Lots of people talk about the physical abuse being bad, and yes it is bad .... it's terrible, awful..... But the emotional, psychological abuse over time CAN make you loose your mind and cause you to doubt yourself and drive a person to commit suicide. I take ALL OF THIS,. ... VERY SERIOUSLY!
Your so right. I've had both from two different men and I'd take a beating anyday over the hours of psychological abuse and degradation that brings. .... hes the one who drove me to attempt suicide multiple times
@@lillikat1502 I'll tell you truth. It's upsetting to see you say this. You must have been at an incredibly low point to even think that way. It just have been hard to get your mind thinking that tomorrow WILL BE A BETTER DAY, even if your not sure. You must be someone very strong to have gone through that and came out alive. I am so very impressed with YOUR strength, 2x over. I'm glad you didn't let them win. I hope that you will continue on your way up. -Because as they say, 🤔" success is the best form of revenge".😀 More power to ya!!!😀.💪🙏💓
@@lillikat1502 it's not worth losing your valuable life for Abusers. God WILL take care of them in His own way & Time. Trust God's Word. You ARE The Apple of God's eye. ❤
I have been an toxic relationship for a long time and no one believes me not even my family he is very controlling and emotionally and physically and mentally and verbally abusive towards me I am at my breaking point and he has thrown stuff at me
Abusive spouse: "If you would just keep your mouth shut, we would not have issues!" - What? A relationship is for communication. This shows how sick these guys are ...
Thanks for confirming what I've been going through Emotionally for 40 years. No Physical Abuse otherwise I would have been out long ago. Never knew about EMOTIONAL ABUSE. Praying to be TOTALLY Free soon once my Divorce is Finalized after many manipulations, but I'm trusting God in the process. Thank God for CREATING us with a GPS ( God Provided System) called gut feeling. I was led by it THROUGH The Holy Spirit 👃👐❤
I was with my abuser for 15 yrs. I finally got the strength to pack up our two boys who were also abused ( never physically) but emotionally and the mind games he would play the verbal vile stuff that would come out of his mouth, well 9 years later the three of us are truly happy and living life to the fullest, I have not dated in 9 yrs. I feel I would attract another abuser but at 60 yrs of age I don't need a or want a partner
I was told his rage was always my fault..every time I modified my behavior accordingly he would make another rule or change.I never made him happy.Blame,blame,blame.I was screamed at constantly,even if he woke up because he needed to pee,I would be woken by his screaming at me and calling me names because I woke him up.My stomach would literally drop when he walked in the door.He almost always would come home screaming about something.The hardest part is that everyone thought he was so great.He played the part so convincingly.Kept the yard and house so well,helped everyone..a great dad.I was seen as the problem.Poor him was always alone going to fundraisers,out with our friends etc.I was this horrible woman who did nothing,stayed in my room while he cleaned,payed all the bills,shopped etc.What nobody knew was if I did anything,cleaned,he would throw things at me because I missed something that triggered his rage...I stopped going around others because I would get attacked after because I said things and sounded foolish,raged at because I made people not like me.I wasn't allowed to go to any public events with him because I was such a whore that made other men look at me..that I deliberately embarrassed him...Living in a room and keeping as far away from his triggers was the only way I could cope.He controlled all finances,everything.I wasn't allowed friends or to drive.My anxiety was crippling.I was so afraid.He would threaten me about destroying my life if we broke up.It was my home and to break up with him I had to leave.He still stalks me periodically.I was unable to date for years after.I will never be the same.Getting help is not easy.Especially from friends and family because many of these abusers will then get revenge on anyone who helps.I pray for anyone who is currently going through the hell of an abusive relationship🙏🏻
Go Fake Yourself Wow, wow wow You are me I am shaking reading your story It triggered something on my soul Because I am looked at as worthless by people in his circle, they don’t know he doesn’t allowed me to move or to speak. I am not allowed to do anything. Help ... help ... help.
I am currently going through this right now been going through for 10 years I’ve tried to leave and every time I leave it just doesn’t work out I even tried to live on the streets so I didn’t have to be around my husband
I have been in a physically abusive marriage for over 15 years.....I was then in an EMOTIONALLY/PSYCOLOGICALY abusive realationship for over 2YEARS...JUST TWO...BEAT ME EVERY...SINGLE..DAY ..of my life BUT IT WOULD NEVER COMPARE TO WHAT BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED DID TO ME....(AND THIS IS AFTER BEING RAISED IN FOSTER CARE AND GOING THROUGH LOTS OF ROUGH SITUATIONS...And i thought of myself as SOOO TOUGH/STRONG before the 2nd relationship)...AND HE NEVER OUTRIGHT PUT ME DOWN...OUR REALATION WAS POLITENESS TO THE POINT OF MAKING A PERSON GAG...THATS WHY I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY OR JUST SEEING IT WRONG... A PERSON FINALLY USED THE WORD.."INSIDIOUS" AND A LIGHTBULB CAME ON BECAUSE I COULDN'T DESCRIBE THE SPIRIT OF IT ALL....EMOTIONAL/PSYCOLOGICAL ABUSE WILL/CAN KILL YOU....AND THE MURDERER DOESN'T HAVE TO LIFT A PINKIE...THEY WILL HAVE YOU WRITING THE NOTE AND PUTTING THE GUN TO YOUR OWN HEAD IN THE END.........(thats if you even have the energy left to even write a short "Goodbye" letter...you prob wont)......QUIT DOUBTING YOURSELF, QUIT GOOGLING SYMPYOMS/ACTIONS, QUIT ASKING RANDOM PEOPLE IF CERTAIN THINGS ARE NORMAL ECT, QUIT GOING ROUND AND ROUND....YOU...ARE..NOT...CRAZY.GET AWAY...CUT THEM OFF W NO CONTACT....GIVE YOURSELF PLEANTY OF TIME AFTERWARD.
My own guilt over justifying what my husband did has destroyed me. I was so manipulated into thinking what i thought or how i thought was wrong. I hate myself for things that happened that he should have been punished for. I am now my own abuser. I hate me. And i do not trust anyone. I do not feel worthy.
🛑 stop criticizing yourself! Become the person inside. You are the Advocate! The one with love, good understanding like hidden buried treasure use a different map and compass. You are going to find underneath all that garbage on top something inside really rare, beautiful and precious. 💎 💍 💎💐🌹🌷🌺 get rid of the piriot and keep the treasure
Thank you I just left a physically abusive boyfriend. I have guilt because he is diagnosed with Bipolar. He is going thru mania and refuses treatment at all cost. I finally stood up for myself and moved out of my apartment to make sure I can get away from him. I find myself crying. I need to get myself together and take care of myself. ❤ TY
Do not feel guilty you did the right thing your happiness is important ! Give your self time day by day ! You wrote this 6 months ago I hope you have had positive progress .
@Sandra909 it's when they don't or refuse to take their Bipolar medication. It's not an EASY space to be in. I would suggest going for Professional Counselling with a Therapist who understands Mental Illnesses. It's also good if people can educate themselves about the Disorders in order to understand the illness.
22 plus years here. You must be ready. I moved away five years ago but isolated and feared the final break. I have to do this for myself now. You now are the Advocate and God is your compass.
A lot of people don't understand about emotional and verbal abuse unless they have experienced it for themselves and there are people who are very abusive themselves and can't see for themselves just how sick they are and that they need help because they're abusive to their wives.
Abuse stories like these are helpful to understand how a woman can get tricked. You have to be eyes wide open and have some knowledge about this stuff. They need to be teaching young girls about their value, and how not to let anyone take that value from you. There needs to be teaching going on to young teenage boys about how to treat girls. These men had a very warped and twisted view of women. It didn't just happen one day, it took years of sickness to get there. The help needs to start when they are young. This nation needs to put God back in the home. If little boys knew the love of God, they would know to love a woman. It's complex, I know, but this is an absolute epidemic. I've been there, am in my 60's and happily single for the rest of my life.
So glad you have a healthier life. I think it is more complex than putting God in the home. There is a website dedicated to those who are very Godlyy and even use that to support their abuse. Abuse is abuse.
His angry or pouting responses put me in a place where I felt I needed permission to go and do something for myself, with friends and family. Very covert.
The second part with the 2 women, They are fully describing narcissists. That is full narcissistic abuse and gas lighting. They is how they draw you in. You are blown away by the romance and charisma, then they make you feel like you are unworthy to anyone else. The poor girl after so many years wants to confront him. This is the worst thing she could do. By confronting him it is a win for him. He will get fuel from knowing how he is still impacting her life! I hope she does not do it. And i hope he never sees this.
My daughter is in an abusive relationship. But refuses to see it. As she is 31 she tells me to butt out. At this point she will not talk to me because the last time he through her out the house we have told her he is not welcome by the family.
