One of our important projects we've worked on. This video covers the unnoticed struggles of passive suicide ideation, often overshadowed and overlooked. For anyone who is struggling, you are not alone. Please reach out for help. Help us share this important video message to save lives. If you know someone is struggling. We have a video on How to Help Someone Who is Suicidal might help you czcams.com/video/B7dKgg4Z9tg/video.html
I hate not going to sleep. I probably get 12 hours a week. I want to go to sleep, cease to exist and never have to be awake all night again talking to creepy men as a 9 y/o decoy. Sadly my insomnia is my greatest strength and weakness.
I kind of have plans but after a specific point they stop, like I hit a wall, and once they hit the wall I don’t see myself going further with anything. Like I want to get a job that pays well enough for me to pay off debt, and get a down payment on a house for my parents after that nothing, or at least the feeling that once that’s up for me to vanish
Depression isn't a war you win. It's a battle you fight every day. You never stop, never get to rest. It's one bloody fray after another. Edit: You may experience it differently. Some might win, some might not. Those who can't win feel like it'll never end.
I know first-hand that's what it feels like, but it's not true. Depression is considered in remission when a person's depressive symptoms are indistinguishable from those of someone who has never been depressed. This means that the person has been able to return to a normal level of social functioning. I have been in remission for decades. It CAN get better. Therapy and meds can help, and sometimes it's as simple as getting blood tests to see if there's some physical cause, like thyroid disease.
Idk the days and weeks that I feel naturally content and happiness doesn't feel like a battle after experiencing years of treatment for clinical depression having to crawl out of the deepest pit of it that I had ever experienced.
1:00 NEGLECTING PERSONAL CARE. 1:29 GIVING AWAY BELONGINGS 2:04 LOSS OF INTEREST IN FUTURE PLANS 2:29 DARK BOOKS, MOVIES AND MUSIC 3:16 DARK, ARTISTIC EXPRESSION 3:47 EXTREME RISK TAKING BEHAVIOUR
Other than 1 and 2, that is me, but I am not suicidal, nor depressed. I never found dark things scary. Scary is a romantic comedy. I listen to creepy pasta to go to sleep.
I am medicated for depression. I have ambitions for my future. But sometimes things get to me, just get to be too much. When that happens, I find myself wishing I could disappear from the world, dissolving all my responsibilities and finally giving me peace. I don’t want to die. I am terrified of death. It is a constant thought at the back of my mind. But sometimes I’d just like to be gone.
I feel that. You don't want to die, but your mind keeps mentioning the option every time things seem too overwhelming. It's scary. You want it to stop. Keep going my friend, I'm trying to
I get it. I have the feeling of being trapped... it's like being in a large body of water with all of these heavy chains and ropes tied to you. You struggle to keep your head above water. Whenever you free yourself of one of the bonds, you find several more that attach to you. Or they're knots. But what if? What if the person resigns themselves to their "fate"and allows themselves to be dragged beneath surface. Down to the icy depths below.
It is sad many blankly ingore warning signs to acting ignorant to someone "they'll be okay" or "they always do this" struggling some people don't have anyone.
@@Lu-ot8hsHas it ever occured to you how God saves no one whose pockets are empty? Whose surroundings are filled with silence and loneliness? I don't want to insult you or your God, neither did me wrong. But I've been told that so many times I've come to wonder "Then why did he bother saving my executioners too?"
😞 I went from wondering "what would people say if I weren't around" To "if i could just not wake up" To "This is how I'll do it" Those feelings have passed now
I struggle with passive suicidal ideation, so much so that I catch myself saying things to myself like “I just wish the world would end” or “I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up.”
It comes and goes depending on what happens. At its worst, it feels like a noise inside of my head that won't stop. And my mind feels like it goes at war with my body, where my mind wants to give up but my body is fighting to keep moving. I ain't got to that point in a while, but it's a feeling that haunts me.
I struggled to even start writing this commentary. That's how hard and close this video hit me... Everything except artistic expression had flew just an inch away from my heart. Last few months were hardest in my life for now. And I am only 18 years old. I appreciate your content, and I'd love to see another video, but on how to help going through this time. Because, even though I am generally feeling like leaving, I am still trying to think logically, and ensure myself, that my path will be brighter right around that turn, after that week, or when I will take that conversation. I hope I will stay strong and nobody will give up, too. Because if we give up... Then who's gonna support our loved ones? Who's gonna tell stories about our hard times? Who's gonna say that meaningful good morning or goodnight, or good game, or thanks, or bless you? If we were treated poorly, means we should treat the world better. Who's gonna do it, if not the brightest flame that ignited in darkest void? Stay alive my friends. And remember, no matter how lonely you feel, there's people out there, who's gonna help you. Just ask.
Like imagine if you had such a powerful imagination that you could imagine a suicide and you imagined it so strongly that it would physically materialize right in front of you. That's literally what is happening. The floor you're sitting on is literally that.
Let's see my stats. 6/7 severe depression. 3/5 passive suicide ideation. 100/10 the fear of change. I'm stuck in a life that I haven't wanted for the last 19 years.
@@eyeofsauron2812 sounds cool. thing is, if you went through some heavy shit before hitting adulthood, to change your life would require changing your self. and tell you what, the experiences you go through can form some nasty defence mechanisms to cope with a world that doesn't care about you. plus, if you made it all the way to 20+ without jumping onto the forever train and have no friends you have zero external motivation to change anything. if you have given up somewhere along the way, internal motivation does not exist either. if you can solve this riddle, good luck. been trying for 21 years, unsure if i'm even able to.
Sometimes I wonder how is it that so many guys out there are living life in easy mode, while I’m stuck on hard as if the universe has some kind of vendetta against me. Feels like the universe has singled me out for a string of unfortunate events, a perpetual cycle of bad luck while everyone else gets all the breaks. I honestly feel that I was born into the wrong universe, where I feel so out of place, like I don’t belong here. But then again, sometimes I’d like to think that maybe it's just life's way of throwing challenges our way, testing our resilience and perseverance. It's not easy, but sometimes the hardest journeys lead to the most meaningful destinations.
Don’t need to watch this to know I got it. Had it for years now. Successfully ended my life only to be found by my sister, I won’t ever try again, don’t want her to go through losing me too anymore, but I do genuinely not care about dangerous things or situations like I used too. Found I have to try to remind myself to watch what I’m doing now. I know dying doesn’t “fix” anything. Only passes on the pain I feel to another. It doesn’t change that I’m just so tired of feeling so much pain all the time.
I've been dealing with a few problems recently; last year I landed a great job and was enthusiastic about finding a place to live on my own. I made a deposit on an apartment and was ready to move in and then I had a seizure out of the blue. First time in over 22 years. I had my license taken away for 6 months and I felt trapped and alone. I had to be driven to and from work every day and I was depressed all the time. I recovered though and I'm back on track with the support of everyone around me. Never think you're truly alone in this world. You're not. There is always someone to talk to and no one wants you to die ❤️
A dear friend left this world on his own foot last month. He planned and talked about this to me because he knew I wouldn't judge him, having tried twice in my teens. He didn't go through this phases exactly but he did tell me he felt trapped. I love you, my heart is broken, I hope you're not in pain anymore
Bless you.. 😢 My friend hung himself when we were young it’s a terrible business, and here I am years later having lost everything myself, I sometimes think about joining him
I experience passive suicidal ideation every day, and I have since childhood. For me, dark or heavy music has been a major comfort to me. It was the first time I realized that other people understood what I feel, and I didn’t feel so alone anymore.
Yeah I feel so comfortable in my dark bubble. When I try to get away from it I feel anxious like I have to keep going/working/struggle to stay out of the dark bubble.
1- Neglecting self care 2- Giving away belongings 3- Loss of interest in future plans 4- Relating to dark books, movies & music 5- Dark artistic expression 6- Extreme risk taking behaviour
Since Mom died, I have a bit of #1, #3, & #4. We lived for each other. The "emptiness" is far worse than I expected, when no one loves or cares about you, and you have no one to love or care about. What's the point of continuing without a purpose or even a useful function?
@@elultimo102 I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope & pray you heal and live a life that doesn’t feel like an autopilot mode. Until then, take one day at a time. Take care
Admittedly I have #4, but I've always sort of been interested in dark books, movies, shows, and video games (music, not so much-- with exception of a couple of songs from Skillet). On the other hand, I have plenty of craft projects and room redesigns planned for the next couple years.
I see it in my patients as missing appointments, not taking their medications, continuing to smoke despite slowly losing a leg from vascular disease, delaying coming in with gangrenous wounds, refusing preventive measures such as colonoscopy to remove polyps and prevent cancer, ignoring breast masses, etc. Passive suicide shows itself as giving up. They often seem despondent and getting them to interact is difficult. They frequently have little to no family or friends to help them. All of these are warning signs and their physicians need to ask if this is a means of subtle self harm.
