Disarm The Narcissist Using Stare and Blink Tactic
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- čas přidán 16. 06. 2024
- Break The Trauma Bond Course:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.co...
chapters
00:00 introduction
00:53 Course announcement
01:20 Mainstream advice is not useful in every situation!
02:11 The technique to win !!!
03:51 The stare & blank technique
05:25 This is how you can disarm them !
06:13 An important thing to remember
07:33 Check out my signature program!
Break The Trauma Bond Course:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/breaking-the-trauma-bond
This is so empowering and true, Danish. My therapist also mentioned about that strategy and it works. I remember using it to stop a toxic narcissist woman at my workplace years ago, I just remained calm with a blank face staring at her eyes after her threats and intimidation, kept staring in silence while walking slowly towards her, she was petrified, she started stuttering and couldn't look at me. That was the last time. Narcissists fear when you show them you're not scared and you don't react. They are scared of your strength, bravery, self-confidence, silence, determination and auto control.
Good for you! Love this!
Then they run around telling everyone how scary and violent you are. They devote everything to the smear and fear campaign. Stalk you everywhere you go. Sabotage your property. Then people say "Look what YOU made them do! You should be ashamed! You're soooo ungrateful!"
Essentially they think they can mind read you and maybe slightly schizo.
Check out psychic and others
i have found success in the past with the idiot narcissist, by establishing boundaries WITH consequences. they don't care about your boundaries, but will care about losing something, getting in trouble, or even being discovered and exposed.
also, one comeback to deal with the enablers (or the narcissist directly) is to ask them "why do you think it's in my best interest to do what you're suggesting?"
this question reveals that what they're telling you to do is not in your best interest at all. and this question has worked every time.
lastly, when the narcissist tries to dump their emotional vomit onto you, send it back to them, by saying: "i wonder why you would feel that way?" or, "i'm not responsible for your misery or happiness." or "that's on you, that's your problem to fix, not mine."
hope these lived experiences help.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
I think that that’s too many words
I think that’s great advice! Thank you.
So… what did Drake do next?
Those are excellent!! THANK YOU! (stuffs into arsenal) & Thanks to Danish for this channel!!
@deborahcaldwell9775 that's great you feel that way. feel free to share with us, what has actually worked for you. 🤔
Because I can't leave the narcissist I'm living with, I treat him like a roommate, an annoying roommate. I simply don't have the funds to leave, also I'm enjoying simple things like the cool can opener, or the bigger microwave I just bought. If I left now I would be homeless & living on the streets. I just do my thing, crocheting, "fussing" over my cat & dog, etc.
Thing is I’m a extrovert so I usually in end giving in to the narcissist cuz I love to talk and laugh but after a while of giving gifts and food and seeing that nothing is changing I just leave it alone
@SylisDaCheesCakeGoat I am an extrovert as well. Whereas I cannot leave the narcissist at this time, I also do not live in the same house as them. They are an in-law that my husband cannot bear to part with at this moment. I was able to get a few new friends that are real friends and I hold that part of my life separate from them. I try not to talk too much. They have begun to hoover me as it has been a year since the last discard and I have not come back to them. I know what they are capable of and am done with the whole thing.
@@naowright9308 - yes, keep the good part of your life 9 new good friends) secret and let very little 'real ' info out. Best luck, you will get there. x
Yes, do whatever keeps you sane while you wait for the exit. Good luck. x
Try vanlife u can get a home for very little, its an adjustment but its addictive i lived 9months in a box van with a bunk and little else , never felt freer in my life
Don’t explain, don’t argue , don’t defend just condemn!
This so funny, I just did this to a workplace narc on Monday and he lost his shit. I continued to stare and let out a little burp and didn’t break eye contact
If they want answers right now they become very abusive and dangerous
My grandma, if I got off the phone too “fast” would FLY over to our house and me and my mom would get it bad
When the narc in my life tried to verbally attack me in front of family …I stopped,stared at them, said nothing and walked away. Next thing I know, I heard them scream in horror and burst into tears while yelling she’s not innocent. (Translation She is innocent and I’m the problem).
Lmao I said wow! What kind of spirit is this. That was years before i realized they were a narc and now it’s so easy to deal with them. they’re 100% predictable.
