Do Lesbians and Gay Men Think The Same?
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- čas přidán 22. 08. 2024
- I've always heard that "gay men and lesbians don't get along"...(maybe I just got that from a Modern Family episode a long time ago and it stuck with me) so I wasn't sure exactly how this conversation would go. Would we not be able to talk about anything because we had nothing in common? Would we disagree on ways that the LGBTQ community is represented? Anyway, I won't give anything away, but I was definitely pleasantly surprised by the wonderful time we had coming together. One takeaway I found was that we need to do a better job of celebrating our pride TOGETHER!
Thank you to everyone for participating in this conversation.
And finally, go find me on all my socials too!
And follow BE FREE TOO!
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Thank you so much for watching.
Be Free
Brian
The fact that two of the lesbians showed up in basketball jerseys 😂
😂😂
Girl, I just noticed that
Yeah, but one of them has Johnson written on the back. Come on.
@@jakes8091what’s wrong w that
like slayy
"i think people would be more bothered that i am a woman than i am a lesbian" such a quote!
No it's not though, women ***(in the west)*** are far more privileged than men, by a long shot.
No people don't like angry mean lesbians cosplyaing men. Bye bulls and butches.
This such solidarity sister
Yeah, not true though.
lmfaoo
I hate the "everyone is a bit gay" argument so much because, if twisted, it can also justify the opposite argument ("everyone is a bit straight") that has been time and time again used to convert LGBT people. No, not everyone is a bit gay. Sexuality is a spectrum, but there are ends in that spectrum too. In the same way that I, a gay man, never experienced romantic or sexual attraction to anyone female presenting, a straight guy might never feel anything close to desire for another man. If you do, that's nice, I think that's great for you, but at the end of the day taking your feeling to declare that "oh everyone is a bit bi actually" invalidates gays, lesbians and let's not forget our assexual friends too.
Agreed.
I think that people on both extreme ends of the spectrum are not the majority, but they surely exist.
There are people who base their sexuality not only on what they like, but also by what they are repulsed by.
This is imo the case for people who are 100% straight or gay.
I've met plenty of gay people who are repulsed by the thought of being physically intimate with someone of the opposite gender and I imagine there are just as many straight people who are the same.
This new acceptance of fluidity is a good thing, but the exceptions cannot be forgotten, because with any situation or behavior, there are always going to be exceptions. It's human nature.
I'm autistic and if someone told me "everyone is a bit autistic", I'd be pissed. Same for sexuality.
Generalizations when taken literally or as an all encompassing definite thing can be dangerous.
Trans people exist and were here to make everyone a lil gay and straight ☺️
disagree, if anything it is a more open perspective for a world with trans/nb folk, just dont frame it so literally in ur mind
@@jupiterxqueen6194 I don't get it, respectfully. But how does trans people existing make it so that "everyone must be a bit gay/bi/whatever"?
For instance, I have felt attraction to trans men in the past. I never got to do anything with them, but the attraction was there. That does not make me any less gay, of course, since I perceive trans men as what they are, men.
I don't have much experience or exposure to Nb people, to be honest, but If I were to have a crush on someone who identifies as NB, I guess it would be because that person was masculine presenting enough for me to feel attracted to. The fact remains that in my whole life I haven't felt attracted to people who present themselves as women or with too many feminine traits. That line is pretty much there and I don't feel desire to experiment beyond that line, not like bi or pan people do.
I don't know if I made myself very clear and I'm afraid I'm sounding transphobic, which is not my intent. I just think that affirmations like "everyone *must be at least open to experiment with more than one thing* " a bit inaccurate. Some of us don't.
But anyway, it's not that serious, just a mild incovenience for me. If statements like these are beneficial to you or your community that's great. The human experience is never unanimous, I guess we just perceive things very differently.
I don't think those statements are the problem, I think the problem stems from the people using excuses in order to justify homophobia or conversion therapy. "Everybody is a little straight", the problem with this is its a opinion not fact, and we probs will never know if it is a fact or not, but these kinda statements are what gets people thinking about sexuality in a way that is different to what we were Brought up with. Without various views and ways to think about sexuality there will be no improving or discussing how it's viewed as such a yes/no thing
These people were really great choices for a video with a spectrum like this. its very nice to see people not be scared to change their opinion on things based on what others said
The red bandana girl is so incredibly thoughtful and well spoken. Her reflexion on why she doesn't care whether her children are biological or not is phenomenal and the comeback "That's the point : there is no man!" is brilliant and hilarious. She could be a successful comedian!
She's not as funny as you, though.
@@matthewjaredcox9753get lost
hate to break it to you but that sentence is pretty common place
she wasn't original for that lol
She's literally culturally appropriating Blk men
I’m shocked most of them went to strongly agree to “everyone is a little bit gay “ 😭😭 as a lesbian I am disappointed lmaoo. No I do not believe that , straight is straight , my gaydar even sees it too 😂😂😂
Idk I think everyone originally has the propensity for it, but in psychosexual development the hetero one gets solidified (or not) kind of thing
Same lol🤩🤭
Why r u disappointed tho.. it’s rlly not that serious lol
Women are generally more fluid than men. It's much more common for a man to be 100% straight or 100% gay. Bisexuality is statistically more common in women. This is probably due to how men's attraction is more physical and women's is more emotional, relatively speaking.