This is a really helpful list of examples, because depression doesn't always show as marks on your skin. Sometimes, it also shows up in missed meals, or not accepting gifts. Sometimes it just seems like excessive humbleness. But we have to see it in order to help it. So thank you for listing subtle ways it can show.
I notice there was no mention of the cost even if one has some health insurance for treatment. In fact there is no mention in your post of any economic issues that increase rapidly.
@@stapleface4147 the patients are the ones hurting, keeping that in mind helps to maintain compassion. Sometimes taking the time to hold their hand and listen is enough for them to trust and begin to believe that someone cares about them. I explain everything in terms they can understand. I never guarantee outcomes because complications of surgery happen despite everything being done correctly. But I also make sure they know that I will not leave them until they are well, and for those who are terminal, I will support them until the end. I was trained to care for the sick and dying, and I don’t abandon them. My practice is a mission and my patients know that. It’s a journey that will hopefully lead to better health, and ideally better emotional wellbeing. I do a lot of teaching to my patients, but also my students and nurses. A team effort goes a long way to making people feel secure and safe, and is necessary to heal.
The dark book thing was just my entire college experience. EVERY book that english/writing classes would have us read would center on death. I never enjoyed it, but it kept going and going... I'm so glad I graduated.
exactly, sometimes it flares bright but only for a little while, sometimes it nearly goes out but never does, most times it just flickers enough to show it is still there but not enough to really burn.
I really struggled bad with active suicide ideation a few years ago, and this past year I’ve noticed so much change and I’m finally breaking that chain of negative emotion and feelings. I didn’t think there was a way out, but there was! There are people there for you who care no matter what, you just have to find them! It does get better ❤️
😂 how pathetic & irrational to place YOUR happiness in the idea that others claim to give a fck about you, you weren’t suicidal, you’re just another infantile loser that had nobody to play with at the moment. Clearly your IQ is far too low to ever actually contemplate 💀. It’s MUCH deeper than not having ‘friends’, ugh… I can’t even imagine being this dumb.
I’ve struggled with persistent depression for roughly 10 years and among my ups and downs it really helped to have an outlet or someone to talk to when i felt like it was time to end my life, i still struggle but each time i stand up again after feeling at my lowest i feel so much better. please don’t end your life whether planned or on a whim in the darkness you will eventually find the light
I'm not the only one who got recommended this video by the algorithm, and it's an important video. But not everyone who needs it will see this video! If you have someone you know struggling, please send them something!!
On Valentine's day of 2022 I attempted suicide, I was in my senior year of high school and was in a really dark place I honestly thought I was never gonna see the day of my graduation, I stayed with my sister for weeks. I didn't go to school for almost two weeks (I had both online classes and in the building classes) when I came back I was honestly surprised with the people who realized my absence and asked if I was OK and my mom (who wasn't the best when it came to the topics of mental health) had my clothes neatly folded and my room which was messy cleaned I honestly felt and still do feel guilty. I'm now 20 turning 21 this year and have a son now I still struggle with my mental health but please if you are in this dark place it gets better. Trust me when I say that people will notice your gone and will miss you. Please keep going keep fighting you are strong and I'm proud of you. ❤❤
@@thesilentknight4554🫂🫂🫂 Dear stranger, I hope that your life will be better soon and filled with good memories. I hope that you will have enough hope in your life to learn and want to live again because it might feel like you are just surviving day to day(I understand the feeling). I care for you and I hope that we can get through this negative point in our lives!
I used to struggle with passive suicide ideation for almost 20 years (started at age 12). You know what the most messed up part was? I didn't want help. I felt stuck in an endless loop of hopelessness and because it was all I knew, that loop became my comfort zone. It was the only thing that made me feel SOMETHING. Then I turned 30 - an age I somehow always thought I'd never reach. That's when I decided that something had to change. I finally overcame it by forcing myself, DRAGGING myself to therapy, no matter how much I hated it and how strongly I resisted the idea that things could get better. It was an ordeal, but in the end, I'm glad I did it. Now I'm the one who wants to ensure others that yes, it CAN get better. You might be like me back then and absolutely despise that phrase, but damn it, it's true. It CAN get better. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, so many of us have loved ones that have struggled in this way with their mental health🫂❤️🩹...It helps us better understand & ultimately more effectively help🌞👍🏻.
I occasionally have thoughts of suicide. Sometimes my mind tries to glorify it like it's the greatest form of release. I would fail anything and then I'd hear "you are a failure so love it or die." I have been fighting these thoughts off; I am better than before. Even when I thought I would never become anything worth it, I decided to give myself one more year to turn it all around. I don't regret it.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just a glitch in the system. Like there was a mix-up at the cosmic factory where I ended up in the wrong reality. It’s tough living my life like I’m out of sync with the world around me, and I start to question everything, wondering if there’s some hidden purpose or meaning behind it all. Life is just a series of random events, leaving us to navigate through it without clear answers.
@@gopremiummedia29455well everyones here for a purpose, sometimes I- actually more often then not accidentally slip into derealization and feel like I’m very focused on a device screen and I’m trying it to pull myself away from the screen back to reality but I fall back into… this once again…
@@gopremiummedia29455that’s exactly why we live it. The mystery and challenges, the confusion and chaos… being a misfit doesn’t make you a mistake. Life is a jumble of random crap, and you should live to see what happens when you beat the game. Don’t quit early, or you’ll never know the storyline.
@JL15545 I don't know if you're religious or not, but I encourage you to pick up a Bible and read the book of Psalms. That particular part of the Bible is extremely comforting. I also encourage you to pray to God. He will hear you. And He will help you.
@@SirSonic900 No. He won't. I was raised with religion, and I've never once gotten anything good from it. All I got was a bunch of toxic (but well-meaning) people telling me I was broken just for being how I am. That I was going to go to hell just because of factors of my biology that are completely beyond my control. It's part of the reason I'm depressed now. I do understand you mean well. And it's good that you want to help people. We can always use more kindness in the world. But telling them to trust in some magic sky guy to solve all their problems for them isn't that helpful. If your legs are broken, you don't just pray for them to heal and then hope. You use casts and crutches, or a wheelchair, so that they're able to heal, and you make sure to take care of them. There are reasons we take medicine when we're sick. Or go to doctors.
I eat healthy well balanced meals, i keep up with my hygiene, workout regularly, and from the outside i know i look like a well adjusted and optimistic person(i was actually described as optimistic before, not sure where they got that from) but i have moments like this one right now where i just feel like dying, or making a wish to have never been born. Nothing happened today to trigger these thoughts. Nothing has to happen to trigger these thoughts, they just pop up when they decide they want to. I was fine today at work, i was listening to music and a song came on my phone that i listened to a thousand times before and sung along to. I was singing along to it and then the lyrics just hit me out of nowhere(the song was "So Called Life" by 3 days grace) I hate that i could go from feeling fine(not particularly sad or particularly happy) to feeling like i want to die in a matter of minutes, for seemingly no reason at all. All it takes is a fleeting thought, maybe a line from a book im reading, a song im listening to, or simply observing other people, for me to feel this way. My life feels meaningless and all i have to look forward to in the future is pain and misery and being stuck in the same place ive been in for the past idek how long, all i know is i cant recall a time ive ever felt genuinely happy to be alive. Even as a child. Im 25 years old now. Sometimes i wish for my life to end, most of the time i feel fear and despair at the thought of my own death. All i know is, i cant stop thinking about death, my death, the death of my loved ones. I cant stop thinking about how inadequate i feel. I cant stop thinking about the possibility of developing an illness, facing financial ruin and ending up homeless, being stuck at a job that makes me feel miserable, and being stuck in the same place im in now, lonely and dealing with feelings of meaninglessness. Even as a child i struggled with loneliness. I was surrounded by a lot of fake friends. Between the fake friends and my family treating me like i was a terrible child, i learned early on that i was an unlikable person. As an adult, i have acquaintances and people i talk to at work, but i dont have any friends. Out of all the worries in my head, its the fear of never finding my tribe and the knowledge that my loved ones would one day die(making me truly and completely alone) that fills me with the most despair. If i was never born, if my parents never thought to try for a third(a third child they could barely afford among other things) i wouldnt have to go thru any of this. I wouldnt exist, i wouldnt have to suffer. I wouldnt have to face death(which is the biggest suffering of them all) Why couldnt they have stopped and think and asked themselves if having a third child was a good idea? I couldve been spared all of this. Now i must sit here a suffer until its my time to die, a moment i both fear and long for.
Literally me to the T. I get good grades, I have a social life and I’m a very active person. I get my home chores done and a good relationship with my siblings and family. But I just really really want to die I even have a plan’s of how I’d kill myself. But then again I really want to live. I want to live so bad and I want to be okay. I want to wake up and hear birds chirping. I try sooo sooooooo hard to be the best person I could be for myself and for others but I can feel myself rotting.
