It was very painful and valuable lesson for me. Now if someone is starting to play push-pull game with me - I immediately remove them from my life, without questions, without any emotions. Thank you for your work! I love your videos. Very helpful and deep. Happy Holidays!
@BJBlaskovichGaming thanks mate, for God's sake don't ever do what I did! I can't believe I'm still alive, I lost everything including my kids. These people are scum and would have been quite happy to see me top myself! Some fricking wicked people about.
At 51 yes old never married. I fell for a 23 yr old narc. I had not even heard of this disorder. Now I'm filing for divorce and he has moved on to his new supply. And I left him in shock when I showed him I had EVERYTHING DOCUMENTED . 😅
Once I started mirroring his silent treatments his distance,abuse, disregard escalated. He brutally discarded me last month. Radio silence from both of us two weeks after his discard. Third week he blocked me EVERYWHERE. Think I did a blow to his ego. Wouldn’t wish a narc to anyone! They’re the worst type of living being to experience!
Exact same experience! I got blocked on 8th Jan after I mirrored him and ignored him. He is now with someone else. That’s someone else was always there
keep radio silence. Dont be bothered whether he blocked you or not. Dont look back. Get loose of all emotional bondings though i know it is very painful. You need to be very courageous. Do beleive in your own self. God bless you.
I am experiencing exactly how you are. It’s been three weeks now. He did the finally discard. And I felt it coming. I’ve studied narcissism and all the traits for the last 10 months. He’s a covert. And the mental abuse he did on me was so horrible. All I can say is on a good note. The trash took itself out. 🎉
My ex NARC moved on immediately with someone else and she moved in. He betrayed me and lied unbelievably… worst part is he’s my neighbor 2 houses away… I bought a brand new white Dodge Ram truck. In February. I love it. Well, guess what??? He recently bought a new white truck … looks like mine. Games???? Not a coincidence in my book. Also, this new person isn’t always there and I’m not jealous of her at all. She’s a complete downgrade. Ewww
The most destructive and foundational to other Commandments, is the 10th one: The envy of yearning for that which others have; wanting whatever is not rightfully yours, but which instead has to be slyly obtained through bribing, manipulation, stealing... At the root lie discontentment and pride: Unthankfulness and the deception of believing that one deserves something else and more; especially being valued as most important and being the centre of attention.
Narcissists love the thrill of the chase and once they catch you they lose interest in you very fast. Narcissists love a challenge so give them what they want go no contact forever. If you can't leave or get them out of your life straight away perfect the grey rock method.
@@sbksubhash Narcissist's feed off your emotional energy so if you become more quiet around them a little more bland you will be less interesting to them, they can't extract as much narc supply out of you then. It's not for everyone and it depends on what you want to achieve, if they leave you alone a bit more it will bring a bit more peace into your life. When you engage in a conversation with a narcissist it quite often ends up in a war of words.
Facts! Thats what mine did, discarded me after 2 years like I was nothing. When she (the bee supply that Im pretty sure he had found before we even broke up) discarded him after just a few short weeks he was right back to trying to hoover me. This time i saw him for what he was; pathetic. They do NOT care about people, just their own selfish needs.
I matched my ex wife’s disrespect.. And she wanted to get away from me as quickly as possible.. And hasn’t reached out to me at all since.. It hurt at first, but day by day I care less and less
Narcissists have always lost with me. I pin them in 5 minutes and I turn the poison back at them I always have the last laugh and they end up destroyed by me. Their super weak, predictable, and superficial and not at all interesting
@@cuspryd3r My situation is kinda worst. It’s been 8 months my ex narc broke up w me. I was in no contact period till sep and then suddenly he showed up to me like everything’s normal and started saying that he never broke up w me. It was all a misunderstanding that he broke up w me. And i was like wtf! Then he started calling me texting me from different nos. But still I didn’t accept him. And i now to the core of my mind and heart that he’s the most dirtiest person I’ve ever met in my life a devil i guess in the form of a human being. But now, i call him once a month even after knowing that he’s a piece of shit and he first talks nicely but then after 2 min shows a lot of ego and attitude. Then blocks me on calls and then after a day unblocks me. Idk what does he want from me. And even if he blocks me he only blocks me on calls and leaves in anxiety. I have no idea how to break this trauma bond also i am taking therapy but it’s not working i guess that’s why i keep going back to him 😭
After the initial lovebomb and then we got together. After that he disappeared for 3 days. He’d never done that before. I didn’t know what he was then. However I didn’t reach out to him. He came back and I accepted it without question. Massive red flag and the start of the intermittent reinforcement. Later he did it all the time and I mirrored and matched his behaviour every time. I never reached out. But I was actually desperate for him to message me although I never told him that. He knew. In the end I discarded him. I am never going back and playing his games ever again. He broke me. But I’m rebuilding me. Loving myself for the first time in a long time. Learnt a lot of lessons. He totally took me for granted and in the end he totally under estimated me and I under estimated myself and the inner strength I realise I do have. I’d never join in with that nonsense again. I’m staying single. It’s safer. I’m out of that toxic. Best to get out and stay out. Thanks Joe.
And where they will be in the end of playing their games with people ?? After all those narcissistic games they got nowhere , just lonely and miserable and blaming everybody else about it. Great video as always ! Thank you Joe ! 🤗❤ 13.5K 👍👍👍
I'm so glad I learned about narcissism lol. Now they just make themselves look stupid! I know I've healed from the narcissists abuse I experienced cuz I laugh at them now! They're so laughable 😂
I’ll be honest I entered into this game. Every time he pulled away. I did too. I was just matching his energy. Even though I was invested emotionally and I really liked him I tolerated his shitty behaviour and the only way I could deal with it was to mirror. I’m out of it now. Physically left. Emotionally still trauma bonded but it’s slowly weakening. Don’t play their game. Just walk away from toxic behaviour because it’s just not worth it to your emotional and physical well being in the long term.
When my narcissistic husband ignores me, I love it. I load up SUV and go camping. I feel at ease and peaceful. At least I don’t have to deal with his crap.
After three or four days of the silent treatment, the narcissist would beg me for us to start talking. After that first time when I followed him around saying, "what's wrong?" and being ignored, I responded to the silent treatment by engaging in my own interest with intensity and silence. We cycled through the silence and love bombing many times before I finally found a way out.😀
"When their supply doesn't behave in predictable ways that [the narcissist] needs and expects, thats when narcissists get hooked and obsessed on their supply..." More than just hooked and obsessed. They become frustrated, disrespectful, verbally abusive, and physically threatening.
I can see this with my ex… he was a proper player, has an. Excel chart of his women with comments how this or that woman was in bed. And now he is aging and it’s getting harder for him to find someone and the dude is now extremely lonely. All narcs will ultimately end up alone. Aging is the greatest equaliser 🎉
I'm going through this nightmare now. He would always talk about women, that if the cashier tried to flirt, and the other and this and that. Even in bed he would speak about some other ex. Now he is giving me silent treatment or avoiding my questions since I Saw he is on Tinder for a few weeks and I confronted him. My life is a total mess right now and we were living together but I moved out since the house belongs to his parents but still no answers. He is not telling me he breaks up. I need clear answer so I can move on with my life.
The worst part of it is that I'm the crazy one. Like it is my fault, he is playing the victim for something he has created. I can't wait for this nightmare to be over I swear.
@@lauralau1377 They don't normally give closure, for various reasons that benefit themselves. Joe has made some interesting videos about that subject which are enlightening. We let their extremely unacceptable behavior be closure enough for us, and we give it (closure) to ourselves, not ever expecting anything from them in the way of closure.
