The Clutter Fairy Weekly #69 - The Way We’ve Always Done It: Assumptions, Expectations, and Clutter
Vložit
- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
- We all have “must-haves”-things we think we can’t do without in our homes, but that can stand in the way of successful decluttering. In episode #69 of The Clutter Fairy Weekly, Gayle Goddard, professional organizer and owner of The Clutter Fairy in Houston, Texas, examines the assumptions and expectations we inherit from our family or culture-or entrench in our own habits-and offers fresh perspectives on our must-have stuff.
Show notes: cfhou.com/tcfw069
The Clutter Fairy Weekly is a live webcast and podcast designed to help you clear your clutter and make space in your home and your life for more of what you love. We meet Tuesdays at noon (U.S. Central Time) to answer your decluttering questions and to share organizing tools and techniques, success stories and “ah-hah!” moments, seasonal suggestions, and timeless tips.
To participate live in our weekly webcast, join our meetup group (cfhou.com/meetup) follow us on Facebook (cfhou.com/faceb..., or subscribe to our mailing list (cfhou.com/subsc.... You can also listen to the podcast version of our show (cfhou.com/podcast).
If you’d like to help support our projects, visit our Patreon page (cfhou.com/patreon).
One more Wonderfully done episode from The Clutter Fairy 🧚♀️ 🧚♀️🧚♀️
Instead of thinking about financial cost, I like to think about opportunity cost. After you have purchased something the financial cost (paid) is set in stone, but opportunity cost is an ongoing cost. The space it takes up, cleaning it, the money you could get for selling it, what you could use that fo etc...We didn’t have much income in 2020 due to the lockdown so I started selling my old clothes to buy new ones. But I needed a whole wardrobe after dropping 50lbs so I started selling more items. I easily made over £1,000! When hubby finally got a job and we had to move 200 miles away, the hundreds of items we gave away/sold made it so much easier. It was less costly to move and paid for the van, movers and fuel. Plus out new house feels huge even though we ‘down sized’ to an apartment. Saying all of this, I only packed what I thought was essential and I noticed that I haven’t used everything so I’m going to take a look at what can go 😊
I would like to add having a specific room set aside as a Guest Room for overnight company that might be used once or twice a year. That room could be used by the people who live in the house instead. There are plenty of hotels and motels available now. Also - the picture perfect lawn that is really very expensive to keep up with chemicals and watering. Everyone's yard has to look the same instead of having interesting native flowers that benefit our important pollinators and wildlife who need their habitats and food supply returned to them.
I know many people who just have an expandable couch in their home office room. That way, you can do some of your work reading on the couch (or even take a power nap on your lunch break) and when guests come over you expand the couch into a bed, take your work laptop to another room for a couple of days and maybe clean up your desk a bit. Maybe keep a couple shelves in a cupboard empty for your guests to store their stuff in but you don't have to set aside a whole room if you only have guests infrequently.
We really don't need most of it...we just think we do ...
Mom NEVER used her engagement silverware. I got it when she passed. I gave a jeweler friend the entire collection except two forks with which he made me a beautiful bracelet that I wear and cherish. Instead of feeling dragged down by a set of silverware that I won't use, I feel energized by the bracelet that reminds me of Mom.
Love this! An excellent solution.
Thank you for another fabulous chat. I find that I’m getting so much from your videos. I listen to them several times because I get something from them every time. Thank you Rowan!
This topic brought back a memory of visiting a family member when I was a young girl. There was a perfectly arranged living room that no one used. I felt like a queen as I sat on a high tufted seat in a lovely upholstered chair. I learned at an early age tho that when I descended my throne, I better make sure that seat was tufted perfectly again!
