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HOW TO GET OVER BEING CHEATED ON
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- čas přidán 22. 04. 2021
- Being cheated on can be one of the most traumatic experiences a man or woman will go through. It hurts! Especially when you fully commit to someone with the expectations that you will be with them forever. That kind of pain can leave you feeling like your life is over. But it doesn't have to be that way.
I want to tell you a story about a time when I was cheated on myself. I was twenty four years old and I had just really began my journey into becoming a man. I had a brand new career and my mindset had began to shift. I had began to think that I wanted a family. So, in true Shumake of old fashion, I met a girl, we "fell in love", and we moved in with each other. The truth is that we moved way to fast and I ended up paying for it big time... She cheated on me.
Before I had even heard of the term "red pill knowledge", I had become "red pill". I promised myself that I would never allow myself to go through that again. So what did I do? I swore off relationships and I became solely focused on myself. I didn't care about anybody's feelings but my own and I lived that way for quite some time.
The hurt and pain of being cheated on had consumed me and I decided to get back at the woman that hurt me by making her regret doing me wrong. I channeled that negative energy into improving myself. At this point I started writing my goals down, reading books, and I attempted to make myself feel better by "living my life". That was a transformative period of time for me, but there was a draw back to my new way of living. I stayed in it too long and I became toxic.
In this video I'm going to tell you how to recover from being cheated on without becoming toxic. You can definitely use that pain to drive your ambition to becoming a better you. But I want to encourage you to not stay in the angry phase for too long. If you do, you will hurt alot of people that don't deserve to be hurt. Your ex is the one that cheated, so don't let your heartbreak make you become them.
I like to use my life experiences to help people that may be experiencing the same things I already went through in the past. This story was very impactful in the journey to becoming who I am today and I hope that you gain something useful from it.
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What books did you read to help you overcome that pain in your life?
Are you half Somali or Ethiopian? Just wanna know.
Trust means everything, but once it’s broken, sorry means nothing.
I agree💯💯💯
Oh man that was very well said dude
Straight facts💯
she didnt even say sorry she just laughed. this generation is messed up
Sorry is only enough if the person is truly contrite and changes. Jesus forgives when we are sincere.
They not sorry until they get caught. Remember that.
Ty ❤
thats facts
I don’t think you ever “get over” that kind of betrayal. You get through it, you get stronger and wiser. Hopefully you don’t get jaded or bitter, giving up on love. It’s hard. It’s hard to learn to trust again.
That woman was a fool. You seem like a good and honorable man.
You do. God heals the heart. He can heal anything.
Idk 3 women have cheated on me now im startin to think they are all like that and i just didnt catch the rest
@@-Zperco I understand that frustration. Consider the places you meet these women. Bars and clubs are the last place to look for relationships.
After the 1st one it's easy to get over it ...find a new one and never take them serious . All that trust shit is overrated.
@@-Zpercothat’s your fault you need to reflect on why you attract those types of women. If one female cheated it’s one thing but three means it’s something about you that attract women who’ll cheat on you
When we don't learn the lessons from certain life experiences, we keep repeating the same patterns or mistakes over and over and over, until we do
We don't learn these lessons because we refuse to FORGIVE.
@@annagrace1159Yes plus we don't believe God's word. I completely changed when I made the commitment to follow Christ 100%.
Please never take down this video. I listen to it every day as motivation and a reminder. I just got cheated on and feel extremely down. This has helped me feel a bit better on really bad days. Thank you for this 🙏🙏🧡
just texting to see an update of how you are doing now, hope all is well my friend
@@CrashGetLoco time does heal! It’s crazy I caught my ex (then boyfriend) cheating on me this exact day a year ago! But I’m in a way better place now thankfully. I don’t even think about him truly. Life is great 👌 of course it still sucks that I got cheated on but I’m definitely way better off without him 😁 thank you for checking 🙏 hope all is well with you too
@@Diana-wk9qv thank you for responding, gives me hope, God bless you
@@Diana-wk9qvTime heals when we give the pain to Jesus. When we break the soul tie. I hope you forgive your ex and stay true to abstinence. The Lord will honor that. I hope you marry soon!