I understand. I too eat healthy, well-balanced meals, and take care of health issues which I do not choose to die if they take their course. At the same time, I feel it would have been better had I never been born (I was conceived under some bad/unthinking conditions). I was an identified problem, and the least-favored. I have only had a few friends over the course of my life, although I've had many acquaintances. I never really "fit in" to any group. I've gotten over loneliness into solitude, for the most part. I'm not sure just why. Let me tell you that age does not help matters, except in developing coping skills to deal with the lonely and pointless issues. I've had a few close calls with death - mostly that I did not cause nor could I have reasonably prevented - and.... well... I don't consider myself "lucky".
I'm so sorry you're going through this and dealing with so much hurt and confusion. I'm in no way trying to diagnose you when I say this but have you looked into the possibility of bpd or at least discussed mental health with a professional? It came to mind when you described so many shifts in the way you think and feel. I hope you can find the right resources to help you grow and am certain things will get better my friend, even if that's impossible to see now. I was in a similar state for years due to my mental health and I wanted nothing more than to escape my head and the world, but was also scared of death. Very slowly some amazing changes came into my life and gave me opportunities to heal. I wish I could reassure my past self and give her some hope. Keep pushing on! You're a fighter and one day you'll look back at yourself with so much admiration♥️
The issue here is thinking that ''I'' existed before your parents had a child, nothing was done to you, you are what you make of it and shape yourself with. YOu're not suffering, you're living. You couldn't be spared because to be spared you have to be alive in the first place, all of your issues is just small change in perspective and understanding, even fear is a fantastic feeling compared to not existing, and losing your life means nothing if you don't even remember the fear in the first place
@@Redcloudsrocks If you are alive, even under the most fortunate circumstances, you suffer. If there is no "you", there is no "you" to suffer. If we live, we have joy, even under the most horrendous circumstances. If there is no "you", there is no one to be deprived of such suffering.
This is a truly incredibly well-made video. I can relate to pretty much all points made. It’s a very important topic for sure. I’ve been there, multiple times, but somehow every time I managed to get back up and find a way to go on.. It always starts with gradually increasing self-neglect for me. Realising that I'm unable to plan ahead further than a week or two has definitely been a noticeable and frightening thing during those times. It’s also usually the thing that scares me out of it and pulls me back to normal. Having a routine has helped a lot, it’s been a couple of years and hopefully many more 😊
it’s been a lot of ups and downs the last maybe 8 years but only got worse after i lost my best friend in a motorcycle accident back in november. the constant battle it is to even get out of bed and do the things we loved to do together. our love of cars and my job in the industry remains a struggle even now. i’m now going to therapy to help start my healing process
I think about this a lot. I push aside my wants, needs and happiness for everyone around me. Even if I don't consider them a close friend or loved one. I'm so busy wearing a mask I don't remember myself anymore. And I hate every aspect of my life but I can't escape any part of it.
Been watching your videos so I could understand more people better whenever I look at their eyes and their actions. But I never knew I had so many traits that was related to the video whether it was good or bad. I always tried to understand others, but I never got the time to understand myself deeper and better. I'm glad I know more things about myself and it also helped me get better to understand others
You are golden for sharing this with others. I wish I bad known years ago, well more years ago. Had to lose almost everything to realize. Keep healing people and thank you for the video. 💔❤️☯️
I’ve had these feelings for so long that I’ve adjusted to always feeling depersonalized and empty. I honestly doubt I’d fight death if I was diagnosed with cancer.
I wanna thank you for making videos and raising awareness about darker topics of life and for letting people share their experiences. It means a lot.❤ Passive suicidal thoughts my thing through life. I even was once at a spot when these thoughts actually made me feel better. No attempts (some cutting took place later in life, though) but it still kinda hurts to end up thinking that way. I thought these thoughts were some kinda of a stress response of mine but there was a time with seemingly no stress and they've hit me once again (ah, crap, here we go again). Lots of love and hugs (if it's acceptable) to everyone who is going through hard times. It's darkest before the dawn, and it does get better evenyually, sooner or later, so stay strong❤❤❤
This video... hit a bit close to home for me off the bat with neglecting personal care, compounded by the lack of interest in future plans. Sometimes my mom would ask me how long it's been since I showered. And, even though my job which is in sales gives incentives for people to perform well, I just don't have as big of an interest in achieving them as I thought I did after seeing other coworkers doing so much better than I am, as so often I make a call only for no response to happen. My ADHD and Autism aren't helping matters, but I'm not sure how to get my life back in order. I teared up a bit after watching this video. 😢
When I was suicidal in 2020, I found myself listening to older music. Like country bluegrass, soul, blues, more religious based themes. Johnny Cash, George Jones, Chris Stapleton, other contemporary artists like Kaleo, Hozier, classical pieces from old and new age, Mozart to Hans Zimmer, Cave and Ellis soundtracks, just general feeling of slowing down and reflecting. Sometimes you do that which your soul needs and music can be a blessing and a curse. For me, it helped me process complex emotions and kept me from wanting to do something, even as that's all I was thinking about.
Everyone here deserves to be happy in life. I spent my teens into my 40’s fighting this demon, too often not be heard or getting the wrong help. Once you find the right therapist for you and find the right plan to heal, you can be happy and an actually live life instead of dreading it. Please never give up the fight. You are all beautiful people who deserve to be living in the light and not drowning in the dark.
Another video I saw a while back on survivors was what hit hard for me, they said “I didn’t actually want to die, I just didn’t want to be here anymore and feel all these feelings anymore”
I've had almost all of these characteristics in the past decade and nobody noticed or cared. But I'm still here and I'm glad to myself. When you reach the bottom you understand that the only thing that matters in your life is You and your inner child
So I'm 27, I've never had the actual guts to take my own life, I don't have a terminal diagnosis. But for the longest time ever probably since I was a teenager, I've been planning my own funeral. I know everything I want at it, the music, food, colour theme, everything. I even went to a funeral directors a couple months ago and actively started paying and planning it. I don't want to live, but I don't want to die either. I don't know if it's the constant imagining of people's reactions when they see my funeral notice go up or when they hear I'm dead but I cant stop. I know it's incredibly selfish to wish this but I've always secretly wished for a terminal diagnosis so I have a way out in which nobody blames themselves.
I really understand that feeling, i just want to take care of some things in the next years for my familly and friends, i live near some dangerous zones and i planned to go in that way, so my closed ones will not take the blame
I love how you guys illustrated the cat being there for the person at the beginning of this vid. I can relate to that. My cat has saved me from making permanent decisions many many many times over the years
"Struggle is just another words for growth." I love that sentence. Came here to explore my past self, struggles. Have been multiple times in a depression, and there have been signs indeed. Now I am more aware where it to can lead, besides knowing I am unhappy and need help. Is not now the case, but I seem sensitive to it.
Suicidal Ideation is a term I learned while hospitalized last year. Had NO idea there was a term to what I experienced my entire life. These episodes help me so much in learning there are actually terms for my experience and are ways for me to share with others how they can help me in my care plans.
Dark books, movies, music and videogames have helped me personaly in my struggles, i have a negative reaction to joyous, happy things as a result of my childhood, because i related depictions of perfect families with how unhappy i was with my family and now it branched into fictional romances, adventures, jobs, etc
mid 30s, dwelled into a lot of sciense and podcasts from everyangle while learning to finally parent myself i find thiks channel incredibly helpful, like a co-parent xx
As someone who has struggled in the past due to traumatic backgrounds, I'm able to say I'm in a fairly better state now. I'm happy for the warnings for those who need it. But if I wasn't in a good enough space, I know not to watch what is a very heavy subject. When I'm in a good space, I'm able to cry about a heavy topic and get on with the next. My ideation got better once I distanced myself from toxic people and situations. I uprooted my whole life to get to a semi stable state, and did so because I needed to heal. To anyone reading this: your life matters. If people around you make you feel like it doesn't, then it's time to leave. YOU are your own greatest ally.. sometimes it takes learning to be selfish by putting yourself first in order to get to a brighter tomorrow. ❤
It's amazing what it does for people's mental health when they remove the toxic people from their lives...Even for those of us that don't struggle with any particular mental health conditions, it's hard on our mental health being around toxic types.
I have no problem openly admitting that I'm not fond of this world. However, I am fond of the many places, people, and experiences that can be found no other way than by living. It is this reminder that keeps me afloat when I'm weary and would love nothing more than to sink and forget about it all.
