Benzo Stories: Martha
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- Martha shares her story of benzodiazepine harm and healing for our #BenzoStories series.
Want to share your story? Go here: www.benzoinfo....
This video has been made available for informational and educational purposes only. This video does not substitute professional medical advice, and no doctor-patient relationship is formed through the video. This video is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. This video has been made available for informational and educational purposes only. This video does not substitute professional medical advice and no doctor-patient relationship is formed through the video. This video is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
I completely understand what you’re going through.
You’re not alone.
You’re Believed.
You’re Not Crazy.
Be here tomorrow. Keep going…
It does get better eventually.
Thank you for the encouragement
My mother has dementia- sometimes I forget almost as easily as she does. I keep losing stuff
Im 67 years old. You have NOT lost your productive years I promise. Keep going it will get better!!
Thank you
@rosep8481 hi, l am desperately trying to stop Ativan and tapering, is really hard , but so is staying on this drug. I'm 56 years old and worried that l may not get a chance to recover . Would you mind sharing your experience like what med and tapering, etc . Thanks, would be greatly appreciated
They don't tell you and turn around and blame, You. Klonopin is gotta be the worst. I've lost 15 yrs of my life because of this. Kids School things, graduation, and their mother dumped me. Tells them I just don't care about them.😟 Now they're older and realize what a cold shrew she is. The reason for my anxiety was her all along. Now I've been going through bind. Worse thing ever.
Stevie Nicks, whom we all know had some serious issues with cocaine,.but she said HANDS DOWN
the three years it took to get off if Klonopin were the
WORST YEARS OF HER LIFE.
And she said she was luckier than most ...
I've been addicted for 30 odd years and I'm just doing another benzo withdrawal again now ...I've lost everyone including 2 of my kids dad's and friends all dead before 40
@@Pot_o_Tee funny.. not funny that we're still alive and going through hell. Some of us get out punishment on earth. Only the good die young. I've lost a dozen friends all before 55.
Panic attacks . Go to therapy. Don't take Benzos. I feel for you. It happened to me. I was dealing with anxiety, but i new i wanted to take therapy because i new that was the right path. I wasn't even that bad. My husband insisted instead that i take the medication. I kept saying no, it just didn't feel right. I should have never listened to him. It ruined me, my life. It ruined relationships. Same i don't fix myself up either. My goodness i never needed drugs. Talk therapy is all i needed , i was functioning well. I listened to my husband, i stopped paxil after three days, and i felt sick, even after three days. I went to hospital and they gave me Benzos. It all spiraled of that . Horrific. I can't seem to fine my baseline , like i said i was dealing with, anxiety and pms symptoms before , these drugs, but it was easy fix. Know i feel likes im crazy , insane. I don't think ill make it. Im terrified to go to the mental ward, they put me in there twice, im traumatized by that. I never want to go there again. I just cry cry cry. Scream scream scream, don't feel life at all.
I believe you
I’ve been there, same as you. It’s the benzodiazepine not you.
You are strong. You’re mind is complete. It’s the drugs.
Don’t give up, never give up. You’re on the right path. Nothing else maters. Nothing
Keep decreasing, you’ll get there, it sucks but it’s worth it. 😁You’ll do it!!! You’ll heal.
These doctors need t be locked up - they throw those around like candy - for a paycheck ruining peoples lives - it’s Criminal prays for healing 🙏🙏💓
Thank you
When will I feel like a human again? It’s been so long. And almost daily I see people giving up and killing themselves.
Drink a lot of water. It helps more than you might think. Keep drinking the water.
Yep and no caffeine. But the worse thing Xanax is done to me is musculoskeletal issues. My bladder muscles hurt. My abdominals hurt.
I have anticipatory anxiety real bad. I even cancel my PT/OT or any doctors appointments that will charge me for not showing up if I don’t cancel within 24 hours because I just start freaking out.
I used to be fine - as long as I was on Xanax but it’s gotten worse. The bladder pain is unreal.
You know those bugs in your house - when you hit them - they curl up in a ball? That’s my anxiety. I tighten my muscles and my breathing changes.
I bought a book today. Hope it helps.
I do
GOD BLESS YOU! U CAN GET THROUGH IT. I AM ALIVE TO TELL YOU THIS
Thank you
I really am having a difficult day. I need a break. I know I just need a different perspective.
