Tips for Handling Dungeon Master Burnout
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
- MONSTERS OF DRAKKENHEIM is 300+ pages of eldritch horror inspired monsters for 5e by the Dungeon Dudes! Coming to Kickstarter March 26th, 2024: www.kickstarte... We go over our recommendations for dealing with DM burnout. If you have any tips or resources, please share them in the comments!
The recommendations in this video are not a replacement for seeking aid and care for your mental health. If you, or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, please find resources below for help, or talk to a professional.
National Alliance on Mental Illness: Nami.org
National Institute of Mental Health: Nimh.nih.gov
BetterHelp.com
TIME STAMPS
2:43 - Signs of Burnout
5:02 - Resetting Expectations
12:17 - Sharing Responsibilities
16:37 - Take a Break
20:55 - Rotating DM
23:36 - Try Something New
33:40 - Protect Your Mental Health
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One thing our D&D group once did when I cancelled the session was not only to try something different that night, but to get out of the game room. We ended up going to a diner/bowling alley/arcade just to get up and move a little while still hanging out as a group. It was a lot of fun and a perfect break for me as the DM.
Matt Colville talks about this in a lot of his videos. Sometimes, the best thing to do as a DM is to not DM for a bit.
@@Lays-But-Not-The-Chips Sometimes we tried a new TTRPG (I introduced the group to Monster of The Week) and other times we did board games and even axe throwing. Helped tonnes!
rpg player discovers having friends, circa 2022
well from the group i dm 2 of them i meet 2-3 days a week and we speak through viber with everyone almost daily.
as a psychologist who dms all the time and loves it, this was a fantastic video
Hey! Shout out to my fellow co-diagnosing nerd. I agree that the dudes introduced virtually all of the best approaches to getting burnout on a passion. My dming is how I destress and my players are an amazing support system and hype crew. Themes of mental health are a mainstay of our roleplay.
Building relationships around healthier expectations and flexible boundaries, with a good dose of self compassion is always a win!
@@aaronwilliams8887 Co-diagnosing nerd is now my favorite term, i literally play with collegues and its amazing haha
My take on the biggest thing that causes DM Burnout is just a lack of player interaction/interest. Often burned out DMs have a hard time accepting that they want to stop b/c they have so much excitement for the hobby and ideas they want to run. But it just feels like you are wasting your time when you spend so much time working on characters, puzzles, quests, worldbuilding, encounters l, etc. when your players get frustrated, don’t care, or don’t want to engage. And when those things go down the drain so does all the time you spent on them because your work on DnD doesn’t transfer to other things, if it didn’t elicit a fun and memorable session, you spent all that time reading, writing, and prepping instead of working out, going out, or playing games for nothing.
I don’t have a solution for this other than talking to players and taking a break.
And for players reading this, please try to engage with and have fun with your DM’s session. It makes all those hours worth it.
Hot take but just like players need to learn to manage expectations of the DM and the game they run, so too is the same true for the DM with respect to their players. It's important for the DM to understand that all the players at the table may be there for different reasons. You've got the roleplayer who may as well go act in a local theater troupe, but pays no attention to combat or exploration; then you've got the power gamer who cares little for the social pillar, but sinks their teeth into the combat encounters you generate; then you have the puzzle master who shies away from social stuff; then you've got the one friend that just wants to hang with the group and is along for the ride. The perfect player is all of those things at once. But the perfect player does not exist. And expecting perfection is a fool's folly. Perfect is the enemy of the good.
The DM expecting everyone to give due attention to the game is reasonable. Respond to scheduling inquiries, show up, engage with what they find fun. But a DM that expects their players to be as aggressively interested in all the worldbuilding and work that that the DM puts into a game is setting themselves up for bad feels. The players are self interested in their characters, and unique in what they find fun in a game. As a DM, you need to set your expectations and understand what your players get out of the game. Cater your prep and your expectations towards that.
The key thing is that if you're gonna spend ten hours a week on worldbuilding your campaign, do it because it's fun for you. Do not do it with an expectation that your players will ask you to lore dump on them for 30 minutes at the table. If you're going to generate a bunch of side quests and secrets to pepper throughout your world, don't expect your players to go hunting for them. Throw them at their feet, and be ready to go along with whatever they latch on to. If they're directionless, give them direction, and don't be subtle about it.
@@BrickInTheHead I agree with many of your points but I disagree with your conclusion.
If you care deeply about world-building, you want your players to care about your world-building, but your players don’t, then it’s time to take the advice from this video and have a “session re-zero” to reset expectations.
Yes, no player is perfect. But sometimes all it takes is for the players to *know* that the GM put a lot of time into world-building and would appreciate it when players cared about it more. Set that expectation.
If you have that conversation and the players still don’t care about your world-building, then perhaps it’s time to get better players - because these people are simply just being selfish.
Everyone must bring something to the table - for players, that something is *interest* in what the GM has prepared. If you are not interested in engaging with what the GM has prepared, then perhaps the game isn’t for you.
So no, I disagree with your conclusion. Instead of the GM lowering their expectations, sometimes all it takes is for the GM to make their expectations clear - and the onus is on the players to meet them.
Advising GMs to lower their expectations and hence have less fun GMing is a surefire way to create burnout. GMing should be fun for the GM.
My personal method of alleviating burnout and ensuring my players keep being engaged is to have regular “session re-zeros” after the end of every session.
I use a structured feedback system: Roses, Thorns & Buds. Roses for what they liked about the session, Thorns for what they disliked about the session, and Buds for what they would like to see in the next session.
This feedback structure applies for all players and the GM. Players can give feedback to other players or to the GM, and the GM can also give feedback on how the players performed.
This structure helps to regularly reset expectations across the entire table, and you get to learn what each individual player enjoys and are engaged in, and hence cater your subsequent sessions to their interest. If a player (or the GM) is not performing up to your standards, this structure also provides an opportunity to give them constructive feedback and help them grow to be better players / GMs in the future.
By doing these regular reviews, one should be able to identify immediately why a player is not engaged with your session, and you have a platform to communicate as adults how to fix this issue together.
@@BrickInTheHead Yup! Absolutely agree with everything you’ve said here. Matt Colville’s video on the topic which you’ve referenced here is a good one to watch, and definitely it helps a LOT if you’ve been a player yourself and know what it feels like to be on the other side of the screen.