I don't understand how people could even think about suicide I've had a miserable life I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle I can't escape I feel like I have wasted my life doing things that don't make me happy I've never had anyone I can say has truly been there for me and that I can express my feelings to except my grandmother who passed away from cancer when I was only 12 but never once have I thought about suicide and I might cry myself to sleep alone at night I wake up every morning with a smile on my face
2:34 i've been watching suicide videos lately or really just gore in general definitely been literally for sad music long ago it's so good when you actually understand and relate to the lyrics
To anyone struggling. Suicide is NEVER an option. Your life can and will get better if you talk about it or look for help. Try and start looking after yourself to start off. I need to do these things too but im not going to ever 100% give up. Neither should you. You got this
I am glad that you specifically talked about "passive" ideation. In academic books only ideation and intent is found and they are fluid like intent to ideation and ideation to intent. Active ideation includes fantasies and intent is means. But so many people suffer from this kind of passive symptoms, sometimes chronically that those go unnoticed may develop into full fledged problem. Not many mental health professionals distinguish the passivity except lack of future plans and giving away prized possession. Those are deemed as symptoms of depression. But someone who never went or knew or thought about treatment can be high functioning and masking those by delving into dark and heavy themed arts during solitude. Loved this video.
I used to love creating stories and worlds with my friends, but now i find that I actively avoid those moments and instead reside myself to my world that i escape to in my mind. From daydreams, music, and sleeping, the worlds i used to visit are devoid of what made them so special, of what made me love each visit. Additionally, i find it harder and harder to be in some sort of corporeal form in those dreams, like i never existed and im just the third-person camera looking at how the world is, and the ficticious representations of my friends being able to enjoy their lives eithout me. How they are able to live life with hardships few and far between, how they always seem happy and upbeat when I'm just struggling to put on a happy face so they wouldnt get sad. Nothing happens out of pity, so there isnt any point in expressing what i have that weighs me down, or what has left me. I even find it hard to feel love towards the rare few who would do anything to ensure my saftey.
The timing of this Video is INCREDIBLE for me personally, as i have most of these signs and already know that i have "Passive suicide ideation" (now i know what it's called) Now I just need a video of how to escape this feeling, before i escape my life. At first i was joking myself, but as the feeling grew stronger, now i no longer trust myself and the thought of "acting" isn't too far..
Hi there, thanks for your comment! We hope this video create awareness around this topic. Just remember you’re not alone and it’s not early to speak up for help. Do you have anyone you could talk to? I know it’s not easy to open up but it takes small steps to find the right help. Don’t lose hope! 🩷
This is such a personal experience. This video is more about getting ready versus ideation. I would really be interested in a video about real suicidal ideation where you want to give up but don’t.
I saw Omori and clicked instantly (hope things get better for y’all, I’ve been in this situation before. And recently just got out of the deep hole of depression, just keep on fighting. One day…. One day you’ll make it out)
I have seen all of these issues within myself. Been in and out of therapy for years and honestly, nice to hear this. Rather, I have no hope left, but it is good to see that these things that I’ve been doing for years are in some way connected. I hope this information can reach people who can it help.
It's really good that you are highlighting these feelings. Because it's a dark wonderland and you can wander it for a long time waiting for anyone to notice and give you some kindness, affirmation, anything to change the equation. Even this video serves to show people who are so sad, so forlorn that others know and care😂. That can make all the difference in the world because most people who find themselves wandering through that dark world have gone a long time, too long with nothing, no signs of care from others. Thanks R
This video was very helpful. This is me. I’ve thought about it a lot, but have never made a plan or anything. I see two signs in myself: neglecting self care and not being excited about the future. I’ve been trying to be better about self care. And I’ve had an interest in dark and spooky things my whole life, so I’m not counting that one.
This sounds so much like me as a kid. I'm glad to say I'm doing much better now thanks to environment, medical & mental help. Looking back at how much farther I've made it than I had thought I ever would is also encouraging when the path ahead grows thorny again.
You know a few weeks ago I was trying real hard to understand WHY I was addicted to playing a few particular video games. Seeing this made me realize I play them because they are a reflection of how I feel inside. They reflect my insecurities and sins in some ways. Thank you for giving this to us.
I was there for so long. Luckily I sought professional help of my own volition. I'm definitely a lot better now than I was. I haven't had alcohol in many months possibly over a year now, i don't count the days as i have other focuses now. I'm still in the process of healing and growing though and that process may be endless, but I have always found reasons to go on and that helps a ton. My heart goes out to all who're struggling, may you find the spaces and peace necessary to do the introspective work it takes to heal. 🙏❤️
I cried my heart out until I'm bored, think every possible negativity of someone can think of me until I can't, i embrace and accept reality and let myself sunk down at the depth because i am tired of keeping myself up float in the middle of the ocean. I can always wait until someone spots me and help me pull myself back up, finally breath, and all that. I don't like when i open up to someone i was thought i could and they just reply with "Been there done that" no, you don't know what I've been through nor i do to you except i see that you're living the life opposite of mine.
One of our important projects we've worked on. This video covers the unnoticed struggles of passive suicide ideation, often overshadowed and overlooked. For anyone who is struggling, you are not alone. Please reach out for help. Help us share this important video message to save lives. If you know someone is struggling. We have a video on How to Help Someone Who is Suicidal might help you czcams.com/video/B7dKgg4Z9tg/video.html
I’m sorry
i have suicide ideation.
thank you for posting stuff like this. it can really help someone.
❤❤❤thank you so much for these videos ❤❤❤
The fact that i think my friend cmmited suicide an then this poped up scared me ngl...
For me it’s like : « I want to fall asleep and never wake up again »
Me too
can't relate more 🥺
Same here. I hate waking up everyday, specially on weekdays
I hate not going to sleep. I probably get 12 hours a week. I want to go to sleep, cease to exist and never have to be awake all night again talking to creepy men as a 9 y/o decoy. Sadly my insomnia is my greatest strength and weakness.
Same
The thing that stuck out to me was, "Loss of interest in future plans". I no longer make plans, and I have no hopes and dreams.
I kind of have plans but after a specific point they stop, like I hit a wall, and once they hit the wall I don’t see myself going further with anything. Like I want to get a job that pays well enough for me to pay off debt, and get a down payment on a house for my parents after that nothing, or at least the feeling that once that’s up for me to vanish
@@tikikara4222SCREW your ‘parents’! You do NOT exist for them!!!!! They do NOT deserve to have ANYTHING bought for them, especially not a fn HOUSE!
Hopelessness is a big deal, therapy is needed.
Same that and i forget to drink and I'm into dark things, i am 13 it's a sad reality
Same
Great. I thought I made such great progress in no longer being suicidal, but now I learnt I’m just low key suicidal.
Hey, me too.
Wanna make a pact? 🙂
real
Well its still an improvement from active to passive, keep it up, stay strog, sending you hugs
@@dijanailic7935 I will stay strog also.
@E4439Qv5 of course, both of you, life is hard, I know, believe me, but you gotta just keep swimming
Depression isn't a war you win. It's a battle you fight every day. You never stop, never get to rest. It's one bloody fray after another.
Edit: You may experience it differently. Some might win, some might not. Those who can't win feel like it'll never end.
I know first-hand that's what it feels like, but it's not true. Depression is considered in remission when a person's depressive symptoms are indistinguishable from those of someone who has never been depressed. This means that the person has been able to return to a normal level of social functioning. I have been in remission for decades. It CAN get better. Therapy and meds can help, and sometimes it's as simple as getting blood tests to see if there's some physical cause, like thyroid disease.
As a guy suffering from it,Yeah sounds like that,
@@applepear7006 ketamine and Meditation saved the day for me ♥️
Idk the days and weeks that I feel naturally content and happiness doesn't feel like a battle after experiencing years of treatment for clinical depression having to crawl out of the deepest pit of it that I had ever experienced.
bullshit. depression is a war you can win, it’s just hard to.
there’s people who are not fighting anymore, they won.
(*sees "suicide" in notification*)
(*opens immediately*)
Why is this me though????
Honestly, same
felt 😭
Me lmao
Yeah same
1:00 NEGLECTING PERSONAL CARE.
1:29 GIVING AWAY BELONGINGS
2:04 LOSS OF INTEREST IN FUTURE PLANS
2:29 DARK BOOKS, MOVIES AND MUSIC
3:16 DARK, ARTISTIC EXPRESSION
3:47 EXTREME RISK TAKING BEHAVIOUR
Besides the first two and the last one, everything (unfortunately) resonates
@@user-wo8vr1mf3x same here
I mean it aint (always) a bad thing to like dark art and/or music :) @@user-wo8vr1mf3x
The only things that don't resonate with me is two and the last one. Although kind half on the last one I did it but not to off myself just to cope.
Other than 1 and 2, that is me, but I am not suicidal, nor depressed. I never found dark things scary. Scary is a romantic comedy. I listen to creepy pasta to go to sleep.
“Ever wondered how many silent battles go unnoticed?”
No, I live them every day
I don't bother counting them any more.
I doubt I can even count that high.
I am medicated for depression.
I have ambitions for my future.
But sometimes things get to me, just get to be too much.