I got over it by leaving. Never to return. It's just that simple for me. No hard feelings because them cheating has NOTHING to me nor was it about me.
Definitely transmute that energy and you will overcome anything
My ex slept with 2 of my work colleagues. Continuously. And I got some sort of PTSD shit from it. I had nightmares of her sleeping with them for 8 days straight. I felt so so sick.
She was the one who said she wanted to marry me and have my children. I was planning the next step of adulthood 🤷🏽♂️
Awee I’m sorry😢 that sounds awful!
Sorry bro, but that needed to happen to you, bc now you know never to ignore those red flags and to set your boundaries. When lines are crossed, bounce, speaking from personal experience.
Ugh… she used to say the same, went back to her ex the moment i started focusing to build a future for her. Lol all this? Now what lol….
I wouldn't be doggone, I'd be long gone lol. I have zero tolerance for unfaithfulness and I don't care how long ago, who with, how long married. If I found out today that my husband cheated on me 25 years ago and I loved him with all my heart, I'd dump him like yesterday's spoiled milk. We teach people how to treat us and that goes for cheating.
That’s awesome.. I have only recently subscribed to that way of thinking. I’ve gone so many years allowing disrespectful behavior in the name of love.
Absolutely, good for you 💯
Ppl are scared of just talking to their spouse before making a decision they'll regret.
Think about that. They'd rather risk it all instead of talking to their spouse. That's crazy as hell.
@@viceanterra3 that IS crazy. If you can't come to your spouse, then they're not spouse worthy. ALSO if s/he isn't spouse worthy, they're not baby worthy. Let THAT sink in.
@GetOutOfThereGirlAnd JustDivest I had to walk away from my 25 yr marriage as well. Disrespectful actions and side chick had no respect all i see is jail life so i walked away with my head up.
The gut feeling never fails you, I genuinely felt I was insane for last two weeks and then I ended it on a Saturday and come Wednesday a friend of mine showed me hard evidence and he also said your work colleague helped her lie to me, it’s a real betrayal when you thought they cared. I hope no one gets cheated on or messed around, they are immoral scum, don’t lower yourself to treating new people with dis trust but don’t be a fool and let the new person know your boundaries and vet them as a person before you invest real money, time and emotional investment.
Read the comments I put please. It is so hard. 20 years in and we have a kid and lost babies and battled many addictions and beat them and it's AlOT of hurt and trauma. I would have NEVER hurt him and have so much love idk what to do
I cheated. I'm sorry you went through that pain. It effects the person who cheated if they REGRET and go through GUILT. The most selfish act made me self reflect on myself. It's hard looking at yourself when your wrong
Learn from it and don’t do it again.
Why did you cheat?
@@jimmyexe7445 I cheated because I was selfish and ungrateful. Unable to understand what was important. Lying to myself. Lied to everyone.
@@baritone4538 you don't have to condemn yourself. The fact that you have reflected and grown is amazing ..... look forward now and work on the areas of weakness that contributed to you making poor decisions. Not everyone is as self aware as you are.
@@baritone4538 my husband cheated months ago, and I let it go......it seems it affected him more than me...he lost weight and isolated himself, but I wasn't a good wife at all so I understand why he did it. Were doing better now and I genuinely forgive him.
Facts! Why is it, though, that guys can't handle it when a woman doesn't have a meltdown when they leave or you walk away after they've tried to harm you? My last ex broke up with me and I was like, "ok, I wish you the best". It turned into him saying that I never loved him and that he can't trust that my feelings were ever genuine. I didn't respond and cut off all contact. Oh well.
That ain't it all. He's saying that to make himself feel better. So he isn't scared when someone loves him again.
😤
@@sporeham1674 I know. I wasn't going to play games. It's just funny that I was everything he said he wanted and he couldn't handle it. Was scared that the shoe, that never existed, would fall.
I didn’t feel like that, but it hurt when it’s like u didn’t care that I’m not with u anymore, it feels like u weren’t as important to them as they said pretty much
@chiefbeef2475 why should a woman care that she's not with a guy anymore? The only people I've missed are my children and my deceased mother. I have never missed a guy, even when in a relationship with one. No male will ever have that level of importance in my life.
