The Extraordinary Self Portraits of Bryan Lewis Saunders

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  • čas přidán 29. 06. 2022
  • WARNING - Video contains small amounts of flashing imagery. Also, in light of some comments, I wasn't quite expecting the effect I made at 51:02 would distress so many people! So just to prepare more sensitive viewers, there's a jumpscare at that time stamp.
    Bryan Lewis Saunders is an American artist who not only creates many fascinating self portraits, but has in fact, till the day of me uploading this very video, made at least one self portrait, every single day, since March 30th, 1995. As a result, Bryan’s increasing collection of self portraits consists of over 13,000 individual sketches, paintings and drawings of him portrayed in various themes and moods. Basically serving as an artist's journal or diary, capturing very specific chapters in his life. Inspired some of his happiest and some of the darkest experiences. The more I looked into Bryan’s story, the more I discovered just how much he endures to create his art. From him illustrating every headache he has had for over twenty years, to brief periods of creating self portraits under the influence of countless types of drugs and intoxicants. Today I’m excited to explore with you, the multi-faces of Bryan Lewis Saunders.
    A huge, special thank you to Bryan for endorsing and assisting me with this video.
    Links to Bryan Lewis Saunders' work:
    Website: bryanlewissaunders.org/
    Instagram: @bryan_lewis_saunders
    Spoken Word: bryanlewissaunders.org/discogr...
    Self Portraits: bryanlewissaunders.org/sps/
    Books: bryanlewissaunders.org/weblog/...
    Art of Darkness documentary:
    • Art of Darkness - Brya...
    -
    Artist Corner:
    Today's featured art is beatiful graphite and charcoal drawings of "Polyzman". Please click on the following link to his instagram: / polyzman
    -
    Submit your art or say hi:
    Email - blinddweller@gmail.com
    Instagram - / blinddweller
    Discord - / discord
    Patreon - / blinddweller

Komentáře • 626

  • @DavidParkerToronto
    @DavidParkerToronto Před 2 lety +1627

    Hey Blind Dweller! I made the Bryan Lewis Sanders documentary “Art of Darkness”. What a pleasure to watch your amazing work! Your narrative, treatment was thoughtful and thorough. And loved your focus and analysis of THE ART!

    • @BlindDweller
      @BlindDweller  Před 2 lety +188

      Hey David, thanks so much! 😁 Art of Darkness was so beautifully done, it honestly captivated me when I first watched it! Hope to see some new projects from you soon!

    • @looplop
      @looplop Před 2 lety +15

      I still am so very fond of your screening! You're the classic! suRRism cheers kind siR!

    • @looplop
      @looplop Před 2 lety +4

      @@BlindDweller

    • @desadefilms621
      @desadefilms621 Před rokem +5

      Art of Darkness does it have a release?

    • @DavidParkerToronto
      @DavidParkerToronto Před rokem +13

      @@desadefilms621 It's free on CZcams

  • @thedarkish3395
    @thedarkish3395 Před rokem +568

    I live in the area this guy does, and have ran into him numerous times at a local bar / venue. Really an interesting guy, always keeps to himself with his notebook sketching away. Never expected him to blow up the way he did virally however. His art was always unique. Super nice guy, despite all he's been through. Talking with him never fails to make me smile.

    • @feralbluee
      @feralbluee Před rokem +23

      thank you - this is amazing to hear from someone who just happened to meet him and to hear what he is like for real, not being interviewed or anything. :) 🌈

    • @doga55shole92
      @doga55shole92 Před rokem +2

      I sense a liar

    • @thedarkish3395
      @thedarkish3395 Před rokem +28

      @@doga55shole92 Sorry you feel that way, Dog A55shole.

    • @tylersrevenge
      @tylersrevenge Před 11 měsíci

      The picture of him as a baby on the phone is ridiculous and hilarious. Who could he be talking to???

    • @laurenbradley6833
      @laurenbradley6833 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Howdy, neighbor

  • @exist4046
    @exist4046 Před rokem +528

    I find is funny how people are referring to him as though he died when he's still uploading artwork and shit on his Instagram. Super happy for him that he seems to be trying to turn the bad parts of his life around for the better. Fucking awesome artwork too.

    • @VictorPerez-iq5de
      @VictorPerez-iq5de Před rokem +8

      What’s his Instagram?

    • @xjunkxyrdxdog89
      @xjunkxyrdxdog89 Před rokem +16

      I saw a video not that long ago that claimed he stopped taking psych meds, made a series of weird portraits, and then offed himself... the intro to this just surprised me.
      They probably saw the same video.
      Edit: we're probably thinking of Bryan charnley.

    • @simasjoch220
      @simasjoch220 Před rokem +1

      @@xjunkxyrdxdog89 to iki

    • @simasjoch220
      @simasjoch220 Před rokem

      @@VictorPerez-iq5de 8iii88iii88iii8ioioo

    • @simasjoch220
      @simasjoch220 Před rokem

      @@VictorPerez-iq5de 8iiiiii8iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiio

  • @ContrastNY
    @ContrastNY Před 2 lety +643

    I have to admit I never heard of Bryan Lewis Saunders. It's rare to find an artist who is so prolific, and also creates stunning work that's intimate and incredibly moving!

    • @BlindDweller
      @BlindDweller  Před 2 lety +28

      He truly is one of a kind, very nice man as well!

    • @looplop
      @looplop Před rokem +1

      Take a deep dive kind one!

    • @oanaalexia
      @oanaalexia Před rokem +3

      I actually seen a bit of his work before, I got recommended videos about art under drugs on CZcams (😨😰 who knows what my algorithm feeds my page) but yeah, I like art and this guy is next level to me in so many ways. Amazing creativity, discipline and the results, I've never seen someone so prolific in his field.

