How Much BPD Do You Have?
Vložit
- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
- Cope with your BPD symptoms using my BPD Card Deck: The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
shorturl.at/bxB05
This video will cover the difference between BPD traits and BPD. I think this is important for people to know so they can build knowledge into themselves or their loved ones. There are 9 criteria and you must have 5 or more to qualify for the diagnosis. All 5 of these must be moderate, severe, or extreme in severity. If you only have 4 or less, that’s traits and not the disorder according to the criteria.
Remember, this video is not for you to diagnose yourself. You must go to a mental health professional for that. Understanding symptoms is one thing, but a diagnosis is something else, which can help you seek treatment so you can manage and control these symptoms that are causing you problems. You may get confused as I go through this, and that’s normal, because diagnosis is not cut and dry or an is or isn’t kinda thing. There are many factors that go into a diagnosis and PDs are particularly complicated.
The nine criteria for assessing Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) covers a range of aspects, such as fear of abandonment, unstable self-image, self-destructive behavior, suicidal tendencies, intense emotional reactions, feelings of emptiness, disproportionate anger, and paranoid thoughts about others. Each criterion is evaluated on a scale of mild, moderate, severe, or extreme, providing a comprehensive framework for understanding and diagnosing BPD.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
CZcams: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
“The purpose of diagnosis is not to define who you are or how you live your life, It is to identify a trajectory of treatment to work on these particular criteria or aspects that are causing you problems”... thank you for that understanding
❤❤ easier said than done tho ❤❤
I've just about decided that there is scarcely a more tormented, but tender heart than that of the undiagnosed BPD/CPTSD. Before I was diagnosed, I knew I was different, I knew my mind worked differently, but I didn't know why, so I had no rudder to help me navigate my own behavior.
The intense fear always hand in hand with intense hope. Pulling people in only to push them back out again. Constant and continuous tug of war.
Now I not only understand myself better, but I see many of the same traits in others and rather than interpreting them negatively (as a slight) I can react from a place of understanding.
If watching these videos the last few weeks has taught me anything, it is that our society has a lot of undiagnosed disorders living within it. And consequently, a lot of tormented, but tender souls.
Here's hoping that at least a few of them find their way to this channel somehow. Knowledge really is power.
That's a wonderful and beautifully written comment! So true. And I can relate too :). Good luck on your healing journey.
you have no idea how much this resonated with me. Especially the part about how it’s making you view others behaviors...
Stephie Calligraphy this is my story. Like you, I knew I was different too. Sending love and light your way. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Much love, respect, and peace to all of you. 🙏🏻❤️
I hate pushing others away. Especially other women
I don't know what it's like for others. But for me I feel the emptiness stems mostly from surpressing my emotions. And I think also from not trusting people and thus not really being able to connect with others, cause I anticipate things going badly.
We supress our emotions because We cannot handle the pain.....I am now 44 and they have been suppressed so long I am totally dead inside and not even a Human being anymore
@@savedbyhismercyandlove dead inside I can sympathize a lot.. I think the pain has to come out in a controlled way. So we have a grip on it and selftrust can grow. I do it via mindfulness emotion exercise. Things get to much for me I will pull myself out. It's scary what lies beneath the surface. I try to think about how I am still standing despite my past. I try to tell myself I will conquer that pain. We are strong
Its good you can identify what causes the hollowness for you.
I find myself doing the exact same!
I can relate to this as well. At some point, I became so scared of abandonment and tired of engaging in really extreme behaviours in order to keep someone in my life, I become completely closed off and start isolating myself. No one can leave you or disappoint you if you are the one who does it first. It's strange how the brain reacts to this defence mechanism though. I, for example, realize that I am the one closing myself off and because of me any of my relationships aren't progressing but at the same time i can't help but feel so bitter and rejected from everyone. Asking myself why am I the one that no one can connect to as if everyone else is doing this on purpose, just because they don't want to be around me? The thought "maybe I am in the wrong circle of people" gives hope only the first several times you change countries/cities/groups of "friends". After that, there's only two things left - blame and emptiness. I feel it's either the world's fault for rejecting me and making you feel so alienated or MINE. Or I feel completely empty and numb. It differs every day. And it really is such a battle to realize that all these thoughts and feelings are made up in your head but you're not able to turn them off.
Dr. Fox, you are the cats pajamas! Theses videos are an amazing resource and I am very thankful you take the time to make them.
I love the expression, never heard of it before :) excellent video, I agree! Have a nice day y'all folks 💜
When I got the BPD diagnosis, much like when I got the depression diagnosis, I feel into a deep depression bc it was hard to even accept that it's a problem. Now, working with my therapist, I see that it isn't that bad, and there are people with BPD who are much worse
I was diagnosed with BPD, in therapy for 7 yrs and now doing great. Recently had a 3wk period where I was thinking about all the people that died in my life or moved on. Finely one day I got fed up with those thoughts and asked the Lord what it was. BPD came to mind and I dealt with the abandonment by changing my thinking and getting back into the moment. I found you on CZcams and quickly got the workbook for a refresher course today. Thanks for the encouragement!