I did this to my previous x narc and he was so surprised and got flustered and gave me the silent treatment for about 24hrs after i asked him "are you okay? It seems like you have some emotional issue you can't control very well, maybe you have bpd or something." He was shouting at me because i was too sick to hang out with him because i am pregnant. I told him "you dont have to take everything so personally, not everything is about you. I am simply too sick to go out with you and i am still grieving the loss of my father." (My father passed away on the 14th of January this year.) And his response was "How can i not make everything about me?!" .. i was blown away by that response, i just kinda shook my head and ignored him after that. I have since left him and gone no contact. And i have decided to remain single for the rest of my life, i am exhausted by these energy vampires.
I love this technique because it’s all about the SURVIVOR! Allowing yourself time and space to regulate your nervous system, breath and mind is literally the key to overcoming this abuse cycle. Wow! You always blow my mind Danish! It’s an incredible tool because it’s strengthening the very things that the narcissist targets and destroys over time, your autonomy and right to regulate.
When I started using the stare and blink times technique,he was so thrown off😂😂. I,also,had to start fooling the fool who thought that he was fooling me.
When you own yourself becoming unpredictable and indifferent to narcissists, they get scared because they're left with their own sh!te and can't handle it. Catching them off guard is highly effective to disarm them by not giving them what they expect. I remember when an idiot has thrown a big black dog to attack me once, I immediately "connected" with the dog turning lovely and playful, his jaw dropped when I told him looking straight into his eyes "It's an animal thing" just like Riddick, he was petrified and never messed with me again 😅
Love it!
Not to go into discussion , not talking at all using" SILENCE "and walk away is te best thing you can do . But when they are agressive it is a good idea to say only the words "Are you OK? .......Thank You Danish Bashir for this possibility .
I recently did this when I realised every word , explanation I say will be remembered , twisted and used against me .. I resorted to smiles, chuckles and walk away…. Somehow my interactions got a bit better in the sense that it avoided triggers and conflicts … so true!
… or say “whatever”
Yes !!!
Yeah, they hate that!
True. When i quit reacting as he learned to get to me and instead kept my cool, he started losing his control. Other people were finally taking their eyes off of me long enough to see the truth about him. He completely lost it. The more i didnt react, the more he showed his true self in front of others.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
👉❤When it comes to narcissists- they are one of the big reasons He is stepping in right now!🔥💪♥ He is coming to avenge!
👉Innocent go first- all the children of the world will disappear first then the adult believers.🥰 Jesus is coming back to pick up all those who accepted His free gift of His death for their sins. Yes, after 2 000 years He is coming back with promised salvation!🙌♥🥳
As He speaks through the prophets He is sickened by the world: lies, abuse amd manipulations.
Before He comes we will see Alaska's back to back earthquakes 7.6 and 7.3, we will also see Germany and Russia exchanging missiles. Jesus spoke of it all through his prophets! 🙌❤😊
Jesus removes His believers and then Apocalypse starts, do not be left for that! 🥹❤You can still call out to Him when kids are gone! Make sure you make Jesus your Lord and Saviour🙌❤He loves you like crazy! He sees you, ♥
😍
Trust in what He did on the cross for you! He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later!
!🙌❤🥹
So so true i have learned not to say much when my narcissistic mother wants to use her emotional supply... (Me) because anything I would say she would twist and distort it so i try and ignore it works most times but than she trys to disrespect my boundaries by talking to me even though she knows i told her No!!! The best advice is to stick to your boundaries no matter what and try to not pay that person amy mind best you can because best believe they aren't thinking about you.
Sunglasses really terrify the narcissist I noticed , because they can’t see your eyes so they don’t know how to determine what your feeling , at work I have on shades all day and noticed that it helped with dealing with narcissists because there completely shut off from me , I also have on my earphones wit my music .
Ooo, I KIKE that idea! 💯🎉
great point. it's true - plus with wearing sunglasses, you can present an image of intimidation.
wishing you all the best, steven
You're right! No wonder my narc hated my Oakleys with gold iridium lenses. Lol. I must get another pair!
@@jennifergriffin5467😎...me too!!
🙂
Yes! I don’t have to deal with custody anymore, but umbrellas get the same job done. This one time during pickup it was raining and I walked my daughter to his car with an umbrella. I didn’t even look at him and was leaning down to get her into the seat and was talking to him from behind the umbrella!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The narcissist I live with isn't "dangerous" themselves,
but attempts to use his biting dog as an intimidation tool.
He now becomes frustrated & irate that I no longer react to the dog barking at me.
He has now began to think I make his dog bark & try to bite me purposefully. I don't.