  • @bobbyb42
    @bobbyb42 Před rokem +254

    50:55 scared the absolute shit out of me lol. I was holding my phone extra close to my face to observe the drawing and was not expecting that.
    Edit: I see now that there was a warning in the description lol

    • @anti-ethniccleansing465
      @anti-ethniccleansing465 Před rokem +25

      Whoever reads the description until they get a reminder to do so?? Not me! Heh.
      I also got freaked the hell out from that part. I just finished watching this whole documentary, and whilst reading comments I came across your time stamp, making me scared of that all over again because I naturally forgot what part it was at. Lol. So thanks for that… I’m gonna go change my underwear now. :P

    • @madzwrld
      @madzwrld Před rokem +22

      Me too I'm still shook up 💀

    • @isabellylima2660
      @isabellylima2660 Před rokem +20

      It not only jump scared me, but combined with the descriptions it gave me a deep fear that I started crying omg

    • @lukehostetter9354
      @lukehostetter9354 Před rokem +10

      It scared the absolute shit out of me

    • @recruitlegionary2862
      @recruitlegionary2862 Před rokem +8

      I know right It fucked with me so hard even rewatching made me uneasy even though I knew what happened it didn't help that there was lightning almost immediately after this happened

  • @djla2276
    @djla2276 Před 2 lety +18

    I was using a bandsaw while listening at the “DON’T LOOK IN THE MIRROR” part. I’m relieved to report that I still have all of my fingers.

  • @cashvendetta
    @cashvendetta Před rokem +228

    As someone that hears voices, hallucinates, etc. it’s insane how the seroquel made him experience a little bit of what it helps me for. And then the ambien made him draw like an insomniac. Wild how some drugs can have the complete opposite effect on some people just because of how our brains work

    • @Senjamin
      @Senjamin Před rokem +12

      Yep. I wish that there was a better way to be precise for what works for who. seroquel and lamictal gave me my life back but i know other people with bipolar who they screwed up. i hope in the future we find a way to make things more precise

    • @ButteredToast32
      @ButteredToast32 Před rokem +7

      I was once prescribed ambien for my insomnia. It would either knock me out or make me exhibit bizarre behavior I couldn’t remember later. My friend said he found me sitting in the corner of a dark bathroom laughing hysterically at nothing.

    • @kirstenmckelvey2637
      @kirstenmckelvey2637 Před rokem +3

      @@Senjamin luckily they can do tests on you to see if you’ll do poorly with certain medications! it’s not always completely accurate but gives you a baseline of what you should try

    • @cameronkrause4712
      @cameronkrause4712 Před rokem

      I find it hard to believe that he was getting that experience from Seroquel. If that's the case he's an idiot for taking it and his Dr. is an idiot for prescribing it.

    • @Trismegistus95
      @Trismegistus95 Před rokem +1

      The reason seraquel had that effect on him was because the previous day he did so many mushrooms and were still in his system somewhat causing a bad trip effect since seraquel is a downer, I’ve done psychs a bunch and had good and bad trips

  • @DeathMetalDerf
    @DeathMetalDerf Před 2 lety +342

    Being someone who has struggled with several mental health disorders over the past 25 years (bipolar disorder, PTSD, acute generalized anxiety disorder, and schizoaffective disorder just to name a few), and sticking myself in really dangerous situations with dangerous people I had no business being around and getting into heaps of trouble with, I get a very familiar vibe from a lot of the self portraits and other artwork. Unfortunately some of the best art comes from misery and pain and suffering. It's difficult not to feel for the artists, especially when I can see so much of my own experience within them. Thanks very much for sharing Bryan's work with us! Absolutely an interesting and very moving artist for sure.

    • @akiraasmr3002
      @akiraasmr3002 Před 2 lety +13

      I always get jealous about artists who can turn their pain into art while me I just wallow in my depression and unhealthy thoughts. I wish I could use it since I have alot but I feel useless as I can never do anything with it I just get sad and sometimes cry when my only friend stops talking to me for a while and I see ppl talking about how they turned their pain into art and im just asking how did they do it I want to find out so bad.

    • @muhklungky6855
      @muhklungky6855 Před rokem

      @@akiraasmr3002 get some fucking help.

    • @bungiecrimes7247
      @bungiecrimes7247 Před rokem +4

      Bruh unlocked all the debuffs wtf? 😂

    • @grifcheese1076
      @grifcheese1076 Před rokem

      @@bungiecrimes7247 I'm saying

    • @sharonkaczorowski8690
      @sharonkaczorowski8690 Před rokem +3

      @@akiraasmr3002 My dear, I feel your pain. I was abused as a child and suffered severe depression by age 8. I have been lucky enough to find a med which helps. I do write poetry, which can be helpful, but I’ve learned to focus on the small moments of beauty which appear in our lives, including the memory of such things. I’m not referring to art or nature specifically…though they help. I am also referring to the tiny things…the smell of baking bread, the softness of a baby’s skin, the joy in a dog’s play. When severely depressed it’s a struggle to see these things, but I try.

  • @sarahhurst140
    @sarahhurst140 Před 2 lety +104

    Bryan Lewis Saunders is from the generation of "latch key kids." I can relate. Such an introspective, yet generously inspirational artist! I'd not heard of him until this video, & now, I'll never forget him or his art!💜🌹🌍

    • @LadyAstarionAncunin
      @LadyAstarionAncunin Před 2 lety +9

      I actually said the same thing when watching earlier in the video, "latch-key kid." I wonder if the "bad people" were real people he repressed in his memory...