@@lauralau1377You're fortunate you made it out alive! You deserve better. No Contact is the best kind of protection. If you give in, it will only get worse.
They then start to stalk you . First the phony calls from strange numbers and than the playing with remote devices and than finally years of stalking you 7 yrs and still I’m not responding to anything. Must be disturbing.
It isn’t payback going no contact for me. He can’t take it however he wants tho. I’m quite literally trying to protect myself from them. I won’t ever let him come back and he’s hoovered me countless times before. I’m not playing his mind games ever again or with anybody like him
I am so happy for you! I know its hard not to get sucked back in especially when they cry and beg but remember its all fake and they dont mean any of it! So happy you made it out alive! Sending you hugs 🤗
Im not playing...i left and ghosted them after they treated me a certain way...i will NOT CHASE THEM ! Im living my own life ..i got no time to waste my energy on that B.S.
Your moves should be like Judo. You are only a danger to them if they attack you and you use their moves against them. Eventually they'll kind of get it and realize two things - they can't win and you don't need to be destroyed.
I started mirroring them and ignoring them because they ignore me. They started being nice again and I was a polite yellow rock. They started devaluing again by ignoring and abandoning me and I am ignoring them again. I will leave when I can, but until then I will just be a yellow rock.
I am at the otherside of this push pull game as i am the narc that started it, it back fired in my face when she didnt try to contact me back, and i realized i dont have that emotional power over her any more, in a weird way my big ego felt weak and not worthy although i started all of it. My advise to you no matter what never allow them to “Apologize” to you, Because that is what i would do NOT because im sorry, But because i know that if she felt like a victim.. she will always be easy to win back, as the victim feels like they have less power than the person that hurt them. Whenever they apologize just be like: For what? You didnt hurt me, and act like you really had normal times wothout them, some good some bad. Dont say: i had great days without you, because id know you just want to hurt me. And never ever try to guilt them, becuase if i am guilty it means i hurt you & if i hurt you this means that both of us believe that i have more power than you. Just be unshakable no matter what they throw on you, the good before the bad. …….. Now if you still want the relationship, then you are going to still proove to both of you that you are unshakable no matter what, and only then you can start rebuilding the dynamic in a healthy way when both of you know the red lines. Even then be aware as you might be just a long-term mind game that he/she wants to win.
@vanvev6920 Thank you for your input. I have no desire to keep up a relationship with this person. It is just hard right at this moment to completely break away and go no contact as they are my husband's relative and have love bombed him nearly blind. Their gifts do as much for me as their insults; I now know that what they originally told me with all of the compliments was a lie, and their true feelings are that I am in their way. If I could get out of my marriage and they could keep my husband, I would do it, but I see marriage as a covenant for life, and I have nowhere else to go.
Yep,I know only too well about this particular topic. The push pull.It lead to a nervous breakdown for me as it went on for too long .unfortunately,at that time, I didn't know what I was dealing with, a hard lesson to learn.Never again.
All of these fancy medical terms & names for who/ what the narc does, is great, but the short of it, why they pull away and go missing for periods of time with no closure, no warning, just poof and they're gone is not so complex, they lay on the manipulating tactics, the love bombing, the mirroring, the fakeness, acting nice caring, loving, pretending, playing make believe is exhausting and takes a lot of work much like acting, so they need down time, to regroup, recharge & plot their next move, much like " Pinky & the Brain"...they are watching to see if you're falling for the shenanigans, its all a game, a mind & heart game, they are petty and childish and think its funny to watch you grabble and become anxious about where you stand with them, are they really that into you, how much do you really love them, is it enough for them to use you and how long can this supply last...cuz if you stop giving the supply, they will quickly dump you & look for another victim, they are full of crap and don't deserve the precious time & energy we give them...and then we wanna give them multiple chances to change and come back to so it all over again...we are all on their wash..rinse..repeat cycles that will never end until we cut them off and walk away or man or woman up enough to deal with their foolishness and feeding right back to them unapologetically....It's me or them at this point, and I love me some me, so that means they can kickrocks....
I recently did this to a friend and they turned nasty, sulking at first, then trying to get attention, then nice again then suddenly nasty. Really pissed me off. I didnt back down though - not worth letting them win
I read this somewhere, and it was very helpful the last time, my “boyfriend“ decided he was going to ignore me…. “When someone ignores you, show the dead respect, and move on with your life.” I can’t remember where I read this…but it put things in perspective I needed to close that relationship. It is dead. Maybe it will help someone else.
your speaking truth! i went NC for a year and disappeared. Let God handled that! I don’t chase, beg, or allow my ex narc to keep me down. They are dead to me and i deleted social media and don’t even pay them any attention. I healed and elevated. i mirrored them and continued to 🤷🏻♀️. been a year and a half 💪🏼 reverse hoover didn’t work
Im in NC as well! My narc has family here and is still living here but I wish hed go back to his family in TX or California. Hes trying to hoover me again and I feel like I might have to be the one to leave to get away. He made me delete all my socials when we were together and I havent started them back out of fear of him finding me. Im so glad you got away and are healing.
I jumped ship this time! I've done something I've never done before when he ghosted me 2 times before...I blocked him everywhere! He told me he would stalk my FB before & now he can't see me anywhere! I'm done this time!
The toxicity of Narcissist is all around on so many levels. It's my belief, especially when a person lacks communication is a healthy way n having consideration for other beings, once exposing the narcissistic person n you speak on their unacceptable behavior then they will flip it on you. It's best to focus on you..n any human being not being a healthy being press the restart button n meet human beings that are considerate to the core of you..Great content..The Nar. never change its all their game for them they get a rise from it..Just my opinion..
It wasn't I wanted to give him a lesson. It was that I am not going to chase for love, attention or caring from anyone. We lived far apart but he contacted me regularly by letter (40 years ago), phone and in person. He seemed able to keep his mask which made it hard for me to leave. And congratulations, Joe, for massive increase in followers. You deserve it.❤❤❤
I had this happen to me where he played me, by lovebombing, hovering me, and I would actually fall in his traps, until I looked at your video, which made a whole lot of sense, it was like he was getting energy from my response. I quickly did the No contact with him, which I went back and forth with him many of times, leaving me looking like a fool. I had enough by focusing on my mental health, and wellbeing, now I feel in control, and in peace, because feeling whole is a lot better then feeling hopeless and attached to someone who doesn’t care anything about me.
We are in that phase right now. I've ignored her for 6 days and she's done the same. But this time I won't beg for attention. I'm tired of her pull-push game every time she can't handle her anger, jealousy and resentment. I'm still in shock, trying to process how mean she's been since the beginning of our relationship. It's so painful to realize that it was all a sham with her, that she was never honest.
How are you holding up? Have you heard from her at all? I was discarded at Xmas and the last I heard from my narc was Jan 3rd. I foolishly want him to Hoover me but I also hate him and want him gone from my life forever. I had never dated a narc before. This has been such an insane ride. He nearly broke me. In fact, my heart is still shattered and I still feel just as broken.
