Reassurance and Accommodation In OCD - How To Stop Reassuring!
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- čas přidán 11. 06. 2024
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Reassurance and Accommodation is very common within OCD. The individual may feel extreme anxiety until someone can reassure them that they are okay regarding their perceived fear. Knowing your role as a loved one or parent can be super helpful. I give you the tools and tips necessary of how to be helpful and how to not be helpful when it comes to OCD. - Jak na to + styl
I am a great "researcher" when it comes to my OCD. I didnt realize that me reading forums or reading others experiences was reassurance for me. 😱
May it villify you also. I think. I hope that's a good synonym word. These comments all help me especially today. Comments are pretty darn important. Mine.......MEH....... but these other comments will maybe change our entire lives
Thats the same reassurance I do!
Me too. I need to stop.
Is watching videos and reading comments on health anxiety and OCD a form of reassurance?
@@leapingjoseph8462 I would say it depends on how it's done.
Give the grizzly bear of anxiety a tight hug, be comfortable with it, become friends with it and then check mate it in a game of chess. Good advice.
I have this with my OCD as well. I need constant reassurance over everything I do. Decisions, life choices, etc. Sometimes I can’t even decide if I should eat something so I have to ask someone, or if I have a bad thought I have to ask if it’s bad. I feel crazy. My mind tells me I can’t even think about something or it will happen and my mind spirals. I’ll have to ask people about my issues over and over and I feel so bad for it. I tend to over share on accident or be too detailed because I want them to be completely able to reassure me.
If I keep having the same questions on the same item over and over again I'll ask but eventually I notice this question is a pattern for me so they give me the same answer as before I now take that answer as true and will try really hard not to ask again that month or the next I just accept the answer they gave & sometimes they gave an answer + solution so I now go do the solution they provided by myself so I do and it turns out well and so I can go several months without asking again or in some cases I now no longer ask that question cuz the solution worked prior.
I do not take their answer as true however if I see they've lied to me like washing their hands as soon as they come into the house they've lied several times on this so I can't trust them but me telling/reminding them to wash their hands has gotten ire and them basically telling me I'm crazy, I'm over reacting when there is a pandemic on, and its not necessary when there is a pandemic on! I know if it was ever to not be around I'd calm down like before but right now I can't and they don't care. I'm trying to not let this invalidate other true answers + solutions they've given me however by performing them as needed and as they come back fine with no issue I have reinforced the trueness of this specific answer & solution so I do not need them.
I use to be really long winded and detailed when I spoke cuz everything is important but they kept yelling at me, they decided my long winded explanations were not valid or needed or wanted, and cutting me off and ignoring me and then I developed a vocal disorder where I can't speak most of the time so now I can't be detailed and I have to hurt myself to speak most of the time so I best decide the sentence that is most important. So via them ignoring me and my disability I now say little but I want to say tons.
❤️🙏 much love to both of you, we are not alone and we got this!
You're not crazy. It's just the OCD
These anxious thoughts are so frustrating for me because i know that the worries aren’t real but there’s always that bit of what if it is . It’s exhausting
Me too😥
Yes, absolutely.
I used to be in such a bad spot and it's taken me a while to become accustomed to feeling uncomfortable but eventually by doing exposures, not reassuring, and always go towards the fear and never run away has helped me so much but I am far better! If you haven't started doing exposures yet I highly !
It's so hard. The reassurance is the only thing that can make the thoughts stop because I trust my loved ones so much more than I trust myself. I'm in therapy and we just brought up the possibility I have OCD instead of just health anxiety and this video had me sobbing...I feel so seen and so scared.
the thought of my loved ones not reassuring me or helping me make sure things are safe and okay is actually TERRIFYING. I'm so afraid to even watch this with my SO and him learn that reassuring me is bad for me. I haven't even started implementing anything I'm learning yet and my anxiety is through the roof. I really hope this gets easier.
I seek constant reassurance from the people around me... I didn't realize it was more detrimental than helpful. I understand it so much better now. I need to show this to all my loved ones haha.
If we liken the need for reassurance to an addictions framework, it's kind of like the craving for reassurance (the substance) makes us seek it out, we get temporary relief (the "high"), and then we develop a tolerance and therefore need more reassurance just to feel that same relief. The more we challenge ourselves to abstain from reassurance, the easier it will become over time to be able to face certain "triggers" or events that activate our OCD symptoms and find alternative methods of getting relief from those anxious urges.
