TikTok Hates The "Time Blindness" Girl
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- čas přidán 18. 07. 2023
- this girl is the enemy of the day for tiktok after posting a clip talking about her "time blindness"
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ok so obviously i wasn’t aware that she has a …. questionable twitter account with questionable views. still doesn’t change my take on it but i think it’s helpful context. so do with that what you will and have a nice day 😸
What was posted on her twitter?
@@sympatheticnerveshe shares some transphobic and questionable pro-life takes
SUSSY
ick!
Hey guys let’s talk about this girl with was attack-
*twitter*
Oh.
As someone with time blindness, I will tell you it is not just about being to work on time. It includes time management, project management, cooking times, doing a task every few hours, and any task involving time. There are a lot of jobs that don’t allow you to have your phone on you. Accommodations can be as simple as giving them a timer, or asking someone to check in with you to make sure you’re on task. Everyone assuming time blindness only means being late shows that most people don’t actually understand the root of the issue, nor do they care to learn.
“Cooking time”
Omg yessss. I stopped offering to cook dinner for my best friend after one time it took me from 11p until 3am to just prep all the items.
Didn’t eat it until 6:30am the next day and fell asleep while eating.
Idk what happened to my brain, I used to be able to at least cook a meal. But rn, I can’t do so many things cos my adhd symptoms are ruining my life.
As someone with time blindness aswell thanks for saying this because your so on point, like i also get this with my autism but a lot of people see disability’s but don’t actually realise or try to accept that you actually are disabled and how far that can go and is not just a few quirks its like an umbrella of difficulties, and you said it so perfectly xx
THANK YOU! My gods the amount of crap I deal with because of time blindness and people not understanding.
not to mention the constant anxiety about being late, and the overwhelming guilt because you got yelled at so many times for losing track of time.
Makes sense to me. People are born with dyslexia, face blindness, other conditions that mean they struggle with certain aspects of life that most people take for granted. “Time blindness” makes perfect sense when you think of it that way.
In my experience, people act like they care about mental illness until they meet someone with symptoms of that mental illness. They'll act like they care about autistic people then make fun of them for not getting jokes easily or they'll act like they care about depressed folks until those people can't get out of bed. It's incredibly frustrating.
No because the amount of people who have dunked on OCD people for having intrusive thoughts or they hate on depressed people for having a "depression room" or issues with brushing their teeth/self care is INSANE. They all want to believe disabilities and mental illness is actually just some cute quirky thing I guess
Ppl who joke about intrusive thoughts or ocd when they meet someone with intrusive thoughts or ocd: 😟😟😨😣
@@uniquenewyork3325 reminds me of when tiktok dog piled on a girl for being "racist" because she was informing people about intrusive thoughts and destigmatizing it
@@HeyHebi Like people are really so surprised that people get so depressed they don't brush their teeth every day, it's ridiculous. Some people get so depressed they k*** themselves. I'd rather have an alive friend with stinky breath and greasy hair and a messy room than a dead friend.
I've also seen this happen with autism. Sure, people think my autism is fun or quirky when I say something unintentionally funny with a deadpan look or when I can talk about my special interests forever, but have a meltdown or be particular about certain foods or textures and all of the sudden you are immature and childish and need to get over it and grow up.
The problem is that a lot of people will blame their bad behaviour on their mental or physical illness, and people are sick of it. I have bpd ptsd and a few different things but I've been making sure to get treatment and not make my illness other people's problems. We are not incapable, we can find other ways to accommodate ourselves. I find setting alarms has change my life for the time blindess and I'm still always 30 minutes early because I know myself enough work with my disabilities.
It's crazy how ADHD has become 'trendy' and people say 'everyone's got ADHD nowadays' but the online reaction to her video really shows people know nothing about the disorder, they just think it's being energetic and quirky meanwhile its a debilitating disability, with time blindness being a huge cause of it being so. People don't realise how much of our life revolves around time and not being able to have a concept of how long something is going to take or how long you've been doing something for etc. really disrupts it.
Great video and thank you for approaching it with such a compassionate point of view.
@@i_brought_a_flower just because it works that way for you doesn't mean it does for everyone. I am in my thirties too and i still struggle to even feed myself or walk my dog on time. And no, alarms dont work for me.
and also if "everybody" has it, then it doesn't mean they should be treated poorly. Regardless if the condition is common or not? That and the internet makes it easier for people to talk about it.
My roommate came home one day and said she looked up some of the symptoms of ADHD and apologized to me. She said she thought it was literally just getting more distracted, and she felt so bad about all the little things she’s gotten annoyed at me for in the past that she realized are just my symptoms. It reminded me just how little most people know about ADHD. It was also really nice and validating.
Okay, it’s not “debilitating.” It’s rly hard, and, for some people, much more than others. However, I feel like it’s kinda invalidating to people with actual debilitating disabilities to label it as such.
Do I struggle with emotion regulation? Yes. Does that mean people should accommodate me and be okay with my behavior when I feel a certain way? No!
Do I have a extreme lack of motivation. Absolutely. Does that mean I can lay in my bed all day and do nothing?
Those are just to list a few things. At the end of the day, Adhd is a very common thing and it is treatable. There is medicine, which helps with pretty much every part of it (yes we are having a shortage rn but it should be resolved in fall when the new quota estimate whatever the duck it’s called is negotiated). Some people don’t want to take medicin, that’s fine, it’s there choice. That means it’s on them to find a way to work around their own adhd. Without mitivation it is rly hard, and you need to be really, really, really self disciplined.
Even taking medicine it’s hard. Growing up experiencing bullying sucks. It all sucks, but, we can and have and will make it it work. And, let’s be honest we end up being all the stronger for it.
That’s my speeeeaalll
@@CoziB7 are you saying adhd is not an actual debilitating disability? why? do you have adhd and you're telling people with adhd to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and that it's not that deep? and to find a way to navigate it themselves without asking for accommodations because you've managed to keep it under control? cause it kinda sounds like it.
Or do you not have adhd and you're seeing the difficulties they face not as severe as those who who are blind, deaf or need wheelchairs. When you say actual debilitating disabilities, do you think of physical disabilities, like the ones I mentioned and you don't find mental illnesses, like adhd, to count as a debilitating disabilities?
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 21. Asking for accommodations is scary and embarrassing and being laughed at for it is like my biggest fear coming true. Also having alarms going off constantly can help you keep track of time, but people with ADHD often also have heightened anxiety and the alarms ringing every 20 minutes or whatever can turn you into a nervous wreck
Understandable. I tried doing the 5 minute alarm suggestion a while back. I just became overwhelmingly anxious about how much time was between them rather than the task itself. Sucks.
i set alarms to take my medication and sometimes i honestly just turn that shit off bc i forget why i set the alarm in the first place and it's loud and annoying. then the next day i'm like. why do i have withdrawal symptoms??? weird...
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 26 (I'm 28 now), but I have Auditory Processing Disorder where it's like I can hear perfectly, it's just my brain isn't connected to my ears. And so I had to ask for accommodations that were more in line with ADHD than my APD (I know that the two are linked it's why I always knew I had ADHD). And it sucks, and it hurts. But I don't think I could've passed my classes w/o the accommodations. Especially my Italian classes, but I think I got like a Distinction in it, so pretty good.
@@mxmissy I'm currently in college and I'm incredibly grateful for the accommodations I've been given so far. A bit of effort to support people's needs can make such a big difference
Bro I ALWAYS have to have alarms on to do EVERYTHING in my life and guide me on my day to day even just to eat and it's so entirely frustrating cuz a) that's a lot of loud and im also autistic so Audhd means I get EXTRA overstimulated but b) why can't I just fucking be like everyone else and function without them?? That's not fair. Who's idea was this
I hate how needing accommodations for invisible disabilities is always seen by the non-disabled as trying to get out of work or wanting special treatment. Those stigmas stopped me from getting the accommodations I needed for a long time, and every semester I'm still terrified to chat with my professors about my accommodations or even use those accommodations when my conditions are acting up :(
If this makes you feel better your professors and employers are legally REQUIRED to listen to you and give you reasonable accommodations. Get educated about your human rights under the ADA and you’ll feel much more confident asking for support
@@maddieb.4282 theyre legally required but theyre still assholes about it
Insert Elon Musk’s stupid Twitter firing a highly valued disabled European man mistake that almost cost the company millions of dollars right here
@@maddieb.4282 The problem with this is that the social stigma of asking for accommodations with an invisible disability does not cease to exist just because employers/professors have a legal obligation to provide them. Personally, I am aware they cannot refuse accommodations, but I always feel horrible asking for them. They may be unlikely to reject me to my face, but they can still think less of me as a person and downplay my abilities as a student.
Yeah I think those people on Tiktok are being rude and being like "just set alarms" and "wants to be late". Alarms might help some people but it really isn't as simple as setting an alarm in many cases. Sometimes, you'll forget to set it, get distracted after you turn it off, etc etc the scenarios where an alarm is not effective are numerous. Also, with the wants to be late part, that's not true because a. Timeblindness is not as simple as being late (although that is a part of it) b. Wanting accommodations for your disability isn't using your disability "as an excuse"
Anyway I think this whole thing of "Timeblindness girl" ignores her anti trans and anti abortion views, which should be discussed instead
As someone who struggles with time blindness (AuDHD), I was nervous to click on this video. Thank you for being compassionate. It really is a humongous struggle. Meds help a bit, but I will never be able to perceive time in the same way a neurotypical person does. It's not something cute or quirky; it's genuinely debilitating
!!!!!!!
Thank you for commenting and sharing your own experience. This helped me understand AuDHD
@@shinigami9816 thanks for listening! 💜 I'm really passionate about spreading knowledge and acceptance of neurodivergence
Same. I dont have a diagnosis but time blindness is a huge fucking thing for me and it's extremely demoralizing. I tried to explain why but as a 30YO old woman its embarrassing.
@@Noise_floorxxas a 30 year old lady that struggles with this, I agree. I think this is why there’s so many late diagnosis in women in their 30s bc little quirks and shit we were supposed to “grow out of” we’re still doing and people finally realize it’s more than just being on another planet or whatever
As a therapist who both "has ADHD", and specializes in treating it, this video and the drama surrounding it really highlights how little most people know about ADHD, and the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders in general. I see a lot of people throwing around terminology on the internet these days who have no idea what they are talking about. Narcissism, gaslighting, and ADHD seem to be the most commonly used and deeply misunderstood.
The DSM was a tool created for professionals to better understand clusters of symptoms and how to treat them. It then later evolved into a tool for insurance reimbursement (which turns out to be incredibly problematic). As mental health treatment has become less stigmatized and information about diagnosis and symptoms easier to access it has caused some major growing pains in our culture, mainly people pathologizing everything and deciding they have this or that without ever getting properly evaluated, and then blasting their beliefs and misinformed opinions all over the internet like they are facts. In the scenario Nick is commenting on both the girl and the people who had such a strong reaction to her were in the wrong. In short - I agree with Nick's take 😂
As a general rule of thumb, if you have a strong reaction to something on the internet pause and ask yourself, "why does this bother me so much?" Being curious, about yourself and others, will take you a lot further than reacting out of emotion and then putting that reaction online.
I agree with you, I have ADHD myself (recently diagnosed) and only just discovered what time blindness is after this video. Says a lot about the education about these things. I wish that mental disabilities get some coverage in school at least, because leaving this education to the internet has gone horribly (misinformation, mental illness faking, misunderstanding, and romanticizing to say the least). I find that most people with strong ideas & takes on mental disabilities on social media are teenagers, so it's definitely something to be looked into at schools- especially because a lot more people are getting diagnosed and treated in the past few years.
