. Choosing you first inspires change. Loss inspires change.
No seriously. U may not be aware at first but you are doing yourself a disservice every time u accept that. And your gut is speaking to you, listen to it & take your power back. It is only a matter of time if you know this just haven’t grasped it. Speaking from experience. My ex did this to me, but at first the love bombing was too REAL. Be strong ladies, there’s so much more for you, start with YOU. Tap back into reality!
High value women do not like it when men are mysterious & don't text back for days. We value men who are polite, caring and authentic. Mystery and being nonchalant attracts men because men like to chase. They like to hunt. It's their nature. That, however, is not a woman's nature. We cannot stand to chase or hunt. How many women do you know want to go hunting? Almost none. We put our heart into relationships, so it's difficult for us to believe we've been lied to and manipulated. We want to think the best of a man. Thank you for revealing the truth about how a lot of men really are. I'll be much more aware now.
I sympathize with you, but a lot of women do the same thing, so it goes both ways. It’s bad enough we are already in a pandemic of weak men that are not guided at a young age how to treat a woman or even given the slightest truth on what attracts them. I agree with the message of stop trying to fix other people or mold them into being who you want them to be. Women also say they want one thing then Chase the other and this video is a great example of that. Realistically women enjoy the chase and if a man is too easy or desperate and don’t fit a certain prerequisite, he’s automatically ruled out.
Ace I went on a date and the man ignored me by using his phone and watching videos . So I mentioned hello I’m sitting next to you remember. He said yes I see you. Ace I grabbed my handbag and clicked my heels and sachet my sexy self away . He hollering where you going I said I talk to u later I kept going.🤣😂🤣
I hope you didn’t actually talk to him later and that was the end of that for life. Hope you blocked him and deleted his number once you got in the car. That man I bet 💯% watches manophere/red pill content and he wanted you to chase him because he sees women as less than. He knew exactly what he was doing. He sees himself as the prize and wanted to see if you were desperate enough to tolerate it by being the “nice girl” you went on one date with him and he was already acting like that can you imagine how he would treat you down the line if you got with hum. We need to teach men that when they act like children for whatever reason that we won’t tolerate it. We wont yell …scream cry … we won’t write then send out long text messages with a thesis intro body and conclusion telling the man how he’s hurting us (he knows already he just don’t care) we won’t do none of those things. We just walk away for good. We are not afraid to be single and wait until and IF we find someone who is consistent and values us like we deserve.
I went bowling with my boyfriend and the woman next to us had been flirting with my bf and had too much to drink. Her husband just ignored her. I finally bowled the last 3 frames that were all strikes. I am a lousy bowler and turned around and yelled “yay”. They were leaning into each other in deep convo. He never looked up. I kick myself for not packing my back and getting and Uber. I really do.
@Chayla417 I got the t-shirt for that one, so I'll tell you. Every time that you think about calling him to see how he's doing because he's on your mind, remember how you felt when you left. Remember how many conversations you had telling him how you felt, and he didn't care enough to stop hurting you. Remember how lonely you felt in a relationship with him. Remember that every time you are thinking about the wonderful times, you are thinking about the delusion you created. He was never that dude. Come back to reality and think, I spent years like this. Do I really want to spend another year feeling like this.
These toxic men are fully aware of their behaviour towards you, I’ve heard them brag about it. I wish every woman would understand that he is not doing you a favour by dating you, make him work for you, you are worth it. Don’t chase, it’s disgusting!
Many women just care waaaayyyy too much for men. The women don’t care/love themselves but hope a man’s love will fill up what is missing in their lives. It’s a vicious cycle going from one man to another searching for love. The love is already inside them they have to dig deep to find it.
Ladies you deserve 5 course meals. Why are you settling for breadcrumbs? Go buy your 5 course meals for yourself. You're full,whole , blessed and complete all by yourself
@@JustMalcolm914 I am learning that men have hard times also. Men you are all females in your age range in your area are made for you. Parents raise children to be independent, so you get boss ladies, butch women. Men need to take more time getting to know if a female is a mental match before he invests time in a female. Men have to give females time to adjust to the gender roles they are supposed to want. The bedroom is about two people not one person. If you are not in love with her after at least 3 months in, men, move on.
Almost 6 mins in and I feel embarrassed for myself! Truth hurts but I needed to hear this and thank you for the tough love!!! Needed it badly. ☀️ Thank you for your content 🙏
Yes that’s tough love! I stayed 20 years believing it would get better. I walk out being grateful for the lessons because the most important lesson I got from my husband is to love myself.
The part of my spirit that allowed me to do it WAS having an absintee father and a mother who put her man b4 her children. I watched her love him, looking for him at bars late at night. Never gave us hugs, kisses, or even said I love you. Not ONCE. It stems from mental, emotional, and psychological abuse that has to be overcome. I thought back to my younger self and asked, "Why did you accept that??" Now I understand why and KNOW MY WORTH!! Ladies don't be hard on yourself. This happens to men too. It has to be undone and it takes time. You'll get there 🥰
Totally can relate to the feeling of abandonment. Mine wasn’t that she put men before us, we never even saw her with one. It was that the men in our family come before us women. My brother can do no wrong and I’m the worst person when I don’t do what she wants. It’s a healing process for sure but we got this!
@@slayyedhairandbeauty888 Yes brothers! You just triggered that for me. My brother was definitely treated better. He had No chores and more treats. Also had to witness his father, my stepfather, tell him I love you. Never said it to the other children and moms said it to none of the children.
@@nuckingfuts3017 I’m sorry I’m just now seeing this. Yep. I know this all too well. It’s a healing process for sure but we got this. Cut off the family, friends and spouses if you see this same behavior and put yourself first.
