Theo Von | The Most OUTRAGEOUS Things Ever Said Out Loud

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  • čas přidán 31. 07. 2023
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Komentáře • 323

  • @smoteytothemax
    @smoteytothemax Před 8 měsíci +1170

    that fish story is so insane but really is hilarious. what a crazy irrational fear

  • @sombersoup
    @sombersoup Před 8 měsíci +302

    “These days you’ll throw a damn frisbee and it’ll hit a gay guy” 💀

  • @Ashbash-kf5xd
    @Ashbash-kf5xd Před 9 měsíci +992

    “Bro,….. You’d pay 8$!” 💀💀💀

    • @skp6613
      @skp6613 Před 8 měsíci +18

      I was just coming to comment on that bit lol I love when he makes Joe crack up it kills me😂

    • @Ashbash-kf5xd
      @Ashbash-kf5xd Před 8 měsíci

      @@skp6613 Honestly, I feel like everyone watches these clips just to see the one liner that’s gonna make Rogan explode. It’s one of my favorite bits too. The hilarious part is that my little brother did the same thing at school with his friends but he’d print off sheets of dial-up porn cuz it was a few years later, until he got busted by my parents for downloading a virus one time. 😂

    • @Leandro7470
      @Leandro7470 Před 8 měsíci +7

      01:27 of anyone want to replay it 😂😂

    • @HellsVictims
      @HellsVictims Před 8 měsíci +4

      1:36😭

    • @ayylienn
      @ayylienn Před 2 měsíci

      Always gets me 😂😂

  • @adrianmeadows2449
    @adrianmeadows2449 Před 8 měsíci +183

    Bro said 60 percent homeless😂😂😂💀

  • @N1CKs99
    @N1CKs99 Před 9 měsíci +681

    “The electrician hasn’t visited his genetics, he was just a little bit dim” 😭

  • @thecommonsensecapricorn
    @thecommonsensecapricorn Před 6 měsíci +177

    He’s so funny because he’s so insanely imaginative/creative. His jokes are poetic, he also has no bounds/no filter/no fear of what he can or can’t say…

    • @EEMV1988
      @EEMV1988 Před 6 měsíci +9

      No boundaries lol... it's hard to get offended lol because it makes sense 😂

    • @ZippyG
      @ZippyG Před měsícem

      It’s like when he said Joe rogan looked like a turkey, then see he was offended and said congratulations and starting making Joe laugh again 😂

  • @yung_wog4180
    @yung_wog4180 Před 7 měsíci +427

    The fact that he can tell this outrageous shit and at the same time be an incredible voice for mens mental health is just incredible.

  • @minishshakya6571
    @minishshakya6571 Před 10 měsíci +325

    "She was like 11 months pregnant" 😂😂☠️☠️

  • @zc1581
    @zc1581 Před 7 měsíci +135

    The lecedric story had me in tears. That shit was hilarious.

    • @kxnny2
      @kxnny2 Před 4 měsíci +2

      dude fr 🤣

    • @faithnewmar4015
      @faithnewmar4015 Před 25 dny +1

      I love how that LeCedric story cracks him up so bad he can hardly tell it. Awesome.

  • @LuisRodriguez-ll9hk
    @LuisRodriguez-ll9hk Před 8 měsíci +119

    “Some light inbreeding” is WILD 💀😂

    • @kayligo
      @kayligo Před 5 měsíci +3

      The electrician hasn’t visited his genetics. Somebody had not walked far to f 😂

    • @michikoomalandro
      @michikoomalandro Před 4 měsíci

      Local seed had been passed between wombs along his lineage 😭😭😭

  • @ninjarider84
    @ninjarider84 Před 8 měsíci +99

    "Like you didn't have to walk far to fuck" 😂😂😂😂

    • @thisjawnswayze
      @thisjawnswayze Před 4 měsíci

      That was the absolute best thing I heard.

  • @g.w.7893
    @g.w.7893 Před 7 měsíci +59

    Ya'll need to show this man some respect. He beat Down Syndrome.