Just found your channel today and I feel like for the first time in a while I am finally able to breathe, knowing that I'm not alone. I purchased your online course too and am excited to start doing my homework :-)
You have literally helped me so much in my life and so many others
When you were listing the types of questions OCD sufferers want answers to, I involuntarily smiled because I struggled and still struggle with so many of these, and it's validating to hear it talked about in such detail. I've watched several of your videos, and your serene attitude is infectious, and gives me a little more faith in my ability to cope with this disease and accept uncertainty. I'm not able to do it as of right now, but I am and will contiue striving. Thank you for your channel and the quality information you give on OCD, it's really helpful, especially to those in difficult situations where opportunities for therapy are limited. Wish you all the best.
The mind not shutting up is a problem of this era, some time ago when people had a more physical life, their minds were more peacefull, do intense physical exercise everyday, it can be yoga, it can be gym, running, dancing whatever, just exhaust yourself physically, your mind will settle down, and after meditate for some time, you will be fine...
Man you're one smart cookie. Personally ive noticed that as a young adult, i now look to the internet for reassurance, im gonna work on stopping that. Maybe meditate then try to reassure myself (by myself) once im more calm. Thanks for the help :)
Don't re assured by yourself and logic makes OCD worse turst me
I have to catch myself not being sneaky about asking for reassurance. 😜😛
Its been so hard to not ask for reassurance but I know it helps.
Your way of approach to explaining things are amazing. 💚💚
I have learned more from this video from hours on the phone and in meetings with Nhs services
I’ve been struggling for about 13 years with this and have been seeking treatment. Your videos help me so much!!
i find this video so comforting
Yeah, this year as my OCD has gotten really bad, I definitely ask for reassurance. I'll bring that up with my therapist next time, and ask him how to talk to family and friends about it.
Im going to watch this with my loved one and see if we can make some changes. Thanks!
I learn so much from your videos! Thank you!
I watch videos a lot about OCD to make myself calm and right now I focused on one thing and remind myself that I focused it means I solved, then after what came to my mind it is related to OCD and doubt. I know it and always remind myself😭
Thank you , when I talk to my girlfriend and my best friend about my OCD im going to send them this video
Thank you so much for this!!!
As I have OCD, I usually need assurance from other people. This video relates a lot to me. Thank you.
My partner has OCD I tell him after he asks a question “you get 2 more questions for the day” and its helped. But its still so challenging for me. His OCD sucks all the energy from me. Its so hard.
Be there for him! He needs you
Imagine what its like for him
@@inesharmach6237 It’s difficult for this lady! Imagine the situation for her.
This is very helpful. I thought it was only me who felt this.
Thank you for helping peoples minds
Honestly, it seems to help when i reassure my OCD. Like, literally telling my brain "its okay." But i do try to side step compulsions as well
Hi! What a GREAT video!!! I mean...my mom tells me only “You’ve already told it and asked it! I don’t wanna talk about it” then I get sad and ask other people. Now I know that there’s another strategy wow!!! Thank you so much! What about accommodation? I didn’t understand if I should do all by myself cause when I’m staying at someone’s place, then I’ll come home and won’t do much...
Slightly related, but more for the people in the comments.
I have a friend whos really good at not reassuring me, and it has made me very uncomfortable and borderline mad in the past, HOWEVER, his intent was to help me with my issue, and I just wanted to point that out, that a lot of people aren't out to spite your OCD or anything, they are genuinely trying to help, and care about you, don't let your OCD tell you otherwise, ok? They will forgive you for getting mad and etc, you gotta forgive them for not understanding what bothers you, and ultimately you gotta realize that in most situations, its not actually a big deal, you're OCD wants you to think it is. You can always talk about why it bothers you, and voicing your concerns and feelings is very good, but also just learn to forgive people for not having the same thought processes when it comes to things lol, and also realize that they are fine, and you might be too.
Sometimes I know for a fact that I locked the front door, and I can see that its locked coz I'm looking at it. But my brain tells me I'm still not sure about it, and I need someone to come over and tell me what I already know. That the door is in fact locked.
7:07 - 7:25
Sums up everything ❤️
You are such a sweet guy, Peter :)
Thank you so much :))
Sometimes I think people think its funny to trigger me, because I then act in an odd way that looks funny to other people
Please remember me in your prayers I also have ocd hopefully God most honorable most glorified besides whom there is no power wishes will help me overcome it easily.
im not officially diagnosed and im trying to manage things before they blow up. do you think its possible to reduce dependence on reassurance without going cold turkey on them completely? I don't want to tell my friends not to reassure me because they are helpful for hours or even days after i ask. if i can manage doing exposures and resist asking the questions very often so far mainly by myself, its probably not so bad to ask for reassurance once a month or less, right?