    • @anti-ethniccleansing465
      @anti-ethniccleansing465 Před rokem +6

      I was one too, but I just went home, watched Mtv, and ate _REALLY_ horrible food concoctions. Lol. I basically only had one close girl friend I hung out with all the time until I reached high school - her folks would take me to church group for kids every week, and let me hang out at their house a lot (her mom was a stay-at-home mom).
      My parents were lucky I was a good kid that didn’t get into any trouble, and that I was essentially getting watched by other adults for free a lot of the times without them even asking or caring (it’s safe to say that other adults were the ones parenting me, and guiding me to be a good kid). I’ve always thought my folks took that for granted, especially when they divorced and it was brutal. If I wasn’t fortunate enough to have that one good friend, and her caring parents and their caring church, I could have easily become so lost and a total mess.
      I really feel for Brian that he wasn’t able to maintain a single friendship when he was young. It would have been unbearably lonely without that precious one I had. It already was lonely on the days I didn’t see her after school.
      I remember her parents began getting genuinely worried about codependency. They had said something to my parents, wanting us to take a break from hanging out. My parents randomly asked me “What if she moved? What would you do? Are there no other kids you want to be friends with?” And instant panic set in - I responded “She’s moving??!! WHAT?! WHEN, WHERE?? SHE DIDN’T TELL ME!!” I didn’t understand what they were trying to tell me, and I didn’t comprehend what a hypothetical scenario was yet either. The more they talked, the more it felt like I had done something wrong to upset her/her parents, and I was so hurt and confused. That was a rough time, to not be allowed to see her after school for awhile, but Bryan went through that solitude most of his young childhood. : /
      My friend’s folks ended up pulling her from public school and putting her in private school for high school. That also panicked me a lot when it first happened, but it ended up being a good thing that forced me out of my comfort zone to make other friends. We still keep in touch once in a blue moon, but we grew very apart.
      Funny enough, both she and I were drawn to art at a young age, and both of us ended up earning an art degree. She teaches art to kids now, which I bet is helping many other Bryans out there by teaching them such a wonderful creative outlet.

    • @sarahhurst140
      @sarahhurst140 Před rokem +2

      @@anti-ethniccleansing465 Indeed! I really appreciate you sharing all of that, my friend! I can so relate! That's wassup!😎💜🌍

    • @ramblinrose8
      @ramblinrose8 Před rokem

      did "latch key kids" ever go away...lol!

    • @DrBitchcraft.
      @DrBitchcraft. Před 7 měsíci +1

      Im not from the US so this term was new to me. "a child who is at home without adult supervision for some part of the day, especially after school until a parent returns from work.". Very interesting that this is such a normal thing in my country, it doesn't have a name. Kids usually walk or take public transport alone to school and back here as early as 7 or 8.

  • @christianpresley8057
    @christianpresley8057 Před 2 lety +175

    Bryan is such an interesting artist, thank you for the full length documentary on him! I can't believe this is free.

  • @kierusekai
    @kierusekai Před 2 lety +120

    As an artist, I found this incredibly interesting and inspiring. That sounds empty, because honestly I have so many thoughts I want to record relating to his artistic practice and techniques that I want to explore, and just saying "interesting and inspiring" is not coming the slightest bit near to encapsulating what I was going through watching this. I don't personally have a very solid artistic practice, and seeing this made me want to try everything and be as experimental as possible (within reason, and I'm probably referring more to physical artistic techniques). The fact that he's making art every day is also very encouraging, and his pieces weren't necessarily painstaking or elaborate or planned out, they seem mainly made intuitively and on impulse, but also drawing on his visual and technical artistic language he's developed over the many years of making art. Okay, I've gotten to the point where this is getting long-winded and I'm starting to possibly sound like I'm being fake deep, I'm gonna go type up some thoughts on Saunders and his art somewhere else, a bit more privately, and delve a bit more into his artwork and that documentary. Thank you so much for this video!

    • @looplop
      @looplop Před rokem +4

      delve in

    • @user-xz2el2gm9y
      @user-xz2el2gm9y Před rokem +1

      inspiration is a lie. Art is created by work. Sometimes work can be fun. Sometimes its hard. Sometimes you dont want to do it. Sometimes its scary. The end result is you are better than you were before you did all that work and will continue to grow. Dont wait for inspiration because its a lie get to work and you will be set free.

  • @Gigabitties
    @Gigabitties Před rokem +25

    That “don’t look in the mirror” jump scare got me man 😭 I’m sitting on my bathroom counter air drying with my phone inches away from my face
    Edit: I just read the description now omg

  • @RalphSpoiledsport
    @RalphSpoiledsport Před 9 měsíci +4

    When we were in Art school together, I jokeed that my goal was to corner the self-portrait market. I see he took that idea and ran with it.

  • @lillithcooper3151
    @lillithcooper3151 Před 2 lety +12

    This dude is so cool in person. Never have I met someone cooler.

  • @zacharyjones8171
    @zacharyjones8171 Před rokem +45

    Bryan is an amazing artist and proud to say a good friend! So happy to see this documentary about my neighbor! 😁

  • @tatianamaldonado5624
    @tatianamaldonado5624 Před 2 lety +33

    I’ve been on seroquel before. A very poorly made decision on my former psychiatrist’s part in order to control my severe anxiety and irritability. It was absolutely terrible…zoning out, drooling, everything felt awful. I wouldn’t physically be able to move, and yet mentally i was still going a thousand miles a minute.

    • @resident-evil-jerma5389
      @resident-evil-jerma5389 Před rokem +9

      i don’t understand why seroquel is provided by so many psychiatrists. it was awful and i was only on 20 mgs. i was tired, so tired, and it felt like my limbs and spine were thawing from being frozen. i was on it for 4 months because they wouldn’t let me go off them but i stopped taking them after a little over a week. i was depressed still, so it didn’t even work.
      edit: it was my psychiatrists second pick and it should be prescribed to some people because it works for some people, it just shouldn’t be prescribed to some other people because of it won’t work for them. i shouldn’t have been given it with the meds i was on instead of switching to something completely new. but it does help people! i was being way too general because i let my emotions cloud my judgement

    • @Senjamin
      @Senjamin Před rokem +2

      @@resident-evil-jerma5389 the problem is it works for some people amazingly well. i can't function without it, seroquel changed my life for the better to where i was about to go on disability and now i own a business and work a full time day job. the problem with mental health meds is there needs to be a way to be more precise with who gets the meds. unfortunately everyone rn are the guinea pigs.
      and sorry for hopping on the comment on this way, i just wanted to say it did great for me because i worry people wont try stuff that could help them without seeing those with the positive experiences, because those who it does help don't talk about it as much as those who it hurt (which isnt to say that shouldnt come up, just that everyone should be able to talk abt their experiences ykno)

    • @resident-evil-jerma5389
      @resident-evil-jerma5389 Před rokem +1

      @@Senjamin gosh i phrased my old comment so backwards. seroquel was my psychiatrists second resort. i really don’t think it should be the first thing psychiatrists look to for things like depression. it should absolutely be used sometimes because it does work wonders for some people. i guess i was being overly cynical, im very glad it worked for you :) it just was a bad fit for me

    • @Senjamin
      @Senjamin Před rokem

      @@resident-evil-jerma5389 oh thats alright! i also didn't mean to try on jump on your personal story in a way thats stepping on or invalidate it. and i agree, i dont think its the best thing as one of the first tries for depression. in my case it was a bipolar disorder thing, i couldnt imagine using it as something for a unipolar issue as it is a bit, numbing so to speak? which is why i use it, since i need a tiny bit of numbing. i hope you're doing better now, either on a different med or without entirely!