  • @EEMV1988
    @EEMV1988 Před 6 měsíci +65

    " i dont know if im being a pervert or just being regular " You dont know what is real or fake anymore with him 😂 love it.

    • @myaiman
      @myaiman Před 5 měsíci +5

      Then just says onward 😂

    • @brandonohara4122
      @brandonohara4122 Před 3 měsíci

      😂😂😂 yeah she just casually keeps telling the story ​@myaiman

  • @JacobBelt1776
    @JacobBelt1776 Před 7 měsíci +34

    “Some people thought that they were made out of real turtles, and made soup out of em”🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @matthewsahai2240
    @matthewsahai2240 Před 5 měsíci +36

    "They're not acting weird, they're jus gaying"🤣🤣🤣

  • @MannyFig-ho7yx
    @MannyFig-ho7yx Před 8 měsíci +88

    He's the best at just going with the flow of what he's saying. It's so flawless and hilarious

  • @mikeg.7424
    @mikeg.7424 Před 8 měsíci +67

    “Lunar glow” “galactic twinkle”
    Theo, thank you for existing 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @cartispirit8310
    @cartispirit8310 Před 8 měsíci +81

    Wristing me out into a stream is one of the wildest statements I’ve heard this year

    • @KRYKiTx3
      @KRYKiTx3 Před 8 měsíci +3

      That hand magic baby, onward ..

  • @dsc-dark8633
    @dsc-dark8633 Před 10 měsíci +47

    “Onward”😭

  • @davidsnyder2000
    @davidsnyder2000 Před 10 měsíci +170

    The stuff and ideas that come out of Theo’s mouth are so off the wall 😆 This is why he’s a comedian 👍😂 OMG you can’t predict what he’s going to say LOL

  • @koifish3334
    @koifish3334 Před 8 měsíci +13

    ‘Flirtin’ 4 gay!’ 😂😂😂

  • @RedShogun13
    @RedShogun13 Před 5 měsíci +5

    “Somebody not walked far to f***” destroyed me 😂

  • @Chapman005
    @Chapman005 Před 8 měsíci +116

    I'll bet everything i have, u can't fall asleep to theo Vonn. A random thing he says will have u laughing ur head off

    • @josephshaw9537
      @josephshaw9537 Před 8 měsíci +7

      This is what I'm trying to do lol hahahahaha I was like peaceful video to fall asleep to

    • @A6Legit
      @A6Legit Před 8 měsíci +3

      You can't not listen. Gotta throw on a documentary or something

    • @notcharlie7107
      @notcharlie7107 Před 7 měsíci +2

      I’ll try that tonight, update you later.

  • @successandspirit
    @successandspirit Před 8 měsíci +222

    Omg this is gold. In a world where everyone is imitating everyone and sounds basic AF, this guy is in a lane of his own.

    • @koehn_adventures
      @koehn_adventures Před 7 měsíci +5

      This guy is totally legit 🎉

    • @ali19186
      @ali19186 Před 6 měsíci +6

      Theo ain’t in a lane off road baby gang gang 😂

  • @SonnyNoble-lw1nz
    @SonnyNoble-lw1nz Před 5 měsíci +8

    “I don’t know if I’m being a pervert or just regular”😭😭

  • @holdenmontgomery2273
    @holdenmontgomery2273 Před 9 měsíci +154

    The Hiroshima line is absolutely foul lmao

    • @Angelosanto
      @Angelosanto Před 9 měsíci +17

      Literally watching this in Japan, hoping nobody was passing my hotel room door

    • @philippjensen9598
      @philippjensen9598 Před měsícem

      6:07

  • @EternalChamp
    @EternalChamp Před 8 měsíci +30

    “You’d have paid eight” and “they got Ce-ment” 😂

  • @Thecrazyraven.
    @Thecrazyraven. Před 8 měsíci +20

    He didn’t look like he had been to the moon 😂

  • @BrandonStewartCS
    @BrandonStewartCS Před 8 měsíci +30

    Some of these are just pure art the way he chains the most insane words together

  • @musicandmania
    @musicandmania Před 5 měsíci +12

    My favorite thing is that you can't ever tell if it's real life or a bit and that's the magic. It's like. Bob Ross but unhinged

