Maybe This Dream - feat. Donna Lynne Champlin - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"

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"Maybe This Dream"
Starring Donna Lynne Champlin, Michael McMillian, and Burl Moseley
Written by Rachel Bloom, Jerome Kurtenbach, Adam Schlesinger, Jack Dolgen, and Aline Brosh McKenna
Paula
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL I FELT
LIKE A PRINCESS
SO NAIVE AND FULL OF HOPE
I THOUGHT MY DREAMS WOULD COME TRUE
BUT THEN AS I GREW
THE WORLD WAS ALL LIKE - NOPE
But this time, maybe... just maybe…
MAYBE THIS DREAM WON’T LEAD TO DISGRACE
MAYBE THIS DREAM IS IN REACH
MAYBE THIS DREAM WON’T POOP ON MY FACE
LIKE A SEAGULL AT THE BEACH
MAYBE THIS DREAM WON’T BE LIKE MY WEDDING
THE ORGAN PLAYED
THERE GOES THE BRIDE.
I came back.
MAYBE THIS DREAM WON’T BE LIKE SOME MAGGOTS
FEASTING ON THE ROTTING DEER CARCASS OF MY PRIDE.
MAYBE THIS DREAM WON’T BE LIKE MY VIBRATOR
BREAKING WHEN I NEED IT MOST.
Tim
TWEEDLE DEEDLE DEE!
Paula
MAYBE THIS DREAM WON’T BE LIKE EBOLA
EATING THE FLESH OF ITS HOST
Jim
TWEEDLE DEEDLE DOO!
Jim + Tim
TWEET TWEET... TWEET TWEET... TWEET TWEET TWEEE.....
Paula
MAYBE THIS DREAM WON’T BE LIKE WHEN I GO RUNNING
AND I HAVE TO TAKE A DUMP
SO I HAVE TO RUSH HOME
PLUS I ALSO HAVE MY PERIOD
SO I HAVE MENSTRUAL CRAMPS PLUS DUMP CRAMPS
AND AS I RUN FRANTICALLY
I PEE JUST A LITTLE
BECAUSE I’VE HAD TWO BABIES
SO BY THE TIME I GET HOME
MY UNDIES SMELL LIKE A SEWER RAT
MAYBE THIS DREAM WON’T BE LIKE THAT.
MAYBE THIS DREAM WILL FINALLY MAKE ME FEEL
LIKE I DESERVE
A DREAM.
(sigh)