Nobody wants somebody overly available. And a woman who is naive maybe will fall for the waiting around for him to text back thing, but trust me..she will come to resent you eventually and finally start looking for a more decent man who is more consistent. So that is just temporary.
The worse are the ones who call and text EVERYDAY. It boils down to how they treat you, because it’ll come out in some way. Men have to be careful too because karma will come! Also, it’s dangerous! Some of these women will hurt your azz. I speak to my 12 yo son now about treating young ladies with respect, teach these boys to STOP playing these games! Start there…
Even the overly available ones who put the work in for months will f you over once they have your heart. I don’t pay attention to mysterious men, I switch off. The good, consistent, not in your league looks wise, stable and appears to have his ish together can still ghost you due to his own ego and insecurities.
My sons father is just like this!!! The average Woman wouldn’t know because he puts on a good front. It’s not until you’re invested in him, is when he will switch like a light switch! Soul crushing! Kept me stuck for YEARS!!! Then would appear to change over and over, but nothing ever really changed or was consistent. Did good for 3 months MAX and back to the same old patterns. Only learned how to lie, cheat and manipulate better. No real change though. It’s sickening because I know a couple Women who think he’s this prize and I’m the crazy baby mama who doesn’t appreciate a good man. If they only knew the real him. 🤦♀️
@@kellithomas9080 sorry you went through all that. They tell us to choose better, if only it were that simple. It’s so hard to know who to trust and invest your heart and time into. The others will learn for themselves don’t worry about them. Take care of you and your child…his loss. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you little brother I just walked away from a toxic man like that he was a Dismissive avodent and they are known for that.I wish you would do a talk on attachment styles. But thanks to you I took my power back it was more like bird seeds that I was getting.
I literally went thru the same with an avoidant. he feed me bread crumbs and did the no contact thing for a month. Truly the most confusing and stressful relationship I've ever been on
Wow… he’s so on point with everything he’s saying. Men will manipulate you until the well runs dry, smh. Matching Energy is so easy and intentional. Ppl put effort and prioritize whatever it is they want to.
My question is why are so many men damaged, emotionally unavailable, opportunist, users, abusers, deceitful, emotionally manipulative? Videos focus on fixing women (which is great) however we need more men to focus on men learning the art of self discipline and self reflection.
This! Like it’s great men are giving us the “game”, but they really need to start focusing on teaching their own (men) to be better people and deal with their emotional shit. It’s literally affecting everyone.
Ace you’re right. I too was guilty of some of the things you spoke about…but not anymore. There comes a time in your life when you take a step back and see the relationship for what it really is… All I have to say is ladies , if the tables were turned would he tolerate breadcrumbs from you????? Food for thought, think about it.
We were together in our younger years. I was his 1st love . End up getting back together, man ol man. I don't know wtf he is, and we were together 6 months. I lost shit messing with him, we were into it, so freaking much, I finally said f that and broke up with him on Christmas day.... he doesn't have any friends, he is disrespectful to his mom and children. When the 5 to 6 months came in, his true colors showed, and he ended up putting him hands on me. I'm like, yeah, game over.... he started thinking he could control me, and because I did not play by his rules, he hit me, and I walked. I learned so much from this video that this ish will never happen again moving on ..... thanks, Ace, for the great understanding of all red flags to look for in a so called man.
I’ll be the first to say, this happened to me! I finally said this is it, detached and kept it that way! Not proud of it, simply acknowledging it. Thanks for this message, there are a lot of naive ladies that need to hear this. I wish I heard it beforehand. On to other news, I’m not into the lack of availability, it used to work when I was much younger. Grow up, if you’re interested, show it or move on for me.
I really can appreciate the honesty of this content. I feel as a woman it allows me to take a good look at myself to recognize what areas in my life require self accountability and self improvement. However, what concerns me is the constant self reflection that we as women are told we must implement to become better and whole. But there is rarely any conversations for the men who treat us bad. Do they not have any accountability for mistreating women or is it, oh well that's just who they are? It seems a little one sided.
This!!! There are very few and between. Places for men to unlearn this behavior. And majority of them are based in religion that only teaches them they are “the head” and they have never been a leader. And then when women do stand up, hold her own, date and move on we are labeled too masculine.
You seriously know these men to a t every word is these narcissistic sociopath men who will always only give the bare minimum and expect the world in return . This hit my soul thank you
We were taught to protect and care for bullshit men. Taught to see the best in them, to nurture them, raise them up, give them our all. And these men know how good we are to them and they might breadcrumb us acknowledgement but then treat us like we are no good for them, that we drive them to be stressed and abusive to whatever extent. We are the reason they are so wrong but... they were wrong to begin with and we kept offering redemption at our own expense. It has GOT to stop. Man babies gotta decide what they want and we gotta know where we can be safe and not victimized by our kindness
Be a better selector it’s clear you are attracted to men with these traits, perhaps that’s all you ever knew, but anyone who’s watched this content today can’t make any excuses after, women do the same thing so people just need to be better in general. We need to take accountability and show the younger generations an example of what healthy love looks like.
Loneliness? More like lack of self love, self control and self worth. Self esteem and self care are so much more than affirmations, spas and spiritual mantras. Been where you are at….
Whew. This is my first time seeing your podcast and you didn’t have to smack me around like this Sir 😭🤧 You literally described this man to a T and I’m sitting here like wtf?!! Lol
Both of my exes did this months into the relationship. I fell for the "I'm busy excuse." Turns out they were both talking to another woman. My love life is a wreck and nonexistent and I'm so close to giving up. I'm crushing on a guy who was actually taken and I'm doing anything I can to distract myself. I'm praying so desperately that God would take him out of my mind but it's not happening. Instead, I'm just getting even more angry at myself for being the way I am. I feel so left out as I see everyone around me getting married and starting a family. Even they can't understand why I'm still single.
