My girlfriend ditched me to go clubbing with her friends instead of taking me to the hospital...
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- čas přidán 7. 05. 2024
- My girlfriend ditched me to go clubbing with her friends instead of taking me to the hospital, so I'm leaving my heart in the ER and ditching this relationship. Plus one update.
u/Nearby_Volume_7067.
#reddit #redditupdates #redditstories - Zábava
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Definite red flag. She loves her clubbing far more than she loves you. It’s time to go.
And with bunch of boys....
And she refuse to answer the phone at all.
Honestly I don't trust her and she immediately defended herself in the follow up conversation as if at any point that was "okay", then she tried to minimize it. OP is right, with a role reversal, everyone would've been riding his ass if he only decided to go back after blocking his partner at 3 in the morning.
with a role reversal reddit m1sandr1sts would not put the blame on op and accuse him with "did you ever call her when she was out clubbing like this?" or "do you have a problem with your gf clubbing?" their immediate reaction is very telling on what a shitshow reddit is. with role reversal they would go "you couldve died sis, dump his sorry ass" not assuming shit about op and justifying gf
Reddit has always been highly sexist, if you meet certain checkboxes they basically believe you're always automatically right unless its so blatant that the mental gymnastics are too tiring to attempt
honestly whether she is or isn't cheating is irrelevant. The basic fact is that she blatantly ignored what could've been an extremely dangerous situation. What if OP was having a stroke? What if OP was having a heart attack? Even if she thought it was a prank, even if, she could've stepped back from clubbing for a moment and tried to genuinely find out whether OP was pulling her leg or not. The fact she's willing to disregard such a potentially dangerous situation for partying, drunk or not, says it all really
This exactly.
This. Seriously. If my wife called and texted me saying she was in extreme pain I would drop everything and go to her as fast as I humanly could. Even if I thought that there's a chance she might be pranking me (which, by the way, she would never do about something like that) I'd be there as soon as I possibly could. And I am willing to bet that this is what any sane person in a relationship would to: it's just what being in a relationship is about. It's the normal reaction. Ignoring then blocking your partner just to keep partying is effing vile.
it WAS an extremely dangerous situation, thats the thing
Well usually Women act like this when she is being distracted with another man besides MC, so they start doing shit like ignoring calls, blocking and being very disrespectful to her partner are signs of this so that part is not really irrelevant but I do agree she has no regards for her Boyfriends life which is extremely terrifying and talking about marrying and having kids with this kind of Woman is also terrifying. I think dude needs to cut his losses but that's entirely up to him. Her friends not inviting him is also a red flag, probably threatened him and blocked him to show off in front of her friends. Friends probably don't like him anyway.
She wasn't cheating but she WAS flirting.
In the moment you stop trusting your SO, it's practically game over.
Shattered trust is NEVER repaired. I've never wanted to. /but I believe, way deep down, that even IF you wanted to repair & rebuild, it simply cannot be done.
Agreed. You can work through just about anything, but there's no fully repairing shattered trust. I really, really don't like divorce, but it's the one reason I would get one.
I think trust can be repaired, but it may require some time apart. It definitely isn't easy and both sides need to be in on rebuilding trust
Pain so strong that it induces vomiting
"It couldn't have been that bad, you're exaggerating"
"Emotionally needy and insecure"
Wild.
In fairness it's what she thought and he never mentioned puking. Still she's wrong but at that time thinking that sure. I can see it. But when your partner needs you and you bail it's red flags
@@obsidianfrost9514she knew he was puking when she got back home. Her first reaction on that was anger though
manhood in a nutshell.
@@obsidianfrost9514 "i need to go to the hospital" is ALL that needs to be said, people don't typically say they need to go if they don't have to.
People suck dude.
OP said she's showing remorse, but I don't think she's showing _true_ remorse. She's just realizing that OP isn't backing down and realizing that she might get dumped. I get the feeling that she has been in charge throughout this relationship, that she is the one who gets angry, who is loud, who is stubborn and who is unyielding, while OP has had to fold, make all the concessions and appease her. The kicker for me was when they finally had a talk and he told her about it and her first reaction was to get defensive and double down and argue with him, and tell him that he exaggerated. The effing nerve. The man had testicular torsion for f sake, which is up there with some of the worst pain there is.