They cut you but you don't have to bleed on everybody else.... period pooh! You did explain how... Work on yourself. Great advice and perspective. Being able to achieve your goals in spite of instead of inspired by puts most in a toxic space. Great message as always Bro. Stay Blessed!
Thank you
Why is there so many cheaters and lies in this world. I don’t understand how someone could cheat and laugh about it in my face
I will never understand
Because we're in the last days. Read about narcs increasing & reckless behavior abounding in 2TIMOTHY 3.
@@ThrouplecoupleDec.12 what are you laughing at
@@brycewheeler9587 guess what, it’s because they selfish and cowards. They have been raised with no moral compass. You gotta avoid them like Covid 👍🏽
How to get over someone that hurt you by Cheating or disrespecting you or mental abuse move in silent when you leave that relationship give yourself 6 months before you get into another one in the meantime work on yourself by taking their corrective criticism too hard they might have said things about you in a mean manor at the same time it was true and that is the part you got to work on that person needed to tell you what was wrong with you so you can go fix yourself up and get ready somebody better for you God has a way of sending you your blessing in the wrong situation
🙏 thank u for this comment.
Who else been done wrong with pure intentions?
Here. The man was married. Lied. Had many women pregnant. Lies about the children and who their father was. Had his secrets right in front of the women. Denied children. Brought other women around . It was horrible. I’m still healing. He’s dead now.
I'm so glad you realized that it was unhealthy to come up in life just to spite someone. You positively turned it around for yourself. As always, Thank you for sharing your testimonies 👍
Married 26 yrs.
Abused physically and mentally.
He said"you will be begging me back".
I slapped myself in the face and said "you will make it on your own".
I worked three jobs..
Now have my own home, truck, self confidence.
Proposed to twice.
"NO WAY IN HE'LL THAT I WILL EVER GO INTO ANOTHER MARRIAGE.
Good on you. Proud of your determination. Still keep an open mind and look for the signs. Just dont write off having a fruitful and loving relationship that may ultimately lead to marriage. Wishing you only the best, because you deserve it💫
People are here for a reason, season or a life time. She was your reason! You did what was necessarily for you to become the Man! Your first reaction was negative but you changed your view. I Love your content❤
Lol i did the same thing after finally ending an abusive marriage, with a man who also cheated 3 times before i walked away for good. I got on a diet, i hit the gym, i lost 60 lbs, i finished nursing school. I bought my own big beautiful home and take good care of my son. My ex husband is still broke, living in public housing, now has 4 kids by 3 different women and wife number 2 just filed for divorce. He has regretted the way he treated me for years, he told me 3 years after our divorce after he had already had a baby with the last woman he cheated on me with. He told me that he would always regret not treating me better and that i would always be the love of his life. He tried to come crawling back, no thanks. Weve gotten to a point where we are almost friends and coparent well but that is all he will ever get from me again.
I'm not gone lie this really hit home for me. You are spitting nothing but FACTS!!! I just went through this situation a few years ago. And you are absolutely correct every thing that person made me feel insecure about I changed and improved. Now I'm a totally different person right now today🙏🏾🙏🏾
It's the truth...that most painful, dark time i experienced was the impetus I needed to be able to say I needed and wanted healing. It says we WALK THRU the valley of the shadow of death, it doesn't say move in and get a zip code. Where I am today is 180° from that scary place, and I had to get thru my anger. I'm just thankful I experienced that now, although I would never want to have to go thru it again, it brought me to here, and here's a great place! LU, your white sista :)
you better let The Most High pick who he wants you to be with❤
Love child you are talking truth 😃
A little louder for those in the back, please! Truth!! ❤❤❤
Cheating experience for me showed me I was strong and knew my self worth...I ended it right then but...for a while, it definitely made me unsure of prospective boyfriends. Trusting someone again was a process in itself.
Dont show no one nothing young man. Prove only to yourself. Keep it up!
i hate that i waste it my time with everything i did for this girl
Thanks for sharing coming from man. That happen to me and once I let go the hurt may life changed in an amazing way. When I saw that person years later, I thank him because what he did changed my life in amazing way and that wouldn't happen if that relationship had lasted....