    • @BlooftubeBloof
      @BlooftubeBloof Před rokem +1

      I was on it and I'm fine. Clearly the drug doesn't work for you and the doctor put wayyy too much of a higher dose. Anti psychotics should not be used for anxiety and he sounds like a quack. It's not the drugs fault.

  • @child.of.turmoil
    @child.of.turmoil Před 11 měsíci +10

    This is a video that I come back to often when I’m need of inspiration during art blocks.
    Thank you for making such an in depth documentary, Bryan is truly an intriguing and jarringly talented individual.

  • @imaspoon4522
    @imaspoon4522 Před 2 lety +20

    Don't try this at home indeed. I can't imagine. I don't want to. I'm glad he's been so physically and psychologically resilient so far though. Great video.

  • @terterpl
    @terterpl Před 2 lety +75

    The jumpscare halfway through the video scared the shit out of me. I know it's ment to simulate the experience of the artist but man..... what the fuck dude.

    • @aquafinabottle
      @aquafinabottle Před 2 lety +6

      yeah lol wasnt expecting that one. screwed me up for a second there

    • @noisegrit
      @noisegrit Před 2 lety +8

      dude after watching like 10 videos about disturbing stuff on the internet i thought this will be some educational video to get chilled out by but that exact moment 50:57 nearly made me sh*t bricks bcs im sitting right in front of two large studio monitors, at midnight, in absolute darkness - wtf

    • @BlindDweller
      @BlindDweller  Před 2 lety +31

      Yeah I do apologise profusely for that 😅 I guess after hours of editing I kind of desensitised to it and forgot other people will be less prepared! I've left a warning in the description, but I definitely need to be more careful next time!

    • @taylormorrison3858
      @taylormorrison3858 Před 2 lety +8

      @@BlindDweller nah, I liked it, imagine how terrifying it actually was during it, and many have similar terrifying experiences on these meds

    • @astragenastro6306
      @astragenastro6306 Před rokem +2

      Yeah, that was not cool :(

  • @sean..L
    @sean..L Před 2 lety +36

    Thanks for introducing me to his spoken word music. It is seriously one of the craziest, funniest and horrific things I have heard in a long time. I don't think anyone else has made an album so deranged yet so compelling. As someone who has a fascination with the darker side of the human experience it is electrifying and as someone who enjoys drawing creepy things it is inspiring in a manic sort of way.

  • @Schizonoise
    @Schizonoise Před 8 měsíci +4

    I haven't heard of him. That's a great idea, drawing yourself every day.

  • @minette6644
    @minette6644 Před rokem +32

    this has really inspired me to incorporate my experiences into my art more. ive always been too afraid to explore my traumas and mental health issues through art somehow

  • @DeadlyTsuki
    @DeadlyTsuki Před 2 lety +10

    Couple days ago I had a seizure and had to be taken off my antidepressants. I feel very debilitated and just gone. Thank you for this video

  • @annikaheydl7342
    @annikaheydl7342 Před 2 lety +62

    I feel like if he hadn’t found art, this would be a serial killer documentary

    • @ashleys9397
      @ashleys9397 Před 2 lety +13

      This is often particularly the case with the many serial killers who turn out to be talented artists or (at the very least) artistically inclined.

    • @exist4046
      @exist4046 Před rokem +29

      I feel like that's a tad bit far honestly, especially considering how genuine and cool he seems just as a dude. People can go through rough shit and have mental troubles without becoming serial killers you know, and besides that it's not even close to how serial killers are like. Abstract ideas does not equal psychopathic, cold killer.
      I know I'm jumping to some conclusions but I, as someone with mental disorders that I struggle with, deal with people acting like people like me are crazy or dangerous enough, to a point where even jokes make me feel uncomfortable toward the topic

    • @annikaheydl7342
      @annikaheydl7342 Před rokem

      @@exist4046 it’s not the fact that he has mental issues and comes from a bad home, it’s that and the fact that he had various incidents with the law and one day just shot a random woman.

    • @exist4046
      @exist4046 Před rokem +3

      @@annikaheydl7342 I do still feel like it's a odd assuming he would go down the route of being a serial killer. Emphasis on the serial killer part, btw. People can change even after they have a bunch of issues and run-ins with this sorta stuff, which he obvious seems to be trying to do. I dunno, I just think that people thinking someone who do a bunch of not good shit earlier on in life are probably gonna become something as awful as a serial killer is a bit too much of a leap, but that's just me

    • @annikaheydl7342
      @annikaheydl7342 Před rokem +3

      @@exist4046 that’s fair. I do think people who experience and in turn do fucked up shit can change, case in point is this guy. However that happened because he found something that helped him process his trauma and frustrations in a healthy way. I say this could’ve become a serial killer doc WITHOUT art. I am convinced that once people go down the road of hurting others to deal with their lives and aren’t helped, it does become a habit. Look at Bryan, he showed all of the risk factors for this kind of crime including an escalating pattern of violence towards random people who hadn’t wronged him at all. When the narrator talks about how he shot a woman, there’s no reason given. I think that’s what tipped me off, it’s one thing to be violent because you want to steal, and another to shoot a random person just because. Then it’s not about the need for the possessions, it’s about the pleasure of inflicting pain, something every serial killer, torturer, what have you experiences.