Should be top comment.
Ty for commenting. I have adhd and the lack of empathy or understanding is really demoralizing. I think in some ways, people think it's either already accommodated for or is just about being late.
One of my accommodations is actually that my boss holds me accountable but there's reasonable wiggle room. Like if I'm late, it's usually by 5 minutes. So I have a 10 minute window.
I have a flexible time to take my lunch and I am allowed to make up time or work late and leave a few minutes early another day.
Job where the clock in procedure isn't streamlined, or everything has a 3 minute margin of error, or everything has to start at x time just doesn't allow me to work well.
To those jobs I just say "thank you but I'm not a good fit." My job is very grateful to those places because I've saved them a lot of money because I'm a fast learner and good at my job.
can i ask what type of job you work at? i have the same issues and have been trying to find a job suitable for me but i have very limited options
That’s an insightful take!
I asked myself the “why does this bother me so much?” question and I think it’s because I seem to struggle with a lot of these issues that people with ADHD talk about, while not being sure if I’m just trying to pathologize (?) myself.
For reference, I’m a doctor, though not a psychiatrist. I’ve seen a psychiatrist and while he was helpful, he didn’t mention anything about ADHD (I didn’t ask specifically either). That just leaves me confused about how so many people seem to talk about these symptoms that aren’t a part of the DSM or textbooks. Is it that misunderstood? Do most psychiatrists also have less understanding of ADHD (especially since I live in a third world country)? Or am I just making excuses for my own shortcomings by searching for a “valid reason” to explain them?
I came into this video bracing myself dude, I'm so used to people clowning on ADHD symptoms like time blindness, so it was nice to hear you talk about your own ADHD and give reasonable takes here. I have so much trouble with time, it's ruined tons of things for me. Thankfully I'm employed at a place where I literally can show up any time (within reason like, I can be an hour early or 40 minutes late) and it's fine so long as I do my work by the end of the day. Not everybody has this luxury and it's not feasible in certain fields, but I can't tell you how many times I've lost an opportunity or job or failed something because I can't keep track of time
And for the record, neurotypical people, we are aware that clocks exist. If I could look at a clock at every single second of the day I sure could keep track of time. The issue is that internal clock, that rhythm y'all keep when you check the clock and then look away, is utterly lost on us. I can look away from the clock and minutes later be TOTALLY unsure how much time has passed. Alarms help, but again, if you don't drop EVERYTHING the minute it goes off to go do the thing, moments later that alarm may as well not have existed. We are literally not being lazy here lol
Exactly!
Also, glad you've found a job that is reasonably flexible, that's awesome :D
You explained the reality of time blindness really well. It's so belittling constantly being told to use alarms and plan ahead as if the whole point is that we CANT JUST DO IT due to the fact that it's never accurate because of how we lack perception of time.
Hahaha yah and when I do check the time I have to check like 4 times in a row bc ill keep forgetting what it said last time I checked
I completely agree! I’m also very lucky to have a job that is flexible about arrival time. Another good example of how ADHD symptoms can cause me specifically to be late is that often I leave for work on time (usually early actually) but when I get there I realize I forgot something that is required for me to actually do my job effectively like my keys! Can’t get in without them some days! So I have to go back home to grab them, basically tripling my drive time lmao. And I’ve done my best to find way to not forget stuff but it will always happen occasionally no matter how hard I try unfortunately. One of my friends with ADHD as well works a factory job which are usually the places with the worst policies about lateness, like you only get three strikes before you’re fired. She arrives to work like an hour early bc of that, and it just sucks bc she shouldn’t have to.
I think my biggest problem with using an alarm (I have ADHD) is that I sometimes forget to make one or I forget to activate it, or I set it incorrectly by accident (am and pm confuse me sometimes). I literally panicked thinking I just missed a haircut appointment today because I didn't set an alarm, turns out the appointment is tomorrow and I literally forgot what day it was. I dunno it really sucks seeing so many people not understanding and hating, reminds me too much of my own experiences. Also that job sounds awesome, I need to get me one of those
My friend works for the NHS in the UK and she actually does get accommodations for ADHD and time blindness. She has a scheduling assistant that prompts her to do work at certain times, helps her work out how long things will take, cycles through work in set periods. It’s really good and support actually does exist.
that's incredible. I might ask my school if I can set up something similar
That sounds amazing :,) I’m happy for your friend! Hopefully we can get this type of understanding and accommodations to be allowed elsewhere :,,)))
Omg...I teared up hearing that this exists. If only the US did this for those of us with ADHD. T^T
me too! i'm a teacher and i've been given occasional morning aides to help make sure my students are being supervised if i'm not feeling well in the morning (other disabilities) or if i'm running late.
@@shesmyvampireu know there are alarms u can set on your phone? Plenty of people in comment section from videos of her, have adhd and say they can manage. Don't act like a 5 year old.
I am a person with a pretty common disability (cerebral palsy) and I think we need to work on being more accepting of accommodations, regardless of condition. The thing that sucks about this scenario is that belittling time blindness makes accommodations more stigmatized and people will be less likely to ask for accommodations. I agree with Nick’s take that at the end of the day “who cares?” because accommodations do not affect ANYBODY except the person who is trying to get them. You aren’t negatively affected by people having accommodations and getting the support they need to succeed. Overall I think people with disabilities just deserve better.
Seems pretty common for people to judge others for getting special treatment, at least in the US. My ex had a handicap placard because she had bone lesions, but she looked perfectly healthy. The amount of nasty looks we would get whenever she parked on campus was astounding
Exactly.
@@lordfarquaad6339 Idk for sure if it’s just a US thing, but people seem to show such disdain for disabled people who don’t “look” disabled. Like if you don’t fit what they see as disabled then they instantly think you’re faking it.
THIS. This. I feel like everyone’s reactions in the tiktok comments to her video was unnecessary. I’m tired of people caring so much about what other people deem they need to get somewhere in life. Accommodations help so many people, including myself which I have as a high schooler. People really need to calm down and stop caring about the lives of others.
No, you think people with disabilities should have more rights and privileges, it's incredibly just then people without not what you're saying. In this scenario, you think the co-workers of hers should have to stay late or get there early to make accommodations for her. Because that's what would have to happen in these scenarios. But you don't care about them, just her.
When I worked with kids who struggled with dyscalculia - similar to dyslexia but with number-related tasks - we made accommodations for time blindness. It isn't only ADHD sufferers who experience these challenges.
I’m glad there are people actually helping kids with dyscalculia. I only got diagnosed after I was basically forced to drop out because I had taken and failed the same algebra class three years in a row. It got to a point where my electives got taken away and I was doing math for three hours a day, usually ending the day crying or mentally exhausted.
I also wasn’t allowed to go to clubs after school or attend a lot of school events because those were seen as a privilege. It was incredibly isolating and traumatizing and, of course, because I was so torn up and exhausted it rippled out and caused my other grades to tank and made me give up on my education altogether.
Even now I won’t even try to do any math because it brings up this awful gut feeling. I have terrible time blindness and I manage to not be late because I literally just stare at the clock to the point that I can’t get anything else done. I’m just glad that at least some kids with my condition aren’t going through what I did because it hurts to even think about it still. Kids deserve to be met with compassion when they struggle with something. No one chooses to fail.
@@LostApotheosis I am so sorry to hear how hard you struggled without support. As I'm sure you're aware, kids with dyscalculia are often smarter than the rest of us because you develop your other skills to make up for the problems with number comprehension. And successfully managing dyscalculia is almost entirely dependent on a strong support system! A lot of the help I was providing was less about the kids and more about educating their parents and teachers on how to accommodate a child who perceives the world differently. I'm sure your parents thought that taking away social activities would be a strong motivation for improved grades, but it's so frustrating that they didn't change their approach when that didn't work, especially when it became clear how isolated you felt.
You deserved better from the adults around you - and like you said - hopefully dyscalculic kids today have an easier time getting help and support.
@@clairepettie Yeah, I found out later that I’m hyperlexic which helped me coast by and also made me fly under the radar. The weird thing is it wasn’t actually my parents that kept me from doing all of those things, it was the school. I realize now that my parents should have advocated for me instead of letting the school do all those things. As a kid I just assumed the school knew best, but as an adult I realize how ableist and lacking empathy their actions were.
@@LostApotheosis I'm glad your folks were as supportive as they knew how to be. I dealt with too many families who just blamed the child for "not getting it." (Extra frustrating since it's not uncommon for dyscalculia to run in families. Once they really understood the issue, I'd hear comments like "Oh yeah, my uncle cant drive a stick shift or program numbers into his phone.")
It took a LONG time for public schools to recognize learning disorders, and longer before they started identifying even the most common ones like dyslexia, (let alone doing anything about it beyond simply informing the parents.) There is still a lot of ignorance around dyscalculia, but it's finally starting to be identified in younger children, which is usually the first step toward change in the classroom. Hyperlexia is a term that was rarely used for anyone outside of the autism spectrum for years, and even then it wasn't really recognized as a mechanism for learning around a separate disorder in school.
Truly, every kid deserves better than what you described. It's hard not to wonder why the school didn't try something new after their attempts to punish and isolate you failed to improve your math grades, but that's the benefit of hindsight. I know that when I taught in classrooms that were severely overcrowded, it was so much harder to spot and differentiate learning disorders in the students. I hate the idea that one of my students might have gone through something similar, and I just didn't see it, you know?
SO THAT'S WHAT ITS CALLED!!!! How do I learn more about this specifically/what are typical accommodations that are practical for colleges or workplaces to provide?
I think if she just asked for accommodations for her adhd and mentioned time blindness as a trait, people wouldn’t have come for her that hard
Very true! But I saw somewhere she said she doesn’t even have adhd so… :/
I think the issue here is people, as usual, not understanding what a disability is and how it works. People just have this assumption that disabled people have a slightly harder time but just don't try hard enough. That's just not how it works. And there's already still so many people who don't understand ADHD being a disability, and that different people can have different levels of severity. Just telling someone "try harder" at just.. not having their disability basically isn't helpful.
I've heard multiple people say stuff like "Oh everyone has adhd" it's like the new "everyone has anxiety" noooo they don't. People don't take it seriously because they think it's just procrastinating or whatever.
For most of my life I saw my adhd as just “a thing I have that makes focusing a little harder than usual” like if I just tried harder, I’d be practically the same as someone who didn’t have adhd. That’s how it always seemed to be framed as. So when I was trying as hard as I could and still was falling behind and failing I just felt like I wasn’t good enough and it was a personal failing, rather than me trying to fight against my brain. Now that I understand adhd and how it impacts the way my brain works I have been doing so much better. Not perfect by any means, but definitely an improvement, and I don’t blame myself as much for being different and having a hard time
People don’t realize how absolutely exhausting ADHD can be. Constantly trying your hardest to meet the simple demands of life, being intelligent enough to realize the issues but not being able to accomplish your goals. Its taken me a long time to get to a place where I don’t feel like my life is going to burn down around me because I forgot something important.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Absolutely! I was diagnosed with a few disabilities at 17 and had no idea that they were even classified as disabilities until I was in my early 20s. I didn’t know what an IEP or 504 was until I was in college, majoring in education. I found out my SENIOR YEAR of college that I could have been getting accommodations in high school & college for my disabilities that made school 10x harder than it had to be. Now I advocate for people to request accommodations if they have a diagnosis that affects their school or work so that they don’t have to suffer like I did!
