How to Deal with a Bad Influence on Your Child
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- čas přidán 20. 09. 2022
- What do you do when an outside influence or a busy schedule threatens to sabotage your habit-training efforts?
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Tags: #CharlotteMason #homeschool #goodhabits
What would I do without you Sonya? I’ve learned more from you about parenting and educating my children this past year
than I ever have. God bless you!!
Timely video as we're often around a disobedient child that's near my child's age. We can't "cut out" the relationship and it's a lot of work to keep the obedience habit in place. Thanks for the encouragement.
You're very welcome, so glad you found this post timely and encouraging!
My 3 year old daughter just asked if you were a fairy? “She looks like a fairy”
Anyways 🤣 thank you for these videos! Great practical tips as always
You're very welcome! Thank you for stopping by!
This is a tremendous blessing. Thank you!
So much wisdom here, so beautifully expressed. Thank you!
You're very welcome!
So good! Super helpful. Thank you!
Fiercely guard your priorities and your schedule! 💛 I love this encouragement and reminder.
Thank you!
So much wisdom here. Thank you for the video❤️
You're very welcome!
So good, thank you. The "Sphinx" example particularly hit home, as I help out in youth group just for that purpose. I have had thoughts of pulling back, but instead will gird myself up again and see it through. Thank you for reminding me of my responsiblities in such an encouraging way.
So glad that you have found this to be encouraging and helpful!
This is just what we needed today, thank you.
So glad this episode was timely for you! Thank you!
Thank you so much! I needed this today.
Thank you for joining us!
Exactly what I need, thank you!
So glad this was timely for you!
Thank you for the godly insights 😊 I learned so much as always! I prayed to God for the guidance in homeschool and its plan and God has sent you Sonya! You are the God’s answer for my prayer! ❤ I recently got to know your channel and I am trying to catch up listening every day!!
So glad that you are enjoying these posts!
I am so blessed by you, Sonya.
So glad you have been blessed by these episodes!
Thank you so much Sonya!
You're very welcome!
I'm all on board with the concept of habit training, but as a mom with chronic illness and precious little energy to get through the day we derail very easily. I personally struggle with good habits because there are days where I have to choose, do I wash my hair or cook dinner for my family today. I go through a vicious cycle of trying to establish a habit in myself or my children, but just a few days in I will have a flare up and am physically unable to continue the habit or help my children continue their habit, it feels like we are constantly starting over and never making progress.
Thank you for sharing your experiences! This would definitely add a layer of complication and difficulty for you! Have you tried using the "Laying Down the Rails" resources? In "Laying Down the Rails for Children" there are activities, inspiring stories, and Bible verses that help plant those good ideas in your children's heads as another component to establishing the good habits. I am not sure if this is something that you could do when you are feeling poorly due to your illness, but I just wanted to mention it as a potential way to continue to target that habit without the physical need to be following around and checking up on the children to make sure they're still working!
simplycharlottemason.com/store/laying-down-the-rails-resources/
This free e-book may also contain some helpful tips:
simplycharlottemason.com/store/smooth-easy-days-with-charlotte-mason/
Lastly, I would encourage you to give yourself lots of grace and choose impactful but simple habits make sure you are not working on something that has too many steps to it. You may have already considered it, but do you have anyone who would be a good support in this area? Habits do not have to be only targeted during the day, perhaps a good friend or family member would be able to help you with that consistency when you are not feeling well!
Teach your kids to cook and help with home more, some habits form out of necessity, in your case, your training them will help them
Train by instructing and them doing, do not do it yourself.
@@ASmith-jn7kf I'm trying but they're only six and can only do so much to help. And we strongly suspect that they have ADHD which adds an extra layer of challenge to the habit training.
Thank you for the reminder to pray and take all of this to the Lord
You're very welcome!
Thanks !
You're welcome!
Very helpful.
Thank you!
May the lord bless your life.
You are a blessing for my family ❤
Thank you very much! So glad these episodes are blessing you and your family!
I struggle so much with my oldest. Heres an example from last week.
Last week we went to the dock at the park. The ice is thawing and some kids were playing on it. My kids wanted to go on the ice and i blatantly was like we dont go on thawing ice because ice is thinnest at the shore. The other family was like its fine we have been playing on it. So then my oldest wouldnt drop it. And it progressed to your mean mom you dont blah blah blah… how do you get your child to accept no answers in these kind of situations? My middle child just says okay momma and listens. But my oldest wont drop it and listen. I am often in the situation where it seems we need to leave because he doesnt listen. And we have left before… should i always just leave? We have gone through so many periods where we havent been able to go places…
Thank you for joining us and reaching out with your question! This post on authority and obedience may be of help to you and explaining this to your child. It sounds like he may be old enough where you can take him aside and talk through this issue outside of the heat of the moment. Including information for him on authority and obedience may help ensure that he does fully understand this concept. In the example that you mention, this is a very clear issue of safety and where you draw that line as to what you believe is safe and best for your child. Discussing this concept with him outside of these moments of conflict may help him understand that you are not making up rules here and there to say "no" to him for sport, you are taking the responsibility of the authority you have been given over your family seriously. It also may be beneficial in this conversation to consider those situations where you do say "yes" and highlight those for him as he may not be seeing both sides of it. Having this conversation around authority and obedience will set up clear expectations for him, especially if this is a change in your expectation from previous conversations or interactions over your family rules.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/authority-and-obedience-core-values-of-charlotte-mason/
Once the clear expectation has been set, it is important to let your "no" be "no" and to follow through with any consequence that you have mentioned. So for example if you have explained to him that when you say no he is not to nag you about it afterwards, you may have to put an educative consequence in place so that he learns that continuing to ask you will not work. This is a very helpful post on consequences.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/habits-q-amp-a-consequences/
This post is a collaboration with Ginger Hubbard and goes into a discussion of parenting mistakes that we all make. Reading through this post or watching it may be helpful in identifying if any of these apply to your situation and that may be helpful in stopping the conversation with him. He may be persisting in the conversation because he thinks he will be able to convince you of what he wants to do.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/6-discipline-mistakes-parents-make/
What if those influences are siblings 😢
I'm with you on this one. My take away was that I need to be more observant so I can catch them passing those bad habits back and forth to each other and nip it in the bud. The benefit of it being a sibling is that we at least have authority over both kids, instead of dealing with a child of another parent that has different rules.
Hi, Thank you for your thoughts and contributing to this conversation! We are all people, so that is just part of being a person, we all have what could be considered a bad habit or be negative influence on someone at some point. Be encouraged, it will take time, however as the other poster mentioned, you do have the ability to directly address it if you find that it is with your own child. Also, when choosing habits, you will find that some are easier for a child than another and vice versa, learn more about that in the post below so that it is not always something that is hard for one child in particular in your family.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/habits-q-a-habits-with-multiple-children/