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85. What if I begged and pleaded with my ex?

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  • čas přidán 23. 12. 2018
  • In this video Rory discusses a common worry; what if I begged and pleaded with my ex? Are my chances harmed?
    HERE IS THE LINK TO THE FREE DISCORD: / discord
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    THE NEW FORUM IS HERE:
    thelovechat.boa...
    #nocontact #getexback #imissmyex

Komentáře • 304

  • @TheLoveChat
    @TheLoveChat  Před 5 lety +66

    Have a safe & productive Christmas to those who celebrate!

    • @princhipessa1969
      @princhipessa1969 Před 5 lety +4

      The Love Chat I’m celebrating with wine and your video. Happy holiday Rory!

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  Před 5 lety +2

      Save me some!

    • @princhipessa1969
      @princhipessa1969 Před 5 lety

      The Love Chat 😂 I’ll try ..

    • @saya6101
      @saya6101 Před 5 lety

      @@TheLoveChat Do you have facebook? Can I follow you?

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  Před 5 lety

      Unfortunately not, but i'm toying around with the idea!

  • @ulysses3007
    @ulysses3007 Před 5 lety +381

    Is funny how our ex hurt us in a way that we could never do if we were in the same position

    • @anonymanonymesten1442
      @anonymanonymesten1442 Před 5 lety +48

      very true! I would never EVER dump my ex the way he did me. We lived together for years, talked about marriage. I would´ve felt so ashamed if I´d been an asshole to him. he was the love of my life.

    • @onurbole7921
      @onurbole7921 Před 4 lety +41

      Sometimes it is so weird, that we have been in the same position for a loooot longer than they are, but we stick around because we think they couldn't live without us. We also cling to them simply because they are the only one in the world we can trust, and there is this part of us that grew with them and we couldn't share with anyone else. But then tables turn around and they dump us, we can't believe the one we thought couldn't live without us doesn't want us in their life. All this time we thought about this, we thought this person was kind of holding us back, we were overwhelmed with common goals and we were missing our personal ambitions we used to follow years ago, and we even felt like we were missing out something by not getting romantically involved with other people that seemed more attractive than our ex. Now we are alone not even feeling like pursuing our ambitions, we don't even find other people attractive, our brain tricks us into thinking we never had those breakup thoughts and we always thought our ex was the only one. I guess we want what we can't get.

    • @manikalee5631
      @manikalee5631 Před 4 lety +14

      yeah.. how can they sleep knowing they hurt someone terribly..

    • @Taran532
      @Taran532 Před 4 lety +2

      Interesting point 🤔

    • @mimes420
      @mimes420 Před 4 lety +15

      How can people be so heartless tho, I will never understand how they can just "stop caring if someone is upset because of their actions" i guess i have too big of a heart 🤷‍♂️

  • @liamhilton4117
    @liamhilton4117 Před 5 lety +218

    Only thing I don’t like about these videos, is that I didn’t find them sooner. So annoyed at myself.

  • @TJ-eb9ex
    @TJ-eb9ex Před 5 lety +182

    "Silence is golden."
    "Sometimes you say more, by saying nothing at all." Classic Rory. Happy Holidays man.
    Wisdom bombs left and right. Love it.

  • @Mushokabanji
    @Mushokabanji Před 5 lety +159

    Ladies and gentlemen, can we all just go no contact on our exes till death!!! If they were meant to be in our lives we would be celebrating Christmas with them right now....

  • @Haru-uj7hk
    @Haru-uj7hk Před 4 lety +77

    Every time I feel like I want to contact my ex-boyfriend. I always go to this channel to clear my head. Thanks Rory!

  • @michellel245
    @michellel245 Před 5 lety +108

    I begged and pleaded for a whole month of the breakup. We were together for 6 yrs he left me cause he wanted space and freedom. And my separation anxiety was out of control that month. Now this month i finally feel at peace with my mind thank god. It was the hardest thing to do of constantly calling him. He reached out three times since he saw i didnt called him anymore. But i feel much better and now i look back of last month what fool I was.

    • @bryanarroza2526
      @bryanarroza2526 Před 5 lety +1

      Michelle N same situation here

    • @aimeem112
      @aimeem112 Před 4 lety +1

      Same, he already had someone else after two weeks of breaking up

    • @dubhe4d
      @dubhe4d Před 3 lety +1

      update?

    • @stewart2313
      @stewart2313 Před 3 lety

      Lol crazy how it works

    • @rashidhaynes9620
      @rashidhaynes9620 Před 3 lety

      Same but she blocked me so I think it’s better for the both of us and for me to time to heal 😭💯

  • @randomizerteleviewage307
    @randomizerteleviewage307 Před 5 lety +83

    I got over her awhile ago, I just keep coming back for the truth bombs that continue to blow my mind. The advice for future relationships helps too, don't get me wrong, but wow...

  • @adohashiofas
    @adohashiofas Před 3 lety +15

    If someone wants to leave, just let them go. You’ll get better over time

  • @madikat9021
    @madikat9021 Před 5 lety +50

    Honestly felt like I had no control over my reaction.... I felt so prepared to discuss it but as soon as the words left their mouth I broke down

    • @KL-sn4ci
      @KL-sn4ci Před 5 lety +2

      Madi Kat, Same here.
      When she broke up with me, my behaviour after that, i.e. begging and bashing out, gave the impression that I never listen to them or give them space.

    • @sparks6477
      @sparks6477 Před 11 měsíci

      Same i started off so strong telling her fine ill leave ur life if it will help u. She was almost begging me not to and then after 2 weeks of no contact I broke it and said I regret it. She then said, I dont.