@@gracegrace1896 the break will come if you endure. I promise. Feel free to speak of your current symptoms....I may have a good suggestion or perhaps some good words at the very least
Martha... you are just an inspiration my friend! I'm tapering now and it's extremely hard... please keep up the great work!!! I know it's hard... but!!! We are there for you 🙏
Thank you
I commend you / we are the same age and have the same story. If you want to jump from Klonopin make sure you take an anti seizure Med for awhile. I’m not a Dr. But I’m told that once the benzos are out of your body it’s like waiting for a hair to grow back (something to do with the GABA receptors). Some people choose to stay on a low dose of a benzo for life as the w/d is so debilitating for the first year. When you do feel better get out and walk, eat right, etc. Doctors unknowingly get us physically dependent on benzodiazepines and then caught us off abruptly which is an absolute terror. If you can get a ride to AA or NA they will also help you. I know what you’ve been through and continue to go through. Thank you for making a video that’s very helpful to a lot of people. Empathy, Lisa 🙏❤️
Thank you
Cold turkeyed Klonopin in a rehab 13 years ago today because they said I had to. Bad idea. 8 months of hell. So bad that i went into a psych ward about a month and a half after the rehab. I wouldn't recommend cold turkeying but in some ways I'm glad it happened that way. Because I'm free of this drug. You're stronger than you think. You can do this I believe in you. Stay strong
Did you cold turkey or they used other drugs? Like phenobarbital?
I would rather get it over with too
@@ellaMel4632 they did not give me phenobarbital. They gave me blood pressure medicine clonidine. Eventually when I was in the psych ward a month and a half later they put me on Seroquel to help with sleep & made me fat 😆. Have since lost it. I remember one guy in the AA rooms talking about getting phenobarbital. Not me. It was hard. Sorry I'm just seeing your post today.
@@ellaMel4632 No phenobarbital. They put me on clonidine cuz my blood pressure was skyrocketing. I've heard of other people using the phenobarbital. A month and a half later in the psych ward they put me on Seroquel and an SSRI because I wasn't sleeping. Sorry took me so long to get back to you I'm just seeing your reply. I don't take anything now.
You deserve to be happy. I hope you receive as much support as you need. We all have been there and understand the indescribable Misery. You WILL get better. Hang in there. I know you’re not an addict and you are one of so many that by virtue of their doctor became physically dependent on benzos. Maybe talk to an addictionologist who knows what they’re doing. If they taper you quickly, chances are they do not know what they’re doing. But there are some wonderful Addictionologists out there. 🙏❤️😘
A nurse practitioner is helping me as of around October of 2023. She knows what she’s doing
Thank you for the encouragement
Im in tears hearing your story. I am sorry your kids treat you like they are. I think your a trooper and send u hugs and kisses ❤
I totally understand what you are going through. No one including my doctor believed me. He said i could come off the benzos in 2 months after 23 years of taking them. I no longer have him as my doctor. I wish you the very best.
I had a doctor tell me the same thing. He’s no longer my doctor either
my dr told me 2 weeks was safe after 20 yrs on klonopin for sleep. Took me 3 yrs of suffering and still have lingering symptoms. After that he no longer was my dr as well
Im sorry for the trouble these drugs put you through i too have gone through it akathisia and all the other symptoms but you will get through it never give up.
Applaud your advocacy. Keep going
I know that right now you can’t see an end to all of your suffering but I’m here to tell you that it will get better. I do believe that in time we will heal…I’m not 100 percent by any means, but I’m doing so much better than a year ago. Please know that you are not alone and know that you are strong, very strong. You wouldn’t have made it this far if you weren’t…hang in there…listen to your body when tapering…go as slow as you need to…
Thank you
I'm right with you! They put me on xanax and didn't explain how hard it would be to get off. Infact my dr got his controlled substance license suspended and I had to go cold turkey. Day 3 of that I didn't know who I was, I was call my family the wrong names..short story I had to be hospitalized. So please don't give up. You are in my thoughts. These docs need to be held accountable!
Thank you. I’m sorry that has happened to you
Martha, bless your sweet soul.. I totally understand your frustration..... *Hugs*
Thank you
Don t give up on you, you are courageous and loving ... tap slowly...your husband is there bravo
Thank you
Sending you positive vibes, love, friendship and the strength of Will to get through this!
