Hikikomori and Poverty : My very poor days in my early 20s
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- čas přidán 27. 03. 2021
- Global Hikikomori Community (New URL): / discord
In this video, I talked about my period of extreme poverty in my 20s, right after I escaped from a severe Hikikomori.
今回は私が重度の引きこもりから脱出した直後の20代の「極貧時代」について主に話しました！
Hikikomori = shut in
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Hello. my name is Hiroshi Yamazoe. I'm Japanese, born in 1984.
I was a "Hikikomori"("social withdrawal" or "shut-in") for about 10 years, but now I have recovered a little.
I love traveling abroad. Traveling abroad has changed my "HIKIKOMORI" life. I have visited Western Europe, Asian countries, and Russia.
I will continue to travel abroad in the future.
Currently, I'm studying English. I'm struggling with it, but I will not give up!
And I'm seeking friends from all over the world. Thanks!
Hiroshi Yamazoe
Discord: / discord
Website: hiroshiyamazoe.com/
Twitter: / hiroshiyamazoe
Facebook: / hiroshi.yamazoe.509
Instagram: / yama00ci - Zábava
Glad you're still with us Hiroshi ❤️ Society needs honest people like you
Hello Balboa. It's been a while. Yes, I will continue to post my videos on CZcams.😊👍
Your story is inspiring. More people in USA should be as hard working as u. So happy u did not commit suicide when u were younger. U have become a very strong model for the other people like u. Also your English is very good. I should speak Japanese as good as u, lol.
Hello, I just found your channel. You are very inspiring. I'm a 35 year old woman from Poland with just middle school education. I had to drop out of high school because of anxiety and panic attacks and haven't been leaving my house much since. I would like to get a job someday too and be independent. I would love to visit Japan someday as well. Thank you for adding English subtitles, I can't understand spoken English sometimes (we speak Polish in Poland). Have a good day.
how are you doing these days....i have the same situation of anxiety as you but i am 21.can you tell how are you improving
Across the borders, we are same. I am in my 20s, unemployed, similiar childhood and currently living with parents
The fact that you managed to go from the lowest of the lows to becoming self-sufficient is very inspiring to me. When you have a dream set in mind and you stick to that dream you can accomplish great things.
I am glad you made something great of yourself as a CZcams influencer! If you had remained a hikikomori person, the world would have lost someone who contributes a lot of valuable information to society. Thank you for all you do to make the world a better place!
Similar to me! In the last year of university (I got a scholarship, I almost could not make it to the university), I did my last project. At that time, I got a job as a programmer. Two months before the first day of the job, my younger sister passed away. I brought her savings that was saved inside a piggy bank. The amount was around 6 USD, I used this to buy some breads and cheap foods for a month. With the bean food and rice from my hometown that my mother gave me, I managed to survive until I got the first pay out, in this capital city.
I rent the cheapest flat room sized 2x2 m with my only savings USD22. It was 3 years ago.
My parent does not know this.
Thank to my sister, tank to God!
But live must go on! I have to bring happiness, prosperity, and terminate the proverty of my family in the hometown. I have to provide them land.
It is my purpose being in this world.
You are so strong Hitoshi. Thank you so much for sharing your story!
The last point is such a key! If Mario didn't fall, there is no point in playing Mario. If you took social security, you'd still be in poverty and not experience the win of playing the game of survival. Very harsh point, but very very valuable lesson 👏
すごい経験をしていますね。なんと言えばいいのかわかりませんが、山添さんがこうやって発信しているのがとても嬉しいです。
勇気づけられる人はたくさんいると思います。僕もその一人です。
さとうさん見て頂いてありがとうございます！当時はリーマンショック直後だったので、みんな同じような苦労をしているのだと勝手に思っていました。生活保護に関する知識もなく、世界は北斗の拳のような弱肉強食の世界だと思いながら生きていました。無知でした。あのような貧困状態に置かれている人は殆ど居なかったのだと後で気付きました。辛かったけど、ユニークな体験が出来たという意味では貴重な事だったのだと思っています。さとうさんも順調にCZcams動画を追加しながらチャンネル登録者を増やされていますね。そして、さとうさんの動画にもコメントが毎回いっぱい付いているので、楽しみにしている方が一杯いると思います。お互いマイペースに継続できれば良いですね。👍👍
Another fantastic story my friend.