  • @Calidore1
    @Calidore1 Před 4 lety +22

    I think showing the emotions is sign of confidence in the connection. If it was really over you’d stop talking and go ice cold.

  • @santinogoring8860
    @santinogoring8860 Před 5 lety +55

    Silence is golden, while speech is silver.

  • @tommyornothing7301
    @tommyornothing7301 Před 2 lety +19

    “I had them penciled in for a 2:30 begging and they’re not here!” I feel so bad for laughing as I’ve been the begger! 😂

  • @PianoMan4Life1982
    @PianoMan4Life1982 Před 5 lety +26

    I did but I told her later in a few days that I have to let her go. I went into no contact and she has reached out several times but I have only responded with concise messages. I'm hitting the gym and working on myself and I feel much better.

  • @zaradezign8100
    @zaradezign8100 Před 4 lety +25

    I broke no contact after 24 days and begged and pleaded.
    I hate myself right now

    • @soulsearchin2093
      @soulsearchin2093 Před 4 lety +9

      You know what i hate you too. Lol
      Its alright girl. Its fine. We love you and we are here for you

    • @RenskeLogie
      @RenskeLogie Před 3 lety

      same

  • @tomwaits3780
    @tomwaits3780 Před 5 lety +45

    I begged and pleaded and I suddenly stopped. And I know that when we talked last she did not expect from me that I would never contact her again. I know her. Great advice Rory. Have yourself a very Merry Christmas and happy holidays. Best wishes :)

  • @Ekb620000
    @Ekb620000 Před 5 lety +17

    Thanks;)
    I feel better today. Even if he didn’t reach out to wish me a Merry Christmas.
    And yes I tried to reason with him and begged and lost my temper a couple of times... but those events are not a representation of me as a person or the way I typically act. He knows it. I know it. And even if we won’t be together... well now I know what is the smartest thing to do if I ever face a breakup again.
    Merry Christmas Rory

  • @kassie2250
    @kassie2250 Před 5 lety +16

    I’m so glad I came across your channel. My ex broke up with me (I consider him to be my first love) about a month ago. It is one of the hardest experiences I’m going through, but I really appreciate hearing your advice. It honestly gives me reassurance while I’m trying to love and value myself again. Thank you and I’m looking forward to listening to more videos!😊

  • @sihina4169
    @sihina4169 Před 4 lety +20

    Few days ago they were telling that they love but suddenly break up and treat us in a rude way all these love is a bullshit if u love someone you can't hurt them even after you break up.

    • @jahleelx9270
      @jahleelx9270 Před 3 lety

      Facts. I brought my ex a bunch of gifts. I even told her that if she wants to move on I understand but at least take the gifts. She didn't. Needless to say I figured she just doesn't give a fuck and never truly did.

    • @jahleelx9270
      @jahleelx9270 Před 3 lety

      I didn't cheat on her or anything. Complete bs if u ask me.

  • @gabrielrosado2026
    @gabrielrosado2026 Před 5 lety +23

    Silence as the snow falls.

  • @bosschedda_
    @bosschedda_ Před 5 lety +8

    This message is so powerful as I made many mistakes you've discussed. Now I know the correct way of going about things.

  • @DavidJarvis01
    @DavidJarvis01 Před 2 lety +4

    Dumped today after 10 months. Collected my stuff, told her to call me if she changes her mind. Time to work on my issues and go no contact.

  • @barbarariley3488
    @barbarariley3488 Před 5 lety +5

    Begging sucks.its annoying and it makes them really.dislike you. It lowers your value.

  • @Electronite1978
    @Electronite1978 Před 5 lety +6

    Broke up last Wednesday or to be precise she left me. Been there before so luckily I am familiar with NC and this is my 3rd day. Feeling pretty ok, to be honest. Yes the breakup was sudden and came out the the blue to me at least. But yeah I guess I should have been able to read the signs, now that I think of how things were.
    Anyways just wanted to say that it feels comforting to listen to these audios. It is like someone would really be there listening and comforting. You don't feel alone, you feel like there is another person present, which is great as I am sitting alone my flat :)
    So thanks

  • @sylwiaes9975
    @sylwiaes9975 Před 5 lety +13

    Thank you for this advice. It's what I needed to hear. I was close to break NC to wish my ex a Merry Xmas... I'd regret it later.. Happy holiday Rory!

  • @apphea001
    @apphea001 Před 5 lety +57

    I would reach out to my ex once every few days- to talk about the breakup and try to make sense of it
    And he was a real asshole
    He never initiate a text, but would respond immediately. Didn’t give me a straight “yes” or “ no” answer as to if he wanted to get back together
    I discovered he had another woman in the picture and realized he loved me chasing him and wanted to keep me around in case she didn’t work out
    Confronted him and dropped him immediately

    • @bguy86
      @bguy86 Před 5 lety +4

      apphea001 same thing with me , once I found out he was staying the night at her house , I went into no contact , she would reach out once a week and I answered with grey rock answers . Told her to only contact me if she changes her mind . She’s still in a relationship with this man .. 🤷‍♂️ she’ll block me on Facebook and then she’ll unblock me days later but not say anything , she’s put on Facebook in a relationship with this guy , and changed her profile pic to them two . 🤷‍♂️ when we was together she wouldn’t do that with me .

    • @apphea001
      @apphea001 Před 5 lety +2

      Brandon Guy she wouldn’t go out of her way to unblock you unless she was thinking about you.
      It sounds- if she changed her profile pic to she and him so that you could see it- she might be trying to get a jealous response from you

    • @bguy86
      @bguy86 Před 5 lety

      apphea001 I was thinking the same thing . Trying to get a reaction out of me . And the blocking and unblocking idk ... why she does this .