Still, I stand by my opinion that it takes two hands to clap. It’s very worth opening a line of dialogue with your players, like the end-of-session reviews I mentioned, to get a sense of why they’re not engaging with the worldbuilding you’ve prepped.
Truly, sometimes the simple reason why players don’t seek out your worldbuilding is because they don’t know you’ve prepared it and are afraid / don’t know that they can ask.
I will give a personal anecdote. When I first started GMing, I was subconsciously discourage my players to ask me questions about worldbuilding because I never had NPC names prepared and made a show of bullshitting out a random name in front of my players. This signaled to my players that I didn’t prepare all that well for my game and so they learned not to ask questions and just “go with the flow”.
Years later, as I learned to be a better GM and learned how to prepare my sessions better, I was troubled and wondered why my players didn’t care to engage with all the new effort that I spent preparing. I thought they weren’t engaged with the world and didn’t care about the game and that was severely demotivating and contributed massively to my own GM burnout.
But it turns out, I was wrong. My players just unintentionally learned not to ask questions. I fixed the situation by opening the floor and pestering my players to start asking me questions and break out of their old habits. This also works for new players when they don’t *know* that they can ask questions and poke about into the GM’s worldbuilding.
Just as one can learn how to become a better GM, there are also lessons to be learned for being a better player. One of these lessons is to be engaged with the world, treating the fiction as a real, physical, internally consistent place, and be curious about this world that they’re playing in. There are good GMs and bad GMs. There are good players and bad players. One can learn how to become a good player.
So that’s the crux behind my advice. It takes two hands to clap. The GM needs to make their worldbuilding engaging to the players and likewise the players need to actually make an active effort to engage with that. Many players just simply don’t know how to unless they’re taught.
Cheers mate! It’s been nice conversing with you :)
I feel this.
Most of my players are very flakey and we'll inattentive. Most don't care about story or plot or social interactions and only really care about fights. That'd mostly be fine, if they didn't randomly cancel *minutes* before the session cause they had to do laundry or some other lame excuse. This often leads to combat being even harder for the people who do show up. If I had time to rework the combat again it wouldn't be that big a deal, but giving me basically no notice before the session that you can't make it really irks me, and yes I have talked to them about it.
My last session before I took my break from DMing was supposed to be a fun spooky haunted house with ties to the character's back stories and 3/5 didnt show up, told me mere hours beforehand they couldn't make it.
Luckily, I threw together some generic encounters to replace the ones I specifically designed for them and did the mansion with just the 2 good players. They had a blast and told me the session was the funniest they had in awhile.
So, I think if/when I get back to DMing I'm just gonna have these two as my players and the other like 8 people can shove off. That Halloween session just proved to me they don't care about D&D that much and I think they just use it as an excuse to maybe hang out when they feel like it.
I'm hopeful that once I get back into the driver's seat with just these two players (who consistently show up, engage with the sessions, notify me way ahead of time when they can't make it), I'll enjoy DMing again!
I just have to say that you guys are so fantastic about taking turns and not interrupting each other. There are other channels I watch where they don't give each other the same courtesy...
I got to imagine these dudes write and block up almost all of their script so every video is crisp and courteous.
I'd be skeptical about D&D advice from a channel that had problems like that. One of the best DM skills is just listening to other people.
of course they dont talk over eachother, they literally wrote the script??
@@knopfir You can still tell there are moments where one thinks of something they want to say and they almost start to talk, but they hold their tongue.
As a DM, using a module , not as a story , but purely for mechanics and exploration sites, has been amazing for my current campaign. I can lean back on the rule set while getting creative with overarching story, characters, etc. PS I am using Drakkenheim…
Good advice! It works great the other way as well: just taking the premise of the story and the setting and making up all the encounters and mechanics yourself!
I think what’s important is identifying what type of preparation is fun to you personally, and you can use modules to fill in the rest.
One thing I noticed when I was playing EVE online, people who lead random stuff going on (like hunting a ship) were called called Fleet Commanders (FC), and always in voice or text chat, everyone would say "Thanks FC".
As long as your session wasn't 'bad', always say "Thanks DM" after your sessions. It's the min-maxing of emotional support
The hardest pill for me to swallow as a DM is that my players will always remember the wild situations their characters caused and the story THEY created more than any of the story or world building I meticulously wrote. Strangely, the sessions I put the least amount of planning in are the sessions they love the most. I only realized this as I started getting burned out and planning less and less. At first it was disheartening, thinking of all my "wasted" time in the pass or the considering the futility of crafting an epic story in the future. But eventually I realized this is a win/win. I create a world/story in black and white, the basic layout I want, and give them the reigns to color it how they like.
Ok you gents are doing just the best things. I have loved all the vids but then you pull out the . “ hey if shit is really bad please reach out and here is a list” damn guys. I don’t comment much but wanted to say thank you for that. it blow me away. You made a 46 yrs old dude from CT US cry in thanks. Much love too you both and Al the people in your lives. One more time just thanks for doing this stuff and for being true gents in the way gentlemen should be. Respect and empathy… every vid has shown that you truly possess each. 😢😂❤😊
What I've found when taking breaks due to burnout is that I never feel quite ready to come back, until I actually do. I've found it's important for me to set a reprisal time the moment I decide to take a break, to "force" myself to actually start DMing again.
This is my issue, Im pumping the enthusiasm well to DM again and water doesnt come out
Thank you so much for putting up the the mental health PSA. I really appreciate y'all working to normalize therapy, both as a practicioner and as someone who's had their own mental health challenges.
The timing on this is perfect...we're only 8 sessions in and I'm feeling exhausted and a bit overwhelmed. You guys are the best
My main group always delves into a "Risk" night every so often. We've been playing together for 20+ years and "Risk" is still our go-to for a break. Sometimes we'll get really crazy and break out the cards and play poker. Interestingly enough, every time, no matter what game we play, the talk always turns to DnD at some point. It's a great way to just let people talk about DnD and get some really good info out. Good advice here. Thank you for covering this topic.