Why cant i find a Dr like you. Someone who seems to care and has the knowledge and education to go along with it? Wish drs could do visits via video or phone.
I've heard mixed reviews (but more good ones) on BetterHelp.com. In some cases, you can get a discounted rate based on your income. You might want to look there. Also, Dr. Phil and his son created an app called Doctor on Demand that, I think, has doctors for both physical and mental health. Whether any Dr. you find on either app comes close to what we have in Dr. Fox is yet to be determined!
@Nate C. I agree I haved had tons and tons of counselors throughout my life.....nothing..they don't want me to talk about my past, just had a psychologist refuse to let me speak about myself at all let alone my past.....How Do I heal? I diagnosed myself with the old dsm in 90s, my overbearing mother gave e a book too but I learned in my psyc abnoral class.I have a degree in Psych..I am exactly all those things but the first book out said a parent will use as child against the other parent as a buffer ..which destroys your identity..My mom fought with my father all my life..it seems the old dam said that now there saying biological...no this a personality disorder , not depression disorder etc..That book was so spot on..I don't know why the psychiatry industry changes things..I don't have Disassoctive disdorder that's "new" junk..that was not in the DSM in 90s or the book that was successful in late 80s on borderline...Its the psych parent who gives no hugs, no loves but pretends to world and uses the child against the warmer parent who in the book states is usually the more loving parent but the dominating psych parent is jealous of everything and so then the child suffers more..if your in a two child or especially in my case a one child home, its severe.That is what the book said in detail..The class I had again described the traits of this psych parent and their use of the child back and forth between the parents...It was that simple..I got recently accused by a state worker of DID ,multiple, that's hilarious..How would anyone know because their has been not one psychiatrist since I was 16 who either just sat and listened, most with no solutions..and the current one who refused to hear about me or my past..So, I am old now...left with a psychiatric field that failed me completely! And changing their ideas on the perssonality disorder of borderline to " inherited and now he says you go into DID ,that's absurd! I don't care how knowledgeable they think they are..The book and original DSM that said this was an identity problem caused by a parent who psychopathicaly used that child between the other parent as a "sick" type of buffet..I'm not making this up..Find the book, Its seem title about "understanding borderline personality disorder," maybe...Yes many of those traits he said are correct and in that book in detail but NOT DID or inheritance which I was told is new DSM Idk..I just know what I went through I fit that book and the DSM and my abnormal psych class perfectly..but now why change it? I have a degree in Psychology but saying a personality is inherited is idiotic and going into another real or outside of yourself or another personality is a complete irresponsible readaption of an already defined disorder..Why do they need to keep changing and changing..My aunt was maid depression then it became "Cool" to call it bipolar..please..this has become irrational science.I was lucky to have very good psychology teachers when I got my degree in 90s and since then every thing has changed, why does the DSM have to change..
Why is it cool and "OK" to DRiNK but those drills love to put those " mental" people down who take prescriptions..Actually I want a drunk for years not heavy but then i got labeled because that overbearing mother said at 40 I needed to get on SSi, she tried several doctors then she hit jackpot, only I didnt know my mom was plotting an planning with my doctor till she was dying...I trusted him but it was not his job to counsel me..so thats his his fault.. But nobody since my rape and kidnap at 16 bothered to help me and recently this psychologist either knew my history but still I can t talkbabout anything? I lost my son because he wanted to go to state system because my no was incontrol of my child since 7, no i raised his completly she never babysat, I got him out 9f diapers wen to hospital he was sickly child not her and taught him to ride a bike at 3.3 that's young, he has big wheel i took his to every park aquarium taught him to swim skin board dive, skateboard played nerf, took him tobus and washed his face and sent him clothes out till 7th grade whileshe did what she did best ..put me down abusive for years since he was 7 cuz see the 0arent she use against me my father was weak but would no go alone completely wit her scheme..She won't in the end pretending the world as she did when I was a child..I was never ever protected..she should have stooped that rape kidnap because she knew he threatened my life to kilk me but she never protected me..but she protected my son from the big baby wolf borderline..which I havent been diagnosed,..its bipolar..Ya I repeated the pattern if getting beat up by husband and boyfriend throughout 20s..yep nobody counseling with knowledge and even if the dud now the definition irresponsibity AlTERED...too late my life is ashes..I am not a human being, not sure My mother saw me as one I was what she called a 1950s responsibility that women had to do, she wanted no children to be a reporter but not till 70s did women start to get out of house..I was a responsibility, not sure that translate to a child born to a mother or a human being..ya its an identity problem caused by psych parent , my mom was beat by her mother severly and she refused to speak to her making me have to protect her, so 8 could prove some worth which she later said was useless to her..
Ya couldnt please her, nor could my father , she works the "pants" in the house constaly calling him " a bald headed creep" my entire life..So, now nobody believes me, she transformed heraelf after my father died ti look innocent to the doctor and everybody else..