    • @bguy86
      @bguy86 Před 5 lety +1

      apphea001 she was untagging herself from Facebook memories for awhile , she hasn’t done it yet this time she’s had me unblocked ..

    • @apphea001
      @apphea001 Před 5 lety +1

      Brandon Guy is there any way you can personal message me on CZcams?

  • @willburrows7949
    @willburrows7949 Před 5 lety +16

    Best christmas gift... Warm hug every one

  • @sergedotcom
    @sergedotcom Před 5 lety +57

    Man. I wish i saw this earlier : (

    • @marcinkowalski2668
      @marcinkowalski2668 Před 4 lety +3

      Brother, walk away and no contact!!! That’s your best choice

  • @jessicahernandez1853
    @jessicahernandez1853 Před 4 lety +4

    Found this videos a month latter and broke the no contact this week two times, but I guess is never too late and I will start doing it the right way this time I promise.

  • @Alchemist_171
    @Alchemist_171 Před rokem

    Yours is the best channel when it comes to relationship problems.

  • @Alina-nt1kz
    @Alina-nt1kz Před 5 lety +7

    When my ex broke up with me, I cried but I didn't necessarily beg. He was kinda sympathetic at first. But we still talked everyday as friends and I didn't beg for him back but just had normal conversations. But then he suddenly blocked me, and I admit, I acted out of desperation and did beg him to unblock me. After being very cold and telling me he was done and moved on, I decided just to try and not beg or talk anymore. So it's been a month of no contact. I'm now actively trying to find a new guy but at the same time a part of me still waits for him and I wish that could go away 😩

  • @mayjahdixson997
    @mayjahdixson997 Před 9 měsíci

    for me, i've been on both sides of this situation, and as the dumper, I felt like breaking it off was the right decision, I had doubts of course, but the moment she texted me after about 2 months, I realised that us not being together was for the best. But on the other hand, as the dumpee it really does feel very overwhelming and the urge to plead for them back is very strong, thankfully I was able to get closure and now it has been about 2 weeks and i'm feeling a lot better, especially with these videos

  • @demendraravi8212
    @demendraravi8212 Před 5 lety +17

    I was ok yesterday but not feeling good today...

  • @alexcanyon843
    @alexcanyon843 Před 5 lety +4

    A video like this is great insurance, much like a prenup. One does not
    look for, or expect failure, but just in case this is good knowledge to
    have.

  • @h22sparkle
    @h22sparkle Před 5 lety +4

    Ive listened to this channel and its helped me grow tremendously in healing and self preservation aswell as self improvement. Bye exes hello new women. Jusylt think about it its not our first love and it wont be our last time heals all hearts just work on yourself with an abundance mindset and let their b.s they cause you fade away into nothingness

  • @strongerthanbefore6014
    @strongerthanbefore6014 Před 5 lety +3

    Married for years, he broke inside one day saying we both needed healing. He meet a girl at work and feel for her. He lied to her about not being with me then he lied to me and said he needs space. I caught the lie amd confronted him. I stopped messaging him or reaching out for 30days. Then he reached out and apologized and said he was tormented by what he did but he wasn't ready to talk. After News Years him the mistees and I had a fight. In the end we all talk and he said he has to live with her because he can't afford to go anywhere else. He said he loves me and cares for me and my well being and he told this girl that to... Everyone said to focus on me like I was because he said I looked better and he said the woman he meet he only new for 1month before she let him move him. Idk what to do because I feel i lost my chance of stopping the divorce

  • @crispychips546
    @crispychips546 Před 2 lety +1

    I wish I saw this sooner. I begged and pleaded and pushed him away and now he’s no longer attracted to me. I ruined any chances of reconciliation.

  • @robjohnson1638
    @robjohnson1638 Před 3 lety

    Hi Rory, not sure if you will read this comment being a 2 year old video but oh well. I had a 28 year relationship, she had an affair which went on for over a year I kind of knew which resulted in a year of terrible darkness and arguments and she left. . But up to then it was really good or so I thought.. Obviously after such a long time we still need to message, the house our son etc. Your videos really help, I listen most nights. I have made every mistake you mention but am learning. Thank you. xx

  • @foofy3406
    @foofy3406 Před 5 lety +6

    maintain NC over christmas! i am going to try my best to do so

  • @evanleith9931
    @evanleith9931 Před 4 lety +5

    Pencilled in for a 2:30 begging ahhh that's funny Rory.

  • @damientheomentrites6463
    @damientheomentrites6463 Před rokem +1

    Remember this that person you built up in your head does not exist if they did they wouldn’t have left you . Have some self respect and walk away and don’t look back . Someday you’ll look back and laugh

  • @xxxtentacion198
    @xxxtentacion198 Před 5 lety +10

    love your advice 😻

  • @DirtStarMaster
    @DirtStarMaster Před 4 lety +19

    I had them penciled in for a 2:30 begging, lmao

  • @189Mihal
    @189Mihal Před 5 lety +6

    Well he broke with me almost 9 months ago .I beged alot for months ,last time we spoke was in september on his birthday, he said he doesnt want to get back and I said Im letting go because I need to reaspect myself firsr.now we are in nc.
    I changed alot and grown alot for myself not for him yet I love him very much and I hope everyday he would change his mind
    But sadly i just think its to late and he just forgot me and moved on

  • @foofy3406
    @foofy3406 Před 5 lety +4

    i begged and pleaded and even sent a handwritten letter. nothing. so i have been NC since then. i hope he is surprised that i don’t reach out to him over the holidays. that’s prob the only reason i will even cross his mind.