I have this trick to work, i have used it in the few days when I was struggling. I even gave myself high five😂. I felt like I had won something. Blank stare....acting like am dumb
The narcissist's weapon is morals. He plays with what is missing in him. Personally, I live in a narcissistic relationship with my mother-in-law, and all her experiments with me have failed because I am not a religious person and I do not evaluate things as good or evil. I have an image about the type of relationship we should have, and I do not allow any diversion from it. Our conversations do not exceed three seconds, and I am firm in them
I loveeeee using reverse psychology with narcs and it really throws them off
That's a pretty effective way which I used at my old workplace. You're sooo right, dear Danish. Like always❣️💕 Or when the narcissistic people tried to repeat themselves over & over again because they tried to be wannabe teachers, I suddenly laughed at them like a little child & showed them my disrespect in public by turning my back to the other side to let them clearly know that I don't listen to them. A third technique is ghosting or when this is not possible, then use my fourth technique: bore them the sheeeet out. The more they become bored of you, the more chances increase that they will leave you alone, sooner or later. Good luck, people❣️😘💯❤
How to bore them to death? Could you please kindly share that technique to us. I don’t recall seeing this in any other videos
@Melva-Tjong When you observe them, try to figure out what exactly they DON'T like as behavior. Try to do & repeat that certain behavior. Or look what most people don't like, for example, being disrespectful, nagging, getting too emotional, especially for no reason or being too pessimistic, etc. Or always telling the same stories or mirroring them by telling them stories where you were the hero. Be always an unbearable a hole, a bigger one than they are. ;) Or when they speak to you, then don't react to them or react with a yawning or even interrupt them here and there. Do those things always on a daily basis to turn them off. They will get the message to not mess with you & that it's better to avoid you instead of it. Much success for you❣️😉
👉❤When it comes to narcissists- they are one of the big reasons He is stepping in right now!🔥💪♥ He is coming to avenge!
👉Innocent go first- all the children of the world will disappear first then the adult believers.🥰 Jesus is coming back to pick up all those who accepted His free gift of His death for their sins. Yes, after 2 000 years He is coming back with promised salvation!🙌♥🥳
As He speaks through the prophets He is sickened by the world: lies, abuse amd manipulations.
Before He comes we will see Alaska's back to back earthquakes 7.6 and 7.3, we will also see Germany and Russia exchanging missiles. Jesus spoke of it all through his prophets! 🙌❤😊
Jesus removes His believers and then Apocalypse starts, do not be left for that! 🥹❤You can still call out to Him when kids are gone! Make sure you make Jesus your Lord and Saviour🙌❤He loves you like crazy! He sees you, ♥
😍
Trust in what He did on the cross for you! He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later!
!🙌❤🥹
@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose Or when they're being nosy, make sure to explain everything in every tiny detail. When they say "you can stop now" then I say "oh no, you wanted to hear about my event, you insisted on hearing about it, so I'm going to tell you all about it. You asked, and you're going to hear all of it" And then I just keep following them around and droning on, and on. And on.
@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose And always answer them with a challenge. "Why would I do that?" "What's in it for me?"
Fabukous!!! Oh gosh!!!! Needed to find your channel!!! Such a blessing!!! I have a Narcissit Mother, Primary Caregiver and a Father (Parents divorced when i was a 8) and I live with the former and am financially dependent on them...the control, financial abuse and random urges pitting my siblings against me is insane. And to top it off I recently discovered that my teacher whom I train under as a dancer is also a Narcissit which explained a lot of his abuse behaviour towards me & I only recently realised how much grooming he has been doing trying to modify my behaviour. It's not easy to leave!!! I wish more people understood that. Toxicity, and trauma healing is one thing, but the Trauma we face from Narcissistic abuse is a whole new level
I really don't like Narcissists.
And They Really Don't Like Themselve's
I looked up the word indtead of just watching detailed descriptions of things people have done. The word narcissism means self-admiration. If you don't admire yourself like that, then you're not a narcissist. It comes from a greek myth of a character named Narcissus.
Stared down my liar narasistic neighbor. He couldn't take it. Brought his 'husband' over to threaten me. They lied 3 xs. Too funny, one would deny then 5 sentences later the other would accidentally admit fault. 3 times.
I love when you rate them, they can't get their stories straight.
My narsistic neigbour and his monkey wife They are liars and cannot prove what they claim , the lies about me. They are evil. I react not at all with 100% "Silence" helps the best
It really works Danish when they play blame game and criticize I just listen and stay quiet and keep myself relaxed and stare simultaneously.When I become unpredictable it is really nice weapon to disarm them.
