+Crazy Donut suicidal people are very special and are hurting and need to be loved. if you are suicidal I just want you to know that I love you and I care so deeply about you. you are a wonderful person and you are worth saving. its so nice to have you with us all , I have so much love in my heart for you i wish I could give you a hug to make you feel loved and accepted. you matter very much, you truly do. you all are loved.
Robert Rush please don't lie and tell a complete stranger that you love them. of course, i don't want anyone here to commit suicide or feel the need to and i'd never wish anything bad upon them, but telling them that i love them for no reason isn't doing them any good and i'd be doing nothing more than lying to them. i don't know them, therefore i can't love them. instead, i'd give them the suicide hotline (*1-800-273-8255*) and tell them to please get help immediately.
I'm the same way sometimes... And I think that I'm a worthless failure very often and that nobody really cares. they say they do but then I think sometimes if I actually did then I would help everyone in the long run. I'm screwed up.
Thoughts of violence towards others and one's self is not something to be honest about. One has to cope and work on it but keep the privacy level very close.
Totally. I often think that if there were a pill that could guaranteed instant, painless death then I would take it. Sometimes I feel good, even ecstatic, but that's the exception, not the rule. I'm usually either depressed, or dealing with volatile thoughts and emotions which are exhausting. The line from true detective describing life as a "thresher" rings so true.
Jeremy Salmons I know how you feel but here is a reminder of some joy music. family. friends. cats. laughing. dancing. the sun. the moon. eating so much you can't move. smoking a blunt. chocolate. Christmas lights. I mean there's unlimited more but there's a start haha
The suicidal hotline in the US is terrible. The lady I talked with was so rude!! We only talked for about 3 minutes. She acted as if I was bothering her and she seemed in a hurry. I was so hurt. It took a lot of guts for make the call and I was so nervous. I cried and cried after the phone call. I’ll never forget how small and insignificant she made me feel.
+Gina Allison. Gina you are more than worth it. you matter so very much its so nice to have you in this world because you are so very special and you are a blessing to us all. you are wanted, you are needed, and you are dearly loved. oh its so good that you are alive and with us , do you know that you are so very special? you are and you matter so very much. bless your wonderful heart
Gina Allison i made a stop to my psycho consultations and to the drugs they gave me. i was so much optimisric and now no i do bot recommand the use of drugs.
I find it very difficult to look people in the eye when I speak to them about my issues so much so that I find myself completely turning away from them, I am worried that a therapist wouldn't believe what I am saying if they think I am lying...
iona jehu I know this was months ago, but I don't think that would be an issue. I feel the same way, and most would almost definitely understand that speaking about these things is difficult for people face to face, so I wouldn't worry.
Why do so many think you are seeking attention when you tell them you have had suicidal thought even though you cannot imagine going through with it? I'm 35 and have combat related ptsd and have had a most difficult time maintaining friends when I told them what it is like for me to face my daily struggles. I feel like if I do not talk about it with friends, I feel like I am hiding my true self, yet in the same aspect it seems like most don't want to hear about the struggles of others. If that makes sense?
Brent Leslie I know how you feel, not exactly but in a way. I just got out of a 6 month abusive relationship (in which time I became addicted to self harm) and now the only thing I need to do is heal but I feel so embarrassed and like such a burden to talk about what I'm going through even to the people closest to me. if you (or anyone who sees my comment) want to talk and heal each other you can email me @ mynameishenrygeorgelol@gmail.com I had to make a fake email for purposes such as these. Stay strong I can't even imagine how you feel but I think you are the strongest person for enduring that every day and fighting to be okay. :)
Brent Leslie sometimes I think when people are uncomfortable with a subject transference occurs in ways of making a joke or saying something back which could be in fact taken sensitively. some people claim to be open and able to cope with honesty but in fact cannot and do not know how to deal with or react to the situation.
Basically people just don't give a shit and don't want to hear anything that's negative or depressing unless it's about them...Ohhh then thats different, then you have to listen and comfort them. I can relate to you. Unfortunately it's rare now that people actually genuinely care. Its funny tho if we were 6 feet under they would b at our graves crying how much they loved us and wish they said something bla bla lol. Sometimes it's hard when you have a big family and lots of friends but know deep down they are only great when your great but when you truly need them and that's rare they are not there for you not even doing the basic shit. It took me 2 years to get the courage to tell my mum I feel suicidal, I don't feel anything I don't want to be here and she said "oh I didn't think you'd ever think like that your always so strong and independent....so I'm gonna move out the flat soon and I reaaaally want a new car" that was my support lol. Apparently this is normal. I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I hope you find true happiness in your own skin and in your life.
Melody Once when I was a child, I had a brain fart and threw my mini banana in the trash after I peeled it instead of the peel. I didn't cry but I thought this story was pretty funny lol
One time when I was maybe 12 or 13, I couldn't find something in my room, and after looking for it for less than 5 minutes, I just sat on the floor and started crying, which was abnormal behavior for me. The thing wasn't even important. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was probably just some knick knack. I didn't break anything, though haha. That's pretty funny.
I’m 62 and thought I couldn’t get help. From someone so much younger, but YAY! I’m grateful to you and your young wisdom and compassion! Having seen several therapists over the years, you’re in my Top two! ♥️☮️🎈
If a person is having suicidal thoughts, how can they get help WITHOUT having to go to the hospital or being admitted into a mental ward of some kind?!!? Does anyone know?!!? I wouldn't even mind being admitted into the hospital IF they weren't going to try putting me on all sorts of medicine that just COMPOUNDS my problems and makes them so much worse. And, IF I knew (for sure) that they wouldn't try putting me in some mental ward of some kind (which would exasperate the problem even worse than putting me into some hospital and putting me on all sorts of meds that just make my problems much worse). I am NOT suicidal right now. But, there ARE times where I do get like that. And, I need help at those times. But, I am scared to go into the hospital as they might admit me and then try to pump me FULL of meds that just make my problems so much worse. Or, they might put me into some mental ward of some kind, too. And, that makes a person NOT want to get help (even though you know that you NEED it). Any suggestions?!!? Thanks!!!
Shadow Delivery I've done that before, though, and they wanted me to go into the hospital and then they tried putting me in a mental ward just because I was severely depressed. And, being in a mental ward would make the situation a LOT worse for me. I was kind of hoping that I could find a way to talk to someone without having to go into the mental ward (or even necessarily be admitted into the hospital and be put on a bunch of meds that also make the situation worse than it already is). You know what I mean? But, hey, thanks for the advice. I definitely appreciate your help (and advice).
David- I know I'm very late on this and I hope you're doing much better now! Try talking to a friend, if you have one, that's encouraging and positive by nature. Just unload and if it's a situation that's making you feel suicidal then work on changing the situation somehow. I like to try to pinpoint what might be the issue. Even if you can't solve why you feel this way, it helps to know WHY you feel this way.
WOW! I’m so glad someone talked about their parent not consenting to in-patient therapy. I had an eating disorder that started at 13 (exercise bulimia) and got so much worse by 16 to the point where there was no going around it, and I was desperate for help. I voiced it to my mom (my only “parent”), and she said, “oh, you just need to quit doing that.” I had bulimia, binge-eat SO BAD and I was on diet pills... completely debilitating and embarrassing, nonetheless. Affected my extremities(discoloration)/energy. My mom was not helpful and I reached out for help at a treatment center. I had to bring my mom with me, and she then TURNED INTO THE VICTIM and tried to come up with a story of why I was just a moody teenager. My GOD!! I lost hope in her ever being a mother to me completely. I’m 20 now, and I WISH I could’ve had that HELP at 16! I swear, if your child wants inpatient therapy, give them that RIGHT to do so.
Most nights I don't care much whether I wake up the next day if it feels like it's just going to be another day like today was. No interest, purpose, motivation, etc.
Trapped with a narcissist has driven me to attempt 5 times now, the last time I almost succeeded. I actually died and was brought back to spend 4 days alone in ICU without even a phone call from husband or grown children ☹️ this made me more suicidal and I fight it...so I cut even more!
+Autumn Keech Criss Hey, I was scared of this too. I was 14 at the time. Your therapist can only break confidentiality if you are in immediate danger or someone else is. You could tell your therapist that you struggle with suicide thoughts but if you say you have a plan and that you intend to carry out your plan when you get home for example, then your therapist has to act. If your are in this much pain then please tell. Take care
I wish someone had been there for me. I'm 26 now and had to wait till I was 18 to get the help I needed. Nobody really understood how bad it was and I didn't share as I thought they would think less of me for struggling. Take care and best of luck with everything.