Thanks Lori lyn! I'm glad you took the time to see my story. 👍
Thank you for mentioning the parents. It’s clear parents in my opinion that they are the root of the problem.
I'm very sorry that you had to go through that Hiroshi, but I'm proud that you were able to use those difficult experiences to build your character. Being able to learn and grow from difficult experiences is the most one of the most important qualities a person can have.
I know it's still difficult sometimes, but I promise you if you continue to learn and grow, you will find long term happiness. I dealt with similar things in my early 20s, and I'm doing much better now. Sometimes I feel embarrassed that it took me so long to start living a normal life, but what's most important is that I'm always working to improve. I hope you find long term happiness too.
Take good care of yourself! Thank you for sharing this with us. ^_^
You are very brave, Hiroshi!
You give very good advices and I have taken it upon myself to recommend your channel to my friends who do not have jobs due to the current situation.
Greetings from Spain!
Hello. That's great! I'm glad you're introducing my channel to your friends! I am very privileged. 😄
I think it's very brave sharing these stories Hiroshi. You managed to survive on your ow which is extremely hard for people like us. I'm glad that your youtube channel is growing whenever i click on a new video you posted. Maybe that will help more people to understand what pushes people to become neets and hikikomoris
Hello blazeaster. Thank you for watching. Yes, I am very grateful that some of people around the world are interested in watching my videos. My channel is still very small, but I think it's very precious and meaningful that a couple of hundred people have watched and a couple of dozen people have commented. And I would be very happy if my video could give some hints about Hikikomori matter to some people around the world.
@@HirosiYamazoe i'm sure your channel will grow. people appreciate the honesty which is very rare to see on social media and video sharing sites
Thank you for sharing your story! You were able to build your life despite your difficult situation and that makes you a very strong individual :)
Hello. Thank you for watching!😊 I'm still a little weak person, but I think that painful experience has made me a little stronger.
You have reached 2000 subscribers, good job
Hello Мокоччи! Thanks. I am very happy about that.😊
Thank you for sharing your incredible story. Stories like this deserves to be shared to provide inspiration to those still struggling. Keep up the good fight!
Greetings Hiroshi, I had a very similar experience to yours. All the bullying eventually led me to attempt suicide. Your story has given me hope. And I commend you for not giving up.
Thank you for sharing your story, it was very brave and courageous to do so. It was honest, humble and insightful.
There are many levels to this life and I am happy that you found the strength to climb as this too gives me strength.
Thank you for sharing your story Hiroshi-san, this is no doubt very inspiring and really motivating .. It reminds me that the best teacher in life is indeed life experiences. And sometimes when people share like this kind of story, it also helps to shed some light to other people's life who are probably going through a long and dark tunnel in their life, like me. So, I am really grateful for your bravery & efforts on each of your videos. Hope everything goes well for you Hiroshi-san !
Hello! Thank you for watching. I'd be very happy if my real life story could give some kind of hint to people even a little. 👍
I think I'm hiki. I enjoy going out in good company, but most of the time I stay home and feel miserable. I spend all my time on on my computer, and don't take care of myself or my home. I'm NEET, anyway. I do live on social welfare. The government pays for my rent and food. I would love to work, but I don't think I'm able to. I think I'm depressed. Every time I try to study or work, I quit after a few weeks or months. I feel too sad. I'm so lonely.
Hello. Thank you for your comment.🙂 I am in a similar situation. I have depression. On the worst days, I can't even get out of bed for 24 hours. However, there is a cycle in depression, and sometimes my mental state gets better. So even if I feel like I'm at the worst condition, I don't think I'm hopeless anymore because I know that I will recover with time. The worst condition doesn't last forever. I hope that your depression will get better with time as well. It may take some time. So I don't think getting social security is a bad thing. By the way. there are a lot of people in my discord community who are saying similar things as you, so coming there may help your loneliness little maybe.