This is great advice, Danish. Thank you!
I love the blinking technique. It gives us time to think, time to assess, and time to level our emotions (as best we can).
The narcissist in my life is my sister, and we share an elderly dad, who she and her son live with. I can't go 100% "no contact" since I want to see my dad, but I haven't seen him in 4 months - only talk on the phone once a week - because I don't want to be around my sister.
I hate the wedge narcissists create. They're so MEAN! My mom was one, I've got aunts who are, and have worked with narcissists, too. They come in all shapes and sizes. Any relationship can have one in it. ANY. Family, intimate, workplace, friend, you name it. They pop up anywhere.
One question: as parents, guardians, family members, how can we know a child is a "narcissist-in-the-making", what age do they start, and (most importantly), how can we change them?? Obviously, I don't mean that in a bad way. Please don't get me wrong. But how is it possible to detect the traits early on and teach a child to be a nicer person?
I've worked with children in the educational field and was honored to come across all of the unique, special, fun, interesting, creative, kind, loving, and honest personalities. Each child is a joy. Behaviors pop up, as they do, and I felt blessed to be able to sow fairness and respect amongst my students. Well, for the most part anyway.
Sometimes I'd work with some stubborn ones, but as children (5-9 yrs old) they are moldable, and generally want to please, so they TRY. They try to work on their attitudes, behaviors, and such.
How old are they when they simply don't care and see nothing wrong with their behavior? I'd love to think that, as adults raising, or working with, children we can identify and fix the problem. In a nice way - teach by example I suppose - and effective.
I pulled this stunt on my screaming narcissist boyfriend and he let out a grunt and walked away. Works!
You have the upperhand when you are healed!!! I wish all to reach that level of silence and total indifference towards the N
Lifesaving advice. And it works. The unexpected reaction shuts them up. Its a so powerful tactic to keep them away 🎉
Yes people are stuck due to our legal and court system. It’s so true…. Is there anything that this system can do to punish a narsassist? There should be a law to rescue innocent people.😢
This video is absolutely on time. Currently co-parenting with one. He's noticing our child has started distancing themself from him & is blaming me. Appreciate this technique immensely. Tysmfs Danish! 🎉 🎉❤
When they send a nasty text:
Send one back that doesn't address the comment at all. Send something random back that doesn't make sense.
That's a great tactic! Your videos are always so helpful in my healing journey. Thanks, Dr Bashir 🙏🏻
Love this! I will be doing this if he ever comes around me, and tries to push my buttons again...
I'm going to try this method with my narcissistic co-worker.
Loved That !!
Thank you very much that was absolutely wonderful❤
So true, very good topic.Thank's
Wow, that is sooo on target. Very powerful. Thank you.
This was a very helpful video! Thanks! ❤
Fabulous!! Everyone needs to hear this message.
Thank you Danish, very helpful. 💫
Love you❤ thanks.god bless you❤
Danish, thank you so very much for all your help. FYI I share your stuff on FB & in some narc survivor support groups too, if that's ok. 🎉
Great job 👍
Appreciate you Danish 🙏🏼
Danish, thank you so very much for this video
Masterful advice. Thank you, Danish!
Thank you 😊
Thank You for sharing the valuable information 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you. It works like a charm when then being smarter than they thought when making police reports at the same time. Reports with only the pertinant information included on that report concerning each situation being reported about.
thank you for your help
great advice.....i follow you.....❤
You so right! I used to open the cards and assume he would understand and talk. It did not work, so I understood the pattern and just a day before the court I showed him the mirror of his infidelity and he was shocked and agreed to the 50% of the child support. The peace of mind is important they would never change or be empathetic worst than animals. He denied and had a poker face when I showed him the proof!
Danish you are gods messenger for a victims like me😊...great knowing about Narcissists each and everymove also their thinking s and doings..🤝 i blindly follow all the tactics and techniques with my narcissist partner and it helps 💯..🙏🏼keep posting a info against these devils👍🏼keep Rocking 🎉
Every time I listen to your videos I learn something new. Thank you!
Thank for acknowledging it’s not that simple.
Danish, keep sharing of what you have researched/ learned from Puriology University. Ty.