Not just that it's painful AF, but if treatment is put off for too long, the back up of blood flow can set off a domino effect in your body causing you to die. Like, it can literally kill you if left to get bad enough.
She clearly has no regard for his situation and is only apologizing and "feeling guilty" because she knows that had OP no been taken to the hospital right when he was, the situation would have been way worse and there would be no way for her to defend herself. The fact that she also immediately got defensive after her pointed out the fact that she purposely ignored his calls, disregarded his texts, and then BLOCKED him without even trying to listening to him, as well as yelling at him about the vomit instead of asking if he was okay, also says that she doesn't care. OP should not get back with her as it is very likely that something like this will happen again.
This. This right here.
She's full of red flags.
And he got too much to lose in divorce.
So, too risky for him. He should get gone.
5 years in a relationship and she goes solo clubbing?
This guy might be in for a nasty surprise...
Yea no way, she isn’t wife material
Something to remember is that vomiting, unexplained shivering, and cold sweats are all pain-induced shock symptoms, and anything that can cause them should be something taken care of in the emergency room of a hospital. While I (34 male) didn't suffer a testicular torsion like OP, I did end up with a kidney stone at around the same age and was lucky enough to have my dad on hand to drive me.
Yes, this. I had the exact same symptoms (minus the vomiting, but I was very close to it) when I developed acute pancreatitis. Shivering, cold sweats, dizziness, moments of intense pain that slowly subsided and then came back stronger and stronger, in waves, maybe 30 minutes apart. At some point it knocked me unconscious and when I came to I drove myself to the ER. Stupid-ass decision to drive myself, but at the time I wasn't really thinking clearly and wanted to get to the hospital as soon as I possibly could without having to wait for an ambulance. Fortunately I lived less than 10 minutes away from a hospital at the time.
OP, if she ignores you (and block you) while clubbing with bunch of guys then breakup with her...she defo cheated and doesn't want to be disturbed
Not a keeper. She's a "Sweeper"
Honestly, if it was me I would of told her not to worry about seeing me in the hospital and to keep "enjoying" her night out. To actually block him after being together for 5 years for texting her is crazy
It is "would have", not "would of". Learn the difference.
Honestly, just going to the club while together with someone with your girlfriends is already a huge red flag.
Please don’t get back with her OP
She did nothing wrong mate
@@d1xy372 yeah she did lol she ignored him while he was telling her he had a problem
@@d1xy372no, she did nothing right
@@d1xy372 justifying call blocking of your SO is crazy
@@d1xy372oh yes she is. Going clubbing as well and blocking him in dire situation like this. He should not just break up from her but also shaming her as well
She's out clubbing with friends all night and is mad you tried to contact her? She's cheating.
"I just want peace of mind knowing my partner has my best interest as heart."
Then why are you staying? She's already treating you like an afterthought, do you think it'll get better if she gets off scot free or worse?
She wants to act single, she should be single. Dump her so you can find someone who wont leave you to die, and she can go clubbing without any attachments.
100% She was out cheating and didn't want you to ruin her night with other guys. Also she is a terrible human being and GF for blocking you when you told her you need to go to the hospital. Just disgusting how she even thoguht that.
The fact she's blaming him for wording it poorly while she knew it was so painful he puked his guts out. Hell, still claiming it couldn't have been that painful while she knew he puked his guts out due to the pain!
She says some okay things, but reviewing all, I wouldn't trust her.
Nah. She's with bunch of guys.
It's supposed to be a b'day with her friend....
That's too risky.
People just accept anything and roll over. If you are in a relationship and your partner asks you to come back you should do it. You can be annoyed, but you should listen if you care about them. You should listen, even more so if they mentioned needing an hospital. If it's a prank you can get angry, but what if it isn't? She clearly doesn't think much of him if her first thought was that he wanted to ruin her night.
Broken trust is very difficult to restore, so there is no going back.
People just break up quickly and give up
@@verygooddeal4436 What do you mean? Are you saying he shouldn’t break up with her? Because that would be giving up?
You are right, if the first thought by her is he is, “trying to ruin her night”, then you know what she thinks of him and really has no respect for him.
Why would she asume a prank if he's never done that?, Does she even know what extreme pain can do to the mind?
