Friendship Is Complicated - Autism & Me | Just A Skinny Boy
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- I probably don't know that we are/aren't friends. Hopefully this all makes sense...
Autism & Me playlist: bit.ly/29rNaEL
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I hung out with a girl everyday for a year and still wasn't sure if we were close friends. I get so confused with friendship.
I feel you
THIS
I admire the confidence this took for you to make and upload as i know how hard talking about this can be. I may not personally know you but I'm proud of you
I relate to this. I'm autistic, too.
I don't think this sounds weird. It is so relatable. Thanks for putting this out there, for putting yourself out there.
I've lost friends because of this too.
Oh my god. I lost so many friends because I thought we were more friends than we actually were. And overstepped their boundaries. I can so relate to you!
I’m neurotypical and my son is autistic. I think you did a great job expressing the challenges of friendship. I wish everyone could be more direct like you are. Life would be less complicated that way. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing how you feel.
I'm a seventeen autistic guy.
When I was a child my mom was trying to help me, because I cried for a long time, claiming that I had no friend.
At that time I couldn't talk to other people, I would just sit on her side and not talk to the other kids.
At school, my classmates didn't talk to me and I couldn't talk to them.
It felt like an invisible barrier between us.
Today I'm not so silent. Actually I use to talk a lot, but I've struggled with friendships even to this day.
For me the word "friend" causes me panic, fear, confusion, sadness.
It is related to frustration in my life: once I called people as friends, they went away from my life and hurt me.
Today I have a hard time figuring out what people mean to me and at the same time I wish I had someone to hang with, to talk.
Sometimes I wish I was not autistic, but my therapist told me to think about the positive aspect of it.
Now I think the positive aspect of autism is the autistic person behind it, because it is not our fault to struggle with communication, it is society's.
Because anyone can conect with an autistic person if they want to and work on it. Acceptance is necessary.
Now I'm working on relationships in my ocupational therapy and my therapist said I've made a good progress.
But I still have fears when it comes to call someone in my life as a friend. I fear that person goes away from my life and let me there alone again.
I am a so called neurotypical, I struggle with friendships too, maybe I expect everybody to be as caring and giving as myself. .
Now that is bravery
I've never found such a relatable video - I don't know how close some people consider me, or if they even consider me as a friend at all! It's reassuring to see that I'm not the only one, but I feel like bringing up my autism in a conversation might begin to break my friendship with some people, if they were friends with me in the first place.
Just know you're not alone. If you're going through something tough right now, just know it will get better. It always gets better :)
As somebody with High Functioning Autism, I too can struggle to understand where I truly stand with people, for example, I could think I'm really close friends with someone who seems really invested in being my friend, but then all of a sudden they stop talking to me, and I never understand why and this can really hurt. Thanks for sharing your story, I think you told it really well. 😊
i relate to this so much
I'm sorry you went through that. I think you should keep chasing your dreams, and never give in.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for making this video! I swear, it's almost as if you're reading a script that I wrote, you summed up my feelings, thoughts, and experiences THAT perfectly. Hang in there friend, and thanks again for making this
Wow you have put into words how I feel about everything having to do with friendships. Except I even have a problem allowing myself to admit that someone is my friend and open up to friendship because of the trauma of making wrong assumptions where I thought someone was my friend but they did not think of me as their friend
I was literally explaining this to someone a couple of hours ago. I tried to explain it as well as I could, but I felt like I came off confused or unsure what friendship even is. Trying to work out what level of friendship I have with people is really hard for me. I have no idea. I explained to him that I will stop in and see him, because I enjoy chatting to him; but I have no clue if I’m annoying and asked him to just tell me if I am.
I’m just glad I’m not alone with this. Last year I decided that no friends was easier for my life. However, I enjoy chatting to some people and enjoy their company. I don’t want to be everyone’s friend, but I actually do want someone who I can chat with and feel a sense of friendship.
I have similar issues (which I made a vlog about). I have a hard time reading if someone just wants to be acquaintances, a drinking buddy, or a BFF in the early stages of a friendship. And sometimes I'm not aware when I've overstepped a boundary. Or the expectations are comically mismatched, leading to awkward and painful outcomes for me. I'm an older aspie and s**t gets even more complicated because the expectation is that you're supposed to already have figured out social skills and be mature. But I still need the "can we be friends" convo children have on the schoolyard because I too need to know if the relationship is worth developing.