@@JETZcorpIt's possible that men and women are bisexual at the same rate, but society is more permissive of women exploring (and finding out about) their bisexuality. At the end of the day, these statistics are based on people's identity, so if you don't know you're bi yet or are Narnia deep in the closet, the statistics won't capture it.
I almost screamed when he said he's tunisian, as a fellow north african i'm so glad he feels comfortable to talk about this to the world
Im sorry asf but that dude doesn’t look Tunesian/North African at all.. he looks hella Khaleeji ngl to you, look at the features lol he looks gulf type of arab
9:55 as a fellow Tunisian queer I screamed when he said "Tunisia" I deadass thought it was impossible to find a fellow queer in our strict muslim society, I'm so happy to be represented and I hope one day we won't be afraid nor ashamed to say we love the same gender 💖
ME TOOOOO🇹🇳🇹🇳
Bro Im also tunisian and queer😭😭
احنا اكتر مانت تتصور 😂
@@user-nc1cc6ln1g WALAHIII 😂💕💕
tunisia is pretty liberal though compared to its arab neighbors, it's the most secular one since turkey slides back to islamism thanks to erdogan.
I love how everyone kept switching sides because they were actively listening and thinking about whats being said. That wouldnt be the case with most homophobes.
Yaaas the Tunisian guy better work. coming out is still important. We need more representation in the arab world and idols for younger generations to tell them its ok to be what u are
but won't they (gay out) be arrested being homosexuality illegal in arab world?
@@cicciomattese queer people also got arrested in your country at the beginning of the queer movement. Its years of fighting to get their rights and if u dont start at some point u wouldn't be able to achieve anything. In every arab country there is an lgbtq under ground community. Its a different culture too than in the US. U still can't be completely open about it, u shouldn't also if u dont feel safe. Thats been said, it's important to have a role model, even if they live in a none arabic country. It would still show and represent that nothing is wrong with being whatever u are. And also it would be a big help for the new generation (a helf i wish i also had when i was younger) .
He is really hot 🥵😅
@@Bielefeld123 for me the guy with the hat is so damn cute hehe
@@eliasmakhoul7138 cool, I am more into arabs😅 I have a crush on the tunesian guy😪
These men are literal disney princes.
does anyone know their instagrams lol
Yeah exactly so gorgeous
@@dexterlopez5613 the Tunisian guy is @kayeshurricane
Not at all, tf!?😂
I'm a lesbian but I agree, they truly are beautiful :)
It's so sad that even today there are places that would soon kill someone just for being gay or lesbian.😢
People kill for many reasons and are very selfish and petty.
Or jail.
Yes, and many of the LGBTQ societies are supporting those “places”.
As a lesbian I’m shocked by the gender stereotypes!!
We do live in a heteronormative society.
Okay, what's interesting with the two moms and two dads is....and we all know. Everyone assumed cis moms or dads. No one questioned shit.
Same, my eyes widened dude. Didn’t expect these people to be so sexist.
the thing is stereotypes are based on sociologic realities :/ so i don't think those people were like assuming that because someone has a vagina they are better at communication; they are aknowledging gendered differenciated socialization. For exemple: a man is socializatied to bottles up vulnerability, whereas women are sociliazed to have caring and nurturing attitudes. men and women are socialized to be what society expects of them, we all are stereotypes. Now saying that this is the way of nature and that shouldn't change, and aknowledging sociological constructions to better outgrow them are two different things.
@@ELP1125 Why is that wrong? We all have hetero relatives and loved ones too. Hetero parents too.
I really appreciate how smooth and honest their conversation was.
The Tunisian guy is gorgeous 😅
Like the eyes?? His smile??
any one know or found his insta id or name?
@@karthikt360 Let me know when u do:]
@@infjin_ black shirt (tunisian) guy id is kayeshurricane
Love to see gay men and lesbians having thoughtful and respectful conversations. The stereotype that we don't get along is devastating. I don't think that stereotype came from any fact, but since it came out, we see it more. These are very mature people, I hope I see them in future videos!
The last part of the video was a great example of how internalised homophobia can show up in people ... no, everyone is not "a little bit gay". If that was different most straight women wouldn't choose to date men. The guy from North Africa was spot on, on so many answers as well. Straight people are very much straight, just like we are very much gay/lesbian. The argument that "everyone is a little bit gay" is at the core invalidating for both homo and heterosexual, while also erasing the bisexual orientation. My sexual orientation as a lesbian is not "fluid" or any of that 2.0 homophobic discourse we're being served nowadays, if I ever had the misfortune to fall in love with a man/ want to be intimate with him that wouldn't be me having a fluctuation in my sexual orientation, but me realising I was wrong all along about the label I used to describe myself. But that will not happen, because I know deep within me that I'm a lesbian.