Are borderlines destructive , absolutely, and suicide, oh she went to NaMI classes to learn hiw to trigger me not not triggered me..oh how good she became..putting me down day after day breaking my soul..I could not rise above the abuse she gave to take my son live away...I truly could not rise above her hate..but nobody saw I, my doctor pouted with her she said but when did no counselor, address my bordeline problem well i was bipolar supposed..which many counselors say is easily misdiagnosed..one counselor said to me, i just met him" I not taking you on, your to difficult" when did this info come from?? Ok enough about this all alone crazy person nobody loves or cares about ..my aunt died in nuthouse..she was raped by her brother while my mom hid ..ya really sick family stuff but the always say biology..If something happened to me my mom didnt said bioligical things to me she said " at least you didn't have your mother throw cast iron skillet and try to kill you with It" So this biological thing..ya i think its dysfunctional family's..mainly Signmund Frued was accurate in many of his renowkned findings..
I have no future..I tried with current psychologist but he refused to allow me to speak of anything about myself..It was h "what can we do positive with patient",me, he doesnt kniw who she is.. Didnt matter unless he did know about me..I belive they want to lock me up..police etc.
.i have the civil right to live freely in a community of my chosing without harassment..i have had constant harassment i thought if gave them my child it would stop but my mother claimed the doctor plotted with her ,he denies this.. After 17 years he never spoke to her? She says he believed her and was helping..He denies it..
No group or organuzation organization agency will help me ...i know unbelievable, well that lockdown and martial law we just experienced was too unbelievable, wasnt it? We'll thank you for listenung if you did really that long junk about a nobidy on this planet..I thought i would better myself but i got trigered with the multiple personality thing he said, cuze Texas CPS lied about that on me... but if the psychiatry world changes it to DiD for bipolar too now..
whoa way wrong..Sybil is multiple personality ,this is not accurate to place such a label on bordeline or bipolar etc but i guess i can now see hes from Texas and im not going to UT university for counseling, they havent finished their degrees but they are now taught irresponsiblity false diagnosis attached ..Well, Im crazy and nobody will be my friend and neighbirs are scared and abusive to me and my pets, saying my dog has mange, worms, just got him from pound but my service dog died he protected me, they attacked him and said that dog isn't supposed to be in here where is his vest..i know ADA laws very well, through..she was playing cards,I never went to pet park he used to cry, my service dog but i knew because everbody snubbed me, but I wanted to play cards be friends with all these neighbirs and communities hating on me.. with these seniors ,i was just checking my mail and getting out of building but she had to stop me and my dog when they knew he was service dog and back me in corner and confront me with a wheres his vest and was he a service dog,he had collar and i know the laws better than most people.. , well first It was why is that dog in here!!! Yes, what a life I live, so loving caring neighbors community.i know..
Its Me always the mental me..what a scape goat I am
its my right to be a person with disability to live freely "without" harassment..Threw.. those civil rights out the door,nobody cares about Me..
somebody high high up is keeping me from having a healthy happy life, no they drive me mad with their hate to me and my pets..yes high up..I law enforcement, but im mental who would ever believe my story?
The psychologist last month barely knew my name this continued..
He didn't want to help me cuze you gotta know something about patient..
but the reality was he probably did know i had a doctor law enforcement CPS liars and loving kind community agency and neighbirs and its just wonderfully horrifying!
This video is just so sad and it really helps those of us who don't have BPD to remember just what people with BPD go through, sometimes daily and to such varying degrees. I'm just speechless about the resiliency of people with BPD.
Can or have you made a video on bpd and drugs. Like how certain recreational drugs affect the individual with bpd (better or worse)
Drugs can make bpd worse. Especially if you are not much self aware.
But with 1 or 2 year, it's impact will be gone.
I’ve been in a relationship with a woman who has bpd traits and it has broken me down. She’s currently in the midst of a split and I haven’t spoken to her in almost 2 weeks. It’s really the hardest thing in the world because I love her and I know that she loves me.
What happened after that?
You're such a blessing. My daughter has traits and it's getting worse. Her counselors say she can't be diagnosed until 18. They have been no help. They keep telling me to let her fall. I've been walking on eggshells. Your videos have given me insight on how to cope. Thank you so much.
She can't be diagnosed until 18. So all you can do is have patience and hope for the best.
I think I outgrew most of my symptoms. I'm 52 now and simply stopped caring (to some extent) what people think of me.
I do think that can happen my mom is 52 and alot of her symptoms calmed down she used to be hell on wheels growning up. Now i have traits and hoping it dont get worse im working on myself
Can you please do a video on the difference between Bpd and pda or autism😊❤
Hi Dr Fox thank you for describing BPD, I was diagnosed in 2014 but was not told by my own doctor until 2018. When I asked him what is BPD he just wrote on a post it note to look at a website on the internet (no explanation given) so I am extremely happy that you have done these videos as they have been so helpful to me
I love how you end your videos. That smile seems so sincere and is very heart warming and leaves me feeling hopeful.