  • @dimicaimano5734
    @dimicaimano5734 Před 5 lety +12

    she has a rebound or 2 .. its time for me to move on

    • @tamiahinton1484
      @tamiahinton1484 Před 4 lety

      dimi caimano and ?u have no control over her let her be happy and u control what u can .

  • @celestenova338
    @celestenova338 Před 2 lety

    What about a “it’s not a good idea that we stay in contact unless it’s about business. Wish you the best of luck” message???? I did this with the full intension of getting my emotional state to a good place but would also eventually like to reconcile if we’re in the right place 🙄

  • @VV-zb7pm
    @VV-zb7pm Před 4 lety +1

    Thank you, your videos are an amazing support to me these days

  • @nielsdaemen
    @nielsdaemen Před rokem +1

    *"Actions can say a lot more than words"*

  • @ThaGlittersAintGold
    @ThaGlittersAintGold Před 3 lety

    Hell yeah. Thanks Rory. You just answered my question

  • @ILORl
    @ILORl Před 4 lety +8

    8 months sober from him

  • @epicbehavior
    @epicbehavior Před 4 lety +2

    Didn’t do this but I kept asking questions because the shit didn’t make sense.

  • @charles-kim.travels
    @charles-kim.travels Před 3 lety +2

    now im confused. coach lee's kit taught me to do clean slate message, and i did 2wks post breakup. Now im in 4months NC. We have still open communucation as we are applying to the same company at the same country. shes hot&cold, but i dont initiate and i dnt react. soon we will be working together so im in completely unknown prospect of how to continue NC while maintaining calmness, with her as my workmate

  • @blakewaters8195
    @blakewaters8195 Před 4 lety +3

    Our relationship was long distance and my ex didn't even call. She sent some long ass message and it's like really? I'm not even worth a phone call? I've thought about reaching out numerous times but everytime I think about that. You don't deserve to know my feelings if that's the kind of person you are.

    • @schuylerwednesday4679
      @schuylerwednesday4679 Před 4 lety

      Mine is long distance too..we see each other once or twice a year every time he comes here...now I know he won't come here anymore...6 years we've known each other or 7 then took him 5 years to get me to be with him...official for a year and a couple pf months...the person he was...relentlessly pursuing me for 6 years and going to great lengths for me is not the same person he is from the moment he broke up or even contemplated breaking up with me to how he is and how he treated me throughout this breakup. There were many reasons for our breakup... Didn't fight for him,old issues, arguments and he said he needs time to figure out what he needs...self love...but distance was never a problem and we loved each other.when he broke up with me he said he would still be there for me...so I opened up to him how miserable I am...but I didn't get the same support... I understand he wants me to be better...to stand on my own... The way he talks to me and the reassurings words he said throughout this breakup... Empty...I don't want to think he's a liar and I'm shocked that he's capable of this and inflicting me so much pain...but he's a liar...and I know I was not the best girlfriend at that time but my shortcomings...mistakes...I took responsibility for it and I know now what I have to do and need to do... But he knows I'm going through some health problems right now and a support system is vital no matter how strong a person is...he has made me feel I can still count on him...saying things like I can text him about it...and sending money which I refused... And saying stuff like I have to be OK till he finishes his stuff since he's studying in another country...that is what he is ...making me feel like I can still get his support but it's been more than a week and he has not even asked me how I am...I don't expect anymore... It's bad enough lying to me for three months that he was already contemplating on ending this while he acted like his usual sweet and cheesy self...pretended to love me when he knew how I felt for him...then the things he said to me after the breakup....there were times he acted like his old self...then giving me some reassurance about being there...especially when I'm going through this health problems...is even worse and I don't deserve this no matter what I did and how I was before...because that's not me now..sorry if this is long..really need to let it out

    • @kungfukenny1540
      @kungfukenny1540 Před 3 lety

      @@schuylerwednesday4679 Update

    • @kungfukenny1540
      @kungfukenny1540 Před 3 lety

      Update

    • @schuylerwednesday4679
      @schuylerwednesday4679 Před 3 lety

      @@kungfukenny1540 we got back last year.was rough for many many months.we are still together.but I can see how much he has changed.it is ok to change but not up to the point of being hurtful to others and he was like that.there are many times I question myself why I'm still with him.i feel foolish actually.
      I expressed to him many times how I feel and tbh right now we're ok so far.i know I'm anxious and I hate it cuz the tables have turned.he used to be the anxious one.
      And I think as a dumpee,we tend to have proper self awareness than the dumper.
      Anyway,we are trying to work it out.still LDR but I honestly don't want to expect him to do anything for me anymore.
      There's more to this story.

    • @schuylerwednesday4679
      @schuylerwednesday4679 Před 3 lety

      @@kungfukenny1540 what's your story?

  • @pedroleon2212
    @pedroleon2212 Před 5 lety +3

    I hope me and my ex work things out I hate being single 😭 isee love ones being happy together and I just think in about my ex at work today sometimes I can't help my silfe why can't me and my ex go back to the why there are imiss my ex so much but even if I miss my ex I am not to break no contact because I hope no contact will help us get back together with so I can be happy

  • @jkthakid8876
    @jkthakid8876 Před 4 lety +5

    Penicled in for a 2:30 begging 🤣🤣

  • @therobot6826
    @therobot6826 Před 3 lety +2

    What happens if you begged twice? Once the break up happened and second a month later? I haven’t talked to her for almost 2 months. The second time I did it, I would say it was worse than the first time.

  • @meenalaregina7770
    @meenalaregina7770 Před 5 lety +5

    Hi! If the break-up was out of the blue and you plead and weep in front of him at that point, then you go silent - what is the damage? Thanks!