Booooooyyyyy!!!! You betta talk about it!!!! I’m here for it. 🤷🏽♀️ I told that clown 🤡 exactly what you are saying. The boy couldn’t match my energy dismissed. I love every word that you’re saying any woman who click off this video gotta be delusional. These men are on it playing games. I give you the same energy you giving me.
29:00 It's either he's doing that or worse, villifying you by asking you if "all you want to do is hurt him/take advantage of him?" Or the "be honest with me, have you cheated while we were together at any point?" Now you're placed in a position to always have to prove yourself and work to earn his trust on things you've never done but indirectly being accused of. He's just 'asking' you if that's what you did for reassurance x1000 times over. Repetition is part of the manipulation because it's purpose is to wear you down emotionally and psychologically, it's sickening
STOP 😭 I cried laughing when you starting picking up bread crumbs and smackin’ on em. Your personality is infectious, natural storyteller. P.S. It’s at 6:46 🍞
If you ain't consistent with what you say you want why should I give my energy and time to fill you in my life , it's full enough trying to keep my peace together thank you ACE
He is 55 and has done all those breadcrumbing ghosting etc they never had words for it when I was in my younger years s I’m learning so much so thank you 🙏. I will no what not to put up with the next one ! Yes I’m done with him now ! He’s done it to many times We were teenage sweetheart hearts and got back together after 37 years some men never grow up 😮 he will get a shock when he reaches out again 😊onwards and upwards ❤️✌️
Ace I personally believe how better to learn about a man's behavior than from a man . The thing I can say about me is that although some have tried the breadcrumb thing with me I HAVE NOT STUCK AROUND for a long time for them to keep doing it . If you are dating for purpose (leading to marriage breadcrumbs will not lead you there ) .
Ace, I like the way you deliver this message, you speak passionately, keep it real and humorous. Thank you for using your platform to empower individuals 🙏
Damn, this hits home. Going through the pain now and trying to heal. It's better to stay single forever Edit: you are funny. You had me laughing and crying all at once.
Right sis I want to believe their are some good men out there I haven't met any and from what I'm seeing the rest of our sisters are having a hard time Makes you scared to date.
Ace!! I listen to you all the time but today! Man, it totally hit different today. Feel like all the mess I’ve dealt with over the years was explained through root cause in this one video.
You got me so strong out in these streets these men hate me 😂😂 when they see me with my next man they will know he is everything they aren’t. I am gentle and sweet with the cut off. I silence out the matrix of bs. Thank you God bless you I started with self love, added my empress confidence, and end with Ace law. Out her in peace❣️❣️❣️
I have to admit usually when men come on to speak to us women about these issues I find it hard to receive the message because it seem like it’s a lot of anger behind it but with your message it’s totally different because I can feel the love coming behind it. You seem to genuinely care for us. This is why I can listen to your message and actually receive what you’re putting down.❤
An overly available man because the only women that like that is women who like playing games. I’ve been played enough in my lifetime and my philosophy has always been: There are a lot of women out there they wanna play games but don’t play games with women who tell you up front that they don’t wanna play games, so the first sign of game playing I’m out.
Thank you SO much!!! I needed to hear this! I already started setting boundaries but this is confirmation I’m doing the right thing. Doing the right thing isn’t always comfortable but it’s so important
What about 13 and a 7 year old! 😥 the signs were there. Now he’s on a quest to find his wife. He switches every few months, but no real change. God told him I was his wife in August 🤣 now he’s searching for “The one” but still doing porn, still having sex with his flings, still not being real 🤦♀️ going to church and in ministry classes, but still doing the same thing. What Wife?? 🤭🤣 please
Your response to the question regarding how you respond to a guy who tries to hang out with you after breadcrumbing was right on point. Some of us do think that way and that’s what keeps us in bondage.
Chile thanku!! im talking about .......the holy spirit in u just put me in my place . The lord told me to stay away but i didnt wanna come off like i was better . But the lord said " my child , u ARE BETTER " . im sad i wanted him to b my husband.😢💔👁️
I'm am a 62 year old widow who knows what love from a healthy man looks and feels like. I also desire marriage again but the people in the world are so corrupt that if your discernment is low because you're too lazy to seek God, you will keep meeting the same demon embodied in different men/women. A man who approaches me has only one time (if he said he'd call) to miss calling me without following up in a timely manner explaining why, for me to dismiss him as a suitor. If he can't keep his word over something that simple, he's not going to keep it with things of importance. Younger women have set the bar so low when it comes to how much they are willing to tolerate that most men think they can get away with bad behavior from all women. Be willing to be happy alone. Cultivate your own life with joy then the right person has the space to step in and add to that joy. Avoid everything else.
Ace, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I needed to hear this tonight. I was sitting here for 2 days feeling like a damn fool for being with a man for years who just clowned me. I needed to wake the fuck up because he's the damn clown!
Amen Brother 🙌, even after he keeps putting his feelings or putting his business on you, and threatening you that he is going to put you in a hole, like your life doesn't matter. Just do it, because my higher power will always protect me.,...even after 12 years
I am prefere reliable. He does not have to answer right away, always but most of the time.. But he starts and finishes a conversation. And he comes back when he says so. Respect and action and accountability. A man can do roleplay once in a while and plays bad boy on a nice date.Thats it!