I was on the equivalent of 8mgs clonazepam a day. (That’s around 160mgs Valium.)
I’ve made it to 30mgs. You WILL get through this. I promise you 💯 you WILL succeed and you WILL get your life back!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I tapered off 4 mgs of k. And I'm tapering the last mg. The horrific side effects eased up because i would hold. So don't give up because it takes time but we heal
Thank you for the encouragement
How did you manage insomnia? It's almost killing me 😢
Klonnopin made me severely depressed and their suggestion was more harmful drugs. I’m so sorry you went through this. You’re not alone. I’m close to off and the depression is gone.
How close? I’m wondering when I’ll ever feel human again
@@gracegrace1896 off now 17 days
I'm from Florida and this is the exact same thing that happened to me. And I wish I could have just kept drinking and self medicating with Jack and coke
You are fortunate enough to have begun to get better
I have withdrawn enough to know that I am not doing that again. I will settle for a dirt nap instead of feeling that way again
I can relate to every thing you are going through. I am 11 months off K. It will get better. Sending love and healing energy!!!!!!
Absolutely. The sad for me is that I new that I didn't need medication, because what I was dealing with was all internal emotional pain. I new therapy was the answer. I listened to my husband I kept saying no no no. That's not what I need. I gave in I took paxil 3 days then stopped felt sick . Took me to hospital gave me Benzo and Lexapro felt sick sick. My life is ruined.
They will come back around God bless you and your family 🙏❤️
Thank you
The worst part is no one can understand you. They believe its just normal anxiety.
I am from India i am a 25 year old male on my 25 th age i was diagnosed MDD GAD and doctor put me on klonopin for two years and stopped again after one year my worst situations leads to retake klonopin 1 mg then after 1 and half an year i tapered and stopped but I became suicidal in my thoughts extreme depression again doctor gives me klonopin i am confused doctors telling this is like insulin for diabetic patients what should I do I want to stop it or long term use of less dose is better choice i don't know what to do i am scared of the side effects what happens if I continue for years and years please some one give a suggestion and I am also having worsen depression
It's horrible I was having anxiety and emotional stress, I ended up having mini panic attack,so I went to hospital and asked for paxil ssir , my Drs were not pushing it on me,but I told Dr. I'm not sure if I'll take them . I went home with the prescription and the next day I got my sleep and felt much better,so I informed my Dr that I would not take medication,he said that fine ,you don't have to. Anyways I didn't end up throwing them in the garbage ,which I should have. I told Dr that I would be taking talk therapy instead he said fine. I started my therapy in March 2023 I was triggered by some situation and anxiety was still there , I told my husband that it takes time to heal , I new that the therapist would help and I was addressing some of the things that were giving me anxiety and was starting to feel a little better, I guess my husband wanted a quick fix or I think he panicked because he would see that I was still having anxiety that he insisted why don't you take the medication . I said "no no no" I prefer therapy I wanted the natural way. He kept insisting insisting. I don't know why I gave in ,the biggest mistake of my life. April last week 2023 my life changed . I took medication for three days , I stopped because I said what am I doing,well after I stopped I didn't feel well at all I started crying and I felt like dark clouds came of me. I told my husband to stay home,that I needed him to stay home. Next day I went to hospital ,they put me in mental hospital for 3 days, which was traumatic. In the hospital they gave me Benzo ,I was a little panic being in mental hospital, so Dr said "I have something that could calm you down. He must have said it was Benzo,but because I was panic, I didn't hear him that well , anyways I took the Benzo for 2 days. Once I got out of hospital they sent me home with Lexapro. The beginning of May 2023 first two weeks I took it ,for two weeks. I felt horrible,Dr. Said keep pushing through,I just couldn't,he told me go back to hospital. I ended up going back to hospital . The Dr told me to stop without tapering and have me Benzo to calm down. Which it did, she sent me home with Benzo prescription . I kind of had an idea about Benzo ,so I told my husband that I didn't want to take the Benzo,but I was already messed up by the Lexapro by this time , my husband would see that it would calm me down,so he kept saying "take your Benzo take your Benzo or else I'll send you back to mental ward" I never wanted to go there again,so I would take them off and on. I tried telling him the dangers of Benzo, he would not listen ,he said Dr prescribe them to you , they are the Drs. . I would take them for like a week then stop. From April to September I only took them like around 60 times . I stopped Sept 15 2023. I'm not the same I don't laugh, I have trauma from being in mental ward and taking the medications. I can't find my baseline. I don't have motivation, my sleep was destroyed I mean destroyed, I cry ,cry, I don't have my personality. The bad things is that before any medication , when I was functioning like a human being ,I had emotional stress and anxiety ,so know I don't know what is me or the medication or if all this bad experience just made what I was already dealing with 1000 times worse. I am fighting for my life ,had really bad suicidal thoughts, I was extremely terrified. When I was normal before I took medication,yes I was dealing with anxiety and emotional stress, but I had my hope , I could experience joy, I could laugh, my sleep was great,I would exercise and never in my life ever ever felt hopeless and that I should end my life. That happened after April when I went through the whole experience. My sleep is not good I'm trying not to give up. I can't seem to connect with Jehovah God. I seen not to fee good feelings. It's been 5 months no drug free ,but I'm still not me. The bad part is I can't distinguish, what is the true me
This is Martha- different google name. I would suggest you find a benzo wise provider on the benzodiazepine information coalition. They will help you.