Awesome video once again man! My situation was worse though😆. Me and the chick were in church, she got with somebody in the choir after already having told the pastor we wanted to be married. And after i told my best friend we broke up he told me she asked to have sex with him while we were together but he said he didn't want to tell me because i was so in love with her. It made me anti (just like you said) women but when i ran into women whose kids dad's had nothing to do with them it showed me it's just some people in both sexes are just sorry people and even eventually i saw how that girl's life turned out, she suffered beyond what i thought fit for her betrayal. It's just too much to put on here but ain't God good though. He allows us to feel this someone cheating and hurting us ahead of time so we're not caught off guard.
That’s crazy! The woman from my situation now has kids with the son of the preacher from the church we were going to when we were trying to fix things lol
The devil is upping the ante. People are more reckless than ever. I hope the Lord brings a virtuous wife. You probably knew deep down that she was untrustworthy. You knew.
This was especially a heartfelt situation.... I'm going through a similar situation married 14yrs and I found she in love with another guy 💔😔... it crushed me in ways I NEVER thought I could feel... I'm not eating not really sleeping
Don’t worry better will come. I’ve never cheated and found better.
Stay strong brother
How do you feel today? At the moment I feel like all joy in my live will be gone forever
I simply kissed her forehead, told her I'm not mad and blocked her on everything. Kill them with kindness
Lol me too
So True. Just move on and take as a lesson not a loss. Staying bitter don’t make you better.
NOT ONLY FIX YOURSELF BUT SPEND TIME WITH YOURSELF….GET TO KNOW YOU AND LEARN TO KNOW THAT BEING ALONE AIN’T BEING LONELY, ITS BEAUTIFUL AND MAGICAL
u speaking fact especially in our culture a lot of people are damaged and we get hurt and become selfish a lot of people are looking at it as if it's about the other people it's really about how you were hurt for anybody that went through it should understand
Success is the best revenge
First the comment, never clicked so fast, I love your content!❤️✨
I appreciate you fam
She’s the one who introduced me to this channel around 4-5 months ago.
She cheated on me 3 and a half weeks ago and I’ve gone no contact forever since
I’m sorry to hear that man. But it happens to the best of us. Just look at it like this… She did you a favor. Now you know who she is and you’re free to live your life the way you really want to live it now. You’ll find somebody else that’s really meant for you in the future.
@@TheShumakeWay Thanks brother. You’re absolutely right
@@TheShumakeWay It’s just weird because this channel will always remind me of her a little bit.
This is facts. The things you hold in your heart manifest into your reality and bleed into everything you do. My ex was extremely bitter. I thought I could change and heal him myself, I ended up making things worse lmao (it’s really not funny, I still pray for him to this day). If you don’t heal you’ll bring someone down with you especially if that person is unsuspecting and naïve
This right here is what I needed to hear right now. Getting on month two after getting my heart and ego broke by a cheater whom I loved like no other. I'm still using the pain but you're right,I need to use the joy. I'm not the same person anymore,I'm a better person.
Thanks for sharing. She was a bum. God bless 🙌🏽 . Im working through this now, at 45. Tried to date again after getting divorced in my 30s (met a man 2 yrs ago who cheated with an acquaintance of his within several months of our relationship). He apologized relentlessly, after cutting off communication for about a year, we considered rekindling, after he seemed sincere (hie ex , who passed during heights of Covid19, created a lot on him and he learned it was more shortly before her passing). But Its sad that men in their 40s, 50s or should i say, ppl still think to cheat after pursuing you, asking /agreeing to be exclusive, pretending very well to value faithfulness and trust,claiming marriage is their goal with you, knowing even the pain of cheating/infidelity from both . So you think its solid, while I dont trust blindly but try to give the benefit of a doubt. It's sad, a little discouraging.
That gut feeling dawg, never lies 💯
This video is made in a style I don't usually watch. But it's really uplifting and healing. I am struggling right now, trying to cut off my emotional bond with a cheating wife. 8 year relationship ruined because of her narcissistic selfishness.
The comment about TV made me laugh my ass off. Totally relatable 😂 Your emotional honesty and wisdom shine throughout this video. Thank you.