At THIS time in my life… I prefer the more available one!! In all aspects… But like you said, I been there a time or two with the not so available guys, NOW… At My big age, healed version of me, boundaries setting self… give me the more available man ANYDAY!! 💯
I gotta disagree about the ‘mystery man with the choppy communication’ tho. If he’s not consistent, my assumption is that he’s juggling women or not that interested 🤷🏽♀️ Genuine interest- in my humble opinion - could easily be shown thru daily communication without coming across as overly available or desperate. And I’m DEFINITELY not being intimate with mystery dude. If anything, it’s delayed until his interest is consistent over time. #thatsall 👸🏽
I needed a father or big brother like you !!! I left the marriage I was bread crumbed in! I accepted the minimum and ask for nothing. I’m soooo in tune with myself now !!!
Think about it ladies. If he's getting the BEST of you without treating you right, he's getting the best of you whilst breadcrumbing you and you're treating him as a very important person whilst he's giving you the bare minimum...Why would he change? You'll say to him he needs to treat you better but if he can treat you poorly and still get the best of what you have to offer then what incentive inspires him to do better. He's already getting your best. He can treat you like dirt, breadcrumb, ghost, manipulate, use you and give you his a$$ to kiss and still receive VIP treatment from you. As a former pickme, if I can change anyone can change. Choosing you first inspires change. Loss inspires change.
Now thisssss….
Well said… drop the mic!
Thisssss!!!!
I'm not having no.baby by no ugly dude just because he can treat me better I want someone I'm attractive to and will treat me well
@@blessedchildofgod9112you sound just as toxic & self-centered.
Exactly 💯 Let's leave these type of boys behind!
Having very high standards protects you from falling for narcs.
Ohhh not necessarily
Sorry Ms. but no it don’t.
Yes......
@@LogicallySpeaking_Real high standards not fake ones I’ll lower my boundaries because I like you!
Actually, narc's look for people with high standards so they can break them
Breadcrumbing works...temporarily. then the anxiety outweighs your dignity and you lose so much energy, you simply give up.
No seriously. U may not be aware at first but you are doing yourself a disservice every time u accept that. And your gut is speaking to you, listen to it & take your power back. It is only a matter of time if you know this just haven’t grasped it. Speaking from experience. My ex did this to me, but at first the love bombing was too REAL.
Be strong ladies, there’s so much more for you, start with YOU. Tap back into reality!
So true
You described what I have been struggling to put into words, thank you ❤
😳
Simply put-THANK YOU MESSAGE HEARD and UNDERSTOOD!
No contact works ever time, don’t let that man treat you like that, just block-delete goodbye 👋 move on. Peace of mind ✌🏾
No contact is so important to do and understand. 28 days of no contact!
High value women do not like it when men are mysterious & don't text back for days. We value men who are polite, caring and authentic. Mystery and being nonchalant attracts men because men like to chase. They like to hunt. It's their nature. That, however, is not a woman's nature. We cannot stand to chase or hunt. How many women do you know want to go hunting? Almost none. We put our heart into relationships, so it's difficult for us to believe we've been lied to and manipulated. We want to think the best of a man. Thank you for revealing the truth about how a lot of men really are. I'll be much more aware now.
thank you , it sounds toxic af
Lmaoo bullshit. Some of your fellow women still rather toxic men then decent ones
If that was the case then why are toxic men still attracting women If apparently all of you are so high value
Well stated
I sympathize with you, but a lot of women do the same thing, so it goes both ways. It’s bad enough we are already in a pandemic of weak men that are not guided at a young age how to treat a woman or even given the slightest truth on what attracts them. I agree with the message of stop trying to fix other people or mold them into being who you want them to be. Women also say they want one thing then Chase the other and this video is a great example of that. Realistically women enjoy the chase and if a man is too easy or desperate and don’t fit a certain prerequisite, he’s automatically ruled out.
Ace I went on a date and the man ignored me by using his phone and watching videos . So I mentioned hello I’m sitting next to you remember. He said yes I see you. Ace I grabbed my handbag and clicked my heels and sachet my sexy self away . He hollering where you going I said I talk to u later I kept going.🤣😂🤣
I hope you didn’t actually talk to him later and that was the end of that for life. Hope you blocked him and deleted his number once you got in the car.
That man I bet 💯% watches manophere/red pill content and he wanted you to chase him because he sees women as less than. He knew exactly what he was doing. He sees himself as the prize and wanted to see if you were desperate enough to tolerate it by being the “nice girl” you went on one date with him and he was already acting like that can you imagine how he would treat you down the line if you got with hum. We need to teach men that when they act like children for whatever reason that we won’t tolerate it. We wont yell …scream cry … we won’t write then send out long text messages with a thesis intro body and conclusion telling the man how he’s hurting us (he knows already he just don’t care) we won’t do none of those things. We just walk away for good. We are not afraid to be single and wait until and IF we find someone who is consistent and values us like we deserve.
👏👏👏👏💪🏽
Equally Yoked , not Bob the Builder..❤
@@Bri-nc8yp I only said I’ll talk to you later to keep him hoping. lol . Yes I did block him and didn’t talk to him again.
I went bowling with my boyfriend and the woman next to us had been flirting with my bf and had too much to drink. Her husband just ignored her. I finally bowled the last 3 frames that were all strikes. I am a lousy bowler and turned around and yelled “yay”. They were leaning into each other in deep convo. He never looked up. I kick myself for not packing my back and getting and Uber. I really do.
They are going to give you exactly what you accept. You teach people how to treat you!
Right
💯 Facts! Toxic people know who to target. They can almost smell it on people.
Amen 🙏🏾
And they teach us how to love ourselves
Just left a relationship 2 weeks ago after being bread crumbed for 5 years… that boy been showed me who he was! Good shit Ace 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Felt this one.