True, that's def the mentality ppl have. Honestly seeing this situation is so upsetting. Ive grown up hiding my adhd bc teachers would see my accomodations and assume that I was using my adhd as an excuse when I never I never even brought it up. They couldn't understand that someone like me who they saw as "smart" could ever struggle w the things i struggled with so they assumed I just wasn't trying hard enough. I'm so scared of ppl thinking I'm entitled for wanting any accomodations that I still feel like I have to shut up about it.
Personally I never got TikToks making fun of her adhd but I DID get a lot of tiktoks on my fyp making fun of her being uber transphobic and pro life. Obviously I know tons of people were making fun of her for the time blindness thing but just putting the other side out there! Also maybe if she clarified and said “do you have accommodations for people with adhd?” And then go from there. People went way too hard on the time blindness thing but a lot skipped over the transphobia.
She confirmed somewhere that she doesn’t have ADHD or any other disorder. She is completely neurotypical, she just struggles to keep track of time
I got the same videos.
oh wow i think that's important to point out when we are reviewing how ppl are treating her.
im trans and i only got videos making fun of the concept of time blindness. people defending her are just defending her point about time blindness
i honestly had no idea she was a terf until just now, wild how a llot of people talking about this just wanna focus on "haha gen z cringe" and completely gloss over the actual issue of her being a terf. like the time blindness thing is such a non-issue why is that what people decided to make into drama
As someone who wasn't disagnosed with ADHD until I was 28, time blindness is something I always had to the point that I was the one my friends would joke about saying, "oh, if you want her to show up on time, you have to tell her it starts a 6 instead of 7." Despite my efforts of planning to be somewhere on time, I would without fail be late for almost everything, even fun things, like movies, get togethers, dates, etc. Sometimes I forget to set alarms or an alarm goes off and I've been wrong about how long getting ready would take, and it's a really shitty feeling to wind up being late or getting yelled at even when you did actually try your best. At my current job, I have a supervisor who has adhd (but it's really well managed) and 2 kids with adhd, and every so often he'll send me a message on teams (we work remotely) asking if I've touched all of my different worklists and clients. It's not a huge thing, but it's nice to have an external reminder and a supervisor who's approachable and open enough to work with me to make sure I'm doing my best at work.
I think we really need more people open to listening and being more understanding of something we can't control and that can be a struggle even when we try.
This is also my experience. I've just been diagnosed a few months back at 32, I'm so scared and embarrassed to be late (while I cannot help it) that I struggle with shutting myself in. I miss important deadlines all the time. I finally was able to explain to my bosses what's going on but they haven't dealt with this before and it's a daily struggle. People don't realize how exhausting and crippling this symptom is.
Hello fellow late-diagnosee (26 here). I have severe time blindness too. To the point of being late to every other therapist appointment for years and them still never figuring out what was 'wrong' with me, lol
There's no such thing as time blindness dmbfk. Buy an alarm clock
That’s really lovely! Glad to know there are some good supervisors out there!
Man, I'm so impressed with your take. So refreshing and compassionate. You're setting a good example with this honestly. I came for the drama and now I'm walking away reflecting about assumptions and measured reactions
listening to nick describe his adhd and how it was for him feels really nice to hear. i have very similar experiences and feelings as him and grew up in the “just focus.” “i can do this, why can’t you?” “you’re smart, but have no motivation.” etc. type household. it’s validating
This is kinda different. This is just something that everyone does. There are literal things that you can do physically that you can do to not have this problem. It’s not a symptom this is absolutely ridiculous.
yea it felt nice to hear him talk abt that. i saw the thumbnail/title and i was scared he was going to make fun of this girl for something she can't control, but when he said he has adhd as well it was like a sigh of relief lmao
If you ever want to find more adult adhd oriented content, howtoadhd is a wonderful source!
@@joomz794 are you a researcher focused on adhd? An adhd therapist? someone who has adhd themselves? If not kindly stfu and show yourself out because your input is neither wanted nor warranted :)
@@neilperrysbf2467 now something she CAN control is being a shitty homophobe..
Can't wait to see what neurological disorder tiktok makes fun of today!
Who cares lol people who use TikTok are allowed to have opinions on you lot’s made up “disorders”
This is so true oh my god
*normal human failing the internet pathologizes?
As an old lady millennial that has both MS and bipolar I am rather tempted every day to make the plunge into making a TikTok and fighting people. I’m legally disabled at 28 and before MS I made life work with bipolar. It can be done if you want it to be done.
@@ceterisparabolas ate her up
As someone who has ADHD and struggles from it, im happy with how you approached and handled this topic. A lot of people glorify ADHD (and the internet doesn’t help with that) and make it to be some happy goofy thing, but it actually makes so many hurdles in day to day life that people don’t understand and don’t try to understand. I went on my own little rants to myself while watching this because some of these people frustrate me.
the point of accommodations is to make sure the work does get done when it needs to be done. one accommodation for time blindness is moving deadlines CLOSER. extending deadlines rarely helps with time blindness, allowing lateness makes just the person more late and enables the blindness. professors will give students w ADHD EARLIER deadlines so that assignments turned in “late” are actually on time!!! it’s not about letting people slack off, it’s about helping people do what’s expected of them
Wow, I hadn’t heard of that accommodation before. I wonder if that would’ve helped me in college.
That sounds like it would have been genuinely helpful for me, but approximately 0% of the people I knew asking for deadline accommodations in college would have accepted that. They would have thrown a fit about how they weren’t getting extensions like they wanted and probably even made posts accusing professors of discrimination and ableism.
As a retail manager I have a team member that has issues with time blindness. the first time this was talked about I was honestly kind of frustrated and confused on why they seriously couldn't change their alarm or just try to plan ahead, but I realized how easy that was for me to say as a neurotypical person. We ended up sitting down and talking about expectations and why they are important- talking about what I could accommodate within my power that would make being on time easier for that person.
Just approaching things with kindness and and open mind can really do amazing things for everyone involved.
You sound like a great manager ❤️
What was the solution?
And the solution was???
You are my hero.
Lol so he stoped being late because you talked nicely to him about why being late to work is not good and how to not be late lol
Honestly the way neurodivergent people are dismissed is painful. Not all disabilities are visible!! People underestimate how much ADHD can ruin your life. It can be hellish for a lot of people!
I realized after 30 why I had always felt like such a failure and a mess of a person who couldn't do things like everyone else, and now I know why. It still sucks but at least I don't feel as alone, and I've learned to stop asking myself "why can't I do xyz" and instead ask "what is another way I can get this done that actually works for me?" That change alone has improved so much in my life.
The time blindness, forgetting to check emails and texts, getting stuck on one thing for five hrs or not being able to stick to something for five seconds, having to physically be forced to do important things, missing important dates or meetings, coming off as annoying for clicking or tapping or zoning out in the middle of conversation, it's not cute it's frustrating. Plus you come off as insensitive when you forget details about someone like their birthday or can't match the name to their face.
Well said.
I’m a failure in every way possible thanks to my disabilities and no job wants to accommodate. And I can’t seem to stay on task on anything it’s hell. I want to do it. I stab my legs to keep on it, but eventually my mind slips and I forget the task. It really is a personal hell. And hazing no sense of time passing I thought was something only I suffered alone. So while I’m happy I’m not alone, I really wouldn’t wish this kind of torture on anyone and I feel bad for those that suffer and everyone around them probably thinks they are selfish with their time, when it’s not the case at all.
@@_Chessa_you aren't a failure, your disabilities make it hard for you to adjust to things that were made for people who aren't like you. It's like being super tall in a country where everyone else is super short, you wouldn't be a failure bc you can't walk normally through a five foot tall doorway
Usually I would agree with this but she did confirm somewhere that she does not have ADHD
Okay but as someone who has many struggles and mental disorders, including ADHD, you HAVE to learn to cope. You can't expect a company to pay someone who is unable to show up on time. And honestly they shouldn't have to.
Set alarms. Take a job with a later shift. Or an earlier shift. Go to work much earlier than needed. It sucks but also necessary.
I don't enjoy sitting in front of my office for an hour just to make sure I'm on time but it's what I have to do to make sure I'm on time.
I just don't understand why there's even a conversation about how we can accommodate those who struggle with timeblindness instead of finding what works to cope with it so you can take care of yourself.
Things are really hard sometimes but it doesn't mean we don't have to do them...
Basically, it's understandable that she struggles and to hope for things to be easier but honestly if this is a big issue for her, she needs professional help and not the internet at this point, so she can learn to cope with it while still holding down responsibilities. Kbai
exactly. i hate saying shit like this because it truly does sound like boomerism, but you cant expect people to make your life easier, especially when they have literally no need to (ex. having plenty of other options for new hires other than you). you have to find a way to do it yourself. this isnt about how the world should be, it's about how the world IS. youre gonna be with yourself for the rest of your life, so you have to make the effort to help yourself manage life and attempt to make each day easier because literally no one else is gonna do it for you, they have no reason to. in a smarter world, everyone would benefit from work accommodations, but the world isnt smart.
I really hope that if zoomers take anything from this whole thing it's that you should absolutely avoid oversharing your health-related limitations with employers. The more information they know, the more they will meet you with contention just like the vitriol she was met with when stating what her actual symptom was. If you have problems being on time, whether it's ADHD or migraines or chronic illness, talk to a doctor and get some kind of work restriction or paperwork that ONLY states that you have this issue and that it's medically-related and that you may need accommodations, though like its mentioned here, a lot of places may not offer that. At the very least medical paperwork can be used to avoid any punishment/corrective action that may come from tardiness. But overall, I implore zoomers to know that no one needs to know the reason you need accommodations, employers WILL use that information against you if they do not understand it.
And if it's lifelong, get on the paper that it will not change. I fucked that up and a job tried to say I needed to continuously prove it with a new note every quarter.
In the United States, employers are legally required to provide you with reasonable accommodation for any disability, so if ADHD is what is causing time blindness, employers have to accommodate you. Thanks Americans with Disabilities Act!!!
It’s illegal for employers to discriminate based on your disability
@thetalker221 sure but places find workarounds all the time and how are you gonna get a lawyer? You're disabled and unemployed. You just share what they need to know for you to get your accommodations.
@@thetalker221but they’ll do it anyways
She never even said anything about being late. It just goes to show me just how people think others with disabilities are "lazy". I had an alarm that would ding every 5 minutes because I would constantly lose track of time doing the most mundane things, and it never helped resolve the issue, I just had to work with it. I'd show up to work an hour early. My "accommodation" was the ability to be extra early, sit at my desk, and read a book, so I wouldn't risk being late. Another was that someone would come around at 45 after just to be sure I had clocked out. Not everything is about not meeting the same expectations or being a "victim". It's about managing symptoms that would otherwise destroy your life, or place you under disability without some sort of accommodations.
Tell you right now, when you're young and you realize you have problems, no one believes you, or they just think you're just lazy. Then as you get older its expected that you must be telling the truth, as if age is this magic rectifier? My life could have been very different had people just listened when I was younger. So when I see people like her get smashed like that, I have to wonder, would you be doing that to some 90y/o grandma? Probably not. Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to pathologize young age as being some form of magical boon against any and all psychological/physical disability?
I think people tool that and ran bc she said “struggle with being on time” but your point still stands!
i have the same accomodation at my job, i come about 45 min early and chill there until the workday starts bc when i don’t, im almost always late. time blindness sucks SO BAD bc there’s no way to train yourself into perceiving time the way other people do - the idea of “this task will take x minutes” is incomprehensible to me no matter how much effort i put into it
@@lydiamvaughanexactly. She’s the one who suggested that was her struggle.
@@kaleighb7084 that last part of your comment reminds me of "this recipe only takes 45 minutes to make!" like haha yeah okay dude I'll be working on this for at least an hour and half
This isn’t a disability. It’s laziness and irresponsibility.
