Former elder and bethelite shares his story. Meet Gary
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- čas přidán 22. 02. 2023
- Gary started studying with a Jehovah’s Witness classmate at 15 and got baptized at 16. He went on to pioneer and served at Bethel for several years with his wife.
In this interview, he shares how a situational incident with his wife lead him to start waking up.
Wise and empathetic man. Too nice to be a JW elder. So glad he is now free.
My experience is a lot like his.
The JWs try to say someone becomes apostate by listening to these videos but like he and I its the experience we get from them that moves us out and these videos just validate that I’m not the only person that it happens to.
I can totally relate. Bad divorce, falsely accused by my JW ex, expensive vindication, zero support. Took awhile to get my life together. But it was easy to recognize the destructive organizational culture, and a long waking up process.
This is a pattern....same thing happened to me
@@Ava2969nyit's obvious - false allegations of domestic violence or worse have become the default in almost all contentious divorces - in cults its the rule always. They are determined to prove they are right by destroying lives and making sure families can't heal. Like a jealous lover they say "if we can't have them no one can" kinda thing
I always get so excited when I see you’ve posted another video. What a sweetheart this guy. I love the way he handled those darkest moments-focusing and tackling just one problem at a time. A great lesson for me. Thank you, Vevian.
Thank you for watching and glad you like the interviews💛
I understand completely how the Elders and congregation made Gary feel. It is designed to remove the little self esteem you have..... and make you crumble.... and feel completely useless, hopeless and worthless.
Yeah, that’s pretty much it. By the time I left, I had to start again, with nothing and a mind that was equivalent to 15 years old. And I was 40
Wall don't feel that way screw them
@@mrgordy1980 sad but true - I went into the world with PTSD and unable to socialize like a human being. I was lucky I enjoyed working and got ahead by working hard. It's just sad how these religious con artists ruin people.
@@rockpadstudios same, if I didn’t have work I probably would have off’d myself. It takes time yo build. I’m really sorry you went through that. Very sad time of life we’ve gone through
Elder for 2 years. CO visit when I quit. The CO and I had a personal exchange with the body listening and He agreed with my opinion. I didn't want any part of the program. The scriptures are clear on the qualifications and I'm embarrassed for the WT on the leadership. A real eye opener.
A fascinating story.... Shades of my own life here.... Which enable me to have empathy with Gary,s story and all the situations that arose during his journey through life... Some very similar to my own... Well done to Gary to have kept going against all odds....Sadly many don't make it through...
Interview was fabulous... Well done to both of you....This will be shared ...and saved....
This is one of the best exJW interviews I've seen. Thanks for sharing your story Gary. I took a lot away from this.
Glad you enjoyed it
Great video, Vevian. We met Gary 20 years ago when our son was at Bethel and Gary was in his congregation. Great guy and glad he is out!
I understand this. The amount of times I felt like Jehovah hates me. In the end I had to leave and the everlasting life card just isn’t worth the torture. Then later I realized, I have prayer, my Bible and my heart condition and Jehovah knows all things but I won’t handcuff myself to an organization obeying man as ruler rather than God, yet trying to spin the opposite, but not.
Well said 👍
Great interview. Gary has a beautiful story of overcoming difficulties. I really liked his final words: "whatever I plan is probably not exactly what will happen". Fantastic, this is understanding reality as it is, different from the watchtower's world of fantasy and alienation, which gives a false sense of security.
As usual, thanks Vevian for yet another very interesting video. 👍
My pleasure!
I enjoyed listening to Gary’s story. There’s many similarities from the beginning of his story….I too am from Long Island and I also was not raised as a jw but came in when I was 17…..in the very early 80’s. I’m glad he made his way out !
Thanks for this. As an ex JW i can totally relate to his story
What a lovely man 🌹
I 100% agree, I even started my own ExJW channel to help support the community
Woow congratulations on your success in freeing yourself.
Nice to see Gary on your channel. Thanks for the video.
Great interview!
Thank you for watching 💛
I am so grateful you both got out! I had those tapes going through my head for years with the doctrine. I am free and awakened! ❤
Wonderful!
I just wish my sister and mother would wake up!
when you are at rock bottom you find your greatest strength ~~
Great Job
Thanks. It is interesting to see that within the organisation, you are considered worthy, if you have good meeting attendance, answering up, not asking too many questions, and always in the ministry. They don't look beyond these things. This is what allows a lot of horrible people to thrive in it.
Another story heard about the a husband in the organization that married his wife and kept the marriage license, never sent it off. When the husband was found later cheating, he was confronted about adultery, where it was found he never sent the marriage license off to the state. So again both parties to horrific things to one another. Many don’t realize how dangerous marriage can be. I would stay single in the organization or be married when coming in, but not even being married before will prevent marriage problems. Singleness is the best way to go sadly if you don’t want to be hurt badly. Also the husband because he had many people that were family and high ranking relatives in the organization, was reproved and the wife was left to be shunned and eventually just left the organization. I can’t imagine the hurt she experienced from this situation though.