Karen Lind I hope your daughter is doing well. Unfortunately, we refuse to see what our parents tell us all along. I just had my blind fold taken off, after 13 years, 2 of which were married. My parents always told me he was emotionally abusive, but I always had excuses for his behavior. Fast forward to several cheating instances, him controlling my car, constantly “borrowing” money to pay his bills to the point that I’m in debt, me questioning my own reality, etc. I finally realized what they had been telling me all along. I’m 32 this year, and planning my exit, I hope your daughter realizes that love is not abusive. Sending love your way.
It's pretty hard finding little 12 year olds in the comment area of these videos. I just wanna share my story and I just wanna recieve some response on what I should do. I'm 11, turning 12 this year and I have experienced physical and emotional abuse for 11 years. Growing up as a child, I was always aware of what I was going through. I felt vulnerability all throughout the 11 years of my life. I had always kept quiet and never spoke to anybody about this problem. The real problem is that.. the abuser isn't my parents or anyone related to me.. it's my nanny, she has been working for my parents for 11 years. Since my parents are very big workaholics and are barely even home, she was always with me, and I guess she just took out all of her anger through hitting and reminding me how worthless I was. Until now, I am in 5th grade. I realized how vulnerable I acted all throughout the years. I spoke the problem to my best friend and she supported me all throughout. But as I was fighting it off, I seemed to be a little vulnerable as I start fighting off. Everything that I have experienced is just.. very hard to explain.... I just wanna tell anybody out there who experienced the same thing as I did, use your voice to speak out everything that you feel. You don't deserve to be treated that way.. you are a person, not just a ragdoll to play with.. they don't and will never know what you walk through everyday. But just remember that after every rain, there comes a beautiful shining rainbow.. and without the darkness.. there wouldn't be any stars.. be a star and shine out of the darkness.. be an inspiration to others.. you don't deserve to be treated that way.. I love you all strangers..
Report that to the authorities sweetie. I was abused as a child as well. I never told a soul and I am paying the price today. PLEASE report that nanny. If she did it to you, she will do it to someone else. Be strong love....I'm praying for you ❤️💕❤️🌹🌹🌹🙏🙏🙏
my dear you need help...i dont know how nice the people are in your scool or your neighbourhood....if i'm near i will help you, but i live in germany. so, 1st you need to be loud and give your self a voice. 2nd go to visit an advocat a Lawer....they can help you even if you dont have money. i dont trust the state and that's why i won't say, go to a teacher....if you have/know a teacher well go talk with this person, but only if YOU trust them....stay strong my dear....it happens all my childhood and now im an old lady....send you love and the power to handle it
My dear - you're full of shit. You are not 12, and in the 5th grade. Not only is your writing and vocabulary waaaaaayyyyyyy beyond that of a 5th grader, if you did possess this vocabulary and writing ability, no parents that could afford a nanny would have tolerated their daughter staying back twice, as a 12 year old isn't in the 5th grade - 7th grade is where you find a 12 year old. Quit trolling and find something useful to do.
i don't think for one minute that people in abusive relationships should ask themselves ' what is in me that attracted me into an abusive relationship'. Beating yourself further doesn't solve anything. People in abusive relationships obviously come into partnership unknowingly and unwittingly. It is purely accidental, and if it wasn't you, it would be anyone who in a relationship with this type of person, who later on the partnership showed their real selves to. Abusive people come on as fine people at the beginning.
@Dteamingbof Freedom I agree with you. Ignorance plays a Big role in some Abusive Relationships. Some Abusers' True Personalities ONLY come out once you've committed in some way or another. Each case /story is unique
Yes my ex abuser said I was the oxygen he breathed, without me he couldn’t live. This was when we were dating.. many red flags now I can see in hindsight.
I was in through ten months. I asked for help, everyone knew - my mother, uncle, brother and friends. No one would help me. He kept talking me into letting him stay. I got him out finally. I regret so much what my children endured.
This is a drop in the bucket of my childhood my mother was a bad parent and still pure evil to this day..she deserve to burn in hell. & some people don't deserve to bring kids into the world..Going to tell you some of what happened in my life as a child and I'm still effected by it today. We were homeless as a child do to poor choices the lady who birth me , she never showed love for her children. I've had a number of conversations/ disagreements with her about how she failed me as a child and her excuses are always telling me it's my fault. she's a very cold hearted monster, with no heart or soul whatsoever. I am the youngest born with SMA ( spinal muscular atrophy) She never been supportive in any situations. She had her older kids saying negative things making , one constantly calling me cripple on different occasions and the lady that birth me smirk as if it was funny. She never cared ever and I got a brother who suffer from autism, she never got him the help he needed. she beat and abused him a lot calling him names like crazy or profanity names very often. She should've given me & him up for adoption because from the age 8, I believe we became homeless hungry going from house to house then vacant apartment to vacant apartments in the projects. I remember she would ask people to borrow money when she had no income to pay it back, sometimes she borrow $15 , 10, or 5, whatever people could afford to give. I remember she were only able to borrow $5 this one time and she bought a pack of cigarettes that cost about $3.35 and this had to be around 1985. I remember asking her to buy some food and she said I am buying me some cigarette because if I buy food once the food gone then what. I said we can't eat cigarettes. she bought the cigarette, then she use the rest which was about $1.75 left to buy some penny candy. she said eat some candy to kill the hungry pain. My brother who suffer from autism , she beat on him a lot she handcuffed him to the chair with handcuffs that my dad son with his ex wife given her, he worked as a security at that time. she wouldn't get him on medication and when she did she trashed a lot of the medication saying she not giving him that. I went to school first grade and I missed 2nd 3rd and 4th grade do to her not being in her business like she should've. she point a finger at everyone but don't accept responsibility for her own action rite now today.I told her that a step brother molested me at age 5 and she said I didn't tell her and I said the other grown ups made me think it was my fault and she told me it's my fault for not telling her. She treat me so bad do to my disability and I'm the only one who try to help help but never again because she don't exist to me. when I did get in school in 5th grade I act out so badly do to what I was going through with and she sat around waiting on people to give. i Remember one of my step brother ask her to watch his sick child about age 3, he had brain tumors, she told me she whip him because he doing all that crying and he was to old to be in pampers. I told her he was sick she didn't care. She is pure evil. one of my other brothers gmjpin the gang living in the projects and he ask her to put him in a different school he was about 14, she said no because he shouldn't be hanging with gangs but that was all he knew because we grew up in that hood. He really had no choice but to join or get picked on but the school was a few blocks away in the rival gang turf. I told her that her old neighbor tried to molest me and I didn't tell her and I told her I shouldn't been outside 2 and 3 am and sleeping in vacant apartments just me in my autism bother most time because she wasn't there. she make up a million excuses. she told it's old stuff I'm bringing up and to get over it. she don't understand the scares are real deep and to make it worst she won't apologize she don't think she's wrong. I told her I was a 8 year old child staying in vacant apartments hungry many days.Has no soap no deodorant no nothing. this story so long so deep and it can go on forever. my dad had custody of him and his ex wife kids and he and they got beat and abused , one of his daughters told that our dad sisters would make them pull they panties down then sniff between they legs to see how they smelled and smirking making fun of and laughing. I plan to write a book and I wish it could be a movie bcuz the world definitely need to know.
I can not imagine the pain and anger that you went through growing up. Children have the right to have a happy childhood and it is the parents moral obligation to care and to protect them.. I am glad that you can, somehow, with the help of others to overcome your traumatic childhood. Best wishes to you.
He would road rage and scare the crap out of me as I was trapped in a vehicle with him, with no way out. But God FORBID I drove in any way that was semi aggressive and he'd FLIP out and say he had anxiety with my driving because I was a woman, women don't know how to drive 😡😤 Double standards.
My ex-husband separated me from family. Didn't allow me to drive "his car", that I helped pay for. Strangled me constantly. I did think him choking me was abuse, because he wasn't hitting me. Then he gave me a black eye and that's when I planned my escape. He was a real MONSTER!!
My mother pretended I didn’t tell her and also told me she didn’t believe me that it was like it was ! Despite the fact 6 years before I left I went to her in desperation with a fractured pelvis it was daily physical abuse at that stage and my go told me I needed to get out or he would end up killing me as he was constantly trying to strangle me. I was so broken at that stage after 11 yrs of emotional verbal physical sexual abuse that I just couldn’t do it on mi own. My mother at the time of me saying it too her said she was afraid of what the news would do to my father because of his health she didn’t think he would cope. So I stayed another 6 long years and finally left the day my father died. Later I discovered it was my mother was more afraid of what the neighbors new and thought of my marriage break up than she was for my safety or her grand children’s safety. I’d something happened and I’d tell her she would immediately change the topic. That was all just as painful as the abuse I got in the marriage! And then denying that I had ever told her or any memory of the conversation I had with her initially about it or her response was just like I was feeling it all over again. I did think at one stage I was never going to get out. I became very withdrawn and depressed and contemplated suicide numerous times a it seemed like the only choice. Once when he was trying to strangle me I remember hoping he would succeed and being disappointed when I was still alive 🙄! I then felt guilty because of the kids what would they do without me but often thought they would be better off if I wasn’t there.