Today, I had a really bad panic attack and the nurse called for the counsellor. She (counsellor) saw my scars and stuff and she said that cutting is a sin and if I ever do it again, she would report me :( I hate it here. People won't take me seriously and they don't try to understand. I asked my parents if I could get some help, they said no bc it was just a phase blah blah blah. Help.
Today I almost broke down in tears just because my leg was itching. It was very irritating, lotion and scratching wouldn't stop it. But seriously, wtf? First that's no reason to even get stressed. And second I had a perfectly fine day. So yeah, I do that a lot. Remote won't work, get unreasonably angry over it. But something really stressful happens and I'm just like, nothing. Deal with it and move on. But I better not stub my toe or all hell will break out.
1. I'm grateful I found your channel. 2. I'm grateful I told my Mum about my a Self Harm yesterday (so much relief now) 3. I'm grateful for being healthy, and strong.
I am a very heavily guarded person and over the years have perfected the mask that I wear in the outside world. The difficulty is that it is so well constructed and such a natural part of me that I can't tell a lot of the time when I am experiencing real emotion or if I am just a projection of whoever i'm talking to. It makes it especially difficult to connect with my therapist because I can't tell if I am being honest about what I feel or if I am just telling her what I thinks she wants to here from me. Any help on how to overcome this?
Omg me too, is this with just your therapist or others as well? Mine is abusive judgmental mother, now I trust noone and am always in self preservation(or self-centered) mode, but for existence sake I don the "I know what I'm doing" face and get up everyday. Anyway, more towards your comment, if we are able to assimilate and adapt our own behavior to different social interactions, then what is the 'real' me/you? Does that make sense?
I have never heard someone else that felt like this! I have built a mask since i was 6 and now I literally find myself laughing and realising that I don't even find it funny it's just by body reacting to the outside world to hide me.
I will cry over small things (small to other people, anyways) and sometimes, depending on how much it upset me, I will consider myself worthless and want to die. It used to be worse, but now it is less often and whenever I think that I argue with myself over it, arguing that what I’m feeling is an overreaction. I am not tired and I am able to enjoy myself. Am I depressed? Is this suicidal behavior? And should I be seeing a therapist? Note: it’s been harder to argue with myself because I thought I was getting better than I was.
Philine Schlegel I know how you feel. ❤ You should keep trying until you find someone. I guarantee that there's someone out there who's willing to stay by you until you feel better!
I want to go and get help. But my anxiety gets in the way of building the courage to go get the therapy and counseling, even talking to my own mother because she never takes these things seriously is terrifying. She always gets angry or upset, never understands, and because of that I don't tell her anything. At this point, I would rather walk into a mental institution and check myself in, without my parents, than even continue trying to get help. I'm just over it now.
Thank you for all your videos. During some very bleak times, they have been a light of guidance and assurance. May God richly bless you with happiness and more importantly, contentment.
My suicidal thoughts are what push me to seek out a therapist. I'm scared of myself cause I've thought and written how, when and where will it be (suicide). They have been constant and plaguing me. I have depression for years and every relapse is getting stronger. I have talk to a therapist once and have no cousrage to tell my parents.
i live in finland and i have trouble taken seriously. i told my psychiatrist that i am extremely suicidal and she just said to take my medication and go back to school
All your information is very helpful and have assisted me in figuring out why I am the way I am. but this particular video had a lot of personality in it and that in itself helped me. thank you.
Ive had a sudden crying spell before, maybe two. Theyre actually pretty normal in certain situations. Most recently it happened when I had moved out of my parents house. In the afternoon I got on a plane, flew across the country, they lost my bags, i went to my place, met my room mate, went out to get some food, etc. Then it was late, I was tired and went to bed. Turned on my gameboy advance to play before I slept, and just broke down crying. It didnt last for long, and I'm not ashamed of it. It was a hugely stressful day, with everything stopping me from really having time to stop and think about it all. First chance I got, I crashed. I just wanted to share this to show that even in situations where nothing is going really wrong (I knew I'd get my stuff back eventually, wasnt a big deal.) you can still have this happen just from being overwhelmed.
even when you have a plan and you are so lost and feel sincerely like dying and you bring yourself to a hospital they don't take you seriously. . They say if you were able to get here and your asking for help then your not that bad. how dose one deal with that?
@katimorton i have been watching you for a long time and in the psych ward right now been here since 4/27/2024 i was detoxed and transfered to the psych ward for ideations and suicide attempt i hid a plastic butter knife off my lunch trey while detoxing and sharpend it on the metal edge of my bed side table and cut open my wrists and arm and was on suicide watch for 9 days then transfered to the psych ward i can honestly tell you that you have saved my life your vidos are life saving thank you for doing all you do
Hey I was born with a brain injury and depression. I have had a head tic since I was 2 years old. I was suicidal the other day. I’m glad now that I didn’t succeed. For the first time I can see a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Thanks again.
Kati being hypothetically grateful for a parking spot “right up front” is awesome. I call parking spots “right up front” *_”Rock Star Parking“_* and parking _near_ the front *_”Punk-Rock Star Parking”_* . Thanks for making me laugh. Things have been difficult for a while and it felt good.
i journal a lot. i just haven't been myself lately. been going through a lot lately. it makes me feel better when i write it down all my feelings. when i get the urge to cut i grab a marker or pen and i draw or write on myself.
I have been voluntarily in patient before because of suicidal ideation. I had intrusive thoughts to do harm. I got the help i needed. The assessment was easier to do than I thought.
Depending on what school you go too,you can get counselling there where you can take your time in explaining what is wrong. They also help you talk to your family.
I'm in the UK and have never had problems finding a counsellor, the problem is the free/cheap ones have really long waiting lists, which tends to be a problem when you feel really bad NOW.
When suicidal, what does going to the hospital actually do and help with? Do they have magic medicine we don't? And if so, can I get some out here? Seems like it is just going to cause more problems.
The way you talk and your mannerisms and how you say "Okay?" reminds me of someone I know so much, but I can't place it and I keep trying to think of who you remind me of and I can't figure it out!! 😂 Anyone else have someone she reminds them of?
How many times a week/day is it normal for someone to cry. In 12 and I cry about 2 times a day sometimes 3 times and sometimes for hours on end. I feel like a failure. I can't scream because I can't bring myself to do it I get too anxious or get a therapist because no one knows which means I also can't tell my friends because they might hate me like everyone at my school hates me
I am also high functioning, never a problem excelling at work. But I have fought major depression or depression not otherwise specified with SI for 21 months. As Kati said, professionals have always taken my SI seriously. When I say I am planning to do it, or I have a method and was ready to execute it, I get the help I needed. Today, I have a go to med I use to keep SI at bay. I use a very low level for maintenance, but if I were triggered, I would be able to take a little more and be okay the next day. But I promised to check in to a hospital where my psychiatrist practices if I am overwhelmed. And I had to do that once. So, that is my plan of last resort, go back there and get safe and get help.
I'm in the UK and have had trouble being taken seriously, too. Some professionals aren't very good, and you may have to fight to get treatment... Like, go to another GP, or I saw a mental health advisor (at university) who then wrote a note to my GP. Again, some therapists can be unhelpful. Persevere. I've have a couple of horror stories, but I'm seeing a very good ED specialist now. I spoke to her the other day about my feelings of being a "fake" and not "ill enough", and she was really great about it. She said that they wouldn't have offered me appointments if they thought it wasn't serious. So, yeah, keep going with seeking treatment. There are good doctors and therapists out there.
I'm passively suicidal. I dont have plans, but I think about it every day. Not like those quick thoughts either. Like, just... the idea of it. Would it make me feel better? Would people really miss me? Stuff like that. And sometimes I think about how I would do it, I guess. I hear about people going to the hospital and getting better there. I want help like that. All I have right now is medication and my family, sitting there thinking everything is alright. I've told my mom, and she said she was going to tell my psychiatrist when we saw him next, but she didn't, and I didn't remind her. I still haven't. I think they dont get it. I feel like just telling them again won't help. For all the courage it'll take, it's not worth it. Actions speak louder than words. I'm 13, and if I was an adult, I'd just go check myself into the hospital. I just want to feel better. And I don't want to try and convince them to take me. They won't. They won't understand. They're really good parents, but they've never dealt with these thoughts. They won't get it. How bad it is. What I have in mind to fix it. Am I sick enough yet? Or do I have to be actively suicidal?
I love your videos they are always so helpful and give me something to look forward to :) hahaha I finally figured out that its a key holder on your wall, for the longest time I thought it was a gun hanging on the wall lol.