YES! THANK YOU!! the fluid discourse happens every week on twitter and it’s always about lesbians but never about gay men.. i wonder why 🤔
I get your point but I have to disagree, I think there is a difference between saying everyone is "a little bit gay" and saying "everyone is bisexual". I think it's just saying that nobody is 100% straight, like, at the very far end of the Kinsey scale. they can be close to those ends and still be gay or straight and not identify as bisexual. and you don't have to agree with that statement and could have a different experience but a lot of gay, lesbian as well as hetero people do agree with our sexuality being fluid and to say that is homophobic is invalidating our identities. I have literally only been with, and have had feelings and attraction for women in my life, and I do agree with this statement and If I were to want to be intimate with a man someday that wouldn't necessarily make me hetero or bisexual. I know aswell tons of hetero people, especially hetero women who have felt attraction to, experimented with or fallen in love with a woman and continue to identify as straight because this is their more common experience and the other is an exception. "If that was different most straight women wouldn't choose to date men" I don't even know what you mean by this?
Maybe I’m biased as a queer North African myself but he is the only person in this vid I found tolerable
Then why do most women look at lesbian porn and never orgasm with men if they're 100% straight...
I do get your point in saying everyone is a bit gay because thats simply just false, but if it was changed to everyone is a bit bi or anyone can fall in love with anyone I fully agree because am I a lesbian 1000% but is it possible for me to fall in love with a man absolutely. I think it is possible for a straight man to fall in love with a man or a straight woman to fall in love with a women. I truly believe anyone could fall in love with anyone no matter their sexual orientation. Also women can fall in love with other women and still consider themselves straight, and the same goes for straight men. So no, not everyone is gay but everyone is definitely a little bit bi. It's ok if you disagree. This is just my opinion on the matter.
It’s so beautiful to see how respectful they are of each other’s opinions 😭😭😭
I think the biggest thing that gay people have in common is that they’re all so open-minded, because narrowminded people are the only ones who would somehow think it’s wrong to be gay
The mustache guy with black hair is so gorgeous.
All? Haha
wait… I see what u did! They’re all gorgeous :)
I'm sorry, but at 8:04 when one of the guys said "my partner and I" and then made eye contact with another guy had me questioning if they were dating
FR I noticed that too
I think the Arab guy has a crush on him
hmm but that kind of joy when you hear "a gay guy has a boyfriend!" type of excitement. But at 8:17 he says "aww!" as though hearing for first time.... any one know the name of Tunisian guy?
black shirt (tunisian) guy id is kayeshurricane
I guess tho I don't see why they wouldnt just say they were dating lol
Being raise by 2 moms is embarrassing back in 2009. now I dont regret it I love them both they’re separated but I love them equally 🫶🏼✨ and I’m 24 now and my step mom is what I call her is a blessing in my life just as my mom 🫶🏼✨🥰
I am a lesbian and I know I would be a good mom but literally my worst fear of having children in the future is that they will be ashamed of their parents. It's so messed up because I know so very well how it feels to be ashamed of something you can't change. I really wish it would become normal to have two moms or dads. Like being left handed has become normal. But we are still so far away from that...
@@s.b.662 they never be normal only thing normal mom and dad
@@s.b.662just be sure to address any conflicting feelings about it that they may receive from outside sources, they will love you both endlessly.
Wow coming from a messed up family dynamic I love when I hear stories like these 😊😊😊😊
My parents are straight not more together science me puppetry and I fish my mom is a lesbian I s!CK of C!s m3n
I have a mom and dad who are both cis and straight - if I was raised by two moms or two dads or any combo of parents I don't think I would have one preference over another, as long as my parents are willing to be loving, communicative, open , and research and admit when they don't know things. I know it was mentioned that in certain puberties, you might want a parent of the same sex to talk about it with but I feel that if the conversations were had starting at a young age, we wouldn't have such a taboo about the discussions and there'd be no shame in asking questions or the parents doing research before having the "talk" with their kids. I know that I am a cis queer woman and if I have kids one day, I fully plan on researching the puberty that they will go through and will talk about it with them from a young age. If they have questions, they could ask me, my spouse, or we could have other people willing to talk to them but I don't think someone's genitals and the puberty they went through would impact their ability to be a good parent. Also if I had two dads that were nurturing and loving, I wouldn't care at all their gender, it's just that in society, men often aren't expected or taught to be nurturing and emotionally open so if they haven't learned those things or made an effort to educate themselves, they could make bad parents.
THIS!!! I was so surprised about the bias for two moms because queer people should know better than most that gender doesn't play a role in how good of a parent you are.