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  Před 5 lety +4

      Not much as long as you're focusing on you right now. Some crying and maybe even a little begging is to be expected.

    • @meenalaregina7770
      @meenalaregina7770 Před 5 lety

      The Love Chat thank you Rory. After that night 2 weeks ago I never contacted him. I am picking up the pieces slowly.

  • @erstermontag908
    @erstermontag908 Před 5 lety +3

    TLC . have you done any videos about "Long Distance Relationship"?
    If yes, please give me the link/s.
    Thank you!

  • @airindiana
    @airindiana Před 5 lety +6

    From all the reading about this I think pleading or crying isn’t a big triangulation point and rather gets lost in the mists of time and other factors, provided you end up going NC and getting on with life.
    I don’t think it matters that much for reconciliation as true reconciliations seem to happen, if they happen quite a way down the road and there’s so many other factors I read about. I honestly think if someone gets to the point down the road they genuinely miss you and want to explore reconnecting, provided you didn’t throw a shoe through their window or cook their dog or blow up their phone for weeks, I don’t think it matters what you did all those months before. People who want something crawl over hot coals to get it. I reckon much more depends on how life gets hard for the Dumper coupled against the stark contrast of how differently you’ve changed from being upset to independent and confident.
    I did cry in front of her when I was dumped. For a few mins. It wasn’t ugly crying. But it was an 11 year rele. It was shock to be honest. I don’t beat myself up, I think in a theoretical model world of what to do, yes, if you’ve been dumped after say 3 months, try not to show emotion. But after say 10 years? Nah. It’s like saying to someone not to cry when they hear a loved one has died. It’s pretty impossible and you’d have to be a machine.
    My break up was fairly drama free, no bad words or hands and knees. I did a bit of “talking” for a few weeks after, mainly calls spaced over a week or so apart, whilst handing stuff back and preparing to move away form the area. My ex wanted to chat. I did explore how she was feeling and offer how I’d want to move forward if she changed her mind, which is technically begging. But after 6 weeks of it I’m into NC. I don’t worry if I’ve harmed my chances as honestly, I don’t see her having an epiphany any time soon and nothing I can do about my post breakup actions that have past by. I reckon it would be down the road when/if her life gets a bit tough. By then my being keen to reconcile and shedding the odd tear will hopefully be a distant memory to her when she hasn’t heard from me and I’m moving forward with life in confidence no longer getting on in that fashion and any sense of me being a lower level begger will no longer hold currency to any curiosity she has developed. If of course that happens.

    • @mohameddiallo5672
      @mohameddiallo5672 Před 3 lety +1

      It been a year can you please give me an update am in thesame situation

  • @QBlond84
    @QBlond84 Před 5 lety +2

    I was in 4 months long distance relatianship, everything was great but out of the blue she started acting cold, distance and bitchy. I ignored her for 3 days she ignored me back for a week and finaly she accept talking to me, but my problome was i told here i ignored u purposely. I tried to reach out and she kept ignoring me. 10days later she called telling me this relatianship is not gonna work. I went NC for 2 weeks then i reached out trying to fixe everything it didn't work. I went NC again for 50 days she didn't reach out. I blocked here completely in soical media and im trying to move on...

  • @Mimi-mb1yn
    @Mimi-mb1yn Před rokem +2

    I did the first days, but after that went NC for 3 months...hopefully won't wait longer!

    • @BiefBinkDVS
      @BiefBinkDVS Před rokem

      anything happened in the meanwhile?

  • @kadenpackard1345
    @kadenpackard1345 Před 2 lety

    I have a situation I need advice on: my ex broke up with me a week ago after a 3 year relationship saying she was confused and didn’t know what to do but I begged for 3 days to stay together which didn’t work so I waited around 4 days an send “Hey, sorry I was acting the way I did a few days ago. That wasn’t me. I honestly feel just as stressed about other things in my life too and it won’t happen again. Wish you well.” She responded “It’s okay, I’ve been bitchy and angry lately too, I think it’s just stress and trying to deal with emotions. “ I then said “I’m open again to try again in the future but my mind has changed a lot sense we talked last and I need to work on myself for me and if I move on I move on” which she than said “That’s exactly where I’m at, focus on myself and ensure that I’m happy, let time heal a little bit and then if we find each other we find each other” Did I blow my chances of getting back together and will no contact work?

  • @janetyu463
    @janetyu463 Před 5 lety +3

    What if it’s a short term relationship where we’ve only been together for about a month? What if I begged and then I messaged him “ I’ll let you figure out what u want “ and he thanked me and hope I find someone better? It’s been more than 60 days of NC and I think he’s seeing another girl now. Will I still have a chance? Im still so devastated. I still can’t move on even though I’m working on myself....

  • @SoapySlushPup
    @SoapySlushPup Před 5 lety +3

    I begged for one day and then got into the no contact rule. They’ve blocked me on everything but have kept 2 of my close friends on they’re social media’s. How can I get her to miss me correctly if she’s blocked me?

    • @trebalero9091
      @trebalero9091 Před 5 lety +2

      Lachie Dodds In the same boat. I begged for 3 weeks. In no contact for 3 days now it’s okay. Forgive yourself and stay strong.

    • @jessegarciaiv5380
      @jessegarciaiv5380 Před 2 lety

      @@trebalero9091 how’s it working out tre? I begged for 3 weeks as well.

  • @ffl165
    @ffl165 Před 5 lety +4

    I begged and pleaded and she blocked me on Facebook messenger and her phone and deleted all the pictures of us as well as unfriended me do I still have hope been in no contact since October 4

    • @naturalcharmer
      @naturalcharmer Před 5 lety

      Stay strong... And i know holidays are a tough times... And all those wonderful memories come gushing back.... Just stay strong and stay in no contact...