I've been in 2 abusive relationships...I never left for good even after the first signs because I was in love and both men I was with agreed to get help. but they gave up to soon. After my first abuser I hoped I never have to go through a physical abusive relationship again...I'm usually single for years till I meet someone I fall in love...unfortunately here I am again trying to get over a man that beat me
Wow, I wish there had been something in the seventies. My father beat me for at least 10 min with a belt, buckle and all when I was 16. I couldn't sit for about three days. I had marks on my back, my arms, my face and mostly my legs and butt. Nobody in my family of seven came to me after to see if I was ok. No teachers did either. They must have seen the marks. My mother was smirking during the beating. It happened because I was doing my homework and my father told me I was wrong with one of my answers. So I got my text book to show him and when I got back with it, he was standing there belt in hand red in the face. He screamed at me to never correct him again, that the man is the head of the family and is not to be challenged or corrected. Especially,if he is a father.
He is a sick man. Most likely he was abused by his father. I'm sorry that happened to you. Remember always you did nothing wrong, he is or was a damaged unbalanced person himself.
I was on a dating site and I got chatting to who I thought was a nice man wrong in 3 weeks just chatting on whattsapp and facetiming he declared love to me we had not even met and wanted me to move in with him and he had 4 tantrums in that time because I questioned about something . Last night he sent me really explicit videos I said I didn't like it but he continued sending he drove me insane calling from 6 am in the morning demanding I talk to him I' hate him now for good blocked for good now im a nice lady but that's my downfall . No more dating sites for me I was really upset and he used to gaslight me into thinking I was crazy my best friend helped me have the courage to block him . Women and men be careful when searching for love on dating sites in my opinion they are dangerous . If I'd not listened to my friends advice I could easily have been in a abusive relationship . I recognize a lot of what the ladies say
Domestic violence also affects men as a result of an abusive father. Read the entire page at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abusive_power_and_control and almost all aspects applicable to a father abusing physically, emotionally, psychologically, his kids and wife took place. I'm currently researching how a former abuser continues to abuse from a distance by looking for and acquiring current life details, personal worries, goals, and ideas which the former victim is currently experiencing. Once these victim's details are acquired, the former abuser then has information from which to design the next abusive attack at the next opportune moment. The future "personal details" attack, builds upon the former abuser's knowledge of the victim which he abused, and seeks to exploit those "old paths of abuse" rip any healed wounds open, perhaps in an attempt to restore the level of abuse that was accomplished "before" the victim achieved distance from the abuse. So if you know of a documentary that deals with abuse by a father upon his kids, the traumatic affects it has on their emotional development, please link to it.
Even if they are telling you to get out and you finally start showing you're done, for me, I should have been more prepared. I was doing what he wanted, or so I thought, it went bad and then I was finally away, but he knew where and not long after, he started with that honeymoon phase but he'd crossed so far beyond what I could fathom, I want to believe and then I wouldn't, it was very hard. I kept a note in my pocket, a short list, so anytime my phone rang, I'd see it and not answer. Sometimes I would, but I felt like I was being played, so I stuck with that note. I remember many in the women's shelter that also would get calls, it's so hard, it really is, but that list I kept in my pocket with my phone helped. I remember first going there and seeing hangers for my clothes and dresser drawers. I'd been living out of boxes for nearly 4 1/2 years, rarely allowed to have my things in drawers or hung. Something as simple as that gave me a sense of dignity. It was tough, still is. I don't understand why the system requires us to leave the home, often with children. But, I'm glad I got out. I have moments, wondering what if he meant it, justifying the honeymoon attempts and then I look at the images, and remember that moment where he crossed the line when I was doing what he said he wanted, leaving, but he did THAT. I can never let that go, I couldn't let it go. I won't.
Men can be abused too. Even just today my wife became enraged because I didn't answer her phone when I was around the corner from home. I told her I was driving and the bluetooth was off. When I pulled up, she kicked the car door, then kicked me and kept screaming that I'm an f ing idiot, useless, loser etc. Even grabbed my jacket and pulled my hair. Almost daily now she calls me a sissy and says I'm like a woman. I have tried many times to tell her she loses control of herself when she is angry but she will not listen!
You need to leave or at least start documenting, recording, pictures, screenshot text messages. It is a lot harder to prove if you are a man. Had a male friend go through this. I'm so sorry. Wishing you courage and blessings. You deserve better.
OR...WHEN YOU DO ANYTHING ESPECIALLY WELL OR YOU DRESS UP JUST FOR THEM AND YOUR STANDING THERE LOOKING LIKE A COMPLETE KNOCKOUT.....THEY WILL IGNORE YOU OR PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING IS BUSINESS AS USUAL
horrible situations for sure. why why why do these abusers not have to wear an ankle bracelet when there's an order to stay away. it would be so simple to do that and then the cops would know where the person is at all time. instead of trying to find the person or when the person goes near their house.
Abusive people will only do what you allow them to get away with. If your personal self protection boundaries are weak then abusers will stamp all over them without a care. Good question to ask yourself : What is it about me that’s motivating me to allow someone to treat me unkindly?
knowing that one if my closest friends had been horribly abused made my blood boil. her story made me look at this video. it's inspiring that these women grow out of it and keep living there lives. one question, do women get mentally comfortable by getting abused therefore get attracted to assholes?
Orlando Landeros no they don't, they get tricked by the perpetrators. Yes they are perpetrators because they know what they are doing to their partners. They get power by abusing that's why they do it, they trick the women into thinking they are kind until they get in deep enough to actualize their plan of control.
@Orlano Landeros One can become used to the behaviour and learn ways to cope. In my case I wasn't Physically Abused, but mentally, but didn't know about Mental & Emotional Abuse or Narcissism. I was led by my gut feeling ( God Provided System -GPS) and after doing research o Divorcing my husband I learnt more about the relationship I was in. I can identify with so much if what these Victims share. For some abuse becomes the norm so the cycle gets repeated and people are ignorant. That's why we advocate against Abuse in All forms 👐👍❤
@ Frances Lockart - I agree absolutly, Christian religion does not view women as worthy beings. I left Catholic Church years ago, and it was one of the best choices of my life.
i'm so surprised there aren't more comments. btw, I know men who've been through this too. is there a possibility that you could do an episode about men who've been through abuse at the hands of men or women they were partners with? it's not just a women's issue..it's a human issue. and i think too many men go through this stuff too but can't speak up. I think it's time anyone who is abused speak up.
I agree, this is an issue that does not discriminate with gender. We are a women's organization and our mission is to allow a space for women to share their stories in hopes to help others. We cover a wide range of topics. Thank you for your comment.
Just stay single. I date. Don’t live with a man. Never will. Been there done that and i broke up with him due to financial and emotional abuse. I’m not risking putting myself through all that again
Alice Buchanan you should just leave him. I went through the same thing, they mess with your head over and over and its not healthy for your soul. you are worth so much don't let him disrespect you like that.
Yeah jail is much safer than being with a abusive person. Go to a shelter if you can it's better than sleeping with knives because you're afraid of what might happen.
As for my ex-sister Constance Cassidy doesn't want to put the men who physical and mental abused her in jail that's why they're still free. But she lashes out at family not at the ones who physically and mentally abused her. Because my ex-sister Constance Cassidy is just too scared to lash out at the men who physical and mental abused her.