  • @sampilsbury9415
    @sampilsbury9415 Před 8 měsíci +21

    I don’t know why but the phrase ‘next thing you know…’ just kills me in this context

  • @danpeirce8566
    @danpeirce8566 Před 10 měsíci +35

    A little numb in the eyes…a little Polish

  • @austinwinchester
    @austinwinchester Před 8 měsíci +20

    "If you rearange the letters of sister it spells resist and thats the truth boys, so.. no candles at dinner you know what im sayin?"

  • @harrisgrzech1631
    @harrisgrzech1631 Před 8 měsíci +47

    He's such a story teller I love it

  • @Fayefaye90
    @Fayefaye90 Před 8 měsíci +50

    All i want is a podcast of Theo and Riff Raff just spittin the craziest shit at each other 😂

    • @kurtgannon94
      @kurtgannon94 Před 8 měsíci +4

      It already exists

    • @Kiefmonster
      @Kiefmonster Před 7 měsíci

      Yeah that shit happened

    • @513hook513
      @513hook513 Před 6 měsíci +1

      Did you watch it yet? Riff Raff was the only person I seen match Theo or maybe be a little bit more crazy lol

  • @oopscay
    @oopscay Před 8 měsíci +17

    SHE WAS HELLA PREGNANT SHE WAS LIKE 11 MONTHS PREGNANT 😂😂😂😂

  • @discussionsanddragons9178
    @discussionsanddragons9178 Před 8 měsíci +18

    "WaterMAlen" bro, Theo is not from this plane of existence, my lord

  • @tpacback
    @tpacback Před 10 měsíci +28

    Just the tits🫣

  • @bhaskarkakati
    @bhaskarkakati Před 7 měsíci +26

    Theo looked right through Buzz Aldrin soul 😂

    • @mgway4661
      @mgway4661 Před 7 měsíci +6

      And now I’m convinced he hasn’t been to the moon

  • @Zarrbock
    @Zarrbock Před 8 měsíci +43

    I work in a secret shopper type of job. I nearly fell on the floor crying laughing in the middle of an aisle at the Hiroshima pickup line

    • @Thecrazyraven.
      @Thecrazyraven. Před 8 měsíci +6

      Oh man I’ve always wanted a job like yours!!!

    • @KRYKiTx3
      @KRYKiTx3 Před 7 měsíci +8

      One time I was busted by secret shopper at Disneyland, cuz I used someones pass to enter the park. This dude grab my shoulder and flipped out a MICKEY MOUSE BADGE. And I was on mushrooms. I didn't stop laughing til I got home 😂

  • @Makai77
    @Makai77 Před 8 měsíci +11

    "No cap, praise God, we're workin' thru it"

  • @Where_has_the_sanity_gone
    @Where_has_the_sanity_gone Před 8 měsíci +20

    "Was like one of his parents was carpet" 😄 😂😅 guy is so funny!!

  • @reivax6368
    @reivax6368 Před 6 měsíci +6

    "$4 for drawings?" Of sweet summer child, how innocent you were.

  • @AWakestein
    @AWakestein Před 4 měsíci +5

    This guy is a word smith, the Shakespeare of our times

  • @leviathan68w78
    @leviathan68w78 Před 8 měsíci +6

    Dude that last one... "One of his parents was carpet." 🤣

  • @brother_of_bruh
    @brother_of_bruh Před 10 měsíci +36

    Great compilation dude, hardly knew any of these clips

  • @koifish3334
    @koifish3334 Před 8 měsíci +4

    ‘70 watt!’ 😂😂😂

  • @joshuanavarro8925
    @joshuanavarro8925 Před 2 měsíci +1

    Theo has a way with words that's simultaneously beautiful and hilarious, and I'm all here for it. 🤣🤣💓