I'm so glad!
I just found your channel and have been watching a lot of your videos. I love them and I do this thing where I will get stuck watching videos about BPD to validate my struggles, but this time around, I notice I'm not relating as much and to me that is huge. Especially with mentions of black and white thinking or self-esteem, especially idealization and devaluation and I control my anger very well. Thanks for having great informative videos presented in a way that is easy to digest while not being stressful or scary. Many say,"Look at how hard it is for people with this." and I don't want to feel like I have an excuse to not improve. I appreciate your content and plan on sticking around.
I can't thank you enough for this BPD video series. You take an extremely complex mental health issue and make it digestible, along with practical, life-altering advice. You are a true gift. Much thanks and love.
Not only do I love how you are debunking myths of PDs and meantal issues diagnosis, but how when you talk about how someone with BPD experiences the world. That description of splitting is SO spot on.
It was really interesting watching this. I'm doing generally very well in life at the moment, and was mild-moderate on the majority of symptoms you went through (thinking over the last month), but just a few months ago I was at the severe-extreme end of things for most of the symptoms. I do wonder how long these things will continue to fluctuate for, but I've worked extremely hard on my mental health over the last 15 years and don't doubt that I will continue to do so.
Well done! Self awareness is half the battle xo
I feel like this too. If i had of sought help for my mental well being when I was at my worst during my teenage years i would 100% have been hospitalised. I relapsed for about two years where my symptoms were moderate but I got through and now I am doing a lot better. I am diagnosed with traits
I love the sound of the cicadas in the background.
I still can't find anyone to help me navigate my newly discovered BPD/NPD self-diagnosis. I'm growing more and more frustrated but ETERNALLY grateful that there is, at least, resources such as yourself. You are one of my heroes.
I’ve been told i have bpd traits yet I lost my job, my relationship after 6 years due to loving and then hating, being manipulative and stalking who he was with what he was doing online. started taking drugs and reckless behaviour, have chronic emptiness and past self harm it has impacted my life moderate for 2 years maybe more yet I’ve been given bpd traits
Identify your core content and find and build adaptive strategies. Not easy but these are the key to managing BPD traits.
I appreciate your videos so much, Dr. Fox. PLEASE do a video on the alternative method. I would love to see longer, more in-depth videos on personality disorders and assessments. If you offered this through something like Patreon for a fee, I would become a patron for sure (but I sure do appreciate the free education!).
I'm still struggling for years...I feel like I will never be completely well. I hate this disorder more than anything
This is the best explanation/breakdown of this I’ve ever heard.
Thank you for making videos like this. I was diagnosed BPD when I was 19 or 20 and the only videos I've found(other than recently) were videos discussing the difficulty treating BPD. Thank good for helping give me tools to live a healthy life
Thank you Dr. Fox.. I’ve identified on the moderate to sometimes severe on all of these.
I want to work hard on myself everyday but I believe I also have co-morbid with depression. I started taking Cymbalta but my depressed symptoms came back after 1 month of “ feeling better” because I am now starting to realize the the BPD is the actual cause.... I’m going to start weening off my Cymbalta, per my PCP and I want to start seeing someone for my BPD, and most importantly, rely on my own self and God to help me through all and any life struggles I have or will encounter.. I’m friend of feeling lost, lonely, empty and non self reliant. I want to feel full, confident, soft, gentle, and poise..
I love you and your work, Dr. Daniel Fox. I've been struggling for a decade or more and it never even occurred to me that I could have a chance of having this disorder. I've talked to several professionals from counselors to LPCs and though they didn't have the license to diagnose, they prompted me to seek outside help. I'm getting diagnosed soon, and I've learned so much. Especially from you and your kind, patient, and well-meaning nature. Thank you
In my treatment, I was always told that a psychologist is technically not qualified to diagnose BPD or any disorder. I tried to self diagnose occasionally when the diagnosis was not clear. Always been told to not pay too attention to labels by my therapist(s). I also read there was misdiagnosis that's why I was overly anxious to get a correct diagnosis. I was finally diagnosed by my second psychiatrist. I always read crazily on internet about BPD since 3-4 years. I thought I had ADD, I keep saying that I have this of BPD and that of BPD. But your video is good.
A psychologist is able to diagnose all mental illness . That is part of their job .
Thank you so much for this video Dr. Fox!! I suspected I was struggling with BPD traits for a while and finding your videos has seriously helped me start an incredibly fulfilling journey to healing. I ordered your workbook and was motivated to find a therapist who specialized in DBT! You are an amazing person and I thank you for your time and compassion. ❤️
Whoa ..I only have that type of relationship with a two faced narcissist... I'm myself & not afraid to be myself around non toxic people...
That's my conclusion as well.