These stories very disturbing, This was absolutely terrible and Very difficult to watch Men keep your cool, Men mind your temper, Men breathe, relax, and whatever you are upset about... it is simply not that serious, Men DONT hurt your Lady, Never beat up your Woman, Never beat up your wife, girlfriend, or any woman, that’s NOT is what being a man is. Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man.... Beating a woman is Not masculine Beating Women is NOT sexy Beating Women is NOT manly Using abuse, and force for sexual gratification, intimidation, by harmful behavior for sexual intimacy with someone doesn’t make a man, strong, tough, cool, or, manly. I believe in the Safety and Well-being Women, Children, and Men WOMEN Have the RIGHT to FEEL SAFE and BE SAFE This is a reply post regarding a article on Assault Against Woman: For what is statistically true, or accurate, and even what is not included statistically, and all other crime such as this is what is ( violence against women) Always unacceptable... Women have the Right to Feel SAFE and be Safe... No woman..., or person....child...should ever have to experience this kind heinous personal intrusion in their lifetime, this seems to be occurring at least according to news reports more, and all to often. Actually this activity should be in a stage, or state of Reversal, and NOT Increasing, I am continually upset as well as greatly disturbed in hearing such stories, as I have always have been... My Heart Always... goes out to any person which have experienced any such similar experience of intrusion, attacks, and, or invasion of their personal well-being... due violence, and or violent behavior, I will continue Praying for the Safety and Well-Being of Others... Keep everyone SAFE PLEASE BE SAFE Your Life is important Advocate of Humanity, Author, Writer, Poet, Safety Advocate Jason Sandifer, Michigan MESSAGE REPOSTED 10/30/2021
Go to a health clinic and ask for help. If there is a women’s shelter the clinic will help you get to it. They will help you to evaluate your situation and your needs. I know someone who said she was going for counselling so they could help her be a better wife.😅 They will accompany you to make a discreet plan and get a place to go and eventually go with you to get your stuff from home. Because you need to ghost, get safe, and later get stuff. It’s a good idea to keep some proof, photos, texts if you can, because it’s good for YOU to give yourself a reality check. It could help with legal recovery, too. Don’t keep proof at home, send it immediately to someone else you trust. Never threaten to leave. That gives them the power. My sister had terrible problems and it was hard for us to accept that she was abused because he was so nice to us.😢. We didn’t think she was lying, we just downplayed it, hoped things would get better...denial... she told me decades later that our denial was very painful to her.😢. However we did eventually help more and we love her and care about her and are close with her now.❤
Police need better training about abuse, they turn a blind eye to it. The seriousness of it is ignored and it makes me wonder if they themselves are abusers and therefore it’s easy to excuse the abusers,and blame the victim. Where do you go from there?
What?! I was whipped with a belt but never once had a bruise on me from it. Just red stripes that lasted about an hour. But BRUISES?!?!?! How hard is that monster hitting that child?!?!?
He also said he would kidnap me then he would say he's joking no he isn't plus he said he's a sweet man what that about a sweet man doesn't say that his behavior would show that and he blamed me if hw didn't go to work saying I did upset him thats why he feels like that omg what a fruitloop . I can't believe I was so naive
WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER HOW TO HEAL, BUT UNTIL THE ABUSERS ARE DEALT WITH THEIR ANGER, BEHAVIOR AND THEIR SICKNESS, THIS PROBLEM WIILL NOT GO AWAY. FOR EVERY WOMAN THAT GETS AWAY FROM AN ABUSER, THERE ARE 10 MORE NEEDY WOMEN WHO CAN TAKE THEIR PLACE. THIS PROBLEM EXISTS BECAUSE MEN ARE NOT BEING TOLD THAT THEY ARE SICK, MEKNTALLY UNBALANCED, AND NOT DEALING WITH THEIR OWN ISSUES. ABUSED WOMEN GO TO WOMEN'S SHELTERS TO HEAL THEIR WOUNDS THEN THEY RETURN TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY GOT ABUSED! AND AS A cHRISTIAN WE WERE ARE NOT JUST NICE FORGIVING AND KIND. TELL THE TRUTH! AND CHRISTIAN IS NOT SPELLED S-T-U=P-I=D!
Shelters offer counseling to men and women, maybe not all shelters but some do and it is very benificial to the people that will accept the help that is offered to them.
What do you do when your daughter excepts the abuse? Takes a beating time after time and will not listen to any bodies advice. Do you just have to set back and wait till she's ready? Now there is a baby involved. It breaks my heart to see that it took these women so long to break away. She lives out of state now which makes it worse. How can I help my little girl and my grandson?
Noah Stone nope, just be the evil scare the piece of crap needs to fear to get out of her life. And by that I mean do everything in your power to get authorities involved even if that means your daughter will block you. It's what you Can do and if it saves her and the kids from him she'll eventually come back to you.
Rent an appartment for her first, then round up some men, beat him up, pack her bags call the cops then have someone live in the new appartment with her. Block him everywhere.
yesss omg. my husband does things like that and when i have enough and want to leave you just sit and thing "over a glass of water?" its more how outsider will react and see you as the over dramatic one for leaving over something so 'small' but over time that drives you insane its ALL about power and control. my man will force me up early in the morning to feed him, even if he knows i got 2 hours of sleep, then when i finally get up he laughs and says no hes not hungry. shit like that messes with you, or make me this food, when i make it, he decides he changed his mind. and if you dont listen its 'youre a whore'
Vanity, honey you're better than that. Don't settle for less! Two things: You treat people how to treat you. If you keep taking the sh*t, he'll keep dishing it! & #2: I'd rather be happy by myself than feel alone & miserable with someone else. Good luck to you! Xoxo
Vanity my boyfriend is like this he calls me names and I tell him how much it upsets me and he doesn't change it and sometimes he says he'll stop but he hasn't I'm 7 months pregnant with his first child
@Vanity Totally unacceptable and Disrespectful. The BEHAVIOUR you get is the BEHAVIOUR You allow. Only You can set the Boundary and choose to stick to it or remain in an Abusive relationship. What are you teaching those around you by what you allow?
If you value your "personhood" ..... human dignity ..... respect ......???? ..... Sadly??? ....... Coupling??? ..... huggy ..... kissy ???? .... without an ..... emotional grounding ..... of maturity .... stability??? ........ principles??? .... is a tragic .... human joke! ..... It's no where near ..... a man .... boy????? .... emotionally ..... available to love .... & empower a woman to be better .... in life ...... within a healthy .... male .... female .... relationship! ......
Probably because she is nervous. It is difficult to share these stories and she is in front of a camera. We are so grateful that she was brave enough to share her story.
I have a couple of observations. These women have something more in common than abusive partners. They all sound alike; much like teenagers in their mode of speech. Their voices are diminished and immature, and they speak about the trauma of abuse with either sweet smiles or blank expressions. It makes me wonder if these traits are a product of their abuse or if they were brought up to be sweet and smiling, no matter what. Again, these are just observations, not judgments.
Lots of people talk about the physical abuse being bad, and yes it is bad .... it's terrible, awful..... But the emotional, psychological abuse over time CAN make you loose your mind and cause you to doubt yourself and drive a person to commit suicide. I take ALL OF THIS,. ... VERY SERIOUSLY!
Your so right. I've had both from two different men and I'd take a beating anyday over the hours of psychological abuse and degradation that brings. .... hes the one who drove me to attempt suicide multiple times
@@lillikat1502 I'll tell you truth. It's upsetting to see you say this. You must have been at an incredibly low point to even think that way. It just have been hard to get your mind thinking that tomorrow WILL BE A BETTER DAY, even if your not sure.
You must be someone very strong to have gone through that and came out alive. I am so very impressed with YOUR strength, 2x over. I'm glad you didn't let them win. I hope that you will continue on your way up. -Because as they say, 🤔" success is the best form of revenge".😀 More power to ya!!!😀.💪🙏💓
@@lillikat1502 it's not worth losing your valuable life for Abusers. God WILL take care of them in His own way & Time. Trust God's Word. You ARE The Apple of God's eye. ❤
@Penny Kent you right. This is serious stuff. Thanks to the vulnerable speaking out against Abuse. I salute them!
I have been an toxic relationship for a long time and no one believes me not even my family he is very controlling and emotionally and physically and mentally and verbally abusive towards me I am at my breaking point and he has thrown stuff at me
Abusive spouse: "If you would just keep your mouth shut, we would not have issues!" - What? A relationship is for communication. This shows how sick these guys are ...
That’s exactly what I’ve been going through
True
True bad for asking a normal question
This has brought me to tears. Reminds me of my now deceased ex-husband , God rest his soul, for me I am now free.
Thanks for confirming what I've been going through Emotionally for 40 years. No Physical Abuse otherwise I would have been out long ago. Never knew about EMOTIONAL ABUSE. Praying to be TOTALLY Free soon once my Divorce is Finalized after many manipulations, but I'm trusting God in the process. Thank God for CREATING us with a GPS ( God Provided System) called gut feeling. I was led by it THROUGH The Holy Spirit 👃👐❤
Best of luck xoxo
I was with my abuser for 15 yrs. I finally got the strength to pack up our two boys who were also abused ( never physically) but emotionally and the mind games he would play the verbal vile stuff that would come out of his mouth, well 9 years later the three of us are truly happy and living life to the fullest, I have not dated in 9 yrs. I feel I would attract another abuser but at 60 yrs of age I don't need a or want a partner
This is why I'm staying single forever. I'm not going to risk getting involved with some psycho.
After three abusive relationships I’ve been single for 25 yrs I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I totally agree with you. I feel the same.