Going through the same thing. Keep pushing forward, you got this! Therapy and changing my self worth helped me a lot. It was an eye opener for me when I got ghosted, after I went through depression. Like an idiot I tried to contact her to understand why she ghosted. She would play these games where she would either reply and then block me so I couldn’t reply, block me completely or just ignore me. And then I tried to contact her again after I kept getting bothered. Even though I was getting all these endless calls from random numbers, random texts and being bothered online for months since I stopped being in contact with her. Interesting enough it was flipped by her that everything was my fault and she never ever admitted she did anything wrong to me. It was always me, according to her. I did make some mistakes with her because I know I am not perfect. So I had no issue apologizing for where I was wrong, because I am not perfect. The thing is that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. A healthy person can admit and apologize for their wrongdoings with true empathy, compassion, changed behavior and respect. A narc will never ever give you that because they create this version in their mind that their reactions are because you do everything wrong and they are always right. You can’t ever question/ healthy reason with a narc because that drives them bonkers. And, they create this version of you/scenarios that is delusional/far fetched from reality. I hope you heal well and keep pushing forward. You deserve it!
I mirrored him back not even knowing what that was. I blamed everything on the accident. Him being kicked out of nursing school and not being able to talk to his daughter. I had NO IDEA. And I also blamed it on his depression. It was all smoke and mirrors. Absolutely nuts.🤯🤯🤯👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Omg..Hey stranger..that hits the nail on the head. I hate how many times he would say that. He said that to me this past summer when he tried to hoover me. So sorry narc it's not going to work and it didn't. I walked away. He gas lit me so much I pointed it out. He told me then no more mind games then he told me months later that it's all in my head. Omg I have done my research I know who he is. Besides I called him out a few hundred times. I don't recommend it but it was ok for me. I have God on my side I don't want him in my life ever and we were just friends.
I don't know why I'm chuckling reading some of these comments, thank goodness God gave me some positive energy we need it to battle the enemy. Stay strong Survivor's we are in a spiritual warfare, these negative energy narcissist's are their own worst enemy, their pride will be their downfall.🕊
Based on my experience, this very game never stopped in the span of over 15 years. What you are describing is a skill I have to keep polishing over and over and my skin is much thicker now, but this is not a phase. They don't just do this "early on."
Looking back, she tried her best to ruin me. Constantly verbally attacking my friends and family claiming their all narcissists, constantly wanting me to go running with every drama, if not I got punished by silent treatment, or belittling especially infront of others. Emotional distance. But then it would start again. It was the well noted value devalue discard. She convinced me to give up my house and stay with her, I wasn't allowed my things in her house so I moved my belongings to storage. 3k over 18 months. Then she turned at the 6 month mark and said she wasn't planning to live with someone, I tried explaining she wanted me go give up my house to be closer to her. She didn't show a single emotion, I cried and asked why has she done this to me, I've given up so much, my time was spent at her business fixing, maintaining, cleaning. She looked at me and said I've got trauma from a previous relationship and should get therapy. I wasn't looking for this, or her. She chased me for 3 months. Portating she's into the same things as me when really she wasn't. An extremely dangerous woman. I didn't deserve any of it. She nearly broke me
Been there same thing. Built our/ now her business, moved in worked and got no pay for my labors ,always was on eggshells, used, told I never take her out but she had the cards, etc total control. Yea toxic ASF! My soon to be ex wife is the same if not worse. 2 narc encounters smh I'm done!
I walked away about 8 months ago. And it was the other day while me and couple coworkers were carpooling that we had stopped at a red light and I had looked to the left of me at the light aswell. She didn't see me as far as I know but it was interesting that I didn't feel anything at all just as if It was any other random person. That happened a few days ago and the only reason why I recalled it was because I hadn't watched this kind of content in months hahaha. Its good to heal and move on. I'm sure itd have been a lot different to see her at the store especially if she had seen me as well, but miraclusly that hadnt happened. They say its a small world but living just 20 minutes down the road in another town brings me a whole lot of peace.
Don't ever pick up the phone for unknown numbers. I've been out of my fake relationship for about 3 years and I will never pick up the phone for numbers I don't have listed as contacts.
Not in my experience. It is so obvious to my in-laws that he is disturbed and emotionally and physically violent. And yet they go along with his narrative (that I abused him and that's why he's right to dump me after four years and leave me $17K out of pocket). His mother admitted to me that they are simply frightened, and apart from me no one stood up to him. This is how society enables these people, sadly.
When we ended he got a new phone number so I couldn't text him. No prob. But then he turned up at my house as a friend seemingly. No prob. A month later I turned up at his house...he said no pop up visits. No prob. So I couldn't ring nor go over. No prob. But then he popped over to my place, at wish point I said " follow your own rules...no pop up visits".😂😂😂. He literally painted himself into a corner, and much to his surprise...I let him stay there 😂❤
Narcissists are masters at hide 👻 and seek and peekaboo. 😆 And they will be doing the "Boo"ing. It's all fun and games and then they do it again. Is it the one who stays hidden or gives up the game first who wins? 🤷♂️
I just mirrored his abusive behavior and called him names right back! I told him I knew for months about his lies. He shut down. Stopped contacting me! 😂
This is the ultimate Judo move right here!! Love your videos, to me you offer the most authentic and original ideas on CZcams in regards to narcissists. So happy to see your recent success and so many recent videos. I hope I played a very small part in it - when I discovered you around two months ago I literally listened to every video - some of them 2 or 3 times. Your perspective and calming voice was cathartic as I made sense of things, and I would often fall asleep to a curated playlist… an almost imperceptible wry smile forming occasionally across my face. Much love Joe, see you at 100K ❤
ive got a best friend of 20+ years. we met in high school and i didn't know he was a Narc until my late twenties. found out i was a highly sensitive person (HSP) and the all the research I did on the topic led me to narcissistic personality disorder. and then a light bulb just turned on in my head and my relationship to him made so much sense. subsequent years of internal debate on whether I'd cut him off or not. only thing keeping me was his wife and kids. i love them all and his wife was also in our graduating class. this push- pull dynamic you describe sounds exactly like what i was experiencing. and he'd done it before but i didnt have the language to articulate the emotions. i chalked it up to anxiety and assuming he was up to something because he is a Narc. you've explained it so well and it makes so much sense. we just didn't talk at all. for months. he rarely reached out and texts left on read for weeks. he'd message in the group chat or call others to check in, but i got nothing. jokes on him. made it easier to let go.
That’s true they are out. My ex narc wanted me to still stick around for the push pull and other abuses after divorce and when I did no contact two days after divorce she’s blowing up my phone no caller id, sending records of her having sex, and still trying to call to narcissistically abuse , these people are evil. Thank you God for removing this women from my life.
Every video of yours that i have watched is to the point...not the common advices you hear from everybody.True facts that i have also faced.Thank you..
We were best friends but at the end his Narc traits increased. He cheaded, lied, blamed me for his bad actions and compared me to her. Makes me feel like I am the bad person. His actions turned the love I had for him into hatred. I can imagine the lies he told his family but little does he know that I previously discussed his behavior with his daughter and told her that I couldn't do this anymore. She wished me the best and will pray for God's best for me. She knows her 71 yr old father has issues. Im a nurse and also help him with his health issues,(mental and physical health issues). He is also a addict no good for me but I still stayed with him regardless. Now I do nt exist to him. I didn't lose anything but he lost me and I will never go back to him. I do not care or love him anymore. That's his karma.
2:45 For years I chased her, "Are you OK, is something wrong?" In the last 18 months of 11 years, when she ignored me, I mirrored that back to her. I simply no longer interacted with her when she was in one of her moods. Eventually she would come up to me when she was in a better mood, and pretended the silence over the past five days didn't happen. Mirroring back her negative energy didn't help the situation, but not mirroring back didn't help either... it was a lose-lose situation. But, I began to see her and eventually I asked her to leave my home. She didn't work, she had no income.. this is probably why I stayed in it as long as I did... she had nowhere to go. But it didn't stop her from pulling the abuse lever.