Lol stop saying “cis” it’s not a thing. Theres man/woman that’s it 🙄
@@3picblaze what are u on about? And yes, the adjectives are man/woman. Not cis. Cis is not a word. It’s not valid. It’s a slur. U dont just erase womanhood/manhood to accommodate “others”. Also, there’s only 2 types of people: man/woman. U can be attracted to whomever but it doesnt change the fact that a gay man is a man and a lesbian woman is a woman. Dont even get me started on trannies or “non binaries” 🤮
@@joni3345 here’s some language facts for you! The word cis and trans exist outside of gender! They’re also used in chemistry and other words. The words have Latin origin and I’ll give the etymology here: From the Latin preposition cis (“on this side of”). Borrowed from Latin trāns (“across, on the far side, beyond”). Basically so when you say cisgender it’s saying that whatever gender a doctor labeled you at birth, you are that same gender now or you are on the same side as what you’ve always been labeled as. If you’re saying transgender you are on the far side of what gender you were assigned at birth. There’s been studies that show that the brains of cis people and their trans equivalents are very similar. For example, trans men and cis men get aroused in the same way and vice versa. Also the prefixes are used in terms of chemistry molecule configurations! Its all backed up by science and Latin!
@@gracelarmee “trans men and cis men get aroused in the same way” of course men and lesbian get aroused in the same way. And i tell u who by: WOMEN! It’s not rocket science!
have y'all done bi girls vs bi guys?
Yes 2 weeks ago!
The guy in black is giving beck from victorious vibes
Im also noth African ( Moroccan) and the Tunisian guy is doing all of us a great favour being out and talking confidently on this platform and showing that he is authentic and himself and ok with himself. Thank you you are inspirational and a great role model for others to look up to. Not the fact that you are handsome or well dressed or cis gender presenting..but the fact that you are just yourself ❤
I love the conversations on this channel. Everyone listens to each other, tries to see other opinions, and are fully willing to change their minds. 💖
guy in the black collar shirt is so cuteee
He looks just like Avon Jogia
He looks like my mom's friend
fine as hell
Followed him on Instagram a while back because of how cute and knowledgeable he is.
He is Arab guy his name is Kais boukthir
Really liked the question do lesbians or gay men have it easier. Lesbians have such little representation and so much of our history has been erased. Gay men have bathhouses and Grindr but lesbian spaces are disappearing. It is very hard to have a sense of community when you have no knowledge (history) and nowhere to go (lesbian spaces). Lesbians are just ignored basically. At least gay men have a culture. But gay men also experience more homophobic violence.
. We live in a man's world and we have internalized mysoginy. we must deconstruct ourselves and stop being afraid of taking our autonomy
most men think that a woman is capable of nothing and must put her under guardianship
Could that be because men typically like to go out more and for a longer period of their lives? There used to be a lesbian bar in my town and it closed down while the gay bar stayed open... i don't see this as an attack on lesbians, simply that they don't bring in as much profit, they don't spend as much. And at the end of the day, the people running those establishments do it for economical, not ideological reasons.
@@EricaHILGROSunfortunately this is the world
🤮🤮🤮🤮
I wish I was straight and I don’t hate myself. I hate that aspect of my life because it’s been a rough road to go down, and I’ve been judged more harshly and more lonely than I feel like I would’ve if I would’ve been straight. I was surprised none of them wished they we”re straight. But I definitely think it’s important to be who you are, but you”re sexual orientation isn’t the predominant thing about someone, it’s just a part of you, so I was surprised nobody wished being gay wasn’t the case for them, because stepping aside from the whole culture thing to say “ I love being gay it’s who I am”, instead of being like yeah I wished I was straight because my life probably would’ve been easier without the harassment, judgement and loneliness.
Not all gay ppl want to be straight
At first, especially when you have few people to relate to/support you, you might hope you're straight, I felt the same way. Now I have supportive friends who don't harass me for being the way I am, and you will probably end up finding your own group who you can trust to not hate you for being gay. I don't know if you've found this group yet, but you will.
I think it’s normal to feel that way sometimes too. I’ve felt that way before & sometimes still do because why wouldn’t I wish for things to be easier? At the same time though, I really wouldn’t be the person I am now if I wasn’t a lesbian & if I didn’t have the experiences I’ve had, & it’s just as freeing as it is difficult. The wish to become straight isn’t really a wish to be straight but rather a wish that things were easier when you’re not straight… but yeah, it’s just plain hard to be considered “not normal,” as human beings we’re hardwired to want & need to be accepted by others & to belong. I think to feel ok as lgbt people we really need to find & create that community in our lives that will accept us & love us, & then we will feel less strife about it.
You would've been doing the harassing then.
That's why I don't wish I was straight
Maybe because yall are not attractive enough you gotta figure out if being male or female is more attractive.
“We can serve 💅… and we can serve! 🤽🏻♂️”
The Tunisian guy present me as an Algerian 😢 We suffer in our countries
And he is damn hot too🥵
@@Godwlingua black shirt (tunisian) guy id is kayeshurricane
Saying “I can’t imagine being straight, that’s so boring” is really bad for our lgbtq+ community. It isn’t a personality trait or accessory that you put on to be more interesting. So it not only is insulting to straight people which feeds into more hate towards the lgbtq+ community, but also diminishes the significance of our own identities and makes it seem like a cool trend people can choose to pile on to.
I think they were joking
It literally is boring
Straight culture is outright boring to me. It comes with a heavier pressure to follow specific norms that I consider hellish, like the obsession with monogamy and ignorance of sex. I will absolutely say that and I can back it up, and any straight person who gets individually offended needs to either reflect on why they felt addressed or, if it doesn't apply to them, why their skin is so thin.