I’m so sorry sweetie
I was told his rage was always my fault..every time I modified my behavior accordingly he would make another rule or change.I never made him happy.Blame,blame,blame.I was screamed at constantly,even if he woke up because he needed to pee,I would be woken by his screaming at me and calling me names because I woke him up.My stomach would literally drop when he walked in the door.He almost always would come home screaming about something.The hardest part is that everyone thought he was so great.He played the part so convincingly.Kept the yard and house so well,helped everyone..a great dad.I was seen as the problem.Poor him was always alone going to fundraisers,out with our friends etc.I was this horrible woman who did nothing,stayed in my room while he cleaned,payed all the bills,shopped etc.What nobody knew was if I did anything,cleaned,he would throw things at me because I missed something that triggered his rage...I stopped going around others because I would get attacked after because I said things and sounded foolish,raged at because I made people not like me.I wasn't allowed to go to any public events with him because I was such a whore that made other men look at me..that I deliberately embarrassed him...Living in a room and keeping as far away from his triggers was the only way I could cope.He controlled all finances,everything.I wasn't allowed friends or to drive.My anxiety was crippling.I was so afraid.He would threaten me about destroying my life if we broke up.It was my home and to break up with him I had to leave.He still stalks me periodically.I was unable to date for years after.I will never be the same.Getting help is not easy.Especially from friends and family because many of these abusers will then get revenge on anyone who helps.I pray for anyone who is currently going through the hell of an abusive relationship🙏🏻
Go Fake Yourself
So true xxxxxx 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
So sorry that you would enjoy this I feel your pain I hope you are doing well now
*Not enjoy! Endure. .
Sorry that you had to endure such horrible treatment. I hope you can on the road to recovery you can do this. Peace to you.
Go Fake Yourself
Wow, wow wow
You are me
I am shaking reading your story
It triggered something on my soul
Because I am looked at as worthless by people in his circle, they don’t know he doesn’t allowed me to move or to speak. I am not allowed to do anything.
Help ... help ... help.
I am currently going through this right now been going through for 10 years I’ve tried to leave and every time I leave it just doesn’t work out I even tried to live on the streets so I didn’t have to be around my husband
The mental and physical torture the abusers subjected these women to is intensely cruel. These are very brave ladies.
You did not come into this planet to live a life of being abused, you came here to live a life of FREEDOM
I have been in a physically abusive marriage for over 15 years.....I was then in an EMOTIONALLY/PSYCOLOGICALY abusive realationship for over 2YEARS...JUST TWO...BEAT ME EVERY...SINGLE..DAY ..of my life BUT IT WOULD NEVER COMPARE TO WHAT BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED DID TO ME....(AND THIS IS AFTER BEING RAISED IN FOSTER CARE AND GOING THROUGH LOTS OF ROUGH SITUATIONS...And i thought of myself as SOOO TOUGH/STRONG before the 2nd relationship)...AND HE NEVER OUTRIGHT PUT ME DOWN...OUR REALATION WAS POLITENESS TO THE POINT OF MAKING A PERSON GAG...THATS WHY I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY OR JUST SEEING IT WRONG... A PERSON FINALLY USED THE WORD.."INSIDIOUS" AND A LIGHTBULB CAME ON BECAUSE I COULDN'T DESCRIBE THE SPIRIT OF IT ALL....EMOTIONAL/PSYCOLOGICAL ABUSE WILL/CAN KILL YOU....AND THE MURDERER DOESN'T HAVE TO LIFT A PINKIE...THEY WILL HAVE YOU WRITING THE NOTE AND PUTTING THE GUN TO YOUR OWN HEAD IN THE END.........(thats if you even have the energy left to even write a short "Goodbye" letter...you prob wont)......QUIT DOUBTING YOURSELF, QUIT GOOGLING SYMPYOMS/ACTIONS, QUIT ASKING RANDOM PEOPLE IF CERTAIN THINGS ARE NORMAL ECT, QUIT GOING ROUND AND ROUND....YOU...ARE..NOT...CRAZY.GET AWAY...CUT THEM OFF W NO CONTACT....GIVE YOURSELF PLEANTY OF TIME AFTERWARD.
My own guilt over justifying what my husband did has destroyed me. I was so manipulated into thinking what i thought or how i thought was wrong. I hate myself for things that happened that he should have been punished for. I am now my own abuser. I hate me. And i do not trust anyone. I do not feel worthy.
Counseling really helps, it has helped me immensely. Stop hating yourself, please!!!
Don't let him win, You're worth it You are worthy of love You are worthy of be respected. DON'T LET HIM WIN!!
I'm where you are, and have been for years. I just can't forgive myself.
🛑 stop criticizing yourself! Become the person inside. You are the Advocate! The one with love, good understanding like hidden buried treasure use a different map and compass.
You are going to find underneath all that garbage on top something inside really rare, beautiful and precious. 💎 💍 💎💐🌹🌷🌺 get rid of the piriot and keep the treasure
Ladies don't ever give your power away to anyone!!❤️
Thanxs! I needed this
Thank you I just left a physically abusive boyfriend. I have guilt because he is diagnosed with Bipolar. He is going thru mania and refuses treatment at all cost. I finally stood up for myself and moved out of my apartment to make sure I can get away from him. I find myself crying. I need to get myself together and take care of myself. ❤ TY
Do not feel guilty you did the right thing your happiness is important ! Give your self time day by day !
You wrote this 6 months ago I hope you have had positive progress .
My husband also has Bipolar
I sure hope sandra909 that things are way better for you today
@Sandra909 it's when they don't or refuse to take their Bipolar medication. It's not an EASY space to be in. I would suggest going for Professional Counselling with a Therapist who understands Mental Illnesses. It's also good if people can educate themselves about the Disorders in order to understand the illness.
22 plus years here. You must be ready. I moved away five years ago but isolated and feared the final break. I have to do this for myself now. You now are the Advocate and God is your compass.
A lot of people don't understand about emotional and verbal abuse unless they have experienced it for themselves and there are people who are very abusive themselves and can't see for themselves just how sick they are and that they need help because they're abusive to their wives.
Abuse stories like these are helpful to understand how a woman can get tricked. You have to be eyes wide open and have some knowledge about this stuff. They need to be teaching young girls about their value, and how not to let anyone take that value from you. There needs to be teaching going on to young teenage boys about how to treat girls. These men had a very warped and twisted view of women. It didn't just happen one day, it took years of sickness to get there. The help needs to start when they are young. This nation needs to put God back in the home. If little boys knew the love of God, they would know to love a woman. It's complex, I know, but this is an absolute epidemic. I've been there, am in my 60's and happily single for the rest of my life.
So glad you have a healthier life. I think it is more complex than putting God in the home. There is a website dedicated to those who are very Godlyy and even use that to support their abuse. Abuse is abuse.
"shark cage training"
His angry or pouting responses put me in a place where I felt I needed permission to go and do something for myself, with friends and family.
Very covert.
The second part with the 2 women, They are fully describing narcissists. That is full narcissistic abuse and gas lighting. They is how they draw you in. You are blown away by the romance and charisma, then they make you feel like you are unworthy to anyone else. The poor girl after so many years wants to confront him. This is the worst thing she could do. By confronting him it is a win for him. He will get fuel from knowing how he is still impacting her life! I hope she does not do it. And i hope he never sees this.
My daughter is in an abusive relationship. But refuses to see it. As she is 31 she tells me to butt out. At this point she will not talk to me because the last time he through her out the house we have told her he is not welcome by the family.
Karen Lind I hope your daughter is doing well. Unfortunately, we refuse to see what our parents tell us all along. I just had my blind fold taken off, after 13 years, 2 of which were married. My parents always told me he was emotionally abusive, but I always had excuses for his behavior. Fast forward to several cheating instances, him controlling my car, constantly “borrowing” money to pay his bills to the point that I’m in debt, me questioning my own reality, etc. I finally realized what they had been telling me all along. I’m 32 this year, and planning my exit, I hope your daughter realizes that love is not abusive. Sending love your way.
oh wow karen lind it is a very hard place to be for your daughter, I do hope things are way better today and she is no longer with him
There's also financial abuse, spiritual abuse, neglecting as abuse, etc etc.
so glad I watched this!
It's pretty hard finding little 12 year olds in the comment area of these videos.
I just wanna share my story and I just wanna recieve some response on what I should do.
I'm 11, turning 12 this year and I have experienced physical and emotional abuse for 11 years.
Growing up as a child, I was always aware of what I was going through. I felt vulnerability all throughout the 11 years of my life. I had always kept quiet and never spoke to anybody about this problem.
The real problem is that.. the abuser isn't my parents or anyone related to me.. it's my nanny, she has been working for my parents for 11 years. Since my parents are very big workaholics and are barely even home, she was always with me, and I guess she just took out all of her anger through hitting and reminding me how worthless I was.