There is no reason for someone to go clubbing without your partner when you are in a relationship.
They share a friend group and it's rare thar she does. It isn't am issue if trust is here like it used to b till she did this
@@obsidianfrost9514 problem isnt trust in her. Problem is not trusting the random guys that are at the club with her. They could get her drunk, roofie her, assault her, whatever. Clubbing isnt safe.
@@user-tx4wj7qk4t but I didn't say that??? Reading comprehension learning should do you good
You sad doormate. She left you for dead to Cheat. No way was it just a girl night. You needed to brake up with her right then & there. A Lot of this is on you.
I mean other than susceptibility there really is no proof guy. Try as you might just because she was at a club getting drunk doesn't really mean much. Without proper proof you just have a hunch. Still is true that there should probably be a breakup considering all this, but OP still has boundaries IF they decide to stay in the relationship. Really throwing the term doormat around there.
OP says gf was "owning up to her mistakes." No she wasn't. All she did was make excuses, and cry what I can only assume at this point were big crocodile tears to make OP feel guilty about doubting their "relationship."
What a simp! He's gonna find out the hard way when she cheats on him. No girl goes to the club but much and don't get guys hitting on her left and right. Temptation will win.
Stupid opinion
Torsion. He's one of the lucky ones. I tried to wait out the pain. This was NOT the right move. Should have just called the damn ambulance.
Yeah, bro. For sure.
I've been trying to raise some awareness around issues like Torsion and testicular tumors.
If something feels wrong with your "boys" then go to a doctor. If they're in pain, seek help immediately.
this dude is spineless. he needs to ditch her.
That is ridiculous
He does need to ditch her. Find someone who actually cares about op.
@@d1xy372 Not ridiculous at all. Blocking him is enough reason to dump her.
a little unrelated, but Perfect marriages or relationships don't exist; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we worked through them. It was a tough time, but we emerged stronger
I understand what you're saying, and I truly want to find happiness like you. I have someone special in my life, and even though we're not together at the moment, I can't imagine not having her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she returns, and I'm completely committed to making it work. We've tried therapy and other ways to fix things.
Saying goodbye to someone you love so much is never simple, but I got help from a counselor named Aurelia Maisie Goelet, and she kept my marriage together.
Thank you for this advice. I'll promptly start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm optimistic that pursuing this approach will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; her absence weighs heavily on me.
You are Welcome
This ain't his gf or future wife lol
DEFINITELY cheating on him
Touch grass mate. Nothing in OPs post suggests anything like that.
@@d1xy372 no. I don't like touching grass. it's course and it gets everywhere
I mean I can understand kinda thinking it’s a joke at first, but to continuously decline his calls when he’s never blown up her phone before and block him all with the context of him saying he thinks he needs the hospital is insane 😭
I was married to my first wife for 20 years. During that time I got sick or injured a couple of times. Did she ever take care of me. Each time I got sick she immediately came down sicker and never took care of me. Then I had an issue with my joints that made it difficult to even move. She told me she wasn't having fun and wanted a divorce. Don't be me. I wasted 20 years with a woman who likely had no real love or empathy for me. Move on and find a real woman who wants to be with you.
Dude had no reason to apologize to her at all. What a doormat
If there's no trust, there's no relationship. Give up on her, because she gave you nothing to trust her with in this situation, and she showed her true colors. She's too immature, and self centered to be in a serious relationship with, so find someone else, and move so she can't stalk you. She seems like she might do that.
If she is clubbing without you she is single and for the streets.
She was definitely cheating on him. Leaves at 9pm doesn't get back till 6am on top of being drunk with her friends who are probably single? Major red flags right there. I'd dump her and move on.
Story said she got back at 2am..? She sent a message at 2am, asking about the vomit..
@@Chieftainkristian Indeed I stand corrected on the time she got home. Still doesn't change the fact that she was definitely cheating on him.
I mean other than susceptibility there really is no proof guy. Try as you might just because she was at a club getting drunk doesn't really mean much. Without proper proof you just have a hunch.
@@9zuks Proof is when she gets defensive when says/mentions her cheating. A normal reaction is being offended by said remarks, but she got defensive immediately. Major red flag. Also it's one thing to go out with her friends for something like a lunch/dinner/movie type outing, but she's in a 5 year relationship why does she need to go clubbing? The main reason women go clubbing is to get mens attention.