Before I got diagnosed and on medication, my time blindness got so bad I was convinced I had something severely wrong with my brain like a tumor. It was terrifying to have six hours pass by and be completely unaware of it. I felt like I had time traveled or that there was a glitch in the matrix. Now I'd say I'm just poor at estimating how much time has passed instead of having my brain completely removed from the passage of time like it was when I was struggling the most. It's oh guess I've been reading for over an hour rather than the 20 minutes I thought versus before it was what do you mean its been six hours what happened what was I doing.
🤚 I'm there with you, except I'm in the first part of that. Meds don't work for me unfortunately. I can lose huge chunks of my day if I'm not careful. Literally unaware that it's been two hours that I've been standing in the bathroom doing random things while I'm supposed to be brushing my teeth.
I've played solitaire for NINE HOURS. I completely zone out sometimes. but yeah, my adhd is something I have to work with because I can't go to the doctor's at 7pm.
Bro I literally drew from morning to night today and it felt like nothing at all. I was like "oh im gonna work on my poster after this and a few more drawings" BUT I LITERALLY SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY ON ONE DRAWING
With loving respect...is there a clock? I absolutely get lost & wrapped up in my mind & activities, but I recognize that I live in this world where time is linear & I have responsibilities that require extra effort beyond my comfort zone.
I'd be very curious to know how many people that lose track of time also have some form of content in the background; podcasts/playlists etc
the “just set an alarm” argument is frustrating for me. i set alarms, many of them! but i always end up turning them off (often subconsciously) because i’m engrossed in a project and i think i’ll only be a couple minutes longer.
i don’t want to be late! i want to be on time for work or for hanging out with friends. i feel awful about myself when i’m not. i understand it’s my issue i need to solve, but it really hurts when people assume i’m lazy or i don’t care. i just genuinely do not perceive time in a productive or realistic way.
medication helps but it’s still a struggle. and “just setting an alarm” doesn’t help as much as one might think.
Sounds like a you problem. Seriously, you're going with the "alarms don't work" argument?
@@a.carneirozhu8104i know this is an old comment but i wanted to say thank you for defending me, i really appreciate it
i don’t blame people for my lateness (maybe a bit when i was an angry teenager but i’ve grown past that) and i fully recognize it’s my issue. i just wish people had a more empathetic mindset regarding less “acceptable” (for lack of a better word) symptoms of mental illness
As someone with ADHD, Time blindness also effect the opposite side. I’ve been late to work many times, and got consequences for that. But I’ve also stayed past my clock out time because I was in the middle of completing tasks. An hour and half or two hours could go by without me realizing work ended a while ago. So, it’s not just getting places on time but also leaving those places on time.
Yeah, said anyone ever. Get over iiiit
I feel - as an adhd person who deals with really bad time blindness and has the object permanence of a slightly intelligent toddler, it’s unfair to claim the only thing she’s using this for is getting to work on time. She could get lost in breaks or doing a specific task for her job. She could get carried away when helping someone. The ONLY thing that you can set alarms for is scheduled times. That’s getting to work, some breaks and clocking out. These accommodations can legit span to just keeping an extra eye on her so that someone can redirect her to the next task with a little “Hey, get working” or just being a bit more lenient on exact times.
Alarms aren’t a quick fix. With adhd I forget to set my alarms, I don’t know how much time/what time I should set it for, I forget my phone, sometimes the alarm goes off and I don’t hear/feel it or I stop it saying “alright, just lemme finish up this small thing” and then forget two seconds later. We don’t know what she struggles with outside of time blindness. She could also struggle with object permanence - which there is no fix for, and other things.
Also, daily reminder since I saw some people in the comments saying shit like “oh, I have bipolar disorder” or “I have depression” whatever whatever excuses to say that they don’t need accommodations. Woopty doo, good for you? Not only do people deal with different severities of things; But adhd is a disability under the ADAA (America’s disability act amendment). Colleges and REQUIRED to offer accommodations if you have proof of anything under the ADAA. I know this as someone with it who just applied to a college and am going through the process. They aren’t required to do anything you ask; But they have to try and suggest things they can do and ask you - if there is smth they can’t do they can modify it.
alarms don’t help because i’m always like “one more minute” and then suddenly it’s been 20 minutes and i always try to get up too early to make sure i have all the time i need in the morning but since i also have a hard time choosing to go to bed and then falling asleep it makes it harder to get out of bed and then i loose track of time while getting ready for work, and setting alarms gives me so much anxiety i spend at least 5 minutes checking over and over that i set it right, alarms are definitely not a quick fix
@@oreotigercati think the discussion still stands even if we’re not talking about her, it’s fucked up to pretend to have ADHD and even more to have the other beliefs she has
I also have time blindness and I have so many alarms set for things, which is fine but it really doesn't help, like you said. There are so many ways it can get you
I also suffer from time blindness, I don't know if it is bc of my autism or undiagnosed ADHD, and the same happens to me, alarms are helpful, but if I forget to set them... Just last week I forgot to put one to take out my menstrual disc, and it stayed in for 24h instead of 12h. Luckily it was not a tampon or it would have been a different outcome.
Thank you for explaining how hard it actually is and how lots of times alarms just don’t work! I’m so sick of being told to just use alarms like it’s literally a toss up if it will or won’t work and even if it does I might end up forgetting STILL. People talking about how annoying it must be for the employer or fellow employees to work with someone like that but I promise us people with adhd also get annoyed our symptoms and they’re incredibly frustrating to deal with! Especially when people act like you aren’t trying hard enough or are doing things on purpose!
I'm a wheelchair user and I have a bunch of physical disabilities. Adhd is a disability, or at least it can be (everyone with adhd is different after all), and asking for accomodations should be normalized. Nobody is gonna ask me 'oh, so why cant you walk, millions of others can do it, just put one foot in front of the other.' The fact that she just asked and got treated like shit is unacceptable
Not really. There’s a reason they’re called reasonable accommodations. This TikTok girl is super entitled, immature and seemingly wants to take no personal responsibility.
Theyre kinda just like that with any type of invisible disability, I have several heart conditions and will pass out after 15 minutes of standing up and have never had a job give me accommodations for it. They are just like oh you want to sit? You want water? No
People in the comments saying “just use a clock and set alarms” is like telling people with reduced mobility “just use clutches or a wheelchair!” as if it makes all your problems disappear. They’re in denial of what having a disability implies.
@@theblacklapinouthe amount of time i wasted trying to work with alarms only for them to make me even later is just insane. like setting them is supposed to keep me on track but they’re just a new different distraction.
@@kathrynb130 nope she's not in this instance. She's not even mad for not getting her accomodations, she's rightfully pissed off because they insulted her because she simply asked. There's a huge difference
Hey Nick! Thanks for talking about being neurodivergent. I have ADHD and Dyslexia and I grew up hating myself for being stupid. It's so nice to hear your story and know other people go through this too.
You were never stupid
I realise I'm a stranger on the Internet- but would you by any chance know a good source of information on Dyslexia? My partner has it and I'd like to understand it more, they struggle to explain it. Totally cool if you don't know anywhere though - just saw Dyslexia and figured I could ask! I have adhd too ❤😅
Yay a fellow OCD/ADHD sufferer! I didn’t get diagnosed with adhd till I completely burnt out at 25. I wasn’t aware of my time blindness till you read out symptoms and my boyfriend literally was like “see?”
as someone with ADHD, i’ve had accommodations in school and am very grateful but time blindness isn’t something that can really be accommodated you know? like all i can think of is professors/bosses being understanding about the occasional lateness.
personally i have an accommodation that says i can’t be punished for having too many tardies to my first hour because my time blindness makes it extremely difficult to get to school and be in class before the bell. it’s helped majorly and i’ve never had issues falling behind because of it.
@gracebatterson44 school and work though are very different.
I personally don't have ADHD but my question this whole time as just been what kind of accommodations is she expecting? like he said in the video it totally depends on what type of job it is but yeah for a lot of jobs being on time is really important. So like, aside from not minding if she gets there a little late or a little early, what else is there that they employer could even do?
an accommodation for "time blindness" would be allowing alarms or something like that. accommodations are assistance to complete a task, not leeway to not complete it at all. i found her video to be extremely annoying based on this fundamental misunderstanding of what an accommodation is
@@morganshryock4847I have adhd and have never received accommodations (too late diagnosis for school, don’t want to announce my disability to my employer). However I have heard of accommodations such as requiring drafts at certain deadlines instead of just a single deadline for a full paper, not being locked out/punished for being within 5 minutes of being on time, etc.
time blindess is absolutely a thing. Dr Russell Barkley, an adhd expert, once said "adhd is near sightedness of the future"
"ADHD creates a blindness to time, or more accurately, a nearsightedness to the future."
Yesss, and people don’t consider how the results of the symptoms cascade into bigger problems. If you underestimate time it takes to do stuff, you get further and further behind. And you’re probably already behind because you struggled to get started. And the stress makes it worse and vice versa
ADHD has to be one of the most alienating mentally illness that I (personally) have to deal with. Things like depression and anxiety have been glamorized in media or generally are more "understood" since they can result in more extreme outcomes.
ADHD on the other hand is sadly a mental illness that most people don't take seriously. 99% of our symptoms are chalked up to laziness and excuses. Every time I have ever, very neutrally mentioned the parts of ADHD I struggle with, I'll get at least 10 strangers coming in with the "Welcome to being an adult" or similar snarky/rude replies. I will never understand the aggression towards this mental illness.
Anything people can’t see, they’ll want to reduce to nothing. Mental illness, trauma, invisible disabilities, you name it.
My own mother refuses to let me even mention my struggles without some remark about how “everyone has that problem” or a “so? get over it”
She called me delusional two days ago for saying that my adhd and chronic pain do in fact make my life harder.
@@Elle... That's horrible. Please never take that kind of response to heart ♥ You know what you're suffering through more than anything ever will.
@@fowlmarlee thank you
The thing is, even depression and anxiety are STILL treated horribly when it comes to not showering, not brushing your teeth, not cleaning your room, staying in and isolating from others, etc. Society very much does not like ANY mental illnesses when they're the gross/inconvenient ones for them.
@@Mirandathekittengaming 💯Totally correct
time blindness is incredibly frustrating. i've been accused of being inconsiderate of other people's time, being lazy, lacking discipline, etc. the truth is when i get up in the morning, i feel like it takes me 5 minutes to pee, brush my teeth, and get dressed. in reality it takes anywhere from 10 to 40 minutes because i cannot process the passage of time. if i check the clock and i have 2 minutes left before my ride gets here, i think "oh, that's plenty of time to change my earrings!" in reality, it takes me 2 minutes to find the earrings i want, another minute to find a place to put my daily earrings so i don't lose them, 5 mins of getting distracted by something else in my way, 3 minutes of switching earrings out until i find just the right pair, and then i realize i need to pee. then i end up making my ride wait 30 minutes because i think it's only been 2 minutes (and chances are i misplaced my phone too ). a 30 minute assignment takes me 2 hours. the 10 minute drive to work somehow takes 20. one second i have 15 minutes to get ready and then i blink and i'm 15 minutes LATE. it makes no sense, and i get that it seems like a bullshit excuse for people without this problem, but its a problem i've had my entire life, gotten in trouble for almost daily, and no amount of alarms, reminders, or planning has ever made a dent. i wish i had the discipline to just fix it. i wish i wasn't like this. i'm not "bad at time management," i just have no concept of it because i don't perceive time the way people are supposed to.
it's sad that our capitalist culture has become so driven by productivity and the 9 to 5 work day that time has become commercial. the idea of "clocking in" and hourly pay for certain jobs genuinely makes me mad sometimes. if i can get the same amount of work done despite being a few minutes late, why should i be penalized for it? as a manager, i almost never penalize my staff for lateness because 1) i do it too and 2) it really isn't that big of a deal because i don't value time as money. time is not a commodity, nor is it something i own that i graciously dole out to people when i make commitments. i view time as an arbitrary guideline for social interaction because of my time blindness and because of my disgust for capitalism. it may get me in trouble but i've learned to stop punishing myself for something i can't control. when i did care about timeliness, i was stressed and anxious 24/7. now i am relaxed and MORE productive even though my time management skills are just as poor as they were when i was a kid. i have learned that my ADHD is a part of me i need to work WITH, not around or against. if that means making people wait a bit, so be it. it's either that or sacrifice my mental health trying to meet a standard that was not made for people like me.