  • @Reddreambigfart
    @Reddreambigfart Před 9 měsíci +4

    I find it very interesting that in every deep hole he finds himself in, he maintains the self-awareness to realize "oh, this is very bizarre." as he's diving further down into it. It's that sort of open-minded approach to what he very easily recognizes as utter madness that I think makes his art so thoroughly fascinating to look at; he realizes the strangeness very well, and embraces it as a new method to exploring and understanding himself.

  • @Bonk_Bonk
    @Bonk_Bonk Před rokem +9

    It's kind of crazy to think that If he didn't find art he would either be dead or in prison. I wonder how many other people just didn't find the outlet like he did and payed the ultimate price.

  • @adamradef9241
    @adamradef9241 Před 2 lety +21

    Absolutely incredible. After seeing your announcement this was coming out last night, I spent the evening getting a taste of the life & style of Bryan Saunders; and what I had found left me growing even more eager for this release. This was a fantastic dissection of his life and work, and I find myself enthralled in the work he has created and his philosophy behind his creative process. Thank you so much for introducing me to his work, and for doing so in such an engaging and informative manner. Your epilogue was the perfect ribbon to tie everything together, and this has all left me feeling a renewed excitement and passion for exploring my personal artistic visions. Thank you!

  • @NoeHernandezPe767
    @NoeHernandezPe767 Před 2 lety +96

    I am bipolar and I take Seroquel, and it’s absolutely numbing, it drains all of the energy I have, it makes me anxious somehow. I absolutely relate to Bryan’s metaphor of the lion: the mind gets ahead of the body as the pill shuts you down

    • @lindboknifeandtool
      @lindboknifeandtool Před rokem +8

      I hope you can find a way to live without it. I’ve taken it for a period. I would fall asleep while sitting up

    • @ravelyv
      @ravelyv Před rokem +2

      Seroquel is like a zombie pill fr. Made me sluggish and also lose time randomly, most likely because of sleepiness. Like i’d be in class one second and at home the next, as if i had blacked out.

    • @lindboknifeandtool
      @lindboknifeandtool Před rokem

      @@ravelyv I was literally black smiting at my forge, and woke up on the ground with hot metal in my tongs.
      I could either stop forging or stop taking the medicine.

    • @RGPhotobiz
      @RGPhotobiz Před rokem +2

      Look into lamictol, it’s not a sedative, it has really helped my bpd recently

    • @Henningfest
      @Henningfest Před rokem +2

      I'm training for a marathon while eating 200mg of seroquel daily.
      Thats my Sisyphus task.

  • @hooksincluded
    @hooksincluded Před 2 lety +7

    This is one of the best videos I've found on Saunders . Thank you for the work you put into it. He's quite the fascinating artist.

  • @meowunicorn7658
    @meowunicorn7658 Před rokem +11

    This was put together so beautifully. Thanks for spreading awareness to this artist. His work is amazing and idk if I would have stumbled upon it without your video.

  • @inkynebula
    @inkynebula Před 2 lety +13

    I had a long comment in my mind ready to write down, but in the end you narrated and explored so deep into Brian's art and reflection of his psyche, that there is no need for more right now. His approach on art is so philosophical and amazing and the positive way he turned all this pain with creativity is something that gives me hope for me as well.
    Thank you for this video, it was really inspiring to see such experimentation with mediums, physical and mental states that are so different from each other!
    Keep up the good work, youtube is a great place with creators like you around.

  • @zacharyh6361
    @zacharyh6361 Před 2 lety +8

    Thank you so much for these videos. I'm learning so much about myself and what it means to be an artist from these. They're so well made, and so captivating to me, and the artists you choose are so interesting and unique. I'm so grateful you make these. Thanks!

  • @ashleys9397
    @ashleys9397 Před 2 lety +81

    I don't know what you might think of him (if anything), but have you ever considered doing a segment on the amazing outlier Lithuanian-French painter Chaim Soutine? I first happened across his startling oeuvre at around age 14; and he's consistently stuck with me in subsequent years as one of my favorite 20th century artists. Though he's usually been placed---almost by default, it often seems---in the company of the Expressionists, Soutine really remains unclassifiable. He was a thoroughly individualistic---one is nearly tempted to say "idiosyncratic"---and highly unconventional painter whose viscerally raw and untamed style has always resisted easy canonization. Symptomatic of unbridled delight in pigment and its application to the canvas surface---apart from any representational aims---the controlled fury of his paint manipulation endows even the most putrescent subjects, most notably the succession of rotting beef carcasses the artist liked to paint (in hommage to his hero Rembrandt) with a luminosity that's unepectedly transcendent. An equally ferocious line of assault infuses his many landscapes with a crackling wayward energy: trees, roads, hillsides, as well as houses and buildings, sway and weave and twist and writhe cataclysmically as though caught in the grip of some vertiginous seismic event. Yet at the very same time there's this rhythmical underpinning simultaneously pulling and holding the imagery in place, finally resolving the scene into a state of controlled chaos that plainly anticipates later Abstract Expressionism.
    If anything, Soutine's portraiture is even more jarringly subversive than his landscapes and still lifes. Always mindful of his own rural proletarian background he usually elected to portray his human subjects in the vocational and ceremonial dress associated with their social rank: religious vestments, a porter or bell boy's uniform, a chef's distinctive white toque, cap, and apron, and such like. Similarly, the much more well-off persons who also sat for Soutine---professional people, art collectors, society dames, and others---were usually garbed in the formal wear, suits, vests, waistcoats, gowns, frocks, and headwear indicative of their higher standing. In his figure paintings the artist balanced elements of the grotesque, almost to the point of mutilation, with authenticity of class or occupational function and, at times, abstract shapes of his own invention. Throughout these arresting images the act of painting itself---the painter was well known for working at an intensely focused breakneck speed---effectively subdued and then reconfigured the social reality of his models. The free elliptical shorthand of Soutine's impassioned brushwork creates, in a single dramatic phrase, a powerfully felt impression of pure life and vitality.
    In closing, I also have to add that Soutine was more than a bit of a weirdo. So he should fit quite comfortably into your format.