I was in a well being group where i learned strategies to cope with anxiety, and one i found useful for separating yourself from your anxiety was by closing your eyes thinking of a shape to give your anxiety and see it as a horrible monster sitting in your shoulder and you should name it also take time to name it and that gives you the first strength in knowing you gave it its name its shape and separated it from being part of you to just an annoying thing who will try everything to get you worked up because it wants you to feed it and it grows wen being fed anxiety so it takes practise but it works wen you feel your getting to that point remember it this monster who wants to grow and tell it no your not getting anything from me today its a good way to gain the feeling of being in charge plus it help remind you that anxiety is present with you but its not a part of who you are . The more you feed it the more it grows
Katie, I'm scared. I've only had a suicidal thought/feeling once a couple years ago, until now. Now this past week on Wednesday and Thursday night as I was laying in bed to go to sleep "kill myself" kept popping up in my brain. I have no feeling that I want to do this, yet it kept repeating. I don't understand why. I told my husband about it, and I'm trying to get an appointment with my therapist. I work and have a lot of appointments for my baby, so I feel like I don't have time to get to therapy, yet I know I need to. I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist April 10th. My worry is, will these thoughts end up making me do something I don't want to do? Does happen to people? Can people get to a point where they feel like they're not in control? It worries me. Thank you for your help.
Hey Kristen13, how are you today? It sounds that you might be suffering with Harm OCD/Suicidal OCD. I truly am sorry that you're going through that..sounds really hard. I hope you will find a great therapist that will help you with this.
as she said about granting it helps me a lot by writing it down then burning that paper.one reason why this helps me is that no one else can read it if you aren't telling anyone
I have experience with health care systems in the Netherlands and Hungary. Netherlands: my maths teacher sent me to the counsellor at school because she noticed I was feeling down. My counsellor asked me about my issues and at first I refused to speak but then eventually I told her about my family, eating and mood issues. She asked me whether I thought of suicide and when I said yes she called in my parents the same day (it was a Friday afternoon/evening). My parents said there was't a need but she told them there was and wrote an urgent request to my doctor to refer me to a psychologist. I got help in a matter of weeks, it was al covered by insurance. Hungary: my form tutor noticed scars on my arm and discussed that with me, then convinced me to see the school counsellor (note: this is a private school, I don't think Hungarian state schools have a counsellor). She wasn't particularly helpful but really nice, and she basically convinced me to reach out to further help. My form tutor helped me by writing my stepmom a email, asking her to assist in finding an english speaking psychiatrist. She did, and I got help. This psychiatrist is private (so not covered by insurance. Cost is 12000 HUF/hour. I do have Hungarian insurance for the medication she prescribes, and those are really cheap, maybe 1000 HUF/month) So basically I got help in the Netherlands and Hungary, despite the fact that I am a straight-A student
I don't have a therapist because I don't have insurance and I was denied for state insurance my problem's with my manic depression, bpd, anxiety, ptsd, ocd is getting worse I cry all the time I lash out in anger crying is suposed to make you feel better but after I cry I feel so much worse. :(
I'm from the UK and I attempted suicide a couple of months ago, thinking that even if I didn't die, I would finally be taken seriously but nothing's changed. In hospital no one really spoke to me and I was just made to feel bad for the way I was feeling and to be honest I felt extremely alienated. I attempted on a Friday and I was back at school the following Monday, where my guidance teacher spoke to me extremely quickly as she is always in a hurry and never has time for a proper conversation. My favourite teacher was also told and all I felt was that she didn't care, and I feel she still doesn't. I was referred onto cahms which is a child's mental health service in the uk, and they were no help at all. The woman who came and spoke to me accepted everything I said, just the same as everyone else, which I was slightly surprised about. I'd thought that someone who had attempted suicide 3 days ago wouldn't be taken seriously when I said I was fine and had nothing to talk about?
I met with the woman 4 times before she declared me 'better' and that was the end of it. Everyone was getting fed up with me so I had to continue with my act of being fine. 3 months down the line, I continually think about suicide except when I'm having good times. I'm either extremely happy or I'm numb. Not numb like I can't feel anything, more numb like I can feel but it doesn't affect me if that makes sense? One of my best friends also has suicidal thoughts and has never opened up to someone before and then last months had a late night conversation where we told each other how we feel and we told each other our dates. When I'm on normal days I can admit that somethings wrong but she never can. I once asked her if she would ever go and see a doctor and she told me she had nothing to go and see a doctor about. I know she does, as do I, and her date is before mine. I feel like I have no options whatsoever, I've done everything I possibly can to help myself.
I feel like I'm just surviving until my date which is, thankfully, soon. My only worry is that I'm on an up when my date comes. I don't even know if I want to die, I think I just want it all to stop. I want to be normal but at the same time, without this, what do I have left? I just really really want people to care and they don't and I can't deal with that. I forgot to mention before but I'm 15 and have felt this way since I was 10.
I'm from England to and regards to the first question I visited my GP and they done nothing it wasn't until I went to A&E that things got sorted out by the mental health services and got to see a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist, hope that helps in any way :)
I live in the UK. I guess I am also high functioning, and I struggled with some issues for a almost a year on my own. I ended up in A&E after an attempt on my life and that's when I got referred to CAMHS (since I was underage). I guess I was lucky that they took me seriously and they were able to see me within a few weeks. I then had a consultation meeting and started seeing someone the week after. The first person I started seeing was rather unhelpful, and I felt threatened into recovering. The second person who I started seeing a year later was so much more helpful.
in the UK, they do look for functioning signs as I was talking to someone from a charitable organisation, I described in detail a suicide plan and because I didn't cut myself and could still function in daily life. that was four months ago and I have another three months before I even get an evaluation.
I see a therapist and a councilor the first day I seen her I told her I'll be honest with you if you will be honest with me I don't want you to sugar coat shit . Just tell me what it is . She said I sure can and I love her. She brutal I live it . I call her when I am in a bad place and she tells me how it is . She's a blessing
I'm in the UK and recently had my eating disorder assessmentI got my asesement and being referrd o a eating disorder clinic who then set up the assessment (I hope this helps as I was very nervous and had no idea what was going to happen)..........at the start it was very formal and factual as they initially asked about information to do with jobs, finance and school we also had to fill out some paperwork and sign a few things. I don't remember everything but he asked about my symptoms so e.g. binging/purging/ restricting and asked about any health issues i'd experienced. we spoke a lot about my diet habits and the frequency of the binge purging and about when the eating disorder started and how it starts.he then asked about self-harm and alcohol or drug misuse and then moved on to ask about the situation at home and asked about all of my relationships a home. towards the very end I filled out a motivation scale where I placed my self a scale of 1-10 for topics such as 'how motivated are you to recover?' and 'how likely do you think your are to recover? finally at the end of the session they allow you to invite a parent/guardian/or friend to come in but you can refuse and ask about their main concerns at home and ways to move forward as a family. we then spoke about the kind of treatment I will receive. the session is around 2 hours typically but mine was a bit longer. I hope that this helps you understand the structure of the assessments and you can get treatment xxx
I liked your poker chip analogy! I was thinking about because I was taught the same thing with spoons. If anyone doesn’t know what spoon theory is, basically you wake up with a certain amount of kitchen utensils. You might start with, idk, 5 straws, 2 forks, but for some reason you don’t have a spoon that day. You can eat your breakfast cereal with a fork, but it’s hard with a straw because you can only drink the milk. You have energy to drive to school or work, but not to do the work. I really like these types of analogies because they help to explain why sometimes we just don’t have the capacity to do something at specific times, especially to people who have a smaller or different understanding about what you’re feeling.
The time where I was the best in the class was actually the time where I was struggling the most (eating disorder) I was that good because I was obsessed with being perfect.
I live in Greece and my therapist didn't ask me any of that we just talk about all the symptoms ( anxiety ) and past experiences or disorders that might have lead to that. I do go to school ( IB ) but that doesn't mean that I'm not struggling so you're not being judged
How do you be honest with people when all they say is that it’s in my head. Like obviously, thank for shutting me down the minute I reach out....and you wonder why I never talk ....
I've made it up to the point where I thought about how I would end it, but it wasn't a plan I would go by exactly, even though I told myself as soon as I felt I needed to I would end myself, these thoughts still occurs everyday, there's a lot behind it and personally I feel like I'm just broken. Is it normal for a fourteen year old like me to have these thoughts everyday. I just feel like randomly crying out of nowhere and then I think to myself if I killed myself who would actually care, and then I think... no oneI just want to know if this is out of the ordinaryPlz can anyone just give me an answer? It would be much appreciated
Recently I took a step in the direction of ending my life. I was thwarted in this step by the laws of my state. I know have to figure out which direction I will moving towards, life or not life. I am trying different med combinations with the help of my Doctor. The thoughts are still here everyday.