Seriously, my narcissist ex-wife has now slept with over 30 men. In the beginning of our relationship age 20 I asked how many men she slept with. She told me 5 or 6. Then a year or so later when I was hanging out with her two closest friends I asked them how many men she slept with. They both were honest and knew her very well. They both told me she sleot with about 20. WE WERE 21 YEARS OLD! I SHOULDVE LEFT HER THEN!!
“….destabilize…shake the grounding of that person….” When you said that, it really grabbed me This is very true of the narci, after they are sure that they’ve made you fall in love with them, that’s the hook, but after that, the destabilizing sets the hook and you’re done, until you wise up and get out Thank you
This video is an education. It's interesting because I had a reading done. And I keep getting the message that some people from my past want to come back in my life to make amends and apologize. The greatest gift is not having those narcissists in my life. I said no thanks, return to sender. I don't want to be friends again (in my case my narcissists were so called friends and from my religion). I don't want them back, the peace I have now is worth everything I lost.
This would have been helpful when my husband brutally discarded me back in May...i didn't realize what he is until i started researching 😈 Ive now went radio silent
Seems like you want brownie points & playing games with people's lives for street cred 🤔 you have something to prove because you are the sore loser. Be honest with yourself & hold your L in peace. The ONE who WON is moved on to the next level. It's you who are stuck repeating the same damn traps but never learning. Now it all makes sense why you just don't STOP. If you surpass someone then you don't have to BRING them down & that is why your tactics are perceived to them as annoying than entertaining because you're old news seeking constant attention for YOUR failures ✌🏽 get tf out my life & go cry
This is getting into Trauma Bond territory, which is dangerous. When the narcissist knows they are losing Control, they can become very angry. Narcissistic rage is scary and unpredictable. I know it hurts but it is better if they lose interest and move on. Otherwise you will be kept in their insane game, forever. :(
I still haven't really been able to find one video out of thousands that relates to my situation. Falling in Love with a friend that's in a relationship then discovering she's a covert narcissist. Then having her get more and more distant and discard me after I told her how I felt about her. There was never any abuse but it was like a mini version of a narcissist relationship. She just gave me the silent treatment and got slightly passive aggressive in a very subtle way so it took me months to figure out what was going on and why I was feeling so much anxiety, then of course I also realized my mother was a narcissist and it was familiar to me wanting a woman that doesn't want me and that made me feel unimportant.
I understand, I had similar experiences only it was more of an absent father issue with me. I was attracted to the quieter type of man I thought that being more shy-like was cute..🙄 Fast forward I tied the knot with a covert, sadistic, Jekyll and Hyde narcissist.😳
Beware of not being locked into the cycle of continuously trying to resolve childhood trauma inflicted at the hand of (a) controlling, narcissistic parent(s). Not really leaving parents behind emotionally, can easily be preventing one from truly cleaving to a future marriage partner. Important for parents to allow their teen/young adult children to individuate towards maturity and becoming truly independent from them. Otherwise they later tend towards emancipating themselves from their marriage partners. Narcissists are known to specifically enter into emotional bonds for the sole purpose of later severing the relationship.
I’m experiencing that from the opposite gender. It is like a mini narcissist relationship and was very damaging. Partly because I knew better and thought I was a better person but still got sucked in!! We’re lucky to be able to walk away with the lesson so quickly.
@@AngelTheCat792 yes that was what happened with me I went through like a high-speed mini relationship with a covert narcissist went through all the stages. the thoughts and emotions but never kissed her and never got physical. I didn't realize it was possible to bond with somebody without even getting physical but then I realized it started to happen before with two other women that were emotionally unavailable . I think I can break the pattern now that I know what it is. I didn't realize before that I was attracting emotionally unavailable women. I still do feel like I have a degree of love for this girl though and that we have unfinished business in the future at some point but maybe that's just my unwillingness to Let Her Go cuz I like her so much🥲
If a narcissist ignores you, count it a blessing. Ignore them back forever.
It was very painful and valuable lesson for me. Now if someone is starting to play push-pull game with me - I immediately remove them from my life, without questions, without any emotions. Thank you for your work! I love your videos. Very helpful and deep. Happy Holidays!
“The push pull game” is a great description of that behavior pattern!
That’s hard to do after you spend a significant (3.5 years) time with them.
@BJBlaskovichGaming try 33 years!
@@dodibenabba525 Even worse. I’m sorry.
@BJBlaskovichGaming thanks mate, for God's sake don't ever do what I did! I can't believe I'm still alive, I lost everything including my kids. These people are scum and would have been quite happy to see me top myself! Some fricking wicked people about.
They are sick & twisted, leave them alone & just walk away. Protect your sanity!
All very true . Silence . No contact. Block. Treat as if they are dead. Don’t let them come back in your life. Ever. They will ruin it and you.
Facts 💯
That’s The only way to be protected from them….
I walked. He really did misjudge me. I loved him so much, but not to the point of discarding my boundaries.
They are clowns wearing Business Suits 💯💯💯
Mine tried to convince me I was the narc but I think he realised he misjudged me after I walked..too bad so sad bye bye 👋
I think it’s addiction rather than love
I thought I was madly in "love" too but I'm realizing it wasn't love it was just desperation.
At 51 yes old never married. I fell for a 23 yr old narc. I had not even heard of this disorder. Now I'm filing for divorce and he has moved on to his new supply. And I left him in shock when I showed him I had EVERYTHING DOCUMENTED . 😅
Once I started mirroring his silent treatments his distance,abuse, disregard escalated. He brutally discarded me last month. Radio silence from both of us two weeks after his discard. Third week he blocked me EVERYWHERE.
Think I did a blow to his ego.
Wouldn’t wish a narc to anyone! They’re the worst type of living being to experience!
Block him everywhere too and never look back. Do not allow the hoover when it comes and one day it will come.
Had the same experience.
Exact same experience! I got blocked on 8th Jan after I mirrored him and ignored him. He is now with someone else. That’s someone else was always there
keep radio silence. Dont be bothered whether he blocked you or not. Dont look back. Get loose of all emotional bondings though i know it is very painful. You need to be very courageous. Do beleive in your own self. God bless you.
I am experiencing exactly how you are. It’s been three weeks now. He did the finally discard. And I felt it coming. I’ve studied narcissism and all the traits for the last 10 months. He’s a covert. And the mental abuse he did on me was so horrible. All I can say is on a good note. The trash took itself out. 🎉
narcissists are truly insane ; once you see them play the game say GTFOH and keep your distance from these vipers
Sucks because she's really hot and I had to block her 😮
Family’s we were raised around all these f them wow taught behavior
For real.
My ex NARC moved on immediately with someone else and she moved in. He betrayed me and lied unbelievably… worst part is he’s my neighbor 2 houses away… I bought a brand new white Dodge Ram truck. In February. I love it. Well, guess what??? He recently bought a new white truck … looks like mine. Games???? Not a coincidence in my book. Also, this new person isn’t always there and I’m not jealous of her at all. She’s a complete downgrade. Ewww
@@KarenMarie-hn8db I’m so sorry. My ex narc is 1,500 miles away so that does help.
They tend to want what they can't have.
The most destructive and foundational to other Commandments, is the 10th one: The envy of yearning for that which others have; wanting whatever is not rightfully yours, but which instead has to be slyly obtained through bribing, manipulation, stealing... At the root lie discontentment and pride: Unthankfulness and the deception of believing that one deserves something else and more; especially being valued as most important and being the centre of attention.
AND they do what they want. When they want. AND how they want. And will walk over anyone to get it...Karma is coming...❤
@@scottoz7891
Reaping what was sown...