@Huehue-qf1ri Proof is her crying and not denying him accusing her of cheating also her response of blocking him for "ruining" her night out.
You are soooo lucky that she is just a girlfriend much easier to dump vice divorce and a Lot cheaper
This guy is gullible and spineless. For sure she is cheating and does not love or care for him.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Take it slow physically and within your relationship. Talk your decision out to a neutral party before you make it.
If you never had a history of doing pranks, then the fact you said that you needed to go to the hospital should have been enough to make her come home. You need someone to respect you when you make that kind of declaration. Yes, 5 years is a long time in a relationship but when it becomes a decision between life and death and she just didn’t take you seriously, that’s when you end it. The fact people are bringing up “sunk-cost” fallacy to prevent you from making a decision that could cost you your life is not thinking about your well being. Like you said, had the roles been reversed, people would be telling her to dump you and file a restraining order. You are right to feel this way.
Read my lips….if you are in a committed relationship where you care about your partner you don’t go clubbing with your friends. Never. Got it?
I guessed it was a torsion.
Leave her
"Clubbing" = "trying to find a better guy".
A point being she so drunk that she didn't have normal reaction to the emergency situation so what made him think she won't do the same and sleep with someone.
Bro I already knew what was happening to OP after the first symptom, I wouldn't wish TT upon my worst enemy
A five minute walk to berate OP or sort out the problem OP was having is nothing. Her flirting with the guys she was out with was more important. OP needs to dump her, she has no feelings for him and is only using him as a safety blanket.😢
She's not yours just your turn, never trust a girl going to the club without you. That's a massive red flag
1- she 100% cheats
2- she left you when you needed her most
3- why the fuck would you want a wife that goes to clubs
Lol. Exactly!
OP gotta investigate further. There must be solid proof she wasn't cheating. Then there is a chance for forgiveness. That's an odd situation, maybe she indeed acted immature, but it must be proven. It's either negligence or infidelity. The first one can be forgiven for this one time, the second one is unforgivable per se.
I don’t think he should forgive her even if she wasn’t cheating
I mean other than susceptibility there really is no proof guy. Try as you might just because she was at a club getting drunk doesn't really mean much. Without proper proof you just have a hunch. Still is true that there should probably be a breakup considering all this.
sorry but hearing "i'm really torn right now" cracked me up given the stiches xd
She was flirting with a guy and getting free drinks. You don’t need her in your life.
She did try to mimimize it. And that's after you sat her down...in the hospital....after almost losing your marbles. After everything....she has absolutely zero right to be defensive. That's too much immaturity. That was her chance to dive head first into that humble pie. I mean...just destroy it. Eat till she puked.
She fucked up, she was drunk, she had that silly fantasy of, "I can be around lots of strange guys at a club, stop being insecure". That was her chance to just be a bobble head and agree.
Too many red flags. She will never has his back. Not every person is marriage material. Even people you get along with really well. She's not 'mamma bear' material. She's fair weather friend material.
Yeah... that's a bell that can't be unrung. And you can't chalk it up to being young and immature. The level of disconnect there has to be for you to not only ignore, but get angry and frustrated that someone is blowing up your phone about a medical emergency and you writing it off as a joke, especially when the person doesn't have a history of crying wolf, is insane at any age. Even if you decided to give the relationship another chance, you're never gonna be able to get over the fact that she selfishly prioritized having a night out partying over checking up on you. Especially given that as you said you guys lived like 5 minutes away from the club, even if you were pranking her, she would only have had to give up what, like 15 minutes of her night to find that out? 5 minutes to get home, 5 minutes finding out and then storming off after seeing you were (hypothetically) faking it, and 5 minutes to get back to the club.
There is NO excuse for this to have happened. And that fact is always going to stay with you.
Knowing my wife she would be there in an instant if i mentioned a hospital to her. So listening to this i just can't find my self to understand her at all... If she cared about him even a bit she would go out and call him to check the situation but no, she just blocked him... If i was him a would just send her a message to keep partying but not to come home since she is not welcome there anymore... And first thing to do would be to change all the locks...