Girl me too well I’m three months in after two years 🤦🏾♀️. He showed me everyday, how did I ignore it? I’m not that dumb 😢
How do you even… get back to you, after such a long pattern and time with someone else.
Asking for myself sis.
@Chayla417 I got the t-shirt for that one, so I'll tell you. Every time that you think about calling him to see how he's doing because he's on your mind, remember how you felt when you left. Remember how many conversations you had telling him how you felt, and he didn't care enough to stop hurting you. Remember how lonely you felt in a relationship with him. Remember that every time you are thinking about the wonderful times, you are thinking about the delusion you created. He was never that dude. Come back to reality and think, I spent years like this. Do I really want to spend another year feeling like this.
Well done girl. I'm proud of you.
These toxic men are fully aware of their behaviour towards you, I’ve heard them brag about it. I wish every woman would understand that he is not doing you a favour by dating you, make him work for you, you are worth it. Don’t chase, it’s disgusting!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
“You been in a down season ever since you met him”. Damn I felt that.
When did he say that?
And you can't even ask him for help since you want to prove that you not there for the money
Yes....me too
Many women just care waaaayyyy too much for men. The women don’t care/love themselves but hope a man’s love will fill up what is missing in their lives. It’s a vicious cycle going from one man to another searching for love. The love is already inside them they have to dig deep to find it.
This is exactly me you spoke about
Sometimes a woman needs to know when to let go
... and pay attention to red flags When we recognize red flags, we need to stop rationalizing them
It’s sad, really. I know 65 year old men that have done this all of their miserable lives.
Yep they do it because it works like a charm.
Pathetic
Yep I'm 59 and so was he Bread crumbs no more like birdseed I walked away 5 months ago gave that nut 2 years they will waste your time.
Tuh!!! Just got done with one 🥴
65😢
Ladies you deserve 5 course meals. Why are you settling for breadcrumbs?
Go buy your 5 course meals for yourself. You're full,whole , blessed and complete all by yourself
He’s giving the big brother we all need 🫶🏽
Listening to this makes me want to stay single for the rest of my life, just easier that way.
It really is easier and more peaceful.
We have too. All of these “gurus” are teaching us that men are not worth our time and body. It’s too many games to play and maneuver.
@Outof_thebleu so how you think we feel
@@JustMalcolm914 I am learning that men have hard times also.
Men you are all females in your age range in your area are made for you.
Parents raise children to be independent, so you get boss ladies, butch women.
Men need to take more time getting to know if a female is a mental match before he invests time in a female.
Men have to give females time to adjust to the gender roles they are supposed to want.
The bedroom is about two people not one person.
If you are not in love with her after at least 3 months in, men, move on.
@@bh2480 Basically nail on the head
Almost 6 mins in and I feel embarrassed for myself! Truth hurts but I needed to hear this and thank you for the tough love!!! Needed it badly. ☀️ Thank you for your content 🙏
Factz
@kreestyle8986 right! literally 6 minutes in 🥴🤦🏽♀️
Truth hurts but we standing on business in our black airforces all 2024!
Yes that’s tough love! I stayed 20 years believing it would get better. I walk out being grateful for the lessons because the most important lesson I got from my husband is to love myself.
Same here...
The part of my spirit that allowed me to do it WAS having an absintee father and a mother who put her man b4 her children. I watched her love him, looking for him at bars late at night. Never gave us hugs, kisses, or even said I love you. Not ONCE. It stems from mental, emotional, and psychological abuse that has to be overcome. I thought back to my younger self and asked, "Why did you accept that??" Now I understand why and KNOW MY WORTH!! Ladies don't be hard on yourself. This happens to men too. It has to be undone and it takes time. You'll get there 🥰
Totally can relate to the feeling of abandonment. Mine wasn’t that she put men before us, we never even saw her with one. It was that the men in our family come before us women. My brother can do no wrong and I’m the worst person when I don’t do what she wants. It’s a healing process for sure but we got this!
@@slayyedhairandbeauty888 Yes brothers! You just triggered that for me. My brother was definitely treated better. He had No chores and more treats. Also had to witness his father, my stepfather, tell him I love you. Never said it to the other children and moms said it to none of the children.
😢😢😢😢 we love u 💖💖💜💜
@@user-hp5lr1nj4o 🥰🥰
@@nuckingfuts3017 I’m sorry I’m just now seeing this. Yep. I know this all too well. It’s a healing process for sure but we got this. Cut off the family, friends and spouses if you see this same behavior and put yourself first.
All of this is the truth!! I’m done dating men that mysterious. I will take the man that responds and wants me around all the time!!
Unavailable men get left…QUICKLY!
Amen!
A word.
Damn, this message felt like an ass whooping 😂😭 I needed to hear this today. Thank you 🙏🏼
Yes....Ace did that.😊..
❤
If you’re accepting breadcrumbs and trying to change him, you’re codependent. Learn it.
Yes! 🎉
Love yourself and walk away. “Queen the f… up and walk the f…out!”
The men he describes are predators.🤯
Not 'Taking off your CROWN, to put on your KNEE-PADS'... 😂😂😂
Nobody wants somebody overly available. And a woman who is naive maybe will fall for the waiting around for him to text back thing, but trust me..she will come to resent you eventually and finally start looking for a more decent man who is more consistent. So that is just temporary.
You mean overly unavailable
@@Moonstonee212Both. Both are bad.
Interesting.. about both can be bad. No matter how you slice it we all got to be careful dating.. there's a lot of fakeness out there.