When I was in the hospital, we had a violent patient who lashed out and punched one of the male nurses and a security guard. All of the patients in our ward were under lock-down while they got him under control and I was so scared that I practically holed up in my room to cry because I was so upset from it. Like I actually went into fight or flight mode and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack because it was so scary.
I love the poker chips metaphor. I just know I can only do so much everyday and therapist agreed, I have to make such small goals compared to mentally health well it's so disappointing why can't I do more. I wish I could express this more. I just can't even literally lift one foot in front of other.
Europe - DID, Depression and Anti-Stress pills for extreme paranoia diagnosis. My diagnosis took years and were really stressing. I began showing signs as a child (what people told me, I only have flashbacks and they terrify me). Then, when we have moved a country I began to hallucinate all over again and lose memory. My hallucinations appeared as a huge black animal covered in blood. It was either standing by my bed while staring at me, or following me when I was outside. It lasted for 3 years without any treatment when I reached towards suicidal thoughts, self-harm, aggression towards most people around me and insomnia due to fear. Fucked up, but only then my mother finally realized that what I was going through was really serious. At first I was undiagnosed, and they gave sleeping pills and sent me back home. We came back two months later after school counselor got really worried. This time psychiatrist diagnosed me with schizophrenia. Me and my mother later decided to change the doctor, and that’s when I had been given medication (Atarax and Zoloft), psychotherapy and diagnosis of DID, Depression and etc. I am now getting help but sometimes it does not feel like enough. But it is very important to be honest with your doctor and I know that its hard. Remember that they want to help you, they will base your diagnosis on your answers same as treatment. But also make sure that you like your doctor and that they know what they are doing. Good luck:)
Kati, I have had suicidal thoughts for about 2 years. However I never make a plan, I barely look up ways to do it, because I am afraid that that will get me closer to it and set my mind more focussed on it. Now that I am not planning I feel 'sober' and can convince myself not to do it because I do not want to hurt my loved ones. I recently reached out to a therapist but now I feel like I shouldn't have. Have I made a mistake?
ive been wanting to jump off of a tall building yet not get hurt or die if that makes sense and every time i feel sad after i just feel pathetic about it. and i dont know if i should tell my parents or not, i need some help on it
I'm high functioning and feeling overwhelmed. I'm a combat veteran and I am being treated for depression. I normally I feel a general "when is life over". Not sure if this fall into "passive sudicie thoughts". I don't have a plan to take my life. I just want life to hurry up and be over. I use work, household shores, reading, and studying about natural hair routines as a distraction. But today I feel my depression and anxiety is trying to out smart be like "lol you think you can out smart me with healthy distraction". I'm not on meds cause I don't like the side effects recently prozac now makes me more tired and gives me diarrhea. So stopped taking it. I looked into natural remedies at Whole Foods. I started listening to meditation high vibration music while I sleep. I noticed it helped. I'm tired and exhausted all the time but since I'm high functioning I masked depression and anxiety with work and doing my hair and cooking. These are all healthy and helpful. I just don't think it's enough. I'm tired of being the strong person the bigger person, always strategizing, problem solving always dealing life, managing myself, dealing with others. I always want to be left alone with my thoughts, trying to sort out how not to act how I feel but act reasonable. If anyone reading this can make sense of this. Please help. I'm gonna reach out to my local VA tomorrow thanks for listening/reading. Look for to read your response. Thanks
No one takes me seriously, unless I self harm, and even then, I just get discharged, turned away and told "you're too well" WHAT? How? How do I prove that I'm not ok?
I hate to say it but my experience in the UK is pretty bad. When I was 16 in CAMHS it was quick and efficient, cause your under 18 they are considered responsible so they are not bad depending in the area you live, they will at least give you counselling. Since I turned 18 the adult service is crap, I went strait from day patient unit to one appointment a month, then I lost a load of weight in a month (had bowel op that almost killed me, literally) but when I next went in they weighed me and said you are not trying go. I was trying my best (had a colostomy bag forgodsake) but they said they either wanted me full inpatient or nothing to do with me (no dietician, therapist, family counselor) as my medical health risks due to all the ops ect were high they didnt want to see me and have me die, so it was better to have complete control where they could tube me or no contact at all. They still refuse to help me even though I have asked over a year later as I am struggling. And I'm someone who wants to get better but can't. It's disappointing. My point is you are under 18 so get help now while your still in CAMHS as they will help you. Please do this to help the rest of your life xxxxxx
Gemma Brown I know right! UK really is the worst I've seen for mental health care. I'm literally on the verge of schizophrenic and all that has been done to treat me is some talking therapy with volunteers.
I haven't had a personal experience, but my friend was on a waiting list for counselling for 6 months and then they let her go because she couldn't make it to 3 of her appointments, but it wasn't like she just decided not to turn up - one time she was too physically ill, another time she had no way of getting there and the final time she had an autism screening that she'd been waiting for for ages. I mean I understand that there is a long waiting list so they have to make sure that everyone in counselling isn't just wasting the staff's time, but surely her reasons for missing those appointments are valid? It just makes me mad, mental health care really needs to be improved here.
I'm not suidcidal but if there was a car coming my way I wouldn't exactly move away...
Tiffany Redhill you are passively suicidal :(
+Crazy Donut suicidal people are very special and are hurting and need to be loved. if you are suicidal I just want you to know that I love you and I care so deeply about you. you are a wonderful person and you are worth saving. its so nice to have you with us all , I have so much love in my heart for you i wish I could give you a hug to make you feel loved and accepted. you matter very much, you truly do. you all are loved.
Robert Rush please don't lie and tell a complete stranger that you love them. of course, i don't want anyone here to commit suicide or feel the need to and i'd never wish anything bad upon them, but telling them that i love them for no reason isn't doing them any good and i'd be doing nothing more than lying to them. i don't know them, therefore i can't love them. instead, i'd give them the suicide hotline (*1-800-273-8255*) and tell them to please get help immediately.
I'm the same way sometimes... And I think that I'm a worthless failure very often and that nobody really cares. they say they do but then I think sometimes if I actually did then I would help everyone in the long run. I'm screwed up.
Tiffany Redhill do you want to talk?
It's easy to say, "be honest" when one doesn't face the acute threat of being involuntarily incarcerated in a mental ward for being thruthful.
The one thing I hate. Even if I do not say the truth they do admit me and when I say the truth they admit me..
Thoughts of violence towards others and one's self is not something to be honest about. One has to cope and work on it but keep the privacy level very close.
And CPS being sent to your home because you had mental health concerns for yourself.
THIS, am scared af
@Nate Ward Yes, they DO admit you for self harm! It's called a 5150 hold....
Not much joy in this world I swear if there were a get me off this planet button I'd hit it
I feel like you
+Yuchen chen I would have tapped out years ago.. But gotta soldier on.
Totally. I often think that if there were a pill that could guaranteed instant, painless death then I would take it. Sometimes I feel good, even ecstatic, but that's the exception, not the rule. I'm usually either depressed, or dealing with volatile thoughts and emotions which are exhausting. The line from true detective describing life as a "thresher" rings so true.
Jeremy Salmons I know how you feel but here is a reminder of some joy
music. family. friends. cats. laughing. dancing. the sun. the moon. eating so much you can't move. smoking a blunt. chocolate. Christmas lights. I mean there's unlimited more but there's a start haha
And people like you !! That is very sweet thank you !
I wish you were my therapist 😕
Tara B same ... She seems to understand so much
Tara B same
A lot of therapist are like her, but also she is trying to reach a broad audience so that will effect how she speaks
I wish I could get a therapist
I'm lucky to have found a therapist that reminds me of Katie. I'm very grateful for that.
The suicidal hotline in the US is terrible. The lady I talked with was so rude!! We only talked for about 3 minutes. She acted as if I was bothering her and she seemed in a hurry. I was so hurt. It took a lot of guts for make the call and I was so nervous. I cried and cried after the phone call. I’ll never forget how small and insignificant she made me feel.
This comment is old and I hope you're doing better now.