I was a hiki too. The only thing left to pull me out of hiki is my loving mother
Thank you for telling your story. I just subscribed and I look forward to seeing your upcoming content.
im very impressed with your command of the English language👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️❤️ im hoping you become super successful
Thank you for sharing your story honestly, you help a lot of people.
Thank you for your courage to be so open 🙏
Thank you for sharing your true story. May it inspire others to be stronger like you!
Thank you for this video.
so glad i found your channel bro, keep your head up. You're a strong dude.
Thanks for sharing your story.
You're welcome che von! Thanks for watching. And thanks for the comment. 😊
You are an amazing human. I subscribed and liked all the videos I watched so far. You sound so sweet. Your stories make me feel better in my loneliness somehow. Thank you.
I am so glad you doing better. The world is really a harsh place.
Wonderful story Hiroshi, if your were not bullied at school you man have become a mathematician or a philosopher, anyway focusing on the future is good and moving onwards and upwards
Hi Helvetica Neptune. Thanks for watching! Probably if I had not been bullied and had gone to school normally, I would have been an average office worker or civil servant or something. I was never good at hard math equations or difficult concepts like philosophy, and I don't think I could have reached the level of a scholar. But like my two older brothers, I think by now I would have married, had children, a house, and been in harmony with society normally. But this is how my life turned out. But I do not think it is a bad life because it is so unique. I never wanted to be bullied, but I have very mixed feelings about this.
Quite a life-affirming story, to be honest. Despite all the hardships, you managed to made it through, judging from recent videos. Glad for you, man!
Aloha Hiroshi, to be able to share your story shows the world what an AMAZING person you are with a BEAUTIFUL Soul. Praying for your Happiness and always know you are loved !!
Thank you so much Hiroshi. And your English is becoming so good. I listened to this entire presentation without reading the subtitles - and I understood * every * word you said. Your humility and courage are very inspiring to me.
Long live Hiroshi,! You are great person. Since you conquer your fears. Such a big accomplishment in your life.
thanks for sharing
when hikikomori help one another out of their situation, everyone benefits
Bless you and thank you for your story. Where is the understanding and compassion of one’s family? And others? Truly, I witnessed this myself, rejection from family in one of the lowest times- and realized why it is that some people commit suicide. This sort of rejection of people when they are having a hard time is so dangerous! We all have to make a move towards understanding and compassion- that it what draws people out . Life is valuable!!!
You are so brave Hiroshi:) Sending you big hugs from the US
Thank you for sharing your experiences with the world. Such good content. I hope you will be happy in life today. I am currently struggling too with low income, decreasing savings, didn't manage to finish my degree and mental health problems. I always feel I am useless to society and to the world and always bring shame, problems, and a burden to my mother and family. Through this video, I will try to learn and work hard to save money and create a happy meaningful life for myself.
Godbless you always Hiroshi👍❤️❤️
Thanks. I wish godbless you always too! :D
Hi there Hiroshi! Thanks a lot for sharing this story with us.
Hi Ramsés C. ! You're welcome che von! And thanks for watching. 😊
Thanks for sharing your story, Hiro! I think this is one of your most interesting videos, I really enjoy listening to other people's stories and yours is full of ups and downs, I think someone could easily turn your life story into a documentary about overcoming not only a reclusive life but poverty and self doubt!
It's the same in the west with social media, a lot of people online like to bully and make fun of other people for their situation in life. Even here on CZcams you'll see a lot of awful comments towards people. I think your channel and discord server is one of the few places that is different.
Would you mind making a video sometime about how you began to make friends on the internet? A lot of reclusive people would like to make friends but even online finding the right people can be a a difficult process. Thank you for your continuing efforts with this channel and the community!
Hi Nef! Thanks for watching. I appreciate that many people including you are interested in my stories. I think it is very precious thing!
And that's a very good idea.👍
I'll definitely make a video someday explaining how I made friends from overseas in online. Thanks for the great idea Nef!
I would love to be your friend. You are such a pure and respectable person.
I've promote your channel on a comment in nobita's channel. Please keep sharing your stories :)
Hello! I don't know about nobita-san. But thanks! 😊👍 And yes, I will continue to sharing my stories.