The only way to get out of the organization is each individual have to have their own personal Armageddon😂❤
Awesome interview
Thank you for information 🙂❤️
Glad you enjoyed it!
42:29 like your point about letting the discomfort bring us to the solution reminded me of the GTD methodology that I found very helpful years ago getting my life under better control.
Our story has many similarities. Bethel was like living in a witch hunt, my wife left me, and I was DF'd twice unjustly & trying to hang on but am finding there is nothing there. I disagree that taking care of your second wife has nothing to do with the witnesses. They labeled you an unrepentant sinner, worse than "worldly people" but your kindness towards your ex showed who you truly are. God is pleased with such sacrifices!
Gary, I’m sure I must’ve run into you at some some point, back in NY. We’re about the same age, but I was attending the Bayside Congregation in Queens. I knew a lot of Witnesses out on Long Island, and attended a lot of parties out there too. Well, glad we’re both free of the cult.
What is Gary's last name? I heard him on Cultmatum. His story hit home for me unlike the hubdreds of others I've heard. My kids are like his - it's rough but like him I don't want to talk to them until they choose to - but I have survivor guilt of sorts seeing them trapped. But like Gary said, don't worry about what you can't control. I've done all I can for them.
Nice interview. I'm curious if Gary feels that the Bible contains the truth about God, and if so, is he searching or has he found the people who understand and teach it correctly since he has ruled out the witnesses?
I love this guy. He sounds like Ray Romano lol
😅I can see that!
I missed the opportunity to get a good education because I chose my faith then overeducation.
I've been involved with the witnesses since 1973 I disassociate myself 2017 I got married 2016. My wife didn't leave me you believe it she stayed we have a wonderful marriage. The elders wouldn't dare bother in our affairs. Because they know I'm Italian and I'm from Jersey and I think they're afraid of me😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yes I’m experiencing similar unloving at the moment. It’s difficult to get your head around
Sending love from your sis in California ❤️
@@krissykatportal thank you so much! My love to you too xxx
@@UKS12345 the pain that we experience as a result of this organization’s abuse and control is hard to cope with. I have so much anger inside but I’m trying to work through it. Hope ur enjoying the weekend 🤓
You can meet whoever you want its your affairs and your guilts.
So sorry to hear that about your😢😢😢😢 second wife
I believe this guy. She probably punched herself. I wonder if she was an elders daughter. That happens a lot actually. When the wife doesn’t want to be in the marriage anymore they are coached by the elders to get at two people to say the same thing or if they aren’t able to they will tell her to say her spirituality is in danger by things you say or do. I’m not saying “every” case is this way, but I would say “most” of them. We had a situation where a couple was involved for years before marriage “secretly” and they chose to get married secretly as well so if caught together, they were, married. This sister was found cheating in her secret marriage, with other people while the husband was being faithful. As soon as the brother or husband came to the elders he confessed, told the story entirely. That they were involved years before their secret marriage. The wife was an elders daughter. She told the husband “if you confess we were involved years before, this marriage is over.” And after he did. It was. She went to the congregation and told them he was a danger to her and her kids.(Later it was found out even the kids were having sex before marriage with many guys as well) Until it was obvious that this “wife/sister” lied about everything. Took a few years but it came out all she said about her husband was only said to ruin the marriage, to be allowed to separate, and to make the husband look bad. Very very very very common. I’d say 80-90% of the separations/ divorces were this way. The sister making up stuff about the husband to get out of it. Always came out eventually. But not all of them. Most of them. A disturbing amount we would say. Research who you marry a lot. Date a long time. Because there are some people who are really deceitful when they marry in this organization. No offense to the “good” women in there but there are a lot of women who lie when they don’t get what they expect or want to get out of the marriage. ALOT. Sadly. But also there are some men who treat their wives bad as well. But numerically way less than women who were caught lying or making stuff up sadly. Best wishes to wives and husbands. This is a bad problem in the organization. One last thing, when it gets around the congregation or even the circuit of these false accusations, the others treat the innocent party HORRIBLY. They have nothing to do with them, gossip about them, and shun the person. Even when the truth later comes out the damage is done already. No one apologizes for the way the innocent party was treated. There are a lot of outright liars and horrible people in this organization. I would stay out of it. The games that people play in it are very hurtful and the ones who have been in a long time know just how to play them. Again not all the women are bad but I’d never marry in the organization. If going in, be married. Or don’t while in. These days anyway. This has been going on for decades though. Best wishes to all couples who do.