Been dealing with a lot of burnout in life in general and made plans to resume a DnD campaign soon, this could not have come at a better time for me personally haha. Literally burned a sick day at work today to just try and reset a bit, this has helped out a lot. Going to emphasize having more simplified fun in my prep and in playing. Hope y’all are taking care of yourself and thanks for all the wonderful, honest, fun content ❤️🐉
mental health is health, no need to feel bad for using time off to take care of it
(not sure you did of course, this is just a common sentiment and your wording made it seem that way)
@@lexistential definitely appreciate it and I totally agree. I didn’t feel bad about using it for mental health, just phrased it like that bc I always feel on edge about using them in general since there is that limited amount lol I think that’s def important to mention and highlight so thank you 🙏
Was feeling burned out. You're video helped. Thank you both. You are good people.
Go out to a group dinner, go watch a movie, go bowling, go camping together. Take time away from D&D to remember why you’re playing D&D with your friends. It can really help to remind yourself that you and your group love being around other for more than just D&D.
Unless you don't
As a father of four, who DM’s weekly. Burnout can also involve just preparing your mind to run a game for people and having to switch from dad mode to dm mode. Sometimes easier said than done.
That said these tips are really helpful and I have employed many of them.
Love you guys so much. I'm 38 years old and about to play my first dungeon dragons one shot with my girlfriend, my roommate, and his girlfriend. I made us dinner and we had our session zero last night. I can't tell you how much I have learned from the videos on your channel. Currently watching dungeons of drakkenheim episode 8 and loving the story and the way the players interact with each other. As a complete noob, I have found your content and personalities very engaging. By the way, my first character is a wizard bard multi-class. Should be interesting 🤔
I'm the DM. One of the biggest things that helps me (and my group) is this:
We play 3 weeks, and have 1 week off.
We basically decided that the last Monday of the month is our off week. So sometimes it'll be 4 weeks on, 1 week off, but its generally 3/1.
We still meet up those off weeks. We play board games usually.
Having the off week helps me destress, and it gets both my players and myself re psyched for the campaign! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that
I do this too and usually line up the two games in the same day to break at the same time. (Some people overlap so it’s easy) and then don’t be home for those skip days. Go do something, walk the dog, window shop, whatever.
Rotating DM was really good for our group, Perviously I had been running 3 sessions a week every week for effectively 4 years which also had a part of me coming back from Uni to continue games going, we now have more DM's than players, the problem we now have is everyone is willing to run and cover playing games and I don't even need to DM even if I wanted to :)
My group has 3 DMs. I've run b sides a few times, a few one shots and straight combat runs. Another dm has run one shots. It's been a good way to get some breathing room out of the somewhat grimdark campaign we're in, and gives our main dm some time off
One thing I would add is to remember you are a player. Make sure you make the game fun for you. Include monsters you want to run. Create situations where you can't wait to see how your friends deal with them. Leave room for the player to surprise you.
What I see being more common nowadays, especially for me on online play, is groups forming just for playing D&D or even just for playing a specific module. I know in my own gaming group back when we were kids, yes, we would play other systems, other games, or have a movie night together. But nowadays, if I as GM say I need a break, that always means that I won't see the group during that time. It feels like being solely responsible for not only the campaign I'm running, but for the whole group even existing. And that can be very frightening and anxiety inducing. That feeds a lot into not only GM burnout, but stress and burnout in general. Basically it means you have to either power through (making it worse) or break up the group.
This is from my personal experience. And when I took the steps described in the video (talking to the group, asking someone else to GM, asking to maybe do something else on the normal dates) and not getting any positive response from the players, that was pretty devastating. I took a break and in weeks, noone would write in the group chat, bring something up they wanted to play, nothing. So it proved true: either I run D&D or the people I really free fond of during play, would no longer be part of my life. That's pretty devastating. And was the end for the group.
To end on a positive note: that doesn't take away from any of the good time we had together. And I'm still friends with two people from the group, albeit not playing with them anymore.
What I want to say with this post is, that you can be grateful if you have a group of people to play with, who hold together, even though the name of the game changes. And finding this, is in my eyes very hard. And my groups nowadays for me feel more like a business deal, where a GM offers to run something specific for a group. Not just a social contract, but an actual one. Which is very good for a payed GM, but a whole lot of stress, if your GM is doing it for free and fun.
Thanks for the great video! I hope it helps lots of people out there. GM burnout is real and it can extend to actual burnout and loss of a lot of joy in life.
I'm the DM that gets easily distracted. If I don't have consistent sessions then the campaign eventually falls apart. My life got turned upside-down these last two months, where we were either down players when things were good, or I could not set aside the time to prep. My players are heaven-sent. They were great with the stuff we did to keep the party together in the interim. Some of the players took up the DM mantle for one-shots. I pulled out an old map and COD Zombies game mode designed around 5e. We played Jackbox Games. There's still a few weeks before things should resume to normal, but to my party, I say thank you for your understanding and helping me preemptively beat burnout.
Watching a live plays and media with a similar setting to my campaign really helps me out.
Getting a player to recap the last session is awesome.I take notes (probably too many, should watch faces more and scribble less) but hearing the player's side of things gives a lot of insight.
First, they will often remember something you forgot to jot down. Second, hearing what they found memorable helps to hone your story telling chops. Lastly, it is a good window into what they want from an adventure, probably better than just asking what they would like to see more of (or less of!).
DM on a break for a month. Still have a few more weeks before getting back into it. What was frustrating was a player who would turn up late and leave early, or not turn up at all. Another player who was a rules lawyer in a bad way and then argue. One player who is not that engaged. One is a power gamer. It was a bit frustrating.
First and foremost -THANK YOU for doing this.
This is a very real problem that has hit me more than once. I've got a once a week game that's been going on for a year and a half, and it's wrapping up soon. I'm not in the teeth of DM burnout, but I've already told the party that it will be after the new year before we jump into anything more than perhaps a one-shot or two that I'm running before then. I've told everyone that if THEY want to run something, great, but I am going to need some time to decompress.
These kind of videos are exactly why you guys are one of my favourite channels on this site. Certainly my favourite D&D channel. You take such a nuanced and balanced approach to an issue in our wonderful, silly, violent, fantasy math game. As a mental health specialist, your advice is great to follow and I always appreciate linking to resources at the end. Mental health care is not just about suicide hotlines (as important as those are). It's also about making sure you do the little things to take care of yourself and treat yourself like a person. Bang up job all in all. Cheers.