    • @raulr627
      @raulr627 Před 2 lety +2

      SOUTINE A GREAT ARTIST AND VERY HUMAN

    • @finalbreath15
      @finalbreath15 Před rokem +3

      This comment OP af.

    • @ashleys9397
      @ashleys9397 Před rokem

      @@finalbreath15 Could you please translate your reply for me? I'm sorry, but I'm still pretty unfamiliar with a lot of the messaging shortland. Thanks.

    • @adamlast6001
      @adamlast6001 Před rokem +3

      Why does this remind me of Patrick Bateman's "Huey Lewis and the News" speech from American Psycho lmaooo exact same energy

    • @ashleys9397
      @ashleys9397 Před rokem

      @@adamlast6001 Wow. You like that movie too?

  • @billyalarie929
    @billyalarie929 Před rokem +4

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT i first heard about this guy probably 10 years ago, never saw anything about him again, mentioned a description of what he does, once, to someone about 5~ years ago, and haven't thought about him since, BUT have been trying to think of this dude's name FOR THAT WHOLE TIME (10 YEARS!) and you just helped me find him!!
    thank you so much dude!!!

  • @MoishaAPD
    @MoishaAPD Před 10 měsíci +4

    I’ve been a big fan of Charnley’s self portrait series for a while, and it’s pretty amazing how similar this guy’s work is to his. Thank you for exposing me to this, it’s perfectly up my alley.

  • @IDEKaaaaaaaagh
    @IDEKaaaaaaaagh Před 2 lety +47

    I find it hard to find inspiration for art, and even harder still to experiment with colouring. I only draw digital now, and even before that I really struggled with colour and shading, etc. I wonder if just... letting loose will help and make me grow. I'm going to attempt this with a self portrait.
    This was an amazing vid. Thank you!

    • @danfontaine8179
      @danfontaine8179 Před 2 lety +7

      Try hallucinating it. You can like throw lines, shapes, colors around in a messy fashion and let your brain pull an image out of the relationships between your marks. You can even do realism this way. Your brain is powerful.

    • @LadyAstarionAncunin
      @LadyAstarionAncunin Před 2 lety +1

      My problem is staying dedicated to one medium. I must have change and options at all times or I'm easily bored, so I do everything. Paints, charcoal, graphite, pastels, ink, color pencils, acrylic/alcohol/oil markers, digital, etc. It's very typical of me, but I need to stop being a person of all trades so I can at least master one! 😅

    • @lindboknifeandtool
      @lindboknifeandtool Před rokem +3

      @@LadyAstarionAncunin use all mediums for one piece.

  • @mpeckmusic
    @mpeckmusic Před 2 lety +3

    Thank you for shedding light on Bryan’s artwork to the world.

  •  Před rokem +2

    Thank you so much for all the videos of artists that you have made for us. Your perception and empathy is a blessing. You are a great human spiritual and enlightened being. TY

  • @coffeefox2k
    @coffeefox2k Před 2 lety +6

    Saunders in an artist I found through circumstance and fell down the rabbit hole, so I knew you would do him justice. His whole life was a whirlwind of chaos that turned him into one of the most unique creators I have ever seen. The way he captures the feeling of temperature in particular really caught my eye. Wonderful video!!

  • @lilyroberts402
    @lilyroberts402 Před 2 lety +11

    A video from Blind Dweller that is an hour and a half?! YES PLEASE!

    • @kierusekai
      @kierusekai Před 2 lety +1

      oh my god, it really was that long, wasn't it?? I was so enthralled and the video was so well done that I didn't even notice

    • @barbh1
      @barbh1 Před 10 měsíci

      Definitely the best channel on CZcams.

  • @diaznuts5947
    @diaznuts5947 Před 2 lety +5

    What an amazing documentary, great as always!

  • @moth2542
    @moth2542 Před 2 lety +3

    This is an incredible documentary and such stunning, thought provoking art!! I absolutely love what Bryan has done and his complete dedication to this project! Can't wait to look deeper into all of his work ☺️

  • @bexmw
    @bexmw Před 2 lety +3

    I’ve always been fascinated by him. Thank you so much for doing this full length documentary when everyone else focuses on the drug pieces.

  • @johnmitchelljr
    @johnmitchelljr Před rokem +2

    Thank you very much. Best video I’ve seen in a long time. Your work is time well spent.

  • @ladyshackleford
    @ladyshackleford Před 2 lety +2

    I remember watching the documentary “Art of Darkness” during COVID and it was amazing. I’m glad you made a video about Bryan Lewis Saunders!

  • @qle6
    @qle6 Před 2 lety

    Your content just gets better and better and your philosophy on art an humanity more vital with every upload.
    I had never even heard of this artist. I count on you to unearth these exceptional and unusual creatives for me and you did NOT disappoint. This was so engrossing I watched it twice back to back. Well done and thanks so much!!

  • @iamnoimpact
    @iamnoimpact Před rokem +1

    One of my favorite spotlights you've done. I loved it!! Can't wait to check out that documentary!

  • @artinstitchtute9731
    @artinstitchtute9731 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you for sharing this video. I am always in search of good art content and finally I have found the kind of video that interests me! This was fascinating and though provoking. I appreciate the time and research you have put into telling Bryan Lewis Saunders' story.

  • @Mtv-get-off-thee-air
    @Mtv-get-off-thee-air Před rokem +2

    OMG I’ve always loved looking at these! Im glad someone made something about it!

  • @ceebee491
    @ceebee491 Před 2 lety +2

    This documentary has been put together brilliantly. This Artist is incredible

  • @kayhawkins8789
    @kayhawkins8789 Před 2 lety +5

    What a great documentary! I had seen his work done under the influence, but I had no idea about the depth of his other experiments. I can’t believe he survived all of that!

  • @zosoart
    @zosoart Před rokem +1

    I have been obsessed with this artist for a long time and still learned new things from your video! Thank you!!