  • @dooderman8361
    @dooderman8361 Před 8 měsíci +54

    It always baffles me how a human being is saying the things he says, like his mind just works so differently to be able to come up with what he comes up with

  • @doughboyexotics305
    @doughboyexotics305 Před 10 měsíci +17

    No candles at dinner ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

  • @jordangerm
    @jordangerm Před 10 měsíci +31

    Like one of his parents was carpet.... is hilarious

  • @rocharoch
    @rocharoch Před 8 měsíci +8

    the thunder cat story is just beautiful “one of his parents was carpet”.

  • @tashriquekarriem8865
    @tashriquekarriem8865 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Bro, you’d pay 8 😂😂😂

  • @S1X_Bucks
    @S1X_Bucks Před 8 měsíci +5

    "Bro, you'd pay $8"

  • @spencernielson8304
    @spencernielson8304 Před 3 měsíci +1

    When he was talking about Buzz Aldrin " it didn't look like he had been to the moon 🌙 " I believe him 😂

  • @AgileBeaverChinstrap
    @AgileBeaverChinstrap Před 10 měsíci +23

    That galactic twinkle

    • @jddnph1837
      @jddnph1837 Před 9 měsíci

      in one of their fuckin faceballs

    • @jimnasium3208
      @jimnasium3208 Před 8 měsíci

      Read this as he said it and lost my shit😂

  • @ino7604
    @ino7604 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Hes so effortlessly hilarious 😂 just him being his authentic self is so funny and genuine

  • @ippapp2
    @ippapp2 Před 6 měsíci +5

    Every story is fucking gold😂

  • @redhednitemare
    @redhednitemare Před 9 měsíci +16

    I never have a fucking clue what this dude is talkin about, but God damn I could listen to him all day

  • @R-sz1vd
    @R-sz1vd Před 4 měsíci +1

    The Hiroshima line got me, but him saying people made soup out of turtle necks was the most out of pocket thing he's said. 😂

  • @parkerquigleypuff
    @parkerquigleypuff Před 5 měsíci +2

    LASAGNA VAPE LMAO

  • @jaredfromsiliconvalley1887
    @jaredfromsiliconvalley1887 Před 10 měsíci +8

    Why he is the rat king... he gets himself out if tight spaces lmao

  • @CALKULTIK
    @CALKULTIK Před 6 měsíci +3

    8:02 bro the way he says “onward” lgkmfmskdk

  • @kieranshearer8943
    @kieranshearer8943 Před 8 měsíci +8

    Absolute perfect compilation 😂😂😂 subscribed!

  • @callofdoody21
    @callofdoody21 Před 8 měsíci +6

    jus saw theo in dc and he was absolutely hilarious 😂

  • @joshdavenport5787
    @joshdavenport5787 Před 19 dny

    "ppl grilling em" 😂😂😂

  • @Kay-vs3zb
    @Kay-vs3zb Před 4 měsíci

    Man, if you’ve got a bad day, all you have to do is listen to Theo and you will be laughing your ass off in no time. Theo is therapy. Makes everybody’s life look real fucking good.

  • @maxwellboughton8150
    @maxwellboughton8150 Před 8 měsíci +6

    Theo talking about hair coming out of a kid's face while wearing that hat is hard

  • @WeaponizedTX
    @WeaponizedTX Před 5 měsíci +2

    "One of his parents was carpet." 😂

  • @DR053
    @DR053 Před 5 měsíci +10

    Lecedric is 60% homeless, but I’ll always remember that story. I think of it often 😅

  • @jasoneffler9903
    @jasoneffler9903 Před 8 měsíci +10

    Theo is weirdly hilarious!