I have all these traits, only two I would consider mild, but in the fairly recent past they were extreme. Everything else is from moderate to extreme. However, at times, my reactions are not as intense or my emotions are not as impactful because I have an automatic disassociation response that I have unknowingly learned over the years. I tend to just disconnect and let things fly right by. Then I don't remember things. At one point in my life, I used to say I have taught myself to forget things. Now I realize it is a disassociation reaction that is not intentional. I can't recall myself if it is deep. I have become so used to it that it is just a part of my life now, thus I believe it lowers the intensity of a couple of the traits you mentioned. Thank you so much for the insights! It helps me to learn and I think I will feel better having answers.
I find that because I am on meds for BiPolar disorder and depression I do not have the same degree of intensity of my BPD symptoms. But without the meds all of my responses would be in the Extreme category. There is also the self awareness that I've developed as I've learned more about BPD. I still recognize most of these traits in me, but again, my meds have tempered them so that I am more Moderate to Severe rather than Extreme.
I think I have most of the symptoms for quiet bpd except fear of abandonment.. I think I might have a lot of traits and this feels so exhausting
you just took the words out of my mouth except the hero to zero for me.
3. Unstable severe I have very low self esteem do to my trauma and my problems
4.recklessness with money and binge eating severe I use food and spending as comfort
5. Suicidal in the past severe not so anymore it's managed through therapy and coping strategies but in the past severe again the rest of my answers will be in my next comment
What if one used to feel fears of abandonment but is now simply so detached they can’t feel it anymore?
Then your abandonment issues have not been addressed at all and will resurface if you get close enough with someone
@@frododragons7389 having felt that recently it makes a lot of sense :,D
@@jul9832 yep it’s hard to work on relationship/love issues without being in a relationship w someone you love
I get so nervous thinking about this because I have said a definite yes to 7 of the questions, but the severity always seems to be an issue for me to determine. Usually they range from moderate to severe, but when I try to think higher than that I think I'm faking it. My last therapist said I tended to downplay my feelings to a really bad degree, but all of these intense feelings seem so natural to me now things have to be pretty bad in order for me to feel like they're severe or more so.
Jealousy comes from insecurity fear and embarrasment i found this to be my case in one branch of conmorbility of my mental tree !, congrats next video pleasee
I would be very interested in seeing more about the various presentations of BPD. More specifically, how the various traits tend to present in the different sub-types.
I think a better way to determine whether you have BPD traits or the disorder is whether your traits are preventing you from living a productive life. If you can still live a productive life, then you only have traits, but if those traits hold you back in life, then I believe you have the disorder. I feel this is a better litmus test to decide for yourself what you have. I think it's silly to say you must have 5 or more traits to qualify for BPD. What if you only have two traits, but those two traits severely hold you back from living out your full potential?!
When you look up a video on BPD to better understand someone and then the criteria start hitting too hard to home...
6.yes I would feel very depressed but bottled up but when did react usually exsplode 7 yes I would feel empty about alot of things and didn't do drugs it was more so food and video games
8. Anger yes intense mostly bottled up but yes dissociative symptoms not knowing who I really was yes because I had low self esteem so yes alot of these things have affected me in my life
Great presentation in this video and great clearly understood content. Has helped me analyse where i am now compared to previous years
Dr. Fox, thank you for this marvelous video! This fits into Dr. Marsha Linehan’s experience perfectly, as she always struck me as only having BPD traits or tendencies as opposed to the pure disorder.
Her siblings are adamant that she only met the criteria of 4/5 of the 9 after receiving torturous iatrogenic treatment from age 18 to 20 in a psychiatric facility in Connecticut. I’m highly suspicious that her mother was a certifiable Borderline. All this was in her wonderful memoir, Building A Life Worth Living.
From what I’ve seen, a lot of daughters of BPD mothers, who are modeling, tend to be similar to Linehan. They are more Borderliney (it’s the San Francisco treat 😂 ) than pure BPD. Having said that, it’s also why I feel DBT is more geared towards those with BPD traits. As pure Borderlines usually lack the insight to think they need such a practice as radical acceptance.
I've always thought that a defining factor of BPD was that aggression that most people who have it show. I've never been that easily angry but most of the symptoms you said, I can relate with and I can say is either moderate or severe, mostly severe. So I'm still wondering if I do have BPD but I'm sure I have the traits, and that I need to work into trying to solve these problems in my personality.
First question around 5:45
Just great, the perfect video at the perfect moment! Especially #9 explains a lot about my friend's behaviour. I thought of it as paranoia but it's really a lot of fear connected to the thought the neighbours think he is evil because of the anger outbursts. And that they will get him kicked out (again). That's seen through the BPD lens on top of it. Quite complex. Tricky actually and a vicious circle of thinking. Thanks so much for this video. It clarified a lot. I just would ask you to please speak more slowly in the next ones. I think you must be very busy!
Lisa S you can click pn the three dots in the upper right corner and adjust the playback speed to your liking.
Hi Dr. Fox!