@@YeetoLavito Yes, I’m doing much better now. Found a great psychiatrist and she is really helping me. 😀
I feel sorry for you 😞
i want to die but I dont have the courage to do anything about it
Roberts Email It’s not courage. Committing suicide is horrible, and not courageous at all. It’s the furthest from courageous.
hee hee it is courageous to overcome your survival instincts and to intentionally do something that is the worst fear for most people; death
I’m just too lazy to go out and actually do it
@Roberts Email I know exactly what you mean.
Me too...
I'm ill and i'm going to recover because i deserve it !
Mohamed Amin I want to be like you Mohamed but I don't know how to believe I'm worth it, I just think I want to be dead
Gina Allison everyone deserves to get well and you are not less than anyone
Mohamed Amin I'm so happy for you! I wish you all the best during your recovery :)
+Gina Allison. Gina you are more than worth it. you matter so very much its so nice to have you in this world because you are so very special and you are a blessing to us all. you are wanted, you are needed, and you are dearly loved. oh its so good that you are alive and with us , do you know that you are so very special? you are and you matter so very much. bless your wonderful heart
Gina Allison i made a stop to my psycho consultations and to the drugs they gave me. i was so much optimisric and now no i do bot recommand the use of drugs.
I find it very difficult to look people in the eye when I speak to them about my issues so much so that I find myself completely turning away from them, I am worried that a therapist wouldn't believe what I am saying if they think I am lying...
i feel like that as well
iona jehu I know this was months ago, but I don't think that would be an issue. I feel the same way, and most would almost definitely understand that speaking about these things is difficult for people face to face, so I wouldn't worry.
iona jehu Same here
I laugh when I talk about my issues and it's probably why people don't take me seriously and think I'm a joke.
Well my case the same xept i blush real bad due to social anxiety
Why do so many think you are seeking attention when you tell them you have had suicidal thought even though you cannot imagine going through with it? I'm 35 and have combat related ptsd and have had a most difficult time maintaining friends when I told them what it is like for me to face my daily struggles. I feel like if I do not talk about it with friends, I feel like I am hiding my true self, yet in the same aspect it seems like most don't want to hear about the struggles of others. If that makes sense?
Brent Leslie I know how you feel, not exactly but in a way. I just got out of a 6 month abusive relationship (in which time I became addicted to self harm) and now the only thing I need to do is heal but I feel so embarrassed and like such a burden to talk about what I'm going through even to the people closest to me. if you (or anyone who sees my comment) want to talk and heal each other you can email me @ mynameishenrygeorgelol@gmail.com
I had to make a fake email for purposes such as these. Stay strong I can't even imagine how you feel but I think you are the strongest person for enduring that every day and fighting to be okay. :)
prob cuz that's wat u honestly need an havnt got enough but they are butt wholes
Brent Leslie sometimes I think when people are uncomfortable with a subject transference occurs in ways of making a joke or saying something back which could be in fact taken sensitively. some people claim to be open and able to cope with honesty but in fact cannot and do not know how to deal with or react to the situation.
Basically people just don't give a shit and don't want to hear anything that's negative or depressing unless it's about them...Ohhh then thats different, then you have to listen and comfort them. I can relate to you. Unfortunately it's rare now that people actually genuinely care. Its funny tho if we were 6 feet under they would b at our graves crying how much they loved us and wish they said something bla bla lol. Sometimes it's hard when you have a big family and lots of friends but know deep down they are only great when your great but when you truly need them and that's rare they are not there for you not even doing the basic shit. It took me 2 years to get the courage to tell my mum I feel suicidal, I don't feel anything I don't want to be here and she said "oh I didn't think you'd ever think like that your always so strong and independent....so I'm gonna move out the flat soon and I reaaaally want a new car" that was my support lol. Apparently this is normal. I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I hope you find true happiness in your own skin and in your life.
@@iiLoveGaGa hah. Weird...our names are both Amy Lynn, and we both left an e-mail for people to reach out. Weird.
Once I dropped a mini pizza on the floor and I cried for like 2 hours and broke a couple plates... lol.
Melody Once when I was a child, I had a brain fart and threw my mini banana in the trash after I peeled it instead of the peel. I didn't cry but I thought this story was pretty funny lol
One time when I was maybe 12 or 13, I couldn't find something in my room, and after looking for it for less than 5 minutes, I just sat on the floor and started crying, which was abnormal behavior for me. The thing wasn't even important. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was probably just some knick knack. I didn't break anything, though haha. That's pretty funny.
That’s a tough blow though
That's me with bumping my toe.
One time I had a really stressful day at work and since I have very bad coping skill along with my alters, I c*t the pain and frustration away.
im so happy i found this channel everyone is so much nicer than other parts of youtube.
yellowbricktoad I totally agree!! Glad you found it!
"I cant see a parent saying no"..... uh guess that depends on your parents.
All about that $.
I’m 62 and thought I couldn’t get help. From someone so much younger, but YAY! I’m grateful to you and your young wisdom and compassion! Having seen several therapists over the years, you’re in my Top two! ♥️☮️🎈
If a person is having suicidal thoughts, how can they get help WITHOUT having to go to the hospital or being admitted into a mental ward of some kind?!!? Does anyone know?!!? I wouldn't even mind being admitted into the hospital IF they weren't going to try putting me on all sorts of medicine that just COMPOUNDS my problems and makes them so much worse. And, IF I knew (for sure) that they wouldn't try putting me in some mental ward of some kind (which would exasperate the problem even worse than putting me into some hospital and putting me on all sorts of meds that just make my problems much worse). I am NOT suicidal right now. But, there ARE times where I do get like that. And, I need help at those times. But, I am scared to go into the hospital as they might admit me and then try to pump me FULL of meds that just make my problems so much worse. Or, they might put me into some mental ward of some kind, too. And, that makes a person NOT want to get help (even though you know that you NEED it). Any suggestions?!!? Thanks!!!
Try calling or texting a crisis help line. They've been helpful to me before... Try texting 741741 if you are suicidal. They're great.
Shadow Delivery I've done that before, though, and they wanted me to go into the hospital and then they tried putting me in a mental ward just because I was severely depressed. And, being in a mental ward would make the situation a LOT worse for me. I was kind of hoping that I could find a way to talk to someone without having to go into the mental ward (or even necessarily be admitted into the hospital and be put on a bunch of meds that also make the situation worse than it already is). You know what I mean? But, hey, thanks for the advice. I definitely appreciate your help (and advice).
+Shadow Delivery I called the hotline and they called 911 since I had overdosed on my meds. I was too nervous to call myself.
David- I know I'm very late on this and I hope you're doing much better now! Try talking to a friend, if you have one, that's encouraging and positive by nature. Just unload and if it's a situation that's making you feel suicidal then work on changing the situation somehow. I like to try to pinpoint what might be the issue. Even if you can't solve why you feel this way, it helps to know WHY you feel this way.
David8024667 maybe try the Stigma app and find people to talk to on there
I have these thoughts everyday.
me too keep fighting thou!
WOW! I’m so glad someone talked about their parent not consenting to in-patient therapy. I had an eating disorder that started at 13 (exercise bulimia) and got so much worse by 16 to the point where there was no going around it, and I was desperate for help. I voiced it to my mom (my only “parent”), and she said, “oh, you just need to quit doing that.” I had bulimia, binge-eat SO BAD and I was on diet pills... completely debilitating and embarrassing, nonetheless. Affected my extremities(discoloration)/energy. My mom was not helpful and I reached out for help at a treatment center. I had to bring my mom with me, and she then TURNED INTO THE VICTIM and tried to come up with a story of why I was just a moody teenager. My GOD!! I lost hope in her ever being a mother to me completely. I’m 20 now, and I WISH I could’ve had that HELP at 16! I swear, if your child wants inpatient therapy, give them that RIGHT to do so.
Most nights I don't care much whether I wake up the next day if it feels like it's just going to be another day like today was. No interest, purpose, motivation, etc.
the fear things are never going to get better!
Trapped with a narcissist has driven me to attempt 5 times now, the last time I almost succeeded. I actually died and was brought back to spend 4 days alone in ICU without even a phone call from husband or grown children ☹️ this made me more suicidal and I fight it...so I cut even more!
because of my age i feel that i can't tell my therapist anything out of fear that she'll tell my parents. what should i do?
+Autumn Keech Criss Hey, I was scared of this too. I was 14 at the time. Your therapist can only break confidentiality if you are in immediate danger or someone else is. You could tell your therapist that you struggle with suicide thoughts but if you say you have a plan and that you intend to carry out your plan when you get home for example, then your therapist has to act. If your are in this much pain then please tell. Take care
thank you EleanorRealOne
I wish someone had been there for me. I'm 26 now and had to wait till I was 18 to get the help I needed. Nobody really understood how bad it was and I didn't share as I thought they would think less of me for struggling. Take care and best of luck with everything.
they wont tell anybody without your permission
I don’t want to kill my self but I don’t want to live
Same
same here
same here i hate this world system!