What I realized thru time..is that to be really happy in a relationship and to find this one person your person is to have checked before u end up in bed if u have similar values, what friends u surrounded yourself with, if u can let go of some people, if u both have spiritual needs or not, if u enjoy doing things together. If one person like to go out and other stay home this will end in divorce or u will just stay for kids. I've seen it all. The happiest couples there r best friends. Just as u make love together u should go thru life together not separate
"Love thy self to love all others"........Nuff said.
“You ain’t bouta be watching MY tv with your lil boyfriend” 😂😂😂😂 i love this guy
Loyalty is everything for us bro .. once the loyalty is gone the trust is gone with it ..
Wisdom! Take time to heal, know your self worth and TAKE YOUR TIME!
i’m sorry, making someone regret what they loss is sorta lame … wether they cheated or left, it’s a reflection of who they are, has nothing to do with you.
so making them regret is a waste of time and energy, it doesn’t matter once you get past your emotions towards it.
why allow someone else make you feel worthless or less than? it’s all a process and never take someone so seriously.
i mean it’s okay to feel some type of way, all kinds of betrayal has happened to me but i don’t care anymore …
just make sure your up and live the best life you can
i had a gf (now ex) that had no respect for me at all, borrowed money never gave back always treated everyone more important than me, always made arrangement then didnt turn up or remember, then when i complained everything was my fault and made me feel guilty, then she met another guy and of course he was better in bed and i was boring bla bla bla, end the end no matter what i said or did it was just ignored, its really hard because when you are pushed away you want them more and blame yourself, oh yeah and she blamed me that i didnt give her space when i was being ignored ofc i will ask questions like anyone else, honestly she broke my heart with no care in the world
Cheating is never okay, no matter the gender. Never make the next person pay for what the last person did. Cheating is a series of choices. you make a promise to your spouse. You can't do things that hurt your spouse and claim to love them.Love isn't enough. You must also have self-control and integrity. Love doesn't hurt
Thank you for being vulnerable! When you said you felt stupid, this really helped me... a lot!
My ex was cheating on me with men and women. He then denied it, even though I had proof. Then he tried to make me look crazy. This whole experience has changed my world forever. I see people differently now. It actually made me realise, no one cares like Jesus. We can only trust him fully. He will not betray us! No one can love us like he does. We attract what we are, not what we want. This way we can never find real peace, for we are all broken. We can not give what we do not have. He is the only way out. Help us Jesus!
Great conversation, you keeping it real. It's the perception and how you handle the lessons. Keep the vibe going.
Good advice !!!! Good video !!! I too had that “ Ima show you “ energy too towards my family Then it hit me “what they think of me is their issue not mines” I came out of that into simply improving myself for self 💯💯💯💯💯💯. I SMILE EVERYDAY now bcz I know even in pain there is a lesson 🤷🏿♀️🤷🏿♀️🤷🏿♀️ I don’t hate on anybody I just watch learn & keep my peace !! Thx Blessings
🙏🙏. Thank you for sharing your pain- hopefully to help others. So glad you were able to rise above the pain ☀️☀️
Excellent presentation as always. Great lesson for all.
Thank you
I was cheated on..I know the pain 😕
Jesus will heal. Work on forgiving them and not taking it personally.
This man is so positive I had to subscribe
Thank you for sharing and being authentic with your truth! Powerful message...people stop walking around bleeding on people who didn't wound you. Unfortunately hurt people hurt people. Take a time out after a relationship to check in with self and then be open to unconditional love. Be Blessed!
I just found out I was cheated on. I don't know how to feel. I feel guilty for still loving him.
yes because you still love its hard to let go, i hope you didnt keep sending messeges like i did because you blame yourself and feel guilty it was sumin you did, it was humiliating for me as she never even replied and i did nothing wrong
Thank you. This touched me in a way you can't imagine. That's all I have to say.