P.S. I still like to watch whoever isn't talking. You've done a great job of making it look more natural.
Something that has worked for me is to shorten the length of play sessions to no longer than three hours. My primary group meets on a week night, which naturally lends itself to a hard stop to accommodate getting to work the next day with reasonable mental facilities. This helps limit the amount of material I need to reasonably need to have prepared, thus considerably lightening my load.
Agreed! Our group has a lot of fun...for about 2 hours maybe 2.5 before interest tapers off.
My name Matt.....and I am a recovering Forever DM. Been a long road, especially with my players' storyline choices. I have fun DMing for the last 13 years, and have learned to live with the fact that of our friends, I am the creative storyteller with a house and a table that seats 8.
Playtest Amber Diceless as a kid was a huge impact. Trent's dad Roger Zelazny was one if the greatest writers most people today don't know about. Donnerjack super influenced my games.
Great and necessary video, guys. I also notice how many tips simply revolve around "Communicate honestly." 👌
I recommend reviewing your groups' Appendix N together; watch Conan or Lord of the Rings and discuss your favorite parts. Or change the scenery with a theme dinner/location. Give yourself a chance to be on the same enthusiastic level as your players. Plus they can discuss things more openly when everyone is outside of the gaming table.
My main group preemptively deals with burnout by having two games going at a time. One person DMs one campaign, and I DM the other. We trade off on which one we're running, so we still get to play weekly while also getting two weeks between each session we run. We've kept it going for two years straight now with a month off here and there where we all just hang out.
for me personally, i'd say the better route is to just do the 1 campaign for like a month at a time. Hopping between 2 campaigns every week as a player sounds exhausting and uninteresting. I would personally rather invest in 1 character and story for a long period then switch to another rather than every week playing a new one. Just my opinion!
I watch your videos for a long time as a silent spectator, but this one I have to write a comment. It's exactly what I didn't seek, but it's the video that I needed. Thank you very much.
Monty, Kelly, some real talk for a moment? This is important for way more than just D&D burnout. Mass shootings are obviously a huge problem, especially though far from uniquely south of the border. And one of the four prerequisites (they aren't an ironclad list, but they cover well over 90% of cases) to going on a rampage like that is, quite simply, not having effective coping skills when stressful situations happen (and I could talk about effects on the suicide rate and a bunch of other things as well, but let's keep focused here). Lots of people sadly have no idea what effective coping skills even look like. And so, yeah, someone is probably going to have this video as their first exposure to these ideas, and this video may well save lives down the line. So, again, this is a really important video with a lot of really good and valuable advice that goes far beyond this game and hobby. Thank you for making it.
All that super heavy stuff out of the way, I'd like to nominate Questworlds (or as it used to be called HeroQuest 2e or HeroQuest: Glorantha) as a spectacular option for any GM looking to try a new system that will expand their horizons. It's an immaculately designed system, but perhaps more than that, it's probably the best DMG I've read, giving more insight into not just how but why the system works the way it does than I've seen any other core book go into, while also being filled with tips and tricks for story pacing, generating and resolving meaningful conflicts, and general improv. It also does encounter design a little backwards from how you're probably used to, which can be a touch weird to wrap your head around, but even if you never actually use it, simply having that different perspective in the back of your head will make you a better DM. I also like it because it's one of only a few systems that elegantly handles really large gaps in power when they come up or gives (especially in the case of HQ:G) good tools for playing with mythic theme in these really particular ways that reflect the kinds of games that I personally like to run. In short, it's like FATE except simpler, easier, and faster for both players and GMs.
Our DnD group did dnd every weekend and as me as the dm, I was so tired. I was behind sleep schedule and really sucking at my school work. I needed a break and it was the best thing I did.
Love this video so much. As a forever DM running two weekly games, I definitely got burned out every now and then. But for the last year, a player from one of the groups kindly offered to run a campaign and it's been fantastic. In general I think it's important to take a week off periodically, not just for the DM but for the players too.
Something that I've done with a group as an alternative to taking a break was running a "filler" session. Everybody still got together, we had snacks, we got around the table and essentially had an anime beach episode (minus the weird fan service.) Nothing perticularly important happend, the party just had a break day of some shopping and flavor encounters.
They met up with some npcs they'd helped for a meal, solved some "cat in the tree" issues, and had some minor character progression. Obviously this could be hard/impossible if last session ended just before something important, but it's another option to keep in mind.
When the session ended, all the party had gained was four extra health potions, full stomachs, and little extra pocket change. However everyone walked away having gotten to connect with their character and the world a bit more.
After my last major burnout, I decided to come up with a way to not be a Forever DM... I had my players control 2 or more characters/creatures for a while (giving them pets and such) for a short game (5-6 sessions)...
When the burnout started again, I approached the group with a "you've guys have already done the hard part of being the DM with all of you tracking and working multiple characters and such... You're just on the other side of the screen...
We now have 2 experienced DMs (besides me) and one gaining her confidence to be a 4th DM. She is in "Apprentice" mode right now with me guiding her on some of the nuances. Other than the bits of advice and answering questions, my character is the "near-mindless" Battle Mage (Twilight Cleric with INT dump stat) to help minimize the intelligent help needed for the encounters (ie metagaming)
You hit this one out of the park. I don’t think people realize that you’re only as good as the people you steal from. I spent a lot of time creating my campaign setting, but then use old adventures like Red Hand of Doom or Expedition to the Demonweb Pits or…*cough* Shadows of Drakendudes *cough* to play through my world.
Being able to have a guide to use in you’re reskinned world allows you to be more creative while doing less work.
I meant ‘your reskinned world’
Fantastic video, and (for me) incredible timing.
I have been feeling for several weeks now, something...amiss in my game, and this video has put into words much of my otherwise ambiguous feelings. In particular, I like your suggestion of a second Session Zero, and a hard reset of expectations. I think I will do EXACTLY that at my next game.
Take care of yourselves guys. Love the content.
Hey I've done a couple of second Session Zero's and they are fantastic! We called them Session 0.5s. I tell my players that a Session Zero is coming up and to think about what was fun, what wasn't and if there is anything they are itching to experience in D&D for their characters. This gives each player the time to think about their own situation and what they would like to see in future D&D sessions.