I feel you. For me, the people I consider as friends are the ones who make an effort to let me know I'm their friend, on a long term basis.
You were called on a video call a few days ago to help give a lecture or something to a bunch of teachers. One of them was my aunt and she helped me so much thanks to you. Thank you
That’s so awesome, thank you so much!!
I relate to this so much. Thank you for making this video, because this is especially relevant to my life this past year, and I really needed to hear someone say this.
I used to struggle with this a lot when I was younger. I think now that I'm in my 30's, I've just become less socially concerned about such things. I know it was very frustrating when I was younger. Also, people sometimes lose friendships by overstepping boundaries, even people not on the autism spectrum.
I so relate, and thank you for being strong enough to share this. It takes courage to be honest.
exact same. autistic too. i always have to hear my position to others explicitly, otherwise im so confused, overthinking...
You're just speaking everything out of my soul and I also was thinking about making a video like this (and I still am), but I didn't really knew how to explain it, I can tell you, you nailed it. Yes being autistic can be really hard and it is for most on this spectrum, but keep going! Well yeah to be honest, I'm also feeling like falling down at the moment, it's pretty frustrating, but I also will keep trying.
I know its not easy but, I hope you keep on making videos like these. It gives me and people the chance to learn more about autism!!! Thank you.
I m high functioning aspergers too and I realized after watching this video I lost friends for the very same reason
thanks for this :) i have an autistic friend and i was doing my reserch, but finding this i can understand why he constantly ask specialy about if i'm his friend.
Thank you ! I have my twins and they are under the spectrum they are five years old and you are their voice by now, one day they will tell me their feelings like you do (I hope), thank you again so much for helping me to understand. And you know what? just don't worry you are an amazing person. We ALL need to understand each other with or without spectrum and it's hard both ways.
As far as I know, I'm not autistic at all, but I think about this kind of thing all the time. I think part of it is probably just generally overthinking everything that I do, but I definitely relate to the whole thing of not quite knowing where you stand with people and not being able to tell how they think you should act with them or what you should talk to them about based on that. On another note, I think we're friends! At least, I hope we're kind of friends? Haha. I don't really know either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I can relate. Thank you for sharing. In my first year of high school, I followed this small group of people around at lunch time and for some reason assumed we were all friends. One day, one of them turned to me and said, "You know we aren't friends right?" He said that he was just joking after, but I knew that he was not and so I stopped hanging around them. For some reason I just had know idea at the time that I was just following them around because in my mind we were actually hanging out.
I watch my son struggle with exactly the hinge you are talking about every day. You make complete sense and I can’t wait to show my son you video because it will be of enormous help to him. You have great insight and you are going to do amazing things. Thank you.
Im so glad youre making these videos. I think you have accomplished so much. Im dating an aspergers person and Im learning so much about him through these videos you make. We have our problems like any other couples do but these videos have helped me a lot. THANK YOU..
Thank you for this making this video. It is something I can relate to through and through.
I am recently diagnosed AS and then dismissed. i have certainly struggled socially. I sold milk to a lady for quite a while. she moved away and returned to visit me at my house. I did not recognize her so I did not know she was the lady I used to sell milk too. I have no idea if she thought of me as a friend or what but I felt really bad after she left and someone told me who she was. I can't tell people apart some times and I can't remember names ever. it can be hard to negotiate so many times.
you are not alone thank you for sharing ♡♡♡
I get this with crushes and relationships
Thank you for sharing.
Having people like me and want to know me is the easy part since they love my openness honesty and direct humor. Most difficult for me is maintaining said friendship by being too sensitive moody, fliting off and keeping out of touch for no reason, refusing social invitations, sexual intrusions, not getting along with their friends, succumbing to my obsessions acting aloof reclusive..... sigh......the list goes on and people just don't seem to understand "Autistic types that feed off solitude" ~~~ One thing can be said about Aspergicans, high maintenance we are ~~~
Thank you so much for this video. You spoke my mind. Sorry you've lost friends along the way.
I feel like the main problem is really that people won't give you a chance. You are just the weird guy or the arrogant bitch. They talk to you, but it doesn't instantly click, so they will never talk to you again. They take no time to really get to know you, they don't give you a chance. I don't mean this as a criticism, but more as a description.