As someone who lived with ADHD, trying to get accomodations was really hard in college. Not because the school couldn't do it, but because I never got around to sending the necessary documents because I ALWAYS forgot. I basically ruined my academic career because of my constant forgetfulness and tardiness in turning in assignments or showing up. Time blindness is one of the worst things that happens to me, especially during school. I would think I'd sit down and spend 2 hours on an assignment, but the next time I check the time, I realize I ended up accidentally pulling an all nighter. Time blindness also impacted when I needed to go to class, where in between my classes I would sit for 15 minutes to rest, but end up being tardy to class because I spent 40 minutes on my phone. When I made plans with my friend, he had to expect me to come by two hours after I told him I would be on my way in 5 minutes. I can try setting alarms to remind me to do things, go places, or even take my medicine, but I will end up snoozing my alarm multiple times and eventually shutting it off and forgetting I needed to do it because I'm distracted doing something else. It's incredibly frustrating and it's demotivating, and it makes me feel like it's impossible for me to keep up with other people my age.
This is exactly what I struggle with. That's why my grades went from an A to D then finally C.
I struggle with the exact same thing!! This comment section is so incredibly validating.
@@anged5142 well, sometimes I HAVE to snooze the alarm because it's the only way I can complete a task I'm working on at the moment or else it goes unfinished. For example, I can struggle for hours to capture my focus enough to get me through 1 assignment, and it can be distracting and demotivating to have to keep hearing an obnoxious alarm (even on vibrate). Sometimes I can predict when my alarm will sound, but most of the time, I forget I set an alarm until it rings, which again, can be distracting from the task I worked so hard to try to focus on. It's not an excuse.
@@anged5142 because our brain functions differently? How is telling us to just not hit snooze different than telling us to just focus? If it was tht easy it wouldnt be a debilitating disabiliy for so many people...
I am someone who personally struggles with time blindness and it can definitely impact how well you’re able to do your job! This is just one example, but an accommodation that might be helpful to me would actually be someone to remind me to take breaks. When i get really focused into a task, i can lose all sense of time and that can mean i skip meals or forget to take breaks, which legally can even get the company in trouble.
Ultimately, without her telling us about the nature of the job or what kind of accommodations she was looking for, we just can’t make snap judgements calling her unreasonable.
The perception of time is actually one of the main issues with ADHD, it affects our focus. I am glad people are talking about because it takes a huge toll on people with ADHD.
a lot of neurotypical people in my experience fail to or fundamentally cannot understand how truly crippling and debilitating time blindness can be at times. Not only does it keep some people (myself included) from accomplishing any tasks on a day where they have an obligation, but also causes days and then weeks and months to just completely slip by and you were only able to focus on your one obligation (job, school etc.). This loss of time can also lead to anxiety and depression as the weight of all of the things you didn’t do bears down on you, and before you know it you’re spiraling out of control. it isn’t just poor time management or laziness, and it can be extremely difficult to break out of or learn to manage
it's hell
Honestly at this point, I don't think neurotypical people don't understand neurodivergent traits, but rather they refuse to. They're often rude and dismissive to these types of things. "Get over it" energy. I feel like that's exactly what's going on here and its scary to me how badly the internet bullied this girl.
Yknow what fucks me up is like
How personally offended they are about giving us accommodation.
My partner and I both have adhd and it is soooooo fucking hard sometimes for us to accommodate one another’s conflicting sensory needs but i try anyway bc i love him and i want him around????
if i have adhd and can accommodate someone with adhd then neurotypicals have no excuse.
my bfs brother really really wants a small wedding and cant due to family pressures
bc of my adhd and autism i need a support worker and he wanted so badly to have as few people around as possible and so he bit the bullet and asked me what my support worker did for me and he felt like an asshole for even asking
and yeah for a second i felt frustrated that i had to answer. but deep down i knew he wouldnt have asked unless he really really had a good reason. and he knew i wouldnt ask for her to come unless i had a really really good reason.
the fact that her mom cant offer her that grace is so disgusting
... you are responsible for your own mental and physical health. I have bpd, sever depression and I do struggle with time blindness but I don't make it other people's problems nor do I expected people to pay me for not being a reliable employee. Stop feeling entitled to special treatment. I'm always at least 30 minutes early to everything cut if I don't I will be late by over an hour.
can we take a moment to appreciate nick for saying “people who experience this symptom” instead of “people with adhd”?
it’s nice to hear a non-generalising take.
No you're absolutely right Nick. Someone gets dog piled on and then when it ends up causing them great harm everyone acts shocked and turns around and pretends like they weren't apart of the group that was clowning on them.
There are of course times when it's a good thing to have the court of public opinion ruthlessly criticize someone, but we should be so careful and conscious about who we are doing it to. We should be punching up not down. People get incredibly careless about who they mock online and it's very frustrating because we constantly challenge boomers on not being empathetic but then turn around and do the same thing.
Edit: I think a lot of it too comes from disability and mental health gatekeeping, where people get very toxic and invalidate other people's experiences because their insecurities tell them someone else's experience threatens the validity of their own.
this comment is spot on imo
This
As someone who does not experience time blindness, but has worked aloneside/lived with people that do have time blindess/adhd/ect, I've found it INCREDIBLY difficult to discern if it's an actual struggle the person has or if they're just really inconsiderate with others' time. Even with the best intentions and great communication, it's really hard to figure out.
Why not just err on the side of caution and assume that it's not malice? Usually there are other tells if someone is being an asshole.
It’s already great that your aware of the fact that it might not be always malice or lack of respect :)
Most just immediately think of malice.
In my opinion, it kind of depends on the individual's personality. Like are they a generally trustworthy/kind/respectful person, and it's only when it comes to time that they are "inconsiderate"? Or are they generally an asshole and the lateness is an extension of that? That's just my experience though, I also don't have time blindness but have a good friend with ADHD who is the sweetest person but cannot manage her time to save her life. But because she's such a good person I know it isn't coming from lack of consideration.
this video feels so validating, thank you nick! sometimes i feel like i’m going crazy being on such a different wavelength than people. it’s so hard for people who’ve never experienced time blindness to realize how hard it is to control, that any alarms i set just get snoozed and forgotten about like i’m on autopilot. if i could will myself to miraculously have more awareness & self control i would, believe me.
im trans and personally timeblindness has literally made me feel worse than dysphoria sometimes, like idk if people realize how serious it is. my dysphoria has made me not want to exist and ive found time blindness to be worse sometimes. it makes you feel useless and its so frustrating. if it was "lazyness" or "lack of motivation" i wouldnt be missing stuff im super excited for :(
for me time blindness causes me to completely underestimate how much time i need to get ready/get somewhere/do something and so for those situations i don’t even think to set an alarm because i don’t realize it’s necessary. and then when i do set alarms i still can’t estimate what the appropriate time to set them to is and i give myself way too little time or way too much 😭😭
The alarm autopilot thing makes me wanna cry, I feel so seen. I feel like I've been struggling so much just to Be A Person and felt like a failure about it, and to realize that other people have the same issues and that it's actually not just me being a bad, lazy, horrible person is such a comfort.
@@jazwhoaskedforthis shout out to you all !! this little comment thread is one of spaces i’ve felt the most understood in for a while
Have you tried.... Putting the alarm across the room? That has helped me to not just auto snooze it. You have to get up in order to do it.
Also something about how she communicated things to us: I have ADHD too. It has long been proven that people with ADHD struggle a lot with sorting their thoughts into words. It comes out wrong a LOT. Yes she could have phrased it better but that in itself is sometimes a symptom of ADHD.
i've struggled with time blindness my whole life, and I just wish more people could understand how much I care. No matter how I try to explain it, most people ignore me and assume I'm just inconsiderate and don't value other people's time. I feel terrible that I've offended people and I work really hard trying to fix it, but it's hard to get better at perceiving something you're blind to.
You do waste people’s time. It happened. You can say you care but the other person has to wait and waste time. You explaining doesn’t stop the wasting of time.
Even if they get that you have trouble with time, their time is wasted because of it. You explaining and them understanding doesn’t mean it doesn’t have consequence or the problem goes away. Just like they can’t blame you for your time blindness (which I hope it doesn’t MAGICALLY JUST happen when you’re late)
You can’t blame others for not wanting their time wasted
@@knisa6350 I know I waste other people's time, and I don't blame them for not wanting their time wasted. I also understand that my intentions aren't as important as the impact of my actions. Still, I wish people didn't assume I don't care even if me caring isn't good enough.
@@knisa6350They clearly didn't place blame on others, and no it doesn't magically happen when you're late it's so clear you have no idea what it's like to live with this. It's terrifying, you feel constantly out of control and it destroys your relationships, study and work prospects, I mean imagine if everyone else was in a different dimension to you that you can't see. They're expressing the pain they feel for inconveniencing others and how upsetting it is when they believe you don't care about them, their time or their feelings. They never said they want others to not care, they said how they wish they could be better and you got mad at them for that?? You clearly can't imagine how disabling this is.
@@knisa6350okay but emphasizing that the person "wastes" other people's time is pretty harsh when they're not doing it on purpose at all. You don't have to repeat that countless of times
I feel you.
As someone with ADHD who struggles with this sort of thing, it is so aggravating when I know I'm trying my best to be on time for work but still manage to be late sometimes. Especially when I know I work really hard and do my best, only to have this one issue made into the worst thing I've ever done. It makes me angry too when I try so hard to be on time and work to get into this set routine, only to have one day where I slip up and all my progress resets. It makes me hate myself and feel worthless and stupid. I just wish people could understand how hard I'm trying my best. It's even to the point that I have 2 physical alarm clocks in different spots in my room that are a minute off from each other so as soon as i hit snooze on one i have to run across the room to hit the other, as well as multiple alarms on my phone. I really am trying my best.
I'm chronically late to work but not because I have time-blindness, it's just because I have a debilitating sleep disorder that makes it impossible for me to wake up on time for work. thankfully my job is very accommodating and lets me be up to an hour late everyday. having problems being on time to work can be caused by several different things and I agree that it shouldn't be a deal breaker to employers. I hate that beings late is just associated with being lazy when it can be a genuine issue for people
I was bullied throughout school for being neurodivergent, and now I have to watch day after day as more kids go through the exact same thing. It’s exhausting
I have ocd, and it really effects my time management. Great take on the subject, I completely agree with everything you said!
this take got me subbed. you sat down and took a look at how you and others were looking at the situation and actually did the hard work of trying to understand where someone was coming from rather than just writing it off
Ya know, props to the chick for having the self awareness and pro activity to reach out and ask. Usually the saying is “the worst they can say is no.” But actually they worst they can do is laugh at you I guess. College is a ramp between childhood and becoming a young functioning adult. It’s hard to learn to perfectly navigate your time management! Just wish people’s first reaction wasn’t to just laugh at people’s concerns
I woulda laughed so hard.. and then said I also have timeblindness so don't expect your checks to come on time
@dr.mund0339 Congratulations for not understanding the point of the video and for being an asshole!! Love that for you!! Go girl give us no empathy for a person struggling with a very distressing symptom of neurological disorders!! Hope you feel so proud of yourself!! Hope you go to bed at night happy about where your life is!! Hope your spouse loves you very much and isn't seducing the milk man!! 🎉🎉🎊🎊✨️✨️👏👏👏👏
@@dr.mund0339 you sound like such a funny and cool person. I bet you’d make a great boss!