Today, I had a really bad panic attack and the nurse called for the counsellor. She (counsellor) saw my scars and stuff and she said that cutting is a sin and if I ever do it again, she would report me :( I hate it here. People won't take me seriously and they don't try to understand. I asked my parents if I could get some help, they said no bc it was just a phase blah blah blah. Help.
I know this is so late, I hope you're doing ok Danie, you deserve so much more than that
danie ramos I hope your doing well!!💗
hang in there Danie were all struggling!
Today I almost broke down in tears just because my leg was itching. It was very irritating, lotion and scratching wouldn't stop it.
But seriously, wtf? First that's no reason to even get stressed. And second I had a perfectly fine day.
So yeah, I do that a lot. Remote won't work, get unreasonably angry over it. But something really stressful happens and I'm just like, nothing. Deal with it and move on.
But I better not stub my toe or all hell will break out.
1. I'm grateful I found your channel. 2. I'm grateful I told my Mum about my a Self Harm yesterday (so much relief now) 3. I'm grateful for being healthy, and strong.
Me I'm thankful I found this channel
Im also glad I found this channel, and I just came out to my mom about my anxiety and I'm SO relived :D
thank you katie for making these videos!!! its nice to have someone who understands!
I am a very heavily guarded person and over the years have perfected the mask that I wear in the outside world. The difficulty is that it is so well constructed and such a natural part of me that I can't tell a lot of the time when I am experiencing real emotion or if I am just a projection of whoever i'm talking to. It makes it especially difficult to connect with my therapist because I can't tell if I am being honest about what I feel or if I am just telling her what I thinks she wants to here from me. Any help on how to overcome this?
Omg me too, is this with just your therapist or others as well? Mine is abusive judgmental mother, now I trust noone and am always in self preservation(or self-centered) mode, but for existence sake I don the "I know what I'm doing" face and get up everyday. Anyway, more towards your comment, if we are able to assimilate and adapt our own behavior to different social interactions, then what is the 'real' me/you? Does that make sense?
I feel the same way :(
I have never heard someone else that felt like this! I have built a mask since i was 6 and now I literally find myself laughing and realising that I don't even find it funny it's just by body reacting to the outside world to hide me.
I will cry over small things (small to other people, anyways) and sometimes, depending on how much it upset me, I will consider myself worthless and want to die. It used to be worse, but now it is less often and whenever I think that I argue with myself over it, arguing that what I’m feeling is an overreaction. I am not tired and I am able to enjoy myself. Am I depressed? Is this suicidal behavior? And should I be seeing a therapist? Note: it’s been harder to argue with myself because I thought I was getting better than I was.
I regularly plan out my suicide in detail. I would have to reach out for help nonstop, probably no one could take that serious anymore.
Philine Schlegel I know how you feel. ❤ You should keep trying until you find someone. I guarantee that there's someone out there who's willing to stay by you until you feel better!
I want to go and get help. But my anxiety gets in the way of building the courage to go get the therapy and counseling, even talking to my own mother because she never takes these things seriously is terrifying. She always gets angry or upset, never understands, and because of that I don't tell her anything. At this point, I would rather walk into a mental institution and check myself in, without my parents, than even continue trying to get help. I'm just over it now.
Thank you for all your videos. During some very bleak times, they have been a light of guidance and assurance. May God richly bless you with happiness and more importantly, contentment.
My suicidal thoughts are what push me to seek out a therapist. I'm scared of myself cause I've thought and written how, when and where will it be (suicide). They have been constant and plaguing me. I have depression for years and every relapse is getting stronger. I have talk to a therapist once and have no cousrage to tell my parents.
tgntcrnr same :/ mine will never understand. I will never open up to mine they’re just too judge mental to talk to.
don't be afraid talk to your parents!
I'm greatful for your videos and the support they give me!
i live in finland and i have trouble taken seriously. i told my psychiatrist that i am extremely suicidal and she just said to take my medication and go back to school
alisaboom i really hope you’re doing alright and some day hopefully you can find someone that’ll take you seriously
I’m talking to friends, a therapist, journaling and crying but I still can’t stop having these thoughts
All your information is very helpful and have assisted me in figuring out why I am the way I am. but this particular video had a lot of personality in it and that in itself helped me. thank you.
You are a blessing in my life thank you
I love these videos.these are so helpful.great advice
Ive had a sudden crying spell before, maybe two. Theyre actually pretty normal in certain situations. Most recently it happened when I had moved out of my parents house. In the afternoon I got on a plane, flew across the country, they lost my bags, i went to my place, met my room mate, went out to get some food, etc.
Then it was late, I was tired and went to bed. Turned on my gameboy advance to play before I slept, and just broke down crying.
It didnt last for long, and I'm not ashamed of it. It was a hugely stressful day, with everything stopping me from really having time to stop and think about it all. First chance I got, I crashed.
I just wanted to share this to show that even in situations where nothing is going really wrong (I knew I'd get my stuff back eventually, wasnt a big deal.) you can still have this happen just from being overwhelmed.
Awwww. I hope you're fine now and you got your stuff back too. :)
Thank you
even when you have a plan and you are so lost and feel sincerely like dying and you bring yourself to a hospital they don't take you seriously. . They say if you were able to get here and your asking for help then your not that bad. how dose one deal with that?
I have been following you for awhile now. seriously I'm in a self destructive behavior. I'm talking lightly of what I'm actually feeling.
@katimorton i have been watching you for a long time and in the psych ward right now been here since 4/27/2024 i was detoxed and transfered to the psych ward for ideations and suicide attempt i hid a plastic butter knife off my lunch trey while detoxing and sharpend it on the metal edge of my bed side table and cut open my wrists and arm and was on suicide watch for 9 days then transfered to the psych ward i can honestly tell you that you have saved my life your vidos are life saving thank you for doing all you do
So, everyday of my life I am in such a depressed mood. I do self harm And some days I don’t even want to live anymore. Please help me!😢
I'M IN THE SAME boat hang in there we'll get better!
Hey I was born with a brain injury and depression. I have had a head tic since I was 2 years old. I was suicidal the other day. I’m glad now that I didn’t succeed. For the first time I can see a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Thanks again.
Do u take any cbd or thc for the tics?
Oh. So it's normal to talk back to my bad thoughts. Fought i was going crazy
ur the freakin best honestly life changing info
Had to cancel my therapy session today so this is a good alternative!
Thanks Katie
Kati being hypothetically grateful for a parking spot “right up front” is awesome. I call parking spots “right up front” *_”Rock Star Parking“_* and parking _near_ the front *_”Punk-Rock Star Parking”_* .
Thanks for making me laugh. Things have been difficult for a while and it felt good.
i journal a lot. i just haven't been myself lately. been going through a lot lately. it makes me feel better when i write it down all my feelings. when i get the urge to cut i grab a marker or pen and i draw or write on myself.
You’re great kate thanks
What a fantastic lady!!!
I have been voluntarily in patient before because of suicidal ideation. I had intrusive thoughts to do harm. I got the help i needed. The assessment was easier to do than I thought.
i've had some real bad thoughts myself i know its the depression lying to me!
your videos are very helpful
I’m just to tired at this moment. I have been listening to this kind of videos and this is bust so overwhelming 😊😊
Thank you
Depending on what school you go too,you can get counselling there where you can take your time in explaining what is wrong. They also help you talk to your family.
thank you kati... for this video.
She seems like a really nice person, I can't get therapy but if I could I'd love her to be my therapist
I'm in the UK and have never had problems finding a counsellor, the problem is the free/cheap ones have really long waiting lists, which tends to be a problem when you feel really bad NOW.
When suicidal, what does going to the hospital actually do and help with? Do they have magic medicine we don't? And if so, can I get some out here? Seems like it is just going to cause more problems.
The way you talk and your mannerisms and how you say "Okay?" reminds me of someone I know so much, but I can't place it and I keep trying to think of who you remind me of and I can't figure it out!! 😂 Anyone else have someone she reminds them of?