If someone were to give me a chance, I am sure that a great friendship could be built upon that. That happened before, and I still have a very good friend whose company I actually greatly enjoy (which is something I don't usually do). But other than that, I do not feel the need to actually be friends with people. It's an alien concept to me. I do not understand it, I can't relate to it, and it creeps me out. But there are people who I really like and to whom I show my affection.
#Same - Thanks for sharing this so that others can see themselves reflected.
Although I'm not on the spectrum and it's usually pretty easy for me to pick up on those kinds of vibes in social situations I can still relate to you. For me personally it's the definition of "friendship" because I think everybody thinks a little diffently about friendship. Although I'm in a very different situation I still wanted to tell you that you're definitely not alone. And also I think you explained it really well.
Thank You!
I feel the exact same way. I've lost friends because overstepping boundaries without even knowing it even though I meant no harm
Social cues have always been hard for Sean as well. He has had few friends and struggles to form friendships. Hopefully the process will grow easier for him with the years. May the same be true for you.
So interesting! Thank you so much for sharing this:)
I can find the things you describe hard to and I am not autistic my self but have amongst other things social anxiety. It was really nice to hear you talk about it. I am working in a workplace fore people whit both autism and other types. Sorry fore my English I am Swedish and dyslexic so I have it easier to talk English then wright it
We may have never met, but you are my friend. Don't be afraid to overstep this friendship, because, if you do, I'll understand and try to explain. After all, I am just like you...
P.S.: Do you still love your lips... 😉
Great explanation
You relate to me so much as I struggle with friendship as I have no friends which depresses me.
I've realised that when I try to engage an find out if someone is my friend, I can't deal with the expectations that brings up anyway. The idea of friendship is much more interesting than the reality. De facto friends that are only friends by the way that we are in the same class or something are enough. Once I realised I don't enjoy friendship that's that involved, except with my flatmates, I stopped being so hung up on how I couldn't tell if I was a person's friend or not.
Wow I relate to this a lot and it's the first time I hear someone speak of this matter. I had been diagnosed with social anxiety 4 years ago but haven't been in therapy since then. Is my social anxiety causing this or could it be something else I wonder...
I can relate to this so much.
I've always felt like this, I hardly ever know but unlike you, I tend to be distant and assume ppl think we're not close which is not good to have friends either
really appreciate this video ♡
Just gonna try and get used to being alone. Friendships are complicated. Lots of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and insecurities.
Thanks so much for sharing this, I relate to it a lot. I often wish that people had those green bars above their heads like in the sims so you could physically see what level of friendship you're at, it's just so confusing! Girls get really forward too if they decide you're their friend :P you think you're kind of getting on ok and then they just wander in and start talking to you while you're in the bathroom- like when did we discuss that this was ok?? :/ :P Anyway I just discovered your channel but your videos seem really good so far. It's really nice to find someone I can relate to. I was wondering, if it's not too much to ask, if you would mind checking out what I've done so far and giving me some feedback? I'm new to this and I'd really appreciate it :)
Your not alone
I struggle with knowing who my friend or isn’t my friend I struggle with boundaries sometimes I don’t wanna also overstep anything that I don’t wanna be clingy or like a push over
You are my friend (yeah, a person from internet that I don't really know, but kinda know for few years) :3
I struggle too.
I wish we could be friends.
Bro your definitely my friend and my idol
I just treat everyone like I've known them.( Not necessarily the best way of going about it) they end up looking at me like I'm either a jerk or the weird guy .
I have always wanted someone to say that. I do not have autism but I struggle with that every day.
I know its not related to the video,but I like the pictures on your wall. :) xxx
I understand this, I have Asperger's too
SAME
I fell the same.
Nice video, just reaffirmed why I occasionally spell it out to my best friend (who's and Aspie) what I am to him and what he is too me. So he understands our friendship and knows the boundaries. He hasn't said what you did in this video, but I could sense it in him that he was struggling to figure out what level of friendship we had. So occasionally I touch base with him so he understands.
You look like Tyler from 13 reasons why
❤️
Best friend
I laughed, I cried, I related. Thank you for sharing!!
Hi.
I'm behind on your videos! You're my friend (but also our family basically). Hope I'm the same :)
SAME