The worse are the ones who call and text EVERYDAY. It boils down to how they treat you, because it’ll come out in some way. Men have to be careful too because karma will come! Also, it’s dangerous! Some of these women will hurt your azz. I speak to my 12 yo son now about treating young ladies with respect, teach these boys to STOP playing these games! Start there…
It's comical that a woman has the nerve to tell a man to stop playing games.
Yes the ones who call and text you all day, everyday and ask to see you and then disappear
@@nunnallyai exactly! Like what was the point? If there’s no action, end the contact.
Even the overly available ones who put the work in for months will f you over once they have your heart. I don’t pay attention to mysterious men, I switch off. The good, consistent, not in your league looks wise, stable and appears to have his ish together can still ghost you due to his own ego and insecurities.
Real talk, u got to keep your head on a swivel
My sons father is just like this!!! The average Woman wouldn’t know because he puts on a good front. It’s not until you’re invested in him, is when he will switch like a light switch! Soul crushing! Kept me stuck for YEARS!!! Then would appear to change over and over, but nothing ever really changed or was consistent. Did good for 3 months MAX and back to the same old patterns. Only learned how to lie, cheat and manipulate better. No real change though. It’s sickening because I know a couple Women who think he’s this prize and I’m the crazy baby mama who doesn’t appreciate a good man. If they only knew the real him. 🤦♀️
@@kellithomas9080 sorry you went through all that. They tell us to choose better, if only it were that simple. It’s so hard to know who to trust and invest your heart and time into. The others will learn for themselves don’t worry about them. Take care of you and your child…his loss. Wishing you all the best.
@@kellithomas9080Been there & done that. We must take care of ourselves at all costs. Stay strong Sis! ❤ bc we’ve got this! 💯💯💯
Especially them ugly ones fr 😂
What a slap in the face 😢😅 I definitely believed his sob story and tears. Worlds best actor. True colors showed at 4 months by month 6 I was DONE!!!
Definitely a problem when they're overly available at thr beginning and then switch gears a month afterwards
Thank you little brother I just walked away from a toxic man like that he was a Dismissive avodent and they are known for that.I wish you would do a talk on attachment styles. But thanks to you I took my power back it was more like bird seeds that I was getting.
I literally went thru the same with an avoidant. he feed me bread crumbs and did the no contact thing for a month. Truly the most confusing and stressful relationship I've ever been on
Dismissive and avoidant is accurate. Attachment style is key.
That is so damn sad that people have to be this guarded these days
Thank you Ace. Your realness is needed in these savage times. I listen just so I remember what not to do!
A guy tried to “breadcrumb” me. Long story short I played the game accordingly
Same. Now he begging for forgiveness #Bye #MyWorth🏆
Me to!! 🎉🎉🎉 shoutout to us
FACTS! Now he mad cause he saw me with another dude. Naw baby Im a 5 star restaurant type of chick 😂😂😂 BYE BOY
Wow… he’s so on point with everything he’s saying. Men will manipulate you until the well runs dry, smh. Matching Energy is so easy and intentional. Ppl put effort and prioritize whatever it is they want to.
My question is why are so many men damaged, emotionally unavailable, opportunist, users, abusers, deceitful, emotionally manipulative? Videos focus on fixing women (which is great) however we need more men to focus on men learning the art of self discipline and self reflection.
This! Like it’s great men are giving us the “game”, but they really need to start focusing on teaching their own (men) to be better people and deal with their emotional shit. It’s literally affecting everyone.
@@KaimaVixen LITERALLY!!
Ladies-learn the game, let the dustballs bread crumb, fry fish, and whatever else….just do it far from me 💅🏾
Didn’t want to cry during this message but I did!!! ❤ Tough Love
Aweweeeee I hope you are well and better.
I did as well. 💪🏿⚘️❤️
Ace you’re right. I too was guilty of some of the things you spoke about…but not anymore. There comes a time in your life when you take a step back and see the relationship for what it really is… All I have to say is ladies , if the tables were turned would he tolerate breadcrumbs from you????? Food for thought, think about it.
We were together in our younger years. I was his 1st love . End up getting back together, man ol man. I don't know wtf he is, and we were together 6 months. I lost shit messing with him, we were into it, so freaking much, I finally said f that and broke up with him on Christmas day.... he doesn't have any friends, he is disrespectful to his mom and children. When the 5 to 6 months came in, his true colors showed, and he ended up putting him hands on me. I'm like, yeah, game over.... he started thinking he could control me, and because I did not play by his rules, he hit me, and I walked. I learned so much from this video that this ish will never happen again moving on ..... thanks, Ace, for the great understanding of all red flags to look for in a so called man.
I’ll be the first to say, this happened to me! I finally said this is it, detached and kept it that way! Not proud of it, simply acknowledging it. Thanks for this message, there are a lot of naive ladies that need to hear this. I wish I heard it beforehand.
On to other news, I’m not into the lack of availability, it used to work when I was much younger. Grow up, if you’re interested, show it or move on for me.
I really can appreciate the honesty of this content. I feel as a woman it allows me to take a good look at myself to recognize what areas in my life require self accountability and self improvement. However, what concerns me is the constant self reflection that we as women are told we must implement to become better and whole. But there is rarely any conversations for the men who treat us bad. Do they not have any accountability for mistreating women or is it, oh well that's just who they are? It seems a little one sided.
This!!! There are very few and between. Places for men to unlearn this behavior. And majority of them are based in religion that only teaches them they are “the head” and they have never been a leader. And then when women do stand up, hold her own, date and move on we are labeled too masculine.
i love how angry you get to make a point. I'm a new subscriber. thank you for your realness.
It’s True. Some women (including me) like the drama and the toxic passion. Up and down feelings, chasing, love bombing crap. Sick and I want it gone.