What if their karma never comes? What if they always “win” ?
That’s humans in general. We’re all narcissists 😂
Push pull is about control.
I dont play games, I tell them what they need to hear, if they leave, let them leave.
Move on, leave the drama behind
Jesus is freedom.
Narcissists love the thrill of the chase and once they catch you they lose interest in you very fast. Narcissists love a challenge so give them what they want go no contact forever. If you can't leave or get them out of your life straight away perfect the grey rock method.
👍👍
@@B-Nia 🕊 👍🙂
what's grey rock method
@@sbksubhash Narcissist's feed off your emotional energy so if you become more quiet around them a little more bland you will be less interesting to them, they can't extract as much narc supply out of you then. It's not for everyone and it depends on what you want to achieve, if they leave you alone a bit more it will bring a bit more peace into your life. When you engage in a conversation with a narcissist it quite often ends up in a war of words.
When you ignore them, the Narcissists will be on their knees and back to lovebombing.
When I matched his distespect he just looked for a new woman quickly. They. Dont. Care.
Facts! Thats what mine did, discarded me after 2 years like I was nothing.
When she (the bee supply that Im pretty sure he had found before we even broke up) discarded him after just a few short weeks he was right back to trying to hoover me. This time i saw him for what he was; pathetic. They do NOT care about people, just their own selfish needs.
I matched my ex wife’s disrespect.. And she wanted to get away from me as quickly as possible.. And hasn’t reached out to me at all since.. It hurt at first, but day by day I care less and less
Narcissists have always lost with me. I pin them in 5 minutes and I turn the poison back at them I always have the last laugh and they end up destroyed by me. Their super weak, predictable, and superficial and not at all interesting
Exactly! And annoying asf
😂
I have never met an interesting narc. When they aren't putting on the show (the facade) there isn't much there.. No depth. Nothing.
Please give me some tips too 😢
@@cuspryd3r My situation is kinda worst. It’s been 8 months my ex narc broke up w me. I was in no contact period till sep and then suddenly he showed up to me like everything’s normal and started saying that he never broke up w me. It was all a misunderstanding that he broke up w me. And i was like wtf!
Then he started calling me texting me from different nos. But still I didn’t accept him. And i now to the core of my mind and heart that he’s the most dirtiest person I’ve ever met in my life a devil i guess in the form of a human being. But now, i call him once a month even after knowing that he’s a piece of shit and he first talks nicely but then after 2 min shows a lot of ego and attitude. Then blocks me on calls and then after a day unblocks me.
Idk what does he want from me. And even if he blocks me he only blocks me on calls and leaves in anxiety.
I have no idea how to break this trauma bond also i am taking therapy but it’s not working i guess that’s why i keep going back to him 😭
After the initial lovebomb and then we got together. After that he disappeared for 3 days. He’d never done that before. I didn’t know what he was then. However I didn’t reach out to him. He came back and I accepted it without question. Massive red flag and the start of the intermittent reinforcement. Later he did it all the time and I mirrored and matched his behaviour every time. I never reached out. But I was actually desperate for him to message me although I never told him that. He knew. In the end I discarded him. I am never going back and playing his games ever again. He broke me. But I’m rebuilding me. Loving myself for the first time in a long time. Learnt a lot of lessons. He totally took me for granted and in the end he totally under estimated me and I under estimated myself and the inner strength I realise I do have. I’d never join in with that nonsense again. I’m staying single. It’s safer. I’m out of that toxic. Best to get out and stay out. Thanks Joe.
Yup! Glad your out and rebuilding yourself! Blessings
P] pop] )])))l
P] pop] )])))
Ok(okkk[[o(k(
Beautiful!! This tough situation made you realize your superpowers!! Luv your story!!
And where they will be in the end of playing their games with people ?? After all those narcissistic games they got nowhere , just lonely and miserable and blaming everybody else about it. Great video as always ! Thank you Joe ! 🤗❤ 13.5K 👍👍👍
👏👏👏
Thank you ❤️
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I'm so glad I learned about narcissism lol. Now they just make themselves look stupid! I know I've healed from the narcissists abuse I experienced cuz I laugh at them now! They're so laughable 😂
I deal with this every day, and now my reaction is to keep it moving and do my own thing. I become stronger everyday.
It’s a life lesson
Keep it moving! 👌
This is the way!
Who has time for those games? Just leave them alone!!
I’ll be honest I entered into this game. Every time he pulled away. I did too. I was just matching his energy. Even though I was invested emotionally and I really liked him I tolerated his shitty behaviour and the only way I could deal with it was to mirror. I’m out of it now. Physically left. Emotionally still trauma bonded but it’s slowly weakening. Don’t play their game. Just walk away from toxic behaviour because it’s just not worth it to your emotional and physical well being in the long term.
When my narcissistic husband ignores me, I love it. I load up SUV and go camping. I feel at ease and peaceful. At least I don’t have to deal with his crap.
I can relate. Enjoy the peace.
After three or four days of the silent treatment, the narcissist would beg me for us to start talking. After that first time when I followed him around saying, "what's wrong?" and being ignored, I responded to the silent treatment by engaging in my own interest with intensity and silence. We cycled through the silence and love bombing many times before I finally found a way out.😀
"When their supply doesn't behave in predictable ways that [the narcissist] needs and expects, thats when narcissists get hooked and obsessed on their supply..."
More than just hooked and obsessed. They become frustrated, disrespectful, verbally abusive, and physically threatening.
Really. A Girl told me that.
My ex narc told me that I am too unpredictable and too strong, so he quit after 1 year of on and off relationship.
Complete indifference
The trash took itself out 10 yrs ago, haven't once tried to reach out to him haha he's since remarried tries to get info from my kids.
I can see this with my ex… he was a proper player, has an. Excel chart of his women with comments how this or that woman was in bed. And now he is aging and it’s getting harder for him to find someone and the dude is now extremely lonely. All narcs will ultimately end up alone. Aging is the greatest equaliser 🎉
I'm going through this nightmare now. He would always talk about women, that if the cashier tried to flirt, and the other and this and that. Even in bed he would speak about some other ex. Now he is giving me silent treatment or avoiding my questions since I Saw he is on Tinder for a few weeks and I confronted him. My life is a total mess right now and we were living together but I moved out since the house belongs to his parents but still no answers. He is not telling me he breaks up. I need clear answer so I can move on with my life.
The worst part of it is that I'm the crazy one. Like it is my fault, he is playing the victim for something he has created. I can't wait for this nightmare to be over I swear.
@@lauralau1377 They don't normally give closure, for various reasons that benefit themselves. Joe has made some interesting videos about that subject which are enlightening. We let their extremely unacceptable behavior be closure enough for us, and we give it (closure) to ourselves, not ever expecting anything from them in the way of closure.
@@lauralau1377You're fortunate you made it out alive! You deserve better. No Contact is the best kind of protection. If you give in, it will only get worse.
@@lauralau1377 - No answer is an answer.
They then start to stalk you . First the phony calls from strange numbers and than the playing with remote devices and than finally years of stalking you 7 yrs and still I’m not responding to anything. Must be disturbing.
7 years is a long time to be mentally stuck on someone who cares nothing for them smh
@@empressb444 they won’t let go because I dumped them and they want me to be as miserable as them. I keep going and living my life . 🙏🏽
This also occurs outside of romantic relationships. Narcs are nuts if you are simply no longer interested. Some begin to stalk and stare.
That’s a fact! Stalker freaks
The stalking and the staring 😂
yeh his friend did this
Once you see someone is toxic if at all possible block, delete and move on. It's not worth wasting one ounce of energy on them.
