The Heartbeat of Infertility | Efe Fruci | TEDxSFU
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- čas přidán 12. 01. 2023
- We've all heard the saying "a lot can happen in a day" when we're looking for unexpected miracles to occur in our lives. However, nothing prepares women for the physical, mental, and emotional anguish they experience within 24 hours and beyond when they don’t hear that heartbeat, and the lengthy battles with infertility continue. Today, Efe Fruci will dive into the mental impact of her infertility journey and the pathway to motherhood while redefining the meaning of womanhood for those walking the same path.
Wherever your journey takes you in his life keep finding your light through everything. Efe Fruci is the founder and executive director of the Odihi Foundation, a nonprofit organization aiming to build confidence and unleash the fullest potential in women worldwide. Her ultimate goal is to use her decade-long experience as a professional career and confidence coach, scientist, CEO, speaker, and author to equip women of all walks of life with the tools to succeed and thrive with greatness. She also holds a degree in Biomedical Science and Health Sciences from Oxford and a degree in Nursing/Midwifery, which secured her seat at the STEM table and set the bar for other prominent Black women. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Thank you for your story. After 6 years in the IVF rollercoaster, I am pregnant with our second and last child. I can’t really share what I have been through with my family as they are very conservative Catholics and made it clear they believe IVF is a sin. Therefore I won’t be baptizing my children into the Catholic faith. My family only knows I considered IVF, not that I pursued treatments for 6 years. My aunt who is a nun calls my son “the miracle baby”. Oh man, she has no idea how true that statement is.
Usually a lot of infertiltiy focuses on the woman's side of things, which Is totally understandable, as most of the physical stuff the female has to go through along with the emotional side of things. However being the guy in this process it is also as heartbreaking and stressful as you feel helpless, when cycle after cycle fails, and you have to deal with the trauma and pain after it. Each time it makes the next cycle that so much harder to actually commit to. I totally agree that everywhere you look there are reminders of what you have not got, friends complaining about their kids behaviour, baby showers, people getting on with normal family life. We have avoided going anywhere there is a lot of kids and families for obvious reasons. It's just heartbreaking. Look at it this way though, think of it as a test, don't think why me, just stand up to the challenge, do what you've got to do to get through, and cast the doubt from your mind and keep ploughing through. If you can do this, you can do anything.
Thank you! Your male perspective was refreshing im standing up to the challenge! ❤
This is what having the courage to be your authentic self looks and sounds like. Excellent, Efe!
Such a powerful testimony. It resonates so close to my personal experience. Courage and healing to everyone that is going through infertility and loss.
I am a men and been trying for more than 5 years with my partner.
Truth is I am tired now. I have no energy to continue. Monthly disappointment is killing me and it is worse when people ask about kids.😢😢
I hope there’s a follow up story with the good news that they have children ❤❤
Powerful testimony, i was crying the whole time watching this 😭. I have been through the same infertility problem. I am glad ppl are sharing thier experiences. We donot feel alone.😢😢
Thank you for giving me hope today.
I have combed the internet for stories like mine. My husband is infertile due to being overweight. It’s heartbreaking.
I completely understand.
Our journey is very similar to yours, our second failed cycle was in October and that one hit me soo incredibly hard. We are currently saving and preparing in every way for cycle three… hope is the only thing that keeps us going
I feel emotional and wish you the best. As for me l only stopped at the examination stage. I can't afford the IVF and I’m hoping to have a child.
I recently got married and been trying even before coz im 36, its mentally depressing to be hopeful every month but no results. My sister just gave birth to baby number 5 all her five children are beautiful and healthy, she never planned for any her pregnancy. Life sometimes ❤️🩹
39 and haven't scored yet. I am throwing a towel and need a hobby to take away from this. It is painful though
in the bathroom at work 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
3 iui, 1 ivf and 2 embryo transfer and still no baby 😢
Wow an amazing conversation.. thanks for sharing
Struggling with infertility for 8 years now, I can't hold on any longer.
Sorry to hear that Nadine, we have been through a good few Years of similar, we've been trying naturally, mixed with failed IVF cycles, suspected early miscarriages etc. The hardest thing is to keep on trying when you feel like giving up, but keep your foot in the door, and refuse to give up!
😢😢... It has been 5 years and I am tired.
Great story. Id love an update
Oh my is my story. The wedding stop for the pandemics and now I am to old.
God will surely give you your children because nothing is impossible for God to do. I am so super proud of your boldness , endurance of being able to share.
Well done sweetheart 🙏🙏🙏❤️😘
I know what I'm about to write sounds crazy, but I'm glad the world is falling apart, because knowledge of what's headed our way is the only thing that helps me deal with infertility. Knowing I don't want to bring a child into this world...
A lie
My case exactly I am a doctor, I can't be pregnancy so sad.
💔
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙌🏽
i share the empathy and the honesty but what I do not understand is why questioning God's plan. We are not all meant to be mothers it is life, the society has made it that you can pay to get children. No it does not work that way, a child is God's gift and will remain as such till the end. In the bible we read many stories of women who were infertile, sterile but lived their destiny powerfully. Why women want to force what is maybe not meant for you? I tend to believe that one must accept life as it comes and live it with the purpose of God has chosen for you. No not all women will or should have baby it is the natural law as unjust as it sounds it is Life, and we must embrace our life and thanks God for making us healthy unique. This 21tc century "children at all cost" make me sick personally !
Well said, thank you.
This is powerful. Thank you Efe for your transparency and faith. 💐🤍