So i just watched the entire video and I was wondering something. I am a 17 years old boy and I’ve been diagnosed with traits of BPD when I was 16 by my psychiatrist. I’ve been on DBT for 6 months and I’ve been taking mood stabilizers and I’m feeling much better now. However, while watching your videos, I realized that I’m on the moderate-severe-extreme side for more than 6 symptoms.. i know my psychiatrist didn’t want to diagnose me with the disorder because I’m not 18 yet and because I’m more of a quiet BPD.. like, here’s my autoevalution of my case :
1. Moderate to severe.
2. Severe.
3. Moderate.
4. Mild.
5. Mild (sometimes, it happens to be moderate, but I wouldn’t count it as a trait.)
6. Severe to extreme.
7. Severe.
8. Moderate to severe.
9. Mild.
Hope you’re gonna read the whole message and that you’ll be able to explain a bit more why I’ve been diagnosed with traits only. Love your videos btw! :)
Could you please do a video about having a BPD "episode" or resurgence of symptoms. Ex. I was single and stable for about four years but after getting into a short relationship that ended I had a huge BPD episode. I think this year in itself is a huge trigger with all the chaos already going on in the world. Also how to tell someone that you have BPD
Just discovered my wife has BPD traits…..4 out of 9!
I feel so helpless b/c she does not want to recognize this. Since I told her this she now wants a divorce!
Because you could be gaslighting her and she had enough
Examples or descriptions of the severity would have very helpful to get an idea of what we're rougly are talking about.
Great suggestion. Thanks
Thanks dr. Fox. Ive recently been diagnosed with bpd traits. I hit 3/9 but none of first 3. Not convinced I have traits but dissociation is a bg one for me. My official diagnosis is anxiety, bpd traits, ocd rumination symtoms and body image issues. I have a strong sense of self but had some bulimia/body dysmorphia bits. Im currently on prozac 40mg and promazine off license instead of benzo. Im in a whirlwind at the minute
One thing which I'm noticing is absent from this video, and I believe others, is the concept of cause, or the effect of the interpersonal relationships which developed in you in response to your family members. The case of Karen Carpenter is especially demonstrative, in so far as she had a professional relationship with her brother, and mother, and she developed personality traits which led to her death- anorexia.
4:20 since you seem to be a very strong believer in formal dx, it's probably worth taking a look at the inherent limits of the diagnostic system, and what to do if you have limited access to that.
Hope you are safe with the Flood s. You and your family is in my prayers.
+Tess Jones thank you. 🦊👍
Thank you for your calm and sophisticated explanations.
I have three traits I think are definitely moderate or higher and 6 traits that could be at least moderate or higher but I put mild-moderate. As I’m not sure. Self evaluated however. I would be interested in working on these aspects of myself because my mental health has seriously been affecting me recently. Even if I don’t “qualify” for the diagnosis just understanding more about myself so I can help myself is worth it.
Even tho ive been diagnosed by a professional and researched a lot about it and finally have accepted that i have this disorder i constantly feel like im faking it (even tho i know im not but sometimes i dont know) or that im just going crazy or just want atenttion (even tho no one gives me atenttion and i also dont tell people around me about it) i have the need to reasure my self with tests and videos all the time and i still feel a bit like surprised in a way that i feel so identified with the 9 characteritics
Resist urge to belittle yourself. Now that you recognize it, you can learn strategies to control it. I wish you well.
Dr fox, thanks for all the content! It’s so helpful for people like me that live in the middle of nowhere and don’t have access to therapy. I’ve also been watching recovery mums videos too, she’s recovered from bpd and has lots of helpful videos also. Thank you for doing these videos and not trying to sell us a program or something! Although if you did that I would probably buy it lol
I love her channel as well, it's good to listen to someone who has been through BPD hell. I also listen to Dr Grande, he makes some pretty good content as well. Dr Fox wrote a book on BPD recently, I think he mentioned it in this video, and if you have the budget I highly recommend it, especially if you cannot afford therapy (I am sorry for that). Other books do exist of course, DBT in general is effective for BPD. Do no hesitate to ask for references or anything. I wish you well and stay safe! 👍💜
@@LaGrossePaulik Thanks for your reply :) I actually do have his workbook! Im about 1/2 way through but stopped so I need to continue it again ASAP since I have been having BPD "episodes" almost every other day (I had a very bad one last night). I also have a DBT workbook that I think Dr Fox mentions in one of his videos (I think its his video?) but I havent really worked on it. I did DBT before I was diagnosed with BPD and it didn't help but I wasn't doing the work I should have been doing and didn't realize how much work I need to put into it for it to work. I think I just need to practice DBT skills regularly so that I can have less episodes
@@Leahv103 Yes this is hard and regularly work you are right, and it's also important to accept/understand what are your automatic thoughts and emotions to fully engage in DBT. Quite a big step! I am sorry to hear you felt awful, and hope those days would at least be 'less worst' :) you take care of yourself!
My therapist said BPD was obvious, even as a chronic alcoholic, so in my case said before we even try to get you off the booze (outside if checking in) we have to apply DBT.
Can you please do a video of BDP comorbid with eating disorder(s) and OCD? Thanks!