I managed to turn it around on the narc. I just ignore him now, he lost me.
doing exactly this... ignoring him,, no contact,, silence after 2 months of love bombing.. feel relieved..
It isn’t payback going no contact for me. He can’t take it however he wants tho. I’m quite literally trying to protect myself from them. I won’t ever let him come back and he’s hoovered me countless times before. I’m not playing his mind games ever again or with anybody like him
I am so happy for you! I know its hard not to get sucked back in especially when they cry and beg but remember its all fake and they dont mean any of it! So happy you made it out alive! Sending you hugs 🤗
Im not playing...i left and ghosted them after they treated me a certain way...i will NOT CHASE THEM ! Im living my own life ..i got no time to waste my energy on that B.S.
Are you the narcissist?
@@user-kk5bz3pf2mwhat a stupid question ??are you?..or just a flying monkey enabler of them..?😂
@@user-kk5bz3pf2m Are you?
Your moves should be like Judo. You are only a danger to them if they attack you and you use their moves against them. Eventually they'll kind of get it and realize two things - they can't win and you don't need to be destroyed.
I started mirroring them and ignoring them because they ignore me. They started being nice again and I was a polite yellow rock. They started devaluing again by ignoring and abandoning me and I am ignoring them again. I will leave when I can, but until then I will just be a yellow rock.
I am at the otherside of this push pull game as i am the narc that started it, it back fired in my face when she didnt try to contact me back, and i realized i dont have that emotional power over her any more, in a weird way my big ego felt weak and not worthy although i started all of it.
My advise to you no matter what never allow them to “Apologize” to you,
Because that is what i would do NOT because im sorry, But because i know that if she felt like a victim.. she will always be easy to win back, as the victim feels like they have less power than the person that hurt them.
Whenever they apologize just be like:
For what?
You didnt hurt me, and act like you really had normal times wothout them, some good some bad.
Dont say: i had great days without you, because id know you just want to hurt me.
And never ever try to guilt them, becuase if i am guilty it means i hurt you & if i hurt you this means that both of us believe that i have more power than you.
Just be unshakable no matter what they throw on you, the good before the bad.
……..
Now if you still want the relationship, then you are going to still proove to both of you that you are unshakable no matter what, and only then you can start rebuilding the dynamic in a healthy way when both of you know the red lines.
Even then be aware as you might be just a long-term mind game that he/she wants to win.
@vanvev6920 Thank you for your input. I have no desire to keep up a relationship with this person. It is just hard right at this moment to completely break away and go no contact as they are my husband's relative and have love bombed him nearly blind. Their gifts do as much for me as their insults; I now know that what they originally told me with all of the compliments was a lie, and their true feelings are that I am in their way. If I could get out of my marriage and they could keep my husband, I would do it, but I see marriage as a covenant for life, and I have nowhere else to go.
A "YELLOW" rock? That's something new. I thought we were supposed to be GREY rocks: bland and boring.
@@naowright9308 I have no where else to go either ... turning 61 in a few months. He is trying to destitute me. :(
Hateraid is because it gives you your energy back. Don't hate just detach ✌🏼
Return to sender
Yep,I know only too well about this particular topic. The push pull.It lead to a nervous breakdown for me as it went on for too long .unfortunately,at that time, I didn't know what I was dealing with, a hard lesson to learn.Never again.
You learn the hard way....the best you can do for yourself is let them win, walk away and never look back.
Nobody wins when we play the ignoring game.
u can still move in this way
Then step out of that game completley. You are the CEO of your life.
Because they don’t know themselves like we do. They never planned on us figuring them out.
All of these fancy medical terms & names for who/ what the narc does, is great, but the short of it, why they pull away and go missing for periods of time with no closure, no warning, just poof and they're gone is not so complex, they lay on the manipulating tactics, the love bombing, the mirroring, the fakeness, acting nice caring, loving, pretending, playing make believe is exhausting and takes a lot of work much like acting, so they need down time, to regroup, recharge & plot their next move, much like " Pinky & the Brain"...they are watching to see if you're falling for the shenanigans, its all a game, a mind & heart game, they are petty and childish and think its funny to watch you grabble and become anxious about where you stand with them, are they really that into you, how much do you really love them, is it enough for them to use you and how long can this supply last...cuz if you stop giving the supply, they will quickly dump you & look for another victim, they are full of crap and don't deserve the precious time & energy we give them...and then we wanna give them multiple chances to change and come back to so it all over again...we are all on their wash..rinse..repeat cycles that will never end until we cut them off and walk away or man or woman up enough to deal with their foolishness and feeding right back to them unapologetically....It's me or them at this point, and I love me some me, so that means they can kickrocks....
That's why my Narcopath would sleep for days. 😂😂
I recently did this to a friend and they turned nasty, sulking at first, then trying to get attention, then nice again then suddenly nasty. Really pissed me off. I didnt back down though - not worth letting them win
I read this somewhere, and it was very helpful the last time, my “boyfriend“ decided he was going to ignore me…. “When someone ignores you, show the dead respect, and move on with your life.”
I can’t remember where I read this…but it put things in perspective I needed to close that relationship. It is dead. Maybe it will help someone else.
your speaking truth! i went NC for a year and disappeared. Let God handled that! I don’t chase, beg, or allow my ex narc to keep me down. They are dead to me and i deleted social media and don’t even pay them any attention. I healed and elevated. i mirrored them and continued to 🤷🏻♀️. been a year and a half 💪🏼 reverse hoover didn’t work
👏👍👏👍
That’s good you deleted social media so they can’t stalk you because they do stalk us and even create fake accounts to watch us it’s seriously creepy!
Im in NC as well! My narc has family here and is still living here but I wish hed go back to his family in TX or California. Hes trying to hoover me again and I feel like I might have to be the one to leave to get away. He made me delete all my socials when we were together and I havent started them back out of fear of him finding me. Im so glad you got away and are healing.
Best and most accurate description of their behaviour!
I just learned about narcissistic behavior a few years ago geeze
I jumped ship this time! I've done something I've never done before when he ghosted me 2 times before...I blocked him everywhere! He told me he would stalk my FB before & now he can't see me anywhere! I'm done this time!
The toxicity of Narcissist is all around on so many levels. It's my belief, especially when a person lacks communication is a healthy way n having consideration for other beings, once exposing the narcissistic person n you speak on their unacceptable behavior then they will flip it on you. It's best to focus on you..n any human being not being a healthy being press the restart button n meet human beings that are considerate to the core of you..Great content..The Nar. never change its all their game for them they get a rise from it..Just my opinion..
I learnt that a snake only sheds its skin to become a bigger snake.
It wasn't I wanted to give him a lesson. It was that I am not going to chase for love, attention or caring from anyone. We lived far apart but he contacted me regularly by letter (40 years ago), phone and in person. He seemed able to keep his mask which made it hard for me to leave.
And congratulations, Joe, for massive increase in followers. You deserve it.❤❤❤
Yep, pull the rug once they see you happy. Once the fangs are in. 😢
I had this happen to me where he played me, by lovebombing, hovering me, and I would actually fall in his traps, until I looked at your video, which made a whole lot of sense, it was like he was getting energy from my response. I quickly did the No contact with him, which I went back and forth with him many of times, leaving me looking like a fool. I had enough by focusing on my mental health, and wellbeing, now I feel in control, and in peace, because feeling whole is a lot better then feeling hopeless and attached to someone who doesn’t care anything about me.