Until now, I am in 5th grade. I realized how vulnerable I acted all throughout the years. I spoke the problem to my best friend and she supported me all throughout. But as I was fighting it off, I seemed to be a little vulnerable as I start fighting off. Everything that I have experienced is just.. very hard to explain....
I just wanna tell anybody out there who experienced the same thing as I did, use your voice to speak out everything that you feel. You don't deserve to be treated that way.. you are a person, not just a ragdoll to play with.. they don't and will never know what you walk through everyday. But just remember that after every rain, there comes a beautiful shining rainbow.. and without the darkness.. there wouldn't be any stars.. be a star and shine out of the darkness.. be an inspiration to others.. you don't deserve to be treated that way.. I love you all strangers..
Report that to the authorities sweetie. I was abused as a child as well. I never told a soul and I am paying the price today. PLEASE report that nanny. If she did it to you, she will do it to someone else. Be strong love....I'm praying for you ❤️💕❤️🌹🌹🌹🙏🙏🙏
my dear you need help...i dont know how nice the people are in your scool or your neighbourhood....if i'm near i will help you, but i live in germany. so, 1st you need to be loud and give your self a voice. 2nd go to visit an advocat a Lawer....they can help you even if you dont have money. i dont trust the state and that's why i won't say, go to a teacher....if you have/know a teacher well go talk with this person, but only if YOU trust them....stay strong my dear....it happens all my childhood and now im an old lady....send you love and the power to handle it
My dear - you're full of shit. You are not 12, and in the 5th grade. Not only is your writing and vocabulary waaaaaayyyyyyy beyond that of a 5th grader, if you did possess this vocabulary and writing ability, no parents that could afford a nanny would have tolerated their daughter staying back twice, as a 12 year old isn't in the 5th grade - 7th grade is where you find a 12 year old. Quit trolling and find something useful to do.
The drink of water sounds like my feelings about fixing my husbands breakfast when he's not working
Thank you for making this video ❤️ hopefully MANY more women will leave their domestic abusers!!!
Thank you!
i don't think for one minute that people in abusive relationships should ask themselves ' what is in me that attracted me into an abusive relationship'. Beating yourself further doesn't solve anything. People in abusive relationships obviously come into partnership unknowingly and unwittingly. It is purely accidental, and if it wasn't you, it would be anyone who in a relationship with this type of person, who later on the partnership showed their real selves to. Abusive people come on as fine people at the beginning.
It's to stop it from happening again. You have to learn the red flags.
You are so right about that.
@Dteamingbof Freedom I agree with you. Ignorance plays a Big role in some Abusive Relationships. Some Abusers' True Personalities ONLY come out once you've committed in some way or another. Each case /story is unique
@Anon Anon Some choose to stay due to Co-dependency teaching others to repeat the cycle of Co-depency & Abuse
Yes my ex abuser said I was the oxygen he breathed, without me he couldn’t live. This was when we were dating.. many red flags now I can see in hindsight.
I was in through ten months. I asked for help, everyone knew - my mother, uncle, brother and friends. No one would help me. He kept talking me into letting him stay. I got him out finally. I regret so much what my children endured.
This is a drop in the bucket of my childhood my mother was a bad parent and still pure evil to this day..she deserve to burn in hell. & some people don't deserve to bring kids into the world..Going to tell you some of what happened in my life as a child and I'm still effected by it today. We were homeless as a child do to poor choices the lady who birth me , she never showed love for her children. I've had a number of conversations/ disagreements with her about how she failed me as a child and her excuses are always telling me it's my fault. she's a very cold hearted monster, with no heart or soul whatsoever. I am the youngest born with SMA ( spinal muscular atrophy) She never been supportive in any situations. She had her older kids saying negative things making , one constantly calling me cripple on different occasions and the lady that birth me smirk as if it was funny. She never cared ever and I got a brother who suffer from autism, she never got him the help he needed. she beat and abused him a lot calling him names like crazy or profanity names very often. She should've given me & him up for adoption because from the age 8, I believe we became homeless hungry going from house to house then vacant apartment to vacant apartments in the projects. I remember she would ask people to borrow money when she had no income to pay it back, sometimes she borrow $15 , 10, or 5, whatever people could afford to give. I remember she were only able to borrow $5 this one time and she bought a pack of cigarettes that cost about $3.35 and this had to be around 1985. I remember asking her to buy some food and she said I am buying me some cigarette because if I buy food once the food gone then what. I said we can't eat cigarettes. she bought the cigarette, then she use the rest which was about $1.75 left to buy some penny candy. she said eat some candy to kill the hungry pain. My brother who suffer from autism , she beat on him a lot she handcuffed him to the chair with handcuffs that my dad son with his ex wife given her, he worked as a security at that time. she wouldn't get him on medication and when she did she trashed a lot of the medication saying she not giving him that. I went to school first grade and I missed 2nd 3rd and 4th grade do to her not being in her business like she should've. she point a finger at everyone but don't accept responsibility for her own action rite now today.I told her that a step brother molested me at age 5 and she said I didn't tell her and I said the other grown ups made me think it was my fault and she told me it's my fault for not telling her. She treat me so bad do to my disability and I'm the only one who try to help help but never again because she don't exist to me. when I did get in school in 5th grade I act out so badly do to what I was going through with and she sat around waiting on people to give. i Remember one of my step brother ask her to watch his sick child about age 3, he had brain tumors, she told me she whip him because he doing all that crying and he was to old to be in pampers. I told her he was sick she didn't care. She is pure evil. one of my other brothers gmjpin the gang living in the projects and he ask her to put him in a different school he was about 14, she said no because he shouldn't be hanging with gangs but that was all he knew because we grew up in that hood. He really had no choice but to join or get picked on but the school was a few blocks away in the rival gang turf. I told her that her old neighbor tried to molest me and I didn't tell her and I told her I shouldn't been outside 2 and 3 am and sleeping in vacant apartments just me in my autism bother most time because she wasn't there. she make up a million excuses. she told it's old stuff I'm bringing up and to get over it. she don't understand the scares are real deep and to make it worst she won't apologize she don't think she's wrong. I told her I was a 8 year old child staying in vacant apartments hungry many days.Has no soap no deodorant no nothing. this story so long so deep and it can go on forever. my dad had custody of him and his ex wife kids and he and they got beat and abused , one of his daughters told that our dad sisters would make them pull they panties down then sniff between they legs to see how they smelled and smirking making fun of and laughing. I plan to write a book and I wish it could be a movie bcuz the world definitely need to know.
I can not imagine the pain and anger that you went through growing up. Children have the right to have a happy childhood and it is the parents moral obligation to care and to protect them.. I am glad that you can, somehow, with the help of others to overcome your traumatic childhood. Best wishes to you.
He would road rage and scare the crap out of me as I was trapped in a vehicle with him, with no way out. But God FORBID I drove in any way that was semi aggressive and he'd FLIP out and say he had anxiety with my driving because I was a woman, women don't know how to drive 😡😤 Double standards.
Thank you for telling your stories and being courageous and strong!
My ex-husband separated me from family. Didn't allow me to drive "his car", that I helped pay for. Strangled me constantly. I did think him choking me was abuse, because he wasn't hitting me. Then he gave me a black eye and that's when I planned my escape. He was a real MONSTER!!
My mother pretended I didn’t tell her and also told me she didn’t believe me that it was like it was ! Despite the fact 6 years before I left I went to her in desperation with a fractured pelvis it was daily physical abuse at that stage and my go told me I needed to get out or he would end up killing me as he was constantly trying to strangle me. I was so broken at that stage after 11 yrs of emotional verbal physical sexual abuse that I just couldn’t do it on mi own. My mother at the time of me saying it too her said she was afraid of what the news would do to my father because of his health she didn’t think he would cope. So I stayed another 6 long years and finally left the day my father died. Later I discovered it was my mother was more afraid of what the neighbors new and thought of my marriage break up than she was for my safety or her grand children’s safety. I’d something happened and I’d tell her she would immediately change the topic. That was all just as painful as the abuse I got in the marriage! And then denying that I had ever told her or any memory of the conversation I had with her initially about it or her response was just like I was feeling it all over again. I did think at one stage I was never going to get out. I became very withdrawn and depressed and contemplated suicide numerous times a it seemed like the only choice. Once when he was trying to strangle me I remember hoping he would succeed and being disappointed when I was still alive 🙄! I then felt guilty because of the kids what would they do without me but often thought they would be better off if I wasn’t there.
I’m so glad you survived.😢
I've been in 2 abusive relationships...I never left for good even after the first signs because I was in love and both men I was with agreed to get help. but they gave up to soon. After my first abuser I hoped I never have to go through a physical abusive relationship again...I'm usually single for years till I meet someone I fall in love...unfortunately here I am again trying to get over a man that beat me
I’m so glad you chose to open your mouth ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I really appreciate to hear this it very important to share
Thank you for telling your stories very brave ladies .