When that happens, I find myself wishing I could disappear from the world, dissolving all my responsibilities and finally giving me peace.
I don’t want to die. I am terrified of death. It is a constant thought at the back of my mind.
But sometimes I’d just like to be gone.
I feel that. You don't want to die, but your mind keeps mentioning the option every time things seem too overwhelming. It's scary. You want it to stop.
Keep going my friend, I'm trying to
@@MxNEWCASTLE Best wishes to you.
I get it. I have the feeling of being trapped... it's like being in a large body of water with all of these heavy chains and ropes tied to you. You struggle to keep your head above water. Whenever you free yourself of one of the bonds, you find several more that attach to you.
Or they're knots.
But what if? What if the person resigns themselves to their "fate"and allows themselves to be dragged beneath surface. Down to the icy depths below.
@@Kokopilau77 I wish you peace.
Omori detected: I have been summoned
Lmao
Lmao
Lmao
Lmao
Lmao
It is sad many blankly ingore warning signs to acting ignorant to someone "they'll be okay" or "they always do this" struggling some people don't have anyone.
It's sad when they say it will pass
Only God accepts you when your light is dimmed 💗 only God can save you from the dark night of the Soul phases , only God is enough ❤
@@Lu-ot8hs please keep your religion to yourself or in church please.
@@Lu-ot8hsHas it ever occured to you how God saves no one whose pockets are empty? Whose surroundings are filled with silence and loneliness?
I don't want to insult you or your God, neither did me wrong. But I've been told that so many times I've come to wonder "Then why did he bother saving my executioners too?"
I have no one that i can trust on this to get help and i dont my family to know my problem it could only bring more
For me I don't want to die but at the same time I don't care if I do.
Same
Sadly yes, me too.
I've been like that a lot
It’s not even a feeling it’s a state of being
😞 I went from wondering "what would people say if I weren't around"
To "if i could just not wake up"
To "This is how I'll do it"
Those feelings have passed now
I struggle with passive suicidal ideation, so much so that I catch myself saying things to myself like “I just wish the world would end” or “I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up.”
It comes and goes depending on what happens. At its worst, it feels like a noise inside of my head that won't stop. And my mind feels like it goes at war with my body, where my mind wants to give up but my body is fighting to keep moving. I ain't got to that point in a while, but it's a feeling that haunts me.
Oh crap. I just did the second part tooqq
@@LadyOfTheEdits 😞 I hope you're talking to someone
@@theinitial Told my psychologist. That's about it
Man, you guys went from subtle OMORI references to... literally Something on the thumbnail. Definitely an apt video to choose to do that with.
psych2go s milking omori, isnt it obv?
me and niko were laughing about this.
To me it also reminded me of jjk
Psychologists and mental health workers when an Omori fan walks in: 🤑🤑💵💵💸💸
@@shroomer3867 btw the therapist still hadnt realiesd i know omori💀
fr
I struggled to even start writing this commentary. That's how hard and close this video hit me... Everything except artistic expression had flew just an inch away from my heart. Last few months were hardest in my life for now. And I am only 18 years old.
I appreciate your content, and I'd love to see another video, but on how to help going through this time. Because, even though I am generally feeling like leaving, I am still trying to think logically, and ensure myself, that my path will be brighter right around that turn, after that week, or when I will take that conversation.
I hope I will stay strong and nobody will give up, too. Because if we give up... Then who's gonna support our loved ones? Who's gonna tell stories about our hard times? Who's gonna say that meaningful good morning or goodnight, or good game, or thanks, or bless you?
If we were treated poorly, means we should treat the world better. Who's gonna do it, if not the brightest flame that ignited in darkest void?
Stay alive my friends. And remember, no matter how lonely you feel, there's people out there, who's gonna help you. Just ask.
Like imagine if you had such a powerful imagination that you could imagine a suicide and you imagined it so strongly that it would physically materialize right in front of you. That's literally what is happening. The floor you're sitting on is literally that.
Let's see my stats.
6/7 severe depression.
3/5 passive suicide ideation.
100/10 the fear of change.
I'm stuck in a life that I haven't wanted for the last 19 years.
Sending the best wishes. Everything will be better💜
@@user-jr8jq8mx8y it wont. Just a lie happy people say 'cause they dont know how it is
The quickest way to change your life... is to change your life.
@@eyeofsauron2812 sounds cool. thing is, if you went through some heavy shit before hitting adulthood, to change your life would require changing your self. and tell you what, the experiences you go through can form some nasty defence mechanisms to cope with a world that doesn't care about you. plus, if you made it all the way to 20+ without jumping onto the forever train and have no friends you have zero external motivation to change anything. if you have given up somewhere along the way, internal motivation does not exist either. if you can solve this riddle, good luck. been trying for 21 years, unsure if i'm even able to.
The fear of change is so real for me as well
Sometimes I wonder how is it that so many guys out there are living life in easy mode, while I’m stuck on hard as if the universe has some kind of vendetta against me. Feels like the universe has singled me out for a string of unfortunate events, a perpetual cycle of bad luck while everyone else gets all the breaks. I honestly feel that I was born into the wrong universe, where I feel so out of place, like I don’t belong here. But then again, sometimes I’d like to think that maybe it's just life's way of throwing challenges our way, testing our resilience and perseverance. It's not easy, but sometimes the hardest journeys lead to the most meaningful destinations.
Hope. Hold on to it. You never know how it could save you.
No, God loves you. He is also pretty evil. Ever read the Bible? God loved Jobe.
@@Peach.cobblerliving without hope is much more freeing. I have not had hope since 2003 and am better for it. Dashed hope is much worse.
@@hicknopunk so living life is better when you’re hopeless? I don’t understand.
Felt that
Don’t need to watch this to know I got it. Had it for years now.
Successfully ended my life only to be found by my sister, I won’t ever try again, don’t want her to go through losing me too anymore, but I do genuinely not care about dangerous things or situations like I used too. Found I have to try to remind myself to watch what I’m doing now.
I know dying doesn’t “fix” anything. Only passes on the pain I feel to another. It doesn’t change that I’m just so tired of feeling so much pain all the time.
nigga how u type if u dead
I've been dealing with a few problems recently; last year I landed a great job and was enthusiastic about finding a place to live on my own. I made a deposit on an apartment and was ready to move in and then I had a seizure out of the blue. First time in over 22 years. I had my license taken away for 6 months and I felt trapped and alone. I had to be driven to and from work every day and I was depressed all the time. I recovered though and I'm back on track with the support of everyone around me. Never think you're truly alone in this world. You're not. There is always someone to talk to and no one wants you to die ❤️
A dear friend left this world on his own foot last month. He planned and talked about this to me because he knew I wouldn't judge him, having tried twice in my teens. He didn't go through this phases exactly but he did tell me he felt trapped. I love you, my heart is broken, I hope you're not in pain anymore
I'm so sorry, I can't imagine what it must feel like to know, and be powerless to stop it. He had his mind set.
Bless you.. 😢
My friend hung himself when we were young it’s a terrible business, and here I am years later having lost everything myself, I sometimes think about joining him
I experience passive suicidal ideation every day, and I have since childhood. For me, dark or heavy music has been a major comfort to me. It was the first time I realized that other people understood what I feel, and I didn’t feel so alone anymore.
Same. It's normal. I would not understand any other temperament. Realistic expectations make it hard to be positive. Lol
I just feeling so much less worse when I stopped listening to music with sad lyrics
I have all those signs.
Me too. I'm 41 years old and have been like this since i can remember.
Yeah I feel so comfortable in my dark bubble. When I try to get away from it I feel anxious like I have to keep going/working/struggle to stay out of the dark bubble.
Omoriii ♡♡♡
Besides that i truly pray for everyone going through something silently
1- Neglecting self care
2- Giving away belongings
3- Loss of interest in future plans
4- Relating to dark books, movies & music
5- Dark artistic expression
6- Extreme risk taking behaviour
Since Mom died, I have a bit of #1, #3, & #4. We lived for each other. The "emptiness" is far worse than I expected, when no one loves or cares about you, and you have no one to love or care about. What's the point of continuing without a purpose or even a useful function?
@@elultimo102
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I hope & pray you heal and live a life that doesn’t feel like an autopilot mode. Until then, take one day at a time. Take care
Great, I have three of these things in the list. Seems I'm not out of suicide troubles yet. 😅
Admittedly I have #4, but I've always sort of been interested in dark books, movies, shows, and video games (music, not so much-- with exception of a couple of songs from Skillet). On the other hand, I have plenty of craft projects and room redesigns planned for the next couple years.
I see it in my patients as missing appointments, not taking their medications, continuing to smoke despite slowly losing a leg from vascular disease, delaying coming in with gangrenous wounds, refusing preventive measures such as colonoscopy to remove polyps and prevent cancer, ignoring breast masses, etc. Passive suicide shows itself as giving up. They often seem despondent and getting them to interact is difficult. They frequently have little to no family or friends to help them. All of these are warning signs and their physicians need to ask if this is a means of subtle self harm.