I may have mentioned this before (don't remember for sure), but we turned our dining room into a room that holds general household things that we use...a pantry with shelves against the walls to hold items. Instead of canned goods like a normal pantry holds, it's basically just household items that we use (like toilet paper, paper towels, medical supplies, paper plates, plastic cups, boxes of vinyl gloves, etc...things like that). This keeps us from having to dig through cabinets or closets in various rooms for those items, because they are all organized onto shelves in one location instead of throughout the house. This has been so much easier for us!
Love you Gayle! Keep that smile and keep sharing those great strategies:)
About holiday decorations. Once kids move from the house, all that holiday stuff can go with them too, if they want it, especially if they now have children. Let them deal with the outside lights, holiday decor , and even all the holiday ornaments.. I had holiday decorations when my kids lived at home, but now I am delighted to give it all to them. And now I have just an elegant wreath, and maybe a few natural, disposable things, like a bowl of pines and pinecones. We are entitled to grow up and become more mature, and not be stuck in a period of life, which is no longer appropriate for our age. Shifting the responsibility of "doing" the holidays, should shift from the grandparents to the parents.
The hardest part for me to declutter and reorganize is major resistance from my spouse of over 50 years. He is much more emotionally connected to stuff than I am. I suspect part of it is his not being comfortable with change. And he was a middle child of a large family so when he did get something new or even as a hand-me-down he clung to it cuz he might not get another one again. He has loosened up a tad while he's watched me getting some of my things out the door to my local Buy Nothing Group or Goodwill.
I have a mini bar sized fridge/freezer and I managed to carefully meal planned 2 weeks worth of food for 2 people on totally different diets to fit in there. If my fridge doesn’t start to empty during the week, I bulk cook and freeze meals for later. If I had a constant full fridge that would cause me anxiety because 1. I wasted money 2. The amount of environmental cost used to produce those foods is shocking (esp meat) 3. It’s probably expired/stinks and makes cleaning harder.
It’s a huge lie that meat is wrecking havoc on the planet.
Animals give back nutrients to the soil that vegetables/ fruit take from the soil.
Big AG puts out propaganda to compete with big Meat industries because big AG wants to make big money.
It amazes me how many people will sacrifice their own health and indigenous diets all because some Netflix documentary said so. It’s ok to question these documentaries. It’s ok to question narratives.
Thank you both for these weekly podcasts. I listen to them while ironing or having lunch etc. It's like my little therapy session or sitting with a friend with no judgement. Love from France.
Me too !
Thanks for watching from France!
This was an excellent topic. Thank you both for such wonderful videos. I've made a couple of changes that are unconventional, but work for my family. My formal dining room was used once or twice a year. I did enjoy seeing a room that was always orderly albeit unused. Because of the pandemic and my bad knees, I am currently storing a couple cases of water/beverages, 2 boxes of Skinny Pop, Keto snacks, Crackers, Mixed nuts, etc. in that room along one wall. My kids come over frequently and even my 2-year-old granddaughter knows she can go into the dining room and find something she can eat or drink. When the pandemic is "over", I'll probably eliminate the storage repurposing and use that space for my exercise machine. You are so right that these shrine rooms are underutilized.
I'm a doll collector, so I see the invisible veil of *obligation* to collect. On my doll forum (which I love), there are plenty of threads on "things you bought', 'dolls you've ordered and waiting to arrive', 'dolls you wanna buy', 'what's your fav thing to buy for your doll' and a huge marketplace. There are also threads asking if someone's on the 'low-buy' phase and I see how people get sad over it, they share their financial struggles, job losses and so on. And among all of this I'm like "so I decluttered this doll! YAY", "I sold these clothes YAY", "I haven't bought any new doll so far since X months ago YAY" and I feel like I'm alone in this, but I'm super happy and proud :) I know it's generally not an achievement to just get rid of something, but gosh I feel so proud over having no urges, no needs and a minimalist, well curated collection which I *love* more than ever. I have cut my doll collection by 70% over the last year and I couldn't be happier. I can see how fellow artists give in to this pressure and have then hoards rather than collections.. As it is, I have an abundance od dolly shoes, wigs and dresses and my dolls instead of being neglected are spoilt to no end. Also, every now and then I look through my dolly clothes/shoes, see what they don't wear and sell it away. Not only does it make others happy, but it also helps me to free myself of the clutter and get some extra bucks here and there ;)
I'm a doll collector too and I'd love to sell or give all of mine to a good home if you know anyone who wants them!!