Other helpful items for a second session zero are:
- Bring your own notes on how you think the game has gone, what you liked and what you didn't. Areas that you want to improve. This would be the time also to indicate you are feeling amiss and would like to take a break from running the game.
- If you are using and house rules or homebrew elements, going through them again briefly really helps remind the players.
- Give each player the chance to speak, discuss their thoughts and take in their suggestions.
If you can, have another activity lined up for after the second session zero. For example, everyone could watch a show or play a boardgame (that you don't need to referee). Perhaps another person could organize the activity so you have less things to do. Everyone can still have a good time, while completing the important second session zero.
Edit: Also forgot to mention - Thank the players! There wouldn't be a game or a session zero without them. Hopefully they find ways to thank their DM in kind!
My personal method of alleviating burnout is to have regular “session re-zeros” after the end of every session.
I use a structured feedback system: Roses, Thorns & Buds. Roses for what they liked about the session, Thorns for what they disliked about the session, and Buds for what they would like to see in the next session.
This feedback structure applies for all players and the GM. Players can give feedback to other players or to the GM, and the GM can also give feedback on how the players performed.
This structure helps to regularly reset expectations across the entire table, and you get to learn what each individual player enjoys and are engaged in, and hence cater your subsequent sessions to their interest. If a player (or the GM) is not performing up to your standards, this structure also provides an opportunity to give them constructive feedback and help them grow to be better players / GMs in the future.
By doing these regular reviews, one should be able to identify immediately why a player is not engaged with your session, and you have a platform to communicate as adults how to fix this issue together.
It also has the very, very important role of providing regular validation to the GM that their players had fun and that the preparation that they did was worth it. Truly, validation is the most powerful force for stopping GM burnout.
Thank you for this comment
Really good video, thanks.
I find that I'm not burned out from being a DM, but because work is so grueling that I'm too tired to get creative enough to properly build a level for my players
I loved that you guys touched on real mental health concerns that DM burnout could be a symptom of and provided those resources for help. I've heard it many times regarding depression and stress that losing interest in hobbies you enjoyed can be a symptom to a larger mental health issue. Real life can be a a kick to the nuts and it's completely fine to tell your group that a personal situation came up and you need some time away from the game to get some help.
I Dungeon Master every other week. This allows me time to think, prep, review, alter, and muddle about.
We have been playing virtually for a few years but I anticipate a time we return to the table. Fortunately I have a designated place and table so I can leave it as is from session to session.
I have believed in all these things and they all work.
Great video, Dudes. I was experiencing DM burnout in my homebrewed campaign set in Eberron. I didn't feel my players enjoyed the game, and felt that my efforts were wasted. I took a few weeks off, and started a new campaign: Dungeons of Drakkenheim. Now it's been five months, me and my players are having a great time, everybody is trilled. So, thanks a lot! You guys are the best.
You guys crack me up.... Nice try on pretending to be burnt out!! 🤣 I'm from Québec, GO CANADA!! Love your videos, always.... 😉
Love the idea of one shots breaking up the narrative! Might put them in game between modules as like campfire stories or something like that
I've been running the Dragon of Icespire Peak as my second campaign, and after running the Lost Mine of Phandelver, I found the beauty of homebrewing the ever living crap out of a pre-built campaign. The Lost Mine taught me that when a dragon appears in a campaign and there is little to no importance or detail to that encounter, you should feel free to make it as important and interesting as a dragon fight should actually be. Now I feel like I've blossomed into a very creative and homebrew-focesed DM but still love taking a pre-built campaign as a jumping off point, like a writing prompt to get you started. Dragon of Icespire Peak just happens to be an awesome sandbox foundation that allows for countless options for tying the individual encounters into the same overarching plot, while weaving in the characters' backstory elements to catch some of the less-relevant encounters too. The module ends up feeling like a 2nd layer of DM, a meta-DM to keep boundaries in place and events lined up for the DM while he/she is doing the same for his/her players. It's a great way to flex creativity without most of that creative effort being wasted on the more basic foundations of infrastructure and basic plot outline.
That being said, this video could not have come at a more perfect time. Thank you, dudes... you somehow put this video out right at the same time my players are approaching the city of Neverwinter (a city famous for showing up as a map circle but having no module-supported content in any pre-built campaign in the forgotten realms). Neverwinter has been a huge point of anxiety because it's a big leap of faith, stepping from the safety of the pre-built towns and encounters into not just a completely homebrewed area, but a MASSIVE and complicated area with almost limitless potential (and therefor a huge lack of guiderails). This video was exactly what I needed to hear right now, and has inspired me to talk with my players about---oddly enough--injecting a bit of metagame information in to help set the expectations for them and what they can and want to find in the city. Turns out they have already been discussing "downtime activities" which sound like they will be the perfect way to turn a massive city into smaller montage-style scenarios to satisfy what the players want to find, while limiting the boundaries of what has to be prepared for such freedom of action. Thanks again, dudes. Keep up the awesome work!
Doing gods work guys! This is so important for longevity and general mental health. You gotta look out for what you enjoy in the game.
Playing some low-effort fun other boardgame is a great way to shake it up. But most efficient of all - talk to your players. You really don't wanna hang out with somebody who won't accept that you need a break, anyway
Absolutely create and nurture a gaming group with multiple GMs. I would have never attempted to GM if I hadn't been nudged and shoved into trying it by one of the other folks in my group. He knew that he needed gaming in his life, but his family life and job were going to get in the way of him being a forever GM. So he taught me to cultivate the other GMs in your group. My main group has three of us who GM long term campaigns and others in the group willing to run shorter campaigns. It's kept the group strong for 15 years and counting now. We all get the chance to play, we all get the chance to run. We're there to support one another and make sure we're getting an awesome gaming experience together.
This is a great subject for a video! DMs can put a ton of time and investment into their role and it can definitely end up becoming an extra job. There's a reason people offer paid DM games!
The weirdest thing is when you don't even realize you're experiencing burnout. Since it's a game, a lot of us don't think about it when you're feeling tired or something. The first time I experienced it, I tried to change a lot of things in my life until I realized it was a problem coming from my game, and I was like "wait, but this is supposed to be fun". After I did some work to fix it (aka getting new players lol), everything fit in place.