@@bready2crumble I am lol as long as you do the basics of what's expected of you. I'm not your mother I'm paying you money to work for me lol
@@dr.mund0339How much can I pay you to use punctuation??
I struggled with time blindness and when I heard the term it was validating for me. I was always termed lazy though I’m always 20 minutes early to anything because I don’t know how long it takes me to get places and that’s after I sat at my house for 30 minutes waiting to leave because I can’t gauge how long it will take me to get ready. And alarms do not work for tasks. If someone or something tells me to do something automatically makes my brain put that at the bottom of the priority list.
TEN MINUTES EARLY OR YOU ARE LATE IS MY BEST FRIEND
I also have a serious issue with the sound of alarms, like everytime I hear my alarm sound when its not suppose to sound (maybe its on someone else's or on TV) I go meltdown and cover my ears. I genuinely believe I am doing really well in life despite everything, it could be worse
I have narcolepsy and while it's not the same I'm scared to sit down while I get ready most days because I never know when a 30 minute nap is just gonna slap me right out of the blue. Even better when I'm early for work and I get funny looks in the staff area because I accidentally snoozed while I was waiting for my shift to start. I'm lucky the workplace I'm at is a pretty good place with the folks I'm working with but it's so embarrassing when it happens and I get woken up by my phone slamming on the table
@@allie4085in some cultures, being early is ruder than being late
I think I should probably get checked for adhd. Always been termed lazy and I was actually a very good student academically but still have a hard time finishing my homework. I start studying for exams like 3 months earlier because of anxiety. And I’m always late to class. Now that I have my own kid, this time blindness thing is really becoming prominent. I have such a fear of my son being late to school that I start getting ready the moment I wake up. I leave with him by 10.30 (school is at 11) and he’s always the first to line up near the gate. It makes me feel somewhat accomplished that my son doesn’t get late. But it takes sooo much work.
Very well done. As a special education teacher and an advocate for the disability community, but also as a follower of yours, I respect your point of view and your perspective on this.
Thanks for being compassionate. You have no idea how much that means to people who truly struggle with this. ❤
Really love it when a symptom of my neurodivergency is clowned on like it's not just bullying. Definitely feels good. I feel really bad for this person, they don't deserve this sort of hate.
In the workplace, I was able to work with my boss to work around my time blindness. It wasn't me trying to get a free pass to be late? It was necessary changes to the way I was assigned work -- and I was able to get more work done at a higher quality.
But also I would never have gotten the job if I was upfront with it. Job descriptions often boil down to "don't have adhd."
It seems like people really haven’t heard of it and therefore don’t really accept it yet. Hopefully that changes, and SOON, because I too suffer with time blindness. It really does suck and has a very negative impact on my life.
My first though about this video was, okay, another silly goofy buzzword from tiktok. I think a way better approach would be asking for accommodations for ADHD and then explaining about the time stuff.
Maybe I’m wrong here, but it’s really difficult to keep up with every new thing
@@tashima42here’s the thing, none of these terms are new. they might be new to people who haven’t heard them before, but ppl definitely know what time blindness is. it’s not exactly a niche term
No, jobs will help you thrive if you are the right candidate. There are basic things you need to do. Anyone can get help and learn to manage their struggles / illnesses. I do it everyday and it’s part of growing up.
@@tashima42 Another thing to consider is time blindness is a symptom of things besides adhd, and not everyone with adhd has time blindness.
When discussing accommodations, it is more helpful to be specific about your needs. Otherwise you are relying on the person you're speaking to not having any misconceptions about your diagnosis, and of intuitively understanding what needs you have. Just saying "I need adhd accommodations" and going no further does a disservice to you and whoever you're discussing accommodations with, especially if there isn't a system already in place.
Nick I really appreciate your take on this, and your empathy here. As a fellow zoomer with ADHD, I understand where she is coming from. The level of fear + stress + anxiety I have to amp up in myself to get places on time is probably not healthy. I do it, but that doesn't mean I don't recognize how much of a toll it takes on me. I don't think people understand how difficult it is to overcome barriers like that, and I don't think they want to understand. It feels like they just want us to do whatever ridiculous mental system we need to do to be 'normal', and then not complain about it.
It's disheartening every time a story like this blows up, because it makes you realize how regressive people's views on disabilities are. I know they don't understand it, but the whole point is that you shouldn't have to understand a struggle personally for it to be valid and deserving of compassion in your mind
The gaslighting themselves into submission comment took the words right from my brain when I saw that woman making fun of her while showing she has to have an alarm set for every 5 minutes in the morning.
i’m 29. i have the same issue and i always have. it sucks, and punishing people for being a few minutes late every now and then is stupid and counterproductive so long as the person still provides value.
however, it is entitled to think that your instructors and employers should change their boundaries for you.
it’s up to you to be organized, but more importantly, it’s crucial to cultivate trust and personal relationships with your teachers/bosses.
if your teachers/bosses *know* that you’ll have your work done, your work will be good, and you’ll be present when you’re there, then they’ll be more lax with shit like time blindness.
that’s the only way i graduated lol
Yes exactly!! Like communication truly is key, and you will encounter profs who lack empathy and you just can't seem to please, but more the most part, as long as you communicate, professors see value in quality work that's late, than sloppy work on time. Which is how it should be but I digress
I know exactly what she's talking about and it's so awful to deal with. I lost a job largely due to this so I really feel for her. I had asked about accommodations and they weren't dismissed but they just kinda ignored. Recieved warnings, i knew i had to get my crap together, and i would wake up every morning TELLING MYSELF this is the day i show up to work extra early to compensate, it's ALL i want to do, and yet this extraphysical force just makes sure i ALWAYS mess up somehow.
Maybe i looked at the bathroom tiles and zoned out, I sat down on the toilet and now i feel paralyzed at the thought of getting up because ????, or i check my phone after putting my clothes on and i'm somehow ten minutes behind schedule after what literally felt like nothing. It's SO infuriating to deal with because it really feels completely out of your control, you can put your 100% into something and work twice as hard but still fall behind your peers, because it comes naturally to them. And everyone thinks i'm making it up :') Please, if i wanted to embarrass myself this much in front of everyone i respected i'd just acquire a humiliation fetish lol
Omg yes. This same thing happened to me at my last job. I'd be on time and then I would loose my keys or set my phone down etc and I would set alarms but that doesn't help when you keep having to run back and forth.
This kind of thing is why I don't bother telling people about my adhd symptoms. The average person can't do anything to help with it and in my experience it doesn't change how pissed & judgemental about it people are.
Thank you so MUCH! Ive struggled with my adhd and time blindness ever since I can remember (Im no spring chick either) and have always felt like I can never just 'get it together'. Always been told the same rhetorical bs thats spewed in this video, set an alarm, there's clocks, just be motivated..etc uughhh that crap doesn't make me feel better! You think I don't tell myself the same things and have tried them a gazillion times??? They have no idea what it's like unless they've experienced it themselves and they take in this 'holier than thou' attitude about it and it makes me sick. Thank you for having the simple empathy to see the other side. Its greatly appreciated 🙏❤
I have struggled with time blindness my whole life. I have accommodations for it (as well as other ADHD stuff) and have since middle school (in college now). Time blindness is one reason I chose a career path that is more flexible. It would be amazing if there were more jobs with flexible schedules that actually paid a livable wage and treated employees well. And there are several jobs that could have “at-home” options which might be helpful. However, most jobs require people to be on time for good reason.
The story I always tell people to explain ADHD time-blindness is that when I would show up to work 10 mins early, I’d get out of the car to walk 20ft to the door and still clock in late. Definitely don’t know what to do there, no matter how much alarms, clock watching, or prep.
Edit: y’all suck I rest my case in my essay below. Btw any English teachers in the chat to grade it?
Thank you!!!
exactly, this is why i would never take a job where being a little late would put undue stress on others. i haven’t been able to find a way to be consistently on time (when i am, i’m way too early) so i make sure my time blindness doesn’t negatively impact those around me.
show up 20 mins early...
@@cucumberpiglet yall are either not very bright or just refusing to get it...
@@cucumberpigletsomeone with adhd is probably more likely to become preoccupied with something else in the 20 min timespan than 10. I regularly lose track of time even with 1 minute before meeting notifications. 60 seconds is enough time to become max hyper focused.
It’s so disheartening to see people just blatantly discard the fact that ADHD is a thing that people struggle with and need help with.
I doom scrolled most of the comments and the amount of stuff you hear about adhd is just on repeat, shit like "grow up" "youre just lazy" "have you tried setting an alarm" as if "setting an alarm" isnt the new "did you try a planner" like... it wouldnt be a disability if it didnt disable my ability to function adequately
@@HeyHebi i wish people would think "hey, is this some shit someone could use to lure themself into a doom scroll?" before they post. like seriously why can't people realize that all they're doing is hurting their own mental health and others by posting negative shit online that they KNOW isn't gonna change anyone's mind. it's just crazy.
If her question is triggering, it might be because WE had to come up with coping mechanisms for things like time blindness which only hurts US. For example, I’m so anxious about missing things and being late that I can never actually relax, and I’m in a constant state of worry. I am jealous of people who can simply ask for what they need, and expect people to care about my needs.
It’s like any time we bring up a pain point and one of your parents reply with “oh you think you have it hard?! Well back in my day….”
If a collage made accommodations for her, it doesn’t actually hurt anyone else.
God the “just use an alarm!” Thing is so annoying. My mom constantly tells me that (which is fine she’s just trying to help) but just because the alarm goes off doesn’t mean anything nft if I have an alarm for every single task I have to do in a given day im more likely to ignore the alarm
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was six and unfortunately, I never grew out of it and still struggle with it today at the age of 22. I have tried almost every ADHD med trying to find something that will make me feel like a normal functioning person. But no matter what I've tried, none of them have helped my symptom of "time blindness". All though, I think it's more accurate to call it time dyslexia. It really hurts to hear the replies this girl is receiving, because they are all saying what has been repeated to me over and over again my whole life. It reminds me of the teachers who said those things to me after I put all of my effort and energy into studying for tests, and try my hardest to complete them, but ultimately failing most of them because I could only answer half of the questions in the amount of time I was given. It reminds me of how I was constantly isolated in high school from my peers and kept from returning to class for a whole school day and a half because that's how long it took me to complete one exam. It's sad to see in clear writing what the world thinks of people who just don't function the same as they do.
To be super clear ADHD is not something you can grow out of, it’s a neurodivergence so it’s not “curable” and it’s your brain working at a fundamentally different level
It always amazed me that the myth of growing out of it is still so prevalent.
It was disproven a long time ago, you don't grow out of it. I heard it directly from my doctor back in the day.
Made me wonder what was wrong with me when I wasn't "better" by the time I was 25.