This is a really helpful list of examples, because depression doesn't always show as marks on your skin. Sometimes, it also shows up in missed meals, or not accepting gifts. Sometimes it just seems like excessive humbleness. But we have to see it in order to help it. So thank you for listing subtle ways it can show.
I notice there was no mention of the cost even if one has some health insurance for treatment. In fact there is no mention in your post of any economic issues that increase rapidly.
May I please have your words on how you deal with it?
Patients are fictional. Do you think you/others are a fictional thing(s) or something?
@@stapleface4147 the patients are the ones hurting, keeping that in mind helps to maintain compassion. Sometimes taking the time to hold their hand and listen is enough for them to trust and begin to believe that someone cares about them. I explain everything in terms they can understand. I never guarantee outcomes because complications of surgery happen despite everything being done correctly. But I also make sure they know that I will not leave them until they are well, and for those who are terminal, I will support them until the end. I was trained to care for the sick and dying, and I don’t abandon them. My practice is a mission and my patients know that. It’s a journey that will hopefully lead to better health, and ideally better emotional wellbeing. I do a lot of teaching to my patients, but also my students and nurses. A team effort goes a long way to making people feel secure and safe, and is necessary to heal.
The dark book thing was just my entire college experience. EVERY book that english/writing classes would have us read would center on death. I never enjoyed it, but it kept going and going... I'm so glad I graduated.
Didn’t actually read the title, I saw Omori and clicked. Will still watch through
Honestly, my sadness comes out in short waves. On any given day, I’ll either be happy, or wanting to never return to the world.
Same, like a flickering flame struggling to stay alight...
exactly, sometimes it flares bright but only for a little while, sometimes it nearly goes out but never does, most times it just flickers enough to show it is still there but not enough to really burn.
I have never related to someone's comment this much. That is exactly how i feel most days, too.
I really struggled bad with active suicide ideation a few years ago, and this past year I’ve noticed so much change and I’m finally breaking that chain of negative emotion and feelings. I didn’t think there was a way out, but there was! There are people there for you who care no matter what, you just have to find them! It does get better ❤️
Thank you 😊
Hi how does active suicidal ideation feel like please tell me your experience I’m having passive suicidal
😂 how pathetic & irrational to place YOUR happiness in the idea that others claim to give a fck about you, you weren’t suicidal, you’re just another infantile loser that had nobody to play with at the moment. Clearly your IQ is far too low to ever actually contemplate 💀. It’s MUCH deeper than not having ‘friends’, ugh… I can’t even imagine being this dumb.
@@wilsonanimates6362she never had ANY Active Ideations, she’s just another idiot whining for attention.
It started again for me i ask myself some question and see some truth
I’ve struggled with persistent depression for roughly 10 years and among my ups and downs it really helped to have an outlet or someone to talk to when i felt like it was time to end my life, i still struggle but each time i stand up again after feeling at my lowest i feel so much better. please don’t end your life whether planned or on a whim in the darkness you will eventually find the light
I'm not the only one who got recommended this video by the algorithm, and it's an important video. But not everyone who needs it will see this video! If you have someone you know struggling, please send them something!!
On Valentine's day of 2022 I attempted suicide, I was in my senior year of high school and was in a really dark place I honestly thought I was never gonna see the day of my graduation, I stayed with my sister for weeks. I didn't go to school for almost two weeks (I had both online classes and in the building classes) when I came back I was honestly surprised with the people who realized my absence and asked if I was OK and my mom (who wasn't the best when it came to the topics of mental health) had my clothes neatly folded and my room which was messy cleaned I honestly felt and still do feel guilty. I'm now 20 turning 21 this year and have a son now I still struggle with my mental health but please if you are in this dark place it gets better. Trust me when I say that people will notice your gone and will miss you. Please keep going keep fighting you are strong and I'm proud of you. ❤❤
Lucky you.
Imagine not having any friends or family 😕
@@thesilentknight4554🫂🫂🫂
Dear stranger, I hope that your life will be better soon and filled with good memories. I hope that you will have enough hope in your life to learn and want to live again because it might feel like you are just surviving day to day(I understand the feeling). I care for you and I hope that we can get through this negative point in our lives!
YOU KEEP ON USING OMORI AND I BLOODY LOVE IT
Thats how i even found this video i searched the channel name to see the omori thumbnails lol
they're married to omori tbh
It’s a fantastic representation of the dark parts of the human psyche and regret. I don’t blame them one bit!
I will need to google "omori". I might be too old to know anything. (Late 30s and so far had a life of work, more work, and despair.)
I've struggled with this for a very long time, I thank you for making this so I know it's something real and not just in my head
I used to struggle with passive suicide ideation for almost 20 years (started at age 12). You know what the most messed up part was? I didn't want help. I felt stuck in an endless loop of hopelessness and because it was all I knew, that loop became my comfort zone. It was the only thing that made me feel SOMETHING.
Then I turned 30 - an age I somehow always thought I'd never reach. That's when I decided that something had to change.
I finally overcame it by forcing myself, DRAGGING myself to therapy, no matter how much I hated it and how strongly I resisted the idea that things could get better. It was an ordeal, but in the end, I'm glad I did it. Now I'm the one who wants to ensure others that yes, it CAN get better. You might be like me back then and absolutely despise that phrase, but damn it, it's true. It CAN get better. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, so many of us have loved ones that have struggled in this way with their mental health🫂❤️🩹...It helps us better understand & ultimately more effectively help🌞👍🏻.
I occasionally have thoughts of suicide. Sometimes my mind tries to glorify it like it's the greatest form of release. I would fail anything and then I'd hear "you are a failure so love it or die." I have been fighting these thoughts off; I am better than before. Even when I thought I would never become anything worth it, I decided to give myself one more year to turn it all around.
I don't regret it.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just a glitch in the system. Like there was a mix-up at the cosmic factory where I ended up in the wrong reality. It’s tough living my life like I’m out of sync with the world around me, and I start to question everything, wondering if there’s some hidden purpose or meaning behind it all. Life is just a series of random events, leaving us to navigate through it without clear answers.
@@gopremiummedia29455well everyones here for a purpose, sometimes I- actually more often then not accidentally slip into derealization and feel like I’m very focused on a device screen and I’m trying it to pull myself away from the screen back to reality but I fall back into… this once again…
@@gopremiummedia29455that’s exactly why we live it. The mystery and challenges, the confusion and chaos… being a misfit doesn’t make you a mistake. Life is a jumble of random crap, and you should live to see what happens when you beat the game. Don’t quit early, or you’ll never know the storyline.
@JL15545 I don't know if you're religious or not, but I encourage you to pick up a Bible and read the book of Psalms. That particular part of the Bible is extremely comforting. I also encourage you to pray to God. He will hear you. And He will help you.
@@SirSonic900 No. He won't. I was raised with religion, and I've never once gotten anything good from it. All I got was a bunch of toxic (but well-meaning) people telling me I was broken just for being how I am. That I was going to go to hell just because of factors of my biology that are completely beyond my control. It's part of the reason I'm depressed now.
I do understand you mean well. And it's good that you want to help people. We can always use more kindness in the world. But telling them to trust in some magic sky guy to solve all their problems for them isn't that helpful. If your legs are broken, you don't just pray for them to heal and then hope. You use casts and crutches, or a wheelchair, so that they're able to heal, and you make sure to take care of them. There are reasons we take medicine when we're sick. Or go to doctors.
I eat healthy well balanced meals, i keep up with my hygiene, workout regularly, and from the outside i know i look like a well adjusted and optimistic person(i was actually described as optimistic before, not sure where they got that from) but i have moments like this one right now where i just feel like dying, or making a wish to have never been born.
Nothing happened today to trigger these thoughts. Nothing has to happen to trigger these thoughts, they just pop up when they decide they want to. I was fine today at work, i was listening to music and a song came on my phone that i listened to a thousand times before and sung along to. I was singing along to it and then the lyrics just hit me out of nowhere(the song was "So Called Life" by 3 days grace)
I hate that i could go from feeling fine(not particularly sad or particularly happy) to feeling like i want to die in a matter of minutes, for seemingly no reason at all. All it takes is a fleeting thought, maybe a line from a book im reading, a song im listening to, or simply observing other people, for me to feel this way.
My life feels meaningless and all i have to look forward to in the future is pain and misery and being stuck in the same place ive been in for the past idek how long, all i know is i cant recall a time ive ever felt genuinely happy to be alive. Even as a child. Im 25 years old now. Sometimes i wish for my life to end, most of the time i feel fear and despair at the thought of my own death.
