Some of my top favorites: "I have a cordless telephone cord. I keep it on my decaffeinated coffee table." "I lost a button hole." "Everyday I try and move my rug by telekinesis. I've been doing this everyday for eight years, the rug hasn't moved an inch. The rest of the house is gone." 😂😂👍
I actually did that elevator practice with my daughter when she was about four she punched me in the leg and told me it was stupid. Years later we were on an elevator and I looked at her and said aren't you glad I made you practice. She punched me in the shoulder.
MY VERY FIRST AND FAVORITE BY STEVEN WRIGHT WAS, I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT, THAT ALL THE BABIES PREVENTED BY THE PILL, CAME BACK. AND BOY WERE THEY PISSED! STILL MAKES ME LOL
I have a friend named George. People think George is weird because he has side burns growing behind his ears. I think he’s weird because he has false teeth with braces on them.
I went to see him years ago, and his show lasted 90 mins, trouble was, weeks before I went to see Ken Dodd, and his show lasted 3 and a half hours. Felt a bit short changed, lol.
I have an interactive answering machine; when people call they think they're having a conversation with me - now I'm being sued by six women for breach of promise.
I took a steering wheel to the drivers license place and held it in front of me looking left at the camera. Policeman pulled me over and laughed so hard he let me go. True story.
It's the voice, the stare, the material, the timing. He's the whole package.
Kimrttkû
Fully, agree!✍️🫶🤣💘
And the hair
The man is a total genius. Come back Steven Wright, the world needs you!
All this time, I thought he passed away years ago…
He was recently on Conan's podcast. Whole video is on CZcams.
He had a clever comedic brain. Some of those jokes are pure gold. Un scented perfume, powdered water, love it
Blasting a blank tape and a mime complains....This man has the most twisted mind on the planet.
How wonderfully refreshing .... a clean comedian!! What a memory he has, and excellent delivery....clever and witty too.
The man is a genius love from Edinburgh Scotland.
Toy train schedules LMAO!!!!!!!😂
The wrapping paper joke! LOL!
2:06 “Choose a different print so he knows when to stop”. Hilarious 😂😂😂
Some of my top favorites:
"I have a cordless telephone cord. I keep it on my decaffeinated coffee table."
"I lost a button hole."
"Everyday I try and move my rug by telekinesis.
I've been doing this everyday for eight years, the rug hasn't moved an inch. The rest of the house is gone."
😂😂👍
Steven is the Jimi Hendrix of Comedy!!
Jimi Hendrix is the Stephen Wright of guitar
The speeding at 150 mph joke was absolute gold. "So im on my way to the stand - you know the rest." wow..
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time
“My God, he must’ve been Uuuggggeee!”-🐼🦨🦝👀💪
Thanks for sharing. After Carlin, Wright is the greatest.
He makes me appreciate the big questions like " do claustrophobic people ever really close their eyes. ? "
Thank you Steve.
The joke about the "high beams" reminded me that the switch used to be a button on the floor.
“ How fast is the speed of dark?” Lol
I've used that "seatbelt" joke a bunch of times!!
Steven Wright can and does out do all of the other comedians there ever was and is he absolutely awesome 😎 ❤😊
Robin Williams 😎
And I also agree with you 😜
Brilliant comedic poetry!
When god made George Carlin and Threw away the mold, he found the mold by accident later, turned it inside out and then made Steven Wright.. :-)
He filled in everything outside the mold
No obscenity no religious shock no race jokes. Smart and hilarious !
I actually did that elevator practice with my daughter when she was about four she punched me in the leg and told me it was stupid. Years later we were on an elevator and I looked at her and said aren't you glad I made you practice. She punched me in the shoulder.
Good one
Such a violent daughter!
Funniest man ever.
The Road Runner joke is gold!
Thank you so much as I need the stomach pain laugh !!!!!
MY VERY FIRST AND FAVORITE BY STEVEN WRIGHT WAS, I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT, THAT ALL THE BABIES PREVENTED BY THE PILL, CAME BACK. AND BOY WERE THEY PISSED! STILL MAKES ME LOL
Check out 1-7 wicker chair...this rocks!
I have a friend named George. People think George is weird because he has side burns growing behind his ears.
I think he’s weird because he has false teeth with braces on them.
The witness stand joke 😂
Nice boomerang on that one. Very clever
Didnt Mitch Hedberg steal that?
Again, fantastic -
I been telling the joke about the hitchhiker, seatbelt, and cartoons for years. How old is he? How old am I? These damn receding hairlines.😂
I went to see him years ago, and his show lasted 90 mins, trouble was, weeks before I went to see Ken Dodd, and his show lasted 3 and a half hours. Felt a bit short changed, lol.
amazing...classic.
I have an interactive answering machine; when people call they think they're having a conversation with me - now I'm being sued by six women for breach of promise.
Arrested for resisting arrest... cops actually do that...
Like he said, he was a peripheral visionary....
That part was a little too real, so he moved on. Lol
I know a guy who resisted arrest, he was really tired but he kept his eyes open anyways.
unscented perfume
My favorite: "I got a paper cut while writing a suicide note. It's a start..."
💥🔥🙃these are rare jokes he rarely used❤
When the ads get too thick I bail out !!
How does he remember all of these lines?!
Im a peripheral visionary...i can see in to the future just way off to the side
on the other hand, you have different fingers.
HILARIOUS!! PaulaC.
Omg how funny!!!
I had to disembark after about 15 minutes.
Small claims court jester.
no that's Steven Lefte
I wonder what's the age cutoff for catching the floor-mounted dimmer switch punchline?
I'm 32 and got it. But I think I'm an exception
1985 lol
Silence-Her?🤭🔥
what's a 5/7?
6:48 Predicted Pooty Tang
No that's Steven Wright
she was wearing pierced hearing aids.. Wow that's Awesome... lol
That boy just ain't wright.
😂
KONY 2012
Sad this generation would even get these jokes
Does it matter if I have the Rocky Bullwinkle b******* going on in here
I took a steering wheel to the drivers license place and held it in front of me looking left at the camera.
Policeman pulled me over and laughed so hard he let me go.
True story.
Pauly Shore on lithium
Definitely influenced by Rodney Dangerfield.