Too Critical Of Emotionally Immature Parents? Lindsay C. Gibson
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- čas přidán 29. 03. 2024
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It strikes me that this is an expected response from the EIP. If I damaged someone’s life or development, I would be eager for them to get help. I would accept whatever level of contact they choose. I would feel terrible and try to become a better person. Their response is “I don’t know why you’re being so mean to me” or “I don’t know why the focus of attention is no longer on me.”
But some parents does have worse than their children.
@@punyashloka4946 This could have come out of my parents’ mouths. I call this sort of thinking the “suffering Olympics.” Whoever suffered the most wins and has the liberty to mistreat anyone they want. They are the most important and attention should always be focused on them. If you question this, you are a mean person and should pipe down. Basically, the life of the person who wins the suffering Olympics is more important than anyone else and will be forever.
Edited to add: It has taken me more than four decades to figure out that my life has as much worth as my parents’ lives.
Thank you for seeing us. Even when we can see why a parent acts as they do, (and having compassion for that), it's not always possible to continue the relationship with them, unfortunately.
I had to go no contact before I could begin to heal. I was stuck in the confusion of trying to feel compassion for them and then denying my own experience because it’s not equal as she explained so well. I had to put my healing first by going no contact because they kept hurting and betraying me without apologizing or seeing things from my perspective even in the present, let alone not acknowledging their past neglect and betrayal. I needed to nurture myself the way they never have first and strong boundaries and putting myself first were part of that. I intellectually understand what my mother especially went through as a child, but I’m not yet able to spend much time in empathy for her because I’m still working through the resentment and bitterness of feeling robbed of what I deserved and suffered a lifetime because of not getting it. This video was brilliant and very helpful.
This was an eye opener for me. My father wanted to make sure my material needs were met. He did a good job of that. He was blind to my emotional needs and therefore unable to meet them.
In our case, material needs were not met. What he gave with one hand, he withdrew with threats and emotional blackmail. There was no way we could be deserving of what he provided.
You deserved better ♥️
Thank you!
♥️♥️
I can relate so much to this.
Thank you