Is this also reassuring... Like watching your videos.🤔
HAHA. Many people use videos to find reassurance. I try not to provide any in my videos. 😀
your right ocd's weapon is doubting i recall the times that my ocd keeps me doubting everything.. even ownership to my own properties.. and i have a question how uncertainty beat ocd it is the complete opposite?
Can you talk more about sensorimotor or hyperawareness OCD? No one seems to talk about it.
So does seeking reassurance constantly count as a compulsion?
How can I gain the courage to tell my parents to stop accommodating? They do it now without my asking. 😉
I ALWAYS look up stuff when i geel anxious just to prove the thoughts i had wrong and I know I shouldn't but I do
I have been trying to not reassure myself recently and it’s very difficult. For me I keep questioning this bad accusation someone said about my bf and I keep asking myself what if he did it? It’s also hard because everytime I think about our relationship the thought of what if he did it pops up and I can never feel good about our relationship anymore. I’m mot sure if I should just keep telling myself “wow my relationship is so amazing” and let myself feel anxious about it because the thought is still there. Is that how I can overcome this ?
What do you do when the person doesn’t realize that this is what they are doing and becomes hostile whenever you bring up not giving reassuring answers to their questions?
Been going up and down whit my chekking ocd and thats main reason i have not yet gone to doctor in year.... now that im at the peak of chekking ocd it would be easier to burn my house than get over and re chek things...
I was finally able to have a good night sleep. Slept the whole time.
Yes
I feel very hard to deal with ocd
It’s bad when you get reassurance but the reassurance you got didn’t sound like the way you wanted it and you want another one just to make sure. 🤦♂️
This feeling also strikes me
Please help me out
I keep asking my mom and my dad all the time if I'm okay and if I'm just over thinking or if I have a mental condition and my mom and dad are annoyed at me right now 😅
Wow , thanks.
Im trying hard my dad has been keeping me awake and justifying it,
My ocd thought keeps on changing previously I had thought of eye contact where after few days could see only eyes but now after strongly exposing I could see the entire face through eyes .it has been a month since I have thought of observing blink and rounding of eyes.so hoe to do a ERP could anybody help with it
I am doing this a lot. I have to freaking stop.
I have this too goddamn
The thing that i would like to ask is "if i do this, something bad will happen" is ocd thought like; "if i clean my room, organize my stuff or walk through the right side of the way something bad will happen" is this ocd experience? Because of all this i'm procrastinate or quit most of my tasks. Do i have a ocd issue???
I can't tell you if that's what you're experiencing. I often look at just through vs. thought mixed with threats and anxiety.
@@ocdandanxiety Ty for your answer and sorry to take your time, in my case i need to ask and receive permission from my brain to do normal daily tasks, most of the time for get this permission i need to make some rituals. Only then if i get the right feeling i do that task. Is this attitude familiar in ocd?
This is definitely ocd I have the same thing
@@enginayan9836I had the same issue! Hav u overcome now? I’m still struggling with it and quit my job due to the fact that I can’t even manage to go to work 😢
Could procrastination be a compulsion
Possibly. It depends on the person's motivation of why they are procrastinating. If it's to avoid fear or anxiety, then it's probably a compulsion.
Hi, is venting a sort of reassurance?
In my experience it is.
I think so
Wait I'm doing that with comments. I'm so sorry.. Stop apologizing. Can you not talk to yourself in front of the subscribers. For once? Screw that. . are you okay. Yes. Ok sorry not sorry
Good catch! You're awesome! 😃
Doubt is not a bad thing, its only bad when the same thing keeps coming back. There is no problem on messing up, if you did, you learned something new. The only reassurance you need is from the enlightened masters, from scriptures. Do intense physical exercise and meditate, you will be fine...
Mine is telling my wife everything " like I was scratching my genitils in my half sleep state and touched my phone then my phone was on the kitchen worktop and you prepared food there and now everyone is contaminated eating the food and on and on and on ......my wife has had enough and I dont blame her. My therapist recent suggestion ( she phones me for an hour each week ) was that her colleague suggested that I constantly SEEK reassurance All the time for two days so I get so fed up seeking reasurance, my wife refused as she s nearly had a nervous breakdown and wants to live on her own , I've been like this for over 20 years . I'm taking sertraline 100 mg and I've written twice to my doctor to increase my dose to 200mg here in the UK....please help me. I'm disabled and it's hard to take a bath as I lose my balance and if I have a strip down wash I keep thinking I'm missing areas on my body and spraying dirty water on everything . If I spray urine on my feet and legs by accident in the night I think my slippers are permanently contaminated and the bed sheets and my dog gets on the bed and everyone that pets the dog gets contamination, I just want my life to end.
How you doing man?