👍
Hey Gary did you know Ruben and Emily Santana. When you were in bethel in Brooklyn? That was my sister and brother-in-law😂😂😂
Hey Gary still live in tannersville I live right near there.?
Been where you have with the lying adjectives thrown at you and the denied marking and shunning which in my case the elders WERE encouraging. They didnt want members to hear what bed illegal things elders were doing in their personal lives. THAT is what was "disruptive". The were really irritated that the sister who was my moms student would inform me of their nasty remarks; such as they pacify you and say no one is shunning you because they see you as a person who would sue them. So on their side it was always about money not Jah's love. She told me the elders said to her theyre gonna watch to see if i take the emblems as if only THAT manner of anointing has any spirit or knowledge, and when i was crying at home my bible fell open and i read they wanted Nehemiah to hide in the temple for his life (Jews accusing him of building Jerusalem so as to be its king against the Persian king) and Nehemiah said this evil is in your heart not mine, because they know its a curse to go in the temple if youre not a priest. And i saw clearly that to pretend i am 144,000 to hide the knowledge ah was giving me is how THEY elders wanted to get me cursed as a fraud anointed. THEY kill the anointed and have WT permission to do so. One elder defended his sins against me by saying to me HE was the one i should praise because he was willing to get rid of me going to Utah Mormon BYU. Yet in the other room all the elders stood behind him so he could give Sunday talk the next day. So i dont know if you had actual demons and vipers like i had. Hell you got to be an elder. My sister got zoomed baptized and says to JWs i beat er up in her driveway. IT was our driveway, she was using MY mailbox, my dad said a trash lie to me from sister saying i slept with a woman so my rabbit could breed wither her sons rabbit; and then i returned the favor with TRUTH i told dad in front of her that her friend threw her out of her house for 2 weeks of frukkin her 15 year old son saying its not sex if it doesnt go in; sounds like elders definition doesnt it.
May I ask Gary's last name or contact info? I have a client
It’s shocking to live the corruption and dishonesty
20:58 He got treated like Bill Cosby was by a Karen 😆
It wasn't the truth it's a real estate book publishing company disguise as a religion. Remember what judge Rutherford said religion is a staring a racket he was right😂😂😂😂😂
Its real simple. First lie ever was "you positively will not die" JW makes watchtower that says millions now living will never die. Do i need to keep explaining?
Where in New Jersey why don't you say? I'm from Jersey I wonder if you went to the same Kingdom Hall😂😂
1914 they're All Dead and gone. Overlapping generation now that was funny😂😂😂😂😂
Is he single? 😍
People no matter who they are , are not perfect. You are expecting a lot of the brothers who are only people . Generally people who feel their toes got pinched because of their own behavior leave which you have the right to do. He wanted what he wanted to do . He and his wife at anytime could have left and gone to another congregation. Council is to come from the Bible not from the body of elders. If you watch the whole video he ends up being arrested , something not expected but his wife decided to leave him. Soooo is his testimony false ? Only he and his wife knows. His testimony goes on to say he was disfellowshipped , that doesn’t occur unless a severe sin occurs , adultery , murder , spousal abuse ( which has to be verified by two elders ) child neglect /abuse. I think he decided to write a book so he could justify whatever happened. The truth is something happened but he knows what happened and so does the person posting this. If she was disfellowshipped she to holds a grudge. So then his second wife divorced him. ……really not a great testimony . He loses his business and calls his ex and she has cancer , she asks him to stay and help her. He goes there and then she dies and he’s living in his car….so in the end he is a life coach hopefully he is happier.
Your God is not Jehovah God, not true fallower of Jesus Christ our Leader.
The problem is you not the Jehovah's Witnesses. The majority of JW's teachings are supported in the Bible.
Watchtower’s interpretation
Sadly, that is not a fact! Bible based...does not make it "true".
That’s the problem tho, their “bible” is corrupted by evil men.
Research Australian royal commission cases of child abuse proven
Jacob, as a former JW I've learned the past year that the teachings are absolutely NOT supported in the Bible. I thought it was for decades, DECADES. The only reason I thought the teachings was supported in the Bible is because THEY said so. Having them tell me over and over, meeting after meeting, stating what they said was the truth prevented me from questioning the teachings. It's not until I researched that I finally learned most of the teachings are not supported by the Bible. You believe it's supported in the Bible because the organization says it is. You're only listening to what they say but how can you tell if what they're teaching is true if we weren't to look outside of the org for information? For example, they believe Jerusalem fell on 607 BCE when in fact it was destroyed on 587 BCE. When I learned about that I went down the rabbit hole and I discovered it's IMPOSSIBLE to prove they are the true religion. I tried over and over to prove they had the truth but it was IMPOSSIBLE.