  • @b-d3vil16
    @b-d3vil16 Před rokem +1

    This is by far the most interesting thing I’ve come across in quite a while, well done.

  • @PanosSG55
    @PanosSG55 Před 2 lety +3

    Thank you so much for making these videos and the effort you put in. Very fascinating.

  • @twiggysucks8468
    @twiggysucks8468 Před 2 lety +3

    SO EXCITED FOR THIS BEEN WAITING ON THIS VIDEO

  • @JansenVT
    @JansenVT Před rokem +1

    I have seen all of your videos and this one is my new favorite, by a large margin. Love it. amazing work, and amazing artist. thank you!

  • @tdjtdkckyd6692
    @tdjtdkckyd6692 Před 2 lety +1

    been waiting so long for another video i absolutely am obsessed ☺️☺️

  • @vishnurodondo4200
    @vishnurodondo4200 Před rokem

    Thank you so much my friend for your great work, This level of analysis is what I truly love

  • @alexrojas2686
    @alexrojas2686 Před 2 lety +54

    You always show me a lot of cool stuff I never would've found by myself I like seeing the different styles and feelings the art gives. Thank you for making such great content rs

  • @aroxify
    @aroxify Před 2 lety +13

    This is truly inspiring, I am amazed by the way people like Bryan can convert their daily lives into science expreriments and provide such profound insights into the human potential for self-awareness. I feel more of us should do so, its much better than going through a scientific paper for sure...

  • @chaparralchic4028
    @chaparralchic4028 Před 2 lety +1

    Fascinating work! Thanks for bringing these amazing artists to the platform. Your videos are easy and enjoyable to watch, no matter the artist presented. 👍

  • @albertobascunanaperez6151

    I just wanted to comment that since I discovered your videos I see it and I see it again a thousand times. I'm from Spain and my English is a bit bad, but I'm getting along with my ear and the subtitles of the video. but it is worth it, you are perhaps the deepest content author of these topics that I know. Your monograph on Francis Bacon was wonderful and I've seen this video twice now. I just wanted to say, thanks for what you do.
    PS: sorry if the text is misread, I used google translator.

  • @tomhancock8184
    @tomhancock8184 Před rokem +1

    A Long video but worth every second! Such a touching story of courage. I wish him the best.

  • @mr.nicekid3009
    @mr.nicekid3009 Před rokem +2

    Man this was so good this is one of the most interesting documentary in my opinion and has open a different perspective on art, as a beginning artist (having not as much skill) this has made me remember and realize that art isn’t just a pretty picture but can be a beautiful expression towards themes and experience thank you. PS: I love the closing message its true and is very well put!

  • @mintymemo6965
    @mintymemo6965 Před 11 měsíci

    This is definitely extremely inspiring for me and I couldn't have found this at a more integral time in my art journey. I really look up to him now thank you for making a video about him! :)

  • @l6214
    @l6214 Před rokem

    i love this artist so much im very happy you made this video! very well done.

  • @janeapproximately
    @janeapproximately Před rokem +1

    Fantastic video. You've done justice to Saunders' beautiful story. This was compelling, rewarding, and inspiring to watch.
    The colour experiment interested me most. Saunders felt on-edge during red month, red being the colour with the highest frequency. He felt tired and depleted during blue month, blue having a very low frequency.

  • @alisondelaney1069
    @alisondelaney1069 Před rokem +4

    Thank you so much. This truly was inspiring and I'm definitely going it to Brian lewis Saunders worm hole. Art totally transformed his life . Brian truly is a unique human being. Blind Deweller you are a gift

  • @amandajaynewoodhall
    @amandajaynewoodhall Před rokem +2

    This was such an amazing watch 🖤

  • @nabil-tz7ms
    @nabil-tz7ms Před 2 lety +3

    I love how he considers his body as nothing but a tool for creativity, but at the same time the pain he causes himself isn't free

  • @pleb1105
    @pleb1105 Před rokem

    I have loved his work for years but never knew about his life. Thank you for creating this video! Makes me appreciate his craft in a different way.. there will never be anything more silly than experiencing the computer duster one.

  • @evevespera9896
    @evevespera9896 Před 2 lety +36

    While I believe he definitely had other things going on, the way he describes his experience of life through his own presepective very much resonates for me as someone who is a untethered ball of adhd and autism.

  • @AvantHorizon
    @AvantHorizon Před 2 lety

    Another incredible artist and wonderful doc to share their work... Great job, so happy I found your channel!

  • @owendubs
    @owendubs Před 2 lety +5

    This was a treat to watch. To me there's something very fascinating and satisfying about imagining having a life with that kind of discipline and level of routine. The portraits have a really visceral way of seemingly making snapshots of a human soul as a kind of undulating and ever-shifting invisible entity. It makes me imagine some blueprint in our bodies being consulted in order to build a soul out of nearby materials on a daily basis in a similar way to how Bryan Lewis Saunders uses various mediums to craft self portraits every day. It's probably a little less existential to picture each expression as a unique exhaust as a result of a processing of available materials but I find the former concept very intriguing. I know I'm projecting my own introspections onto art that likely never intentionally raised my specific questions but I appreciate the presence of art like this for fueling and platforming compelling discourse within my mind. If there were a mold making my soul out of scraps before it quickly meets entropy and the cycle repeats then would I be the soul or would I be the mold? Are people the same person under the influence of intoxication?

  • @OccultDemonCassette
    @OccultDemonCassette Před rokem +5

    Bryan is such an awesome guy! I live in the same area and was able to catch a lot of his mid-2000s to early 2010s spoken word performances at the Hideaway in Johnson City, TN.

  • @cuiretvanille8426
    @cuiretvanille8426 Před rokem +1

    The Seroquel sketch and the sudden jump scare style editing frightening the hell out of me. Wasn't expecting that.

  • @michegre
    @michegre Před 2 lety +2

    This was fascinating! Thank you 👏🏻👏🏻

  • @Flytee83
    @Flytee83 Před rokem +1

    this was so fasinating. I'm going to continue going down the rabbit hole of Brtans work and this corner of the art world.