    • @alisaiful6717
      @alisaiful6717 Před 5 lety

      Move on. Stop wasting time

    • @U.Sir.Name7
      @U.Sir.Name7 Před 3 lety

      Update?????

    • @ffl165
      @ffl165 Před 3 lety

      She never came back

    • @hama.c.s5418
      @hama.c.s5418 Před 2 lety

      update 😂 same thing happen to me 4 month ago do i need no contact

  • @knudan83
    @knudan83 Před 4 lety +4

    In my case, as "the dumper", it was pure bliss when the begging and pleading from my ex stopped. He treated me like an unpaid housekeeper, was an avoidant in every aspect: no holding hands outdoors, no initiative to sexual interactions, no hugging/kissing/I-love-you´s at home if I didn't do/say it first. When we went out no one could guess that we were a couple. Him, begging and pleading when I broke up with him, felt like a desperate cry from a man-baby who had never taken care of anything by himself... I don´t miss him at all, but I still work on myself. I was secure when I entered that relationship but came out of it as mildly anxious. I feel anger towards him, which I work on by myself, and regret that I stayed as long as I did. So no... not all dumpers will re-visit the idea of a relationship when the dumpee goes silent/no contact. :)

    • @scootdoot5347
      @scootdoot5347 Před 4 lety +9

      Don't sound like u really cared,had any real feelings or even love for the other person u speak on the other person but seems u was just as cold as the person u describing if not even more cold hearted then them

    • @knudan83
      @knudan83 Před 4 lety +3

      @@scootdoot5347 I did love him, dearly, and I did everything in my power to make the relationship work. I performed and auditioned (to use a therapist´s words for an anxious attachment) for his love constantly and was given very little in return. My love died eventually, hence my cold language now. Those words I wrote are words written 2 years in retrospect, not as it was then. I went to therapy after that break-up and have been working on myself, realizing that we were not a good match.

    • @scootdoot5347
      @scootdoot5347 Před 4 lety +2

      @@knudan83 I salute your strength and trying to make it work.. nd I double down on your strength to recover, move on nd not look back.

    • @kevenrowe2958
      @kevenrowe2958 Před rokem

      @@knudan83what he if changed his life around. And was a completely different person.

  • @Afternoon99
    @Afternoon99 Před rokem

    When I first got dumped by my last ex, he said how my behavior ruined his mental health. And I was in love with him so I didn’t wanna lose him so I kept apologizing but once I step back I realized I wasn’t the only one in the wrong here. I realized he has shortcomings which I did not explain to him. Because at first he said he wants me to be happy even with someone else or by myself. I was overwhelmed with my emotions and anxiety and fear of losing him. But I realized that was what validated him that, yeah I was the only one wrong. Now I realized to always think before react. He said I was controlling. I finally got to say why I was that way because I had my point when I had to control the situation and him because he’s the person who is lazy and sometimes he didn’t do what he planned to do so why is it my only fault here. It doesn’t look like I was controlling when he decided to reach out to me saying he used to spend time with me and now he’s bored empty and alone…
    If I get in the same situation again at least I learn how to deal with it better. Anxiety and get you to do crazy things really

  • @JesseFox-ke2xt
    @JesseFox-ke2xt Před 11 měsíci

    It’s been 9 months since we broke up and I don’t feel any better. I don’t know how to get past this.

  • @ANAND6562752
    @ANAND6562752 Před 5 lety +2

    Please make a video on if no contact is broken in second week due to anxiety. Is there a second chance for successful no contact?? Plzzzz make a video on this

  • @smh6016
    @smh6016 Před 8 měsíci

    Can you address relationships for older people, like 50’s. There are other issues like approaching nest changes, menopause, aging issues.

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  Před 8 měsíci

      Sure. Is there anything specific you would like to see addressed?

  • @TheMoka4
    @TheMoka4 Před 3 lety +2

    Well I was told she wasn't happy and wants me to be happy and to let her go I'm blocked everywhere as well I'm screwed :'( was together 7 years

    • @rileyorr8947
      @rileyorr8947 Před 3 lety

      Update??

    • @TheMoka4
      @TheMoka4 Před 3 lety +1

      @@rileyorr8947 she's gone.... She's a bitch anyway selfish peice of shit

  • @IncredibleMay
    @IncredibleMay Před 3 lety +1

    I begged and pleeded... Even thought he was cheating on me... Now I regret doing those things.. now I'm in blocklist .. I think I lost him.. it's been more than 2 months

    • @wolfpuppclips2371
      @wolfpuppclips2371 Před 2 lety +2

      Just remember: Sometimes the trash takes itself out.

    • @IncredibleMay
      @IncredibleMay Před 2 lety

      @@wolfpuppclips2371 the trash did took out himself… now I’m happier than ever … 😊

  • @dipoohmundhra8615
    @dipoohmundhra8615 Před 3 lety

    Honestly speaking plz Don't ever love someone more than your self. Literally every one is a piece of shit and they only care about themselves. I have been through a breakup after 6/7 years of dating. I am male. And I approximately begged her for like a month. It was because we didn't communicate well. And I kept on telling her how can she do this . Can she live without me and all that stuff. Now after a while I realised that eventually all of the memories were only hurting me. Ups and downs are a part of relationship duh. Plz don't break yourself because of some significant other who literally doesn't care about your well being. Just kick them real good out of your life. Do it for your self kings and queens. You'll can do it.

  • @tellysantos2392
    @tellysantos2392 Před 4 lety +2

    my ex said i was needy & clingy, i don't need her but i want her, but I'll show her I'm not needy or clingy by NC!