What other replies would you expect to see, if she's asking for something impossible? Because what actual practical accomodations could she receive from an employer? Twice as much time to do the same job as others for the same salary? Permission to always be late? Would she receive reminders about every little thing from someone else, who has to sacrifice their time and attention for her now? I'm genuinely curious
@@Marlenka1991 There are lots of helpful comments in other threads, but flexible/more rigid schedules (depending on the person, because not all people with adhd have the same struggles), maybe saying how long a task should take when it is first assigned/asking her how long she thinks it should take? The alarms aren't a bad idea in that case if she was allowed to set a timer for how long the task should be. This isn't just about being late, it is about having a hard time telling how long you've been doing things, like being on break. I used to put on a fifteen or thirty minute youtube video to make sure I knew exactly how much time I had left in my break because I struggled with this in retail.
Giving her twice as much time to complete tasks wouldn't probably help if she struggles to tell how much time has passed. But I'm not her so idk what works for her. The timing things with CZcams works for me (for tasks like getting ready or packing or chores, not for work obviously), and I time other things with music (this album is an hour long, or that most songs are 4 minutes long so I should be done in 5 songs, etc), maybe being able to do office work with music playing could help? There are lots of options, and I agree with a lot of the comments here that this seems like more of an issue with understanding what timeblindness is and empathy than it is with the accommodations itself. Because it wouldn't affect you if her tasks had an extra note/line in the email saying the expected time it should take. Her listening to music or having alarms through her earbuds wouldn't change a thing about your work day. But it would make a world of difference for hers. There's a comment by Music89243 that was below this (at the time of writing) that talks about this from the perspective of the manager working with their time blind employee that might help.
@@NicholeParker ....huh. That bit about the songs made my ability to measure time better with songs playing make SO much more sense. I knew it helped me figure things out better but I hadn't thought of it as a strategy, just a byproduct of wanting music.
Thanks for pointing that one out, apparently I was sitting on a solution this whole time
a few years back i had a huge struggle with time blindness. at the time i didn't even know what that was, this video literally opened up my eyes. i was never late for more than 15 minutes (to school) and i had no intention to be late. every morning i woke up at the right time and had my schedule for the morning figured out but almost every time i ended up being late. i was so fed up with it and embarassed by myself because everyone including myself had no idea what was wrong with me. i had no excuse for it which made it so much more frustrating. i'm currently trying to figure out if i have ADHD and hearing that this can be one of the symptoms just made me feel so relieved i think? i know that sounds weird but now knowing what i had to struggle with could have a deeper meaning makes me feel understood. i don't struggle with it as much anymore to the point that i'm late but i still have a hard time with the perception of time. thank you for this video nick.
There's a woman called Jessica Mccabe who has a channel called "How to ADHD". If you're navigating ADHD and whether or not you have it, she's a fantastic source for talking about the condition ❤ Just a suggestion, I happened to find her when I first suspected I had adhd (turns out I do!) Regardless of what you wind up doing next, I wish you all the best with figuring it out ❤
You may very well. You can go to a neuropsych and get a test done. Tbh even if you don't need accommodations, you might have struggles that can be mitigated. Like I have adhd. I take medicine but knowing I have it means I was able to figure out nob medical solutions to various issues.
Like NT people can just set alarms. I separate my day into batches and do my set routine everyday. When something starts getting stale I know I need to change to a different routine. This cycling allows me to stay functional and keeps down impulse control issues.
Plus if you know if you have it or not, that can help you find solutions to x problem. Its a completely different brain chemistry so doing x thing that helps adhd might not help you if you don't have it.
@@charmedpipper1 thank you!
There are so many neurological disabilities that go unnoticed, undiagnosed and insufficiently researched. I think there's a lot of damage that's been done by social media for sure but opening the conversation about these disorders has been a huuuuuge step in the right direction. I think conversations like these really show there's a long way to go still, I'm just glad someone's talking about this stuff now. Accommodations should be normalized!!!!!!!
As someone who used to work by appointment, these people were referred to as CHRONICALLY LATE.
I could not accomodate someone that floats in 2 hrs late because they forgot to get out of the pool.
I forgot what time blindness is despite having it and thought this girl only goes blind during very specific hours and I was like ??? What?? “Oh yeah at 5:48 until 7:32 I can’t see”
Lmao stop I’m cracking up at this
it’s like my dad when he thinks i’ll turn deaf if i’m not making eye contact with him when we’re talking💀💀
i read the title and i thought it was her just going blind from time to time. i was like “how are people gonna complain about a blind person”
As someone with ADHD anxiety and depression i find that people understand anxiety the most and then depression and then ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 10 years old and the school did nothing and everyone glaced right over it. I'd constantly be yelled at and harassed for not doing work and even if i had an IEP they'd say it was just an excuse and that i needed to get off my ass. It stayed like that throughout my entire education and toward the end i couldnt look at a worksheet without having a mental breakdown. Shit really fucked me up to the point where i cant fill out a resume to get a job. Its never been for a lack of trying. ADHD is glossed over as having someone who runs around a lot when thats not even close to the tip of the iceberg.
As someone who does struggle with time blindness, I'm either really late or really early, and I guess my take is that she should learn to adjust to time deadlines before hitting the workforce because realistically a 9-5 gig will care if she's consistently late. Because I have a bad concept of time, I give myself waaaay too much time to get from point A to point B, which is why I end up getting places ~15 minutes early. I started that habbit in my gap year which certainly did help me when I got to college.
Even nowadays, if I plan to arrive at an event or something, and don't give myself a rediculous amount of time to get ready, then I run 20-30 minutes late. But even doing small things like watching youtube videos while doing my hair and makeup makes me be like " Oh, I just watched that 10 minute video and have to go soon"
idk tho
Shady girl aside, I'm glad to see your perspective as someone with ADHD. My spouse has it, diagnosed as a young child, and they have tried SO many things and we are still trying things to find ways to help them get shit done.
People who haven't experienced it just think it's being lazy or the same experience they've had that they've just had to power through. But you can't power through a neuro-developmental disorder.
When we look at previous generations there's always been the people who could never keep a job, never be responsible and keep a home, always needed help and ended up in group homes/shelters. I'd be willing to be a lot of those folks struggled with a variety of things from autism to ADHD to various mental illnesses. People who need help with this stuff didn't just suddenly appear.
There are many ways to support someone other than just... letting them show up whenever they want?
Anyway, again I like seeing a fairer, more compassionate opinion.
She basically asked about a possibility of flexible working hours or extracurricular credit why did she get yelled at
People think she's being entitled or selfish, or that they were able to overcome it so she should too, ignoring the fact that accommodations for something hurts no one
@@marzhun Ironically, I consider it selfish to simply assume that any one person would need the same minor treatments / accomodations that you would. I'll never understand why people like that just have to think that way. Ridiculous.
I will truly never understand the "we all struggle so you should too!!" mindset. If everyone needs to tough out to not be late to things, maybe there SHOULD be more accommodation in place, and that the only way a system will change is if people ask questions LIKE THIS!!
i orginally typed out my whole life story but decided it was too much rambling lol but stay strong, all my fellow neurodivergent ppl! your struggles are valid no matter what the randos say, even when you are belittled by what those randos have to say about you personally or just other people like you. pls be gentle with yourself while navigating this neurotypical-normative world ❤
This is always the worst, when everybody gets reminded that you can be part of a disadvantaged group AND be an asshole, and they go after the first thing and not the second one.
@kristinrad no cuz this is literally so true
I’ve never been assessed and I am tying SO HARD not to self diagnose… but the more I learn about adhd I am like “oh wait, you mean not everyone experiences life like that?” Like, time blindness. I’d never heard of it until this girls video went viral and I’m like that is my every day experience. I was trying to explain to my coworkers how I can wake up 3hrs before I need to be at work and yet STILL be 30 minutes late and I’m just like, I can’t even TELL you what happens/where the time goes. Idk, I’m 27 years old and I think it might be time to understand what’s so…interesting… about my own brain functions lol
Definitely look into it!!! I help a ton of people get diagnosis (people I meet irl and immediately do "oh they have ADHD I hope they know") and I tell people to look up the diagnostic criteria and see if it applies to them. Then if it does, make a table/doc with each criteria that applies and an example from childhood and then one from adulthood for the home and work/school. So for example if the criteria is "frequently misplacing items and poor organizational systems" you would write childhood- school got reprimanded for constantly losing homework. Home- my room was always incredibly messy. Adult- work- can never find my files on my computer, home- had to buy 4 can openers this year because I constantly misplace them. This helps give a clearer picture of your symptoms and provides evidence that they were there in childhood.
I just had the same experience. I've always been to early or to late to everything and I've made up a bunch of plausible reason over the years. But now that I live alone (I'm 23) and I don't have depression anymore, I'm physically healthy again, I love my courses at university, I have the money to invest in hobbies and yet I still can't get it together. Like right now, it's twelve minutes before midnight, I've planned to go to bed at 10pm and I just realized that I've forgotten to eat dinner. I have however written five pages on an Essay that is due in more than two weeks and that I had planned on writing tomorrow. AAHhHHhh And yesterday I had to wait for one entire hour for a train at a tiny train station and then I proceeded to miss the train by two minutes. I'm so tired of myself.
i have autism and struggle with time blindness a lot. it confuses me a lot, but overall it is a pain in the ass. i end up being late all the time and i don’t even realize it. i feel so embarassed for showing up late when i was supposed to be on time, but somehow the time just flew by. i can not for the life of me tell you how long something will take me, because I’ll say it’ll take 5 minutes, and 30 minutes later i still won’t be done. i’ve tried setting alarms, or playing music in the background, (because when the song changes I’ll know that about 4 minutes have passed) but those things don’t really help unfortunately. it’s honestly kind of hard for me to even comprehend the fact that my perception of time is so far from true. haven’t finished the video yet, but thought i’d just share my personal experience^^
Why don’t you give yourself more than 5 minutes to complete a task?
I do the songs one too, and end up so in my head that I dont perceive the music anymore kkkkk I am so done, got a meeting yesterday at my job for being late and forgetting the days I was suppose to work too many times (many times for them is like 3 times in 3 months, like that for me is a huge achivement, I am doing my best, they also keep changing my schedule so it gets messy even with a schedule), I had to disclose I have ADHD and autism cause I was about to get fire, and they where like: why didnt you say this before? LIKE ... yall would have not even hire me if I dared to say anything, or worse think I was making excuses.
sorry can you explain how setting an alarm doesnt help? like if you know you have to do something in 5 minutes and you set an alarm for 5 minutes from now, do you just...ignore the alarm when it goes off? not trying to be mean i just really dont get how the alarm thing doesnt work
For me counting time from songs only works when I shower bc if I get too in my head time passes and then I realize I've been in the shower for 2 hours😅
@@SuzER08 girl did u come here to argue
I have time-blindness due to adhd and I have several silent/on vibrate alarms set with a 30 min snooze during times in the day I've noticed it gets worse. I know this is a huge issue and it could cost me my job (nearly cost me my graduation) but I would never ask someone to accommodate me for it. Yes, I would love it if people were understanding but I can't just ask them to excuse me being late and forgoing deadlines left and right. This is something we need to work on ourselves. She could have phrased her question better and she should definitely manage her expectations and get some professional help.
Omg this is so frustrating. Like I can set my alarm 3 hours ahead of when I have to be at work and will still wait until the final moment to get ready to go. It doesn't matter if I wake up early or not. I just always underestimate how much time I need to get things done...I KNOW this and still!!
tiktok has entered a new age of social media where your audience is almost always a moving target, as fyp is focused over follower base. I don't blame her for "oversharing" and underexplaining what time blindness is. Oversharing is fairly common on the app, especially with young people and usually when posting you assume the post will go to your followers, a limited base. She wanted sympathy, which is reasonable, but additionally her following base likely also consists of people with ADHD and an understanding of time blindness. In short form content, there's no time for explanation, she sent this video thinking people viewing understand the issue. Instead it got pushed out in mass to people who don't understand the terms and issues she was discussing and got harassed in mass.