I think you took it as “ew straight”, instead of “ewww 🌈str8✨”
i quite literally find the thought of being with a man to be boring.. no love no interest no attraction, nothing there. boring! it just doesn't fit, simple as. not about how interesting our "identities" are at all
When I came out I was so disappointed by the reactions. They were either not believing me or brushing it off. I wanted to see happy smiles and a bit of celebration.
Queer Arab representation! ❤🙏🏼😭
I’m pretty sure he’ll say he’s gay and not queer
@@benjaminreyes3624 queer can be used as an umbrella term for the LGBTQ+ community, doesn't necessarily refer to being gender-queer. But how he refers to himself is obviously up to that person 😊
@@sarmo594 he doesn’t at all want to date women. Seems like the type of guy who wouldn’t identify as queer. His sexuality seems to be exclusive and not inclusive
@@sarmo594 LGBTQ+ is the umbrella term, period.
Queer is just a term not even people who identify as queer agree on what it means.
In many other languages, the term "LGBT" doesn't even have the acronym queer, queer is very cultural rather than physical.
Um no thanks
"Everybody has a little gayness or attraction in them to both genders..."
Me, the nonbinary, aroace: "I beg to differ!" 😂
No such thing as non binary 😂
@@joni3345 Oh, Joni, please do find a hobby. Might I recommend a library? Perhaps reading a book or two might serve you better than being bigoted on the internet, going around saying things don't exist and looking rather silly in the process. 😌
NB with an Agen partner, both on Ace&Aro spectrums here. I'm mostly fem presenting on the surface I've confused so many gay boys, half the people who ever asked me out turned up gay later. Kinda validating in a way, but sucks for them that I made them question themselves even more, wish I could go back and tell some of them, "Hey, honey, I'm a boy in a skirt. You'll figure it out eventually though."
@@runeseaks typical response of a brain dead leftist. Calling people names and telling them to “educate themselves” when they cant even differentiate a man vs a woman haha pathetic 🤡
@@ebonyblack4563 you people are really sick in the head. Listen to urself
I respect the groups that are willing to change their views... or realize they had other feelings they weren't addressing until someone else spoke up.
I didn’t like the is everyone is a little gay question. Because it sounded predatory. Like that one guy said if someone is straight respect that. I have no attraction to men so I feel like when people were saying it’s a spectrum they were putting words in my mouth because obviously I wasn’t in the video to defend my stance. Both my parents are straight and would never look at the same sex and I know a lot of women who use the term strictly dickly because they heave at the thought of being with another woman . If anything the people that agreed came out a bit too quickly because unfortunately we are brainwashed to pick one side so if you have the slightest attraction to the same sex , people just automatically come out as gay , rather than bi or pan. Just remember we come out of the closet not the other way around
How did it sound like that to you? I kinda think this, like that woman said, all animals do gay stuff. And as you said its sad to think that you feel attraction to the same gender and come out as gay. I believe that many many ppl really are bi. And i believe that we should just grow up to not have any expectations to who we will love and feel attracted to
if everyone is a little gay, than everyone is also a little straight. And that just opens the door again for "lesbians just need a good d and they are cured". I was hoping we were done with that bs
fun conversation, liked the people that participated
The Tunisian man has a valid point about coming out and basically validating your own existance. Especially in places where it is illegal, just like it used to be illegal here in the states. That first step of sheer heroism and bravery was necessary in founding and establishing LGBTQ rights. However, thanks to technology the world is more exposed and informed than ever before. Progress is happening. Some places will take longer than others to accept that progress, and unfortunately some places may never accept it. Regardless, the goal has always been to be seen as human and equal by law. I hope we as a society evolve to a state where labels regarding sexuality, eventually phase out, and just being and behaving as yourself, loving who you love, lusting who you lust, unapologetically, will speak for itself. That being said, I've chosen to time travel 😆, and not label myself according to my sexuality. And I will never "come out". I just don't feel it necessary to explain my existance. MF you see me! 😆 If you don't like what you see, look somewhere else!
I love the fact that the gay men dress up like normal guys, and then there are the lesbians.
Lmao haven’t noticed that ahah 😂
I love how chill everyone is
What a sweet and respectful video. This was refreshing to listen to.
I love how everyone is so respectful even if they think differently.
All of the men are soooo pretty, love them and their energy
I'm gonna hard disagree with the society gay men vs women thing. Most people legit don't care about lesbians. Whereas unfortunately many straight men get uncomfortable with gay men. Plus.. uhh which gets gay bashed more? I'm not saying it doesn't happen to lesbians. But it happens to gay man significantly more. That is just a fact.
I do agree with you there ❤
I agree. Most of the boys I knew in high school claimed they were not homophobic but felt the need to add that they would not be friends with gay men annd would not interact with them beyond small acknowledgment.
Exactlyy what i thought too!