Thank you for talking about emotional violence...
Wow, I wish there had been something in the seventies. My father beat me for at least 10 min with a belt, buckle and all when I was 16. I couldn't sit for about three days. I had marks on my back, my arms, my face and mostly my legs and butt. Nobody in my family of seven came to me after to see if I was ok. No teachers did either. They must have seen the marks. My mother was smirking during the beating. It happened because I was doing my homework and my father told me I was wrong with one of my answers. So I got my text book to show him and when I got back with it, he was standing there belt in hand red in the face. He screamed at me to never correct him again, that the man is the head of the family and is not to be challenged or corrected. Especially,if he is a father.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you're on your way to recovery. Blessings to you.
What a small little tyrant. Smirk over his deathbed
Pretty, are your parents still alive?
He is a sick man. Most likely he was abused by his father. I'm sorry that happened to you. Remember always you did nothing wrong, he is or was a damaged unbalanced person himself.
Pretty little Penny how are you today and feel about it?
The lady with short brown hair is so so beautiful😊
Informative video
I was on a dating site and I got chatting to who I thought was a nice man wrong in 3 weeks just chatting on whattsapp and facetiming he declared love to me we had not even met and wanted me to move in with him and he had 4 tantrums in that time because I questioned about something . Last night he sent me really explicit videos I said I didn't like it but he continued sending he drove me insane calling from 6 am in the morning demanding I talk to him I' hate him now for good blocked for good now im a nice lady but that's my downfall . No more dating sites for me I was really upset and he used to gaslight me into thinking I was crazy my best friend helped me have the courage to block him . Women and men be careful when searching for love on dating sites in my opinion they are dangerous . If I'd not listened to my friends advice I could easily have been in a abusive relationship . I recognize a lot of what the ladies say
Domestic violence also affects men as a result of an abusive father. Read the entire page at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abusive_power_and_control and almost all aspects applicable to a father abusing physically, emotionally, psychologically, his kids and wife took place. I'm currently researching how a former abuser continues to abuse from a distance by looking for and acquiring current life details, personal worries, goals, and ideas which the former victim is currently experiencing. Once these victim's details are acquired, the former abuser then has information from which to design the next abusive attack at the next opportune moment.
The future "personal details" attack, builds upon the former abuser's knowledge of the victim which he abused, and seeks to exploit those "old paths of abuse" rip any healed wounds open, perhaps in an attempt to restore the level of abuse that was accomplished "before" the victim achieved distance from the abuse.
So if you know of a documentary that deals with abuse by a father upon his kids, the traumatic affects it has on their emotional development, please link to it.
Very touching
Even if they are telling you to get out and you finally start showing you're done, for me, I should have been more prepared. I was doing what he wanted, or so I thought, it went bad and then I was finally away, but he knew where and not long after, he started with that honeymoon phase but he'd crossed so far beyond what I could fathom, I want to believe and then I wouldn't, it was very hard. I kept a note in my pocket, a short list, so anytime my phone rang, I'd see it and not answer. Sometimes I would, but I felt like I was being played, so I stuck with that note. I remember many in the women's shelter that also would get calls, it's so hard, it really is, but that list I kept in my pocket with my phone helped. I remember first going there and seeing hangers for my clothes and dresser drawers. I'd been living out of boxes for nearly 4 1/2 years, rarely allowed to have my things in drawers or hung. Something as simple as that gave me a sense of dignity. It was tough, still is. I don't understand why the system requires us to leave the home, often with children. But, I'm glad I got out. I have moments, wondering what if he meant it, justifying the honeymoon attempts and then I look at the images, and remember that moment where he crossed the line when I was doing what he said he wanted, leaving, but he did THAT. I can never let that go, I couldn't let it go. I won't.
I'm glad you left him!!
Men can be abused too. Even just today my wife became enraged because I didn't answer her phone when I was around the corner from home. I told her I was driving and the bluetooth was off.
When I pulled up, she kicked the car door, then kicked me and kept screaming that I'm an f ing idiot, useless, loser etc. Even grabbed my jacket and pulled my hair.
Almost daily now she calls me a sissy and says I'm like a woman. I have tried many times to tell her she loses control of herself when she is angry but she will not listen!
You need to leave or at least start documenting, recording, pictures, screenshot text messages. It is a lot harder to prove if you are a man. Had a male friend go through this. I'm so sorry. Wishing you courage and blessings. You deserve better.
You deserve better!!!! Leave!!!
Matt, please tell me you've left her.
She needs some serious help and you need to get the hell away from her before she kills you!!
Leave now
OR...WHEN YOU DO ANYTHING ESPECIALLY WELL OR YOU DRESS UP JUST FOR THEM AND YOUR STANDING THERE LOOKING LIKE A COMPLETE KNOCKOUT.....THEY WILL IGNORE YOU OR PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING IS BUSINESS AS USUAL
THAT SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!!
horrible situations for sure. why why why do these abusers not have to wear an ankle bracelet when there's an order to stay away. it would be so simple to do that and then the cops would know where the person is at all time. instead of trying to find the person or when the person goes near their house.
Abusive people will only do what you allow them to get away with. If your personal self protection boundaries are weak then abusers will stamp all over them without a care. Good question to ask yourself : What is it about me that’s motivating me to allow someone to treat me unkindly?
knowing that one if my closest friends had been horribly abused made my blood boil. her story made me look at this video. it's inspiring that these women grow out of it and keep living there lives. one question, do women get mentally comfortable by getting abused therefore get attracted to assholes?
Orlando Landeros no they don't, they get tricked by the perpetrators. Yes they are perpetrators because they know what they are doing to their partners. They get power by abusing that's why they do it, they trick the women into thinking they are kind until they get in deep enough to actualize their plan of control.
@Orlano Landeros One can become used to the behaviour and learn ways to cope. In my case I wasn't Physically Abused, but mentally, but didn't know about Mental & Emotional Abuse or Narcissism. I was led by my gut feeling ( God Provided System -GPS) and after doing research o Divorcing my husband I learnt more about the relationship I was in. I can identify with so much if what these Victims share. For some abuse becomes the norm so the cycle gets repeated and people are ignorant. That's why we advocate against Abuse in All forms 👐👍❤
The church grooms women for submission.
Not for abuse or not to stay with violent and abusive relationships
The church is supposed to teach believers not to stay in abusive violent relationship
If that is your experience, I am sorry to hear that. Not all churches are that way.
@ Frances Lockart - I agree absolutly, Christian religion does not view women as worthy beings. I left Catholic Church years ago, and it was one of the best choices of my life.
Not all, society's has forever.
I’m so sorry ladies
i'm so surprised there aren't more comments. btw, I know men who've been through this too. is there a possibility that you could do an episode about men who've been through abuse at the hands of men or women they were partners with? it's not just a women's issue..it's a human issue. and i think too many men go through this stuff too but can't speak up. I think it's time anyone who is abused speak up.
+Tina Fisk I agree. I think it must be extra hard to talk about for men and part of that is because everything just focuses on female victims
I agree, this is an issue that does not discriminate with gender. We are a women's organization and our mission is to allow a space for women to share their stories in hopes to help others. We cover a wide range of topics. Thank you for your comment.
@@clementine676 More females are affected than men. Men CAN speak up. It's THEIR CHOICE. Possibly held back by shame and pride.
@D M Pain, hurt, betrayal, Abuse has no discrimination. It's how Victims handle their situations & issues.
STOP RAISING YOUR DAUGHTER IN WEAKNESS
AMEN! .....
Stop raising your son's to be crazy!
Just broke the last tie with my bio family toxic is toxic family or not
Thank you
Just stay single. I date. Don’t live with a man. Never will. Been there done that and i broke up with him due to financial and emotional abuse. I’m not risking putting myself through all that again
the funny thing is I would love to go to jail, just so I wouldn't deal with him 💔
Alice Buchanan you should just leave him. I went through the same thing, they mess with your head over and over and its not healthy for your soul. you are worth so much don't let him disrespect you like that.
Yeah jail is much safer than being with a abusive person. Go to a shelter if you can it's better than sleeping with knives because you're afraid of what might happen.
I Am A Vulnerable Disabled Adult Trapped In Protracted Abuse Hell.
As for my ex-sister Constance Cassidy doesn't want to put the men who physical and mental abused her in jail that's why they're still free. But she lashes out at family not at the ones who physically and mentally abused her. Because my ex-sister Constance Cassidy is just too scared to lash out at the men who physical and mental abused her.