We are in that phase right now. I've ignored her for 6 days and she's done the same. But this time I won't beg for attention. I'm tired of her pull-push game every time she can't handle her anger, jealousy and resentment.
I'm still in shock, trying to process how mean she's been since the beginning of our relationship. It's so painful to realize that it was all a sham with her, that she was never honest.
I feel ya hardest thing to Accept. Because they do it so covertly...
How far? Any new development?
How are you holding up? Have you heard from her at all? I was discarded at Xmas and the last I heard from my narc was Jan 3rd. I foolishly want him to Hoover me but I also hate him and want him gone from my life forever. I had never dated a narc before. This has been such an insane ride. He nearly broke me. In fact, my heart is still shattered and I still feel just as broken.
Yeah and plus their playing these games with others at the same time. It's oxygen 2 them 2 get reactions
Going through the same thing. Keep pushing forward, you got this! Therapy and changing my self worth helped me a lot. It was an eye opener for me when I got ghosted, after I went through depression. Like an idiot I tried to contact her to understand why she ghosted. She would play these games where she would either reply and then block me so I couldn’t reply, block me completely or just ignore me. And then I tried to contact her again after I kept getting bothered. Even though I was getting all these endless calls from random numbers, random texts and being bothered online for months since I stopped being in contact with her. Interesting enough it was flipped by her that everything was my fault and she never ever admitted she did anything wrong to me. It was always me, according to her. I did make some mistakes with her because I know I am not perfect. So I had no issue apologizing for where I was wrong, because I am not perfect. The thing is that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. A healthy person can admit and apologize for their wrongdoings with true empathy, compassion, changed behavior and respect. A narc will never ever give you that because they create this version in their mind that their reactions are because you do everything wrong and they are always right. You can’t ever question/ healthy reason with a narc because that drives them bonkers. And, they create this version of you/scenarios that is delusional/far fetched from reality. I hope you heal well and keep pushing forward. You deserve it!
I mirrored him back not even knowing what that was. I blamed everything on the accident. Him being kicked out of nursing school and not being able to talk to his daughter. I had NO IDEA. And I also blamed it on his depression. It was all smoke and mirrors. Absolutely nuts.🤯🤯🤯👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Omg..Hey stranger..that hits the nail on the head. I hate how many times he would say that. He said that to me this past summer when he tried to hoover me. So sorry narc it's not going to work and it didn't. I walked away. He gas lit me so much I pointed it out. He told me then no more mind games then he told me months later that it's all in my head. Omg I have done my research I know who he is. Besides I called him out a few hundred times. I don't recommend it but it was ok for me. I have God on my side I don't want him in my life ever and we were just friends.
This has been the best video I’ve watched because it’s gender neutral and it creates way less confusion thank you so much literally spot on
If my narc contacts me i plan to pretend to be excited, make plans to see him and then just never show up!!! hahahhahahhaha
I don't know why I'm chuckling reading some of these comments, thank goodness God gave me some positive energy we need it to battle the enemy. Stay strong Survivor's we are in a spiritual warfare, these negative energy narcissist's are their own worst enemy, their pride will be their downfall.🕊
U know it! This is extreme spiritual warfare
@@MeghenFarley Take care, keep well.🕊
Based on my experience, this very game never stopped in the span of over 15 years. What you are describing is a skill I have to keep polishing over and over and my skin is much thicker now, but this is not a phase. They don't just do this "early on."
They are vampires.
They are roaches
Perfectly put. I'm now in a place where he is obsessed after I won the Ignoring game, n now I can't get rid of him
I want space = am getting my hips smashed by the rebound!!
The difference:
You: Something's wrong, we need to fix that.
Narc: Nothing's wrong, we need to fix that.
😂
Marvelous! Comment of the year! (among this topic)
@@willyjansson3995 I guess it struck a chord in you, Willy? Thank you for your kind reply. God bless.
Looking back, she tried her best to ruin me. Constantly verbally attacking my friends and family claiming their all narcissists, constantly wanting me to go running with every drama, if not I got punished by silent treatment, or belittling especially infront of others. Emotional distance. But then it would start again. It was the well noted value devalue discard. She convinced me to give up my house and stay with her, I wasn't allowed my things in her house so I moved my belongings to storage. 3k over 18 months. Then she turned at the 6 month mark and said she wasn't planning to live with someone, I tried explaining she wanted me go give up my house to be closer to her. She didn't show a single emotion, I cried and asked why has she done this to me, I've given up so much, my time was spent at her business fixing, maintaining, cleaning. She looked at me and said I've got trauma from a previous relationship and should get therapy. I wasn't looking for this, or her. She chased me for 3 months. Portating she's into the same things as me when really she wasn't. An extremely dangerous woman. I didn't deserve any of it. She nearly broke me
Been there same thing. Built our/ now her business, moved in worked and got no pay for my labors ,always was on eggshells, used, told I never take her out but she had the cards, etc total control. Yea toxic ASF! My soon to be ex wife is the same if not worse. 2 narc encounters smh I'm done!
I walked away about 8 months ago. And it was the other day while me and couple coworkers were carpooling that we had stopped at a red light and I had looked to the left of me at the light aswell. She didn't see me as far as I know but it was interesting that I didn't feel anything at all just as if It was any other random person. That happened a few days ago and the only reason why I recalled it was because I hadn't watched this kind of content in months hahaha. Its good to heal and move on. I'm sure itd have been a lot different to see her at the store especially if she had seen me as well, but miraclusly that hadnt happened. They say its a small world but living just 20 minutes down the road in another town brings me a whole lot of peace.
Don't ever pick up the phone for unknown numbers. I've been out of my fake relationship for about 3 years and I will never pick up the phone for numbers I don't have listed as contacts.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
When a grade a supply finally goes no contact, do other people around the narcissist see their true colors?
Was wondering the same thing
Probably not. It must be exhausting keeping it the mask up if around family, neighbours, co workers.
They're probably too busy feeling sorry for the poor poor psychopath 😅
@@nicselectronics81 they definately go all out for them, against their victims.
Its sad they can't see behind the mask.
Not in my experience. It is so obvious to my in-laws that he is disturbed and emotionally and physically violent. And yet they go along with his narrative (that I abused him and that's why he's right to dump me after four years and leave me $17K out of pocket). His mother admitted to me that they are simply frightened, and apart from me no one stood up to him. This is how society enables these people, sadly.
When we ended he got a new phone number so I couldn't text him. No prob. But then he turned up at my house as a friend seemingly. No prob. A month later I turned up at his house...he said no pop up visits. No prob. So I couldn't ring nor go over. No prob. But then he popped over to my place, at wish point I said " follow your own rules...no pop up visits".😂😂😂. He literally painted himself into a corner, and much to his surprise...I let him stay there 😂❤
It works-until it doesn’t. Thanks Joe. ♥️
Narcissists are masters at hide 👻 and seek and peekaboo. 😆 And they will be doing the "Boo"ing. It's all fun and games and then they do it again.
Is it the one who stays hidden or gives up the game first who wins? 🤷♂️
exactly
It sounds like 4 years old hide and seek .😂
Confirmation of mental disease 🤷🏾♀️ we can't help you
Yes, the first who caves loses!
You have helped me so much! God bless you Joe.. I went NO contact because of you. And, I'm healing everyday. And, I LOVE your voice. ❤
❤
I just mirrored his abusive behavior and called him names right back! I told him I knew for months about his lies. He shut down. Stopped contacting me! 😂
Maybe your best talk yet. Thank you.
It’s very hard to separate yourself as the loser to their loser treatment
This is the ultimate Judo move right here!! Love your videos, to me you offer the most authentic and original ideas on CZcams in regards to narcissists.