I was so shocked they all agreed. There are countries in the world were only male homosexuality is punished whereas female homosexuality is not. In my experience, lesbian couples can just exist and nobody cares while gay couple raise a visceral disgust from people. Two women kissing? Ok. Two men kissing? Gross, and it needs to be hidden, or punished, or erased.
lesbians get fetishesed so much that they are not accepted for being real couples we are just tied down to sex and at the end of the day gay men are still men
THE GIRL IN THE FRONT IS FINE ASF
Im straight but fr
“It’s so boring” lol if you date a boring person hell yeah it is 💀
I know. And what “rules” is he on about?
@@jujutrini8412rules like how long to wait before texting someone after a date, how long before the second date can happen, how long before putting a label on the relationship, waiting a certain amount of time before moving in together, the things you're "allowed" to talk about at different stages of the dating cycle, when's the appropriate time to express feelings, and much much more......if you're straight, you might not recognize all these as social rules because it's your norm and what's expected of you...but when you're gay you start to pick apart these social rules and can more easily recognize them because you are no longer following them due to breaking away from the heteronormative social expectation.
@@katarinachiogna-solovey3560 exactly and not to mention the pressure to ascribe to the social norm of the “man” and “woman” in a relationship when ur in a heterosexual relationship. being in a gay relationship really blurs those norms and allows you to think about how you want to portray yourself and how you really are in a relationship
@@katarinachiogna-solovey3560Perfectly said!
@@katarinachiogna-solovey3560 ✌️
We may not get along but we can *definitely* spot each other out in middle of a massive crowd. Heyyyyy!! 😅
14:15 in gay or lesbian whole life, they never attracted by opposite biological sex
This was very congenial! A nice group of folks. As far as the "everyone is a little bit gay" question I think, IMO, we need to separate being able to see/discern that people of all genders are attractive people and actually being sexually attracted to them (ie - specifically we get sexually aroused). As a gay man I have always considered myself 100% gay sexually. I am not occasionally sexually aroused by women. But I can absolutely see many women that I think are attractive, even though I am not personally attracted to them. I'd have to assume that some folks feel the same as far as being straight.
I think it was the kinsey scale that showed most people are at least a bit fluid in terms of their sexuality in terms of attraction not necessarily behaviour, but that's most people not all, also statistically women are far more sexually fluid then men, there are more bisexual women then gay men and lesbians put together but far more gay men then lesbians. On the whole overall statistically men seem to be more fixed I their sexuality and women seem more fluid. That's widely accepted but people don't know why that is although it seems to be a fact
@@Alice-ot5hc I totally agree. I always felt that I was a Kinsey 6. It's certainly my experience in the community over many years that women are much more sexually fluid than men as well. Of course, that doesn't mean that there aren't fluid men or non-fluid women out there!
@@Alice-ot5hc To be honest the ratio regarding "sexual fluidity" in women vs men must be completely biased by the fact that men are way more homophobic than women are and will be deep in the closet and denial regarding their own same-sex attraction. If we were a less homophobic society there would be for sure way more bisexual men than what we see nowadays, most coming from the men who are currently identifying as straight.
@@Alice-ot5hc I wonder if that singular attraction more prevalent in men and that more fluid attraction in woman is not simply the result of a general type of focus and preference men and woman typically have in life (or at least on average). It's often men that have 1 interest that they care much more about than anything else and sacrifice anything else for it, whereas women typically seem to have a more divided/balanced interest and focus on multiple things and multiple people. It would also be consistent with the tendency for women to multitask and do everything (a bit) at the same time, whereas men tend to focus fully on 1 thing and not the other things at all.
It could be a leftover consequence of evolution where both groups often enough did different type of tasks which required a different type of focus.
Lesbian and yes . I wear men's clothes so I'm always noticing what looks good and what doesn't . Also always getting haircut inspirations from other men I see lol. This is mostly it. Some men look good, I feel envy sometimes cause i wish i looked like some of them but I'll never want to interact with them sexually or romantically ever. It weirds me out when people say "we're all just energies" bcuz yeah sure but if your energy resides in a male body I simply am not attracted LOL!!
I think, there are many lesbians that are easy to identify as lesbian. Even if they dress very feminin and wear makeup, they have a special way of walking or moving and a special aura. It's not only gay man, how can be identified.
can u elaborate? (genuinely curious)
@@user-ml8go9yw6qgaydar senses
I love the energy of this group. intelligent, respectful, kind conversation. good points. overall good vibes. love this
You cannot chance your sexuality. I am gay ( only gay ), and every day I wish that I wake up being bisexual.
Same gurl!
It's to be bisexual too tho
reaaaal . I'd do genuinely anything to un-come-out and live as a straight dude
@@nectaroftheswans Are you a woman? I am curious why specificly a straight dude?
no lmfao im a gay dude, im jus pretty feminine@@PowerRedBullTypology
My guy is from tunisia, we see you
Abby has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen honestly
sometimes community is used as an umbrella term: but this group feels very understanding.. like a COMMUNITY.
"everyone has a bit of atraction for every gender" aroaces here in the corner 😀😀
This had potential- but I think this is the last time I spend viewing time watching this fella’s clips. The questions asked don’t align w/anything I’m curious about as a LGBT person- frankly- is this for a str8 audience?