Freeze the bread!
Yes! I make 2 loaves of bread at a time, wait until well-cooled, slice, and freeze. I take out only as many slices as I want. They usually come apart easily if completely cooled before slicing.
One thing I have learned is that my adult kids change their taste often. I cannot ever assume that something I think they would enjoy, whether food or household, clothes, etc. may not be something they still enjoy. I don't want them to make assumptions about me and i don't want to make assumptions about them.
Oh dear, you were peeking in my kitchen cabinets...do I need multiple blenders - one hand mixer, bowl mixer for cakes, and an immersion blender for sauces??? Time to let something go to a new home! Loved this weeks topic. Thank you!
Tomorrow my daily tittle is to try and help my mom get through the 3 tubs of beauty pageant dresses from my childhood. They bring back a lot of painful memories and I just want them gone,but the trouble is figuring out where to donate these fancy dresses to. Luckily I have a place in mind, but am still unsure. On my agenda this week is also to drop off my car load of donations to the few different places they need to go,or at least one or two. Thank you guys for helping me through the decluttering!
You might try a beauty pageant school, or a girls' dance school. They can be free costumes for young dancers! Good luck making your donations - you can do it and you'll feel relieved when you do.
@@TheClutterFairy Thank you Gail! Your encouragement means a lot.
there are amazing tables that easly expand from console table to table for 12. Not cheap but gorgeous design.
With the bread you can freeze the other half. That way each person has their bread, no waste.
Each person should have their own toothpaste, it prevents sharing stuff like colds.
Some things are worth breaking the clutter free rule.
Yup, I figured out bread freezes really well and you can revive it in minutes with your toaster when I was still single and could never eat through a whole or even a half loaf before it went moldy. Now we put all our bread in the freezer after the first day and we can always have a small variety on hand without anything going bad. Bread in the freezer is great.
@@TheFeldhamster me it was bagels, I got so fed up with throwing out half the package. So 30 seconds in the microwave and you're good to go. You can freeze peanut butter and milk also.
@@nicoleperron3315 milk isn't a problem here in Austria, the largest container you can buy is only 1 liter (~1/4gal) and you can even buy half liter containers. And peanut butter keeps forever at room temperature here. I've never had peanut butter go bad on me even though it just lives in a cupboard next to the Nutella (which will also last forever at room temperature without going bad in our climate). No need to freeze those.
My hoarding of 'attic china and crystal' is similar to my step mothers hoarding of blue willow antique china that she has filled 2 china cabinets to display but never uses for any holiday. Her preference for holidays is paper plates with silver (you have to polish flatware). Ok, she does use the crystal punch bowl and glasses... Martha would approve. The irony is blue willow was everyday dishwasher safe dishes. She still washes her dishes before she puts them in the dishwasher. Irony, my Grandmothers china along with her plastic covered victorian couch that my Dad kept that only a few people saw let alone sat on or ate from. So tradition forced me to never use my china to keep it 'safe' and to freeze the value like hidden treasure in a boat at the bottom of the sea. Love your channel!
As for the smaller fridges: look at the "Not just bikes" channel. One reason people in the US make these big grocery hauls is because you are a car dependent society. If going to the grocery store is a major ordeal and you have to go with a car anyway, you might as well make a big haul once a month.
Here in Austria (yes!) I walk to the next store in 3 minutes. We typically do one bigger shopping trip once per week with a rucksack and grab some fresh items an additional 2-3 times a week. It gives you more flexibility but I wouldn't do so if shopping would require me to drive somewhere for half an hour and another half an hour back.