All i know is, i cant stop thinking about death, my death, the death of my loved ones. I cant stop thinking about how inadequate i feel. I cant stop thinking about the possibility of developing an illness, facing financial ruin and ending up homeless, being stuck at a job that makes me feel miserable, and being stuck in the same place im in now, lonely and dealing with feelings of meaninglessness.
Even as a child i struggled with loneliness. I was surrounded by a lot of fake friends. Between the fake friends and my family treating me like i was a terrible child, i learned early on that i was an unlikable person.
As an adult, i have acquaintances and people i talk to at work, but i dont have any friends. Out of all the worries in my head, its the fear of never finding my tribe and the knowledge that my loved ones would one day die(making me truly and completely alone) that fills me with the most despair.
If i was never born, if my parents never thought to try for a third(a third child they could barely afford among other things) i wouldnt have to go thru any of this. I wouldnt exist, i wouldnt have to suffer. I wouldnt have to face death(which is the biggest suffering of them all)
Why couldnt they have stopped and think and asked themselves if having a third child was a good idea? I couldve been spared all of this.
Now i must sit here a suffer until its my time to die, a moment i both fear and long for.
Literally me to the T. I get good grades, I have a social life and I’m a very active person. I get my home chores done and a good relationship with my siblings and family. But I just really really want to die I even have a plan’s of how I’d kill myself. But then again I really want to live. I want to live so bad and I want to be okay. I want to wake up and hear birds chirping. I try sooo sooooooo hard to be the best person I could be for myself and for others but I can feel myself rotting.
I understand. I too eat healthy, well-balanced meals, and take care of health issues which I do not choose to die if they take their course. At the same time, I feel it would have been better had I never been born (I was conceived under some bad/unthinking conditions). I was an identified problem, and the least-favored. I have only had a few friends over the course of my life, although I've had many acquaintances. I never really "fit in" to any group. I've gotten over loneliness into solitude, for the most part. I'm not sure just why. Let me tell you that age does not help matters, except in developing coping skills to deal with the lonely and pointless issues. I've had a few close calls with death - mostly that I did not cause nor could I have reasonably prevented - and.... well... I don't consider myself "lucky".
I'm so sorry you're going through this and dealing with so much hurt and confusion. I'm in no way trying to diagnose you when I say this but have you looked into the possibility of bpd or at least discussed mental health with a professional? It came to mind when you described so many shifts in the way you think and feel. I hope you can find the right resources to help you grow and am certain things will get better my friend, even if that's impossible to see now. I was in a similar state for years due to my mental health and I wanted nothing more than to escape my head and the world, but was also scared of death. Very slowly some amazing changes came into my life and gave me opportunities to heal. I wish I could reassure my past self and give her some hope. Keep pushing on! You're a fighter and one day you'll look back at yourself with so much admiration♥️
The issue here is thinking that ''I'' existed before your parents had a child, nothing was done to you, you are what you make of it and shape yourself with.
YOu're not suffering, you're living.
You couldn't be spared because to be spared you have to be alive in the first place, all of your issues is just small change in perspective and understanding, even fear is a fantastic feeling compared to not existing, and losing your life means nothing if you don't even remember the fear in the first place
@@Redcloudsrocks If you are alive, even under the most fortunate circumstances, you suffer. If there is no "you", there is no "you" to suffer. If we live, we have joy, even under the most horrendous circumstances. If there is no "you", there is no one to be deprived of such suffering.
This is a truly incredibly well-made video. I can relate to pretty much all points made. It’s a very important topic for sure.
I’ve been there, multiple times, but somehow every time I managed to get back up and find a way to go on.. It always starts with gradually increasing self-neglect for me. Realising that I'm unable to plan ahead further than a week or two has definitely been a noticeable and frightening thing during those times. It’s also usually the thing that scares me out of it and pulls me back to normal. Having a routine has helped a lot, it’s been a couple of years and hopefully many more 😊
it’s been a lot of ups and downs the last maybe 8 years but only got worse after i lost my best friend in a motorcycle accident back in november. the constant battle it is to even get out of bed and do the things we loved to do together. our love of cars and my job in the industry remains a struggle even now. i’m now going to therapy to help start my healing process
I think about this a lot. I push aside my wants, needs and happiness for everyone around me. Even if I don't consider them a close friend or loved one. I'm so busy wearing a mask I don't remember myself anymore. And I hate every aspect of my life but I can't escape any part of it.
I'm crying the OMORI thumbnail
SAME 😭
the only reason I clicked this lmaoo
@@grandpas_ashessame also its here -> 0:59
Been watching your videos so I could understand more people better whenever I look at their eyes and their actions. But I never knew I had so many traits that was related to the video whether it was good or bad. I always tried to understand others, but I never got the time to understand myself deeper and better. I'm glad I know more things about myself and it also helped me get better to understand others
You are golden for sharing this with others. I wish I bad known years ago, well more years ago. Had to lose almost everything to realize.
Keep healing people and thank you for the video. 💔❤️☯️
I’ve had these feelings for so long that I’ve adjusted to always feeling depersonalized and empty. I honestly doubt I’d fight death if I was diagnosed with cancer.
I won't fight death if I got cancer.
I wanna thank you for making videos and raising awareness about darker topics of life and for letting people share their experiences. It means a lot.❤
Passive suicidal thoughts my thing through life. I even was once at a spot when these thoughts actually made me feel better. No attempts (some cutting took place later in life, though) but it still kinda hurts to end up thinking that way. I thought these thoughts were some kinda of a stress response of mine but there was a time with seemingly no stress and they've hit me once again (ah, crap, here we go again).
Lots of love and hugs (if it's acceptable) to everyone who is going through hard times. It's darkest before the dawn, and it does get better evenyually, sooner or later, so stay strong❤❤❤
This video... hit a bit close to home for me off the bat with neglecting personal care, compounded by the lack of interest in future plans. Sometimes my mom would ask me how long it's been since I showered. And, even though my job which is in sales gives incentives for people to perform well, I just don't have as big of an interest in achieving them as I thought I did after seeing other coworkers doing so much better than I am, as so often I make a call only for no response to happen. My ADHD and Autism aren't helping matters, but I'm not sure how to get my life back in order.
I teared up a bit after watching this video. 😢
using OMORI thumbnails on suicide videos is painfully ironic
Fellow depressed hazbin hotel fan
Me to
@@HaneenAlzahrani-od8xlayyy
absolutely love the omori consistencies in these, especially all your drawings, keep up the great work! ^^
Thank you very much for recognizing them!
So expensive and Relatable... I saw myself fall into a painting. 😮😅
@@Psych2go quick question, whats tour favorite omori character if you have one
@@ghostagonist Kel for the memes
@@ghostagonist Kel memes are canon
It's time for me to free myself from passive suicidal ideation
WE GOING ACTIVE GUYS 🕺🕺🕺💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥
"I don't want to live a long life. I'd rather die soon."
When I was suicidal in 2020, I found myself listening to older music. Like country bluegrass, soul, blues, more religious based themes. Johnny Cash, George Jones, Chris Stapleton, other contemporary artists like Kaleo, Hozier, classical pieces from old and new age, Mozart to Hans Zimmer, Cave and Ellis soundtracks, just general feeling of slowing down and reflecting. Sometimes you do that which your soul needs and music can be a blessing and a curse. For me, it helped me process complex emotions and kept me from wanting to do something, even as that's all I was thinking about.
Do You have a playlist?😊
Did u mean chonny jash in the names?
Music is one of the things that helps me the most.
Everyone here deserves to be happy in life. I spent my teens into my 40’s fighting this demon, too often not be heard or getting the wrong help. Once you find the right therapist for you and find the right plan to heal, you can be happy and an actually live life instead of dreading it. Please never give up the fight. You are all beautiful people who deserve to be living in the light and not drowning in the dark.
This video is great, now I know what to hide or what not to say in conversation.
Another video I saw a while back on survivors was what hit hard for me, they said “I didn’t actually want to die, I just didn’t want to be here anymore and feel all these feelings anymore”
I've had almost all of these characteristics in the past decade and nobody noticed or cared. But I'm still here and I'm glad to myself.
When you reach the bottom you understand that the only thing that matters in your life is You and your inner child
So I'm 27, I've never had the actual guts to take my own life, I don't have a terminal diagnosis.
But for the longest time ever probably since I was a teenager, I've been planning my own funeral. I know everything I want at it, the music, food, colour theme, everything.
I even went to a funeral directors a couple months ago and actively started paying and planning it.
I don't want to live, but I don't want to die either. I don't know if it's the constant imagining of people's reactions when they see my funeral notice go up or when they hear I'm dead but I cant stop.
I know it's incredibly selfish to wish this but I've always secretly wished for a terminal diagnosis so I have a way out in which nobody blames themselves.