  • @afc4919
    @afc4919 Před 4 lety +1

    Thx god i just said i understand and wish the best when she left me. 100% sure she met someone else and my respect died that moment and dont want her back, but its hurts like hell and I bet it will for a few months but i know i will find a better one sooner or later

  • @pappymcallister2492
    @pappymcallister2492 Před 4 lety +4

    Man I begged my ex like 3 to 4 times the first 2 weeks no positive results so I’m NC NOW

    • @oldcunt574
      @oldcunt574 Před 4 lety

      How'd it go

    • @windmill676
      @windmill676 Před 4 lety

      Pappy McAllister update

    • @pappymcallister2492
      @pappymcallister2492 Před 4 lety

      wind mill haven’t reached out been in no contact for almost 3 months I saw her during the no contact period but didn’t approach her

    • @windmill676
      @windmill676 Před 4 lety

      Pappy McAllister and? Are u okay now?

    • @pappymcallister2492
      @pappymcallister2492 Před 4 lety

      wind mill I guess I’m ok but I do wish we was back in this as a couple

  • @h22sparkle
    @h22sparkle Před 5 lety +2

    I did this before and i eventually saw them again since i had a child with them I improved on myself greatly and as for them i didnt like what i saw and after seeing this it made me come to a decision that i didnt want them back at all and no other parts of them.

  • @w1llyma1l
    @w1llyma1l Před 4 lety +1

    sir if woman can be control only if they attracted to us. is it very difficult in every relation in a long run even married?

  • @dreamweaver.
    @dreamweaver. Před 5 lety +2

    What if you went through hard times like losing a house and that caused a break up.

    • @cryptic9431
      @cryptic9431 Před 4 lety

      I was going through a hard time as well, not as extreme as losing a house but I gained 80 pounds and lost myself and that eventually lead to the breakup

  • @nabighachaudhary5683
    @nabighachaudhary5683 Před 5 lety +1

    I love you rori 😍 thank you.

  • @ToyBoyOP
    @ToyBoyOP Před rokem +1

    I did begged pleaded two times then she need time and after 18 days i gave her short msg that i respect her decision and i gave her break up 5 days before now i trying to fix myself

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  Před rokem

      Proud of you! This video may help:
      czcams.com/video/3bNi-Xu3hQk/video.html

    • @ToyBoyOP
      @ToyBoyOP Před rokem

      @@TheLoveChat is there any chance to get her back?? She is very egoistic

  • @user-rn2vb6mt5i
    @user-rn2vb6mt5i Před 5 lety +4

    hey Rory can you please make a video about when you get cheated on emotionally?

  • @npkrn6764
    @npkrn6764 Před 3 lety

    If ghosted or flat out dumped - you'll no doubt turn into the Incredible Hulk (male or female - doesn't matter) - hurt and pissed basically. 😤 So when in that altered state of mind, you're more likely to say or do something you'll regret. Therefore, I adopt the policy to do the exact OPPOSITE of what I'm feeling at that time. If I keep that in my head then we condition ourselves NOT to reach out to them, or look at their social media, say shit to their friends... NOTHING. Do nothing. I believe we absolutely CAN condition or train our brains how to react when highly emotional.

  • @Medehaneyalem27
    @Medehaneyalem27 Před 3 lety

    Wow you're amazing you helped me so much you have no idea thanks a I'm going to watch all of your videos😁😁😍😍🤩🤩😘😘🥰🥰👌🏿👌🏿👌🏿👌🏿

  • @positivemindset4295
    @positivemindset4295 Před 5 lety +3

    I made alot of mistake after break up. Begging and pleaded many days. We’re long distant relationship. Is no contact still work me? Do We have chance?

    • @uwuket
      @uwuket Před 5 lety

      Breathe. It's okay. Just cut communication. I *promise* you, it gets easier. I was also in a long distance break up, and I also begged and pleaded. You're not alone. The BEST thing you can do now is just cry, and delete all apps you use to contact them. Or at least NOT talk to them. Take care of yourself.

    • @positivemindset4295
      @positivemindset4295 Před 5 lety

      EllyBelly sadly after 30 days i text him asking if he’s fine. End up he ignored me again. Now start to cut off communication with him again. Thank you so much for giving me the advice!

    • @uwuket
      @uwuket Před 5 lety

      @@positivemindset4295 Yes, please don't think that 30 days would be enough. Not for your ex, AND not for you. Your ex is still emotionally unavailable, ESPECIALLY after the begging and pleading for many days. Just keep continuing with No Contact, this time focus on yourself. We need to respect ourselves. We need to heal. Use the time to make yourself happy again. Day by day. Day by day.
      It has been 29 days after the break up for me, and over 1 week into a second NC period (because he reached out to ask if I was okay but told me he isn't focused on reconciliation) I told him not to talk to me anymore, so now I'm doing NC indefinitely. We can do this!

    • @positivemindset4295
      @positivemindset4295 Před 5 lety

      EllyBelly i will, fighting! We can do it.

    • @positivemindset4295
      @positivemindset4295 Před 5 lety

      EllyBelly sometimes I just wonder if he got cheat on me in long distance😢

  • @mikevienna3480
    @mikevienna3480 Před 2 lety

    What about sending them a letter and telling them that you need space from them?

  • @AndrexToh
    @AndrexToh Před 5 lety +1

    How about if reason broke up because had another 3rd party step in?

  • @MANJI27
    @MANJI27 Před 3 lety

    my ex told me during the time of the break up that she knew i wasn't going to contact her again, so now that i went totally cold turkey no contact at her it means thati did something she expected?Maybe she thinks i dont want her back again.Please can you help me with this?Thanks for your great job it gives me a lot of courage.