If you want to buy in bulk because you only want to go once a month, then you really need do some meal planning and shop to a list and stick to that to avoid waste.
I've gotten over the idea that I must keep complete sets of items. I had everyday dishware for eight. Aside from not having people over due to Covid, I just don't need that many dishes anymore. So I broke up the set. All the cups and saucers left as I prefer mugs. Half the plates and bowls went out as well. If a bunch of people are over I'll just use the fine china. It's freed up a lot of space in the cabinets.
I LOVED the scenario about the person loading microphones...and, ALL the stuff that comes with them ..in her car the night, before....man, I can relate in a smaller way.
I am pianist at church for the second service....and the time after the service(about 4 hours) to start preparing and practicing music for the following week ...til time for our praise and worship practice ....plus the techniques...and, the other music, I'm practicing at that time...that relates in a music bag the size of a large scrapbooking bag(by the way...I pull this...I damaged my arm 2 years, ago by constantly carrying this on my shoulder...after much prayer and therapy my shoulder is healed....but, trying to carry all this music....NOT worth the injury...please folks...use luggage pieces that you can pull...NOT CARRY).....Anyway...
Putting this bag in the car...WAY before I leave is HUGE...3 trips out the door before trying to leave is NOT worth it...believe me...going back in the house to get my coffee....I've left my purse at home(leaving my driver's license at home😥...not a good idea....going home between church and practice...no..it's 17 miles one way.
Love your videos...so inspirational, and helpful.😀
Expectations about expectations might cause me to display photos, artwork, or belongings by every family member, so that everyone in my family is represented by an object on display in my apartment.
I think women entering the workforce and getting their own bank and credit accounts really propelled heirlooms downward in importance. Heirlooms were a way for families to preserve wealth and pass it down, which is way more important in a home with only one income. Now days, every company ever advertises to women and their savings accounts. 👀🥴 So of course, there is tons more stuff in existence now because women aren't chained to their families of origin or husbands families for financial stability and security.
Interesting perspective!
I would think a lot also comes from cheaper mass production and therefore faster changing trends. When, let's say, buying a table meant having to order one at a local carpenter to be made for you, of course it was expensive and you'd pass it on. Nowadays, tables are mass produced and cost a fraction of that. So, of course companies will create different fashions of tables over time to sell more. And nobody wants to inherit that table that looks so 1999 unless it's a really timeless design. Everyone wants a table that's in style now (and they can afford it due to mass production prices). The other thing is technology. Even for stuff that's not as high tech, let's say a sofa. Nowadays, sofas might have spill resistant fabrics. Or easily removable and washable covers. That old clunker from the early 90s? Nope. That's just ugly and dirty now.
@@TheFeldhamster True !
An interesting related subject: people who address turning down the free hand me downs but go into debt to buy all new furniture, plus expensive weddings, etc that we think we need due to our culture. Personally i have made spending mistakes in the past and now i don't. Its cadh only! If i cant afford it i dont buy it! That includes buying more household supplies than i need as well.
Amen!!
Don’t be a mindless *consumer.*
Guaranteed, would not use a gym in my house often. I have a free gym just a block away in the hospital basement. I've been there once. 🏋️♀️
What is this weeks Tittle?
Le Coeur de la Mer
This week’s assignment is to examine a “relic” from your past life-a time before one or more of the major life transitions we talked about in this episode. The object might be a memento, a gift you received, an item you inherited, or something you bought for yourself or your family a long time ago. Ask yourself a few questions about the item:
- Does this item still hold the emotional meaning or resonance for me that it used to?
- Does this item support my current life? Do I still find it appealing, beautiful, or useful?
- Does this item really work in my present life, or do I struggle to make it work?
- Could I be just as happy taking a photograph to commemorate the item, then releasing it for someone else to enjoy and use?
Suggestion: check out fast hair growth fortified shampoo to double hair growth.