Okay, girlfriend goes clubbing without you and gets drunk. That's all we need to know.
Being blocked by your SO and then contemplaiting getting back together is crazy to me
My parents always said "the real partner you´ll find is someone who stick to you, help you and support you when your facing crisist situations". You can find normal or shallow friends at the parties or normal places but real friends will always respect you and coming to your aid as soon you need them. Seems clear to me she disrespect the OP and didnt even checking up on him, even its just 5 mins away. Thats not a wife-material, thats a bygoner. Think twice before he marry her imo. Good luck OP and godbless!😃
You share a lot mutual friends but you weren't invited to go clubbing with them, wonder why.
Dump her immediately, get your life back on track, she is here to leech and destroy you afterwards.
You can’t trust her to have your back at all. You turn to your SO when you need help, when you’re in trouble, when it’s an emergency. She was only remorseful when she found out the extent of your situation. Even then she tried to double down on why it wasn’t really her fault, or she didn’t know. But she blocked you!! When you were begging her for help. I don’t know how she can walk that back.
She'll do it again. RUN!
My question as a male is can what happened to his marble can occur to anyone's randomly and all of a sudden? Its scary...
Nta.....The fact that she ditched you to go clubbing with friends, then proceeded to ignore your calls, and laugh at the text messages. Nah OP you need to dump her and run for the hills....She's a walking Red Flag. She has no regards for your action
I was seeing things from the GF's side until OP pointed out that the club and apartment was literally just a five minute walk from each other. at that point I was like,
"WTF, it's not too much of an ask to walk over to see what's going on before going back to partying. I would've paused my partying to check on him just to make sure. and if he was being stupid only then would I actively ignore his calls and texts. WTF, GF??"
I mean, i can't really say anything about this because i understand that she ignored OP for clubbing, but also, they were both not in the right state of mind, one was drunk, and the other was in immense pain. Even if she did actually take it seriously, there wasn't really much she could do besides call an ambulance. On the other hand, she did ignore OP when he was in extreme pain. So, all i could really say for the relationship is for the same thing op said at the end, like setting up boundaries, having a safe word, always answering each others calls no matter how small it is, and no blocking each other.
why didnt he call the ambulance first?
We call people partners for a reason. If they aren't there when you need them, what is the point? I never would have told her what hospital I was at. Let her see how it feels to be ignored.
Story needs part two to find out what happens.
Whether she cheated or not, he should break up with her. And in my opinion, she was cheating. The ignoring calls and blocking plus her reaction when he said it confirmed it.
Never been in a relationship, but I do get “they’re prancing me” but also check on your partner asap just in case.
Better description of problem absolutely was needed. Saying your gut hurt and you were throwing up all over would have gotten her attention. Blocking him was also a mistake. Asking why he thought it was that serious that he needed hospital would have been best response.
Verdict - Mistakes on both sides. Couple therapy advised.
Crying when you ask about her cheating?
Girl be cheatin'.....
My suggestion is to break up. If you have to set these rules in place just to ensure that you can trust them to keep you safe, then you don't trust her. Plain and simple. If there's no trust, there's no relationship. Drunk or not, you are not her priority. Even if she's actually sorry about this, things could've ended way worse because she thought you were being insecure about things and that's just carelessness on her end. She ain't the one. 5 Years doesn't mean a thing if you can't trust them
Some girls might be wondering why he didn’t call the ambulance earlier. It’s because us men really don’t like talking to someone about our marbles especially if something is wrong, it makes us feel embarrassed
Men don’t let your girls go clubbing all the time it should be a really rare occasion, and even if go with her don’t let her go alone. Women think with emotion more than reason, some of them will easily cheat on you if the get male attention at the club or night life (it has been proven multiple times). Hope this guy gets a lot better and she isn’t the one for him
Move on without her
Dude saying how can he trust her with his life like bro just call 911 and go next time and msg her when u do I wouldnt want my gf whos been drinking walking home from the club just to check in and walk back some creep could follow her one thing he got right they are both immature as hell (these rules are wild and toxic)
Either she was cheating, or she was flirting and enjoying the attention, or she was just having fun with her friends and that's more important than her bf of 5 years needing a ride to the ER. Any way you slice it, knowing that then any wasted years are the ones that start the day after this. She fooled you for 5 years, it happens, it happens to some after 40. He's got another shot to find a better partner
This condition happened to me, it is true hell, can't breath, can't walk, can't think. Hell on earth
Ripped off from another provider
It doesn't matter what she thought...