こんにちは！あなたが学校で経験した極端ないじめを生き延びてくれてうれしいです。あなたは貧困に陥っていたためにドッグフードを食べることに頼ったことを共有する勇気があります。あなたの経験を共有し、あなたの物語を伝えてくれてありがとう。それは、世界が同様の状況にある子供たちをよりよく理解し、助けるのに役立ちます。
Hello Hiroshi! I hope you continue to move forward in life.
How is your relationship with your parents now?
You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
Hi 92 eg. Thanks for your comment. Unfortunately, my relationship with my parents is almost lost now. Since I stopped go to school when I was in elementary school, my relationship with my parents has gone critically bad. However, my two socially successful and well educated older brothers and my parents seems to be on good terms. And I can live on my own, too, so we have no problems with each other.🙂
I just can't get it through my head your own parents would disown you. I was abused as a kid by my stepmom but at least they would stay in contact with me even if I was jobless or depressed or what else. It's a parents job to love your kid no matter what. You must've had such a hard time man ❤️ I feel for you Hiroshi.
@@HirosiYamazoe You are fucking strong, Hiroshi. May God bless you.
I want to live alone but i am not independent i am scared of being judged by people i always feel guilty i don't feel any worthy. Maybe I can't fit into the society
Dear Hiroshi, what a difficult early life you had. ☹ But, you have come such a long way, and learned so many lessons, that you couldn’t have learned any other way. (You even learned that dog food tastes bad - which is something few could claim to know! What an adventurous eater you are! 😉 I’m joking, but there’s truth to it as well.) I know it was extreme poverty that led you there, but let’s turn it around… so many positives… Look at what you discovered! You can take care of yourself, alone, in very difficult situations, and make do with very little! And not only survive, but THRIVE (you got a better job - so you impressed your bosses at work). And you’re now making stories about it that are reaching people all around the world!
I truly think that suffering makes us better, kinder, more loving people. And those that have ‘everything’ never learn these important lessons.
We talked about NDEs last time, and I hope you’ve watched some, because I think it will give you some perspective on “suffering”. But here’s an idea to ponder… Some people think that life is a school for souls. That we come back again and again in order to learn LOVE. That’s why the Buddhists talk about reincarnation and karma. I never used to believe in it, but I’m starting to think that maybe it’s true, and if it is… it means that everything we face in this life is GIVEN to us as a lesson. And how we deal with it, and what we learn from it, is what we take away with us at the end. Nothing is by accident and nothing is coincidence. In fact, some say that we CHOSE it before coming here.
And the higher and older you soul is - the harder the life lessons are that you chose (in terms of suffering).
Why? (Why would we do that to ourselves?) Because we are here to learn, and because at death we don’t die. And what we take with us - are our experiences. That makes our personal growth and how we interpret what happens to us, VALUABLE for our spiritual growth.
I always used asked why so many people sufferer. In the present and in the past! Wars, famines, diseases, poverty, abuse, bullying, warlords, shipwrecks, bankruptcy, accidents, long illnesses, loss of children and loneliness - the list is long. Why? Why?
So how about this idea. The suffering (that we signed up for before our birth, in this earth school) enables us to awaken to our true selves. It is only through suffering that we decide, just as you did, that life is worth fighting for! To become better human beings, higher evolved souls, who are on a path towards LOVE and light, because we learn know how it feels (painful). And, more caring, loving and compassionate because of it.
That makes suffering a CATALYST in order to learn these really important lessons, and it means our future lives (reincarnations) will be at a higher vibration. The BULLIES and the horrible people that made your early life so difficult will have to keep coming back to repeat these lessons again and again and again until they get it.