  • @grouchygeek4176
    @grouchygeek4176 Před 8 měsíci +3

    "I'll eat a damn birds ass man" what 😂

  • @GmikeGarcia
    @GmikeGarcia Před 8 měsíci +4

    A turtle neck truck 😂😂

  • @33shoobs
    @33shoobs Před 8 měsíci

    Great compilation

  • @simonpilarcik6838
    @simonpilarcik6838 Před 8 měsíci +20

    Theo is the kinda guy where you dont know if he is telling the truth or bsing

    • @voidwalker9223
      @voidwalker9223 Před 7 měsíci +3

      thats 95% of comedians most of them are fake they just learned to tell it in a way thats believable. Need content

  • @iSuperdupaloveweed
    @iSuperdupaloveweed Před 6 měsíci +1

    "It was like one of his parents were fucking carpet" is the wildest fucking burn

  • @nateellis9243
    @nateellis9243 Před 5 měsíci +2

    Some people even cooked em cuz they thought they were made out of real turtle🤣

  • @ayylienn
    @ayylienn Před 2 měsíci

    "JO'd me out". "Wristing me out into this little stream". 😂😂😂😂

  • @nexotope
    @nexotope Před 5 měsíci

    Fantastic compilation, I'm subbed now in case u make more, no cap on God we're working through it haha

  • @no_data6168
    @no_data6168 Před 10 měsíci +1

    good shit brio

  • @Onyxoko
    @Onyxoko Před 7 měsíci +2

    LaCedric 😩🤣

  • @eg4329
    @eg4329 Před 9 měsíci +4

    ‘Like one of his parents was carpet’ 😂

  • @jakewebb3979
    @jakewebb3979 Před 5 měsíci

    Theo Von is the GOAT, only question i have is how much of what he says is really real😂

  • @Jacqueline888
    @Jacqueline888 Před 3 měsíci

    the cut to riley silently blinking 😂

  • @ericnolan3689
    @ericnolan3689 Před 10 měsíci +40

    This was an unreal original compilation cheers bro
    Subscribed

    • @user-li2fy4hu7p
      @user-li2fy4hu7p Před 10 měsíci

      'Original compilation"
      Omg your generation is such a waste of life. lol

  • @MLGGSLMV
    @MLGGSLMV Před 8 měsíci +2

    “Like one of his parents was carpet” lol

  • @TdogMovies
    @TdogMovies Před 3 měsíci +1

    Thank God theo von started a podcast

  • @THENOROOFMOBCAST
    @THENOROOFMOBCAST Před 6 měsíci +1

    Whoever runs this page is DOING GODS WORK lmaooo thk u thk u thk u

  • @smartz565
    @smartz565 Před 4 měsíci +1

    nobody tells a story like our boy Theo .. gang 😂

  • @bridelizabeth
    @bridelizabeth Před 7 měsíci +1

    It didn't look like he had been to the moon 😂

  • @JesseTate
    @JesseTate Před 4 měsíci +1

    "You know . . . . the electrician hadn't visited his genetics"

  • @suevelez3309
    @suevelez3309 Před 8 měsíci +2

    You have a very
    Unique thinking
    Process Theo
    One of a kind…

  • @kittykitty713
    @kittykitty713 Před 3 měsíci +1

    One of his parents were carpet 😂😂😂😂

  • @BeastinlosersHD
    @BeastinlosersHD Před 8 měsíci +1

    No candles at dinner 😂😂

  • @joshuamwamlima
    @joshuamwamlima Před 4 měsíci

    Jesus Christ this man’s life was comedy gold!

  • @fayemclemore504
    @fayemclemore504 Před 5 měsíci

    “One of his parents was carpet “ 🤣🤣🤣

  • @saldiaz176
    @saldiaz176 Před 8 měsíci

    Jerked me off above the pants 😂

  • @vabp8985
    @vabp8985 Před 8 měsíci +9

    PEANUT BOTTER

  • @JasiahAponte-hs2fu
    @JasiahAponte-hs2fu Před 2 měsíci

    Theo von reminds me of the real life version of joe dirt’e lol love that dude great comedy and stories

  • @burtbrooks7731
    @burtbrooks7731 Před měsícem

    Not everybody got that galactic twinkle in one of their face balls💀