She's proven you can't count on her in a crisis.
Walk off the lot.
Its called.... Testicular torsion.
im that ahole that hit the nurse button the moment i woke up to her in my hospital room and told the nurse i don't feel safe with or want her here period and when security woke her up to remove her i would say shouldn't have blocked me or laughed at me with your dumbass friends when i was asking you for help during a medical emergency. go and enjoy your friends and enjoy being single now and remember your the cause of you being single.
Dude she wants to go clubbing with her friends then leave her
Be honest she was cheating on you. Massive red flags
Why didnt he call a ambulance? I guess price but still i bet he made this up because hes like my girlfriend will cheat on me
The condition is a testicular torsion, it is incredibly painful, usually requires surgery, and can lead to permanent injury and even loss of the testicle/s. She is an awful partner and this red flag comes with literal swollen testicles. Get out now and look after your own health, physical and mental.
At this point what's the point to stay, you were in dangerous situation and she just blocked you instead of calling to ask if your okay, all it takes is few minutes
Im amazed they try to turn this whole thing on MC, they were Women in that chat and as for your possibly soon to be ex- girlfriend, she don't give a damn about you, theres a saying if a Woman is not willing to drop anything she doing to check on the wellbeing of her Significant Other is someone you need to cut ties with, and another one is if a Woman is not willing to die for the Man she claims to love doesn't really give a damn about you at all.
This is my suggestion for emergencies. When there is emergency then in text or call use full name. This will make opposite party understand that this is not a joke. Important - never use that for a joke, because if it used even once as a joke - the opposite party may not believe you when it is important. I believe this is simple and efficient.
So instead of telling her you have severe stomach pain, you said your marbles hurt? People can take that a different way.
5 years or 5 days doesn't matter. The number of red flags present in this post is disturbing in the least. The fact that O P is "coinflicted" as to the future of the relationship shows a lack of respect and concern the girlfriend has for O P and the relationship.
If it were me I’d dump her.
The first thing she thinks of when you contact her for pain while clubbing is you are insecure, probably cause she is doing something you should be insecure about. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was being talked into being convinced that you were being insecure by a dude.
Second of all, if your partner mentions the world hospital and what you do is block him, yeah, f u.
Third of all, how can your partner think you are so manipulative and untrustworthy that mentioning hospital is not enough? Self projection? Like dudes don’t do that, I could only imagine a very toxic gf doing this.
Forth, coming home, seeing the vomit and her actions not hitting her immediately and not sending apologies.
Fifth and more importantly, once she knew she fucked up, she is kinda owning to it, but if she truely loved you she would have bought you flowers, made you breakfast in bed, lunch and dinner, pampered you to infinity so that maybe you could forgive her, instead she is trying to blame it on you so that she doesn’t look like the bad one.
Lastly, after such a break of trust I couldn’t trust she saying she wasn’t cheating on me and that would eat me alive, so yeah, just dump her.
Honestly? Pretty believable. No telling if it's a true story or not, but this is very ☕behavior.
Oh, and zero chance anybody is going "clubbing" that long and not getting run through by every dude they can find.
Idk I’m about to be engaged and I couldn’t just ignore him like that. I think it’s fair to be annoyed at first if you think it’s fake but I still think you should do your do diligence and still come home. I feel like he’s not the type to just tell her to come home for no reason.
I do think they can work through it but I agree definitely new boundaries need to be set.
Im sorry man but to you want to be a spouse to her or a warden to her. Be strong you got this
Sounds like the guy is a pushover. He'll give in to his GF
Fetal position usually equaly appendicitis. Atleast thats my experience
He wanted out of this crappy relationship so badly that he felt it in his plums.
everyone forget she said when I'm in the club with guys there is something wrong with that picture bear in mind she refused to answer multiple calls even went as far as blocking him that tells me one thing she didn't want him to hear who is in the background with her she could have a stepped out of the club and talked with him but no she didn't she just texted him and that should tell you a lot I say the trust is gone on multiple levels and I don't see a way back from that
Run as fast as you can