You seriously know these men to a t every word is these narcissistic sociopath men who will always only give the bare minimum and expect the world in return . This hit my soul thank you
We were taught to protect and care for bullshit men. Taught to see the best in them, to nurture them, raise them up, give them our all. And these men know how good we are to them and they might breadcrumb us acknowledgement but then treat us like we are no good for them, that we drive them to be stressed and abusive to whatever extent. We are the reason they are so wrong but... they were wrong to begin with and we kept offering redemption at our own expense. It has GOT to stop. Man babies gotta decide what they want and we gotta know where we can be safe and not victimized by our kindness
Be a better selector it’s clear you are attracted to men with these traits, perhaps that’s all you ever knew, but anyone who’s watched this content today can’t make any excuses after, women do the same thing so people just need to be better in general. We need to take accountability and show the younger generations an example of what healthy love looks like.
@@tybenz2533 you know what Ty get in your own lane. It's therapy for me to tell my insight outloud and I will not stop sharing.
@@venuspsychicmasseuse never asked to stop sharing your “insight” we all have the right to offer our perspective whether you like it or not.
This was the comment for me.. it’s crazy!!!!
Thank you Ace 😊 sometimes my loneliness leads me to toxic men and im a single mom .
Loneliness? More like lack of self love, self control and self worth. Self esteem and self care are so much more than affirmations, spas and spiritual mantras.
Been where you are at….
@@privatename40both
Whew. This is my first time seeing your podcast and you didn’t have to smack me around like this Sir 😭🤧 You literally described this man to a T and I’m sitting here like wtf?!! Lol
Mystery? Try that at a job! They will mysteriously be unemployed.
Harsh truth for me. I was so damn naive and unhealed. Thank you.
Both of my exes did this months into the relationship. I fell for the "I'm busy excuse." Turns out they were both talking to another woman. My love life is a wreck and nonexistent and I'm so close to giving up. I'm crushing on a guy who was actually taken and I'm doing anything I can to distract myself. I'm praying so desperately that God would take him out of my mind but it's not happening. Instead, I'm just getting even more angry at myself for being the way I am. I feel so left out as I see everyone around me getting married and starting a family. Even they can't understand why I'm still single.
I know how u feel. Church is the only place u find a quality black man
Booooooyyyyy!!!! You betta talk about it!!!! I’m here for it. 🤷🏽♀️ I told that clown 🤡 exactly what you are saying. The boy couldn’t match my energy dismissed. I love every word that you’re saying any woman who click off this video gotta be delusional. These men are on it playing games. I give you the same energy you giving me.
You are speaking the words that a lot of us should have been told from our fathers and brothers.
Thanks, Ace...You are so on point. Serial 3 months dater..😅
I'm so glad, I can walk away. I'm waiting on my King. Love you Ace.
29:00 It's either he's doing that or worse, villifying you by asking you if "all you want to do is hurt him/take advantage of him?" Or the "be honest with me, have you cheated while we were together at any point?" Now you're placed in a position to always have to prove yourself and work to earn his trust on things you've never done but indirectly being accused of. He's just 'asking' you if that's what you did for reassurance x1000 times over. Repetition is part of the manipulation because it's purpose is to wear you down emotionally and psychologically, it's sickening
If a man keeps asking a woman if she is cheating, I guarantee that he is the one cheating.
😊
This is a truth everyone needs to hear!
STOP 😭 I cried laughing when you starting picking up bread crumbs and smackin’ on em. Your personality is infectious, natural storyteller.
P.S. It’s at 6:46 🍞
Yep yep yep! A true Queen doesn’t negotiate or settle EVER. Don’t deal with court jesters, ladies. 👸🏿👑💋
Look Ace.... we need your honesty. Thank you!
If you ain't consistent with what you say you want why should I give my energy and time to fill you in my life , it's full enough trying to keep my peace together thank you ACE
He is 55 and has done all those breadcrumbing ghosting etc they never had words for it when I was in my younger years s I’m learning so much so thank you 🙏. I will no what not to put up with the next one ! Yes I’m done with him now ! He’s done it to many times We were teenage sweetheart hearts and got back together after 37 years some men never grow up 😮 he will get a shock when he reaches out again 😊onwards and upwards ❤️✌️
Ace I personally believe how better to learn about a man's behavior than from a man . The thing I can say about me is that although some have tried the breadcrumb thing with me I HAVE NOT STUCK AROUND for a long time for them to keep doing it . If you are dating for purpose (leading to marriage breadcrumbs will not lead you there ) .
I totally was yelling and shouting laughing while watching this LOL. Thanks I needed that laughhhhhh
Ace, I like the way you deliver this message, you speak passionately, keep it real and humorous. Thank you for using your platform to empower individuals 🙏
Damn, this hits home. Going through the pain now and trying to heal. It's better to stay single forever
Edit: you are funny. You had me laughing and crying all at once.
Right sis I want to believe their are some good men out there I haven't met any and from what I'm seeing the rest of our sisters are having a hard time
Makes you scared to date.
Ace!! I listen to you all the time but today! Man, it totally hit different today. Feel like all the mess I’ve dealt with over the years was explained through root cause in this one video.
You got me so strong out in these streets these men hate me 😂😂 when they see me with my next man they will know he is everything they aren’t. I am gentle and sweet with the cut off. I silence out the matrix of bs. Thank you God bless you I started with self love, added my empress confidence, and end with Ace law. Out her in peace❣️❣️❣️
I'm omw
Loveeeeee this
I have to admit usually when men come on to speak to us women about these issues I find it hard to receive the message because it seem like it’s a lot of anger behind it but with your message it’s totally different because I can feel the love coming behind it. You seem to genuinely care for us. This is why I can listen to your message and actually receive what you’re putting down.❤
An overly available man because the only women that like that is women who like playing games. I’ve been played enough in my lifetime and my philosophy has always been: There are a lot of women out there they wanna play games but don’t play games with women who tell you up front that they don’t wanna play games, so the first sign of game playing I’m out.