I figured it out. 😝
How many times a week/day is it normal for someone to cry. In 12 and I cry about 2 times a day sometimes 3 times and sometimes for hours on end. I feel like a failure. I can't scream because I can't bring myself to do it I get too anxious or get a therapist because no one knows which means I also can't tell my friends because they might hate me like everyone at my school hates me
I am also high functioning, never a problem excelling at work. But I have fought major depression or depression not otherwise specified with SI for 21 months. As Kati said, professionals have always taken my SI seriously. When I say I am planning to do it, or I have a method and was ready to execute it, I get the help I needed. Today, I have a go to med I use to keep SI at bay. I use a very low level for maintenance, but if I were triggered, I would be able to take a little more and be okay the next day. But I promised to check in to a hospital where my psychiatrist practices if I am overwhelmed. And I had to do that once. So, that is my plan of last resort, go back there and get safe and get help.
I'm in the UK and have had trouble being taken seriously, too. Some professionals aren't very good, and you may have to fight to get treatment... Like, go to another GP, or I saw a mental health advisor (at university) who then wrote a note to my GP. Again, some therapists can be unhelpful. Persevere. I've have a couple of horror stories, but I'm seeing a very good ED specialist now. I spoke to her the other day about my feelings of being a "fake" and not "ill enough", and she was really great about it. She said that they wouldn't have offered me appointments if they thought it wasn't serious. So, yeah, keep going with seeking treatment. There are good doctors and therapists out there.
I love this channel. I am about to graduate with my MSW. Would you ever do a channel specifically for therapists?
I'm passively suicidal. I dont have plans, but I think about it every day. Not like those quick thoughts either. Like, just... the idea of it. Would it make me feel better? Would people really miss me? Stuff like that. And sometimes I think about how I would do it, I guess.
I hear about people going to the hospital and getting better there. I want help like that. All I have right now is medication and my family, sitting there thinking everything is alright. I've told my mom, and she said she was going to tell my psychiatrist when we saw him next, but she didn't, and I didn't remind her. I still haven't. I think they dont get it. I feel like just telling them again won't help. For all the courage it'll take, it's not worth it. Actions speak louder than words.
I'm 13, and if I was an adult, I'd just go check myself into the hospital. I just want to feel better. And I don't want to try and convince them to take me. They won't. They won't understand. They're really good parents, but they've never dealt with these thoughts. They won't get it. How bad it is. What I have in mind to fix it.
Am I sick enough yet? Or do I have to be actively suicidal?
I love your videos they are always so helpful and give me something to look forward to :) hahaha I finally figured out that its a key holder on your wall, for the longest time I thought it was a gun hanging on the wall lol.
I was in a well being group where i learned strategies to cope with anxiety, and one i found useful for separating yourself from your anxiety was by closing your eyes thinking of a shape to give your anxiety and see it as a horrible monster sitting in your shoulder and you should name it also take time to name it and that gives you the first strength in knowing you gave it its name its shape and separated it from being part of you to just an annoying thing who will try everything to get you worked up because it wants you to feed it and it grows wen being fed anxiety so it takes practise but it works wen you feel your getting to that point remember it this monster who wants to grow and tell it no your not getting anything from me today its a good way to gain the feeling of being in charge plus it help remind you that anxiety is present with you but its not a part of who you are . The more you feed it the more it grows
Beth Simm thank you
My depression is much deeper than your typical standard depression. It's accompanied by a powerful wave of emotions and grief.
Katie, I'm scared. I've only had a suicidal thought/feeling once a couple years ago, until now. Now this past week on Wednesday and Thursday night as I was laying in bed to go to sleep "kill myself" kept popping up in my brain. I have no feeling that I want to do this, yet it kept repeating. I don't understand why. I told my husband about it, and I'm trying to get an appointment with my therapist. I work and have a lot of appointments for my baby, so I feel like I don't have time to get to therapy, yet I know I need to. I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist April 10th. My worry is, will these thoughts end up making me do something I don't want to do? Does happen to people? Can people get to a point where they feel like they're not in control? It worries me.
Thank you for your help.
Hey Kristen13, how are you today? It sounds that you might be suffering with Harm OCD/Suicidal OCD. I truly am sorry that you're going through that..sounds really hard. I hope you will find a great therapist that will help you with this.
as she said about granting it helps me a lot by writing it down then burning that paper.one reason why this helps me is that no one else can read it if you aren't telling anyone
I have experience with health care systems in the Netherlands and Hungary.
Netherlands: my maths teacher sent me to the counsellor at school because she noticed I was feeling down. My counsellor asked me about my issues and at first I refused to speak but then eventually I told her about my family, eating and mood issues. She asked me whether I thought of suicide and when I said yes she called in my parents the same day (it was a Friday afternoon/evening). My parents said there was't a need but she told them there was and wrote an urgent request to my doctor to refer me to a psychologist. I got help in a matter of weeks, it was al covered by insurance.
Hungary: my form tutor noticed scars on my arm and discussed that with me, then convinced me to see the school counsellor (note: this is a private school, I don't think Hungarian state schools have a counsellor). She wasn't particularly helpful but really nice, and she basically convinced me to reach out to further help. My form tutor helped me by writing my stepmom a email, asking her to assist in finding an english speaking psychiatrist. She did, and I got help. This psychiatrist is private (so not covered by insurance. Cost is 12000 HUF/hour. I do have Hungarian insurance for the medication she prescribes, and those are really cheap, maybe 1000 HUF/month)
So basically I got help in the Netherlands and Hungary, despite the fact that I am a straight-A student
I don't have a therapist because I don't have insurance and I was denied for state insurance my problem's with my manic depression, bpd, anxiety, ptsd, ocd is getting worse I cry all the time I lash out in anger crying is suposed to make you feel better but after I cry I feel so much worse. :(
We all have bad days... push through and things will get better...
I'm from the UK and I attempted suicide a couple of months ago, thinking that even if I didn't die, I would finally be taken seriously but nothing's changed. In hospital no one really spoke to me and I was just made to feel bad for the way I was feeling and to be honest I felt extremely alienated. I attempted on a Friday and I was back at school the following Monday, where my guidance teacher spoke to me extremely quickly as she is always in a hurry and never has time for a proper conversation. My favourite teacher was also told and all I felt was that she didn't care, and I feel she still doesn't. I was referred onto cahms which is a child's mental health service in the uk, and they were no help at all. The woman who came and spoke to me accepted everything I said, just the same as everyone else, which I was slightly surprised about. I'd thought that someone who had attempted suicide 3 days ago wouldn't be taken seriously when I said I was fine and had nothing to talk about?
I met with the woman 4 times before she declared me 'better' and that was the end of it. Everyone was getting fed up with me so I had to continue with my act of being fine. 3 months down the line, I continually think about suicide except when I'm having good times. I'm either extremely happy or I'm numb. Not numb like I can't feel anything, more numb like I can feel but it doesn't affect me if that makes sense? One of my best friends also has suicidal thoughts and has never opened up to someone before and then last months had a late night conversation where we told each other how we feel and we told each other our dates. When I'm on normal days I can admit that somethings wrong but she never can. I once asked her if she would ever go and see a doctor and she told me she had nothing to go and see a doctor about. I know she does, as do I, and her date is before mine. I feel like I have no options whatsoever, I've done everything I possibly can to help myself.
I feel like I'm just surviving until my date which is, thankfully, soon. My only worry is that I'm on an up when my date comes. I don't even know if I want to die, I think I just want it all to stop. I want to be normal but at the same time, without this, what do I have left? I just really really want people to care and they don't and I can't deal with that. I forgot to mention before but I'm 15 and have felt this way since I was 10.
I'm from England to and regards to the first question I visited my GP and they done nothing it wasn't until I went to A&E that things got sorted out by the mental health services and got to see a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist, hope that helps in any way :)
I live in the UK. I guess I am also high functioning, and I struggled with some issues for a almost a year on my own. I ended up in A&E after an attempt on my life and that's when I got referred to CAMHS (since I was underage).
I guess I was lucky that they took me seriously and they were able to see me within a few weeks. I then had a consultation meeting and started seeing someone the week after.
The first person I started seeing was rather unhelpful, and I felt threatened into recovering.
The second person who I started seeing a year later was so much more helpful.
in the UK, they do look for functioning signs as I was talking to someone from a charitable organisation, I described in detail a suicide plan and because I didn't cut myself and could still function in daily life. that was four months ago and I have another three months before I even get an evaluation.