Thanks for the advice, Dudes :)
Thank you for making a video about this subject; I had to stave off burnout a couple of months ago. I value your videos and channel so much, guys. :)
I hit a wall earlier this year after a few years of pretty regular DMing. We took a break over the summer, and while we were off, I took some time to kinda "get under the hood" of my game in a way I couldn't with the weekly demands of prep. Naturally, I started by getting petty. I filled a page or two of my notebook, jotting down all the frustrating things I had to deal with as a DM. When I ran out of steam, I put the notebook away. A few weeks later, and with a cooler head, many of them didn't feel like big deals anymore. For the big ones, I tried to think of ways I could adjust my approach to mitigate. I can't say I've solved all of my problems, but it was a healthy dose of perspective that proved highly valuable.
No advice. I've been a fan for about 5 years and wanted to say you guys are amazing. I enjoy your content and this video did not disappoint. I particularly appreciated the message at the end of this video and wanted to say thank you.
Great video, major problem. Our current table (now ages 13-53) has been playing together for 5 years. I am the main DM. A few things we have done to help with DM burnout:
1. Be picky about who sits at your table. We are a chill crew looking to have fun every other friday night. We have made that clear from the start and have had almost zero table drama. I love seeing this crew. Avoid burning out on the personalities at the table if you can by being picky with who you invite into an ongoing/longterm game. Nothing will burn you out faster than a player you really do not want to hang out with.
2. I DM 80% of the time, but eventually (and not all at once) 3 players indicated an interest in running games. So I run by default, and when one of the newer DMs is ready they step in and run 3 or 4 sessions or whatever. When they run out of prepped material, I am ready to step back in. This set up as worked great for us. I have helped the new DMs as much as they want -- picking out a module/adventure, tips for prep etc. But one thing that seems to have helped a lot is when someone expresses an interest in DMing, on a night when someone can not play and we might otherwise cancel, we have the DM in training run combats vs. some premade characters and coach them through the process in the open so they can get comfortable with that aspect of the game of from the DMs perspective and see the tools we use. It also seems to really help new DMs to have other DMs at the table to help with the rules to help alleviate some of that pressure.
3. Party night: My crew likes games within the game. And there is an NPC quest giver -- with mysterious teleportation abilities -- who shows up inside Lemunds Tiny Hut or at the campsite during a long rest with a deck of 3 dragon ante cards, lairs dice, etc... Not every group is going to enjoy this, but ours does and I use one 3 or 4 times a year. And, we have had some awesome RP developments during such nights.
4. Table expectations were made clear at session zero, and this crew is considerate, if you are DMing -- food, snacks, beverages will be supplied for you. We all throw down money, but we have someone who has the "I get the food" role. Everyone (except the DM) brings snacks and drinks.
Sorry this is so long, but the struggle is real and I hope what works at our table might work for someone else.
Fantastic touch to add the Public Service Message and contact information regarding Mental Health. Yes, it's appropriate for this vid's content -- but it also shows respect and consideration. Mad props, you Dudes.
Something that has helped to stave off burnout for me is asking my players for feedback of the session or the direction of the campaign. Sometimes you need to get a little bit specific with your questions. Rather than just ask, "How's the game going for everyone?" or, "How was this session?", try asking, "Is there some part of the game everyone would like to see more of less of?" or ask questions about game flow. I find this feedback useful for not only my prep but also increasing the fun for everyone, DM included.
Fantastic video, as a DM with 20 years experience: thank you for all of this!
So, a brief tale, then some pointers I've learned.
I ran a campaign for several years, and the mention of someone else running ended that table. Currently at a new table where everyone DMs, and we take turns.
Now, some pointers.
Changing games or styles is important. I recommend doing this long before burnout starts to show. For example, on off weeks where we're not playing D&D, I host games of Battletech. Or we'll go out for beers. Or do a movie night. Change it up, often and intentionally.
Next, I too had players take on roles. One person was the "Lore keeper". They took copious notes. Another was the mapper. Another was the treasurer and accountant, and was responsible for recording and dividing loot. Finally, I had the players recount the events of the last session. This informed me about their perceptions as well as what story hooks worked.
Also, I learned A LOT about improvisation through LARPing years ago. So my prep is a map, some minis, a few point form notes, and a lot of improvisation. I've learned that players derail, so I run with those derailments and create stories on them. If they ignore a particular villain, that's fine, because now things get worse and the danger cranks up a notch. Improvisation is your friend. Do it a lot. You'll only get better.
Lastly, I remove the stress of fudging rolls. I roll openly. This creates player engagement, as well as removes any stress of responsibility. The players know it's the dice. I merely adjudicate. DMs who feel compelled to roll behind a screen tend to burn out faster, because there's always a player who doubts, questions, or metagames...and that builds stress over time. That stress is a burnout trigger.
Great that you tackle this topic. Sometimes even the fun things can grow over your head.
Needed this. Been on a month long hiatus from our game.
The stakes are high now...
Act III. The finale.
Players are becoming God like.
Lich with undead Tarrasque and an entire army conquering half the world map.
Been like...
damn...
the bar is so high now...
Think it's time for a Session Re-zero
I have utilized Encounter Builder on D&D Beyond often over the past year as a fine quick-reference tool for each encounter area. Before that, I had utlilzed a Word doc summary based on the module descriptions. Just enough notes taken to spring the game forward. If I overwrite, I won't even see the words because I'm caught up with the improv moments created by the character's actions. I agree with your approach of not preparing too much. Absolutely alleviates the burnout by removing the gravitas of hours being spent, which will start to feel like work.
I played in a campaign some time ago, where all the players were super excited and invested in the game. Except for the DM, who was pushing through just because the players were so happy. It does give a LOT of energy to DM to see their players having fun and being interested in the game, but everything has its limits.
Our DM was afraid to tell us that not everything is well, and kept pushing themselves. Over time, we could feel something is not right, but were respecting the privacy, and were not too keen to ask the DM.
They burnt out really badly - and the game itself came to a screeching halt.
From making a break for a few weeks, to an eventual switch to a new campaign, to the new campaign being a shot in the dark, to the group saying goodbyes and never playing again. All this in just a few months, after years of playing D&D.
My DM was starting his Master's and was stressed between DMing, work, and school. So I ran a whole side quest where he got to play for 5 sessions. Be a homie to your DM!