  • @0ffIine25
    @0ffIine25 Před 5 lety +2

    I broke contact...
    Because she texted me happy birthday lol i responded two hours later saying thank you.

    • @raziyababayeva
      @raziyababayeva Před 5 lety

      its her who broke no contact, not you.

    • @0ffIine25
      @0ffIine25 Před 5 lety

      Thanks for the support but i was saying it in a joking way i was three months in before it happened yesterday

    • @0ffIine25
      @0ffIine25 Před 5 lety

      @@clara7920 yes ma'am i know i didnt think it was a breadcrumb more like being indirect nice i guess

  • @Jordantzd
    @Jordantzd Před 4 lety

    After begging and pleading for 2 weeks, I told my ex I’m moving on for good but leaving the door open for future possibilities. Did I fuck up somewhere?

    • @stewart2313
      @stewart2313 Před 3 lety +1

      It’s best to give her uncertainty.

  • @KingCsmic
    @KingCsmic Před 5 lety +2

    What do I do if am in no contact haven't spoken to my ex since the break but she texts me saying she's happy wit the guy she cheated n left me for n that they are forever n me n her would never get back together I still love n I believe sooner or later we will be together again but wat does that mean tho cuz she still tells me she loves me n care about me she just not in love with me

    • @h22sparkle
      @h22sparkle Před 5 lety +3

      Oh fuck that bro shes saying that outta spite. Dont have any contact with her and move on rebound relationships dont last and since she moved on once her relationship rebound dumps her dont take her back. Just work on yourself and meet other women.

    • @tygermask1
      @tygermask1 Před 5 lety

      No long speech bro... ignore her!

  • @milagrosrodriguez4136
    @milagrosrodriguez4136 Před 5 lety +2

    I think they don't care if they had or have a rebound I blew up his phone n he never replied so it hurted me so much I never reached out again been almost a year idk of him or him or me one thing I know I will NEVER reached out to him EVER I treated him right in everyway him jumping to conclusions that wasn't true so he fucked up went ghost on me couldn't face me that its like he was a different person he did a rebound so with those actions shows me he didn't care about me so why keep reaching out I stopped he will always know n remember if I ever pass through his mind which I doubt but if I ever did or do he will know I'm not in his life because that was his decision not mine.

  • @mesarahkalantungan748
    @mesarahkalantungan748 Před 4 lety

    How about my ex contacts me when it is only because of his mother because his mother and I became very close to each other and we didnt tell his mother that its been a month since we broke up and I never contact him ever since. is it still considered as no contact? I dont think he'll be missing me because he is way too happy being with his Rules of Survival playmates so he doesnt have time to miss me or even think of getting me :(

  • @animefreakdill
    @animefreakdill Před 5 lety

    okay. now in my situation. when she broke it off. i didnt beg or plead. i let it happen. and 4 days later she started moving her stuff out. i was mean. and then. i begged and pleaded. and continued to talk to her for a couple weeks. her answer on things would go back and forth. i went in to no contact. and then she reached out a few times. then met up with me and we had sex and showed affection. then she left and said she wanted space. whats that about?

  • @csl5310
    @csl5310 Před 5 lety +3

    This seems to only apply for a dumper who left and got no one. How about making a video about a dumper who monkey branched and says he found the one he loves and left you for good ? I dont think theres no way of getting back together or missing out each other especially if the relationship has been toxic and a lot of neglect happened throughout the years of being together. No contact also only applies with those who have no kids. With kids this doesnt apply at all.

    • @granjefeTATI
      @granjefeTATI Před 4 lety

      CSLMarketing there are bigger chances of getting back if you have kids, and there is a way of making the no contact with kids

  • @wearanter1
    @wearanter1 Před 3 lety

    Lol holy crap I look back at things now and think of how stupid and idiotic I was..thankfully it took me only about 2 weeks to get over everything and pleading and neediness etc..than I simply told her i deserve someone who loves me as much as I loved her, and I'm done chasing, I said if she wants to share happiness than lmk otherwise i said you won't hear from me and to wish her well.

  • @mikemichaelides9979
    @mikemichaelides9979 Před 4 lety

    Hi Rory. I saw how you treat the breakups and you are 100% correct. I would like to get my wife back and the situation is like that.She break up with me before two months. She told me that she dont feel anything anymore. I was trying to get her back by gifts flowers and different things. But nothing.she pulls away more. She blocked me from everywhere. A mutal friend try to speak with her and her answer i dont feel anything and she was very angry at him. After that the last 15 days i disappear and i gave her the breakup she want and i keep the NC. I need your expert advise and what you think its next? Please help me..

  • @ANAND6562752
    @ANAND6562752 Před 5 lety

    Please make a video on if no contact is broken in second week due to anxiety. Is there a second chance for successful no contact?? Plzzzz make a video on this.. And plz give a reply to this comment rory cause i break my 2 week no contact can i initiate again to get my ex back

  • @simplyfit1girl161
    @simplyfit1girl161 Před 3 lety

    Wish I would have found these video sooner. I did do the asking about us like 3 different times, posting stuff on facebook to them and then they told me they didn't want me to bothering them on facebook anymore so they unfriend me. I know that wasn't the way to handle things I have learned my lesson. I then txt them telling them I wouldn't bother them anymore and that I needed time to heal/move on. I know now that I shouldn't have told them but instead have just done it without telling them. I have been in the no contract for month with out any sign of anything from the other person. Which now I know that this wasn't the way to go about holding things. I probably have mess up any chance of getting them back if there was even any to being cause we were engaged/living together. I had to move back home when we breakup so we live 2 hours part which gives very little chance of us running into each other.