These ideas have formed the basis for many thousands of years’ old religions and beliefs that can’t easily be dismissed. Perhaps there is truth to them, and if there is - the opportunities within the experience of suffering itself are vast, and we should reframe our relationship to it! We are not victims of a random, difficult Mad Max style life where everything is out to get us. But rather, we CHOSE to go through difficult situations in order to expand ourselves on our eternal journey. We emerge from suffering, like the butterfly from the cocoon… (not the caterpillar!) Hindu beliefs, Christian beliefs - Jesus suffered terribly on the cross being crucified, then rose to become the light! Even Gutama Buddha left his opulent palace, in order to experience suffering outside the palace walls. (Gautama wandered into the world in search of understanding, encountering an old man, an ill man, a corpse and an ascetic, Gautama was convinced that suffering lay at the end of all existence. He renounced his princely title and became a monk, depriving himself of worldly possessions in the hope of comprehending the truth of the world around him. The culmination of his search came while meditating beneath a tree, where he finally understood how to be *free from suffering*, and ultimately, to achieve salvation. Following this epiphany, Gautama was known as the Buddha, meaning the "Enlightened One." The Buddha spent the remainder of his life journeying about India, teaching others what he had come to understand.)
There is much much more to this reality (and suffering) that we know! It may not all be for nothing, my friend.
czcams.com/video/4RGizqsLumo/video.html
Looking forward to your next video!
Hello. Wow. Thanks for your another very insightful comment. I have thought of many things by reading through your comment
Yes. I sometimes watch the channel about the NDE you referred me to. There are so many videos on that channel, it is a gold mine of information on the NDE. I would like to continue to watch them sometimes and learn more about the NDE. And oneday I will make a video about the NDE myself.
I am not sure if there is a human soul, an afterlife, or reincarnation. But I am sure that suffering will be something that will help people in the future.
As you say, there are good things to be gained by suffering. Gautama was born into the royal family, and I think that principle has something to do with his decision to abandon his position. Getting to know the people outside the royal balace who were suffering from illness and poverty was his first step as an awakened person.
But if the suffering is too much, people will get very ill, or in the worst case, die. So I think the balance between suffering and comfort is always important. Perhaps this is also related to people becoming in a state of "flow" which they are able to reach their full potential
Anyway. thank you for your great insightful comments. I will continue to learn more, including NDE, and will continue to share what I learn on CZcams. Thank you.😊
Have you seen the latest Pixar movie 'Soul'? @@HirosiYamazoe I think you might like it. 🙏 Have a great day. 🌸
@@HirosiYamazoe thank you for your story 英語が上手ですね、ありがとう😊
Thank you Hiroshisan! Your video is an inspiration! How did you live in Japan with a salary of 100,000 yen per month? What I mean is living in Japan on a salary of 100,000 per month, I didn't think was possible until watching your video.
You should do a TedxTalks.
Why Japanese government neglect the bullying issue?
Hello HikkiTraveler! Thanks for your comment! Bullying continues to happen a lot in Japan. It has been a social problem in Japan for a long time. And in Japan, both schools and the government present propaganda on TV and in other public places that they are working to make bullying stop. But in reality, it seems that almost nothing is being done. And bullying continues to happen. There are many reasons for this, but I think one of them is the peer pressure in schools. Most people in Japan, when they see a weaker person being bullied by a stronger group, instead of helping them, they join the stronger group and try to bully the weaker one. I also think that teachers don't want to have to do extra work to deal with bullies.
By the way, your name is great! I love to travel. so I am HikkiTraveler too. 🙂
妻が亡くなり、私は娘と二人きりになりました。 母は私を大いに助けてくれましたが、昨年母は亡くなりました。 今、私の娘は癌のために亡くなりました。 2月26日からひきこもりになって11ヶ月になります。 助けを求めるのは難しい。 恥は圧倒的です。 情報をくれてありがとう。 お大事に。🙇🏼♀
Sir, may i ask you a question about your current situation?(to be specific about your current job)
Hello! Thanks for your comment. I'll probably talk about it in my next video!
I'm hikka, but I'm from Kazakhstan.)
Hello! Thanks for watching from Kazakhstan! 😊
😭
Jesus Christ loves you, Yamazoe-san
I eat cats food)
Why don’t you want to be a socialist anymore. It’s a shame. I am talking to CZcams by the way.
Your hikikomori time was an understandable reaction to your bad experiences. I am amazed your parents ignored you, especially after your suicide attempts. Cultural differences, I guess.
idk im sorry but ur accent isnt good enough to keep watching its hard to understand also
Thanks for the feedback. I am still learning English. I also put English subtitles for when people cannot catch the words.