Forever DM here to STAN A KING
we forever DM's need more players like you
I love all of the content you guys put out . As someone who has mostly only played as a pc and only dipped my toe into the GM pool I feel the need to say thank you for putting out this episode. It genuinely made me think of the amount of effort My GM puts into creating a great session for myself and our other players . I personally would love to reciprocate that for my all the time GM and pay it forward so to speak in a ttrpg sense. thank you for all the insight and advise on this subject, all the value I put on your other informative and entertaining content ( and you guys are my go to)may be eclipsed by this one posting it really put this hobby in a new perspective for me.
Whenever I start getting burnt out of being a Forever DM, I use one of the anthology books to do a Round Robin campaign. It's nice because it gives everyone a chance to be a DM and a player.
Thank you so much for this video!! I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate you covering burnout as a DM.
I feel like this did a lot to help my mental health in general not just dnd. Really needed this one!
Thanks for this video. I ended up taking on being a DM when the DM rage quit our group (he wanted to be a dictator DM, and the players wanted a more collaborative approach). We're about 6 games in, and I'm about to finish the secrets of Skyhorn lighthouse. Your suggestion to let someone else run a one-shot was a great idea. I just posted that offer in our discord to ask for help while I prep the next story line. Thanks for a great video.
I love watching u guys. Keep up the good work. I love the energy u guys put into the opening scene. U guys are the best
This intro is gold
I’m very fortunate that I have an amazing DM in our fortnightly games who then plays in the games I DM monthly. It gives both of us time to play as well as DM, and someone to bounce ideas off of, talk to when we need support etc.
My partner runs a campaign for a bunch of us and it's really helped him to have me as "Co-DM" where I take on a lot of the admin responsibility (Scheduling, music, questions in and out of game). In addition he opens up the game every few months for a different member of out group to try their hand at DMing (myself included) and it's a great learning environment for new DMs since we're a very understanding group. The one-shots so far have all been canon with out same characters, and my partner plays an NPC as a PC, so it's a fun collaborative story too and we'll return to concepts or locations from the one-shots in our regular game sessions.
One of my players is taking the DMs chair for the first time on Thursday. For me it was the rebalancing of roles: I feel like I stopped being the architect of the universe, balancer of combat, and teller of tales - and started being the childminder to a murder hobo who won’t learn how to play, two chaos gremlins who explode when proximate, and three tired quiet people who end up bunkering down when the shooting starts.
This video is Exactly what I needed, and I’m gonna work through it and see whether my game can be saved without changing the group composition with an axe.
Great video! I have been running a somewhat homebrew campaign using sword coast material, and it has been burning me out due to time constraints and it was my first campaign. My players want it to keep going, but after a year and a half I am burntout on it and want to move to something easier for me and I want to reset to start with a clean slate. One thing I noticed is that as I have grown as a DM I have started to not like choices I made previously about the world and NPCs and I want a bit of a fresh start. But my players do not want a fresh start, they want to carry heroes to level 20 and i guess never stop lol. I recently convinced them to be on board with us running a new campaign (with the intention of it being a long campaign) after this one gets to a good stopping point. We are going to run a game in the world of skyrim and I am going to steal the setting and major outline of the quests of skyrim and adapt it to D&D. I have been so invigorated to put it all together now that I basically get to take something like skyrim and turn it up to 11. So thats one of my recommendations. Find a game you love or a fantasy world you love that has great material available for it online and just crank that world up to an epic D&D adventure. Sure, Alduin in Skyrim is fine, but MY Alduin as a D&D major villian is going to be amazing! Super excited, hope this helps. Zelda games or Elder Scrolls are great templates imo.
Ironically I've had games where Pay-to-Play DMs experience burnout because they running so many games, exactly like its a job. I always appreciate those who want to be the DM because the whole thing just seems so stressful whether you do it for free or it's your livelihood.
A couple years ago, when I was just getting back into DMing after a long break from RPGs entirely (stupid life getting in the way), I started running Waterdeep: Dragonheist for a group of mostly new players, mostly new to me. It began well enough, but due to one PCs paranoid nature, when they got to the whole "here you can have this building" thing they were working through the neighborhood etc. like they were trying to solve a murder, trying to discover the entire history of the place and what "the catch" was. I played along for several game sessions, feeling more and more stressed as they went farther off topic and I improvised more and more, until finally at the beginning of a new session I just asked to step back for a moment and explained how far we'd wandered from the intent of the module, and how much trouble I was having dealing with it. All the players were super surprised, and were so kind and understanding about it, and it was a huge weight off my shoulders.
We talked things over some more and I realized that a setting with a wide open sandbox and potentially infinite number of NPCs to invent on no notice is just not what I'm comfortable with in running a game, so we set that module aside entirely and I started running the Sundered Citadel for them instead, with the same party. They had a blast, I had fun as a DM, and we're still playing other stuff together several years later. Moral of the story: don't hide it from your players if you start having a hard time, and don't be afraid to step back from the roleplay and just talk to each other as people if you're having trouble. You'll be amazed at how eager they'll be to help.
I did the rotating DM thing during a move and it worked perfectly. One of my players I thought would make a great DM didn't step up, but 2 others stepped up and we still rotate to prevent burnout and give us plenty of time to prep as needed.
Emily Nagoski's book on Burnout discusses that women are expected to be "Human Givers" while men are allowed to be "Human Beings" and that contributes to burnout as women are expected to spend their time and energy on others before they spend it on themselves. I can see similar dynamics play out at D&D tables where the DM is expected to be the giver, while players just get to be. In terms of setting expectations, one of the most important is that everyone at the table is a participant, and everyone's fun matters, rather than the experience being a service the DM provides to players.
Player conflict is the worst cause of burnout for me. Great video, dudes. Man, you've gotten good at this. :)
For me as DM (running Drakkenheim currently) taking a week off every once in awhile is super helpful.
Sometimes we still get together and hang out. Other times life got in the way for someone (we are all couples) and its a great excuse for me to take that break.
Just finished running session 10 for one of my groups tonight (we had taken a few weeks off). I have a second group that just did session 5 this past Saturday and met every week my first group couldn’t but won’t play this coming weekend. Hurray for a Saturday night off. 😊
thanks for the full circle content that your offer. Monty said it best that DM burn out might just be a symptom of something else. Thanks again guys and thanks for making content that is for the "whole TTRPG player" not just builds and for content sake.