I guess that would be the case but it should be acknowledge that she does have the power to control her time blindess with many options. What could a job realistically do to accommodate for something like Time Blindness? The job would want you to be one time, its the last thing anyone would want to do if they are employed
@@DINOJeff26She doesn't have control of her time blindness. If she had control over it then it wouldn't be a disorder. I am in college and I have accommodations for my ADHD. They let me turn on my work in parts instead of a full essay. They gave me more flexible time. Yes it is on us to get there on time, but no matter how much we try we just don't perceive the passage of time the way you do. You act like she's actively doing it on purpose. We don't want to be late but that's just how our brains work. I'm not sure how a job would accommodate this but there are jobs that have flexibility with their hours.
@@waddle623 I’m not saying that she been willfully doing this. If that how I came across then I’m sorry. I’m more of thinking that since it can effect a person perception of time then the job itself can do very little to help with the time blindness and it’s more up to the person who has it find a way so that they wouldn’t let it be a hindrance in their job. Again I’m not saying she doing it on purpose and I’m again sorry if that how I’m coming across
@@DINOJeff26 It depends on the job and how willing they are to help. It can take a really long time to figure out how to work around it.
@@waddle623 From the comments, there is a video where she confirmed that she doesn't have ADHD and is neurotypical. She just has issues with time.
Also people hate her because she is transphobic and anti-choice.
i'm sure others have already said it but just chiming in to say autistic people often suffer from time blindness as well. i have it myself, and because i grew up with an autistic mom and autistic younger siblings, i literally did not know this had a name until recently. i'm 22! but it was so normalized for me growing up to see my mom setting timers for us all to remember to eat and other basic functions because we wouldn't realize time had passed due to being focused on special interests and projects, it took living on my own the last 5 years to realize other people dont grasp this, because they're able to somehow grasp time. i cant even start to conceptualize that.
i hope this girl gets the accommodations she needs. it's a genuinely painful part of adhd/autism. and if anyone happened to have read this far and finds these topics interesting, a connected piece to go look into is "wait mode" in neurodivergent people.
As someone that struggles with it as well, I do wish that there was more of a discussion about it. It's definitely more than just "being late". I have to have visual aids nearby like a timer that has a colored in space that I can see how much time is left. I prefer visual clocks in my space over digital readouts so I can use that as a way to work out how to plan my routine to be ready by a certain time. I have a board setup in my room that I've put together in a way that forces me to interact with that helps me see what I left to tackle. Without those things it's very easy for me to say I'll quickly get something done fully expecting it not to take long and then getting so in the zone on a task that hours will pass. I think it's always worth finding what works for you and how to make it work in the environment you're in.
I've had ADHD my whole life and only got diagnosed when I was 21 because a friend of mine who also had it saw a lot of it in me. I wondered for years if I was insane, stupid or crazy or simply just not good enough or as good at things as others. I thought I was just a lazy moron who was failing at life. Knowing I have ADHD has allowed me to not only properly help myself but also learn more about it and myself. Seeing that others have the same things I do, seeing that my brain isn't the only one that works like this. I had been gaslit by everyone around me into thinking so many negative things about myself that I ended up developing anxiety and depression because I had no idea I had ADHD. She didn't word it exactly the best way which is literally another symptom of ADHD to not have strong social skills or thought building. People should learn more about ADHD before they go off and act ignorant and rude towards them. It's not just being hyper or distracted it's every brain function is different than someone who doesn't have ADHD.
why would anyone make fun of the term time blindness, it's a genuine symptom of disorders lmao
@@azealiabanksapologist3833why are you on every on of these comments trying to argue dude
She does not have the disorders they are associated with, by her own admission, and time blindness is truly something you need to accommodate yourself for, which is luckily very feasible to do with modern tech.
@@azealiabanksapologist3833 You're an awful person to make fun of a kid with a disorder. Disgusting. I hope you feel ashamed of yourself.
@@irrelevant5393 keeping up with which comments I am/aren’t under oh you’re obsessed
@@irrelevant5393 he wants attention
There were people calling her “entitled to expect accommodations for time blindness” do people even know what entitlement is?
We know what it means and she has it
@@azealiabanksapologist3833 obviously you don’t if you think that’s entitlement. You sound like a boomer.
Expecting people to accommodate something you have the power to self correct if you put in even an ounce of effort, because you do not want to bother trying, is in fact entitlement.
I have adhd and lose all track of time. What do I do? Set up tools that help me stay on track bc I respect other peoples time in this world.
@@azealiabanksapologist3833 It’s not entitled to be given the same chance to succeed as other people. If there’s something you struggle with that’s outside your control, you shouldn’t have to suffer for that. Also I’ve seen you all over this comment section, you good?
@@MikuHatsune524I mean the thing is that its really not outside her control. I’m sure she can set alarms, reminders, etc. that can help her.
i have ADHD time blindness. i have accommodations for this! when i was applying i told them, “for me, you will get the most out of me as a worker if you are consistent with my schedule.” This way, over a period of time, you become trained to that certain time. I have been working the same schedule for almost a year now without flaw.
my second work accommodation for “time blindness” is that i told my employer i prefer to work the opening shift rather than the closing shift. if i have an appointment at 3pm and nothing else, i’ll spend the whole day stressing about making it there on time. Which is why i try to opt for morning appointments and shifts whenever possible.
I set alarms to help if i get lost in something. There are ways to accommodate these things, but that’s not “being late” or getting to show up whenever you please.
I really like how you’ve been running these channels. The content is good and I really appreciate your takes and experiences on ADHD and neurotypical issues because I feel like theres not a lot of understanding for the broad spectrum of issues that we deal with
as a dyslexic (who has been referred to be checked for ADHD and autism) who struggles with time, I cant say how many people have told me about clocks and alarms. I always describe it as time depth perception as nick described it, this tends to help people understand better what I'm experiencing. its not about the alarms or time because how can i plan when to set an alarm if i don't understand how long a minute lasts? not to mention as a dyslexic i struggle to read clocks so its tiring just doing that. it really frustrates me seeing people look at someone else struggling as just a normal issue. the reason its taken so long to be looked at for other issues is because im quiet but if i asked for help i was scoffed at or when i told my mum my councillor had referred me she told me she wouldn't believe me even if i got diagnosed. when are we gonna stop ignoring people that need help and help guide them to a conclusion on what's happening what they are experiencing so they can accurately ask for the resources they need instead of getting mad at them? anyway sorry for the rant and bad grammar bet you cant tell what that's from haha.
When you’re feeling bad about this, remind yourself that some people are just so silly for thinking people like us are purposefully risking punishment (getting kicked out of school, losing a job) just to be a little late.
Nobody cares about your disability. Literally everyone has some sort of disability according to such a lax definition. If we accommodate you, then we’ll have to accommodate everyone and that’s not possible.
Honestly The only ppl that should get accommodations are people with SEVERE physical or mental disabilities.
Ive got ADHD and struggle with time a lot, and Ive never even thought of needing accommodations for that particular symptom. I fully expect that if I'm going to be late on a regular basis, that there will be consequences. While I think she has some good ideas, her attitude in how she presented her thoughts is what got her in trouble. If she had literally mentioned it being ADHD accommodations it would've been significantly better received, but you use a term like "time blindness", people are NOT going to understand.
ADHD & AGREE
I’m a hairstylist with ADHD and I can’t use my time blindness as an excuse to not be on time because clients are waiting on me. But having other people counting on me being on time helps me a lot with that!
However, there are definitely tons of jobs that can make accommodations for time blindness. I know SOOO many people who work from home, some of them have ADHD and being able to work on their own schedule kind of helps with that time blindness. Whether it be sleeping in or working at night, or dilly dallying until the day before the deadline and then that panic causing them to hyper focus to finish. That’s only one example, there’s definitely tons of jobs that can accommodate for time blindness and I think it’s totally fair to open up this dialogue.
My time blindness makes me late to everything else that’s not my job lol. And people always joke that I’m always late. People don’t recognize how difficult it can be when time simply doesn’t make sense in your head.
Time blindness is a huge neurodivergent thing. People are so ableist and don’t know how to treat others.
I literally tried talking to my mom about this and she said that people “can overcome it.” Like HUH!? Nope.
I hope people will start to be more considerate of others.
You absolutely can overcome it.
But you can overcome it, right? With specific accommodations and routines that work for you. Isn't that what the video is about?
@@terminaldeity Some people can and for others it’s a genuine struggle. I struggle to the point where I might not be able to get an actual job unless it’s something that can accommodate my needs or that I can do for myself. Time is a constant struggle for me. I’ve tried all different timers and it doesn’t work. I’ve had times where I thought only 5 minutes had passed and it was actually 15. Not everyone is the same and not everyone will be able to get what they need to accomplish their goals.
@@horganblatt2660 I don’t have any way of showing the people that have interacted with this comment what I’m trying to say. But for me, I’ve tried bright sticky notes, timers, alarms, post it’s, and more. None of those have worked for me. Sometimes even verbal communication doesn’t work for me. Not everyone is the same and not everyone experiences time blindness the same way. Not everyone is affected by it the same way. Some people can’t overcome it and actually need accommodations that aren’t thought of.
im glad you took the approach you did as someone with inattentive adhd w p bad time blindness.. ppl on tiktok love to glamorize adhd as this quirky lil thing without realizing its an actual disability so when someone complains about the "unattractive" side of it they freak tf out and its just so fkn stupid and tiring to listen to
Exactly they think it’s cool and quirky until it’s someone sharing and trying to destigmtize the more “unpleasant” side
i agree that she shouldn’t have been yelled at but i’ve seen some of her other vids and she has some really shit takes on things so yeah she’s not 100% right. i have adhd and issues with time and stuff sometimes and there are literal ways to accommodate and help YOURSELF.
Still have to be aware that you have adhd no matter what though. You can use all the accommodations, tools, coping methods. But it'll never change the fact that you have adhd and it will affect your life, sometimes way ahead of you to the point where your accommodations don't even work. Humans are messy, thinking that once you figure out you have a disability and get tools to cope that it will just stop the negative affects of your disorder is not realistic. And when the time comes for when it does, you'll only be crueler and harder on yourself instead of understanding
@@kennyfool8078i’m just saying, it’s possible to learn how to manage. i’m doing just fine. i know everyone is different but it sounds like she doesn’t even want to put effort in
hey, i know your comment is genuine and in good faith, but do realize there are people (like me!) who have been managing their ADHD and/or autism since birth! 23 years and counting of trying to help myself. and as I’m writing this, my professor for my capstone (aka what gets me my degree) doesn’t believe in mental health accommodations. I ran out of my meds bc of the shortage for two. days. thats all it took for me to miss a midterm required for me to pass. this might be rude of me to say, please know i mean this in a good way, but you are likely more mentally capable than others with the same disabilities. just because you are able to manage does not mean someone with even more tools and support can manage. really glad to hear youre managing your life though, it gives me hope that one day i will feel better at managing mine!
@@ari1758”I’m doing just fine”. You’re not everyone & everyone is not you.
@@kay-collins you didn’t read the rest of my comment. i said i know everyone is different, but it seems like she doesn’t want to put any effort in at all.
Colleges and work places usually don’t accommodate anyone so it’s insane to me she thought they would accommodate time blindness
okay but like… my best friend has time blindness-BAD time blindness-but she is on time for her job. she sets her alarm, sets more through the morning to make sure she is on time, and deals with it.