Narcissistic Parents: When 'Honoring' Them HURTS you
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- čas přidán 2. 01. 2024
- In this video, I talk about the controversial question of whether you should 'honor' your narcissistic mother or father and how it can actually hurt you to do so.
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DISCLAIMER: This video is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional counseling. Be sure to consult a professional to help you integrate and utilize these concepts.
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Many people don't realize that 'honouring' one's parents does not mean tolerating crappy behaviour.
My mother's mantra - I asked her "How do you honor them when they are not honorable?"
I honor my monster parents by staying as far away from them as I can, and not passing on the rage attacks to the next generations. At least as best I can.
Living in the buckle of the Bible belt, I can attest this ideology is leaned on heavily. Furthermore, being a child of narcissistic parents and being raised in the Baptist church, this was extensively used in abusive ways. If I simply said something my mother didn't agree with, I wasn't honoring/respecting her. And, of course, her views and opinions were like the wind, making it impossible to keep up with. Although, I think the real deal is that she would simply make her position contrary to mine for whatever reason.
Honor parents who honor the children. Do not honor abusive parents.
Trying to honor my mother kept me trapped for years. Once I understood that our relationship dynamic was idolatry, on my part, I had a much easier time letting go. ✌🏼
It is so narrow-minded of people to think that all parents deserve to be honored.
He is right. Hating them hurts us, not them. It doesn't hurt them because they never cared in the first place, remember this! I finally let the hatred go but it took afew years. I finally feel released ❤
Amen, you honor them by having boundaries with them. I haven't talked to my mom in almost 3 years and counting, forgiving her on my end by going to God about it, and I am at peace. Praise God, He is good even when others are not.
Honor your father and mother by living the upright, moral and honorable life they would have wanted for you if they were well. Others will see your life and account it to your upbringing, thus giving honor to them.
I find it best to honor them from a distance, lots of distance.
The Bible also tells parents to respect their children.
Honor thy parents means live in an honorable way. Don't bring shame to the family. It does not mean exhault and obey them at all cost.
Another toxic twist to this “honour your father/mother”, is they use it to justify why they expect you, the child in the relationship, to be and do better than them, the adults, all while staying submissive and inopiniated.
Abusive people are not worthy of honor
You have to be honorable...in order to be honored.
There is a reason some of us leave home……….and never look back.
My parents were faux religious . It only served their perceived social standing by attending church and then resort to the inevitable rage and scream fests that ensued after an hour in a pew by demonizing us for not making them look better when we were out in public . I always felt that my mother - a covert narc - considered herself my owner . She certainly thought she owned all my time at the very least . In my twenties I decided I no longer wanted any relationship with her . I felt that I no longer wanted to be 'dragging' her through life with me while screaming and raging at me about everything . Dropping her ended my relationship with all other family members who seemed to resent that I was dishonouring her as well as taking her target of entertainment away . We are the only ones that can help ourselves - NO ONE is coming to save us .
AS A Muslim background, it hurts me alot when flying monkeys say: honor your parents, because everything you have and everything positive in your life is because of them