These stories very disturbing,
This was absolutely terrible and Very difficult to watch
Men keep your cool,
Men mind your temper,
Men breathe, relax, and whatever you are upset about... it is simply not that serious,
Men DONT hurt your Lady,
Never beat up your Woman,
Never beat up your wife, girlfriend, or any woman, that’s NOT is what being a man is.
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough...
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong...
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool...
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man....
Beating a woman is Not masculine
Beating Women is NOT sexy
Beating Women is NOT manly
Using abuse, and force for sexual gratification, intimidation, by harmful behavior for sexual intimacy with someone doesn’t make a man, strong, tough, cool, or, manly.
I believe in the Safety and Well-being Women, Children, and Men
WOMEN Have the RIGHT to FEEL SAFE and BE SAFE
This is a reply post regarding a article on Assault Against Woman:
For what is statistically true, or accurate, and even what is not included statistically, and all other crime such as this is what is ( violence against women) Always unacceptable...
Women have the Right to Feel SAFE and be Safe...
No woman..., or person....child...should ever have to experience this kind heinous personal intrusion in their lifetime, this seems to be occurring at least according to news reports more, and all to often.
Actually this activity should be in a stage, or state of Reversal, and NOT Increasing, I am continually upset as well as greatly disturbed in hearing such stories, as I have always have been...
My Heart Always... goes out to any person which have experienced any such similar experience of intrusion, attacks, and, or invasion of their personal well-being... due violence, and or violent behavior,
I will continue Praying for the Safety and Well-Being of Others...
Keep everyone SAFE
PLEASE BE SAFE
Your Life is important
Advocate of Humanity, Author, Writer, Poet, Safety Advocate
Jason Sandifer,
Michigan
MESSAGE REPOSTED
10/30/2021
How can i leave an abusive relationship when my family doesn't believe me
Go to a health clinic and ask for help. If there is a women’s shelter the clinic will help you get to it. They will help you to evaluate your situation and your needs. I know someone who said she was going for counselling so they could help her be a better wife.😅
They will accompany you to make a discreet plan and get a place to go and eventually go with you to get your stuff from home. Because you need to ghost, get safe, and later get stuff.
It’s a good idea to keep some proof, photos, texts if you can, because it’s good for YOU to give yourself a reality check. It could help with legal recovery, too. Don’t keep proof at home, send it immediately to someone else you trust. Never threaten to leave. That gives them the power.
My sister had terrible problems and it was hard for us to accept that she was abused because he was so nice to us.😢. We didn’t think she was lying, we just downplayed it, hoped things would get better...denial... she told me decades later that our denial was very painful to her.😢. However we did eventually help more and we love her and care about her and are close with her now.❤
Police need better training about abuse, they turn a blind eye to it. The seriousness of it is ignored and it makes me wonder if they themselves are abusers and therefore it’s easy to excuse the abusers,and blame the victim. Where do you go from there?
What?! I was whipped with a belt but never once had a bruise on me from it. Just red stripes that lasted about an hour.
But BRUISES?!?!?! How hard is that monster hitting that child?!?!?
Karma is a bitch, what goes round comes round,just remember it will come back to the abuser, in one form or another.
dont try sortit just run and keep running
Weird, unbelievably weird.
He also said he would kidnap me then he would say he's joking no he isn't plus he said he's a sweet man what that about a sweet man doesn't say that his behavior would show that and he blamed me if hw didn't go to work saying I did upset him thats why he feels like that omg what a fruitloop . I can't believe I was so naive
WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER HOW TO HEAL, BUT UNTIL THE ABUSERS ARE DEALT WITH THEIR ANGER, BEHAVIOR AND THEIR SICKNESS, THIS PROBLEM WIILL NOT GO AWAY. FOR EVERY WOMAN THAT GETS AWAY FROM AN ABUSER, THERE ARE 10 MORE NEEDY WOMEN WHO CAN TAKE THEIR PLACE. THIS PROBLEM EXISTS BECAUSE MEN ARE NOT BEING TOLD THAT THEY ARE SICK, MEKNTALLY UNBALANCED, AND NOT DEALING WITH THEIR OWN ISSUES. ABUSED WOMEN GO TO WOMEN'S SHELTERS TO HEAL THEIR WOUNDS THEN THEY RETURN TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY GOT ABUSED! AND AS A cHRISTIAN WE WERE ARE NOT JUST NICE FORGIVING AND KIND. TELL THE TRUTH! AND CHRISTIAN IS NOT SPELLED S-T-U=P-I=D!
Shelters offer counseling to men and women, maybe not all shelters but some do and it is very benificial to the people that will accept the help that is offered to them.
What do you do when your daughter excepts the abuse? Takes a beating time after time and will not listen to any bodies advice. Do you just have to set back and wait till she's ready? Now there is a baby involved. It breaks my heart to see that it took these women so long to break away. She lives out of state now which makes it worse. How can I help my little girl and my grandson?
Noah Stone Im sorry but maybe educate her on how it can get deadly.
Noah Stone nope, just be the evil scare the piece of crap needs to fear to get out of her life. And by that I mean do everything in your power to get authorities involved even if that means your daughter will block you. It's what you Can do and if it saves her and the kids from him she'll eventually come back to you.
Rent an appartment for her first, then round up some men, beat him up, pack her bags call the cops then have someone live in the new appartment with her. Block him everywhere.
12:45 she could have gone to another deputy or call the cops.
yesss omg. my husband does things like that and when i have enough and want to leave you just sit and thing "over a glass of water?" its more how outsider will react and see you as the over dramatic one for leaving over something so 'small' but over time that drives you insane its ALL about power and control. my man will force me up early in the morning to feed him, even if he knows i got 2 hours of sleep, then when i finally get up he laughs and says no hes not hungry. shit like that messes with you, or make me this food, when i make it, he decides he changed his mind. and if you dont listen its 'youre a whore'
Vanity, honey you're better than that. Don't settle for less! Two things: You treat people how to treat you. If you keep taking the sh*t, he'll keep dishing it! & #2: I'd rather be happy by myself than feel alone & miserable with someone else. Good luck to you! Xoxo
Vanity my boyfriend is like this he calls me names and I tell him how much it upsets me and he doesn't change it and sometimes he says he'll stop but he hasn't I'm 7 months pregnant with his first child
@Vanity Totally unacceptable and Disrespectful. The BEHAVIOUR you get is the BEHAVIOUR You allow. Only You can set the Boundary and choose to stick to it or remain in an Abusive relationship. What are you teaching those around you by what you allow?
@@hime9513 @Hi Me has he stopped coz a Leopard's spits don't change
35 yrs of hell.
You were the answers to his prayers - you put up with his shit.
If you value your "personhood" ..... human dignity ..... respect ......????
..... Sadly??? ....... Coupling??? ..... huggy ..... kissy ???? .... without an .....
emotional grounding ..... of maturity .... stability??? ........ principles??? ....
is a tragic .... human joke! ..... It's no where near ..... a man .... boy????? ....
emotionally ..... available to love .... & empower a woman to be better .... in
life ...... within a healthy .... male .... female .... relationship! ......
Bfs freind talked bad about his gf so when she complained said was not nice the bf then hit the gf for speaking about his freind
Go get me a drink ~ drink this - go get fucked! Y’all need to stand up for ya’selves
Why does Kelly constantly smile and grin while talking about these things?
Probably because she is nervous. It is difficult to share these stories and she is in front of a camera. We are so grateful that she was brave enough to share her story.
Search 'national crisis line' or look it up and have a chat, text and make a plan, seek support.
Who can I tell? I have no one to tell.
endlessummer Me to 10 years of pure hell
Taniamariano99@gmail.con
You can tell JESUS...HE IS WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU....ASK HIM TO GET YOU OUT...HEXWILL DO IT....YOUVE GOT TO BELIEVE!!!
@@nono5852 Don't give people useless stupid advice. It's very dangerous. Stop doing it.
Contact your local DV shelter/hotline.
I have a couple of observations. These women have something more in common than abusive partners. They all sound alike; much like teenagers in their mode of speech. Their voices are diminished and immature, and they speak about the trauma of abuse with either sweet smiles or blank expressions. It makes me wonder if these traits are a product of their abuse or if they were brought up to be sweet and smiling, no matter what. Again, these are just observations, not judgments.
I dont want to hear the narrated, i stopped watching
@Filuz Williams What are You afraid of? I hope you not in DENIAL my friend ❤
@@janemuller2066 you got that wrong dearie, i was bored full stop!
@@filizhunters4452 i assume your boredom stems from not having any personal experience in line with this. Each one to their own hey.
@@janemuller2066 quite the contrary, did not want to waste my time, but thanks for asking xx
@@janemuller2066 Ps its said, "each to their own"..... 🤣
"WE told their stories very clearly"? How about "they" tell THEIR stories without you interrupting so much?
i like the big chick