I really understand that feeling, i just want to take care of some things in the next years for my familly and friends, i live near some dangerous zones and i planned to go in that way, so my closed ones will not take the blame
lmao same
I love how you guys illustrated the cat being there for the person at the beginning of this vid. I can relate to that. My cat has saved me from making permanent decisions many many many times over the years
"Struggle is just another words for growth." I love that sentence. Came here to explore my past self, struggles. Have been multiple times in a depression, and there have been signs indeed. Now I am more aware where it to can lead, besides knowing I am unhappy and need help. Is not now the case, but I seem sensitive to it.
Suicidal Ideation is a term I learned while hospitalized last year. Had NO idea there was a term to what I experienced my entire life. These episodes help me so much in learning there are actually terms for my experience and are ways for me to share with others how they can help me in my care plans.
Dark books, movies, music and videogames have helped me personaly in my struggles, i have a negative reaction to joyous, happy things as a result of my childhood, because i related depictions of perfect families with how unhappy i was with my family and now it branched into fictional romances, adventures, jobs, etc
mid 30s, dwelled into a lot of sciense and podcasts from everyangle while learning to finally parent myself i find thiks channel incredibly helpful, like a co-parent xx
As someone who has struggled in the past due to traumatic backgrounds, I'm able to say I'm in a fairly better state now.
I'm happy for the warnings for those who need it. But if I wasn't in a good enough space, I know not to watch what is a very heavy subject. When I'm in a good space, I'm able to cry about a heavy topic and get on with the next.
My ideation got better once I distanced myself from toxic people and situations. I uprooted my whole life to get to a semi stable state, and did so because I needed to heal.
To anyone reading this: your life matters. If people around you make you feel like it doesn't, then it's time to leave. YOU are your own greatest ally.. sometimes it takes learning to be selfish by putting yourself first in order to get to a brighter tomorrow. ❤
It's amazing what it does for people's mental health when they remove the toxic people from their lives...Even for those of us that don't struggle with any particular mental health conditions, it's hard on our mental health being around toxic types.
I have no problem openly admitting that I'm not fond of this world. However, I am fond of the many places, people, and experiences that can be found no other way than by living. It is this reminder that keeps me afloat when I'm weary and would love nothing more than to sink and forget about it all.
When I was having a serious episode, I started driving without a seat belt. It felt so liberating in a way I couldn't describe.
Beautiful soothing voice ... thank you 😊
I don't understand how people could even think about suicide I've had a miserable life I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle I can't escape I feel like I have wasted my life doing things that don't make me happy I've never had anyone I can say has truly been there for me and that I can express my feelings to except my grandmother who passed away from cancer when I was only 12 but never once have I thought about suicide and I might cry myself to sleep alone at night I wake up every morning with a smile on my face
I resonate a lot with this. I often have these sorts of thoughts, even without an actual plan.
2:34 i've been watching suicide videos lately or really just gore in general
definitely been literally for sad music long ago it's so good when you actually understand and relate to the lyrics
The mirror moment was terrific for me
Thanks for the video
To anyone struggling. Suicide is NEVER an option. Your life can and will get better if you talk about it or look for help. Try and start looking after yourself to start off. I need to do these things too but im not going to ever 100% give up. Neither should you. You got this
I am glad that you specifically talked about "passive" ideation. In academic books only ideation and intent is found and they are fluid like intent to ideation and ideation to intent. Active ideation includes fantasies and intent is means. But so many people suffer from this kind of passive symptoms, sometimes chronically that those go unnoticed may develop into full fledged problem. Not many mental health professionals distinguish the passivity except lack of future plans and giving away prized possession. Those are deemed as symptoms of depression. But someone who never went or knew or thought about treatment can be high functioning and masking those by delving into dark and heavy themed arts during solitude. Loved this video.
Speaking from expirience, the worst battles go unspoken. I love all of you people. Have a good night everyone. ❤❤❤
I can't think of a time I wasn't struggling with something. Even as a child, I don't think I was ever happy. I've got no memories of joy.
I used to love creating stories and worlds with my friends, but now i find that I actively avoid those moments and instead reside myself to my world that i escape to in my mind. From daydreams, music, and sleeping, the worlds i used to visit are devoid of what made them so special, of what made me love each visit. Additionally, i find it harder and harder to be in some sort of corporeal form in those dreams, like i never existed and im just the third-person camera looking at how the world is, and the ficticious representations of my friends being able to enjoy their lives eithout me. How they are able to live life with hardships few and far between, how they always seem happy and upbeat when I'm just struggling to put on a happy face so they wouldnt get sad. Nothing happens out of pity, so there isnt any point in expressing what i have that weighs me down, or what has left me. I even find it hard to feel love towards the rare few who would do anything to ensure my saftey.
The timing of this Video is INCREDIBLE for me personally, as i have most of these signs and already know that i have "Passive suicide ideation" (now i know what it's called)
Now I just need a video of how to escape this feeling, before i escape my life.
At first i was joking myself, but as the feeling grew stronger, now i no longer trust myself and the thought of "acting" isn't too far..
Hi there, thanks for your comment! We hope this video create awareness around this topic. Just remember you’re not alone and it’s not early to speak up for help. Do you have anyone you could talk to? I know it’s not easy to open up but it takes small steps to find the right help. Don’t lose hope! 🩷
Proud to say I've recovered from my demons via skateboarding. Helps to have a physical activity you can regularly do and socialize in.
This is such a personal experience. This video is more about getting ready versus ideation. I would really be interested in a video about real suicidal ideation where you want to give up but don’t.
My mental health has taken quite a nosedive recently, this was a comforting watch..
New to this page, i saw the cover and i had to watch. I do feel the same but, having the game on the cover had me intrigued.
I'm that person to ignore all of these signs in myself. Thank you for the helpful info.
I like to see that after all these years omori's influence is still going.
I saw Omori and clicked instantly (hope things get better for y’all, I’ve been in this situation before. And recently just got out of the deep hole of depression, just keep on fighting. One day…. One day you’ll make it out)
I have long ago accepted that I live for others rather than for myself.
It's not healthy. It's not good. It's a problem.
But it's a start.
I have seen all of these issues within myself. Been in and out of therapy for years and honestly, nice to hear this. Rather, I have no hope left, but it is good to see that these things that I’ve been doing for years are in some way connected.
I hope this information can reach people who can it help.
You should stay in therapy regardless of your mental state. Your therapist can notice serious mental issues before they get too serious.
It's really good that you are highlighting these feelings. Because it's a dark wonderland and you can wander it for a long time waiting for anyone to notice and give you some kindness, affirmation, anything to change the equation. Even this video serves to show people who are so sad, so forlorn that others know and care😂. That can make all the difference in the world because most people who find themselves wandering through that dark world have gone a long time, too long with nothing, no signs of care from others. Thanks R
I waited for video about this topic. Thank you! ❤
Your voice is SOOOOO soothing
Wow, i never knew that something could be so relatable...
STOP.
@@sunnysflowercrowntf?
This video was very helpful. This is me. I’ve thought about it a lot, but have never made a plan or anything. I see two signs in myself: neglecting self care and not being excited about the future. I’ve been trying to be better about self care. And I’ve had an interest in dark and spooky things my whole life, so I’m not counting that one.
This sounds so much like me as a kid. I'm glad to say I'm doing much better now thanks to environment, medical & mental help. Looking back at how much farther I've made it than I had thought I ever would is also encouraging when the path ahead grows thorny again.
You know a few weeks ago I was trying real hard to understand WHY I was addicted to playing a few particular video games. Seeing this made me realize I play them because they are a reflection of how I feel inside. They reflect my insecurities and sins in some ways.
Thank you for giving this to us.
I was there for so long. Luckily I sought professional help of my own volition. I'm definitely a lot better now than I was. I haven't had alcohol in many months possibly over a year now, i don't count the days as i have other focuses now.
I'm still in the process of healing and growing though and that process may be endless, but I have always found reasons to go on and that helps a ton.
My heart goes out to all who're struggling, may you find the spaces and peace necessary to do the introspective work it takes to heal. 🙏❤️
You make such amazing content, keep up the pace. You’re doing great.
Thank you so much!
I cried my heart out until I'm bored, think every possible negativity of someone can think of me until I can't, i embrace and accept reality and let myself sunk down at the depth because i am tired of keeping myself up float in the middle of the ocean. I can always wait until someone spots me and help me pull myself back up, finally breath, and all that.
I don't like when i open up to someone i was thought i could and they just reply with "Been there done that" no, you don't know what I've been through nor i do to you except i see that you're living the life opposite of mine.
Every single time I think my mental state is fine then I get recommended one of your videos and I realize how much I need a therapist
Thank you for this video!
You're welcome! Please go share this important message.
I just came for the narrator’s voice! It always makes me happy❤️🤗🤗
Amanda Silvera has another youtube channel if you like her voice
@@spicymemes7458 thanks!
the loss of interests in future plans and the consuming dark media that hits home for me also neglecting self care
i love this channel's thumbnails