I see a therapist and a councilor the first day I seen her I told her I'll be honest with you if you will be honest with me I don't want you to sugar coat shit . Just tell me what it is . She said I sure can and I love her. She brutal I live it . I call her when I am in a bad place and she tells me how it is . She's a blessing
I'm in the UK and recently had my eating disorder assessmentI got my asesement and being referrd o a eating disorder clinic who then set up the assessment (I hope this helps as I was very nervous and had no idea what was going to happen)..........at the start it was very formal and factual as they initially asked about information to do with jobs, finance and school we also had to fill out some paperwork and sign a few things. I don't remember everything but he asked about my symptoms so e.g. binging/purging/ restricting and asked about any health issues i'd experienced. we spoke a lot about my diet habits and the frequency of the binge purging and about when the eating disorder started and how it starts.he then asked about self-harm and alcohol or drug misuse and then moved on to ask about the situation at home and asked about all of my relationships a home. towards the very end I filled out a motivation scale where I placed my self a scale of 1-10 for topics such as 'how motivated are you to recover?' and 'how likely do you think your are to recover? finally at the end of the session they allow you to invite a parent/guardian/or friend to come in but you can refuse and ask about their main concerns at home and ways to move forward as a family. we then spoke about the kind of treatment I will receive. the session is around 2 hours typically but mine was a bit longer. I hope that this helps you understand the structure of the assessments and you can get treatment xxx
I liked your poker chip analogy! I was thinking about because I was taught the same thing with spoons. If anyone doesn’t know what spoon theory is, basically you wake up with a certain amount of kitchen utensils. You might start with, idk, 5 straws, 2 forks, but for some reason you don’t have a spoon that day. You can eat your breakfast cereal with a fork, but it’s hard with a straw because you can only drink the milk. You have energy to drive to school or work, but not to do the work. I really like these types of analogies because they help to explain why sometimes we just don’t have the capacity to do something at specific times, especially to people who have a smaller or different understanding about what you’re feeling.
I would love to see you make a video about Bipolar disorder
The time where I was the best in the class was actually the time where I was struggling the most (eating disorder) I was that good because I was obsessed with being perfect.
I live in Greece and my therapist didn't ask me any of that we just talk about all the symptoms ( anxiety ) and past experiences or disorders that might have lead to that. I do go to school ( IB ) but that doesn't mean that I'm not struggling so you're not being judged
How do you be honest with people when all they say is that it’s in my head. Like obviously, thank for shutting me down the minute I reach out....and you wonder why I never talk ....
the way I vent is watching u an sometime turning the volume up really high
I've made it up to the point where I thought about how I would end it, but it wasn't a plan I would go by exactly, even though I told myself as soon as I felt I needed to I would end myself, these thoughts still occurs everyday, there's a lot behind it and personally I feel like I'm just broken. Is it normal for a fourteen year old like me to have these thoughts everyday. I just feel like randomly crying out of nowhere and then I think to myself if I killed myself who would actually care, and then I think... no oneI just want to know if this is out of the ordinaryPlz can anyone just give me an answer? It would be much appreciated
Are you still like this 2 yrs later? No harm intended
I am 14 too and I feel the same.
Gosh this comment is old how are you now? Any advice for me?
Cassidy Franklin same here bro
Recently I took a step in the direction of ending my life. I was thwarted in this step by the laws of my state. I know have to figure out which direction I will moving towards, life or not life. I am trying different med combinations with the help of my Doctor. The thoughts are still here everyday.
can i ask how old you are!
When I was in the hospital, we had a violent patient who lashed out and punched one of the male nurses and a security guard. All of the patients in our ward were under lock-down while they got him under control and I was so scared that I practically holed up in my room to cry because I was so upset from it. Like I actually went into fight or flight mode and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack because it was so scary.
I love the poker chips metaphor. I just know I can only do so much everyday and therapist agreed, I have to make such small goals compared to mentally health well it's so disappointing why can't I do more. I wish I could express this more. I just can't even literally lift one foot in front of other.
*yay for updates
Europe - DID, Depression and Anti-Stress pills for extreme paranoia diagnosis.
My diagnosis took years and were really stressing. I began showing signs as a child (what people told me, I only have flashbacks and they terrify me). Then, when we have moved a country I began to hallucinate all over again and lose memory. My hallucinations appeared as a huge black animal covered in blood. It was either standing by my bed while staring at me, or following me when I was outside. It lasted for 3 years without any treatment when I reached towards suicidal thoughts, self-harm, aggression towards most people around me and insomnia due to fear.
Fucked up, but only then my mother finally realized that what I was going through was really serious.
At first I was undiagnosed, and they gave sleeping pills and sent me back home. We came back two months later after school counselor got really worried. This time psychiatrist diagnosed me with schizophrenia. Me and my mother later decided to change the doctor, and that’s when I had been given medication (Atarax and Zoloft), psychotherapy and diagnosis of DID, Depression and etc. I am now getting help but sometimes it does not feel like enough.
But it is very important to be honest with your doctor and I know that its hard. Remember that they want to help you, they will base your diagnosis on your answers same as treatment. But also make sure that you like your doctor and that they know what they are doing. Good luck:)
Kati, I have had suicidal thoughts for about 2 years. However I never make a plan, I barely look up ways to do it, because I am afraid that that will get me closer to it and set my mind more focussed on it. Now that I am not planning I feel 'sober' and can convince myself not to do it because I do not want to hurt my loved ones. I recently reached out to a therapist but now I feel like I shouldn't have. Have I made a mistake?
I can FINALLY comment on your videos again!! Yay for I
ive been wanting to jump off of a tall building yet not get hurt or die if that makes sense and every time i feel sad after i just feel pathetic about it. and i dont know if i should tell my parents or not, i need some help on it
Sad songs will reduce and prevent suicidal thoughts. For example; play “if I See you again” and think about committing suicide
I'm high functioning and feeling overwhelmed. I'm a combat veteran and I am being treated for depression. I normally I feel a general "when is life over". Not sure if this fall into "passive sudicie thoughts". I don't have a plan to take my life. I just want life to hurry up and be over. I use work, household shores, reading, and studying about natural hair routines as a distraction. But today I feel my depression and anxiety is trying to out smart be like "lol you think you can out smart me with healthy distraction". I'm not on meds cause I don't like the side effects recently prozac now makes me more tired and gives me diarrhea. So stopped taking it. I looked into natural remedies at Whole Foods. I started listening to meditation high vibration music while I sleep. I noticed it helped. I'm tired and exhausted all the time but since I'm high functioning I masked depression and anxiety with work and doing my hair and cooking. These are all healthy and helpful. I just don't think it's enough. I'm tired of being the strong person the bigger person, always strategizing, problem solving always dealing life, managing myself, dealing with others. I always want to be left alone with my thoughts, trying to sort out how not to act how I feel but act reasonable. If anyone reading this can make sense of this. Please help. I'm gonna reach out to my local VA tomorrow thanks for listening/reading. Look for to read your response. Thanks
Why is it harder to get help in Europe or the UK? Or help in a treatment center?
Once my dog ate my lasagna and I cried for like 3 hours and screamed until my head hurt and I couldn't feel anything.
No one takes me seriously, unless I self harm, and even then, I just get discharged, turned away and told "you're too well" WHAT? How? How do I prove that I'm not ok?
I hate to say it but my experience in the UK is pretty bad. When I was 16 in CAMHS it was quick and efficient, cause your under 18 they are considered responsible so they are not bad depending in the area you live, they will at least give you counselling. Since I turned 18 the adult service is crap, I went strait from day patient unit to one appointment a month, then I lost a load of weight in a month (had bowel op that almost killed me, literally) but when I next went in they weighed me and said you are not trying go. I was trying my best (had a colostomy bag forgodsake) but they said they either wanted me full inpatient or nothing to do with me (no dietician, therapist, family counselor) as my medical health risks due to all the ops ect were high they didnt want to see me and have me die, so it was better to have complete control where they could tube me or no contact at all. They still refuse to help me even though I have asked over a year later as I am struggling. And I'm someone who wants to get better but can't. It's disappointing. My point is you are under 18 so get help now while your still in CAMHS as they will help you. Please do this to help the rest of your life xxxxxx
Gemma Brown I know right! UK really is the worst I've seen for mental health care. I'm literally on the verge of schizophrenic and all that has been done to treat me is some talking therapy with volunteers.
I haven't had a personal experience, but my friend was on a waiting list for counselling for 6 months and then they let her go because she couldn't make it to 3 of her appointments, but it wasn't like she just decided not to turn up - one time she was too physically ill, another time she had no way of getting there and the final time she had an autism screening that she'd been waiting for for ages. I mean I understand that there is a long waiting list so they have to make sure that everyone in counselling isn't just wasting the staff's time, but surely her reasons for missing those appointments are valid?
It just makes me mad, mental health care really needs to be improved here.
too late im already 18
In India metal health problems are no taken seriously at all..