I don’t know if you would agree with this, as you’ve seen more variation than I’ve experienced, but in my experience with my current diagnoses that I believe are accurate it’s like dark/light.
If it’s day time (mania), next to nothing I can do can change that. The same goes for night (depression). But, it will become day again, and night again, cyclically.
With BPD, even though I don’t feel that I have a good handle on it, it is reactive and ‘triggered’, like a light switch in the house.
Which can be a really confusing roller coaster.
I see a few grey hairs poking through there Doc. You silver fox, you.
I did a test with my therapist and it shown I have borderline tendencies. Tendencies only. But while listening to this, I have 6/7 characteristics with minimum Moderate for all, which according to this video means I have BPD. I guess I should believe the test I did with my therapist, but while looking at my life I cannot help but think that I have BPD, because my life is a mess. Ouch
Thank you for elucidating these very complicated, but pervasive personality traits. Learning from these is therapeutic.
+Norman Spurgeon 🦊👍
+Norman Spurgeon 🦊
Agree with you Norman
Hey Dr. Fox, excellent video. I was wondering if there was a comorbidity between OCPD and BPD and what that might look like and what coping mechanisms you would recommend. Thanks for bringing knowledge to the people
I recently did a video on that very topic. I hope you find it helpful.
Great to see how therapy has helped with me with some of the symptoms! Thank you!
With this explanation I guess I am Definately NOT borderline. Thanks Dr. Fox , I guess I'm just a bit screwed up , ha ! Luv you ! ...And tomorrow I may only highly respect you .... but that's okay !,😙
Dr Fox, thank you so so much for all you do to provide info and resources to us with BPD and also helping to humanize instead of stigmatize us!! ❤️ I am so appreciative
Thank you! Very useful, and your timing is phenomenal!
Thanks so much for this. I don't fit enough criteria to be diagnosed, but I do have a few of the BPD traits that I'd like to work on since they're awful to deal with (mainly the intense emotional reactions). I also have PTSD from prolonged child abuse so it's difficult to know exactly what is causing which symptoms - but ultimately I'm guessing similar treatments will work regardless.
I'm finding your videos and workbook to be great for this! I wish more therapists knew how to approach BPD issues like you do.
This is so helpful. I'm trying to understand my daughter's journey thru this disorder. Sometimes I even wonder if she's been properly diagnosed... She started self harming herself as a teen. Now in her early twenties, I wonder whether she will be able to get a hold of her situation and live a fairly normal life... Thanks for enlightening us parents...
Starts at three minutes mark.
I'm curious what the alternative diagnosis method is, as well as when & why it is used instead. Thank you!!!
I’m sure no one will reply or read but it’s nice to vent anyway. It’s difficult because most of my symptoms have gone into remission however there are a few lingering with mild-little effects on my life now. It just sucks because medication did that for me, I’m not really changed, and without meds I’m BPD. When I did neuro testing I marked for BPD traits not compete disorder at the time I only had mood stabilizers not ssnri so I still had major splitting. However, without my mood stabilizers and ssnri I meet the true definition of disorder and it’s criteria, not all 9 but about 5/6 intensely. Kinda sucks if I ever lost my meds I’m screwed. At least now knowing what the splitting is and all the symptoms I had before that no one understood or misinterpreted I can say I’m better off as I can identify it. I’ve had mental health professionals tell me that I’m just over the guy im with prior to diagnoses or suspected BPD. Made me freak out because I knew that my boyfriend is the opposite of what I wanted to lose but they only triggered my belief of devaluing more which messed me up at the time!! Sick of the stigma and the fact that most people in the field don’t recognize it. Even prestigious providers at a well known hospital amongst the country didn’t recognize BPD.
My sister told her therapist that I have BPD and her response to her was 😬 “oh god” but everyone around me now tells me how much I have changed and became more relaxed & matured they also say that they can tell I’m on the right meds. My new relationships are stable and I rarely get triggered nowadays, it’s actually difficult to really get to me especially when my narcissist mother tries to, i have the ability to deal with her in a non combative and non reactive approach with little care for her antics. I don’t take many things personally anymore. Dr Fox if you read this I hope this provides further insight into the disorder. Perhaps provides you with more correlations that you’ve seen with us diagnosed with BPD.
I appreciate your comments and you’ve developed a lot of insight and strategies. Keep it up and this is a manageable disorder. Be well.
What if a family member or family system is causing us to have these emotions because they won't stop bothering us? Is this BPD? I recognized many of my really destructive behaviours stopped when I removed most of myself from these people, but I still have some of them and I get an urge to slide back when things get bad for me (job loss, bullying) where I feel stuck and have no control.
I always describe the disassociation as if I'm playing a video game and I'm controlling the character of myself in 3rd person mode rather than first person mode.
My anger response is ridiculous but it scares me so much I focus it internally, I can't imagine what would happen if I let it go outwards, I do enough damage to my own body when it explodes fuck knows what I would do to someone else!!