  • @mackabnormal8375
    @mackabnormal8375 Před rokem +2

    amazing, this guy might be my new favorite artist

  • @adrastos50
    @adrastos50 Před rokem +2

    Man I really hope this man can finds some sort of peace.

  • @north_star8
    @north_star8 Před 9 měsíci

    This is one of best videos I’ve watched on CZcams in years and I watch a lot. This was truly enjoyable. Thank you for exposing us to this artist ❤This man is truly a prodigy. He is an amazing alchemist and scientist of the human experience. Amazing work! The color challenge was so cool. Yellow made him optimistic, red made him rage and fearful & blue made him depressed and gloomy. Very in alignment with the studies of these colors. I love the psychological observation tied to his work.

  • @themightyboosh
    @themightyboosh Před rokem

    You are my new favorite content creator here on the toobz. Thank you so much for all the effort you put in to these videos.

  • @samschannel3817
    @samschannel3817 Před rokem

    Absolutely incredible video, you have outdone yourself once again

  • @boscorner
    @boscorner Před 2 lety +11

    There used to be a video that went along with his spoken word poem " Near death experience" and I cant find it. it was on vimeo or daily motion or something like that. extremely powerful and disturbing. The most intense thing you'll ever hear. Hearing that anger and agony and then hearing how extremely gentle he talks to people in interviews and such is so wild.

  • @the_birthday_skeleton
    @the_birthday_skeleton Před rokem +5

    Such a fascinating series!
    I find the colour yellow has always resonated with me on a very personal level, and Brian’s yellow month portraits an uncanny reflection of my own self; in the words of Dylan Thomas “altarwise by owl-light”.
    The blue month probably sapped Brian’s energy due to the light interfering with his circadian rhythm. Always best to avoid blue light around bedtime 🥱
    Fantastic body of work; both this documentary and Brian’s ongoing project.

  • @ululuskiappaski190
    @ululuskiappaski190 Před rokem +1

    Holy fricking cow so much inspiration! :D . Much love❤🖖🏿

  • @DarkwingSnark
    @DarkwingSnark Před rokem +7

    Weirdly enough, the thing I felt the most relatable was the constant need to draw even when hospitalized. Though my experience was from the physical-- chronic health issues-- I used to also make sure I had ways of creating close by. Because without it, you loose who you are and your way of communicating.
    I'm at the hour and eight minute mark, so still watching the video. But that was something that struck a cord in me. While I could relate to the stress of a chaotic upbringing and having my own childhood dramas, I mostly felt sympathy rather than making a connection to Saunders on the personal level. But THIS, the need of comfort of having that outlet? That got to me. It helped me find the connection that wasn't just pity towards seeing someone hurt themselves for artistic expression. Creating is like breathing, to not create is to feel a part of yourself being strangled. To leave you gasping for breath.
    Just interesting to find that connection, is all.

  • @Dowllrma
    @Dowllrma Před rokem +1

    i love your channel so much!! i always listen to your videos as I paint!

  • @veronice_ronnie
    @veronice_ronnie Před 11 měsíci +1

    When I watch the breake down of information about artists' lives from others,it always sounds so rushed and uncomplicated. But listening to how you do, it's just incredible. Beautiful. ❤

    • @BlindDweller
      @BlindDweller  Před 11 měsíci +1

      What a compliment! Thank you so much ❤️

  • @dolinaj1
    @dolinaj1 Před 2 lety +10

    Hi, Blind Dweller! Always anticipate a new release from you. You astonish with your easy command of subject matter. You are a gifted researcher, storyteller, editor and producer, with an original perspective - always worth the wait. Respect and gratitude from your biggest fan(atic) in Santa Fe, New Mexico USA.
    PS: Have you considered publishing a book of critical essays? I believe after you publish one such collection, you will be nominated for a MacArthur (genius) grant. D

  • @BoopMeHard
    @BoopMeHard Před rokem +1

    Fascinating man.
    I grew up in northern Virginia. Hadn’t heard of Bryan Lewis Saunders, but I’m glad I found this video!

  • @GarethAlan81
    @GarethAlan81 Před 2 lety +6

    I've been following Bryan for years. He's a real cool guy. Excellent documentary. 😎

  • @gloomjesussecretaccount
    @gloomjesussecretaccount Před rokem +5

    I’ve always been a fan of Bryan’s art ever since I got into art in middle school. Funny to find out that I grew up and still live in the same area as he did

  • @Cat-tastrophee
    @Cat-tastrophee Před 9 měsíci +5

    I'm not very far along, but I feel so bad for young Bryan. It seems like everyone in his life failed him. His acting out was clearly a product of his loneliness, ostracization, and an understimulating environment. I often wonder how people's lives would've turned out if they'd been given the love and attention they needed.

  • @shwing1428
    @shwing1428 Před měsícem

    Saw people talking about the jumpscare, still got me. Great video.

  • @eleanorsfate445
    @eleanorsfate445 Před rokem +6

    This is so incredible. I'm not usually an art-guy, but you are so amazing at analyzing and reading artpieces (as well as going the extra mile in your research) that it even keeps a dummy-philistine like me glued to the screen! Much love.

  • @rolandobenedusi5316
    @rolandobenedusi5316 Před 2 lety +11

    Such a huge researcher of the Self. What an Artist. Thanks for this material 🙏🏻

  • @HeyQuinton
    @HeyQuinton Před 2 lety +2

    Awesome video - grossly underrated channel!

  • @MariaLopez-tx3mj
    @MariaLopez-tx3mj Před rokem +1

    All I can say is WOW!
    I applaud you for this one 👏
    I truly enjoyed and appreciate your impeccable work in putting this together and sharing this with us. Never heard of this artist before but I'm so happy I turned in.
    Thank you so very much.
    I shared, liked and subscribed 😀

  • @lookin4answers
    @lookin4answers Před 6 měsíci

    As soon as you started discussing the idea of the color months, i was waiting for red... went about exactly the way i expected. Such an intense frequency to immerse yourself in.