So happy to see your recent success and so many recent videos. I hope I played a very small part in it - when I discovered you around two months ago I literally listened to every video - some of them 2 or 3 times.
Your perspective and calming voice was cathartic as I made sense of things, and I would often fall asleep to a curated playlist… an almost imperceptible wry smile forming occasionally across my face. Much love Joe, see you at 100K ❤
😊❤
I really appreciate your comments, and yes 100k would be a nice outfit ❤ All the best to you!!
This is all really well said. Word for word.
ive got a best friend of 20+ years. we met in high school and i didn't know he was a Narc until my late twenties. found out i was a highly sensitive person (HSP) and the all the research I did on the topic led me to narcissistic personality disorder. and then a light bulb just turned on in my head and my relationship to him made so much sense. subsequent years of internal debate on whether I'd cut him off or not. only thing keeping me was his wife and kids. i love them all and his wife was also in our graduating class. this push- pull dynamic you describe sounds exactly like what i was experiencing. and he'd done it before but i didnt have the language to articulate the emotions. i chalked it up to anxiety and assuming he was up to something because he is a Narc. you've explained it so well and it makes so much sense. we just didn't talk at all. for months. he rarely reached out and texts left on read for weeks. he'd message in the group chat or call others to check in, but i got nothing. jokes on him. made it easier to let go.
You have a calming voice. Thanks for your video.
Great content! Thanks Joe!
Sooo perfectly explained!! Thank you!!
That’s true they are out. My ex narc wanted me to still stick around for the push pull and other abuses after divorce and when I did no contact two days after divorce she’s blowing up my phone no caller id, sending records of her having sex, and still trying to call to narcissistically abuse , these people are evil. Thank you God for removing this women from my life.
Every video of yours that i have watched is to the point...not the common advices you hear from everybody.True facts that i have also faced.Thank you..
others are- harioovatatop- sam vaknin- earthen vessels narcissitic abuse playlist ( christian channel_ stay safe )
We were best friends but at the end his Narc traits increased. He cheaded, lied, blamed me for his bad actions and compared me to her. Makes me feel like I am the bad person. His actions turned the love I had for him into hatred. I can imagine the lies he told his family but little does he know that I previously discussed his behavior with his daughter and told her that I couldn't do this anymore. She wished me the best and will pray for God's best for me. She knows her 71 yr old father has issues. Im a nurse and also help him with his health issues,(mental and physical health issues). He is also a addict no good for me but I still stayed with him regardless. Now I do nt exist to him. I didn't lose anything but he lost me and I will never go back to him. I do not care or love him anymore. That's his karma.
2:45 For years I chased her, "Are you OK, is something wrong?" In the last 18 months of 11 years, when she ignored me, I mirrored that back to her. I simply no longer interacted with her when she was in one of her moods. Eventually she would come up to me when she was in a better mood, and pretended the silence over the past five days didn't happen. Mirroring back her negative energy didn't help the situation, but not mirroring back didn't help either... it was a lose-lose situation. But, I began to see her and eventually I asked her to leave my home. She didn't work, she had no income.. this is probably why I stayed in it as long as I did... she had nowhere to go. But it didn't stop her from pulling the abuse lever.
I just agreed when He left , I left !
Seriously, my narcissist ex-wife has now slept with over 30 men. In the beginning of our relationship age 20 I asked how many men she slept with. She told me 5 or 6. Then a year or so later when I was hanging out with her two closest friends I asked them how many men she slept with. They both were honest and knew her very well. They both told me she sleot with about 20. WE WERE 21 YEARS OLD! I SHOULDVE LEFT HER THEN!!
She may be Borderline.
“….destabilize…shake the grounding of that person….” When you said that, it really grabbed me This is very true of the narci, after they are sure that they’ve made you fall in love with them, that’s the hook, but after that, the destabilizing sets the hook and you’re done, until you wise up and get out
Thank you
This video is an education. It's interesting because I had a reading done. And I keep getting the message that some people from my past want to come back in my life to make amends and apologize. The greatest gift is not having those narcissists in my life. I said no thanks, return to sender. I don't want to be friends again (in my case my narcissists were so called friends and from my religion). I don't want them back, the peace I have now is worth everything I lost.
Great information!Thanks for the video😊
This would have been helpful when my husband brutally discarded me back in May...i didn't realize what he is until i started researching 😈 Ive now went radio silent
When i started mirroring back when i was done, he sent narsissist videos to me
Lolol
😅of course he did! Table turning at its best!
lol
This is 💯on target 🎯
Be honest just with yourself= the YOU, you lost becuz of them.
The end-
Seems like you want brownie points & playing games with people's lives for street cred 🤔 you have something to prove because you are the sore loser. Be honest with yourself & hold your L in peace. The ONE who WON is moved on to the next level. It's you who are stuck repeating the same damn traps but never learning. Now it all makes sense why you just don't STOP. If you surpass someone then you don't have to BRING them down & that is why your tactics are perceived to them as annoying than entertaining because you're old news seeking constant attention for YOUR failures ✌🏽 get tf out my life & go cry
Never go back get out stay out
Excellent 😮 thank you for this video
This is getting into Trauma Bond territory, which is dangerous. When the narcissist knows they are losing Control, they can become very angry. Narcissistic rage is scary and unpredictable. I know it hurts but it is better if they lose interest and move on. Otherwise you will be kept in their insane game, forever. :(
I still haven't really been able to find one video out of thousands that relates to my situation. Falling in Love with a friend that's in a relationship then discovering she's a covert narcissist. Then having her get more and more distant and discard me after I told her how I felt about her. There was never any abuse but it was like a mini version of a narcissist relationship. She just gave me the silent treatment and got slightly passive aggressive in a very subtle way so it took me months to figure out what was going on and why I was feeling so much anxiety, then of course I also realized my mother was a narcissist and it was familiar to me wanting a woman that doesn't want me and that made me feel unimportant.
I understand, I had similar experiences only it was more of an absent father issue with me. I was attracted to the quieter type of man I thought that being more shy-like was cute..🙄 Fast forward I tied the knot with a covert, sadistic, Jekyll and Hyde narcissist.😳
Beware of not being locked into the cycle of continuously trying to resolve childhood trauma inflicted at the hand of (a) controlling, narcissistic parent(s). Not really leaving parents behind emotionally, can easily be preventing one from truly cleaving to a future marriage partner. Important for parents to allow their teen/young adult children to individuate towards maturity and becoming truly independent from them. Otherwise they later tend towards emancipating themselves from their marriage partners. Narcissists are known to specifically enter into emotional bonds for the sole purpose of later severing the relationship.
I’m experiencing that from the opposite gender. It is like a mini narcissist relationship and was very damaging. Partly because I knew better and thought I was a better person but still got sucked in!! We’re lucky to be able to walk away with the lesson so quickly.
@@AngelTheCat792 yes that was what happened with me I went through like a high-speed mini relationship with a covert narcissist went through all the stages. the thoughts and emotions but never kissed her and never got physical. I didn't realize it was possible to bond with somebody without even getting physical but then I realized it started to happen before with two other women that were emotionally unavailable . I think I can break the pattern now that I know what it is. I didn't realize before that I was attracting emotionally unavailable women. I still do feel like I have a degree of love for this girl though and that we have unfinished business in the future at some point but maybe that's just my unwillingness to Let Her Go cuz I like her so much🥲
Thank u.u are a very wise person.
That was the most and maybe the only abusive relationship I had.At my 45. I didn't know about narcissism.I learnt because of him.