I think I'm doing better at the moment because I scored a few moderates and a few milds with only the emptiness rating higher (compared to times in my life when I would have scored myself moderate to severe in 6 of them)
Therapy tomorrow, I'm going to have to bring up the anger, I've been hiding how much of an issue it really is through embarrassment, I know I shouldn't hide or lie to my therapist but it's so hard to open up after so many years of hiding it all.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 11 years of age, and recently diagnosed with EUPD at 24.
I believe that both are accurate, but because the EUPD/BPD is more reactively impactful, and therefore outwardly impactful, people, doctors included, are paying attention to it more.
Which I suppose is good...but also not because they’re talking about removing the bipolar diagnosis, which would still need treated :/
{Question} What can a person with BPD do when they start to challenge their lens, but now feel like they can't trust their own perspectives and experiences?
Hello. Can you please create a video explaining the alternative model? It’s my understanding that this may be more comprehensive than the standard criteria.
Thank you!
Really informative. I watched it several times. Well done.
I appreciate your kind hearted approach.
I can see traits in myself but after therapy I don't think I'd meet the criteria for the disorder. I haven't had any behavioral episodes in almost two years now (although I still have to work to manage my emotions). My relationships are much better.
It's very good to read comments of hope like yours! 💜 I hope you will soon be able to manage your emotions to live a peaceful life.
Zinlia, I hope you find peace soon. I know the struggle but please don't give up. Many people are able to improve. You're worth the effort. 🙂
I’m in the process of being diagnosed and was told I only have borderline traits now and possibly had it in the past. I totally understand because now virtually everything on your list was mild. One or two moderates. Love your work here and has been beneficial often! Keep up the great work Dr!
The two parts of number nine seem unrelated. Or at least I don't see why they are grouped in one criterion.
Here from auz, thank you for being a great help
I have a question… so what if these symptoms affect your level of anxiety and depression and overall well-being, not necessarily your relationships? Does that still count?
It would be awesome if you could do a collaboration with Dr Grande . You both are the best each with your own style.
I am thankful doc. 💙
In terms of the fear of abandonment, can this be shown by a fear of forming meaningful relationships in the first place? I’m just curious
@dr Fox. Could you do a video about how a woman’s monthly cycle can exasperate bpd/personality disorders I am trying to find more info on this and there doesn’t seem to be much.
I have never heard that b4 the cats pajamas , I love it 🥳
My mom has bpd to the extreme She left my family to go to hawaii when i was 3 she went there to “take care of her brother” but after a week the calls started coming in less and less and she ended up getting herself in jail from being a drug addict my dad cut off most of our family my whole life so all i’ve had was my dad but i don’t feel connected towards my family that much i tend to spiral a lot sometimes i feel like i can’t control my emotions and my mind isn’t mine anymore i wake up and look in the mirror and i feel like i don’t recognize myself i feel so empty all the time i try so hard to make myself be happy but i just end up forcing myself to show off a person that isn’t me and i tend to wonder if i’m just faking being myself
How can you ask a possibly personality disordered person, whose perceptions are possibly distorted, to rate whether their anger reactions are severe...when those reactions...to them...are normal? Wouldnt you need to consult other people that are a prominent presence in their lives?
Hi Dr. Fox, ordered your workbook from Amazon...waiting, waiting...but in the meantime have you made a video on Cognitive Mistakes or Misreadings of Social Situations by BPDers? Thanks
Just found your account. These videos are taking me to church!
I feel so out of step. I have family that loves me, but I almost feel like its out of fear and sympathy. I have had near suicidal attempts that came Too Close, so I can tell my family treats me like they are being very gentle and accepting of me. Then I sit and wonder if it's out of fear of pushing me over the edge. They are only the older grandkids, and the mom and dad telling them about it and them wanting to be very careful. Yes I feel abandoned at times even while they are trying to be here for me. I feel they are walking on eggshells and its sad for me.
Understand your core content. Those driving forces and twists the false negative self talk.
It's more so how I feel but anyway
1. Fear of abandonment mild because I'm more afraid of being with some one because they they might mistreat me or mistreat eachother and sometimes even when there's no adversity I'm usually afraid there eventually going to be I'm afraid of being abandoned but more so of being mistreated because I have complex trauma
2. Severe I often don't react to big things because I bottle it up because when I was a kid my emotions wearnt valid and my mother bottled stuff up and then eventually exsplode so that's the habbit I have not reaction to things and then just eventually exsplode also something cold just trigger me bring back memories and I would sometimes exsplodeafter that more on the next comment on my symptoms.
Great video but what is that strange sound in the background that comes and goes ? ( I'm not imagining it !! Lol ) 🌈🌟🌠😀
that's an insect, i hear that sound often in the summer in manitoba! i always thought of cicadas. i have no idea if that is what it is.
Thank you so much Dr Fox 🤍🙏🏻
I've got different mental disorder cause by my childhood traumas... I don't know what to do but im glad im still Alive right now. I just dont know until when.