THANK YOU. Immediately mentally clocked out after the first question my god. And then the answers oh god
What are some topics / prompts you’d be interested to see?
@kevinolomon4587 Answer their question
Would u rather have 2 moms or 2 dads? >>> For real? WHO came here looking for an answer to that question? THAT’s when I hadda bail.
@@BrianTerada Thanks, Brian- someone else asked too... A dozen possible interesting/helpful topics to put before a panel of folks like us?
1.) maneuvering family differences/extremes as shared breaking of bread at table & holiday gathering season approaches.
2.) strategizing the minefields of peer disapproval when we date people outside the norm of expected sizes/races/skintones/languages/faiths/economic statuses.
3.) unique challenges for LGTBQ’s sorting thru hospital visits and inheritance challenges when a partner or parent/in-law is terminally ill.
4.) choosing LGBTQ+ businesses over non-LGBTQ+ businesses.
5.) the minefield of adoption challenges, 1st day of school and parent-teacher conferences as LGBTQ+ parents, and for kids who are students w/LGBTQ+ parents.
6. LGBTQ+ positions on product/company boycotts.
7.) personal/couples/family budgeting/division of expenses unique to we that are non-traditional/not m/f.
8.) support of the “T” in LGBT and the new rising conflict & controversy of trans acceptance within our own.
9.) similar/some parallels to #8 our LGBTQ history of embracing/not bracing Drag.
10.) managing relationships w/partners for whom addiction/treatment/recovery are part of our history.
11.) work Christmas parties and LGBT couples.
12.) LGBTQ’s and our sometimes unique & extra-strong bonds w/our pets/cats/dogs.
that first question is so funny to me, because i'm a lesbian raised by my mom and my grandma (my parents were divorced) and i grew up surrounded by women!! i'm in college now and can't thank them enough for how they prepared me for the real world :D
To me the "coming out shouldn't be a big deal" thing is less a commentary on the people coming out and more on society as a whole. Yes, it shouldn't be a big deal, and that's _because_ every society in the world should be chill about it, the fact that they're not is not an argument that they shouldn't be. It shouldn't be a big deal, but it is until it's not.
The guy in the grey pants looks so friggin sweet haha
Town dads can’t read about girls’ puberty & bodily changes? Men are less emotional? Jesus
"People always asked 'who is the man in your relationship', and I was like 'that's the point, there is no man'".
That's exactly my experience as a gay guy, where people always ask 'who is the woman in your relationship', and my answer is the same.
I'm sure they don't mean it in a bad way, they were just brought up with a strong link between gender, sexual orientation and sexual identity, when in truth, all of these are very separate things.
When I was in school, we never learned about these things. Yes, we learned 'there are people that have sex with the same gender' - that's it. No more information.
The way this was presented suggested you better not ask about it, so I can't blame them.
lovely video with good open conversation. only the "everyone is a little bit gay" question, people always seem to forget the asexual and aromantic experience. lack of attraction to any gender means lack of attraction to a gender can also exist.
The question about acceptance was annoying to watch. People equating “being talked about” and acceptance as the same thing are delusional. Saying that gay men are talked about more is not the same thing as accepted more. In fact, that’s the same mentality for its antithesis. The fact gay men are talked about more could mean that they are not accepted more. We all know personally someone talking about you isn’t always praise. Lesbians ran the forefront of community outreaches for gay men because gay men were stigmatized for being vile. Think about the HIV epidemic, stonewall, all of these were “man”powered by lgbt+ ally females. To discredit that fact is absurd. Yes, more non-heteronormative males are represented but that’s because cis men have always been the forefront of positions and is not therefor a “gay” issue but a gender issue.
But trying to separate gender and sexuality ignores the intersectionality of those identities in all people. The question wasn't about "gayness" and "lesbianess" in a vaccuum; it was about "gay men" and "lesbian women." Gay men are going to experience the privelige that men in general share in society, just because that privelige doesn't come exclusively from their gayness, doesn't mean it's not a privelige. Obviously, the opposite is also true. As men, their gender identity is more strictly policed (what they can wear, do, like, etc. without being harassed), something women (thanks to the feminist movement) may not experience as much.
@@evanli8813 As someone who presented as a gay man for most of my life, this is just blatantly untrue. I've observed time and time again straight men descrediting gay men in comparison to lesbians for one simple reason: misogyny. We live in a society fundamentally grounded in the idea that masculinity rules, while femininity should be subservient to it.
A gay man will be inherently seen as "failing their natural calling", especially the more feminine they are. I wasn't praised for my amabness, it outright denounced any femininity I embodied and made me a bigger target than my girl peers (both straight and lesbians) who had more leeway to explore their own gender expression and masculinity. Straying away from masculinity is inherently seen as worse than the opposite, no matter how you try to put it.
A cis woman will certainly suffer bigotry in a way a gay man wouldn't, but, from personal experience, any privilege the latter will enjoy will come from being outright rejected by the patriarchy (which is quickly nullified by the unique and heightened bigotry they suffer), not being embraced by it. Unless an assimilationist, their privilege will come from the same place of their bigotry.