Wow I just realized you’re from India. Have you ever read The Ashton Manual? It’s a start. Maybe find a doctor who can prescribe a liquid form of the medication. I am reducing 5% once a month with liquid and using and syringe to pull it out of the bottle. Sometimes I even hold a month. That’s how slowly I am going. Before I was working with this nurse practitioner, I was tapering on my own by shaving powder off a pill and weighing on a jewelry scale to only reduce by 5% once every 4-6 weeks. Sometimes 8 weeks. I tried to go faster but I still need to function as I am a caregiver for my mother and an adult son who has been also harmed.
And if you go to that link, there is an international link. Mostly coaches, not doctors, but tapering coaches will be able to help you. Please try and keep trying until you find all the information and help you can find. I had to do that and still do.
Please read and know what you’re doing. Maybe join benzo buddies or get a coach so you
OMG I hate to say, 4mg is a huge dose! Keep going. Don't go back up.
I will keep going this time. And now I have liquid form and a nurse practitioner helping. The psych docs used to tell me that 4mg was a small dose. 😢
Hang in there Martha, I know its shear hell, but you know what you made it today to say how your doing, for me It was a second by, minute, by hour, by day and I f**ing did not want to feel another anything moment but your here, hang in there oh magnesium, camomile tea is good for relaxing.💜
Thank you
Do you have legal medicinal cannabis in your state?
Yes, but have not done that direction.
What am I to do? I’m doing the best I can and everyone gets mad at me for being negative when trying to explain that I need help. I’m moving my mother this week for the third time since October 19, 2023. It’s all on me to make arrangements and get her money moved around and pack up. I’m moving boxes and small things. I just don’t feel I can make this move this time but I have to.
But it’s difficult when family & friends say I’m too negative and compare me with others who are not going through what I’m going through. Even my doctor says I have to be more positive to rewire neurons or whatever. I’m so tired right now. How is one to be able to live a normal life while tapering?
Martha
I commend your strength
I have no idea how you manage to help your mother
I tapered klonopin also and was so sick even before hand. The panic attacks I had initially were situational, I was still functional and intact . Led to poly pharm eventually
My elderly mother is unwell
I cannot even see her or talk to her and she lives nearby
I do understand the pain. And the judgement of others is gutting, even from those wothin the withdrawal community .
I equate it to drowning, how can anyone possibly be positive or put a smile on their face. Thank god for your husband
Which part causes most symptoms wile doing the taper or when the taper has finished?
Terrible terrible😢😢. Hold on. You WILL HEAL!! Wait till you’re brain is back to homeostasis. ❤❤
Thank you for the encouragement
When does that ever happen?
What is kindling?
Hello. I’ve been on for 24 years. Let’s talk
25 years 1 mg x in tolerance taper next month
@@maripeterson176233 years I've been addicted...with the exception of a few torturess yrs withdrawals, how do we do this without dying
How
Old
Are you ? How long been on benzo ?
I am 58-years-old. 27 years
@@gracegrace1896 oh . Thats lot of years of addiction. Your withdrawal symptoms may last 4-5 years because of multi years addiction
@@gracegrace1896thank for reply
@@gracegrace1896 thats lot