You gotta step the game up! I don't do crumbs baby! I'm high maintenance! 🗣️💯
Thank you SO much!!! I needed to hear this! I already started setting boundaries but this is confirmation I’m doing the right thing. Doing the right thing isn’t always comfortable but it’s so important
Too many broken men men and broken woman in this world. People taking those bread crumbs as “ love” because they lost love in themselves.
I wanna say thank u .....I know it's hard to hear the truth and I needed to hear this message...THANK U SIR
Toby took hostage of your show! 😂😂 He’s so adorable! Love your show, you speak BIG FACTS!!
He ain't lying
What about five years! I have walked away finally!!! Absolutely I seen the signs
What about 13 and a 7 year old! 😥 the signs were there. Now he’s on a quest to find his wife. He switches every few months, but no real change. God told him I was his wife in August 🤣 now he’s searching for “The one” but still doing porn, still having sex with his flings, still not being real 🤦♀️ going to church and in ministry classes, but still doing the same thing. What Wife?? 🤭🤣 please
This summer is going to be REAL different. ❤
🤯 🤯🤯🤯 cereal dater, I never knew… thank you so much, you are helping me get through this horrible bread crumby situationship 🤦🏽♀️
Serial ,, like a serial killer or serial rapist
@@dantoinettetaylor1663😂😂😂
God I needed this..at this very moment in my life ❤ Thank you!!!
Don't use the Lord name in vain
After suffering from this twice I will only entertain an available, consistent man. Because I don’t hate myself.
Sweety, your gurl don't have to worry about Usher, you do 😂
Your response to the question regarding how you respond to a guy who tries to hang out with you after breadcrumbing was right on point. Some of us do think that way and that’s what keeps us in bondage.
Chile thanku!! im talking about .......the holy spirit in u just put me in my place . The lord told me to stay away but i didnt wanna come off like i was better . But the lord said " my child , u ARE BETTER " . im sad i wanted him to b my husband.😢💔👁️
Amén…🙏🏼💗 This is the sermon I needed to hear. You are a the big brother I never had. Thank you.
Ace You Is Telling The Truth Lol You Got Me Cracking Up Laugh Cause the Truth Shall Set Free!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ace! I am laughing so hard at you right now! You ain’t nothing but the truth. I so needed to hear this today. Thank you!!!!
I'm am a 62 year old widow who knows what love from a healthy man looks and feels like. I also desire marriage again but the people in the world are so corrupt that if your discernment is low because you're too lazy to seek God, you will keep meeting the same demon embodied in different men/women. A man who approaches me has only one time (if he said he'd call) to miss calling me without following up in a timely manner explaining why, for me to dismiss him as a suitor. If he can't keep his word over something that simple, he's not going to keep it with things of importance. Younger women have set the bar so low when it comes to how much they are willing to tolerate that most men think they can get away with bad behavior from all women. Be willing to be happy alone. Cultivate your own life with joy then the right person has the space to step in and add to that joy. Avoid everything else.
Ace, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I needed to hear this tonight. I was sitting here for 2 days feeling like a damn fool for being with a man for years who just clowned me. I needed to wake the fuck up because he's the damn clown!
"why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? Dude chilling and getting cake elsewhere too. SMH ..
Amen Brother 🙌, even after he keeps putting his feelings or putting his business on you, and threatening you that he is going to put you in a hole, like your life doesn't matter. Just do it, because my higher power will always protect me.,...even after 12 years
Nothing but truth💯💯 first time, and the last time lesson was learned💪🏿
You rock! Thank you.
HANDS n KNEES
many many times
I have stayed the reason was i didnt want to start all over again after years of getting to know somebody all over again
A lot of people have that mentality, unfortunately
I am prefere reliable. He does not have to answer right away, always but most of the time.. But he starts and finishes a conversation. And he comes back when he says so. Respect and action and accountability. A man can do roleplay once in a while and plays bad boy on a nice date.Thats it!
At THIS time in my life… I prefer the more available one!! In all aspects…
But like you said, I been there a time or two with the not so available guys, NOW… At My big age, healed version of me, boundaries setting self… give me the more available man ANYDAY!! 💯
Be As Disciplined with your heart with what he is allowed to do to you. love that.
Ace you are so wonderful. Every woman needs to hear this. Especially me. Only wish I would have heard from you sooner. It’s a new day
Amennnnn!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽To this whole 👏🏽entire 👏🏽message! This PSA right here is the absolute gospel truth! From the book of Ace lol
💯🎯🎉💪🏽👑
I gotta disagree about the ‘mystery man with the choppy communication’ tho. If he’s not consistent, my assumption is that he’s juggling women or not that interested 🤷🏽♀️ Genuine interest- in my humble opinion - could easily be shown thru daily communication without coming across as overly available or desperate. And I’m DEFINITELY not being intimate with mystery dude. If anything, it’s delayed until his interest is consistent over time. #thatsall 👸🏽
Thank you for this!! Had a man ahemmmm boy leave me at a bar because he got jealous of another man talking to me. I’m 49!!!!!!! Nope. Nope! NOPE!!!!!!
I needed a father or big brother like you !!! I left the marriage I was bread crumbed in! I accepted the minimum and ask for nothing. I’m soooo in tune with myself now !!!