At our table I had a burn-out moment right before running a session of D&D. We all sat down, all of the table was setup but I had this lethargic wave hit me right before play. A slow-burnout masked by exhaustion! I told my players at that time, right before the session started that I felt exhausted, possibly burnt out and that I didn't feel like this was going to be fun. Each of them acknowledged this positively - they liked that I told them and each responded saying that I did look "off" and that the last couple of sessions had been less fun for everyone. So we packed up the D&D and broke out some boardgames. The next meet-up we went out and hit the local arcade and some lunch.
During our time out our resident Starwars super-fan reminded us all that we had started a Starwars RPG story in the year prior and we could potentially continue that. The following week we did two sessions revising old characters, plots and having fun. By the time a month had passed, I was revved, ready to dive back into D&D with a new adventure direction. I told the players before the next game that I would like to take a new direction on the adventure. I also told my players that I would like to introduce a module from Candlekeep Mysteries to through into the mix. And my players loved that.
We kicked back our D&D adventure with some plot that ran straight into player character downtime - each player had the chance to do things with their characters and the city they love that had been on their bucketlist for D&D. I ran a module from Candlekeep Mysteries almost exactly as written except for tying in some poison and necrotic damage types to attacks and had the boss bad guy exclaiming he was more powerful from the campaign's big baddie. That was enough to tie it into the main adventure story without lots of prep work. The players loved that I told them that I was using that content because they could revisit places they had been to in the past and explore more.
As a 'forever' DM, I learned: My players love to know out-of-character a little about what is happening - such as upcoming 'downtime' or if 'a new mystery' is going to being. It gives them time to mentally prepare and enjoy the events of the story when it happens around the table. They are much less 'lost' when new events occur or a shift the adventure takes place.
Our group also now does batches of different types of gaming days. Some weeks it will be D&D consecutively. Then we'll change to a couple of weeks in Starwars or another system. Then we may do a day out or a boardgames mix. Not playing the same game every week for a year (I speak from experience) is actually fantastic!
Whoa! Perfect timing!
I've been on a hiatus from running my campaign about a month now, and I'm figuring to get back in the seat in a few more weeks.
If you a DM are having trouble filling lore and stories into your game, you can use anything you found memorable in previous campaigns to serve as stories in your current game. Whether you have them be actual events in your game or simply tall tales, these can help you fill in-game downtime socializing with npc's. It's important that they were memorable to you, that's the whole point. It's less work for you to create things to talk about, and it lets you be on-topic nostalgic, while also letting you obscure when you are dropping actual lore. Works best with sandbox homebrews, but usable in any game.
Also a great tool for players who are bards, or want to play a bard, but are holding off because are worried they will not have any/enough stories to tell. Other players who were there will enjoy hearing past events. and players who weren't a part of that game will be impressed and uncertain if you just made that up. Bard cred.
I think a big part of "burnout" is a mismatch in DM style. New DMs learn through your and others' videos, and never give themselves the time to develop their own style that they actually enjoy.
People hear that "DMing is difficult" or "DMing takes a while to learn" and they think that it's just learning/growing pains. "Once I'm a more experienced DM, this stuff will become more fun."
I teach as many people as I can how to be a DM, and my first word of advice to every new DM is "Just play the game. If you have specific questions, then ask, but don't ask general/vague questions. Those are up for you to decide." The most common question is "How do I be a good DM?" which there is no answer to. You just be the DM you are, and that's being the best DM there can be.
I love that you guys put up resources for mental health at the end. I lost my childhood friend from intentional OD because of unaddressed mental health stuff. Thank you for spreading that stuff.
Sometimes what I love most about these videos is how it validates stuff I already do, but from a new perspective. Lol
great opening bit dudes
I’ve actually tried some of these and I think they are all really good tips. For my group I started as a player and then I decided to try my hand at a one-shot (with DM’s support of course, and after watching many Dungeon Dudes videos). Everyone liked it and I enjoyed it as well and since then I’ve created my own campaign and so we now alternate weeks, 1 week we all do the original campaign and then the next week we do mine. It gives the other DM and I turns relaxing and playing characters ourselves, and it helps me if I don’t quite know a rule, he usually does. Since it’s my first campaign I took about half the campaign from books and half I’ve made up myself, so that really helps my stress level as well.
I run my game every other week. to help avoid burnout, my players take turns running short campaigns in the intermittent weeks. This lets me play some of the new exciting characters I come up with and it gives me regular breaks.
"The Buried Giant" by Kazuo Ishiguro is a D&D adventure waiting to happen. I ran a 6 session game based on the book and it was awesome.
I learned so much about improv while playing Microscope and Follow. Two storiedriven low to no prep systems I realy realy love.
Modules are also very good for introducing new players, because it allows you to spend more time with the players and less time focusing on the details of the setting, which keeps your workload down and makes the experience more enjoyable for new players.
I am so thankful for this Video. I learned these things years ago the hard way when my work and my hobbies exhausted me so much that I could barely function let alone live. I was so deeply exhausted and depressed that I tried suicide. To All those who feel burned out: please listen to the signals your body gives you and seek professionell help is necessery or at least talk to a friend, your parents, your counseling teacher, your hair dresser or, if your are religious, your local priest... there is always someone who is there to help, you just have to ask (and yes I know, asking for help is the hardest part in this).
I follow the path of The Lazy Dungeon Master, as described in Mike Shea’s books.
Running a joint campaign with another DM or two can help. Say you have 5 players total, each with a character, but one sits out as their player DMs for the other 4. Give the party a location or vehicle that facilitates jumping around to different one-shots and small arcs.
Over the holidays, my gm was burning out after we finished a campaign and were set to play another, so I stepped up to run a mini dungeon crawler. I wrote a 10-page rules document for a simple fantasy system that can be learned in a few minutes. We played 4 games and it was goofy and cool and I had a lot of fun flexing my creative muscles in the process. My gm got to take a month or so off and started fresh.
Great video! I’d love to see a video from you guys talking about DM improv tips. I think a lot of folks would get alot from that.
The timing of this video is excellent! Thank you so much