I'm not just pulling this from my own personal experience, in fact: just Google about it and you'll find various studies indicating the higher amounts of lesbian acceptance around the world in relation to gay men acceptance. This is reflected by how you'll much more often find instances of nuanced representation of lesbians in media than gay men (who will either take the form of femenine parodies or white assimilationist narratives, both usually written by cishet people).
Now, this of course shouldn't ignore how part of this acceptance comes from gross fetishization (which also has a gigantic footprint in lesbian rep). This isn't much more desirable than being outright villainized for your queerness like most gay men are - which just goes to show how complex positionality is.
Thank you. Their comments really p*ssed me off.
@@20000dino What part of what I said was blatantly untrue? Your entire comment was basically a rehash of my last sentence - "Obviously, the opposite is also true. As men, their gender identity is more strictly policed (what they can wear, do, like, etc. without being harassed), something women (thanks to the feminist movement) may not experience as much." I'm not interested in oppression Olympics - especially not against people who are so closely allied with mine. My entire point was that trying to separate gender and sexuality when considering privilege was myopic because of how refracted and multifaceted oppression is.
"This is reflected by how you'll much more often find instances of nuanced representation of lesbians in media than gay men." This is not true. The study I (assume) you're referencing pretty explicitly proves that it's correlated with gender norms.
@@20000dino It's wild for you to argue that any man suffers more from "hatred or prejudice against women" than a woman. This only makes sense if you're equating gay men to trans women, which they're not.
What is it with men making the most absurd arguments to twist themselves into victims specifically over women🤦♀️
This was such a good idea
so you start with either an overlaod of dad jokes or an infinty loop of go ask your mom
As a gay man, the unanimous "strongly disagree" to the "i would rather be straight" question seems very hypocritical and biased. If your happiness and identity is tied so deeply to your sexuality then thats really sad. You really dont feel like you would have the same identity as a person just because of the particular thing you are attracted to? thats wild.
Also Ty for making the LGBTQ content with gay men AND lesbians, love the inclusion ❤
I want that black guy to hug me
Me too
I like how every time each question becomes more of a discussion they move from their initial spots either into a completely different part of the chart, or just in general move to a more circular shape for the discussion! Its sweet.
Omg I love the Tunisian guy! I've seen him in IG many times already. I'm surprised to see him here.
Today I learned that he's not only handsome, but also very wise! I agreed with him on most things, I wish he would've spoken more haha
1:39 the fact that I’d go with “strongly agree bro💀”
Me too😭
Not me! I’m proud to be lesbian! I would never change a thing about me! Sorry if you feel this way though.
Nah I’m definitely not attracted to both. I can like the look of a person but that doesn’t mean I’m romantically attracted to that gender.
The one with pigtails and overalls is so cool
We stand together despite our differences and tired of these other letters that seek to try to erase us, dilute us and our struggle.
I miss this vibe a looooooooooot...thank you
whos the cute guy with the black sweater 🤑
Pretty sure that's Kayes Hurricane
i love red bandana girl, shes so sweet
I love the energy of the tattooed guy! He gives such a safe, supportive vibe and looks like someone I'd love to be friends with.
im loving this content and would love to see a video like this with asexuals
You know the asexual goes away when you would meet "the one". People are so stupi with this asexual thing. I'm asexual to my parents. To my siblings. To my family. I'm asexual to animals. But I'm sexual towards men and women. Not to every men and women..like those super obese..keep on walking darling.
Jubilee should have one
oooh yees with sex positive, sex repulsed, and sex indifferents, ace flux, demisexual, greysexual, aroace, etc...
14:15Not everyone little bit gay🙄
You see some people staying
Straight forever
Like hetrosexsual couple
So refreshing to see ppl who finally don’t regret being gay!!
I loved this video and the selection of people was so good!
Beck in Victorious?!?
What’s Beck from Victorious doing here
THE COMMENT I WAS LOOKING FOR
The most wholesome video till now
13:38 that girl in the bull shirt has an spongebob tattoo, LOL. love it
Brian, could you provide info on the participant's socials in case we want to follow them, please & thank you.
Although I am proud to be gay, but I do wonder what my life would be like if I were straight....🤔
Yes I thought about that a lot
Yeah I wish I was straight everyday. I was surprised that nobody wished that, when I’ve said that people say “ Why do you hate yourself?” And I don’t hate myself, but honestly it hasn’t been an easy road to go down, and why would I want a more difficult life in any aspect? I definitely feel like it’s been more lonely than it would’ve been
short answer is no because then they would be attracted to the same gender. Hope this helps!
I love what the red bandit girl said about labeling, and how our thoughts could be without them
this is the gayest possible thing I could say, but the gay men were distractingly attractive 😭good video!
That dude looks like Avan Jogia
SOOOO TRUE MAN!!?
The man with Tatorts looks like uzi
Tunisian King here with the facts against the privileged
Tunisian guy made the most sense. Not everyone is a little bit gay. That's extremely rude to straight people.
2:40 interesting in my country it is the complete opposite
In Germany, it feels the complete opposite too.
i love the red bandana girl
i love this! its so great to see folks just getting along, celebrating their similarities and differences.