Wow, that’s the worst. Glad you made it through. Stay blessed 😇
Needed this today. Thank you so much
It’s okay bro you’re gonna make it
Yeah am a woman in the red pill phase and am waiting it out cause I know I’ll make some really bad decisions if I choose to do anything now. I wish so badly that I wasn’t stuck in this phase... but I am and I am just trying anything (good) I can to change that... but the hurt really takes up all my energy... hope I get out of it soon...
keep ya head up champ. Ya got this bruh
This is called energy transmutation. Using negative energy to build something positive. Red pill CZcamsrs are good at monetizing negativity, but their subscribers are just wasting energy in a circle jerk that leads to nowhere. It’s sad. 🤷🏾♀️
Excellent !! I enjoy listening to your wisdom, your faith, your stories , lessons, experiences. Thank you! Many Blessings to you!
Thank you
HEAL!!!!!
Stumbled onto your channel.
Your a very articulate young man!
You did well in turning a negative into a positive.
Maybe the next 10k you save, you'll use it as a down-payment on a rental property...?
Trust me...It will appreciate a lot more than a car will.
God Bless you my brother.
Thank you for posting this… this was genuine and relatable. Thank you and God bless 🙏🏾
Àse 💫...u came through in a clutch...once again. This message reminded me of some things that I forgot. Keep up the good work young man...u are appreciated!!!
Going through it right now bro.
You did a very powerful video commentary on this topic; the best that I've ever heard. Keep up the positive good work!
Going thru the red pill phase rn bro💔 I appreciate the video really changed my mindset. I’m subscribed
thank you so much for this brotha , really needed this at this moment in time. You da man, was already pretty much on that path of just focusing on accomplishing things I needed too in my life, and im most certainly gonna continue on that path now 💪🏿
its hard when you do so mush for someone and they just throw everything away
Thank you for this. Right on time
I bettered myself after cheating, abusive husband left. He even stole my car leaving me stranded in the country! I was sad at first, devastated but went on to publish 4 books..Am an award winning author! Also started a ministry. Come on NAH!!!!
Good topic bro so sad we have to go through this but to me is a lesson well learn bro
Great content, my brother! Keep up the vibe!
Being a golden child running business keeping men out my bed was my goal. I love love in my bed.
These comments r the best n also makes me sad
I seriously cannot fathom the notion or entitlement of expecting or asking a good friend or a date to just take me shopping or buy me things like design your pulses or taking a fantasy trips.. like you're supposed to be a relationship because your romantic, a section camel it's psychological compatibility and not because you want your very own Santa 365. Just these girls at brag about getting men to buy them to shuffle you're so bizarre to me, like Ruben dating for 3 months now will you please buy a $10,000 purse for me? No I don't know why a purse should be $10,000 either but I want one and apparently it's completely reasonable for me
Really appreciate your videos. Thank you!
Much love brother
I needed this video. Thank you. 🙏🏾
Great video man. I needed this.
you petty bruh... not the clunker and you took the tv 🤣🤣🤣
That’s all I had at the time... a clunker and a tv 😂😂😂
I needed this thank you! respect
It was so funny... women found it funny. I’ve been watching it daily at work with my airpods on. Golden girl’s is hilarious.
You will be okay, dear nicer people out there! 🤗
PEACE and LOVE to ALL
Awesome video. Much needed advice for many.
Thank you
I feel it's unfair to say broke men shouldn't be in a relationship. Everybody needs love and you never know God's intentions for your life
They don't. Nobody broken needs a relationship. It's an unfortunate mindset to have when you think being with someone will heal you. Only you can heal yourself. That's why there are so many bad relationships out there because broken people expected their partner to heal them. All that happens is they drag their partner down and hurt them (abuse, cheat lie, etc)
Broken people need to have a good relationship with themselves before adding anyone else.
Broken men can be self destructing
Very important message. Thanks for sharing 👍😊👍
Can truly resonate with every word thanksss
Well said. Cheers!
Brilliant Video my friend. Thank You 🙏🏽.
I'm there right now. Have been for a year. 2 Step kids aswell I took tye biggest L a man can take. Never get with single woman guys you l9se at all angles.
That's the truth, the tears come bcuz they got caught!
I appreciate your videos. They help me gain a better perspective from a males point of view.
I just got cheated on too
I’m loyal and faithful 😢
Aww you're so handsome, hope you found your dream girl