I think I was meant to hear see and hear this video!!! Yes, let the healing begin and continue! ❤
Absolutely 100% fact founded truth ♥️
I have to see the narcissist in my life every day. Currently no way out. It's been a while since I sent my last text to him that from now on I want us to avoid each other. He does. That's basically the only wish he has respected. Doesn't even say hi. Looks at me with so much resentment when we have to pass each other. I think he didn't expect me to want distance. He probably expected me to always come crawling back and put up with every abusive thing without a word. This situation hurts but I hope it'll hurt less and less. Even if I have to watch him treat everyone else with kindness while there's so much hatred towards me. Often I doubt myself that maybe it IS actually me who messed up and made him behave like this. Maybe he's not a narcissist? I have way too much proof that he is and I still get these thoughts. All I ever wanted was to be seen as a person but that's never going to happen. I hope I'll have the strength to keep avoiding him. My health got so messed up because of him.
Sorry you are going thru this, you ARE a person, valuable & loved. Worth listening to & hearing.
Thank you❤❤❤
Very good.
Thank you sir for understanding the trouble of people like us were as if we explain everything to our mother and family members also they don't understand
Thank you
yes u r correct i stroked with him and i m following u r instruction thank u very much dani
Brilliant
Thanks. I think i might have already been doing this. Be very careful if they are violent because this question can make them explosive. You have to read the mood before using the "are you ok?"
Thanks.
You are right...its not that easy.....Stuck because of children involved.......otherwise I would be long gone.
As the damaged adult child of someone who stayed for my sake, please get the divorce.
Very true thanks
They cant read me but boy do i read them
This sounds like a great & empowering technique for someone who is trying to free themselves from a narc. Thank you so much!
Before knowing about narcissism, i was in a highly dangerous DV situation of many years, but it became much worse while i planned an escape. During that time, they did something i would love to know if ANYONE else has experienced, or what it is.
The narcissist covered their mouth and chin with cupped hand and looked straight at me with unblinking almost glaring stare. As this stare continued on and on without a word, i felt like i began dissociating, it was so frightening.
What is the narcissist unblinking stare while they cover their mouth?? Why do they do it?🤔
I just ignore them and look past like they aren’t even there. No acknowledgement of existences.
Could you put up more meditation/hypnosis videos?
Yes. Lawyers have no clue what a narcissist is.
Super
I manage my narcissist. She says, “I can’t tell what you are thinking.”
Hi Danish,
thank you so much for your work❤ May I ask a question? Where does this technik come from? I have a boss, of whom I think has a lot of narcisisstic traits. I doubted myself , began to behave strange, got really sick until I found out what may be going on. And I think he used this on me for strange reasons( mostly when I answer a question not in the expected way, politely disagreed and things like that). Or am I the narcissist😢?
Greetings from Germany
Absolutely that's what they do
I wouldn’t say anything and just roll my eyes.
When I rolled my eyes at him, he punched me.
@@theripper1705😢
True!
Please do a video on collective narcism including parents teachers relatives friends how can i protect my child from their abuse .my both parents are malignant narcist overt and covert
will we ever get a chance to know you a bit more closely? how about a Q&A video,for example?
There even usening face book to say I'm the problem while they deleted all evidence I had to free myself
Best way to disarm them, just be cool and keep ur natural behaviour because u r super person that's why they attack and attached with u to suck blood
They really do need to know what's going on in your life. Smh. This os my mother which is why i don't tell her anything thats going on in my life cause they wishes bad on your good things too, its so bag though until she sneaks down the hall and listens to my conversations 😳 Its ridiculous.
Hi Danish. How can I contact you directly?
his email address is in his "about" section
@@plnthrd Alright, thanks.
I feel like I've been under a spell.
Considering how evil narc's may be... I'd totally say you were (but mostly because i Definitely was) 😔 Good Luck on your journey. This channel is a great place for you to be, imo
I want to leave him but it is not easy .. as u said ..
🙏🙏
How can I tell if he is a narcissist if I have not met him we were in a long distance relationship how can I tell if he is a narcissist
You said were so that means he isn’t in the picture anymore. What is the reason you don’t speak anymore? I had a very short relationship with a CZcamsr who ended up being a narc. You’ll get the same red flags even if you’ve never met them. If you’re having to question whether he is or not I believe you already know.
Question: Can or should you laugh at them when they stare at you with their mean face???
I had this happen to me recently. Here I am just getting over being married, now recently divorced from my husband. I am curious of what to do and say to them.
What I've learned from this guy....
1) he thinks his parents are narcissists.
2) this is how he mentally fights with his parents and techniques he's tried to use on them.
3) because he has used them on his parents he feels it was automatically right and encourages everyone else to do it too
Plz show us
❤